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I'll preface this by saying that I loved the 2007 Transformers movie. I thought it was a great attempt to bring in audiences of all ages while maintaining resemblance to the cartoon. It is my favorite movie and I've watched it 75+ times. I saw the midnight showing of Revenge of the Fallen last night, and I'm still not sure what I think of it. Pros: :: The effects. It's Michael Bay and ILM, it doesn't get much better. :: Awesome new robots. More Starscream/Megatron arguments than the first. :: Amazing scenery. This movie had a really adventurous attitude. Cons: :: Too many new robots. There were so many, that there was zero character development. :: A goddamn Terminator are you loving kidding me?WTF :: It was too adventurous. I had no clue where we were half the time. :: The loving narration. It seemed so hamfisted at points that I could actually hear the audience rolling its collective eye. :: The Fallen. Could they not think of a better name for this guy? With that said, I'm going to say I give it 3/5. Even with all that was wrong with it, it was still enjoyable. I laughed a lot and was blown away by the CGI and stuntwork in the action scenes. I'll be seeing it again in theater. I was tired as hell last night and I'm not sure if I slept through parts of it or not.
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Jun 25, 2009 00:35
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I too liked the first Transformers movie. This sequel for me was however, absolutely poo poo. From the first ridiculous slow-motion shot of Megan Fox sitting on a bike in her hot-pants, covered in make up (not that the audience minded much) it felt like the director was taking the piss. I know it's cliche to say Michael Bay films are mainly just great CGI with poo poo plots, but this film seriously warrants such comments. There are a few cool moments (mainly Optimus fighting), but honestly it is way too long at 2 and a half hours and drags on and on. 1/5
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Jun 25, 2009 01:48
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I won't be a hipster snob and give this movie a silly low rating despite my liking the first Transformers. To me, it's more of everything in the first Transformers. More robots? Check. More slow motion shots? Check. More explosions? Hell yes, check. More slapstick involving car-robots? Check. More one-liners? Check. More violence? Check. I didn't expect it to be 2.5 hours, but I didn't mind it. But for all the haters, I mean, really. The plot isn't complex, nor does it have to be. The war between the Decepticons and Autobots continues because part of the Cube is still alive, so each side brings in reinforcements, and the fights are big, loud, and badass. It's pure summer popcorn goodness. I loved it. 4/5. I'd give it a 4.5, except there wasn't nudity. That's all this film really needs for me.
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Jun 25, 2009 03:31
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I expected to see this movie and return home with a belly full of fire and the need to write a scathing, structured review. But the saddest part is that it's so loving dull that I can't be bothered. I do think that some of the movie's problems have been overstated. -For one, the Twins, while being unfunny and seemingly improvised on all levels, really don't have much screen time. They are generic, indecipherable buffoons, so I just shut them out. -Likewise, Sam's roomie is not nearly as grating as I had feared. He's just a symptom of a larger problem that plagues the movie, that being a severe case of motormouth. No one slows down, this guy included. By the end, he's just a whipping boy for the other characters. It makes you wonder why they even took him along for the ride. -Mikaela is maybe the least embarrassing character in this movie. She doesn't poo poo things up with bad humor, she seems to react somewhat like a real human, and she's just generally OK by me. Much better than Shia and his high-larious eye spasms and stammering. Megan Fox comes out of this mostly unscathed (just like her makeup). However, I also think that some large issues haven't gotten enough attention. -Bay (when judged by this movie) really can't orchestrate action for poo poo. I had no idea what was happening or why during some of the movie and I'm not a moron. He arranges these huge battles and then neuters them with bizarre editing, choreography, and framing. -Bay has no goddamn sense of timing. If you've ever seen the way he writes or heard how he speaks, this movie is an extension of his pseudo-illiteracy/dyslexia. He has no sense of when to leave time for laughs, when to slow dialogue down to allow for audience comprehension, when to linger on hero shots, or when to maintain the tone. It's all just slapped together shambolically and is one of the most schizo and self-sabotaging movies I've ever seen. -The VFX are inconsistent. Any shot that is primarily-CG looks mostly incredible, but scenes where humans and smaller robots must interact look pretty sloppy. Yes, I'm one of those bastards who is always looking at edges. The hatchlings also looked like poo poo, ditto the Terminatrix and