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JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Speaking of dumb Pepsi commercials, I think very little compares to the horrible alien kid thing they had with The Phantom Menace.

drat it, I am getting physically mad just looking at these, again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlU4D4BMgXM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9kmFTTxucE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhKtlRBZTsE

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greatn
Nov 15, 2006

by Lowtax


raditts posted:

Is there supposed to be a door to that place, or was it walled over to stop the contamination from spreading?

Every night Randy Savage would burst through it, creating a Randy Savage shaped hole, instructing the patrons to snap into a Slim Jim.

Bloody Hedgehog
Dec 12, 2003

Gotta nuke something.


raditts posted:

Is there supposed to be a door to that place, or was it walled over to stop the contamination from spreading?

Pretty much. The health department was worried that Pastamania might run wild on you, and they were concerned that people wouldn't know what to do.

404GoonNotFound
Aug 6, 2006

The McRib is back!?!?


raditts posted:

Is there supposed to be a door to that place, or was it walled over to stop the contamination from spreading?

Judging by the paint degradation it looks like one poor Hulkamaniac tried to Kool-Aid Man Shockmaster that thing, brother.

FuzzySkinner
May 23, 2012



Choco1980 posted:

Aww fooey, it cut out the best part at the end. A little toy robot comes walking in on the group of ladies, and one picks it up laughing...
"Oh...this one was a NICE robot....THIS TIME!!"
Freeze frame on her worried face.

god I forgot to post the original.

Yeah, it's such a dead on satire of Colonial Penn it's scary.

I keep seeing the Colonial Penn Ads, and I keep cracking up thinking of that SNL skit.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

greatn posted:

Every night Randy Savage would burst through it, creating a Randy Savage shaped hole, instructing the patrons to snap into a Slim Jim.

Until that ill-fated day when he tried to launch himself through the wall with the momentum of his Jeep, I presume.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost

raditts posted:

Is there supposed to be a door to that place, or was it walled over to stop the contamination from spreading?

Someone bought the sign after the restaurant closed and stuck it in a vacant alley.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Toffile posted:

Someone bought the sign after the restaurant closed and stuck it in a vacant alley.

Was that "someone" the Hulkster himself?

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

They want to murder you in a well!
Seems a bit harsh, but
apparently they want to,
it says here on this card.


I can't take fast food commercials anymore. Everyone in the McDonald's universe is a hip, special snowflake who's just so "with it" or "wacky" and always unreasonably loud in some way. Everyone in the Burger King universe is a complete dummo that is just fascinated with the idea of food, and that food being a price. Everyone in the Wendy's universe, whether they eat at Wendy's or not, is an absolute rear end in a top hat who judges their social worth by the appeal of their lunch. What's sad is that they've been this way for awhile, which means somebody is responding positively to them.


There are also radio commercials for this sandwich place called Jimmy John's that I've never heard of before this year. Apparently their selling point is the speed at which they make and deliver sandwiches. So, of course, all of the commercials are people talking quickly about how quick their sandwich arrived, and it's a bit grating after the first few times. HOWEVER, there is one that I have a soft spot for due to my love of dad jokes. It's two guys talking about how to make the whole sandwich process faster, and one suggests online delivery. When asked how one would deliver sandwiches over the internet, he responds, "Easy. In bytes." I still laugh every time.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Jimmy Johns isn't bad. Their whole thing is pretty much standard sandwiches, just that they deliver.

The weird thing about Wendy's commercials is that they refilmed one, almost exactly the same just slightly different. Its the flatbread hipster one where instead of taking pictures of the Wendy's girl and sandwich now he's taking video (so instead of Instagram he's using Vine.) They also did a different take on the whole "sharing it with my taste buds" punchline that makes it come off a little less grating.

Sash!
Mar 16, 2001



Jimmy John's cornerstones are basic sandwiches, a goofy sense of humor, and delivery drives that are blazed out of their minds.

If you order Jimmy John's and the delivery does not arrive in 1984 Honda Accord with body panels from at least two other Accords and leaving a Cheech and Chong-like contrail of weed smoke, it may not be an actual Jimmy John's delivery driver and you should act with caution.

SpacePig
Apr 4, 2007

They want to murder you in a well!
Seems a bit harsh, but
apparently they want to,
it says here on this card.


muscles like this? posted:

The weird thing about Wendy's commercials is that they refilmed one, almost exactly the same just slightly different. Its the flatbread hipster one where instead of taking pictures of the Wendy's girl and sandwich now he's taking video (so instead of Instagram he's using Vine.) They also did a different take on the whole "sharing it with my taste buds" punchline that makes it come off a little less grating.

I thought it seemed really familiar, but completely different. How was the original taste buds joke different? I honestly don't remember.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



She just said it in a different tone that made it come across more that she was making fun of the guy than being jokey.

Timby
Dec 23, 2006

Your mother!


Toffile posted:

Someone bought the sign after the restaurant closed and stuck it in a vacant alley.

Correct. The actual Pastamania restaurant itself was in the Mall of America, of all places.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003




Did they serve 24 inch noodles, brother?

