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Vin BioEthanol posted:Hope he doesn't get me a structured-settlement but if so there's a song with a cure for that too. It's your money, and you need cash now!!
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Dec 7, 2013 07:56
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There was a local commercial that ran forever for a book store (and music and comics and video games and and and) that didn't advertise a number, but their address. TWENTY-SEVEN SEVENTEEN COVERT AVENUE, across from McDonalds! Their ad hasn't run in years but I still remember that. THOUSANDS! CD's CASETTES EVEN RECORDS!
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Dec 7, 2013 10:01
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Choco1980 posted:It's your money, and you need cash now!! gently caress you and your ultra-cheesy overacted faux opera commercials, J.G. Wentworth. gently caress, you.
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Dec 7, 2013 11:22
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McSpanky posted:gently caress you and your ultra-cheesy overacted faux opera commercials, J.G. Wentworth. gently caress, you. It's so pathetic that he appears in his own commercials. He clearly is not too cheap to hire actors (like local business owners who appear in their own commercials) so the only reason he does it is that he thinks the public considers him a celebrity and enjoys seeing him on TV.
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Dec 7, 2013 13:58
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McSpanky posted:gently caress you and your ultra-cheesy overacted faux opera commercials, J.G. Wentworth. gently caress, you. How much do they gently caress you over with those deals anyway?
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Dec 7, 2013 14:04
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Mister Kingdom posted:How much do they gently caress you over with those deals anyway? Usually the way settlements work is that you're paid $X per month for however long (say 5 years). What they'll do is talk to the company, and have them give you $Y which might be greater than $X but they only have to pay it once. Then they probably skim 10% off so you may or may not actually get more than you were getting in a single month. e: based on this an example might be "Get $500/month for the next 35 years" or "Get $50,000 now, minus 10%".
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Dec 7, 2013 14:14
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Am I the only one seeing a cascade of falling vibrators in this commercial? The product even has "chubby" in the name... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4UFfSpJ_-Y
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Dec 7, 2013 16:02
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ILL ON PZONES posted:It's so pathetic that he appears in his own commercials. He clearly is not too cheap to hire actors (like local business owners who appear in their own commercials) so the only reason he does it is that he thinks the public considers him a celebrity and enjoys seeing him on TV. Well, originally his commercials were just him sitting at a desk talking about the service. The thing I find crazy about the whole thing is that there are enough structured settlements/pay outs that they're able to make money from it.
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Dec 7, 2013 16:39
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This most recent microsoft commercial bothers me - the one where a lady takes her chromebook to a pawnshop and they tell her that it's worthless.. First they say that the chromebook doesn't even have windows or office - which is silly, since it's a google OS... and then they go on to say "without wifi, it's practically worthless" - which allows an interpretation that a chromebook doesn't even have WiFi capabilities. I feel like the commercial works to trick the uninformed, rather than inform them  .
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Dec 7, 2013 17:59
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computer parts posted:Usually the way settlements work is that you're paid $X per month for however long (say 5 years). Huh, I thought it was a literal lowball buyout, like "You get a settlement of X distributed over such and such long term. We'll buy that settlement from you for like, 40% of the total payout right now, and they'll start paying us instead."
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Dec 7, 2013 18:30
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Peanut President posted:There was a local commercial that ran forever for a book store (and music and comics and video games and and and) that didn't advertise a number, but their address. That reminds me of this lovely DC Comics commercial that all the local comic shops would use in the '90s. Even then I thought Lobo on Botox saying "THESE AINT YER DADDYS COMICS FANBOY" was pretty lame. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9XhC0WB0aw
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Dec 7, 2013 18:41
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raditts posted:That reminds me of this lovely DC Comics commercial that all the local comic shops would use in the '90s. Think Comic Carnival (which I think has all but died out in Indiana) used that same Lobo commercial too.
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Dec 7, 2013 18:54
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Comics Unlimited around here used to have that very same ad so we can thank DC for that instead of some local yokels.
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Dec 7, 2013 19:56
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Cage posted:Here in western/upstate NY we have a law firm called Cellino & Barnes. For the past 15 years or so they had a jingle which was just them singing their phone number, "Eight five four, twen-ty twenty". They recently changed their phone number to 888-8888 but they didnt change the beat of the jingle at all, so the song is awkward because its just a bunch of eights. Are they trying to compete with the really annoying limo/taxi company. Dial 7 seven times! Now with irritating hip hop song version.
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Dec 7, 2013 20:19
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Choco1980 posted:Huh, I thought it was a literal lowball buyout, like "You get a settlement of X distributed over such and such long term. We'll buy that settlement from you for like, 40% of the total payout right now, and they'll start paying us instead." That's exactly what it is. This American Life did a show on them focusing on lottery winners.
