|
Hi, guys! Incoming wall of text, sorry: skip it if you don't want to read about tricky labor and deliveries. My husband and I are thinking about whether we want to try for a second child. With our first child the labor didn't go very well; everything turned out okay but when she was born our daughter wasn't breathing and things were pretty dicey for the first 24-48 hours. We'll be seeing a new OB/GYN because the doctor who delivered our daughter just does GYN stuff now (which is a bummer--I like her and I like the people at her office) and I'm thinking I want to do a pre-pregnancy visit. Basically I'm trying to figure out some questions to ask, and get a clearer idea in my head of what went on last time, and I was hoping you guys could help. Here's the run-down: Pregnancy was totally uneventful and fine. Just at 37 weeks, my water broke (at 3:30 AM, naturally). We checked into the hospital at 4 AM. The baby hadn't really dropped--she was head-down but still quite high; I was barely dilated at all and I don't think much effacement had happened; I was having some contractions but they weren't regular. After some hours they told me they wanted to induce. I was fine with that, kind of expecting it because my birthing class stressed that doctors currently don't like the baby to stick around in you for more than 24 hours after the water breaks. At various intervals the nurses asked if I wanted pain medication; around noon or so I said that yeah, I did (backrubs and birthing ball were helpful, but back labor was really not fun and my chipper mood was starting to wear the hell off). Around four or so in the afternoon they asked again if I wanted an epidural, and I agreed (against my better judgment? I don't even know, I was pretty wiped out by then and in a lot of pain, and it was clearly going to be a long haul). By seven or so in the evening (15-16 hours after my water broke) my doctor told me they were concerned about how the baby was doing and that they wanted to do a C-section. I still wasn't dilated more than 1-2 cm, baby wasn't getting anywhere, I was all exhausted and shivery and confused. So yeah, we did a C-section. The doctors whisked her away to the NICU; she was on a breathing tube for ~48 hours; it was scary as hell. Then she perked right up and has been completely fine. Sorry about all that text! Anyway, I need some insight into what happened, what questions to ask a new OB/GYN, whether I can prevent having something like that again. I don't care about my "childbirth experience" much at all, but it was so scary when my daughter was delivered barely alive. Does anyone have, for instance, links to solid studies or just detailed websites about 1. SSRIs and pregnancy? (I was on prozac throughout the pregnancy. I tried getting off it before getting pregnant but found that I was getting really unstable. It's been mentioned as maybe linked to my daughter's scary birth.) 2. Induction, analgesics, epidurals, C-section, not-so-breathing babies...? Any suggestions about what to ask the OB/GYN at a pre-pregnancy meeting? I get the impression that what I experienced is not at all uncommon, but I'd like some information beyond either "just cross your fingers and let the NICU sort it out if anything goes wrong" or "modern medicine evilly overmanages birth just go natural all the way and there will be no problem." I know this is kind of  stuff but I need some more information so I can have a useful conversation with a doctor.Recommendations about doulas? We didn't have anyone like that the first time--and honestly, while I'm very glad my daughter was at a fully-equipped hospital I do wish I'd had someone other than my exhausted/confused husband to help me sort through what the nurses were telling me. I'm kind of a smile-and-nod-and-do-what-they-tell-you person. Uh, for what it's worth, I was 30 when my daughter was born, will be at least 33 for the next birth if we go for it.
|
#
¿
Jul 29, 2011 13:39
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 21:09 |
|
|
Thanks for the recommendation--though, ngh, their articles on various SSRIs and pregnancy are worrying. It's looking like something I definitely want to talk to a good doctor about before pregnancy this time around.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 29, 2011 20:34
|
|
|
Jeebus creebus. I'm just 9 weeks into my second pregnancy and in the last couple of days I've developed really miserable lower back pain. It's right at that pelvis/sacrum joint. I know that it's not surprising to have symptoms like this earlier on in second/later pregnancies, but I really wasn't expecting this kind of back pain this early on. I feel like such a wimp, but it's making it hard to walk more than very short distances. I'm not ready to be waddling and hobbling about at only 9 weeks! Have many of you had this in early pregnancy before? Did it clear up? Come and go in spells? Did you talk to your doc about it? Did anything help?
