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GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
D, I sacrifice the unwilling Basscop in Asherah's name, a fish for the fish god. Just kidding, I'd never. I love ya Basscop!

GoneWithTheTornado posted:

What shall we do we the Drunken sailor, early in the morning?
Ritual sacrifice.

Voliun posted:

D What's the absolute worst it could happen dealing with fish ?
See Otac... Then make sacrifices unto him.

But seriously let's try to be a little more careful in this game, Diogines explicitly told us that comedy options and risky moves can end the game early. So let us stuff ourselves with forbidden fruit, worship all the dark gods, whilst openly sinning against the one god and juggling necronomicons.

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GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Voting F, she won't suddenly stop being our father's slave if we drag our uncle into this, even if he gets his rear end kicked over this now that just means he's going to be angrier later and end up killing her as a reprisal. Also, we don't even know how religious our uncle is, he might just start beating her down too, maybe we're getting the biggest guy in the village to kill some poor slave girl.

Take responsibility for it, say we asked to have our hair cut and didn't know it was wrong.

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 03:31 on May 22, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009

Algid posted:

I'm going for F to divert dad's attention (watch how this causes us to suffer some sort of permanent debilitating injury).
Dad's more likely to give us some horrible injury for tattling than being a dumb ignorant kid, that deserves a shove maybe at worst we get a smack.

Tubgirl Cosplay posted:

Uh what in any of that implied the high priest of the village was going to get killed by his brother (-in-law?) over a slave girl? Stopping a fight doesn't mean 'murdering one or both of the participants'.

We have know idea how low on the social rung slaves are round here, or how big a blasphemy hair cutting is, we do know all other gods are demons to our people and our daddy's the priest. We have no clue what our dad and his brother argue about but it may not be religion, and if that's the case, witches get stitches is something they'll agree on.

We'll have to live our whole childhood with this guy let's not try to get him to resent us through all of it.

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 05:10 on May 22, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009

the_steve posted:

G. "Save Jalitha!" While pointing frantically

Voting with this. Maybe our 'willpower' comes through stronger on our collective voices agreeing like on the MINE votes, or maybe it's all random chance, this could be a good indicator.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
If [G] fails it's just gonna break down to us becoming a sobbering twitching mess like in the [A] vote but why fight for that? If we picked this choice why buckle now? Just like with the staff and mirrors that didn't get used last game, we're right in front of the power we wanted, use it!

Use child time to have our imaginary friend an alligator named Kebes council us as to why being a big cry baby isn't helpful or constructive at all.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Our goal should be to become a hardened hero of the high seas, Narod Sinbad!
1:
A. Father- Yes father, tell me all of these secrect rites yes father, yes father,(while caressing a knife) yes father...
B. Uncle Jorah- Tell me of this gentle daughter Ninveh, oh she's a big fish too? Is she hot though?
E. Jalitha- Tell me of these giants and their fantastical treasures.
C. Uncle Pagam- Look we're probably gonna go through a lot of boats on this adventure.
H. Alone, swimming in the ocean- for when the boats sink.
G. Alone in the forest- not spending enough time in the woods creeping on other kids is gonna get us eaten by a cyclops mark my words.
D. Mom- sorry ma baskets are for nerds, tell me all about rope though that sounds kinda cool
F. Alone along the beach- exploring is for chumps aimlessly wandering is what all the cool kids do.

2:
L. Yes, we believe in every god we've told about, now where do they keep their treasures?

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009

Canuck-Errant posted:

It's just Uncle Pagem, so it's not like it makes a difference :V

But.. but.. It's adventure on the high seas... BOATS!

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
You can't leave sharp dark god idols just lying around, someone could get hurt!

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
oxTerrier's plan is a good pro fish god plan. I'd also like to add an amendment that we save the hair, if we can, that's prime dark magic vodoo juju we'd be throwing out! Tell the king we want it for a toy something, wrap it with a bow or stick it on a doll, we're a weird kid he'll buy that.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
1B We need to establish a pecking order, no little shrimp is gonna tell us what to do! But yeah, still be nice to the kid.

