Was It Really That Bad? Let's watch badly reviewed movies!

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Was It Really That Bad? Let's watch badly reviewed movies!

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bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Robert Denby posted:

I saw this for the first time a couple of years ago and it's every bit as bad as it's reputation suggests. Instead of having focus, the movie is a string of sub-plots that lazily flow together, there's a ton of corny jokes, and the kid. The loving kid. This is a character put in purely for shock value who is a 10-12 year old boy, a drug dealer's right hand man, who not only shoots and kills people, but also garrotes Nancy Allen, while saying, "I hope you choke, bitch!" Not even Uwe Boll's "Postal" stooped that loving low. It's a mean, repulsive movie. I will say this... the stunts are alright, the stop-motion is good on it's own, and it does have that single funny scene with the failed Robocop replacements, but other than that it's an unpleasant mess. Oh, and Irvin Kershner went on record as saying it's the reason he never directed another movie.

You missed the best part about the kid. At the end when he is dying they try to make you feel sympathy for him. It was really jarring and misplaced.

# ¿ Sep 28, 2011 20:58

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 16:29

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Here is how TAS mocked Batman and Robin. Look at the sign
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-9bf50OZn0

# ¿ Oct 23, 2011 03:06

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

JediTalentAgent posted:

I really do almost wish Ebert would go back and an sort of take another look at films that he reviewed poorly in the past and give them another go, too. He and Roeper, post 9/11, really had a lot of very hateful and disgusted reviews of films based on their content.

Take Zoolander, where a lot of Ebert's hate comes from the fact that he accuses films like it for making the rest of the world hate America. Or the Powerpuff Girls Movie, where he says the movie is tasteless post-9/11.

First up North

# ¿ Nov 8, 2011 21:05

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Snak posted:

It's the Crow, but with a cat. That's the entire premise of "Catwoman"

Also with out it being good

# ¿ Nov 23, 2011 02:34

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

JediTalentAgent posted:

I need to find the 90s Psycho remake and watch it as someone who never really ever watched the original film in its entirety, but I don't think a single video store in my town actually has it.

To remind people and help remember them this movie from about a dozen years ago: It was a shot-for-shot remake of the original Hitchcock film that was a box office flop and savaged by critics for daring to remake the classic film. It was notorious for about a year, then people just never spoke about it again.

But, given that we're in the midst of a decade of films where remakes are a LOT more common and accepted by audiences/critics, does it stand on its own merits if you divorce it from the previous film and go into it without any preconceived ideas?

Remakes have always been popular. Psycho was salvaged due to it being a shot for shot remake and just being boring.

# ¿ Nov 23, 2011 06:55

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

We also get a cow having one leg shot off

# ¿ Dec 3, 2011 04:47

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Behonkiss posted:

Not really. Battlefield Earth has numerous elements that make it fun to watch because you can laugh at them. Last Airbender is done in a way that just makes it a boring slog aside from a few action bits.

Well like Battlefield amazing gifs came out of it like the earth bending

# ¿ Dec 4, 2011 02:22

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Madkal posted:

The transformation effects were pretty revolutionary and still look great today.

One werewolf movie that I keep going back and forward on with the "was it really that bad" is Silver Bullet.

The movie is clearly meant to be a parody, but it tries have it both ways. Part comedy (the bog scene which is pretty much a spoof of early horror films) and the brutal killings, especially of children. It feels like the movie can't decide if it wants to be a good werewolf movie or a good spoof movie. The tone changes so much that it feels like 2 movies spliced into one.
Plus: motorcycle wheelchair!

I love that movie but hate myself for it since Landis is the director and I can not forgive him for what he did.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2011 06:23

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Vagabundo posted:

Would you care to elaborate on that? Are you talking about what happened on the Twilight Zone Movie set with Vic Morrow?

Yep and the two kids.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2011 07:39

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Snak posted:

Found this quote on wikipedia from on interview by Giulia D'Agnolo Vallan:

Which to me sounds like "even though I was in charge and wasn't properly accounting for what was going on when pyrotechnics were involved some FX guy pulled the trigger so it wasn't my fault. They didn't even try to pin it on him."
gently caress you John Landis.

Ya the fact that he acted that he was not responsible is a major reason why it is unforgivable.

# ¿ Dec 13, 2011 09:15

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

FreakyZoid posted:

That's what its message is meant to be (and that's the message of the comic), but taking Kick-rear end as a whole movie, rather then picking bits out, the message is "being a hero is rad". You get the girl, people think you're cool, you get jetpacks, you save the city from the evil crime lord.

