More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Sirotan posted:

Good news everyone! We no longer have an HR department.

You can't just say this and not spill the juicy details. Cough it up!

# ¿ Oct 9, 2013 17:27

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 06:06

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

dorkanoid posted:

Would that also kill Chrome?

If Chrome is a profile install, yes. Since it's running out of AppData as well.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2013 18:56

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

GargleBlaster posted:

Ah the pitfalls of sticking to a dirt cheap good-for-nothing antivirus for so long where the application hasn't been updated for over 2 years (took long enough to get a Windows 7 compatible version) and is threatening to disappear altogether. Now the boss has *finally* seen the light and stopped worshipping this crappy AV and is proposing to switch to another. But the problem is, the total annual cost for the lovely one is �200 and the total cost for every other in the world is ~�1000.

This of course led to a quick discussion with our line director, the finance guy. (Same one who refused to give me a rise after 5 years service, adoption of various additional projects and a glowing performance review). Who was horrified at the idea of a 5x increase in cost and says no, let's wait it out and see if something "presents itself".

Then he asked about the feasibility of pirating one

I know we're in financial difficulties, but geez. Still, this is the guy who is paid about 3-4x what I am, but borrows IT's ~10 year old digital camera every weekend because he's too tight fisted to buy his own.

This is a YOTJ if I've heard of one. Seriously. If they are too cheap to a) give you a raise and b) buy decent anti-virus, you need to bail.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2013 14:33

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

I believe it's because a lot of company sees IT as a "black hole" when it comes to profit.

Even though they don't seem to understand that IT is what's allowing them to MAKE that profit.

# ¿ Nov 1, 2013 19:54

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

T-Shaped posted:

I currently work at a non-profit and this morning has been fun. I took Monday as a mental health day to catch up on a lot of things, since work has been having a lot of trouble financially to the point of late paychecks and I've been looking to YOTJ as soon as possible.

I come in today. In the day i was gone, our HR Assistant quit and our only outreach person got fired. We're now down to 15 employees compared to the about 25-30 we had when I started.

Instead of cleaning up our server issues and doing prep for a new hire that's coming in a week, I'm now making fliers, doing social media postings, and I've been conscripted to be part of the grant writing team since I'm the only one here that "knows how to do it". Mind you, I'm the only IT/Sysadmin here.

Send help.

As an added bonus, the new hire is filling neither of those vacant positions whatsoever.

I think you should just quit right now and spend all your time YOTJing.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2013 21:46

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Commodore 64 posted:

The one where it locks people out of the web interface if they select the "beach" theme?

I would love to hear how the hell this happens.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2013 16:17

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

pixaal posted:

Guess what this is and what the ticket for it is?

Yes that is a pen inside a Power Supply fan. I got it out by beating the the PSU against a desk in anger, I honestly didn't expect it to work, but it came right out.

You work for a school?

# ¿ Dec 14, 2013 06:08

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Antioch posted:

I work at a Credit Union. Our dress code is 'business casual' for the most part, especially in IS. Most days it's khakis/dress pants and a button up shirt, ties are pretty rare except among the management types and the try-hards.

I've been freaking everyone out by wearing a tie every day so far this week.

I got ties for Christmas, and I like looking good. No I don't have a job interview.

I think the real problem is if the higher-ups sees that, they go "Hey, everyone should do that" and enforce a tie-policy.
No joke, if they ever did that here, I would be looking for another job. I hate ties with a burning passion.

# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 22:37

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Lum posted:

Ongoing theme I know, but this one is a little more odd than most. First the obligatory..

gently caress Printers!

gently caress Konica's lovely incomplete PostScript implementation in particular.

This is a system I set up 10 years ago, and still support. We're doing some slightly unusual stuff, but it's 100% valid PostScript Level 2. The postscript is generic, not targetted at any specific model. Over the years a variety of Ricoh printers have come and gone and it's carried on trucking just fine.

Then a Konica Minolta BizHub C754 turns up.

First problem was jobs that selected the input tray by paper type (e.g. coloured, plain, recycled etc.) got inconsistent results, I had to switch it to selecting trays by number, losing the ability to have two trays that contain the same paper type and seamlessly switch between them. I may have posted about this already but my memory is bad so here it is again.

Second one is easier to fix, but more annoying and wasteful. The Konica can't handle a job that switches from Duplex to Simplex and back to Duplex in the middle of the run, it simply ignores the switch and so prints the first page of the next document on the back of the single page document. Given that these documents contain highly sensitive personal information this is not good as if it goes unnoticed by the mail room staff, you end up with a document posted to Joe Bloggs where the back page (which is now the front) contains details for Jane Doe, which would result in pretty heavy fines if they actually got posted!

I'm curious to know how you fixed the second issue. We have a branch office with a Konica and they curse the person who signed the lease for it every day.