her appendages. -The xenophobia and jingoism have gotten some attention, but I wasn't quite ready for the extent. An Egyptian(?) payphone falls off the wall because, well, it's foreign. A government official can't find his bearings amidst all the braying donkeys and turbans. Escargot look like "goose turds" and surely represent that wacky French cuisine. Some durkadurka guard lets strangers into a protected area because one of them mentions NEW YORK. And through all this, the US miltary is poised to swoop in and show everyone the path of greatest virtue. -The score is loving terrible. It's literally the most generic and predictable choices for each scene. Autobot or military speech = Solemn, swelling orchestra, etc.. -Maybe my ears are hosed, but I couldn't understand about 25% of the dialogue in this movie and roughly 90% of what the Twins said. The dialogue seemed to clash with the sound effects in even the non-action scenes. Any mechanical noise is placed way higher in the mix. Anyway, it's just a terribly sloppy movie. Anyone who wants substance from a $200 million movie should not bother. BTW how does someone like Spielberg forget what makes for a good movie? Anyway - 2/5 the_psychologist fucked around with this message at 10:03 on Feb 4, 2010 |
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Jun 25, 2009 04:45
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This movie was somewhat enjoyable. It wasn't as terrible as many people said it was, but it wasn't great either. The script was stupid, the dialog was stupid, and Michael Bay can't direct his way out of a paper bag. I'm pretty sure the only reason Spielberg put so much money behind it was because he wanted to see the movie for himself. That said, there's just something about giant robots that gets me in a happy mood, so yeah, I'm glad I saw it, I had fun and came out a few brain cells dumber, so mission accomplished. That said, I have a rather low set of expectations when it comes to movies to begin with. For movies that bastardize my childhood I prefer a rating scale of "Ninja Turtles 1" to "Coming out of our Shells Tour." Transformers 2 ranked "Ninja Turtles 3." I'll be lenient, though, and give it a 3/5 and pray that a third one is made with a different, competent director. I would really like to see this treatment work. Sulphuric Asshole fucked around with this message at 02:52 on Jun 26, 2009 |
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Jun 25, 2009 05:41
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You know, gently caress the haters, I got out of the 1040 showing a little while ago and enjoyed nearly every minute of it, I went in hearing about the seemingly racist robots and decepticon humping Megan Foxes leg, I heard about the lack of characterization and all the rest and I had low expectations, and you know what gently caress those beret wearing douchebags the movie is a good drat time. Yes the twins are more or less blatantly racist, but I don't think in a necessarily malicious way, more of an uninformed idiocy than an attempt to portray minorities as ignorant. Yes a Decepticaon really does hump Megan Fox's leg, like any of you wouldn't and it leads to mildly humorous dialogue. All that said my biggest gripe with the first one (other then the creepy sex on top of the sentiant car) was the lack of Transformers, it seems almost everything was about shia, and while technically it still is there's tons of bots and tons of battles. I honestly have no idea what anyone is talking about about not being able to follow the action they make it pretty clear who's who I guess if you're dumb or aren't paying attention it's easy to miss them call out a particular bot and then see it and put 2 and 2 together, some people need everything explained. This movie is pretty cool if for no other reason then 1 fight between Optimus about 35% of the way through and 1 by Bumble bee about 75% of the way through, I actually felt myself internally fist pumping during those to fights cause they were loving bad rear end. I mean Megan Fox is smokin and they do everything they can to remind you of this from the shot you've seen in the trailer of her straddling the bike to a later one that's baywatch style, all the way through she's hot and, well that's cool with me. All said it's probably 30 minutes longer then it needs to be, a little more editing and I would give it a five, I stick with a 4 and hope you guys don't put too much stock into what we "reviewers" have to say. for what it's worth I didn't really care for the first one. 4/5 SageSepth fucked around with this message at 08:04 on Jun 25, 2009 |
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Jun 25, 2009 08:02
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Saw this in iMax. The best way to see it in my opinion. This movie is very entertaining, and much darker than the original. The special effects are amazing. If you are going to this movie expecting something deeper than explosions, robots fighting and hot girls; then don't bother because you won't find it here. I liked this more than the original, it's different. The story line isn't very hard to follow, and lots of robots are introduced but since I'm not riddled with ADD I could take it in. Overall I loved this and plan on seeing it a couple more times in the theater. 5/5