Also that first person fight section is loving awful.

Still better then Mark Miller's comic

# ¿ Jan 7, 2012 10:24

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Xiahou Dun posted:

I know you are joking, but I'm going to believe that Jeremy Irons owns a castle all the same.

His new favorite hobby is cackling atop the ramparts during thunderstorms.

He does own castles, also that line is not a joke

# ¿ Jan 11, 2012 22:01

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Blompkin posted:

The short story 'Apt Pupil' was a lot better than the movie. It was back when Stephen King was insane in an entertaining way, rather than in a boring way (like everything he's written since 2000 on). Some things weren't meant to be stretched into a feature length movie.

I also liked Demolition Man as a comedy, in the same way I liked the recent 'Green Hornet'. Both are quite funny, with the villain (Wesley Snipes/Christoph Waltz) really adding a lot to the film.

Children of the Corn frustrates me, because I absolutely love the first 2/3 of it. Everything up to when the wife is kidnapped. Everything after that disintegrates into ridiculousness, and the movie's main bad-rear end is taken down by an average middle aged guy in seconds.

What the movie really is about, to me, is how scary older kids seem when you're young. When you're in grade school, the high-schoolers might as well be Greek Gods, with a perfect match of power and emotional instability. When you're a kid, the skinny 15 year old who carries a pocket knife everywhere might as well be the devil himself.

This movie really works best when seen as a kid (which is when I first saw it), to fully see how scary the killer teenagers can be. Then of course the last 1/3 is just adults fixing everything and magic monsters, which is a drat shame.

In the book the kids win. Also I am guessing that Apt Pupil was made into a film due to two other short stories from the same book being made into classic films.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2012 17:02

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

The Notorious ZSB posted:

The Happening is awful. For a concept that should be terrifying its just not. Nothing about any of the performances and their constant need to say "ITS HAPPENING" inspires the fear it was meant to.

The Mist is rated at 74% on RT, and I think that movie deserves like a 30% as another film about a mysterious disaster that came out around the same time. Clearly doesn't qualify for this thread as its a "good" movie masquerading as an awful one, but it was really that bad for a well reviewed film.

The Happening came out a year after The Mist.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2012 15:47

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Vakal posted:

Hills 1 is fun to watch as a prequel to Breaking Bad in order to find out how Walter Jr got so messed up.

You do know that the actor is like that in real life? He has mild cerebral palsy

# ¿ Mar 27, 2012 14:29

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

NoneMoreNegative posted:

eh, I don't find the concept of AvP terrible, it's just the actual final product was so Nuts 'n' Gum

Two lovely movies all due to a joke.

# ¿ May 17, 2012 17:05

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Dr. Video Games 0055 posted:

Yeah, the problem with making a "Was it Really That Good?" thread is I guarantee it'll be filled with people bashing popular and well-liked movies for a bunch of arbitrary reasons. At least with films that get a bad rep there is room for debate and nobody gets too pissy. With talk of films with a good reputation it will bring out the sperglords en masse (especially if someone brings up )

Edit: Anyways, to contribute something to this thread there was an interesting argument I thought up of the other day with regards to Alien3. We all know that Alien and Aliens were both tough acts to follow for whomever directed Alien3. What I think everyone was trying to do (in terms of spirit) with Alien3's pre-production is to create something "different" or experimental. The example I was think of was Zelda after Link to the Past and Ocarina of Time (only thinking of console games). Both of those titles are considered amongst the greatest games of all time (and well deserved I should add). Instead of trying to one-up it, Nintendo made Majora's Mask which was so very different from any Zelda title with it's apocalyptic tone and twisted narrative.

Even Final Fantasy 8, following up the mega-hit Final Fantasy 7, was so damned different from any Final Fantasy title that people didn't know quite how to accept it. It was still well-received though.

What I'm getting at is that it seemed everyone decided it was better to make a different kind of Alien3 film focused on sacrifice. It's a shame Alien3 got screwed because if they made a different and borderline experimental film to conclude the trilogy it would have gotten people thinking and debating instead of bashing and excusing.

It is also the fact that they really did not have a script until filming, and that script was cobbled from a bunch of different scripts.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2012 23:49

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Dr. Video Games 0055 posted:

Yeah, Hook wasn't bad but I admit I haven't seen it in years (it should be the movie of the month on CD if it hasn't already). What I recall most of it, as mentioned, was it's incredibly elaborate practical sets and costumes which you just don't see in a post-CGI era much anymore.

Also Glenn Close and the boo box

# ¿ Jun 19, 2012 03:59

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

JediTalentAgent posted:

True enough. The 90s was really the era of the geeks coming into their own.