2AE Let's talk with the King and Barky, the king treats us like an adult so we can ask him almost anything about the land's lore and geography of the world. And as a king's number two we wanna replace one day, Barkof is probably a guy who get's poo poo done, let's ask him about his adventures.


DIO THE LAST E SHOULD BE H!

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
3.Yes, but since we're a dumb savage kid let's ask for a dress like our mother, the outsiders will have a laugh and say 'oh sweetie no... here's a pair of pants and a shirt, it's what men wear.' That way everybody stays in good humor and we don't look rude.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
How many vill cities are there, how many kings, and how many sons do you have?

What do you eat in the city if not fish and other people?

Could you teach us to fight with that big knife King Dad?

Could you tell us some stories of our namesake Ekindu, what was his final fate, how did his story end?

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 13:48 on May 31, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Do you have to be a king to have great powers? Where do the powers come from?

What do the angels look like if they are not giants, what does El look like?

How old are you King Dad?

Is there more monsters in the city like the donkeys, have you seen or fought bigger monsters?

Can I get extra fingers?

Can you tell me a quick happy story of Ekindu?

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 16:25 on May 31, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Another round questions for Mr. Tudiya, does anything represent El an object, a symbol, or a creature?

What does Mr. Barkof do?

CAN I GET SIX FINGERS?!

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 17:43 on May 31, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Guys we need a number two as a king does, name the dog Barkof.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Much as I liked the idea of harassing and demeaning Barkof by naming a dog after him, Snarls Barkley is the best of the top picks, changing my vote.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Since we have the Holy Tooth and our pa got sworded, as far as everyone is concerned we're the high priest of Asherah now, but that doesn't mean we have to do things our dad's way. We can make a new cult religion and run it however we want, we can even change the core message to make it more appealing to the masses, because Asherah's hunger Leviathan's love is great!

My votes are to keep us safe for now, when we have our act together in the future all my votes will go to the fish lord.

(1.C) Cause, whoa man everything is so cool out here!

(2.E) If we pick him up we can walk around the camp in circles and keep Danny boy the safest, and nobody can get mad at us.

(3.H) If we lose sight of that fire, having no previous forest survival training with Pagam, we're gonna get lost.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
I think we only have super safe votes going so strong because half the people wanted a polarizing option to MURDER THE BOY. There has to be some middle ground to testing the fish lazer and murdering our friends. I'm pro murder fish, but I'm all for biding our time to adulthood and making cults of Asherah all over the land and not getting gutted immediately by Barkof, who you know is watching us.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
He may not be the god to help you, but he still may have power we can forcibly use. I think Asherah is Leviathan, meaning he's a dead old god killed by the angels, but like defeated titans, demon's, and your biblical monsters they never stay all the way dead and are always imprisoned and slumbering for the culture's doomsday warning, or volcano allegories, in our friend Asherah's case typhoons. What we have in our hands is a chunk of an uncaring, lazy but mondo powerful monstrosity that doesn't give a drat if we pray to it or use it like a tool.

Slightly relevant biblical Leviathan quotes: The sword that reaches him has no effect, nor does the spear or the dart or the javelin.
Iron he treats like straw and bronze like rotten wood. Nothing on earth is his equal—a creature without fear.
Just don't get bisected, we're on highlander invulnerability rules here people!

Voting E that we try and remember our way back, and Voting R that we fish magic up our way back as well.

I'm just worried that someone Barkof, come on you know the King's aid is gonna be a crazy ninja is gonna be witness to our heathen magic.

...Told y'all we get lost!

EDIT VOTING DOUBLE R since people are making double votes now I guess?!

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Jun 8, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
If we can't ask the Tudiya how old he is I don't think we can ask Ishamal, we should ask:
Why is your hair so grey and your skin so wrinkly?

