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Your Failure Must Be More Severe: Let's Play White Knight Chronicles II (& I)   White Knight Chronicles (白騎士物語: 古の鼓動- Shirokishi Monogatari: Inishie no Kodō lit. White Knight Story: The Ancient Heartbeat) and its sequel, White Knight Chronicles II (白騎士物語: 光と闇の覚醒- Shirokishi Monogatari: Hikari to Yami no Kakusei lit. White Knight Story: Awakening of Light and Darkness) were a pair of JRPGs for the PlayStation 3 released in 2008 and 2010, respectively… in Japan. They finally made it to the New World in 2010 and 2011. They were developed back-to-back by Level-5 Studios, a production house better known for the Professor Layton series, Dark Cloud I & II, and the more-recent Studio Ghibli co-production Ni no Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch. They were localized for North America by D3 Publisher, a company known these days mostly for low-rent licensed games of Dreamworks and Cartoon Network-owned IPs. Originally intended to be not just one game, be a PS3 launch title, no less, production difficulties led to the game being split in two and delayed three whole years before the first part was even released, with the second part hastily following two years later. White Knight Chronicles was lauded by the gaming press and curious fans alike at the time of its unveiling at the 2006 Tokyo Game Show, with various game websites proclaiming its revolutionary intent. This was a game that was supposed to be emblematic of the early PlayStation 3's attempt to usher in the era of "massive" games -- massive storyline, massive world, massive graphics, massive robots. Even Penny Arcade [yeah, yeah, insert Gabe and/or Tycho joke here] was suckered in by it. But that's the thing, everyone WAS suckered in by it, because the original "gameplay" trailer Level-5 used to announce the game to the world was a crock of pre-rendered, scripted poo poo. You'll see the actual quality of the finished game for yourself over the course of this LP. To the surprise of those who only watched the 2006 bullshot trailer, both games bombed spectacularly. To those who actually played them, there was no surprise at all. Just what’s the game about, crow? Essentially, it’s a fantasy RPG with a giant mecha thread woven in. You assume the role of a young man who gains the power to transform into a seven meter-tall walking tank and tear poo poo up against both normal and similarly sized giant enemies. Oh Christ, where’s the line up to give all my  to Japan?I know, right? Hold your horses. I need to break some bad news to you. While once cheered as a unique mix of Lord of the Rings and Vision of Escaflowne, when it was finally released it was revealed instead to be closer to Eragon meets …Okay. So what went wrong? A mixture of a failed tacked-on MMORPG sub-game, incompetent gameplay design, infuriatingly dumb party AI, and terrible plot and characters written by Level-5's president himself, Akihiro Hino left both games an unfocused middling mess. And when the online elements that were made integral to the core gameplay were taken offline by Sony in 2013, the games became unsalvagably broken. There's no way around this: these games are poo poo. So why are you LPing them? Because incompetence of this level deserves a decent shitkicking, that's why. Crow! I have some kind of brain tumour and its making me really want to play these games! Where can I find them? First off, my sincerest sympathies. Generally speaking, you can find used copies of White Knight Chronicles International Edition and White Knight Chronicles II at most major game retailers. Neither game had a particularly large print run, but you can still trip over the occasional copy at any given GameStop of EB Games. Failing that, they’re also on Amazon as well. Unfortunately, neither game is available as a PSN download (outside of Japan). And since both Level-5 and D3 have run screaming from the franchise, I would be shocked if either game got a PSN Store release at any point between now and the heat death of the universe. If you are going to run out and buy one of these games based on this LP or any other factor in your life, take it from me: BUY WHITE KNIGHT CHRONCILES II. Why? Because it has both an “enhanced” remake of the first game on it as well as the sequel, allowing you to play right through the duology without skipping a beat. It’s what I’m using the LP both games. Buying the first one is literally a waste of money. …Unless you really need to see how terrible its battle system was before they tweaked it for part 2. And because both games were bombs, they shouldn’t be more than $20 a pop by now, so happy hunting.  ● Oh Christ, a narrative LP? Really? gently caress you, jackass, I'm out. Your loss.  ● A Note On The Avatar Character  Doing screenshots for the storyline allows me to do something that isn’t actually done in the game: give the Avatar character a voice. Who is the Avatar? Well, long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony, but everything changed then the Fire Nation attacked… Wait. The “Avatar,” is the character you create at the start of the first game who follows the party through both games and is essentially just there. He or she never speaks, never gets involved in the storyline beyond certain middling events here and there, and is essentially a non-entity intended to be used in the game’s failed online MMORPG section, GeoNet. I intend to change that. The Avatar character I’ve created, Orren, is going to serve as my voice on matters as we go through the game, seeing as how he’s an everpresent element of the main party while being completely unobtrusive to the story. It’s the perfect vantage point to fling a little well-deserved poo poo at this unpolished turd of a game. ● The Mockery To Be Done Anything in the story sections in italics that isn’t prose commentary is of my own creation. Everything said by Orren over the course of the LP will be in italics, as well as most of the in-character (or out-of-character) jokes by the speaking characters as well will be italicised.   NO. CUSSING. SPOILERSThe majority of people bound to be reading this LP probably haven't experienced the full... ah... joy(?) of White Knight Chronicles. If you have, first off my condolences, second, please keep any and all spoilers to yourself until we reach the appropriate point in the LP where you're free to talk about what you want to talk about. This one's kind of moot now, ain't it? #2 – Constructive criticism is always welcome So's this one. #3 – Concerning the PSP Prequel There was a PSP prequel game called White Knight Chronicles: Origins or White Knight Story Episode Portable: Dogma Wars (白騎士物語 -episode.portable- ドグマ・ウォーズ) in Japan. It was an even bigger pile of poo poo than this game was. I'm not LP'ing it. Deal with it. #4 – Concerning the Avatar Story White Knight Chronicles II featured a pack of DLC side quests centred around your Avatar character to be done as a post-game epilogue to the whole shebang of the duology. D3 hinted it was going to localize it, but it never did, essentially locking the missions down as untranslated and unstable on-disc DLC, so it was lost to the greater part of Europe and North America. That said, I translated it and added it to the LP as a final slate of updates. So now we have that...#5 – Don't Be A Dick LP's over douchebag.  #6 – Are You Finished With This drat OP Yet? Christ, I've Read Shorter BOOKS! Okay. Fine. I'm done. Enjoy the show.                                                                 
nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 07:16 on May 16, 2015 |