I even recall Harry talking about that cohosting gig, I think, and mentioning stuff that didn't fit in too well, either, like the fact that the cut a scene of him doing an imitation of Matthew Lillard.

That being said, I think there are times that when Harry is on the ball, he's been REALLY good with things and reviews and commentary. Other times, though, he let's a hyper fanboyism determine his review rather than being more objective and fair with it.

Then there are things like his Blade 2 review.

# ¿ Jul 6, 2012 14:20

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

achillesforever6 posted:

Doesn't he also play Table top games like Warhammer?

Also reads comics

# ¿ Sep 25, 2012 03:01

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Strange Matter posted:

I get Bicentennial Man, but how could anyone possibly spin What Dreams May Come into a goofy comedy?

Well they were able to turn a horribly depressing coming of age story into a light hearted fantasy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SvqEIKP4t8

# ¿ Jan 4, 2013 15:20

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Strange Matter posted:

It features Chris Kittan's finest performance.

His best performance was Santa Slays

# ¿ Jan 8, 2013 20:48

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

OldTennisCourt posted:

A View to a Kill (1985)
36% on RT

"This one, directed by John Glen, just follows the numbers, plodding from one unimaginative set piece to the next." David Kehr Chicago Reader

This is the actual music choice for the film
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGOe-KLc9QI

# ¿ Mar 18, 2013 02:50

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

DrVenkman posted:

I remember loving Live and Let Die until I watched it again recently as an Adult. Bond literally fucks the magic out of Jayne Seymour in that film.

Man With The Golden Gun was always one of my favourites but now I'm a little afraid to go back to it.

Lets not forget that he used her own magic in order to gently caress her. He tricked her by using her cards into loving him. Man with the Golden Gun has some good parts but the center piece chase is destroyed by two things, the fucken sheriff and the slide whistle.

# ¿ Mar 18, 2013 18:52

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

OldTennisCourt posted:

Madonna's theme for Die Another Day is widely considered one of, if not the worst Bond theme right? God drat that song is awful. Though it matches the movie quality wise.

Yes it is. Also the only thing worse then the theme is the remixed version that plays at the end.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2013 02:47

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Jedit posted:

And Adele's theme for Skyfall. I see now why she goes only by her given name; if I was singing that crap I wouldn't want to incriminate my family either.

You are in the minority for thinking this.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2013 18:38

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

OldTennisCourt posted:

I've heard arguments for You Only Live Twice as the best actually.

I think We have all the time in the world is the best.

# ¿ Mar 25, 2013 21:11

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

effectual posted:

Why did Bond movies start making custom crooner songs anyway? The first couple just have orchestral songs. Also Austin Powers gets a lot of credit with me for using "Secret Agent Man" during the climax.

Goldfinger is the one which had a custom crooner and that film became the blueprint for all the following Bonds.

# ¿ Mar 26, 2013 14:14

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Praesil posted:

I had to go back and check - Batman Forever was right on the heels of The Mask and Ace Ventura, so you can see how Jim Carrey brought that entire act into this movie.

I have no answer for what Tommy Lee Jones was doing. "I'm going to flip this coin until it lands on tails, then shoot something". That's...not how it works.

And to be fair, that Batmobile deserved to be blown up.

hen there was the ending in which Batman totally kills him after telling Robin the who movie do not kill.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2013 13:13

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

OldTennisCourt posted:

To be fair, that was a weird thing in all of the Batman films up till the Dark Knight. Batman straight up murders a dude in Returns, He kills Two Face in Forever, he kinda sorta lets Joker die in 89 Batman and he lets Ra's die in Begins.

Ya but in those was he going on about how he does not not kill? I seem to remember a couple of speeches in which he tells Dick that they don't kill.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2013 13:22

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Darthemed posted:

I rewatched the 1989 Batman last night with a friend, and it may have the highest kill count for Batman of any of the films. He blows up the entire chemical factory, with henchmen (and presumably some off-screen janitors and scientists) still in it, and his plan for that seemed to be hoping the Joker would be in there at the time, before the moonlight line got dropped and made it personal. Plus he throws the biggest henchman in the belfry down the stair shaft (onto the fallen bell?) like it's no big thing.

Then there's the torpedoes and machine guns on the Batplane.

Then he blows up that clown in Returns.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2013 19:47

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

OldTennisCourt posted:

This would actually be a great idea for a thread. What's the first movie that taught you as a child "Wow...movies can be bad?"

