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Oh my God, someone's taken a bite out of the big Rice Krispy square...oh and, uh, the waiter's been brutally beaten.
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Nov 1, 2014 01:08
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:I predict that within 100 years quote threads will be twice as powerful, 10,000 times larger, and so expensive that only the five richest kings in Europe will post them. The Simpsons Quote Thread is a sham! It was started in 1924 as an excuse to beat up the Irish!
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Nov 5, 2014 02:43
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Jerusalem was tried in Springfield Superior Court. The judge dismissed his ex-husband's auto theft charges and forced him to pay all back child support payments. Mr. Salem blamed the outcome on his lawyer, one Dr. Bouvenstein. Dr. Bouvenstein, AKA Miguel Sanchez, AKA Dr. Nguyen Van Falk, was paid eight dollars for his thirty two hours of babysitting. He was glad to get it. IMJack was charged with a violation of penal code 618A: Wonton Destruction of Precious Antique Cans. He was ordered to pay fifty cents to replace the cans and $2000 in punitive damages and mental anguish. CharlieFoxtrot was remanded to the custody of the United States Army Neurochemical Research Center in Fort Meade, Maryland for extensive testing.
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Nov 5, 2014 18:14
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Do over Ham posted:Yeah...Skinner says you wouldn't have the wontons to go through with it. Yeah, you've won this round Dean, but the war isn't over. *Do over Ham's phone rings* Hello, Do over Ham? You're a stupid head.
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Nov 6, 2014 04:03
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CatchrNdRy posted:Heckuva school. Weren't you at Brown, Martytoof? Let's just say this. He spelled Yale with a six.
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Nov 6, 2014 19:50
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Cry Havoc posted:All I have is this thread, which I built with my own two hands! Tis a fine barn but sure tis no thread, English.
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Nov 6, 2014 21:06
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Everything Counts posted:Why?! Why was I programmed to feel pain?! Nice try, Everything Counts, but you were designed for scrubbing and scrubbing is what you shall do.
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Nov 7, 2014 05:16
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IMJack posted:He lied to us through song! I hate it when people do that! Homer Simpson does not lie twice on the same form. He never has and he never will.
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Nov 8, 2014 19:35
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:Now, under "heart attacks", you crossed out three and wrote zero. The father of the deposed beauty queen, Homer Simpson, filled out the pageant application incorrectly. In the area under 'do not write in this space', he wrote "ok".
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Nov 8, 2014 19:47
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ShaqDiesel posted:
Hey, look at my feet. You like those moccasins? Look in your closet, there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I! Get the hell out of here! You ever see a man say goodbye to a shoe?
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Nov 10, 2014 19:33
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IMJack posted:
IMJack, when I asked you if that dummy was to fake your own death, you said no.
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Nov 11, 2014 17:41
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No! No!!! That could have been me!!!
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Do over Ham posted:You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure, it's not 1985 now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? It all happened during that magical summer of 1985. A maturing Joe Piscopo left Saturday Night Live to conquer Hollywood. People Express introduced a generation of hicks to plane travel and I was in a barbershop quartet.
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Nov 13, 2014 14:49
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Oh Jerusalem, I didn't get drunk, I just went to a strange fantasy land.
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Nov 14, 2014 04:31
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Crackerman posted:I’m the queen! Ah, my plan has come to fruition. Soon, I'll be queen of summertime! Er...king.
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Nov 15, 2014 00:22
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After The War posted:...and then he worked on a machine to communicate with the dead! Kind of scary telephone, I guess, or maybe he planned to just stick his head under the ground and yell... I bet Einstein turned himself all sorts of colors before he invented the light bulb.
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Nov 15, 2014 18:07
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PT6A posted:I'm going... outside. To... stalk... sout and mrfart. Oh, PT6A no more stalking! It's so illegal. Remember when you were stalking Charles Kuralt because you thought he dug up your garden?
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Nov 15, 2014 22:11
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TMMadman posted:IMJack, your growing insanity is starting to worry me. Why don't you talk to the moderators of the forum? Maybe they'll make your character suave again. You know IMJack, for the first time in this thread, I can look down my nose at you. YOU have a gambling problem. Oh sure, remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? Well that's nothing because YOU have a gambling problem. And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed as Santa Claus? Well YOU have a gambling problem.
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Nov 18, 2014 05:53
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Gin_Rummy posted:Hey, Do over Ham! You want a job in my factory? Remember, your job and the future of your family hinges on your successful completion of Nuclear Physics 101. Oh, and one more thing. You must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.
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Nov 18, 2014 16:43
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Mira posted:
Mira, I've designed a new plane. I call it the Spruce Moose and it will carry 200 passengers from New York's Idlewild Airport to the Belgian Congo in seventeen minutes.