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 This section is intended as a refresher on who's who in this wonky plot. Minor unmarked spoilers may be present herein. Major spoilers are appropriately tagged. Read at your own risk. :: MAIN PARTY ::  LEONARD Our "protagonist". A wine merchant's apprentice from Balandor. Pactmaker of the White Knight, Wizel. He's a fuckup machine. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Daniel Taylor ● ORREN  Player-created Avatar. LP narrator. Pactmaker of the Arc Knight. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Wil Wheaton* In my imagination. ● YULIE  Leonard's childhood friend from Parma Village. Also an apprentice wine merchant. Pactmaker of the Moon Maiden, Luthia. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter II Voiced by: Dannah Feinglass ● ELDORE  A mysterious wanderer with much knowledge seemingly beyond his purview. He's actually a time traveler from the Dogma Era. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Charles Shaughnessy (Maxwell Sheffield (The Nanny), and a legit bleeping BARON) ● KARA  A barroom dancer from the desert town of Albana. Actually a Magi mole within the party, Pactmaker of the Black Knight, Dinivas. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter VIII Voiced by: Catherine Cavadini (Blossom from The Powerpuff Girls) ● CAESAR  The shiftless playboy heir to the Free City of Greede. Pactmaker of the Dragon Knight, Larvayne. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX (cameo), XIII (actual) Voiced by: Vincent Corazza (Tuxedo Mask from the DiC dub of Sailor Moon) ● MARCELL  A soldier in the Balandor Royal Army. Player-created Avatar for the second game. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I Voiced by: Johnny Yong Bosch* In spirit. :: ALLIES :: ○ PRINCESS CISNA  Heir to the throne of Balandor and staunch ally of the main party. Is the reincarnation of Queen Mureas from the Dogma Era. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Kari Wahlgren ○ SIR CYRUS  Captain of the Balandor Castleguard and King Valtos's adoptive son. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: NOLAN NORTH ○ KING VALTOS  The King of Balandor and father to Cisna and Cyrus. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Bob Joles ○ CHANCELLOR SARVAIN  King Valtos's most trusted friend and adviser and head of his Privy Council. Is actually the evil High Priest Ledom of Yshrenia. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Jim Ward (Captain Qwark) ○ ARCHDUKE DALAM  Monarch of the Archduchy of Faria. Seeks an end to the war between Faria and Balandor. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Michael Ensign ○ COUNT DRISDALL  /  Caesar's ailing father and ruler of the Free City of Greede. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIII Voiced by: Joe Alaskey / Matthew Mercer (Young Drisdall) ○ LADY MIU  Archduke Dalam's granddaughter and heir. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I Voiced by: Natalie Lander (Kinzie Kenzington, Saints Row The Third & IV) ○ FRAMBOISE  Balandor's chief scientist, responsible for studying the Knights. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter IX Voiced by: Jentle Pheonix ○ DON PHIBIANACCI  De facto ruler of Albana in the Lagnish Desert and head of a massive weapons manufacturing syndicate. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX Voiced by: Hans Tester ○ DRAGON MATRIARCH  The wise and noble “Guardian of Dragonkind,” and keeper of the Ark and armour of the Dragon Knight. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XV Voiced by: Diane Pershing ○ SETTI  A kind, gentle and scholarly lad who happens to know many of the Knight's darker secrets. He is the embattled original personality of Grazel. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVI Voiced by: Crispin Freeman ○ OSMUND  Chief of Baccea Village and commander of the Baccea Windwalkers. Slightly explosion-happy. Walking reference to Level-5's Dark Cloud series. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIX Voiced by: Sean Donnellan ○ ROCCO  Accident-prone member of the Baccean Windwalkers and a protege of Osmund's. Later the pilot of Balandor’s airship Shahgna. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIX Voiced by: Debi Derryberry (Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius) ○ BAN LORIAS  Head of the Farian governing council and chief adviser to Archduke Dalam. Close ally and guardian of Dalam's granddaughter Miu. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I Voiced by: Barry Dennen ○ GENERAL SCARDIGNE  A powerful Farian warrior and commander loyal to Ban Lorias and Miu. Is actually a resurrected Kara. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I Voiced by: Troy Baker ○ FATHER YGGDRA  The leader of the Farian people from the Dogma Era. His spirit lives on in the massive tree in Faria's Numenshrine. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter III Voiced by: Darryl Kurylo ○* ORURO  Famous archaeologist specializing in Dogma Era relics, particularly the Knights. Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC. First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter I :: ENEMIES :: ► GENERAL DRAGIAS  Leader of the Magi's armed forces and Pactmaker of the Black Knight, Dinivas. Is actually a composite entity with many people playing the "role" of Dragias over time. Kara was one Dragias, Ledom was the other one. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Daniel Riordan ► BELCITANE  A powerful sorcerer and second-in-command of the Magi. Pactmaker of the Gigas Sargatanas. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Dana Snyder (yes, ladies and gentlemen, Master Shake himself) ► GRAZEL  Leader of the Yshrenia-worshiping cult known as the Magi. Main villain of the series. Pactmaker of the Sun King, Aldomaea, and divergent personality of Setti. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XI (cameo), XVII (actual) Voiced by: Crispin Freeman ► HIGH PRIEST LEDOM  The mastermind of the Magi organization and Grazel's chief adviser. Is actually Chancellor Sarvain of Balandor. First Appearance: Game 1, Epilogue Voiced by: Jim Ward ► SHAPUR  Farian expatriate assassin and Grazel's right-hand man. Second Pactmaker of the Black Knight, Dinivas. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I (cameo), XI (actual) Voiced by: Joe Smith ► BAN NANAZEL  Farian boyar and Magi puppet turned against his own people by promises of power and glory. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter I Voiced by: Danny Jacobs :: OTHER IMPORTANT CHARACTERS :: ■ / † QUEEN MUREAS  Queen of the ancient Athwan Kingdom from the Dogma Era and arch-enemy of Emperor Madoras. Reincarnated as Cisna in the modern era. Literal war criminal. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVII (mentioned); Game 2, Chapter XII (depicted) :: MINOR CHARACTERS :: ◊ RAPACCI  A Warg wine seller from the Kingdom of Balandor and adoptive father of Leonard and Yulie. Mean and perpetually cross. Was once a skilled adventurer and bounty hunter in his own right. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Dave B. Mitchell ◊ RAUS  A wagon-driver from Parma Village. Lazy, drunken shitstain. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter II Voiced by: Matthew Moy (Han Lee from Two Broke Girls) ◊ THE PHANTOM  A mysterious ethereal being inhabiting the White Knight Incorruptus acting as its guardian spirit. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IV Voiced by: Uncredited ◊ TEAM CYRUS  Cyrus's personal Castleguard retinue. Four loyal soldiers who would literally follow him anywhere. They are, from left to right, Oswald, Warren, Noel, and Anecia. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter VII Voiced by: Uncredited (Oswald & Noel only) ◊ THE TOADS (PEDRO, PADRO, ET AL.)  Don Phibs’ lackies. They run his Binding Posts and cater to his various absurd whims. Scheming shitbags. All of them. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX Voiced by: Wally Wingert & Eric Lopez ◊ ANURA PHIBIANACCI  Don Phibs’ First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX Voiced by: Uncredited ◊ VERUCCA  The other woman. Don Phibianacci’s mistress and the object of his affections. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter IX Voiced by: Uncredited ◊ LENA  Kara's sister. Kidnapped by the Magi to force her to do their bidding. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter VIII (mentioned), X (actual) Voiced by: Uncredited ◊ VON DIETRICH  Owner, operator and auctioneer of the Black Cherry Auction House in Greede’s Black Market. Con artist. Runs an illegal fighting arena in Greede’s underbelly in his spare time. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XII Voiced by: Uncredited ◊ AMIR  A friend and servant of the Drisdall Family. The Demithor’s handler. The only person in Greede able to communicate with the beast that bears the city on its back. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XIV Voiced by: Travis Oates (Piglet!  )◊ CAPTAIN ELVEE  Commander of Balandor's Royal Army in the second game. Is mostly just there without really doing much. She's Balandor's Shapur, only without that whole murdering people thing. First Appearance: Game 2, Chapter X Voiced by: Laura Bailey (Uncredited) ◊ DASH RENDAR  Vestigial reference to LPs long past. Legends never die they just get decanonized. First Appearance: Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire :: DECEASED CHARACTERS :: † QUEEN FLORAINE  Mother of Princess Cisna and wife of King Valtos. Was assassinated during a Farian attack on Balandor Castle, causing Cisna to become a mute for 10 years. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter I Voiced by: Uncredited † MEDIUS  A mysterious scholar, former guardian of the Pactmakers, and father of Setti. Knew many secrets about the Knights, but died mysterious one year prior to the start of the game. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XV † SIR THAUMUS, THE ONE-EYED  A legendary troll warrior from the Dogma Era. Led the united troll tribes against Yshrenia. Wielded a holy sword known as Talion, a Knight-Slaying Sword forged by the Athwani smiths. Held up as a god-like figure by the peoples of Frass Chasm. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVIII (mentioned), XX (depicted) :: END-GAME & POST-GAME VILLAINS::MAJOR spoilers follow, skip this section if you haven't read up to the final chapter of game 2. ► EMPEROR MADORAS  Ruler of the ancient Yshrenian Empire in the Dogma Era. Prophesied to return in the modern era and finish his great battle with Queen Mureas of Athwan. Our Bigger Bad for the game. First Appearance: Game 1, Chapter XVII (mentioned); Game 2, Chapter XVI (actual) Voiced by: Liam O'Brien ►* SHEM  A woman in strange magical armour and herald of an invasion from the world beyond. Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC. First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter II ►* AZEL  A man in strange magical armour and herald of an invasion from the world beyond. Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC. First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter V ►* IDEYA  An entity claiming to be the god of the other world. Our Biggest Bad, but only in the Japanese version. Appears exclusively in the Avatar Story DLC. First Appearance: Avatar Story, Chapter X  Formally known as an “Incorruptus” (plural: Incorrupti), a Knight is a colossal weapon of war from ancient times, towering some seven meters tall. The so-called “Dogma Legend” speaks of a set of five specific Knights created by an ancient civilization known as Yshrenia. Also according to the Dogma Legend, if all five Knights were ever to come together in the modern era, it would bring about an event referred to as the “Final Awakening”. The Incorrupti are believed to be indestructible——not even another Incorruptus is capable of truly destroying one, and it is alleged that a single Incorruptus is equivalent in destructive power to an entire army. Resembling gigantic suits of armour, the Knights are actually alive, propelled by powerful ancient magic and a bond with the soul of a living being, called a ‘Pactmaker’. If a Pactmaker is worthy of wielding the power of the Incorruptus, they are granted control of that Incorruptus’s Ark, a trinket of one kind or another which allows the Pactmaker to summon the Incorruptus from another realm and inhabit its body temporarily. The effect, when viewed from the outside, looks as though the Pactmaker has actually transformed into the Incorruptus. And indeed, even the incantation word used to complete the ‘transformation,’ “Verto” is derived from the ancient (read: Latin) word meaning ‘to turn’. A typical Incorruptus transformation incantation follows this pattern, “O [Incorruptus name], [description] of the Ancient [noun], grant me your power. Verto!” (Note: in the Japanese version, the magic word is “Henshin”, literally “transform,” and a deliberate shout out to all the so-called ‘henshin heroes’ of Japanese live action TV, ie: Ultraman, Kamen Raider, and the Sentai Rangers, among others. This concludes your Japanese pop culture lesson for today). Once transformed, a Packtmaker can only hold their Incorruptus form for a limited time and must recover their strength for a brief period after they revert to their original form. In terms of gameplay, that means you can only hold out for as long as your MP holds out. Once you revert you’re left with 0 MP, regardless of whether or not you reverted voluntarily, and will need to amass at least 7 AC before you can transform again. The following Knights appear in the game:  The White Knight True Name: Wizel Weapon: Sword & Shield Pactmaker: Leonard Found in the ruins unearthed by the Cataclysm some 17 years ago, the Incorruptus known by the short hand of ‘the White Knight,’ was recovered by an expedition led by King Valtos and Chancellor Sarvain of Balandor. Balandor’s brightest minds poured nearly a decade into trying to unlock the secrets of the Knight and its accompanying Ark, no doubt in an attempt to use it against their rival nation of Faria to end the war once and for all. Alas, after years of futile experimentation, the White Knight was deemed inoperable and sealed away beneath the castle, its location and existence known only to the upper echelons of Balandor’s government and military. Wizel's transformation incantation is, “O Wizel, white warrior, wielder of the ancient sword, grant me your power. Verto!” Its transformation Ark is a gauntlet bearing the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its wrist and a dagger. When the dagger is inserted into the open slot on the gauntlet after the incantation is uttered, Leonard transforms into the White Knight. The White Knight’s typical armament is swords and shields. Its default weapon is a blade called Whitesteel and the Argent Sheild.  The Black Knight True Name: Dinivas Weapon: Sword Pactmaker: General Dragias (Kara), later Shapur Known by the nickname Ebonwings, the Black Knight, Dinivas, was discovered by the Magi some time ago and recently activated after two years of effort to break the Athwani seal on it. The mysterious General Dragias is the Black Knight’s Pactmaker. The Black Knight is the pride of the Magi’s armed forces after their legion of gigases. Unlike the White Knight, the Black Knight is capable of flight thanks to its two enormous bird-like wings which fold in and out of its back. Dinivas's transformation incantation is, "O Dinivas, deliverer of dark and dread, ruler of the ancient shadows, grant me your power. Verto!" It's transformation Ark is ceremonial broadsword with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its crossguard. The transformation sequence is initiated when the sword is pulled from its scabbard. The Black Knight has one known weapon: a rapier-like sword known as the Darkblade.  The Dragon Knight True Name: Larvayne Weapon: Spear Pactmaker: Caesar The armour of Larvayne, the Dragon Knight, has been worn by the Dragon Matriarch for nearly 10,000 years since the end of the Dogma Era, its true power sealed away by Athwani magic, as she waits to return it to its rightful owner. The Dragon Knight itself looks more bestial than the White and Black Knights do, being heavily inspired by the dragons who kept its power safe all these millennia. Just like the Black Knight, it is capable of flight thanks to its two massive armored wings. The Dragon Knight’s transformation Ark is a dragon-shaped belt with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its buckle. When the jaw of the dragon’s head clamps down around the buckle, the transformation sequence is initiated. The Dragon Knight’s transformation incantation is “O Larvayne, vermillion drake, leveler of ancient lands, grant me you power… Verto!” The Dragon Knight’s principle weapon is a spear known as Larvaint.  The Sun King True Name: Adolmaea Weapon: Twin Swords Pactmaker: Grazel The oldest and strongest of the five remaining Yshrenian Incorrupti, Adolmaea, the Sun King, lies sealed away inside the Dogma Rift temple awaiting the return of its Pactmaker and its unbinding from the Athwani seal upon it. In the heyday of the Dogma Wars, it was the symbol of Yshrenia’s martial prowess, and was the personal Incorruptus of Emperor Madoras. It is said to be truly indestructible, no weapon or spell known is strong enough to damage it. The Sun King's transformation incantation is "O Adolmaea, shining sovereign, supreme light in the ancient skies, grant me your power... Verto!" Its transformation Ark is a silver mask with the emblem of the Yshrenian Empire on its forehead. The transformation sequence is initiated when the mask is applied to the Pactmaker's head. The Sun King wields a bifurcated sword/lance called the Lawblade, which is capable of splitting in two to give the Sun King a pair of swords when the situation calls for it.  