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Jun 25, 2009 22:49
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Transformers 2 in a nutshell: Goofy humor. Fast-paced action. Minstrel-show humor. Fast-paced action. Five loving minutes of boring, generic, clichéd exposition. Fast-paced action. Totally out of place spiritual mumbo jumbo about destiny. Fast-paced action (seriously, could the climactic battle have been any less climactic? It lasted about thirty seconds). Roll credits. 2/5
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Jun 26, 2009 23:03
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I'm not sure which of these are a better description, "Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, more like Stupid Guy and Military Friends: Revenge of It's Boring Oh God Please End" or "The best thing Bay could have done for this movie is to cut out every scene except for Optimus Prime killing things. The resulting film would be fifteen minutes long, but it would be a more enjoyable experience than the current film. Even if Bay went so far as to cut out every single scene from the movie, it would still be more worth the ticket price than it is now because then you could just go home" Aside from my opinion, the only two comments I heard from other people leaving the theater were, "There were no Autobots in the entire movie", and "That movie was like thirty hours long". Edit: Forgot to give official rating. 1/5. Only see this movie if you live and breathe for Transformers
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Jun 27, 2009 07:42
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The humor sucked and was completely out-of-place. Other than that, I enjoyed the movie. It was exactly what I expected. Definitely could have used more autobots, though. 3/5
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Jun 27, 2009 21:23
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If you liked the first one, you'll like this one. Don't expect any more, but don't listen to people saying it's terrible either. On the other hand, if you didn't like the first one, you won't like this one either. Don't waste your money.
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Jun 27, 2009 21:45
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Ok take the first Transformers movie and increase its length to rival the Deer Hunter or one of the Lord of the Rings films and you've got this movie. It would have been good if it wasn't so loving LONG. Oh yea and the annoying, hilariously racist stereotype robots that Michael Bay somehow thought were a good idea. 2/5
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Jun 28, 2009 07:35
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Reading some of the reviews made me realise why comic-book guy was created, and that he is so accurate he is a work of genius. To the point, this film does what it is supposed to do; entertain. I read generally negative reviews prior to this movie, and to that, I refer to the opening lines. As many have said, it is a movie with big explosions, big robots fighting each other, and hot girls. There are around 5 testicle jokes, about a thousand explosions with plenty of fighter planes and tanks and even more stuff exploding. Well poo poo, I didn't see that coming. What genre could Transformer films possibly be? Then you have people bitching about the lack of character development. Seriously. For a movie about talking robots from outer space that transform into cars who fight other similar robots. Yeah I was kinda hoping the Autobots would reflect upon their role in the fate of Earth while wading through the existentialist quagmire of their whole design, and how they are now engaged in a pseudo-dialectic materialist battle against the Decepticons. Or they could punch and shoot each other. Seriously, I think some people walked in expecting "No Country for Old Men" or something. For the people who do watch movies normally, it really is a great summer flick. As summed up above, its a good film to watch for a fun, entertaining time. 4/5.
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Jun 28, 2009 18:44
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gently caress the assholes expecting a movie like There Will Be Blood or The Pianist. You know why? Those movies are ridiculously boring compared to this movie, sure they have character development, a much more concise plot and generally a better idea of direction. But those movies are Oscar-takers that were made for the sole purpose of getting Oscars. This movie is fun, it has action and it is loving badass - and I expected nothing more from it when I walked in the cinema to watch it and I was entertained much more so than a lot of other films I've seen. I just wish Michael Bay would keep to his guns about it being a summer blockbuster that's created for the sole purpose of entertaining people, and stop trying to stuff bullshit like the destiny scene in, didn't fit at all. Was a bit long, but explosions and fight scenes made up for that really. They should have used Summer Glau for the Terminator Decepticon. 5/5, most entertaining film I've seen this year.