Oh, let me give my gently caress PRINTERS. We leased an all in one printer, HP 1522. What a clusterfuck of a printer.

The last "gently caress you" was that the 1522 will NOT work with the HP Universal driver. You print something out? You get one page and then an unhelpful "Memory is Low" error message.

Took me a day to figure out why it was throwing this error.

RadicalR fucked around with this message at 20:02 on Jan 28, 2014

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 19:59

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

nitrogen posted:

Westie, I dont want you to think this rant is pointed at you, but you did inspire it.

Why the gently caress are people so afraid of bugging vendors? Some folks at work are bending over backwards trying to placate a vendor who wants machines set up that will violate our PCI standards. I'm out of that argument, just waiting for someone to make a decision, but jeez.

I have another customer who has totally raped the gently caress out of their own environment trying to get some software installed. They refused to "bother" anyone at the vendor. I made a call (i'm not even a customer) and the guy on the phone gave me all the information I needed to get this done. 10 mins, and I had it working. They hosed around for 2 weeks.

Maybe it's just me, but when I give a bag of money to someone, I have no problems at all asking for help with their software, and yelling at them if I think they are full of poo poo.

I know plenty of my customers have no problems doing the same for me, and it's what i'm there for. I just never understood why people are afraid of vendors at all.

If I had to guess, they are afraid that the vendor will charge them an assload of money the next time the contact is up for renewal.

# ¿ Feb 10, 2014 04:30

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

DrAlexanderTobacco posted:

Seeing as we're speaking about MS Access, does anyone have any suggestions on how to avoid Access corruption due to loss of network connectivity? A user keeps getting the "You have lost connection to Microsoft Access" error message and the DB usually corrupts. We've disabled Sophos' On-active scanning, and there's no GPO that might be causing it. His wifi card has the most recent drivers. He's not experiencing loss of connectivity for basic internet access, Outlook exch connection etc.

It's on the network? I think I see your problem.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2014 20:38

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

ming-the-mazdaless posted:

A loving salesman contacted me:
1. Sends mail requesting delivery of a design (tied to the seventh phase of a non contracted piece of business set to be contracted in 2017 if it ever does happen, i.e. a waste of time).
2. Moments later: Work mobile, as I was on a recurring conference call, as per my calendar, he left a message which I received.
3. 30 seconds later, a text message.
4. Immediately after that, a call on my personal phone. (He scraped the number from a test phone call I made to a test device a few weeks prior)
5. Immediately after that, a text to my personal phone.
6. A Skype message.

Last week, I attended a family member's funeral. I made the appropriate office arrangements, you know, the usual:
Tell the boss, tell the HR rep/Office manager, block out my calendar, then tell A loving salesman.
A loving salesman, books me a conference call at 19h00 same day, and starts dialing my numbers(work and personal) demanding I provide information to all parties before close of business. His response to me telling him I was at a funeral.
I didn't know you were at a funeral. Just forget it...

Oh boy, appraisal week is not the week to gently caress with me.

At the point of calling the personal phone, I would be reporting him for stalking. You did not give him your number and he had no rights to it.

# ¿ Apr 23, 2014 12:29

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

QuiteEasilyDone posted:

Probably some vague mandate to remind the customer who they ordered from by an executive who had a marketing intern propose it as part of a new strategic initiative to increase market penetration, maximise brand loyalty, and enhance intangible assets. This of course as executed by an outsourced engineering team and integrated into the invoicing system by an overworked DBA who just wants to be let out of the dell ordering system farm to see the light of day again for just a moment.

Is it bad that I understood this word salad?

Great Scott, I have become one of them!

# ¿ May 5, 2014 19:37

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Lum posted:

And if they do...

"What? I dropped a big speaker on my foot! Where the hell did you get your interpretation from?"

Feeling kinda dumb. Do I want to know what it means?

# ¿ May 14, 2014 12:07

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

SubjectVerbObject posted:

Just heard that a company I used to work for went to discretionary time off for people at manager and above. This means there is no vacation pool, you can take vacation according to the needs of the business, ie, never. Most management people, due to time in grade, have at least 4 weeks vacation. While they are not allowed to roll it over, by this time they may have 2 weeks accrued. The company has stated per their lawyers, they do not need to pay out for any vacation lost.

I suspect that company is about to lose a lot of management. Holy poo poo - Talk about a gently caress you.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2014 16:43

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Inspector_666 posted:

Hey Verizon, if my client is paying for 120 down and Speedtest.net is going showing 27, me refusing to take their entire office down to run another test on your site isn't "refusing to do the speed test" and saying that to me has made your guy only the second phone support person I've ever yelled at.