The Moon Maiden True Name: Luthia Weapon: Bow & Arrow Pactmaker: Yulie The fifth and final member of the Yshrenian Knights mentioned in the Dogma Legend. The Moon Maiden was the only one of the five not affected by Queen Mureas's sealing spell, having chosen to seal herself away prior to the end of the Dogma War. She was placed inside the massive tree that became Father Yggdra's body in the Farian capital, and has remained there for the last 10,000 years. The Moon Maiden's transformation incantation is "O Luthia, argent goddess and beacon in the ancient night, grant me your power... Verto!" Its transformation Ark is a gilded silver bow with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its grip. The transformation sequence is initiated when the bowstring is drawn back and released. The Moon Maiden's primary weapon is a bow and arrow called El'Liet.  “The Arc Knight” True Name: ???? Weapon: Sword, Shield, Spear, or Hammer Pactmaker: Orren A Knight created through a combination of Yshrenian magic and Balandor science. The so-called "Arc Knight" was created for Orren by Framboise, using the strange gem given to him by Don Phibianacci as the Knight's Ark. This Knight has no known name, nor a known transformation incantation, and its appearance and armament have been known to vary. Currently it holds the form of an emerald warrior and wields a great emerald warhammer, the Gigantic Hammer (later Drega). The Arc Knight's transformation Ark is a chakram-like weapon with the symbol of the Yshrenian Empire on its central balance point. The transformation sequence is initiated when the Ark is thrown outward by the Pactmaker, allowing the bladed disc to extend to its full size. The Arc Knight is fully customization and can wield a variety of swords, spears, hammers, and shields depending on the whims of its Pactmaker.  ● White Knight Chronicles LP trailer (A not-at-all self-indulgent thing I made for the Shadows of the Empire LP thread, featuring the voices of Blind Sally and nine-gear crow!). ● White Knight Chronicles I Promo Trailer – “The Travellers” (English Version) ● White Knight Chronicles II Promo Trailer - “The Battlefield Flower” (English Version) ● White Knight Chronicles Tokyo Game Show 2006 Announce Demo (c/o PlayScope Trailers) IE: The false promise Level-5 sold everyone on.  Blind Sally decides to tell Leonard's story from Leonard's POV.      Blind Sally posted:( Senerio just wants Yulie to get some pants. A DECENT PAIR OF PANTS!  nine-gear crow joins the proud Something Awful tradition of mercilessly mocking Tim Buckley (three years too late to be funny).         Ghostwoods insults the memory of Stan Laurel by associating him with this LP.  No Gravitas rewrites the opening hours of the first game into a crazy purgatorial drama. Go read it. janusmaxwell does a better job writing a sidestory for the in-LP narrative than Akihiro Hino did actually writing the game. And an encounter between Avatar Orren and Emperor Madors. PoptartsNinja comments on the similarities between the deaths of Optimus Prime and Archduke Dalam in video format. PoptartsNinja posted:[Emperor Fedoras] And a MONTAGE! Elite tells the story of Sir Cyrus of Balandor... with as much effort as it deserves to be told.  SystemLogoff helps Yulie fight evil by moonlight and win love by daylight.      SystemLogoff posted:You know, it almost makes you wonder where Miu got the energy for that Cannon. SystemLogoff posted:At least 'nard can't screw up your game genie. Magnus Ragnar sends Leonard to sleep with the fishes.  Veriun let's Orren have a nice quiet moment of contemplation.  Waffleman_ proves High Priest Ledom is the very model of a... You get the picture. Waffleman_ posted:I am the very model of a modern JRPG villain, RelentlessImp insults the literary genius of T.S. Eliot by associating him with this LP. RelentlessImp posted:(With apologies to T.S. Eliot) RelentlessImp posted:(And now I insult Dylan Thomas)  Lunethex sincerely believes that Level-5 CEO Akihiro Hino is the root of all wordly evil.   FIRST CAVALRY     SECOND CAVALRY        THIRD CAVALRY     CANNON FODDER 
nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 07:15 on May 16, 2015 |
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Dec 24, 2013 09:02
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Cisna: The game is up.
Pedro: Cor blimey, is it ever hot in here!
M'Lady! 
: Fire the Mana Cannon!
: What! No! Nooooooooooooooooooo
: I can grant you anything you desire.
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 Just so we all known who to blame once the poo poo really hits the fan. Sony published it...  SCE Japan Studio helped craft it...  D3 localized it...  And Level-5 made it. This game was the brainchild of a man named Akihiro Hino. Remember his name, you'll be hearing it a lot over the course of this journey. And on that note, Let's Play White Knight Chronicles I & II.  Listen to my story… Wait. This seems familiar.   Tidus: Listen to my story…Oh. Ooooooooh. Ew. Okay, gently caress that noise. Hello there. My name is Orren, and this is my story… Dammit! Just come here and let me tell you how I got here. It’s the story of a great adventure starring a bunch of not-so-great people. Myself excluded, of course. I’m just along for the ride. This is the story of a boy, a girl, and a magic suit of armor, and the fate of the world. And failure. Lots, and lots of failure. This is the White Knight Chronicle. Gods help us all…  Aaaagh. loving loading screens.  CUTSCENE: “General, I give you Balandor…”  We open our little adventure in a peaceful, sunlit valley high in the mountains. The birds are singing, the butterflies are fluttering, the wind is blowing peacefully…  …And the warhorses are charging.   A strange group of ominous-yet-still-silly-looking men thunder through the valley on horseback, led by a man in curiously spikey black armour, a dwarf with a silly haircut, and a pale thin guy with green hair, horns, elf ears and an eye patch. We haven’t hit peak anime yet, but we’re closing in on Robert Jordan territory real fast and we’re not 10 seconds into this game.  The horses come to a stop on a cliffside and we get our first look at this mysterious man in the impractical black armour and his creepy red-eyed death horse. I wonder if this guy is kind of evil? I think he might be evil. What do you think? Spoiler alert: He’s totally evil.  His trusty death-steed reares up and whinnies for no good reason...  We see a castle town down below in the distance… Oh crap! I think these guys are scouting out an attack on Disneyland!   Belcitane: General, I give you Balandor.Oh, nevermind, it’s just Balandor.   General Dragias: (Not impressed…)You and me both, buddy. I should probably introduce this group of a-holes, shouldn’t I? The skeevy midget with the crazy eyes and stupid hair is Belcitane. As you can tell by his clothing and shoulder armour, he appears to be some sort of military leader. The Darth Vader-looking guy is General Dragias. As you can tell by his title, he is a military leader of some sort. He has even worse fashion sense and modesty than Belcitane does. When you dress like that, you just don’t give a drat about anything. The guy with the horns and green armour and green hair and eye patch and elf ears who we’ve only seen in long shots and from behind so far is Shapur. I’m only pointing this out because he won’t become relevant to the plot for another 14 chapters. But it’s nice that they felt the need to stick him in there somewhere so he doesn’t just come out of nowhere when his time finally comes… …Unlike a lot of other stuff in this game.  Belcitane: Heh heh heh. Yes, General Dragias. Dragias: I didn’t say anything. Belcitane: What? You honestly expect me to pass up a chance to get a good monologue in? I’m not that kind of guy. Dragias: Should I even…? Never mind. (You know what? I’m just going to pretend you’re a giant anthropomorphic duck or something every time you speak to me from now on. Yeah, that’ll help me get through this.) Belcitane: I think tonight’s celebration will be one to remember.  Dragias: (Perfect.) I have a bad feeling about this, kids. I’m talking about this game, I mean. Okay, enough of the prelude, let’s get on with this horror show. Title card me!  No, I meant the game’s title card! …What do you mean ‘Not until Chapter IV?’ What is this, Kingdom Hearts II? Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu—  CUTSCENE: The Hooded Man CUTSCENE MUSIC: “The Kingdom of Blandor” (Unreleased Track) Anyway, this is the Kingdom of Balandor, with its castle so unnecessarily decorative that the Walt Disney Corporation sent them a letter saying “guys, tone it down a little.” Balandor is the home of a good chunk of our main cast. The city of Balandor is the capital of the Kingdom of Balandor (real creative there guys), one of three great nations on the continent of Nadias in the world of… the world. This place doesn’t really have a name, and even the name ‘Nadias’ doesn’t appear in-game, only on the soundtrack. The overworld theme is literally called “The Continent of Nadias.”  