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Jun 28, 2009 21:56
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I'd like to preface this review by saying that robots fighting and Megan Fox does not automatically make a good film. Having said that, I thought the first film was about as enjoyable as it could be and fairly entertaining throughout. It's important to get that out of the way for reasons I will explain later. The problem with Transformers 2 is that it's so self indulgent and full of "throw it at the wall and see what sticks" filler that it's like they amplified every annoying but ignorable moment in the first movie. The result is an exhausting two and a half hours that only *really* starts with an hour to go by which time we've already been treated to the best fight of the movie. The story is so bloated that I have to wonder whether the runtime was really put to use. You've got Sam leaving for college to try and have a "normal" life after the events of the first film and that's about as coherent as it gets. Then lots of stuff happens which I'm not even going to dignify with a proper explanation but it involves the military not bothering to guard important things and slimy guys trying to undermine the military on behalf of President Obama and....did I mention there was a lot of military in this film? Sam and his robot friends then have to go to Egypt to save the sun, or something. The robots are disappointing. The interesting ones from the first one (apart from Optimus Prime!!) are relegated to the back seat and new ones are introduced. New additions "The Twins" are awful characters with or without the accusations of racism. Their sole purpose is to provoke laughter from children by calling people "pussys" and doing good things by accident(lol!). This is pretty much the tone for the whole movie as none of the characters seem to "earn" anything, instead they seem to just get lucky. Anyway, who needs plot when you can abruptly end important dialogue to insert *little robot humps leg*? This film has a lot of "hilarious" toilet humour by the way so I hope you have a sense of humour! Yeah the special effects are great but a lot of the cinematography doesn't do it justice at all. Half of the time I didn't even know what I was looking at, not something I felt in the first film. On a positive note though, the Optimus fight in the forest was probably the best CGI I've seen all year. Sadly, that only made the final battle tame by comparison. There's also a few things which just pull you right out of the movie. Hey let's cut to Megan Fox all the time using the exact same Indie rock theme. Let's throw the parents into the final set piece, the audience loves them! Cliche authority figure trying to sabotage the military? Well we can't have too many of those! It was spilling over with completely unnecessary poo poo that screams "EDIT ME!". This movie could have been an hour and forty five minutes and I honestly think it would have been better. In some consolatory way the film at least provokes a reaction. Indeed, there's no room for sitting on the fence on this one. You're either disgusted by two and a half hours of garbage or vehemently arguing that those who didn't like it must have been expecting "There Will Be Blood". Clearly some of us aren't enjoying films properly. Which brings us back to my little disclaimer at the beginning. I didn't like this movie but I certainly didn't go in there with unfair expectations. The only film I was comparing this to was Transformers 1. If people want to rationalise bad reviews by living in another reality then I concede that Bay has done something truly wonderful. His big, loud retarded movie has rubbed off on people. 1/5 stars for being boring. 8raz fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Jun 29, 2009 |
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Jun 29, 2009 01:06
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Just saw this last night. I thought it would be awful, judging by the reviews, but it was just barely decent, which was a surprise. They stole so much from other films, it is embarrassing, but whatever. The action and some of the fight scenes Optimus fighting 3 robots at once was awesome, and I would give the film a 5/5 if it was based on the action alone. It was flashy, bigger than anything in recent memory (2012 looking like it might actually be the only other film to come close in sheer scope of carnage and destruction), and stuff blows up about every 15 seconds. As for the story, horrible plot holes, and grating, unfunny dialogue, the introduction of a terminator rip-offI would give it a 0.5/5. Average this out, and you get about a 2.7/5 or so. It's worth seeing for the insanely up scaled battles and explosions.... if you was wade through the awful plot and characters, and dialogue. Megan Fox is simply eye candy, and since you know she is only there to run in slow motion, and bend over, it's really annoying. If it fits the movie, I can understand. If it's like pouring chocolate syrup on a pizza, it makes no sense and just ruins the potentially delicious pizza. This is what happens here. She did not need to be in the film, at all, other than to pull a Trinity I love you, Neo... and then magically Sam is brought back to life One last thing I want to add: I am white, so I don't perceive racism as well as I probably should, and was rolling my eyes when I heard that there were racist stereotypical "black" robots in the film. Yeah right, I thought... just an overreaction by a sensitive and overly PC media... Dear lord... how did they get away with this?  Huge Bug-eyes, check. Huge buck teeth, one gold.. check. Huge floppy ears.. check. Big lips... check. Can't read... check. "Mud" in the name of the character... check. Ghetto speaking and foul mouthed... check If you could tick off every offensive hallmark of a 1800s political cartoon featuring a black male, you'd have them all with the twins. I'm am a white, Christian male from the age of 20-45 and I was offended by them. I am taking away another point for that needless idiocy. 1.7/5 ZenMaster fucked around with this message at 17:55 on Jun 29, 2009 |