|
|
#
¿
Apr 10, 2012 00:11
|
|
|
buttzilla posted:I also noticed movements a lot earlier (11 weeks)... That's interesting--I was feeling that now-familiar weird little fluttering yesterday and dismissed it as way too early to be feeling the kidlet. Which it probably is (10 weeks), but I'll be paying more attention. So different from the casual abuse you get later on, where the little twerp punches you from the inside for a while and then lodges a foot in your ribcage for a nap.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2012 13:10
|
|
|
I was very glad we did childbirth classes with my first pregnancy. Even though I knew most of the technical details, the teacher had a lot of good tips about issues that don't always get stressed (she was big on reminding us about ways to help pain with back labor, thank goodness). We also took a mini-class on newborn care that helped a lot, seeing as my husband had never changed a diaper and I was panicky about how to wash babies. Plus if your husband wants to do them, that may be a good enough reason. The classes were pretty good for us as a couple, in terms of clearing up questions he'd been uneasy about and making him feel like he could be helpful. e. The classes also included a tour of the hospital. We ended up unexpectedly having my daughter at the other hospital in the city, and I definitely wished it had been at the place where I knew what the rooms looked like and where the parking lots were, etc. (And they gave us some free hospital visitor parking passes, which would have come in handy if we'd had the baby there.) Andrias Scheuchzeri fucked around with this message at 23:47 on Apr 17, 2012 |
|
#
¿
Apr 17, 2012 23:38
|
|
|
I am so sorry about the hip pain. I have so much sympathy but I'm afraid I don't have any advice--my bout of hip/back pain cleared up after a few days of taking it easy when possible, thank god. I found that lying down was the best for it--a lot of sitting positions made it worse.
|
|
#
¿
Apr 29, 2012 17:24
|
|
|
Ceridwen posted:I'm pretty sure I could get student health (run by the GP practice in town) to take blood for a test if I wanted, but from what I've read my OB's approach of waiting until ~6-8 weeks for the first visit is pretty normal and I don't have any reason to be especially concerned. I'm young, got pregnant quickly, and don't have a history of losses. And I was charting so I'm pretty sure when I ovulated, which is nice. Standard for my OB is to make the first appointment for ~7wks and do an ultrasound to check viability/placement and confirm how far along you are. Then they send you off for a whole bunch of bloodwork which probably includes hCG but covers other things as well.
|
|
#
¿
May 11, 2012 15:46
|
|
|
As far as the things we really really used with our daughter (...that we hope haven't gone weirdly moldy sitting in the basement so we can use them again  )- a swing seat (there were times when that was the only thing she would sleep in at two in the morning, plus it let us put her down somewhere nearby while we ate our meals) - a stroller frame that worked with our carseat/carrier (things like this: http://www.consumersearch.com/car-seat-strollers/stroller-frames) - a bathtub (not super necessary but easy to find at yard sales for like $2) - a changing pad that had raised sides (she really liked that and it cut down on the feeling that she was just going to roll away) - the boppy (it was nice having two, actually, one upstairs and one downstairs) - a playmat with dangly things up above (we got one at a yard sale when she was ~5mos and wow, all of a sudden she was wayyy more into trying to roll around and get places) - a pack'n'play kind of thing (it was her "crib" with a basinette insert for the first several months, then a playpen/toy storage, then a travel crib) Most of those we got at yard sales for 20 bucks or under.
|
|
#
¿
May 11, 2012 17:58
|
|
|
I probably have a different "United Healthcare," or most likely a different branch under it, but--no, that doesn't sound very typical to me. Cover-Your-rear end is pretty common these days, but I haven't heard of it being the norm to jump right to referrals, or to see a different doctor every visit.
|
|
#
¿
May 16, 2012 23:30
|
|
|
Yeah, I waited till the last minute for some things and when the kidlet came right at 37 weeks my husband and mom had to do the same scrambling for laundry and crib assembly. Question: I've been looking for some pregnancy-okay abdominal exercises. Does this stuff look reasonable to you? http://www.progressiveparent.com/Pregnancy_postnatal_exercise/pregnancy-exercise-abs.htm I'm really, um, not an exercise person unless it's walking. But I'm kind of disconcerted by how early and rapidly everything is bulging with this second pregnancy. I know that's pretty common but I feel like my poor wimpy muscles could use a little encouragement.
|
|
#
¿
May 21, 2012 14:02
|
|
|
I'd call the hospital and ask what kind of breast pump/nursing support they provide (even if it's not covered by insurance). When my daughter was born there was a program that let you rent one; we only needed it for the first month--really only the first few days while she was in the NICU and I came home. It came with a hand-run pump that we got to keep. Nursing bras--I find that I like the kind that clip up at the strap better than the ones that snap in the middle front. Those little bastards always spring loose, especially if you've got a baby carrier on you. Nursing pads--I liked the Lansinoh disposable ones. They were absolutely a necessity for a few months after birth, though eventually milk production settled down to where I wasn't really leaking.