The city is bustling with activity today. Travellers and merchants from all across the kingdom are flooding into the city for the 18th birthday festivities of Balandor’s royal heir, Princess Cisna. Make your Cis-whatever jokes here before Blind Sally does. Please. I’m begging you…    Amid the bustling crowds, a rather conspicuous-looking man in a hood and robe wanders in to the city cradling a long, curiously wrapped object that’s not at all suspicious or anything. I mean, look at him. He’s probably a monk or something. He’s harmless. I bet that thing is presents for children. Long, thin presents for children. Or a painting set. Conspicuous, suspicious-looking people with painter’s tubes always carry only art supplies in them, right?   Guardsman: Hey, you with the hood! Not so fast.Luckily, this guard shows an ounce of sense, a rare commodity in this game, and does his job properly, stopping and frisking the weirdo hooded stranger. …Well maybe not frisking. I mean this isn’t New York. Haioooooo!    Hooded Man: Hm? You wouldn’t be talking to me, would you? Hooded Man: Surely you’ve better things to look up than the pockmarks and wrinkles of a tired old man, no? Guardsman: Yeah yeah, you know how many people try to use that ‘tired old man’ excuse? You could be a wizard for all I know! Are you a wizard? Let me see your Wizard Card. Hooded Man: …Oh, bollocks. NIIIIIIIIILES! Did you pack my Wizard Card?! Guardsman: I said, take off the hood and show me your face!  Guardsman: Oh gods! Never mind! Stop showing me your face! STOP IT! But of course, if there’s one thing White Knight Chronicles can’t stand it’s competence. The horrifying red glow in the hooded man’s eye suggests something foul is afoot. I knew this was too good to last.  Guardsman: Hurgh! The guard drops his spear and staggers about in a daze. When he speaks again, it’s with a muttering, half-vacant voice. Guardsman: …Good enough. Proceed. Hooded Man: Oh, many thanks. You soldiers are truly a credit to your king. Hooded Man: (Whizaaaaaaaaard). Guardsman #2: Hey, you sure? I don’t like the looks of him… Guardsman #1: Urgh… Guardsman #1: I think I peed a little. With his entry into the city secured, our elderly hooded miscreant now appears free to carry out his plans unimpeded. Because the second guard that wasn’t brainwashed at all just let him walk away didn’t try to, you know, stop him, or question why his partner suddenly turned into a braindead husk of a man, or even pass along word that a strange man in a very conspicuous hood and robe carrying a giant wrapped… something-or-other somehow made it into the city and is clearly up to no good. See what I mean about competency? It has only just begun to die a slow, painful death in this game.  Hooded Man: Any moment now. The prophecies were very specific about where it would begin. Hooded Man: Thank the gods it was one of those rare explicit prophecies. It even came with directions here to Balandor too. CUTSCENE: The Princess & The Peace Treaty CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Recollection”(Disc 1, Track 14) Meanwhile, at Sleeping Beauty’s castle…  Presenting Her Highness, Princess Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca—oh, wait. Wrong Kari Wahlgren princess character. This, good little children of the Internet, is Princess Cisna, the young woman whom all the day’s and night’s festivities are in honour of. Here she stands, looking out over her kingdom, thinking of all the sweeping changes she’s going to make once she has her father assassinated and assumes the throne… Wait, what?  Speaking of her father, here is His Grace, King Valtos of Balandor, and his manservant Sarvain. I mean, his chancellor Sarvain.  King Valtos: Cisna…Get ready to hear that name a lot, folks.   Sarvain: Your Grace? How does our young princess fare today? King Valtos: Look at her, Sarvain. She’s the picture of her mother. King Valtos: Ten painful years since that day and my Cisna speaks not a word. Sarvain: Oh gods, not this story again… King Valtos: You asked how she’s feeling, so I’m going to tell you, dammit. Sarvain: Exposit, you mean. The scene shifts to a great battle many years ago at the height of the War of the Two Kingdoms. Archduchy of Faria, a nation equal in power to Balandor from the far west lays siege to Balandor Castle. As you may notice, the Farians all have horns and elf ears not unlike our old friend Shapur does. Yep. Shapur is a Farian. And the Farians are this game’s version of elves. Wood elves, to be exact. Also note, another little nice touch of foreshadowing / uncommonly deft storytelling for this game: the guy in the centreframe with six horns on his head instead of two, that’s Archduke Dalam, the leader of Faria, whom we will be meeting in the flesh momentarily.   Things take a turn for the unbelievably terrible as the Farian army breaches the city garrison and pours in to the castle itself. Meanwhile, inside the castle…  An assassin has snuck in to the royal chambers using the attack as a diversion and has killed Queen Floraine, Valtos’s wife, and Cisna’s mother.  …Right in front of Cisna. Well, poo poo.  No wonder why she’s a mute.  Young Cisna gasps in horror as her mother collapses before her and breaths her last.   King Valtos, having successfully driven off Archduke Dalam and the Farians, comes bursting into the room just in time for the horrific aftermath.  The assassin, his job done, turns and makes his escape…  Right out the goddamn window like a champ. This guy just fell like 500 feet straight down, most likely to his death… Or did he? That big honkin’ nose suggests otherwise, if you know what I mean.   Valtos, aghast at his wife’s death, collapses in front of her.  King Valtos: Floraine! Oh, gods, no… FLORAAAAAAAAAAAAINE! Aaaaaand we’re back to the present. Sarvain: Are you certain we should proceed with the ball? Presenting her to the people now might only add to their alarm. King Valtos: Oh, what nonsense. None of those attending expect Cisna to speak. Her presence and her composure will suffice. King Valtos: (I just hope she doesn’t wet herself again like she did at her quinceañera.) King Valtos: Still… I would give all my riches to see a real smile cross her face again. Sarvain: You know, sire, I heard her say just the other day that the one thing that would make her truly happy was if you gave all your wealth to me. King Valtos: And just what did she sound like when she said that, Sarvain? Sarvain: Well, I tried… King Valtos: Floraine, she would know. She always knew how to make Cisna laugh. Sarvain: Sire… Forgive me, but the princess’s heartbreaking condition begs the old question. Why in creation are we making peace with the same people who robbed her of her mother? Sarvain: Allegedly… King Valtos: My wife is gone, Sarvain. War has taken her, just as it has taken so many before her. But war will not give her back. King Valtos: The Farians speak out tongue. We ought to trade words with them from now on, not lives. Sarvain doesn’t seem to think this is a good idea…  Sensing a pause in the exposition, Cisna toddles over to present herself to her father.  Princess Cisna: (Gods, is he telling that story about how Mother died again? He needs to get over that.)  King Valtos: Oh, Cisna! You look radiant. That dress suits you beautifully. King Valtos: And, um… Your hair. Yes! Your hair is… long. Um… How about those Cowboys? Sarvain: Father of the Year, ladies and gentlemen. King Valtos: I have the power to exile you, you know. I hear Albana is absolutely dreadful this time of year. Sarvain: It’s dreadful ANY time of the year thanks to that drat frog. She’s trying not to laugh at her father’s ridiculous crown. And probably picturing what her own crown is going to look like. Princess Cisna: (…I want something flashy, something that says “I own you. I own everyone in this room.” Yeeeah.) However, before Cisna can spring her regicidal coup, a Castleguardsman arrives, bringing the King the news he’s been waiting all day for. Castleguardsman: Your Grace. King Valtos: What is it? Castleguardsman: Archduke Dalam of Faria will be arriving shortly. King Valtos: Good. See that he is given a proper welcome. Castleguardsman: Boiling oil and a rain of arrows? King Valtos: No! We don’t do that anymore. …Except when Count Drisdall and his hippie son show up. Guy’s a dick. Castleguardsman: Yes, sire. Also, a group calling themselves the Marcus Revellers are outside the gates. They say they wish to perform in honour of Her Highness’s special day. Shall I turn them away? Castleguardsman: Shall I ready the boiling oil and rain of arrows? King Valtos: A circus, today? Sarvain: A gift! What day could be more deserving of a little extra celebration? Princess Cisna: (My coronation, maybe?) Valtos looks to his daughter, taking her apathetic thousand-yard stare as a sign of approval. King Valtos: Very well, let them into the city then. Sarvain: Yes sire. Look at this smirking son of a bitch. LOOK AT HIM! Sarvain: (Everything is going according to plan…) Princess Cisna: (Everything is going according to plan…) King Valtos: (Everything is going just great! Gods, I hope that circus has hotdogs. It’s been years since I had a good hotdog. Not since… Oh gods, FLORAAAAAAAAAAINE!)Also, I think this is the last time a dutch angle is used properly in this game. I might be wrong though.  