Mr. Ishamal do you have any stories of Leviathan and the other fourth day creatures the angels slew, were any of them sea monsters?

Angela Christine posted:

He is a healthy old man. Our village had healthy old people.

Diogines posted:

"They ate the old..." -mom

You have no frame of reference to know how old people are supposed to get, nor could you count to sixty, but you have never seen a person older than their late 50s in the village.
He's the most grizzled person we've seen and we're gonna ask him whimsical childish questions gosh darnit! :colbert:

edit: We all forgot the most important question of all... What's your favorite color?

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 10:01 on Jun 11, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
There's only one way to deal with giant lizards... I say we Goldblum it!
C: Grab that fire!
A: Run like crazy!

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 06:27 on Jun 13, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
We gambled and used the power wrong, the only reason our "father" wasn't devoured was because he was useful to Asherah and constantly making tribute to him. We on the other hand are fresh meat untainted by cannibalism and we just gave the fish god a taste.

Maybe we could have made tribute of the lizards by stabbing them with the tooth, or maybe all the monsters of the forest were charging US to steal it's power.

Maybe there is an off shot chance he's calling us to him because he needs a new priest, did our father say something about meeting with or hearing Asherah once? More likely though we screwed something up and are being pulled into his gaping hell mouth.

As a necromancer sympathiser and a Horus sacrificer from last game, I'd feel guilty of any decision that has a chance to end another game, so I'm not gonna vote just suggest nicely to all the fellow Fish God lovers out there to let him go, we didn't utilize his power perfectly... it backfired... it's over.... He's gone. R.I.P. Asherah 2013. Go be a hungering abomination without us.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009

Ralith posted:

A, N, K: Pray to Sojenus, He Who Falls.

Sojenus god of falling, protect us so that we may fall forever.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009

A Terrible Person posted:

Voting F and O: We're not taking the cloak because we're instead joining Ishamal inside of it. We're going to lean on him for support while urging him to move as fast as we can manage, too.

I'm throwing my vote in with this, it's respectful to the old man, it's adorable, and nobody get's hypothermia!

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009

Trundel posted:

We should let everyone know what we've heard, and if my personal suspicions are correct the heores are already aware that we're sneaking off so we might as well play along with the facade.
You've swayed my vote, just not in the way you hoped!
If you're so sure they're already watching us then we have nothing to fear!

A & F, onward to adventure, but ya know knick some trees, drag the shaft of our spear in the dirt, leave a trail as per Ser Spook's plan.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Ask the half angel.

Who, what, and where is that music being produced from?

What did the 'person' that made you look like?

Where are we to your senses, do you see the tree line?

When was the last time you saw your creator by sun rises and sets? Many or can you count them off your hand?

Any people ever die in your presence and why?

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
His name is Art!

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
D. Examine the book, maybe like the statue it can force us to understand it, maybe it will explain everything in this room.
After we're through with the book hold the golden knife in your hand, then think of when the king first spoke your name Enkidel, visualise a symbol for your name and draw that onto the platform.



Crazy Idea Option: We dump the liquid and golden balls into the bird cup and put that on the fire plate.
Horrible Idea Option: Take the golden knife think of a symbol or merely the word Asherah and etch that onto the black tooth.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009

Hot Dog Day 80 posted:

B

And I only want to tell Tudiya

My vote as well, Barkof is gonna steal our flute and take it on a road show. We should be giving him the evil eye as much as possible to let him know we're on to him.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
K. I'm all for proving our worth to the king with intelligent legal discussions, if it infact turns out we're a slave.
This will make us look much less like a savage and have people see us in a new light.

H. Barkof, I just really want a conversation with the guy since we're headed down a road taking on a similar role to him as Danal's second, advisor, confidant, and bodyguard.

Diogines- It's been two years has anyone told us the final fate of Enkidu after we expressed interest on the caravan trip?
If it's something horrible can you tell it to us as a flashback of Keza spitting venom at us?