|
|
#
¿
May 22, 2012 00:34
|
|
|
My daughter was in the NICU for her first week, getting fed mostly by bottle and having a pacifier. She breastfed just fine, and ended up not being big on pacifiers or thumb-sucking at all.  e. And more importantly, congratulations! Sounds like a scary interlude for sure, but she sure is a cutie.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 7, 2012 23:38
|
|
|
Randomity posted:I had an ultrasound at 38 weeks because the doctor couldn't tell if the baby was head down and just wanted to make sure she was in the right position. Yep, ditto. I don't remember when exactly it was, but it was 30+ weeks. She was a little slow to get her head down and they wanted to check that. Go ahead and ask your OB what they want to look for--there are plenty of non-scary things.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 8, 2012 12:53
|
|
|
^^^ Beaten, with useful data! Thanks for linking that. Now I don't worry about all the coffee ice cream I've had!Lullabee posted:So, I'm still in the process of reading this thread, but I'm 5 weeks pregnant currently, and I was curious: Mr. Lullabee is insistant that I have no caffeine EVER. From what I've read so far, everyone else says one a day won't hurt. Is there any studies I can show him that prove that one can of cola or one cup of coffee won't hurt me? I'm a caffeine addict, and already dealing with horrid headaches now because of it. I mean, my doctor told me a cup of something daily was okay. Can you wait out the first few weeks, though, when the miscarriage risk is highest? I don't know whether the timing of caffeine consumption affects whatever risk there is, but your husband might feel less jittery.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 12, 2012 20:36
|
|
|
Ginger ale and most root beer brands are generally caffeine-free as well. Cutting out/cutting down on caffeine isn't too hard for me, but I very much miss my bottle of beer with dinner. Even though I don't think I'm going to go to the trouble of making any of these, this thread on non-alcoholic drinks was fun to follow: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3487484 Maybe something there to keep you entertained?
|
|
#
¿
Jun 12, 2012 21:00
|
|
|
Guh. My daughter was born right at 37 weeks and I was already completely sick of being pregnant. Two or three weeks over term would have had me hammering on the hospital doors every morning begging them to do something. Anything.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 14, 2012 19:53
|
|
|
Well, from the 19-wk ultrasound it's looking like Li'l Neo is probably a boy. My main reaction has been mild panic. I have to learn baby boy things. Cleaning boy parts and doing boy potty training. I'm taking a deep breath and reminding myself that ultimately my husband and I have always wanted one of each, and this is great (and everything looked just fine on the U/S, lots of goofy kicking, everything the right size and all that). I know it's silly, it just suddenly feels like I'm going to have to learn all this new stuff when I already know how to do the baby girl thing. Women here who have had boys--it's not actually a big deal changing boy diapers (just watch out for fountains) and doing potty training with boys, right?
|
|
#
¿
Jun 22, 2012 15:49
|
|
|
Ha, okay, thanks guys! I've been warned about the poop on the scrotum too and I'm sure that and the fountains and baby boners will get totally normal after a few days. It must have been about the same for my husband learning to clean up our daughter. Now I'll just go shed a small tear for the handful of darling little toddler dresses that were only worn twice and then outgrown and I won't get another chance at. I'm not even all that into girly clothes but some of those were so nice.