CUTSCENE: Archduke Dalam Arrives Meanwhile, just outside Sleeping Beauty’s Castle…   Sir Cyrus, Captain of the Castleguard, swaggers up to the main gate in preparation for Archduke Dalam’s arrival.  Cyrus: Anything to report? Castleguardsman: No sir. CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Farian March” (Unreleased Track) And what an arrival it is, folks! A raucous procession comes thundering into the city.  Farian banners held high, confetti falling from… The open sky, I guess.  Exotic beasts, palanquins, colourgards, half the drat Farian army. The Archduke doesn’t exactly travel lightly, one assumes.  In fact, this kind of reminds me of something…  The Farian Army: Prince Ali, mighty is he, Ali Abab— Archduke Dalam: Stop it! I am not getting sued again because of you people.That, and there’s already been enough Disney jokes in this post.  The Archduke’s arrival has drawn quite a crowd. It seems as though all of Balandor is out in the streets to welcome the man… who nearly razed their city to the ground the last time he was here. Yaaaaay, peace talks!  Then again, no one really wants to try and pull the ‘uppity war victim seeking petty revenge’ thing with the Farian Red Guard crawling all over the city streets. These guys look silly, but they’re deadly at any distance. Don’t ask me how they got those helmets on their heads with those barbed horns…  And here he is, the man himself. And because Faria’s thing apparently is horns, Archduke Dalam has decided to just embrace it completely, and arrives in town on a palanquin made out of what I can only assume are the antlers of some great majestic Miazaki-esque Forest Spirit creature that the Archduke personally killed, dressed, and de-horned himself. All in the name of creating the image of a man who’s bloody chair says “I am not to be messed with.”  Castleguardsman: That is quite a procession. Cyrus does not seem to agree. Cyrus: I hope the Archduke has enough pillows. Warmongering Farian scum. Cyrus: I mean, he’s got nice taste in chairs, buuuut half my soldiers are orphans because of him. So… It’s kind of a wash. Archduke Dalam of Faria, ladies and gentleman. A man exhibiting the perfect blend of “I’m a living god,” and “I look ridiculous, don’t I?”   Suddenly, Dalam calls a halt to the procession in front of Cyrus. Oh dear, I think he heard Cyrus smack talking him. Archduke Dalam: Who are you?And does Archduke Dalam need to smack a bitch up?  Cyrus: I am Cyrus of Balandor. Captain of the Castleguard. Your Excellency, we are most honoured by your visit.[  Archduke Dalam: Hmm. Are you now? Tell me, sir. How is His Grace? Is he doing well these days? Cyrus: He is doing quite well, Your Excellency. Archduke Dalam: Is he now? That’s good to hear. Now then, if you will excuse me. Archduke Dalam: Bitches.  With that digression to establish how big of a bug Cyrus has up his rear end about Faria out of the way, Archduke Dalam of the Awesome Chair orders the procession back on its way toward the castle.  Castleguardsman: Does His Grace really hope to make peace with these people? Cyrus: Peace with the Farians? The idea makes my blood boil. Has the King forgotten so soon? Cyrus: I don’t care how cool their chairs are. It’s the principle of the matter!Or maybe you’re just racist, Cyrus. Did you ever think of it that way? No, I bet you didn’t. I mean, Dalam seems like a pretty chill guy. His army’s not setting anything on fire… this time. And he was genuinely interested in the well-being of King Valtos and was pleased to hear he was doing quite well. The fact that he’s even here right now under peaceful pretenses says a lot more about him than you grumbling about it does about you. Hell, I bet you could pull any Farian soldier out of Dalam’s needlessly spectacular honourguard parade and he or she would probably have an equal amount of horror stories about what Balandor did to Faria over the course of the war. War is a two-way street, dude, and the old saying goes "If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies." Look, I like the guy and all, but Cyrus is bit of a dickhead.  So with the ominous images of the asses of giant fantastical beasts sauntering through the castle gates, we now shift scene again to meet our actual main characters. God, this prologue goes on forever…  CUTSCENE: Leonard & Orren ~ Departing for Parma CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Rapacci Wine Company” (Disc 1, Track 3) Meanwhile, out in the merchant quarter of town, the echoes from the fireworks being shot off by Archeduke Dalam’s “look at me plebs!” procession foretell a momentous happening only seconds away now.  We come now to Rapacci Wines, an otherwise unassuming wine shop here in Balandor. They say big things have small beginnings. Well, you can’t get much smaller than this. …Unless you’re a Papitaur, or Belcitane, maybe.   Orren: So there I was… Holy poo poo! There I am!Our main character and colour commentator, ladies and gentlemen! Know him, love him,  And here we also meet Rapacci, the owner of the creatively named Rapacci Wines. Business is kind of slow today, apparently, seeing as how he’s got Orren off in a corner doing an inventory on a wine rack Rapacci already knows exactly how many bottles are in. But that’s just him. Now, Rapacci himself is a minor character in the grand scheme of things, but he’s also one of the first non-human, non-Farian characters we will be meeting. Rappaci is a Warg. Wargs have this bizzare TV Tropes-style sexual dimorphism thing going on. Male Wargs look all ogre-ish, like Rappaci here does. Female Wargs just look like normal human females with cat ears. …Oh White Knight Chronicles.  Oh, and this guy’s here too. This is Leonard. He’s our hero. …Or, he’s going to try to be. His appearance is met with what is going to become a natural reaction to whenever he appears in a scene: irrational anger.  Rapacci: Dammit, Leonard!  Leonard: Woah! Rapacci: Where the hell have you been? You better not have forgotten what today is! Leonard: Yeah, I know.  Leonard: Today is the Princess’ ball. She’s introduced to society and we step into the big time, got it. Rapacci: So why the hell are you seven hours late for work? Leonard: What? Rapacci: It’s one o’clock in the afternoon! You were supposed to be here at SUNUP! Hell, the intern got here on time, and I’m pretty sure he’s mute! Orren: We had a two hour conversation this morning about how much you hate this ‘Leonard’ character. Hell, you INTERVIEWED ME before you hired me! I am capable of talking. Rapacci: You’ll keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you, boozeslave. Now, as for you! Leonard: Whaaaat? Rapacci: This is a momentous day for Rapacci Wines! The court picked us to supply wine for a party at the castle! We gotta do it right and earn the shop a bona fide royal commendation! Orren: Wait, does Latin exist in this world? Leonard: What’s Latin Orren: Umm… Rapacci: Ah, I’ve worked my fingers to the bone to get this far… And he starts crying… Orren: …I should have applied at the armour merchant’s. Leonard: Look, I’ll leave for the Parma winery now, and I’ll be back with time to spare. Rapacci: Ha! You better! I rented a beastwain at the village for you. Use it to cart the wine back here like your life depends on it.  Rapacci: ‘Cause it does! Rapacci: I’m serious, kid. I will loving murder you if you screw this up. Orren: …I know how to dispose of a body! Rapacci: See, I knew I hired you for a reason. Leonard: Who is that guy, anyway? Rapacci: And while you’re at it, that’s the new guy.  Rapacci: Take him with you. Leonard: Hi there, I’m Leonard. Orren: Orren. I’ve heard… um… stuff about— Suddenly, a frickin’ mug comes flying through the air, aaaaaaand…    Bullseye! Leonard: OW! Rapacci: Just get your butts moving! You can talk on the road! Leonard: Alright, gods… Leonard: Let's see... We have to fetch the barrels from the Parma warehouse using the beastwain. Orren: I know what the angry ogre wants us to do.  