Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

This picture doesn't really do it justice, but it was a Saturn wagon, with a GIANT fart cannon. I'd never seen anyone paint drum brakes before though, so it amused me enough that I had to grab a pic. Best part was that the dudes gf in the passenger seat saw me openly laughing at his car, and immediately died from embarassment.

Two awful things about this pic:
1) why are they still driving that
2) why havent I cleaned my windows

InitialDave posted:

Stay away from tranny prostitutes, they spend all day neutral dropping for anyone with . Leave foul-smelling sticky crap all over the drat place, too.

# ¿ Dec 3, 2012 00:10

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 13:05

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Giblet Plus! posted:

There is a statistical correlation between driving a luxury car and not stopping for pedestrians at crosswalks, and other rear end in a top hat driving habits.

I've always felt like this was the case, but figured it was a case of confirmation bias screwing with me. I'd love to see a link to a study or something if you know of one.

# ¿ Dec 20, 2012 19:01

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

PainterofCrap posted:

Seconding this. I had it happen on my '67 Cadillac Deville convertible at 45MPH & it wasn't pretty.

Happened in my `03 celica. Single most terrifying moment of my life. For a split second, I thought I was dead.

The astute observers will notice tape on the edge of where the hood would be. It got backed into in a parking lot, and wouldn't latch fully, and was just stuck on the second latch. I already knew the car was gonna end up dead on that island (gently caress guam and the navy) so i made myself an impromptu "air dam" out of tape. It worked surprisingly well for over a year, until... BANG

# ¿ Dec 22, 2012 12:47

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Maker Of Shoes posted:

You poo poo yourself, right? Pretty sure I would have poo poo myself.

astoundingly, no. I managed to avoid any stupid swerving or brake-slamming, and once I realized I wasn't dead, I put my foot on the brake and slowed it down while praying that I didn't hit anything. One thing that this picture doesnt show that makes it even more fun, is that the car had a sunroof. you can see in the pic i posted where the hood is bent back from the impact with the roof. well, it hit hard enough when it did that the top slapped the sunroof and showered me with broken glass. so one minute im driving along at some miles per hour, then i cant see anything right as theres a loud metallic bang and the sound of broken glass. Probably the scariest thing to ever happen to me. Top 5 at least.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2012 21:13

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

IOwnCalculus posted:

It's supposedly the rear end-end of the new Corvette. We'll know for sure next month.

# ¿ Dec 26, 2012 22:58

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

I finally saw one in person a few months ago. I had seen them on top gear, and in pictures on the internet, but I couldn't let myself believe that it looked as bad in real life as it did in print. All the hate had to be hyperbole or 911 purists being... well, 911 purists.

Nope, it really is that ugly.

# ¿ Dec 28, 2012 04:22

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

rocket_350 posted:

Near top right I think I see an early eighties third gen Trans Am. It looks like it has the hood with the off centre bulge.

god, this really makes me hate the fact that my car is silver. When you see a picture like this and realize just how little variation there is in car colors its a bit depressing.

# ¿ Jan 5, 2013 23:12

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Viggen posted:

It's called Sun Green. It's Silver, and it's Green, and it's AWESOME!

I hate to tell you this, but your car...

... is silver :negative:

# ¿ Jan 6, 2013 15:53

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Kenshin posted:

That looks like a car the redneck version of a ricer would drive.

I imagine the owner being a PFC in the Army, where he's been for the past five years because he can't get promoted to Cpl.

Wait, no, it says USAAF on it, so no the Army. Airman, perhaps?

I hope that this isn't from too long ago, but since it says "P-51" on the side and has little angry mouth/teeth like a ye olde fighter plane, its referring to the United States Army Air Force, which is what the USAF was when planes were still new and people hadn't realized they needed their own branch of service.

preemptively: :goonsay:

# ¿ Feb 1, 2013 01:18

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Refind Chaos posted:

[RANT]I guess mine is less a pic image, and more of a general rant, but gently caress all of it. Growing up on a ranch, I hate seeing people driving pick-up trucks. We actually had a small ranch, and we built houses on the side. We, my family, had one pick-up truck,and one 4wd vehicle. Both of these met ALL of our needs. Whether hauling cattle or picking up supplies for building a whole goddman house. We needed nothing more than a full-size pick-up or a standard SUV of the time (1980-2000 Chevy Blazer) None of that trailBlazer BS. Everything we needed to do to run a 200+ Acre ranch we could do with those two vehicles. Now a days you see loving crew cab construction vehicles running around doing nothing more than loving looking "stylish" cuz "I might need to move a sofa or something someday."