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Dec 7, 2013 20:55
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errad posted:I feel like the commercial works to trick the uninformed, rather than inform them advertising.txt
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Dec 7, 2013 21:23
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raditts posted:That reminds me of this lovely DC Comics commercial that all the local comic shops would use in the '90s. A local shop here, Fun4All, was still using the commercial in like, 2006.
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Dec 7, 2013 22:54
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Back in my hometown of Pittsburgh, there's a commercial that is a semi-universal alert that it is Christmas time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3NhDtfZmd0 I believe it may be the oldest commercial in continuous use anywhere in the US. It first aired in 1982.
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Dec 8, 2013 03:53
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I saw Catching Fire the other day, and I'm so glad the preroll let me know how that terrible "Dipshits fighting over taking pictures at a school play" commercial was made.
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Dec 8, 2013 04:39
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There's a jewelry ad that's animated and older, I believe in the north east and from the 60's.
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Dec 8, 2013 04:57
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Kaizoku posted:There's a jewelry ad that's animated and older, I believe in the north east and from the 60's. There's one from Oklahoma too that's way old, I think I posted it somewhere earlier in the thread.
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Dec 8, 2013 04:59
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Sash! posted:Back in my hometown of Pittsburgh, there's a commercial that is a semi-universal alert that it is Christmas time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3QjTIm-vSKg That's the oldest one still running according to Guinness.
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Dec 8, 2013 15:04
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The Ford Fusion commercials with little girls acting like adults is really grating. "I don't do sugar" and "My carbon footprint is like *makes small motion with hands*" from a nasally little kid is the opposite of precocious. Add in an annoying elf "that's a no-hander!" and you end up wondering why it runs on Hulu every bloody break.
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Dec 8, 2013 21:08
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Man, I've been hearing some e-cig commercials on the radio, and it's amazing how aggressively they're marketing them in ways that literally aren't legal with actual cigarettes. I guess it's just weird hearing them at all, since cig companies can't do it, really.
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Dec 8, 2013 23:41
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Vicas posted:Man, I've been hearing some e-cig commercials on the radio, and it's amazing how aggressively they're marketing them in ways that literally aren't legal with actual cigarettes. I guess it's just weird hearing them at all, since cig companies can't do it, really. I unironically can't wait for them to fall under the same legislation as real cigarettes. Places are already banning them because the mist is irritating to people, all it takes is one study that says that huffing unregulated chemical water is uniquely harmful or that it makes kids think smoking is OK we won't have to deal with people shoving their smoky robo-dicks in our faces anymore.
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Dec 9, 2013 00:07
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Edit: Nope.
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Dec 9, 2013 00:21
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...of SCIENCE! posted:I unironically can't wait for them to fall under the same legislation as real cigarettes. Places are already banning them because the mist is irritating to people, all it takes is one study that says that huffing unregulated chemical water is uniquely harmful or that it makes kids think smoking is OK we won't have to deal with people shoving their smoky robo-dicks in our faces anymore. I'm one of those people. They claim it's "just water vapor", but there is no way your lungs are 100% efficiently removing EVERYTHING. There are a number of guys at my local gaming store I frequent that use them, and every time I develop a severe headache and my lungs are on fire. I hate that the burden of proof is on me that they are causing a problem, but thankfully the store owner uses one himself and immediately banned them the second he got the first complaint. EDIT: So I don't double post.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_8jegIbJ64 "I read on an ipaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad?" That two seconds of audio in this commercial is the pure, distilled, unadulterated essence of what makes Apple users unbearable to the rest of the world. BaronVonVaderham fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Dec 9, 2013 |
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Dec 9, 2013 02:04
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Sure the ipad is on, but with the loving brightness all the way down. That commercials is so loving dumb, it says its hidden cameras then who the hell are they talking to? They also sound like the people you see in infomercials, like you expect them to start talking about how good HD sun glasses are in a moment. God I hate that loving commercial.
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Dec 9, 2013 07:56
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raditts posted:There's one from Oklahoma too that's way old, I think I posted it somewhere earlier in the thread. BC Clark, running since 1956 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LJBB65r-9o
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Dec 9, 2013 08:28
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:BC Clark, running since 1956 That's the jewelry ad I was referencing earlier; thought it was the northeast, guess it's OK.
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Dec 9, 2013 12:50
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...of SCIENCE! posted:I unironically can't wait for them to fall under the same legislation as real cigarettes. Places are already banning them because the mist is irritating to people, all it takes is one study that says that huffing unregulated chemical water is uniquely harmful or that it makes kids think smoking is OK we won't have to deal with people shoving their smoky robo-dicks in our faces anymore. I love my e-cig, but would never dream of using it in public and I'm with you on the regulation thing. Mine doesn't even use nicotine anymore (because I slowly removed it) but all I can think of is "If I used this in public someone might think it's real and try to light up themselves and then everyone will hate me." That by itself is enough reason to me to not let it be allowed in public. Those commercials make us normal e-cig users (I hate the term "vapers") look like smug douchebags. Also thanks to Jenny McCarthy watch the drat things turn out to cause Autism.