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Jun 29, 2009 17:39
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I only had a couple issues with the movie but overall I enjoyed it for the abundance of poo poo getting blown up. 3/5 for robot kickassery, and the little ghetto robots for showing me that General Motors really does make a car even smaller than my Chevy Aveo. 1. How does nobody give a poo poo about any of the thousands of civilians lost, killed or injured throughout this film? I mean, the Decepticons are coming to Earth, so of course they choose only highly-populated metropolitan cities to land on instead of a desert, an ocean, a mountain or some other highly likely scenario out in the middle of nowhere. Welp, we're here to blow up your sun, no use trying to cover up the existence of aliens now! 2. Wouldn't the Decepticons only be screwing themselves over by blowing up the sun while they're standing on Earth a paltry 93 million miles away? 3. HOOOO poo poo WE'RE IN EGYPT NOW let's just walk behind this rock here and OMIGOD THE PYRAMIDS! Hay guyz let's follow Orion's Belt because it's totally pointing toward something, NEVER MIND THE EARTH'S AXIS SHIFTED THOUSANDS OF YEARS AGO and those stars don't align with jack poo poo anymore! But hey! We found exactly what we came for out of spite for astronomy and geography!
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Jun 29, 2009 21:13
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It was alright. Lots of robots fighting is good enough to equal out all the lovely stuff. I got super dizzy when the camera kept spinning at the "romantic" parts. 2.5/5 and I rarely give movies this low of a rating.
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Jul 1, 2009 01:39
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Saw this last night - it wasn't great. I'm not going to say I was disappointed because you'd have to at least hope for or expect something good in order to actually be disappointed. As everyone else said, at 2 and a half hours long, expect to start falling asleep like I did around the 90 minute mark. There's just too much to take in all at once and soon you'll probably begin to blank it all out. Too much dumb humour. Mother buys "Nice organic cookies" or whatever they were and is totally stoned mere minutes later! The roommate character held no purpose other than for laughs. Likewise with the twins. Oh, and did anyone else see the hey look there's a room behind this wall coming from a mile away? On the plus sides, awesome fight scenes. Best sequence of the movie is Optimus fighting three Decepticons in the forest. The final sequence is, as others have said, too brief, it's done in less than a minute. Oh, and QUANTUM CRYPTO GEAR! 2/5 - simply because it's just too long, shave half an hour off and i'd have given it 3/5
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Jul 1, 2009 10:05
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The movie is actually better than I expected it to be. It's sad however, that that's not saying much. The problems that are apparent in the first movie are still there, only magnified a bunch. Characters are introduced and re-introduced and then given absolutely ZERO closure. It really seems like they introduce characters, and then once they've served a touch of purpose, they are literally forgotten. I actually had my hopes raised a bit, as the scenes in the beginning were actually quite entertaining and a great way to start the film. But then the scenes with Megan Fox draped over the motorcycle had to come and ruin it. Yes, she's spectacularly hot, but it's not hard to showcase that and not be ridiculous about it in the hands of a capable director. I mean, jesus - have some loving class. The film kinda goes downhill from there. I just about walked out during the Sexual-innuendo physics lesson. And then the terminator showed up and asked my buddy if he wanted to walk out. Sadly, he didn't. The film REEKS of being written by committee, with Bay showing up to make sure that he has some new wank material in seeing military hardware in action. I have to admit that some of it was pretty cool, but I found it odd that none of these countries (especially China) had any problems with a large amount of US military operating on their soil. A slight scene resolving this issue would have been great, but since it obviously didn't serve the purpose of getting more explosions it fell by the wayside. I'd love to talk about each and every problem with this movie, but it would probably take as long as this movie's excessively long running time. 2/5 as it WAS better than I expected, but not much.