I know this makes me a bit pissy, but gently caress all I grew up with pick-ups and suvs, and I loving hate driving the loving things cuz frankly they are work vehicles to me. I really don't get the US' addiction to these vehicles since they are a pain in the rear end to drive, and horrible to look at.[/RANT]

Sorry I don't have any images, but today I saw no less than two vehicles deserving of being in this thread. One had the rear passenger side quarter panel held on with seeminly only a ratcheted belt, and the other was two vehicles, both fords, with no less than 6 inch lifts, that have obviously never seen dirt much less mud, and giant truck nuts.

Enjoy.
_{(Seen on the back of a trailer being pulled by an equally "modified" truck in good old Lakeland, FL)}

# ¿ Mar 9, 2013 23:55

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Cenodoxus posted:

Well in that case, wouldn't they pass? No combustion, no emissions.

Stick some monitors in the windshield and this might just pass for one of those arcade simulators.

Power/weight ratio is all that matters :colbert:

# ¿ Mar 10, 2013 22:13

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Saw this in a Publix parking lot. drat near dropped my groceries trying to get my phone out and snap this pic, but it was worth it.

# ¿ Mar 14, 2013 00:27

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

There's no loving way that doesn't violate some sort of regulation or code. If one of the myriad pieces of poo poo half assedly glued to that car falls off while in motion it's a fatality waiting to happen.

And of course it's from Florida :negative:

# ¿ Mar 17, 2013 04:49

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

I can deal with the fact that idiots are amused by big rims, but why bother putting a v8 into something that isn't ever going to go fast? It's just a goddamn waste.

# ¿ Mar 23, 2013 00:33

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Fatty_McLumpkin posted:

had to drive behind this poo poo this morning.

Plates are from FL, Shot in VA.. the gently caress you need a raised truck like that for in FL

I stared at the decal on the back window for a solid 10 minutes.. it was some kind of helicopter or some stupid bullshit. I'd also like to note the glossy finish on the rear diff with the bald eagle painted on that had an american flag overlayed.

I live in FL. Specifically, Lakeland, FL, which is about halfway between Tampa and Orlando. While there are people who like to use their trucks for mudding, 90% of the lifted trucks you see will either be giant brolifts that someone got their daddy to buy for them, or things like this:

# ¿ Apr 4, 2013 01:06

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

I had to double check that this was the terrible car stuff thread, since those transmission videos were so neat.

Being rich is almost like a handicap :smug:

# ¿ Apr 13, 2013 22:52

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

nnnnghhhhgnnngh posted:

I just want to know why there's a PA speaker under the back bumper.

Not shown: LCD screen swinging wildly from a rope tied to the rearview mirror.

Goddamnit, Florida. If I weren't such an internet dwelling hermit I could probably create a thread for nothing other than "terrible poo poo Floridians do" :smith:

# ¿ Apr 29, 2013 23:14

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Welcome to Florida, where "because I was tweeked out and gently caress YOU" is a perfectly valid reason to do things to your car.

Can't really see, but the driver did look like he had spent the better part of his life cramming meth into his face.

# ¿ May 5, 2013 02:50

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

An Audi r8 with a giant spoiler supporting it's luggage rack. 50/50 whether this is the right thread or not. I made my choice where to post it.

Source.

# ¿ May 6, 2013 01:36

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

kastein posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Pj8QKTvRTQ

Cliffs: ferrari parked in a handicap spot by a non handicapped (except mentally, it seems) owner, pee pranked by some dude and assaulted for it.

People like this are the reason that even if I could afford to buy a ferrari, I wouldn't.