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Dec 9, 2013 14:05
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Vicas posted:Man, I've been hearing some e-cig commercials on the radio, and it's amazing how aggressively they're marketing them in ways that literally aren't legal with actual cigarettes. I guess it's just weird hearing them at all, since cig companies can't do it, really. There's one with a lady who says "I smoked for years" and her terrible voice makes me think she's underselling
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Dec 9, 2013 15:37
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...of SCIENCE! posted:I unironically can't wait for them to fall under the same legislation as real cigarettes. Places are already banning them because the mist is irritating to people, all it takes is one study that says that huffing unregulated chemical water is uniquely harmful or that it makes kids think smoking is OK we won't have to deal with people shoving their smoky robo-dicks in our faces anymore. I can't wait for coffee and soda to fall under the same legislative schemes as alcohol. Unlicensed and irresponsible stimulant use is very dangerous, and the smells (especially coffee) are super irritating and give me migraines. Its also disgustingly obnoxious the way people walk around with their little meth-mugs all around the office, bugging me for reports like a burn-out jonsing for a fix - even as they noisily slurp more of their liquid drug! Really though, people shouldn't be allowed to put any drugs into their bodies at all, unless its medicinal. Bonus content: Oh yeah, and this commercial for Bounty really pisses me off. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFQVXPdNHzY This father knows that his little daughter is going to gently caress up this blender operation from the get-go. We know that because he's all "Oh poo poo get back to a safe distance, baby! Move the computer!" Yet, despite knowing that his daughter is going to spew batter all over the walls and ceiling he just allows it to happen. You're a loving parent! Teach her how to do it properly or don't let her use the loving blender! Involve her in a less messy part of this baking operation! I made cookies with my niece and nephew of 3 and 7 years old over the Thanksgiving holiday and they didn't make as big a mess because I did my goddamn supervisory job. LeJackal fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Dec 9, 2013 |
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Dec 9, 2013 16:11
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Choco1980 posted:Huh, I thought it was a literal lowball buyout, like "You get a settlement of X distributed over such and such long term. We'll buy that settlement from you for like, 40% of the total payout right now, and they'll start paying us instead." And yet, the customers would probably get better terms by going to a bank and getting a loan with a monthly payment exactly equal to their cash settlement amount. It would also build their credit. But JG Wentworth's average customer probably has poor credit and so doesn't have that option. Yet another predatory non-bank bank, just like payday loans. Cage posted:Here in western/upstate NY we have a law firm called Cellino & Barnes. For the past 15 years or so they had a jingle which was just them singing their phone number, "Eight five four, twen-ty twenty". They recently changed their phone number to 888-8888 but they didnt change the beat of the jingle at all, so the song is awkward because its just a bunch of eights. There's another that has the number 444-4444. It goes something like: "Hurt in a car? Call William Matar. Dial 4." "Just 4?" "A bunch of 4s!" 
PhilippAchtel fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Dec 9, 2013 |
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Dec 9, 2013 17:00
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That reminds me of a joke from the cartoon show Rocko's Modern Life when they talked about a phone number for "Heck" "Just dial 5 5 5 AND THEN A BUNCH OF SIXES!"
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Dec 9, 2013 17:33
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ElwoodCuse posted:There's one with a lady who says "I smoked for years" and her terrible voice makes me think she's underselling Yeah, that one really sticks out to me Her chain smoker voice really starts to come out at "Nobody can tell you what to do! You can smoke anywhere!"
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Dec 9, 2013 17:41
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LeJackal posted:I can't wait for coffee and soda to fall under the same legislative schemes as alcohol. Unlicensed and irresponsible stimulant use is very dangerous, and the smells (especially coffee) are super irritating and give me migraines. Its also disgustingly obnoxious the way people walk around with their little meth-mugs all around the office, bugging me for reports like a burn-out jonsing for a fix - even as they noisily slurp more of their liquid drug! Is this a serious or joke post? I really can't tell.
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Dec 9, 2013 19:21
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The Verizon ads where people can't recognize an outline of the loving US bother the poo poo out of me. I don't know, a dancer? Yes, a dancer that has a foot that looks just like Florida. I'd like to know what the pictures the people are really looking at actually look like, assuming they aren't just completely scripted anyway.
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Dec 9, 2013 19:33
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Somehow I think it was both staged and the exact same photos they were showing. However, it is not unrealistic for people not to recognize a complex shape that is only 30% drawn.
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Dec 9, 2013 19:35
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There's also the fact that those coverage maps are extremely misleading and inaccurate.
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Dec 9, 2013 21:12
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