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty


Sash! posted:

Jimmy John's cornerstones are basic sandwiches, a goofy sense of humor, and delivery drives that are blazed out of their minds.

If you order Jimmy John's and the delivery does not arrive in 1984 Honda Accord with body panels from at least two other Accords and leaving a Cheech and Chong-like contrail of weed smoke, it may not be an actual Jimmy John's delivery driver and you should act with caution.

This man tells the truth. Also, the secret to their speed is that they're basically subway without the customization complexity. They're all pretty much just one kind of coldcut or the other, so it takes like two minutes to get your food out the door. You want your food cooked? Go someplace else, jackass.

greatn
Nov 15, 2006

by Lowtax


My friend refuses to eat at Jimmy John's because in a commercial for it when we were in college, they show a guy slicing and making a sandwich without wearing gloves.

Notgothic
May 24, 2003

Thanks for the input, Jeff!

JediTalentAgent posted:

Speaking of dumb Pepsi commercials, I think very little compares to the horrible alien kid thing they had with The Phantom Menace.

drat it, I am getting physically mad just looking at these, again...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlU4D4BMgXM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9kmFTTxucE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nhKtlRBZTsE

Aw man, I love Billy West but he has a lot to answer for.

I remember my mom considered having a whole set of 24 Star Wars commemorative cans for about 15 minutes, before realizing how dumb that idea was.

Grassy Knowles
Apr 4, 2003

Oh, oh, telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight


Choco1980 posted:

This man tells the truth. Also, the secret to their speed is that they're basically subway without the customization complexity. They're all pretty much just one kind of coldcut or the other, so it takes like two minutes to get your food out the door. You want your food cooked? Go someplace else, jackass.

They also do bike delivery in more condensed populations--I used to order delivery at the JJ's and compete with the biker, when it was my friend, and the loser had to provide the intoxicant (usually whisky/bourbon or weed). I rarely won, but I'm a much better cyclist for it. This was over half a decade ago, I don't know if franchises still can get away with this stuff, but going off my pizza delivery guys, I'm guessing yes.

(You can also order bread separate and cook the meat yourself, making it like a Papa Murphy's with delivery for sandwiches). Once again, haven't lived in a JJ's delivery area for years.

Apparently Jimmy Johns, Milios, and Erbert & Gerberts are all founded by cousins who don't get along--according to employees of all three. But yes, those ads are stupid, and be happy you don't have to deal with the fairly racist Japanese businessman Jimmy Johns TV ads.

Redeye Flight
Mar 26, 2010
I liked it--it was witty enough and a lot more impressive than I was expecting for a girl's toy cartoon. So I thought, "Hmm. I'm on Something Awful. I don't see a thread for this anywhere, but other people might like it--it's not like it would be the first cartoon for kids that SA's taken a shine to." So I made a real earnest thread and put it up in TV/IV. And I was both right and wrong, because the forum blew up and fell over, and the thread got raided to shit by FYAD, and in like I think two weeks the show was banned outright because people kept causing fucking drama.


Choco1980 posted:

This man tells the truth. Also, the secret to their speed is that they're basically subway without the customization complexity. They're all pretty much just one kind of coldcut or the other, so it takes like two minutes to get your food out the door. You want your food cooked? Go someplace else, jackass.

I ate Jimmy John's nonstop in college since there was a restaurant literally across the street from the campus and two blocks from the dorms. The lack of customization is a huge help, but their real secret is their assembly line style--all the portions of meat, cheese, veggies, basically everything but the bread and sauces has been preseparated with wax paper. When they get an order, the sandwich is literally slapped together, sauce/extra condiments applied, and that poo poo's ready to go.

Add that to free infinite refills and staying open to 3 AM on weekend nights, and they were a college student's dream. Jimmy John's helped turn my GPA around.

Alfred P. Pseudonym
May 29, 2006

And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8


My cable provider, SuddenLink, has been running a pretty great one lately. I can't find a video, but it opens with a 911 operator taking a call from a child.

"I notice you're calling from a cellular phone. Can you tell me your address so we can help you?"
"I don't know... I live next to Joey"

Then it goes into a spiel about how 911 can't help you unless you purchase a land line from SuddenLink. The scare tactics... they're beautiful.

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:

My cable provider, SuddenLink, has been running a pretty great one lately. I can't find a video, but it opens with a 911 operator taking a call from a child.

"I notice you're calling from a cellular phone. Can you tell me your address so we can help you?"
"I don't know... I live next to Joey"

Then it goes into a spiel about how 911 can't help you unless you purchase a land line from SuddenLink. The scare tactics... they're beautiful.

Haven't cell phones been required to be 911 compliant for years now?

computer parts
Nov 18, 2010

PLEASE CLAP

muscles like this? posted:

Haven't cell phones been required to be 911 compliant for years now?

Yes, but they have some bullshit reasoning, see:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwsjHpD9cLg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvKKtBQfUos

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



I've seen an ad a lot recently for one of those nurse training schools and its pretty normal for most of it but during the what you'll learn montage there's a shot with a creepy human robot lying on a bed. I guess its supposed to be a learning tool or something but it just looks really creepy.