Yeah, we're having issues with Verizon over their hotspots. After 5 gigs, they throttle so hard that I barely get dialup speed.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2014 18:35

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

the spyder posted:

I realize this happens monthly on here (if not weekly), but god drat it. I took a half day today and I'm still at the office, a good 2 hours longer then I should be. Why? Because gently caress HR. That's why. Oh I'm sorry I don't like doing my job, here's two new employees starting Monday. God drat it. We have one loving laptop and I'm out Monday @ a conference. I should have just said haha, sucks for your new employees. But I couldn't. Instead I gave up my personal machine and quickly imaged it and the other we had on hand. gently caress me. Oh well, at least I won't get the deal with the fall out Monday when they realize nothing else is setup...

Wait, your personal machine? As in you own it?

If so, way to be the new doormat. If HR can't be hosed to do their job, then it's not your problem.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2014 22:22

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Roargasm posted:

If you run out of ideas, the ASCII production of Star Wars: A New Hope is still available via telnet at towel.blinkenlights.nl

This is magical. :allears:

# ¿ Jul 31, 2014 14:46

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

So, an exploit came out that is going to make life very difficult for Security folks.

http://www.wired.com/2014/07/usb-security/

# ¿ Jul 31, 2014 19:07

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Fellatio del Toro posted:

It's slow as poo poo for us when using the client. I've been working on a Java app though that submits tickets through their API and it works perfectly well through that

.... We might have to go to Remedyforce. Anyone know anything about this ticketing system?

# ¿ Aug 1, 2014 04:00

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

dogstile posted:

Trust me, i'm trying to get the hell out. This place has phases of treating you nicely then insults and beats you down over the tiniest things.

Much like an abusive husband or wife. Seriously, :yotj:

outta there ASAP.

# ¿ Aug 13, 2014 16:12

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

What's the quote about having four bosses?

# ¿ Aug 25, 2014 18:52

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Sirotan posted:

I do this every single time. Go ahead, judge my manliness.

You don't count. You're a seal. :colbert:

# ¿ Aug 27, 2014 13:19

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

The Macaroni posted:

We recently updated our ticket system for onboarding new contractors--making network accounts, establishing access, etc. Part of the process is for the requesting supervisor to indicate 1) the start date of the contractor and 2) the end date. Makes sense, right?

I've now seen at least a dozen instances of supervisors putting in the same date for the start and end date. So it winds up looking like:

User's First Day of Work: 8/14/2014
User's Last Day/Termination Date: 8/14/2014

Mind you, these are not one day assignments. These are contractors who are here for up to a year. The tech folks changed the ticket to prevent putting in the same start and end date, so now what happens? Users are putting an end date the day after the start date. For 1- to 6-month assignments.

In every instance where I've asked a user why they did this, the universal reply is "I dunno." Not "I was confused" or "I put a different date, it must be a bug!" Just "I dunno why I did this stupid thing." We are now changing the ticket to require at least a 1-week difference between start and end dates.

Then they are going to start putting one week differences. Going to be fun terminating those contractors access, then when they ask why, you can point at the ticket.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 17:34

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

BaseballPCHiker posted:

This is one of my main gripes with my job now. Supervisors putting in new hire requests the day of or before a person is supposed to start. Then they bring the person by asking for their equipment. Makes us look like assholes and then we have to drop everything to get them ready. No matter how many meetings we seem to have with department heads and HR people just cant seem to get it. We've done everything we can to speed up the process, having equipment on hand, speeding up the imaging sequence, etc. Still happens and pisses me off to no end. Everyone knows its supposed to be 2 weeks and it never seems to happen. Managers are so bad about getting in paperwork that they have actually pressured a women in HR to forge signatures on hire agreements so that they can get people started right away.

Holy poo poo, that's illegal as poo poo.

Where I am, we have a two week policy and we enforce it.

Got an intern that starts today? Tough poo poo. We'll get to it when we can, and if you throw a fit, you get to explain to your boss why you didn't do your job.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 17:49

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

The Macaroni posted:

Yup, and that's when I hear about it.

: WHY CAN'T I SEE MY NEW HIRES? I GOT THE EMAIL RIGHT HERE SAYING THEIR ACCOUNT WOULD BE CREATED

: Because you entered the termination date wrong and so the system created their account then promptly shut it down at the end of the day. The system worked as intended, and that's why you got that notification email. May I ask what was confusing about the date entry system? We'd like to fix it if it's not clear.

: [actual quote from email]OK, I don�t know how I could have done that with the end date. I�m currently trying to onboard [a lot of people].

This is the case where you can't fix "stupid". At this point, you might have to use the "dog's nose" approach.

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 17:56

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Zamboni Apocalypse posted:

Ours is similar - the MAC (Move, Add or Change) form, which has two very distinct and separate sections to fill out, depending on if it's a new employee or and existing one. Which about 30-40% of the supervisors either fill out using the wrong section, fill out using *both* sections, or some of both.