|
|
#
¿
Jun 22, 2012 17:23
|
|
|
Meh. For the last couple of weeks I've noticed light--very light--spotting. I'm at ~21 weeks. I've been writing it off as just ordinary pregnancy stuff, but do you figure I should at least call my OB's office and ask about it? ...Okay, probably answered my own question, it's not like calling and asking is some crazy thing to do. Anyone else having this, though? I don't remember any kind of spotting with my first pregnancy.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 1, 2012 23:38
|
|
|
Most cats can jump over baby gates. Is the grouchy old one less mobile, though? An arthritic cat might have a harder time. Is it possible to set things up so that your older cat can stay more or less in a baby-free area (e.g. an upstairs litter box and water)? Otherwise, gates are totally awesome and let the cats decide when they've had enough baby. That's the really important thing. Make sure the cats can have plenty of space away from the stressful new baby, and obviously don't have cats and babies together unsupervised. Allergies: Is anyone in the family particularly prone to allergies? That could mean your baby is more likely to develop them. But for the most part, just keep up a good routine of vacuuming. (Which to be honest I did not do; my house is pretty much made of cat hair and my daughter didn't develop any cat allergies.) Scratching: My cats totally ignored my daughter until she was old enough to be rolling around on the floor, at which point they decided she was pretty cool to curl up with (or maybe they just liked the blankets she was on). Scratching didn't get to be an issue until she was around 18 months and discovered that she could do things we didn't want her to do (like grabbing cats' ears). I just clean scratches and give her a hug and tell her not to pull tails. If you can get your cats used to regular nail trims, or things like those Softpaws claw tips, that's great too.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 2, 2012 15:53
|
|
|
Amykinz posted:We have gotten so much mileage out of a baby swing. Em is 7 1/2 months now, and she still takes the majority of her naps in it. It's like a baby coma machine. God yes. This is pretty much what my daughter's first few months looked like:  And the Boppy pillows are great. We ended up with two--bought one, were given another--and that was pretty great because we could have one upstairs and one downstairs.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 6, 2012 14:44
|
|
|
Neither my daughter nor I ever got comfortable with any baby-wearing approaches--it was too hot for both of us, I couldn't sit comfortably or accomplish much, she wasn't really into being snugged up so tightly, I couldn't work out breastfeeding with her in any of the slings/carriers I had. I felt like a bit of a failure for not being an awesome baby-wearing mom, but eh. It's not for everyone. That said, I'll give it another try with Li'l Neo. It'll be winter, at least, so we won't be getting so hot and gross. I'm kind of uneasy about slings and very new babies too, though.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 9, 2012 00:54
|
|
|
dreamcatcherkwe posted:We held the baby while we ate dinner. I don't know why he'd be in the other room screaming bloody murder while you eat. Hold the baby. I think I would have gone mad if I didn't get to put my daughter down for a bit while I ate dinner. We put her in a swing chair in the corner, right next to the dining room table.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2012 17:34
|
|
|
Mr Darcy posted:Hence, put baby down for 5-10 mins, eat food and go back to looking after him. Makes sense to me.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 13, 2012 22:47
|
|
|
Yeah, I usually snacked while nursing or just holding her, and my husband and I did a lot of taking turns at dinner. But if that's not working I can definitely appreciate the need to sit down and eat a meal without a baby on hand. Sometimes it's nice to have a couple of minutes where you don't feel like some kind of baby-raising machine.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 14, 2012 01:43
|
|
|
Heh, yeah, I just always took my showers when my husband was home to take care of the baby. I didn't actually take her into the bathroom with me when she was pre-mobile, but she was a pretty chill baby about being put down for a little while.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 14, 2012 11:58
|
|
|
Ugh, I'm in kind of the same boat. I already have most of the baby stuff I need, at least, but I can't get anything organized because the baby room is currently being storage for all the stuff that's going to eventually move into the room under construction. I can't haul down the boxes of baby clothes and sort out the 0-3 month stuff, I can't haul up the baby swing and see if it still works, etc. My sympathies, Alterian.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 15, 2012 17:29
|
|
|
bamzilla posted:I had a baby this morning at 12:08am. Pushed for 10 minutes he was 7lbs 12.6oz and 20.5" tall. He's breastfeeding like a pro and has already peed on himself. Holy smokes! Congrats, Bamzilla.
|
|
#
¿
Jul 24, 2012 15:07
|
|
|
Alterian posted:Also, if your wife is unaware, its a trans-vaginal ultrasound so be prepared for that! Indeed. It can be a little weird doing that with someone watching (even your husband) and presumably it's a little weird for the husband as well. The OB may also do a pelvic exam, which is another thing that can be a little weird with an audience. The "oh my gosh we really are pregnant" thing makes up for a lot of it, at least.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 6, 2012 01:59
|
|
|
Yeah, changing color sounds like more than the usual swollen feet. Give the nurse a call, anyway?