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Nov 18, 2014 19:15
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The Nastier Nate posted:
Well everything's stolen nowadays. Why, the fax machine is nothing but a waffle iron with a phone attached.
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Nov 19, 2014 19:02
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TMMadman posted:No, I said Screamville. I should've got off at Crackton.
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Nov 20, 2014 00:48
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TMMadman posted:That's it CharlieFoxtrot, you just made the list! Hey, this is Richard Nixon's enemy list. You just crossed out his name and wrote yours.
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Nov 20, 2014 14:36
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CatchrNdRy posted:I assumed I could. Well sir, you more than meet every one of this thread's requirements to box, wrestle or be shot out of a cannon.
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Nov 20, 2014 22:05
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PT6A posted:Who in the quote thread with eat the poisoned broth? It could be anyone... even Mr. Burns! Well that depends on what your teachers say. If you've been good, pizza. If you've been bad... uh... let's see, poison.
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Nov 21, 2014 21:59
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Gin_Rummy posted:Where ya been, MondayHotDog? The whole quoting industry is gay. Goons, we now have a girl poster among our ranks, so there are going to be a few changes. First of all, MondayHotDog, you are no longer the girliest poster here.
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Nov 22, 2014 01:41
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sout posted:that is of course my name so I always enjoy that line Chief Justice of the Supreme Court. What great men he would join. John Marshall, Charles Evans Hughes, Warren Burger. Mmmmmm, burger.
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Nov 22, 2014 15:45
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Gin_Rummy posted:You can use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true. That's the Wright Brother's plane. At Kitty Hawk in 1903, Charles Lindbergh flew it 15 miles on a thimbleful of corn oil. Single handedly won us the Civil War, it did.
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Nov 23, 2014 05:34
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sout posted:Welcome to the Quote Thread, where nothing can possibl-y go wrong. That fool McGuckett sprayed runway foam all over Chuck Yeager's Acura. Now get down there with the chamois, triple time!
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Nov 23, 2014 19:09
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Gin_Rummy posted:Far out, man. I haven't seen a quote in years. Hello, I'm not interested in quoting The Simpsons, but I would like to use your restroom, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. HA! Now you know how it feels!
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Nov 24, 2014 00:55
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After The War posted:Stop! Enough of your devil music! Well, it seems some silly twit did not get a big enough oxygen tank, but that's supposed to be a devil. Filled up with air, it's very evil and impressive. We salute you, our half inflated Dark Lord!
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Nov 24, 2014 01:22
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TMMadman posted:Simpson Quote Thread update: Boardroom Jimmy sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers! I got a home remedy that'll put the zowsers back in your trousers.
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Nov 24, 2014 02:23
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DrBouvenstein posted:Nah, nah, let me level with you, IMJack. That's just our name for bottom-feeding suction eel. You don't want that. That DrBouvenstein, he thinks he's the pope of chili town.
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Nov 24, 2014 15:26
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Ainsley McTree posted:Eh, it's part of my public service for my "Glug-glug, vroom-vroom, thump-thump." Well, he's kinda had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace accidentally with repeatedly and replace dog with son.
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Nov 24, 2014 22:45
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Quote is not edit.
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Nov 24, 2014 22:46
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Cry Havoc posted:Do these sound like the actions of a man who had all he could eat? We were sitting in IMJack's car eating packets of mustard. You happy?
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Nov 25, 2014 03:37
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Applewhite posted:What kind of man wears Armor hot dogs? That's it, he knows the whole hot dog song. Go ahead, sleep with him.
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Nov 25, 2014 20:23
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CharlieFoxtrot posted:Oh, no! If Marge marries Artie, I'll never be born! Then by the power vested in me by the state gaming commission, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Here's ten dollars worth of chips, you may now kiss the bride.
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Nov 25, 2014 22:46
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Perry Normal posted:
Oh, relax Perry Normal. I've got a gut feeling Uter is around here somewhere, After all, isn't there a little Uter in all of us? In fact, you might even say we just ate Uter and he's in our stomachs right now! Wait, scratch that one.
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Nov 26, 2014 23:22
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And Lord, we are especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest, safest energy source there is. Except for solar which is just a pipe dream. Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and love this thread has experienced. Well, not today.... you saw what happened. Oh Lord, be honest. Are we the most pathetic posters in the universe or what?
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Nov 27, 2014 16:16
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Schremp Howard posted:Well, I hope they show the time where they traded guns to the Indians for corn, and then the Indians shot them, and took the corn. Hey, wait a minute. That was the same day he was at Ticonderoga. How could he be in two places at once?
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Nov 27, 2014 18:49
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