Leonard: That is a lot of work. Orren: Yeah, jobs usually involve that sort of stuff. Leonard: So what did you do before Rapacci hired you, anyway? Orren: Bounty hunter. It’s where I got this sweet jacket from. Leonard: Really? Orren: I’ll let you decide if I’m telling the truth or not. Leonard: About the jacket or…? Orren: It’s gonna be a loooong walk to Parma, isn’t it?  Leonard: Well, let’s get going. CUTSCENE MUSIC: “New Allies” (Unreleased Track) No, actually, the party just joined Orren.  AREA MUSIC: “Balandor Castletown” (Disc 1, Track 4) So now, a full ten minutes since you clicked the “New Game” option (or New Game+, in this instance), we finally get control over our party and are free to roam around Balandor. There’s not much to do right now, given the linearity of the game, so we’re just going to run to the next cutscene.  Leonard (and Orren) run down the somehow completely empty main street of Balandor castletown, despite there being like 1,000 people here just a minute ago.  CUTSCENE: The Marcus Revellers And look who’s coming along to meet them… Orren: ...So then he says, ‘the clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to’—are you even listening to me?   I need an adult… Hooded Man: Behold, the ravages of age… Leonard just looks like he crapped every pair of pants he has ever or will ever own. Leonard: Huh? The hooded man passes along on his way, leaving Leonard somehow feeling violated, most likely by his repugnant Old Man Stench. Not a care was given about the encounter by Orren.  Leonard: Gods, I’m gonna smell that in my DREAMS tonight…  CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Watching the Permanence Band” (Disc 1, Track 9) The duo suddenly find themselves in the midst of a throng of people all rushing toward the city gates to see what the new commotion is about.   A crowd is blocking the view, but luckily, Orren is tall enough to see over most of it. Leonard is not. He is tiny.  Even MORE strange beasts come thundering into the city, hauling…  A mobile stage… Oh hey, it’s that circus thing. But who’s that comically squat guy standing on it waving his arms about?   Someone Who’s Totally NOT Belcitane: Ladies and gentlemen! Young and old of Balandor! In honor of Her Highness’ coming-of-age-day, I give you wonders aplenty and sights unlike any! Someone Who’s Totally NOT Belcitane: Step right up, the Marcus Revellers have arrived!…Oh poo poo.  The ‘Marcus Revellers’ begin to put on their show for the crowd.      You know, for an incognito army, these guys are pretty dedicated to their craft…   Leonard: I’ve never seen a circus. This is gonna be some party. Orren: Eh, I used to be in a circus. It’s not that glamorous. Leonard: Why’d you leave? Orren: This crazy princess showed up one day and we put on a special show for her. She kept making our star acrobat do more and more dangerous stunts. I think she might have been trying to blackmail her into something, but we never found out, because after her costume caught fire… Oh that poor girl. Leonard: Still, was it as fun as they say it is? Orren: How far is to Parma?And there, finally, is the end of the story section for Chapter I of Let’s Play White Knight Chronicles I & II. Next stop, Parma. 
 BALANDOR CASTLETOWN 
nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 04:55 on Mar 18, 2015 |
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Dec 24, 2013 09:03
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 For Chapter 1, there’s jack-all that’s relevant for what we’re doing, but I’m gonna go over the basics for now just so I don’t have to do it later.  To start off, these are our save points. They’re called Logic Stones. There's usually about three of four in any given location, and they’re incredibly hard to miss. All you need to do is walk up to one, and press the X button after you auto target it.  Here’s the Logic Stone menu. You’ve got four options, Save, Items, Heal/Repair, and Re-Customize Avatar. Technically it’s only three options, but I’ll get to that. Save – Pretty self-explanatory. This is where you save your game progress. Selecting save brings up the typical PlayStation 3-style save data screen. Nothing worth noting…  Items – This part is really only applicable out in various fields as in towns you can do this anywhere. While out in a field area, Logic Stones allow you to withdraw and deposit weaponry from characters’ personal item bags to/from the general storage area and other characters’ item bags, which you can see there under “Equipment Storage” and “Item Storage”. Weapons, armour, and accessories are stored under “Equipment Storage” and consumable items and loot/materials are stored under “Item Storage”. Each character can hold up to 20 individual items, and quantities of up to 10 consumable items (which take up a single item slot). Key Items are storyline-based items. It's plot coupon storage. Online Items are items related to the now-defunct online portion of the game. It's where the things purchased from the PlayStation Store are kept. There’s nothing here worth explaining right now. Basically, anything you buy from the PS Store you buy at your own discretion because a lot of it is just rip-off bait.  Heal/Repair – You can heal your characters and repair your weapons/armor at Logic Stones. You need to pay cash to do it, but still. Often times, the Logic Stone will automatically heal you and restore your MP if you just walk up to it and open its menu. I’ll cover equipment wear and tear when we get to the section of the game where it’s discussed. Since Leonard and Orren are both at full health and their equipment is in proper order, both options are grayed out at the moment.  And lastly, Re-customize Avatar – Again, more rip-off bait from White Knight Chronicles’s failed micro-transaction economy. In order to re-customize your Avatar’s physical appearance in any way, you need to buy either a Makeover Ticket or a Full Makeover Ticket from the PlayStation Store, which will run you about $5 and $10, respectively. A simple Makeover Ticket lets you redo your Avatar’s appearance. A Full Makeover Ticket lets you redo their appearance and resets all their learned skills, allowing you to start over from scratch. Again, both these things are RIP OFFS and were designed purely to try and drag the game kicking and screaming into profitability along with every other piece of on-disc DLC up on the PS Store. And wouldn’t you know, it failed miserably. Nice try though, Level-5 / D3. …Moving on.  So here we are in the actual menu of White Knight Chronicles. This can be accessed any time except while in combat by pressing the Triangle button. You see here we’ve got six options available: Combat Setup, Items, Magic, Learn Skills, Travelouge, and System. Current party members are shown on the right hand side of the screen, along with their present status and level. Right now all we have is Leonard and Orren, with the space for the third party member presently vacant. But that’s coming.  Let’s take a peek inside Combat Setup first. The entire party is listed in the menu on the left. Again, this will fill up with characters as we progress through the game. Individual character stats are shown on the right. You can select each individual character by pressing the X button over their tab. A blue circle in front of a character’s name denotes active party members. The silver cross in front of Leonard’s name means that he is the current party leader. He’s the character who you control in battle and is the character who represents your party while inside a town. You can see two different options at the bottom there: Change Combatants and Change Character. Change Combatants lets you swap out party members. Change Character lets you change party leaders.  Going into a character’s tab opens up yet another menu. Here we’ve got five options: Edit Commands, Equip, ???, Change Tactics, and Command Set Settings. You can quickly flip between each character’s specific equipment page by pressing the L2 and R2 triggers on the DualShock3 controller. In the two panels on the right you’ve got the character’s current experience levels, EXP till level up, current skill points, their current AI battle tactics, and their equipment load out. In the far right panel is their HP and MP, their available Action Chips or AC, and their stats. ATK (Attack) = Weapon attack power DEF (Defense) = Equipment defensive power MAG (Magic) = Weapon magic attack power RES (Resistance) = Equipment magic defensive power STR (Strength) = Base strength (contributes to attack power) VIT (Vitality) = Base defense (contributes to defensive power and HP) INT (Intelligence) = Base magic attack power SPR (Spirit) = Base magic defensive power AGI (Agility) = Character speed DEX (Dexterity) = Evasion stats The coloured icons below that are your elemental and status effect resistance levels. The higher those numbers are, the less you will be damaged by / effected by these types of attacks. Going down column-by-column: red is fire, blue is water, green is wind, brown is earth; purple is poison, orange is paralysis, light blue is sleep, and gray is silence.  