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
You guys really want to seek legal guidance from god?! Ya'll know he's just gonna plead the fifth.


Tudiya has never lied to us, always made time for us, and treated us like adults. Let's just ask him directly if we are a slave. While we're at it we can have a discussion about the flute.

I think we should say:
1:S. I want to serve Tudiya.... But I want it to be my choice to serve him!
2:B. Take this talk to Tudiya.

The temple of Melachim may be 'friendly' to slaves from our perspective but this could mean they are only treated to good rations and sleeping quarters. I already envision Bareen maybe unfairly using the slaves as soldiers and worship fuel to keep herself powerful and youthful. She likely has no reason or desire to free slaves. I not saying don't talk to her just to be careful, Tudiya has his reasons to hate her and the temple and they may be more than WRONG GODS.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
If Jorah was indeed our father I don't think our mother would have hesitated in telling us, she did love the man after all. I think we only linked ourselves to Asherah when we gave him a taste.

A lot of you are expecting there is even a town to go back to and rescue, the way we left it with everything going wild and stormy I believe Athar may be wiped off the world. Although with the way kings find places by being called to them, having a strong motivation to go back might be the only way to EVER find it again.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Drink and ask Ishamal: What was the final fate of Enkidu?


I don't wanna timeskip if making life hell for Lullaya isn't an option. If shaming him and delaying his marriage is I'm all for it.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Diogines I've some questions for you. Do we still have the arrow head around our neck, is it stone? We've trained a great deal with the bow, but are we even close fletchers yet?

If we still have the arrow head on us and find a stone we can make do for flint, if we have Snarls we have something to lead us, fetch firewood, and warn us of danger. I think we'd need a knife to any attempt to make a bow or fletchings though. This is all assuming of course we're thrown into the wilds, the item itself may make the test. We're so gonna regret not picking incense!

1.D, seems like the right thing to do on all fronts. It's the just thing to do for monkey and Danal, and it won't make Keza lash out at our mother.
2.I, I wonder if it would be against the "rules" :airquote: of the test if we told Snarls to pick an item, maybe he'll do it on his own. He is a smart dog after all.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
We should say We hate to think on an empty stomach, if only we had salty bread or jerky.

The angel will know this will only make us thirstier and give it to us.

GloriousDemon fucked around with this message at 20:48 on Sep 29, 2013

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Could you at least give my dog something to eat and drink?

Snarls Barkley is now his guest.

MINIVOTE: N. You made information a commodity Azzazel, tell me something you'd prefer to keep secret then I'll tell you.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
Azzazel could you empower my dog to speak as us mortals do? It would only make him worth more sentimentally to me.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
What if instead of all this scheming and wordplay we just hugged it out? What if we just got sentimental at Azzazel?

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
It really didn't occur to me Snarls could age out so soon, I just always was hoping for a trinket or a blessing so he'd be a badass warrior dog as long as we'd live or at least go the way of Bucephalus, Alexander the Great's horse, and get a city named after him after he passed.

1. A. We're a guest now it'd be rude not to drink the poison coconut.

2.D. I'd like it if we told him what we know of Ishamal, he'd share some stories as well, just for conversation sake.

3.Q. To be released from his death lands by having the forest brought to us, this might be a spacial distortion like in the ART dome. And maybe a reward of a magical weapon or trinket of novelty not practicality for catching his trick. We are to survive in the wilderness on our own merit, just ask him to get out of our way.

4. 10 Enkindel loves with all of his heart!

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GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009
If we wanna go the folk hero angle we should ask him to put water bearing plants That end up being cacti in all of his domain 'barren wastes'. This will totally piss him so we should make him promise to it before hand. It would even make sense for him to make them needley cause he's such a prankster.

1.D. We'll trust him more, but it's gonna cost him to trust us. :3:

2.Z. CACTI!

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