Oh, it also has a BOLD CAPS section instructing the sender to add the name of the employee to the From: line of the email, "Example - SUBJECT: MAC form for Mickey Mouse".

We have a whole shitload of Mickey on-staff here.

Do you work for Disney?

# ¿ Aug 28, 2014 21:38

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Dick Trauma posted:

I don't want to be wearing formal clothing while crawling around under someone's desk looking for a cable. I wore one of my nice custom shirts today and wound up humping dirty boxes around. It's just not appropriate for the work I have to do.

Is your dick okay?

# ¿ Sep 2, 2014 19:06

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

sfwarlock posted:

Recruiting. I'm trying to hire just another low-level set of hands, and I get this one candidate...

First, she applied for every single job posted on the site, from a marketing intern all the way up to VP/HR.

Second, she's spent the last three years working at a golf course on the grounds crew.

Third, this is the entirety of her cover letter:
job application.

I rejected her. I get the following email back.
u not hire me because i'm woman.

Most likely someone that's currently on unemployment.

# ¿ Sep 6, 2014 00:40

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

RFC2324 posted:

Drink. Smoke. Troll the internet.

Have lots of sex.

Keys to venting stress.

Not every goon has access to a willing mate.

Nor is willing to spend money to rent one.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2014 06:16

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

GargleBlaster posted:

Some of them do, and they're welcome to state their case. The software allows for a keyword to trigger a different sig, or remove it altogether, if they have a legitimate reason.

It's more the "but what about mah special pink and yellow flourish that I use to add a personal touch? " crowd that I'm talking about here. Sorry to break the illusion but you're a corporate drone like the rest of us!

Comic Sans, all the way.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2014 15:37

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

anthonypants posted:

A guy called in, said he'd been put on light duty so he was going to help out the office staff with some computer work. But he doesn't have an account, so he can't log in. The user who usually sits at this computer is on vacation, and he wants to reset that user's password. I tell him we'll need his manager to send us a new account creation request, and then we'll be able to get him an account.

A few minutes later, his manager calls and speaks with someone else here. They reset that user's password.

Isn't this like a huge security violation?

# ¿ Sep 22, 2014 18:51

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

SubjectVerbObject posted:

This sounds like the opening of a D&D module. Yes I am a geek.

I remember this. This was at a university, I believe.

# ¿ Sep 29, 2014 21:45

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

myron cope posted:

One of our locations has a printer with a fuser error. It is out of warranty. We need to obtain approval to spend money like that ( to bill $500). So I sent the email asking for approval. The reply came back: "I am surprised I am being asked, as they can not function without one." and then it was approved under that.

What a lovely way to respond to a question.

Perhaps he's actually surprised that he's being asked when it's something that could be charged to a card.

We have a card that if it's under a grand, you don't need approval. However, we do monthly audits - so you better have a business reason.

# ¿ Oct 5, 2014 16:15

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Swink posted:

My drafts folder is a one way ticket to a prison psychologist.

I think this is our new thread title!

# ¿ Oct 5, 2014 23:43

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

Not pissing me off: New computers.
Pissing me off: Hard drives of said new computers.

So tell me when exactly Dell switched to PCI-E for Hard Drives?
How the hell am I going to clone these? We have several duplicators but they only take SATA connections.

Anyone worked with these before?

VVVV: Goddamnit, we could've gotten hard drives? At the rate this is going, that would've been a better choice.

RadicalR fucked around with this message at 22:20 on Oct 14, 2014

# ¿ Oct 14, 2014 22:14

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

wolrah posted:

Laptop or SFF desktop? Sounds like an mSATA or M.2 card. If it's mSATA there are some simple wire adapters which will convert the cards to a standard SATA plug.

If it's M.2 it may be SATA based in which case it would work the same but it may also be a PCI Express device. If it's native PCIe you'll need a new duplicator or a change to a network based deployment for these machines.

Laptop. Network based deployment is going to kill our network if we go that route. I'll find out more about the drive when I get to work tomorrow.

# ¿ Oct 14, 2014 23:10

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

beepsandboops posted:

One of our managers needs a copy of Excel. What has the company done in the past for licensing?

. . . oh.

... I assume the poo poo that pisses you off is that there's no Volume licensing?

# ¿ Oct 16, 2014 21:04

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

skooma512 posted:

System file checker has never done a drat thing in all the years I've used it, even on very obviously messed up machines.

This has been bugging the hell outta me. Where the hell is your avatar from?

# ¿ Nov 11, 2014 02:07

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 06:06

RadicalR: Jan 20, 2008; "Businessmen are the symbol of a free society
---
the symbol of America."

I would

fast. Things are going downhill and you don't want to be there when the Boulder reaches the bottom.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2015 23:27

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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