Young Freud
Nov 25, 2006



muscles like this? posted:

Haven't cell phones been required to be 911 compliant for years now?

Not only that but the FCC and telecoms rolled out Enhanced 911 in the last five years that allows emergency services to pull your location from the embedded GPS in your cell or use radiolocation data from the cell towers. This can actually even quicker than land lines, since responders first have to determine your number from the phone network, then cross-reference it from a Automatic Location Information database.

As well, most PSAPs and dispatchers can now receive text messages as part of their normal calls, which is helpful if you're in an area of poor reception or deaf, since you would have to go through a TTY service.

Vicas
Dec 9, 2009

Sweet tricks, mom.


Notgothic posted:

Aw man, I love Billy West but he has a lot to answer for.

I remember my mom considered having a whole set of 24 Star Wars commemorative cans for about 15 minutes, before realizing how dumb that idea was.

He's in a lot of commercials, actually. I'm pretty sure he's still the Honey Nut Cheerios bee, but I haven't been watching many commercials lately

Rirse
May 6, 2006




Really hate the car commercial where it switch between various bad music with a bunch of people dancing in the street.

Marvin_Gardens
May 25, 2005



Rirse posted:

Really hate the car commercial where it switch between various bad music with a bunch of people dancing in the street.

oh word? Soundgarden and the theme from "Beverly Hills Cop" are now bad music? why don't you post your iTunes playlist chuckles

( it's a dumb ad but I think most of the music is good)

Rirse
May 6, 2006




Marvin_Gardens posted:

oh word? Soundgarden and the theme from "Beverly Hills Cop" are now bad music? why don't you post your iTunes playlist chuckles

( it's a dumb ad but I think most of the music is good)

I honestly don't even pay attention to what songs are playing in the ad. It just really annoying hearing the music jump from one to the other

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

The Corolla ad is actually a decent concept but having it play during literally every football ad break gets old real loving fast.

Rirse
May 6, 2006




Benne posted:

The Corolla ad is actually a decent concept but having it play during literally every football ad break gets old real loving fast.

Yeah that pretty much the issue. The songs in the ad are good, but amount of times this ad is played makes them annoying to hear, especially when your not paying attention to the tv and just suddenly hearing a bunch of song jumping around.

raditts
Feb 21, 2001

The Kwanzaa Bot is here to protect me.

Marvin_Gardens posted:

oh word? Soundgarden and the theme from "Beverly Hills Cop" are now bad music? why don't you post your iTunes playlist chuckles

( it's a dumb ad but I think most of the music is good)

You have to admit that "Rusty Cage" is a pretty poor choice of music for your car ad.

ElectricSheep
Jan 14, 2006

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


Rirse posted:

Really hate the car commercial where it switch between various bad music with a bunch of people dancing in the street.

Dancing in the street?

BaronVonVaderham
Jul 31, 2011

At the beginning of your upkeep, draw a card if it was illegitimate.


I think you mean this.

SamuraiFoochs
Jan 16, 2007



Grimey Drawer

BaronVonVaderham posted:

I think you mean this.

I have no loving idea why this makes me laugh so hard every time I see it. I think it might be the most unintentionally(?) homoerotic thing I have ever seen, and I watch a shitload of pro wrestling. Also, Firefox spell check acknowledges shitload as a word. Brilliant.

I didn't hate the Lumia ad with the kids like everyone else when I first saw it, but now when I hear "I am a veggie, I am so tasty, and I am filled with vitamins and minerals" I pretty much want to punch something. As for local commercials, any commercial for this place:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ig6PWMLiHtk I loving hate the kid that mushmouths "ERRYBODY RAHDS" and they play the clip in EVERY COMMERCIAL.

Tupping Liberty
Mar 17, 2008

Never cross an introvert.


Some great Ingmar Bergman inspired It's Always Sunny promos. All of them: http://www.indiewire.com/article/in...in-philadelphia

My favorites:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLJ0NkH4ayk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNPu_C2xkE0

muscles like this!
Jan 17, 2005



I was just watching AMC's HD channel and during one commercial it started playing an ad that was in 4:3 and instead of black bars on the side of the screen they put MORE ads in. So they were advertising during their advertising.

DrBouvenstein
Feb 28, 2007

I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.


muscles like this? posted:

I was just watching AMC's HD channel and during one commercial it started playing an ad that was in 4:3 and instead of black bars on the side of the screen they put MORE ads in. So they were advertising during their advertising.

Clever girl.

squarerandom
Mar 24, 2007

Obviously you're not a golfer.

muscles like this? posted:

I was just watching AMC's HD channel and during one commercial it started playing an ad that was in 4:3 and instead of black bars on the side of the screen they put MORE ads in. So they were advertising during their advertising.

Fox Sports 1 does this DURING SHOWS. We were watching the USC game last week, good drive, kinda important, all of a sudden screen shrinks and it's an all text ad with the truck and text moving around.

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SpookyLizard
Feb 17, 2009


God do these Kmart ads with the rapping children such hate and rage in me.

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