|
|
#
¿
Aug 8, 2012 01:56
|
|
|
That certainly sounds like labor is on its way. Man, most of that never happened with me. When my daughter was born, my water broke at 37 weeks but I was barely 1cm dilated and she hadn't dropped down at all. Not even sure about effacement. I was having contractions, though.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 9, 2012 23:53
|
|
|
sheri posted:How long/many weeks pregnant were all of you before you started to "feel" pregnant? I think I started to feel generally lousy around 5-6 weeks. Oh, first trimester, how I do not miss thee.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 14, 2012 12:50
|
|
|
sheri posted:So, where do I start? When did you all set up your first appointment with your doctor? What are some good week by week books to read? What is a good site or source of information that tells you the things you really should avoid doing/eating/using and stuff like that? Congrats! Hopefully by the time you're moving, you'll have set things up with a doctor and can ask them ahead of time about painting and lifting. I'd call them right away. They'll likely wait until you're 7-8 weeks along to see you, but once you're their patient you can always ask them questions. I've had to do a fair amount of moderate lifting all summer. It's not an automatic no-no. Listen to your body, like MoCookies says: if something feels bad, don't do it. Even quite early in pregnancy your ligaments start loosening and abdominal muscles can be sensitive. So take breaks, use your legs and not your back, keep hydrated. Stick to boxes and lighter furniture if you can, as much for the sake of protecting your back as anything else. To be honest, with my second pregnancy I've been grateful for the opportunity to haul things around a bit--I know how much harder it will be to get things done in another few weeks and I've been relishing the times when I do feel okay and can get poo poo done. Here's a page on pregnancy and paint: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/paintexposure.html Here's their page on exercise. Moving house is obviously anything but recreational, but it gives you a sense of what kinds of activities to use care with: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/pregnancyhealth/exerciseguidelines.html
|
|
#
¿
Aug 14, 2012 19:47
|
|
|
glug posted:Any parents recently go through this, and what was your thinking on this? We're expecting a boy, and--like Alterian--I'm leaving the final decision to my husband. His family is Jewish and we both want our kids to feel like they can have access to that part of their background. But on the other hand, my husband isn't religiously observant and neither am I, and there isn't really any other reason to do it. We've both sort of assumed that we were going to go the circumcision route but the last time I brought it up my husband said "hmm, gee, I really should learn more about it." I am honestly okay either way. I hope there can be a non-terrible discussion about this since I could use more information myself. e. Heh, Alterian's right about not bringing it up. I don't have any stories of non-internet arguments but it is so not something I'm laying out for discussion with anyone but my husband and the doctor. Andrias Scheuchzeri fucked around with this message at 21:19 on Aug 21, 2012 |
|
#
¿
Aug 21, 2012 21:16
|
|
|
bamzilla posted:There is no evidence that states circumcision is necessary in infants so we did not do it. Also, leaving it up to your husband is ridiculous. It's an informed decision that both parents should be part of. I don't think anyone here is talking about "leaving it up to the husband" without discussion or thought of their own. In my family's case, he's the one with a more pertinent religious and cultural interest. I don't feel strongly either way (or rather, I can give weight to reasons on either side) but when it comes down to it "how Jewish" our children should be is a question I think he should have more say in. Right now, I'm the one making the latkes and brushing up on Passover theology but I don't want to co-opt his background.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 21, 2012 22:43
|
|
|
hookerbot 5000 posted:As regards to sex and circumcision, I don't really get what you would do with a circumcised penis as the foreskin seems quite a necessary part of the whole process. My husband says it just involves a lot more lube. Huh? You do the same thing with a circumcised penis as you do with an uncut one.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 22, 2012 12:25
|
|
|
I'm sorry your OB is blowing you off, CravingSolace. Mine is kind of like that too--one of the reasons I stuck with him for my second pregnancy is that everyone else in that office is extremely nice and helpful. Do they have a nurse you can call for questions and advice? This time around I know to call and talk to the nurse. On the subject of contractions--yeah, I didn't know I was having contractions until I was in the hospital when my water broke and they showed me on a monitor. It just felt like I needed to have a bowel movement. I'd been up all night with "indigestion." I gather that's pretty common for the early phase of labor.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2012 13:29
|
|
|
FengShuiNinja posted:All of the pregnancy staff said 'oh, fainting is normal'. What the gently caress. I mean...part of me is amused by the horrible image of a world where pregnant women are routinely flopping over in a faint every few days, but what the gently caress.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 24, 2012 15:59
|
|
|
A bit of cramping and muscular pain can also be normal, too. As long as it's not severe or in combination with the kind of flow bamzilla mentions it's generally nothing scary.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2012 17:07
|
|
|
|
| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 21:09 |
|
|
Folks who have had pelvic/back pain--did you try any kind of support belts? Did they do any good? Did you wait for recommendations from your doctor, or did you just figure "dang, my pelvis and back hurt, let me try this?" My back is getting bad again, and just now after walking around the block (seriously, that's all it took) I started getting some pain in the front/pubic bone area as well. I haven't really asked my doctor or the nurses about it. ...premature birth is sounding better and better. Oh man, I feel way too huge and tired and achy to be only 29 weeks along.
|
|
#
¿
Aug 26, 2012 20:00
|
|