# ¿ May 14, 2013 00:55

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Rev. Dr. Moses P. Lester posted:

The half open pop ups make it look either really tired or really high.

# ¿ Jul 29, 2013 02:08

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

88h88 posted:

This is a friend's car. It's been in his possession under a week and just look at it's little face...

There's a small part of me that thinks it would be neat to learn how to drift. Given that my NB is my only car, this picture is why I haven't tried to teach myself.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2013 01:17

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

`Nemesis posted:

I saw this exact same monstrosity in St Pete, Florida heading north on 275 a week or so ago. For scale, I was in my miata and his bumpers were above the roof of my car. Well above. I'm seriously surprised this thing doesn't spend most of it's time on it's side.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2014 22:03

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Octopus Magic posted:

Haha yeah man, Nyan cat is the funnies, maybe there'll be the grumpy cat on the hood?! I'll be ROFLing all day long!!!

Not liking something is fine and all, but unless you think your opinion is objective fact then not liking something doesn't make it awful. It looks like a well done job. Sure, it's retarded, but it's not awful.

And that donk from the last page wasn't anywhere near awful. I live in the south. I've seen awful donks. That wasn't one of them.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 05:54

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

People being easily offended by a guy complaining about people being easily offended :allears:

Terrible car stuff: I finally saw a cross cabriolet yesterday, in something like this color, and pictures don't do it justice. The color was awful. The shape was awful. The old lady behind the wheel was driving it awfully (5mph under the limit in the left lane). I cannot fathom how people at Nissan saw a drawing/concept sketch of that and greenlit it.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2017 18:01

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Not pictured: trim rattling bass and lovely, lovely reggaeton. My favorite part is that the obviously fake side exhaust isnt even lined up (probably thanks to aforementioned bass).

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 20:34

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

madeintaipei posted:

What exactly do you expect from (I'm guessing) Tampa; home of fine automotive developments such as the donk and the whistle tip?

Yup, Tampa, near USF because ofc. Spoting terrible cars in that area is kinda cheating though, there's shittons of horribly body kitted shitboxes running around there.

Frozen Pizza Party posted:

Bubb Rubb would like to have a word about the whistle tips and their Oakland origins

Jesus, this takes me back. A friend burnt a cd of a bunch of random early internet meme music back in like 2003 (back when physical media was still a thing :corsair:

) that had a Bubb Rubb song on it. Every time someone reminds me of this I go looking for it, and still havent found it. It doesnt appear to be on youtube. It starts out "The latest craze is driving parents and entire neighborhoods crazy c-c-c-c-c-c-crazy" and then goes into the song that uses all the soundbites. It's the best version I've heard, and all the other ones seem lovely in comparison. The fact that a song from a decade ago and a half ago still haunts me is the terrible car stuff.

grumplestiltzkin fucked around with this message at 00:14 on Jun 9, 2017

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 00:12

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

angryrobots posted:

This one?

Holy mother of god, it is. I didn't for a second think someone would be able to identify it based on my terrible description, but here we are. If you ever find yourself in or near west central Florida, I will buy you several beers.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 18:53

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

angryrobots posted:

That may be the strangest thing I've gotten a beer for, but if you're near Bradenton fl, I may take you up on that some time. (And being there for some extended family stuff, I'll probably need a beer)

That's a little bit of a drive but it gives me an excuse to put the top down on the miata and go across the skyway. I don't have PMs but if you email me at mrem86 at gmail we can talk more without doxxing tf out of each other.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2017 22:17

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

http://i.imgur.com/Z1TZmeZ.mp4

I have no words for this.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2017 15:10

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

http://i.imgur.com/42v3COD.mp4

:psyduck:

# ¿ Jul 13, 2017 19:21

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 13:05

grumplestiltzkin: Jun 7, 2012; Ass, gas, or grass. No one rides for free.

Deteriorata posted:

Doesn't look like a hovercraft, though.

Nobody else may have noticed this but I got a huge laugh out of this.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2017 21:05

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Automotive Insanity > Terrible Car Stuff - Im sorry but in this thread we measure cargo capacity in shrimp