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Jul 1, 2009 16:46
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1.5/5 I almost walked out. I loved the fist one and the extra .5 is out of respect for the first movie. I it was like they took a bunch of left over ideas/footage from the first film added a lot more robots and explosions and that's how they ended up with this. I'm sure the 3rd one will have the Dinobots in it. Who knows maybe even some Go-bots or Rocklords.
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Jul 1, 2009 19:47
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I'll ignore all the bad humor and racism and say that I would have enjoyed this movie much more if it was cut down to the 30-35 minutes of solid robot-fighting-robot action found in this movie. I still would have felt like my $11 was wasted, but at least I wouldn't have had to sit through 2 extra hours of what had to be some of the most boring cinema I have ever seen. 1/5
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Jul 1, 2009 22:26
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The first movie was a fun but ultimately silly action sci-fi blockbuster, and I have to admit I enjoyed it for what it was. I was hoping for more of the same but I feel like I just wasted a perfectly good Friday night. The humour felt forced and out of place, and the script was cliche-ridden to the point where I could predict almost exactly how the next scene would turn out. Characters get no development whatsoever, Michael Bay treats them like simple plot devices. Megan Fox was there for no other reason than to look hot and pull some ridiculous SAVED BY THE POWER OF LOVE!!! bullshit out of her arse. The Linkin Park soundtrack is the least of this movie's problems. On the other hand, it was cool to see the military hardware in action, even if it was against CGI robots. The girl I was with loved every second of it, and if it wasn't for her I would have walked out. 1/5 but I would give it a negative rating if I could.
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Jul 3, 2009 16:25
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There are two types of people. Those who admit this film is utter poo poo and those who deny it and say "it's perfect summer popcorn entertainment! It's supposed to be stupid! Just turn your brain off and have fun!" The problem is that if you're not functionally retarded this movie is boring as gently caress. It's 2 and a half hours of complete poo poo shoveled to you courtesy of Michael Bay. The action is badly edited. You don't care about any of the characters. The plot is incoherent. The dialog is painful and half the time you can't even understand what they're saying anyway because the sound is poo poo. The cinematography is frame hosed and assembled in such a way that you'll never have any idea which transformer is which, what is happening, and why someone is running in slow motion. When people tell you this is what summer movies are supposed to be, those people are idiots. Summer movies are supposed to be big budget thrill rides where you can actually figure out what is happening and cheer and scream along with the story. Movies like Jaws, Exorcist, Dark Knight, Raiders, and even the new Star Trek from the same writers. The problem is that this movie is so incompetently made you just sit through long unintelligible scenes and wait for the next CG robot to appear and punch something in a scene that will be shot with a rotating camera so you cannot figure out what's happening. Nobody who hates this film went in expecting this movie to be Citizen Kane, The Pianist, or There Will Be Blood. We were expecting however that for 200 million dollars and the price of a movie ticket, a barely coherent storyline for the 2.5 hours you're forcing them to sit there. Highlights of this poo poo show that you will love if you're a complete moron: - The robot battles are short, incomprehensible, and you won't know who's fighting who anyway. This is not a good action movie by any stretch of the imagination. You won't even care the outcome of the final battle, and you won't even know why or what's going on in the first place. But hey, you're a moron so as long as you like shiny objects displayed on screen this movie has that. When the film ends maybe someone in the lobby will dangle their car keys in front of your face for a few hours to keep the experience going! - The scenes with poo poo like Shia Lebouf's mom eating pot brownies and going insane last forever. Morons will be howling with laughter at the hijinks of Sam Witwhogivesafuck and his wacky parents which consume roughly 30 minutes of this film. - The human villain: Sinister Decepticon appeaser President Barack Obama and his newly appointed henchman who are evil cowards and want to turn the nebbish kid over the villains. The hero: The brave "America gently caress Yeah!" military who must disobey his traitorous orders and save Earth. Morons love Rush Limbaugh's show, so they'll love Bay's politics too! - This movie thinks you are so loving stupid that you will not notice that the characters enter into the Smithsonian Air & Space Museum in downtown Washington D.C. and walk out into a giant plane yard in Southern California. Because who gives a poo poo about even basic continuity, you're a moron! Eat it up mongoloid! - It's a movie about battling robots yet somehow most of the screen time is spent with two obnoxious whiny guytards who look 30 and are supposed to be 18 year old college freshmen. Who cares, the audience are morons they don't know the difference! - How about some more Linkin Park music for you morons! - Bay: Hey I know what my audience of Carlos Mencia loving morons will eat up, racist jokes, lots of explosions for no reason, and give me more dogs and robots humping to edit into action scenes! These morons will be slobbering over my dick for more! Dee dee dee. Suck it bitches! This movie hates you and thinks you're a moron. I can't speak for everyone, but it's definitely not for me. 1/5