For me that would be Avengers or Celtic Pride. Then really reinforced with Mr. Deeds.

# ¿ Apr 25, 2013 14:27

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

...of SCIENCE! posted:

I imagine Kurt Wimmer hunched over a typewriter, brow furred with thought, then suddenly he slams his fist down in triumph and says "...'opiate of the masses'? PERFECT!" and then starts to bang out a script about a literal opiate being used to control the populace, pausing only when the urge to pantomime sweet gun-kata moves in his seat is too great to contain.

Kurt Wimmer is the real-life version of the EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT guy.

I thought he was a guy who just read Brave New World and 1984 and decided to make them stupid.

# ¿ Apr 28, 2013 04:12

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

OldTennisCourt posted:

If I recall correctly, Brock was sympathetic in the comic too a point. He was an rear end in a top hat photographer who faked photos but Peter took him down way harder then he probably needed to. Instead of saying "Brock, maybe stop acting like a dick head and share shots with Peter" thereby maybe gaining some support in the Bugle, he decided to be a dick and totally ruin Brock's life. This leads to Venom loving HATING Parker's guts. I agree that Brock should have been in movie 2, but if Venom was forced on him, Raimi could have cut the Sandman stuff down waaaaaaaay more, totally excised the whole Green Goblin thing and focused on building Brock up.

Brock also touched on something the comics never really dealt with, which is the aftereffects of Spider-Man's actions. Spidey gets to throw down a sick burn to Eddie Brock and laugh while he gets fired, but we get to see how that poo poo works out. Eddie's life is loving ruined. He will never get a job as a photographer again, poo poo he was right about to kill himself all because Spider-Man decided to lay down some 'justice'. So now Eddie gets his chance to give back what he got.

Nope that is not the case. In the comics Brock is a reporter and he faked a story about the Sin Eater. Soon after his story came out Spider-man revealed who the real one is, and caused him to be fired. So he really hated Spider-man and when he was at his lowest went to a church before committing suicide. However, at that same time Spider-man got rid of the Symbiote. It was drawn to him due to his hatred of Spider-man. He really did not hate Peter until he became Venom.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2013 02:57

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

LtKenFrankenstein posted:

I love BASEketball. It's incredibly stupid, but for every gag that doesn't work there's three that just slay.

Re: Venom, Venom was only lame because at that time, superhero comics writers were aiming pretty squarely for the lowest-common-denominator. The story where he first shows up is very cool though, and at its core it's a great idea for a villain (also, as OneThousandMonkeys pointed out, killer character design).

Funny enough right now the best Spider-man comics are Scarlet Spider-man and Venom. Shows that even horrible 90 poo poo can be made awesome.

bobkatt013 fucked around with this message at 15:30 on Apr 29, 2013

# ¿ Apr 29, 2013 15:28

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

davidspackage posted:

"Ships with mutants for slave labor" sounds like the same kind of insultingly heavy-handed racism allegory that led to the line "I don't answer to my slave name", though.

That is something from the comics and there is also this

# ¿ Apr 30, 2013 14:45

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Jedit posted:

No, Kitty has a perfectly legitimate bitch there because Stevie Hunter isn't a mutant. The same kind of bigotry directed at blacks was accompanied by subjugation, violence and murder, so for Stevie to brush it off as "just words" just because it doesn't apply to her is incredibly stupid.

I think people are misreading Magneto if they think he wants natural humans around so mutants will have someone to be superior to. Magneto believes that mutants are superior to humans and will eventually supplant them. If humanity forced his hand by making it "them or us", he would have no problem with accelerating that process.

Yes it is important to remember that earlier in the story two mutant kids where murdered and then hung up, just for the crime of being a mutant.

# ¿ Apr 30, 2013 23:56

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

AvesPKS posted:

I think from now on every bad movie should have one Daily Show correspondent. Then I'm fine with them.

It helps when the daily show correspondent has a podcast and makes fun of the films he does.

# ¿ May 1, 2013 15:11

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

Whenever Anakin is talked about in the oiginal film it is of a great man, who was a great hero and friend. They talk about how Darth Vadar killed all that was good in him, not he was an rear end in a top hat his entire life and then started killing kids.

# ¿ May 2, 2013 20:53

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# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 16:29

bobkatt013: Oct 8, 2006; Youâre telling me Peter Parker is ...... Spider-man!?

davidspackage posted:

I seem to remember Nemesis is the one where the director could not even get Levar Burton's name right.

He also seemed to think the Geordi is an alien.

# ¿ May 8, 2013 21:44

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Was It Really That Bad? Let's watch badly reviewed movies!

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