Billy the Mountain posted:

Now that he's been fired I might start telling some stories of the man I shall call Matt.

Maggot Monster posted:

I had a pretty good experience. However I can replicate his formula for you so you can DIY. Basically take your resume and every single time you mention something without specifics, add specific details. Seriously, a solid 99% of the work we did was him highlighting things in my resume and saying HOW MANY, HOW OFTEN, FOR WHO, WHEN? and me filling in the details for like 20 back and forths.

blackswordca posted:

Mr. Clark2 posted:

Got this in an email a little while ago:

"Lynn walked into the wall behind Claudia's desk. At approximately 1:40 today. Please let me know if you have this on video... Please please please"

blackswordca posted:

Just imaged my first SSD equipped computer with the WDS/MDW setup we have here.

Holy crap its fast

Windows imaged, applications installed maybe 10 minutes to do it. Just have to finish up some windows updates and its done.

So much for padding my timesheet with this setup.

GargleBlaster posted:

I now have too many push notification enabled devices. Someone sends me a tweet or whatever and it's a chorus of
"bing!"
"blabadoop!"
"bzzzzzz"
Really I should stop being lazy and sort it all out. Maybe just have push on the phone.

(I hope this isn't stretching the thread definition too much, I got used to "poo poo that pisses you off daily" being extremely flexible)

GargleBlaster posted:

Sounds like classic Android if I ever heard it. Nice to actually have alternative texting apps though.

The Macaroni posted:

The vendor informed us at first that this was a "narrow" problem

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

Can we talk about documentation for a sec?

I document everything I do in Evernote or a git repository, depending on what I'm doing. Everyone else I work with is horrible at documenting anything.

What do you document? How thoroughly do you document it? What are most people missing in recording changes that are being made?

GargleBlaster posted:

>Dials in through 5 nodes
>Hacks password
>Runs delete program
>Clicks on the one ending 232013
>Disconnects
>Claims 1700 credits



(Sorry, too much Uplink. Someone must've got the reference.. right?)

Kuros posted:

God dammit lady, you do not spill liquid on your $1500 laptop, frying it and then while I'm getting you a loaner ask me if IT will get you a $2500 Macbook Air.

Some loving stones you have.

MF_James posted:

You're going to punish them by working them for another 2 years? Seems like an OK punishment for them...

ShadowStalker posted:

Have to pay down my house before I leave. Just bored with this job and there's nowhere to go except for a few field management positions or move to our corporate office in Washington state (I do not want to move there). Whether this position opened up or not, I was leaving by December 2015. My old boss knew it already but I had a great relationship with him. He was actually the best boss I've ever had since I started working 18 years ago. Put more time and effort into my professional development than all my other bosses combined. He just made some bad decisions.

ShadowStalker posted:

No, the wife and I are moving 750 miles north to Northern Virginia in 2 years to be close to my family.

enotnert posted:

if we're talking wife tickets...

ratbert90 posted:

code:

try:
	if (Problem_Is_Not_Super_Complicated):
		google()
	else:
		Read_The_code()
exception:
	google( try_harder=true )

blackswordca posted:

So a new job opportunity call came in.


I got a call for a non- IT job to do dispatching work for a fuel company in the city. Gonna follow up with them tomorrow, but if i get it, im looking at a 60-75% pay increase plus real benefits.

Sab669 posted:

I don't think I'd be too mad if some adorable golden retriever puppy came up to my cube with a sheet of paper around his neck that read, "YOU'RE FIRED"

blackswordca posted:

So the client i support had one of their development contractors get a job in the states with Microsoft and he moved down there a few weeks ago. They need him, and only him for some reason to continue doing development work on this web app he was working on. They had me create a windows VM with no network drive access and had me figure out a way to restrict his access as much as possible so the data on our clients server cant be opened due to patriot act ( the clients exact wording). To keep the data he is allowed to access safe we need to restrict where he can work on it. They are going to write a clause in his contract specifying that the web data is to only be used on the virtual machine. The problem is they want me to come up with the wording of it. I've told them I cant advise them to do that, but they are insisting I provide it and so is my boss.

Comradephate posted:

The loaner I got from IT which they were nice enough to give me while they re-imaged my work laptop with Windows 8 was actually better than my work laptop.

Dilbert As gently caress posted:

This that piss me off? My own good faith in other people, and thinking "Oh yeah I am sure they did this important thing during setup"

nitrogen posted:

We used SKYPE until 2010.

Comradephate posted:

I would like for you to know that I wore flip flops and an Against Me! shirt to work on Tuesday.

ConfusedUs posted:

gently caress that. I work from home and I'm in my bath robe right now. And I'm more productive than any of my coworkers.

Agrikk posted:

Speaking of superstition, two of the most annoying things someone can say to me during a release is "How much longer?" and "How is it going?"

Potato Alley posted:

Your boxers must be pretty big for an entire server to fit into them

Sprechensiesexy posted:

I've been lurking this thread and the previous one but this ticket was a nice excuse to finally start posting:
Apparently my company has started taking terminations literally.

Crowley posted:

I've never heard it called anything but "beachball".

Asmodai_00 posted:

Dead Cow posted:

The other 20% I fix things by standing next to the computers all the time.

Volmarias posted:

"Why don't you put this effort into our relationship?!"

Crowley posted:

GreenNight posted:

New user: I need my mailbox limit bumped up, I can't do my job with only 1 gig.
Me: Sorry but company policy is 1 gig, no exceptions. Even the CEO only has a 1 gig mailbox.
New user: That's crazy. Let me talk to a few people because I'm important.
*crickets*

Happens a few times a year.

blackswordca posted:

I wont be doing anything until I get a cheque in my hand or some sort of reasonable arrangement is made.

blackswordca posted:

Its not a huge amount of money they owe me

SEKCobra posted:

Apparently I cant have any days off because as person with highest seniority I am the only one out of 4 who can keep things running. When I said I trust the next in line coworker, bossman said 'Youre just saying that to get your days off'. No fick you he is the only other capable person on my team the 2 guys working externally atm are way worse...

sfwarlock posted:

In other news, I've been notified I must take a drug test before reporting to work tomorrow, my only alternative being to resign. This oughta be interesting...

SEKCobra posted:

So I wanna try out DD-WRT, but there's no official version for my WRT54G3G, I found a thread claiming that you can just flash the WRT54G version, but there are like 500 Versions of the router and then the firmware.
Anyone know how to figure this out?

Inspector_71 posted:

I love when users ask you questions that simply don't make any sense no matter how you parse them. I had somebody this morning asking me about what IP address her e-mail was tied to, and if that could be the problem with her cloud syncing.

I don't even know where to begin responding to that sort of thing.

anthonypants posted:

As much as I want to know why Windows Help isn't working, or why he thinks Windows Help isn't working, or why he thinks that replacing the executables will fix things, the policy is that if they get admin rights, they lose support outside of a reimage. For some reason, they never want to do that when something breaks.

Inspector_71 posted:

but people seem to want an explanation as to why the answer is no.

wa27 posted:

A ticket came in,

Then maybe don't use your work emails for Linkedin if it's that big of problem?

tehloki posted:

Can you imagine the unrepentant ugliness of ladies' underwear designed to part in such a way to allow the wearer to piss without removing them

Volmarias posted:

They are clothing for your crotch. It defeats the entire point!