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Jul 4, 2009 22:36
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If there is one thing that explains everything about this movie it's the fact that it was being made during the writer's strike. Bay didn't have a script, but decided to make all the CGI battle sequences anyway, and then just have the writers try and string them together later. And it shows, badly. One aspect where this shows through the worst is with the sound. Because the story wasn't completed yet, obviously no lines were scripted for any of the fights. That means that that no body language or mannerisms were animated to correspond to the audio that's dubbed over the blur of insanity that's happening on screen. Without these cues to guide you, it's really loving difficult to understand what the robots are saying, or even who is saying it. This is only exacerbated by the fact that what they're saying is often batshit loving crazy. At one point Optimus, the avatar of good and justice, growls, "Give me your face!" and then proceeds to rip another robot's face off, to the abject shock and horror of that robot. Which segues to my next point; for a good guy, Optimus sure is a bloodthirsty psychopath. He executes a crippled decepticon after asking for its last words, there is the face ripping, and a completely separate instance of him using some magically appearing glowing meat hooks to rip apart another robot's head while it screams in agony. These acts are made even more objectionable because the movie provides two different instances of decepticons choosing to give up their evil ways. This movie is like a fever dream. Every day or so I'll remember some new and confusing aspect of it. The only reason to see it is just to experience how incoherent and awful it really is. 1/5
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Jul 11, 2009 00:23
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I just finished watching this movie. I'm not really that disappointed about it, because I didn't go opening night and I saw it for free, but here's my take on it. At the beginning all I really wanted to see was a bunch of Transformers beating the poo poo out of one another, and saying stupid one-liners as they did so. I felt deprived of action most of the time, and really wished I would've just watched it on mute instead. The stupid NEST team, which is tasked with locating and destroying Decepticons, showed none of the Autobots for more than 30 seconds on screen, and never really referred to them by name. I felt disassociated, and never knew who the new Autobots were without actually having to look them up. It starts out shoddy at best, the narration seems likes its only there because the opening sequences would've had everyone saying  . I don't really think Shia plays a good character, and Megan Fox just kind of plays the "I'm the hot alternative girl, and I don't have very much to contribute" in every movie she does. The Roommate reminds me of a stereotypical goon, that watched Zeitgeist a few times too many, and has a habit of spewing verbal diarrhea in every scene he's included in. The story was completely inconsistent. Bay uses a lot of small to non-existent plot devices that don't engage me at all, I've since adopted this as his MO. I'll agree with the xenophobia that it portrays, especially the scenes in the Middle East, and when Shia's parents are in France. (I still have no idea why that scene was even in the movie to begin with). On the subject of the racist Autobot twins, which, to my dismay were more present than Ironhide, Optimus, or any of the others, was simply kind of stupid, they really had nothing to offer in terms of story progression, or humor. I was actually hoping a Decepticon would show up and blow up the both of them, so I didn't have to hear the intelligently devoid chatter anymore. Also: Megatron's return didn't really make much sense, seeing as how Shia LeBouf had to go all the way to loving Egypt to resurrect Prime, using an Item called The Matrix (Innovative). Megatron gets resurrected in 90 seconds by having a Decepticon give him his spark? That's loving Nonsense. In the movie's defense, I can agree that the movie wasn't really going to be a fantastic Sci-fi/Action powerhouse. I never expected it to be. I watched the cartoons growing up, and I like them more for their nostalgia factor than their actual story to begin with... But then again it's just my opinion. 1/5
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Jul 13, 2009 23:40
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It took the equivalent of four 40 oz beers for me to get through this but I did in the end. I saw a robot with one gold tooth and neon green spray paint speak jive to another. I saw an old robot with a bad english accent using a landing gear as a cane reminiscing about the old times. There were plenty of rear end shots of Megan Fox in her daisy dukes which redeems this movie to a certain point. Shia Lebouf is his usual annoying self in this film which makes you wonder who he knows in Hollywood that gets him so many roles. One of the biggest mysteries is how a movie like this manages to gross several times its budget. It's pure poo poo and i'm hardly picky about summer blockbusters. The middle and the end drags on and on to the point where you would hope that one of the characters on screen would transform into end credits. What could have been lots of cool action scenes with transformers battling it out is replaced with slapstick negro-bots who transform from chevy previa looking econo boxes. Who knows what Michael Bay is thinking and i'm assuming there were the usual array of dipshit Hollywood executives pulling strings providing their ill informed input to create this mess. 1/5 Zombie Layne fucked around with this message at 15:41 on Oct 4, 2009 |
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Oct 3, 2009 16:11
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Unbelievably bad, hits every offensive stereotype in the book, and also serves as more of a blowjob to military recruitment than Top Gun. Every bad review in this thread has it spot on. 0/5
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Oct 4, 2009 18:09
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Lord of the Rings with GO GO USA patriotism and giant robots from a cartoon designed for infants aged 0 - 2. 0/5
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Oct 5, 2009 16:12
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its a sequel to a movie based on an 80's cartoon designed to sell toys to children. and thats exactly what you get. 1/5
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Oct 6, 2009 09:22
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Zombie Layne posted:The middle and the end drags on and on to the point where you would hope that one of the characters on screen would transform into end credits. This comment is hilarious, and sums up my feelings exactly. This movie is a military masterbatorium designed for recruitment, and is disorientating and insipid in it's disdain of the average movie goer. There is a huge section that should have been left on the cutting floor, and I didn't care for any of the characters in this movie. 1/5
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Oct 10, 2009 06:27
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This movie is really dumb, but I cannot say it's boring, which would be the cardinal sin in any crap film. There's plentiful giant robots and poo poo blowing up, and you can see the $200M on the screen. All in all I didn't hate it nearly as much as I thought I would. Being drunk probably helps. 2/5
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Oct 13, 2009 13:32
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5/5. Yes, 5/5. This movie is so incredibly bad it's highly entertaining. Halfway through this I said "Ok, hideously bad dialog, pot jokes, fart jokes, dogs humping things, robot balls ... poo poo, all we need is a midget (or little person, except this is a Bay movie and ethnic sensitivity doesn't seem to exist.)" Guess what I saw ten minutes later? I laughed and clapped like a little girl. Michael Bay is just seeing what he can get away with anymore. Robot balls. ROBOT. BALLS.
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Nov 10, 2009 19:37
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Even if you "turn off your brain and enjoy this summer blockbuster" it's still about 2 and a half hours of not very good drama, human dialogue and plot holes. Interesting and fun new characters, very nice effects and top quality production, but as it has been mentioned the fact that it was put together during the writer's strike shows. I wouldn't dare take anyone who isn't a transformers fan to see it, but otherwise good flick and average direction. Atrocious dialogue definitely, sub-par forgettable score. 4/5 because really, you come to understand what a delicate and marvelously flawed man Michael Bay is.
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Nov 27, 2009 06:39
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Honestly, found it less stupid than the first one, and the setpieces were better (with the exception of the very opening of the first movie - the assault on the army base was cool). Substituted annoying and pointless hackers with an annoying and pointless roommate and annoying and pointless Autobot "twins"; substituted loving around for half of forever in the backyard with loving around for half of forever in Egypt/Jordan; etc. Kept the moderately amusing but totally pointless parents; kept the relationship between Megan Fox and Shia LeBouf that nobody loving cares about at all; added a genuinely awesome forest fight between some giant evil robots and the leader of the giant good robots. It probably helped that I watched this in two parts separated by about 24 hours, but still, I enjoyed it quite a bit more than the first movie, perhaps because it seemed almost purposefully bad, as opposed to the "did a grown man think any of this was a good idea" vibe I had during the first movie. At this point, I'm willing to believe that Bay knew that he'd make a bazillion dollars whether the story made any sense or not and just said "gently caress it," and I can give that a certain amount of begrudging respect. 2.5/5 (T1 would get a 1/5 from me) Ortsacras fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Dec 2, 2009 |
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Dec 2, 2009 22:41
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