This is the Equip Commands page. This is where you customize what skills you intend to use in battle for each character, as well as (in theory) customize what skills the AI controlling characters 2 and 3 will be using… If the AI wasn’t completely incompetent. But more on that later. What you see at the top of the screen is the Command Bar, an obtuse and unwieldy thing that pops up when you enter combat mode. Again, more on that to come. You’ve got three rows of seven slots available, allowing for 21 usable skills per character. Unlike a lot of other things in the game, this part doesn’t scale, so you will quickly find this entire menu filled up in short order as you learn new skills. And there are a CRAP TON of skills in this game, so you’re really going to feel the pinch when it comes to prioritizing skill selections. But back in the here-and-now, Leonard only has four skills available to him: Slash, Lunging Strike, Thrust, and Heal, which are all equipped in bar one. The first three are short sword skills. They can only be used if Leonard has a short sword equipped. If you change his equipped weapon to, for instance, a long sword or a bow and arrow, these skills become useless and you have to go in to the menu and replace all his short sword skills with skills corresponding to his currently equipped weapon. It’s tedious and terrible and is a major reason I try to play each character with as close to their default weapon type as possible. As you can probably make out along the mid-screen tab there, there are nine tabs total: short sword skills, long sword skills, axe/hammer skills, spear skills, bow and arrow skills, staff skills, offensive magic, healing magic, and combos. Every skill a character has learned appears in its respective tab. Pressing the X button over the skill lets you set it where you want it to go on the Command Bar. If you press the Triangle button, you can replace a skill on the Command Bar with whatever skill you have currently selected. Pressing the L3 button automatically takes you to that character’s Learn Skill page, which I will be covering in just a moment, so keep your pants on.  Next up is the Equip tab. This is where you manage character equipment.   In this screen you’re presented with the character’s equipment loadout, their stats, and a depiction of their current weapon and armour loadout. Armour choices are by-and-large persistent throughout the game, meaning whatever you have equipped is what the characters will be wearing in like 90% of the game’s live-rendered cutscenes. As such, I intend to play the game with all the characters’s default equipment. Expect for Orren, for purely stylistic reasons. Sorry if I’m disappointing anyone.  Here. Here’s the Avatar’s default garb. You really prefer this to that kickass leather jacket and turtleneck? PLEASE DO NOT ANSWER THIS QUESTION SERIOUSLY  Anyway, back to Leonard. You have eight equipment areas: right-hand weapon, left-hand shield, shirt, gloves, pants, boots and two accessory options. All self-explanatory if you’re familiar with any form of modern RPG. Accessories, however, are broken up into four subtypes: earrings, rings, capes, and helmets. You cannot have two of each subtype equipped on a character at the same time, but you can mix and match between them to your heart's content. Fun fact: the fur collar on Orren’s jacket is actually a cape accessory from an armour set. Again its equipped for purely aesthetic reasons. Which also means its going to mysteriously disappear in certain cutscenes where the game auto-removes characters cape accessories, so just a head’s up. At the bottom of the equipment panel you can see the term Burden: Moderate. This is the total weight of all your equipment and items in each character’s item bag. There are three stages: Light, Moderate, and Heavy. This effects how quick that character’s ATB gage fills up in battle. The heavier they are, the slower it goes. Different weapons and armour have different weights to them. For example: a character equipped with standard clothes and a bow and arrow would be considered ‘Light’, a character with a short sword or spear and light armor would be a ‘Moderate’ character, whereas a character with an axe/hammer or long sword with heavy armour would be a ‘Heavy’ character. In the middle of the screen just at Leonard’s feet is the information panel. This panel shows each piece of equipment’s stats, what it specifically is, and its level requirement, and any other restriction on it. For example: the Basic Sword, Leonard’s default weapon, is a level 1+ sword, meaning if Leonard is any level over level 1, he can equip it. However, you can also see a teeny tiny image of Leonard’s face in the panel there. That means that only Leonard is able to equip that piece of equipment. Usually this only corresponds to things like characters’ default clothing items, or Incorruptus parts/weaponry. Leonard’s Basic Sword is the only weapon that’s locked down to a specific character.  What is this strange grayed out option with three question marks?  Covered in Chapter V  The fourth option is Change Tactics, a by-and-large useless option thanks to White Knight Chronicles’s head-up-its-rear end party AI.  Selecting this brings up five options: Auto, Go All Out, Conserve, Stay Safe, and Heal First. These are instructions for when the AI is controlling a character for how they operate in battle… allegedly. Auto is the game’s default state. It means characters 2 and 3 will just wail on enemies using default physical attacks. No magic. Because the AI isn’t smart enough to handle magic. Literally. I’m not making this up. Ask ANYONE who has played this game. The AI is useless. Go All Out transforms the character into a berserker. This is the option you pick if you want them to actually use magic in combat. However, once again the AI is so goddamn that it plays “Go All Out” to the T and results in your characters blowing through all their MP and AC as quickly as they can using skills meant to supplement standard attack practices, rather than comprise them. Level-5 stole the Ivalice Alliance’s battle mechanics from Final Fantasy XII, but forgot to also take XII’s AI and condition-based Gambit system while they were at it resulting in this parade of ineptitude. Conserve is an absolutely useless option. It just means that the AI won’t use items or magic. IE: STANDARD PROCEEDURE FOR THE AI! Stay Safe means the AI focuses on defending and stays out of the fray. They will occasionally cast healing, buff, and debuff spells, but only once in a blue moon if the spirit moves them to. Heal First is really the only semi-useful option in this list. It tells the AI to prioritize healing spells, which they will actually use, surprisingly. This is really good for people like me who like to rush into things all  because it means I don’t have to deal with White Knight Chronicles’s obtuse battle menu any more than I have to, nor do I have to pause while my current character takes like 30 seconds to cast a piddly 50 HP healing spell. Heal First got me up one side of this trainwreck of a game and down the other.Use it. Love it. Draw fan art of it.  And lastly for Combat Setup is Command Set Settings. This allows you to save up to five specific Command Bar setups and change between them at your leisure depending on the situation. Thrilling.  Since we’ve already covered Items, let’s move down to Magic.  In a nutshell, all your characters’ learned magic spells are listed here along with how many AC and how much MP they consume. Healing magic spells can be used from this menu while in towns, on the world map, and out the field. Support magic can be used while in the field only. And offensive magic cannot be used from this menu, period.  Next up is Learn Skills. This tab will often flash on and off if characters have unused skill points kicking around.  This takes you to the Skill Wheel. The icons on the wheel should be looking vaguely familiar to you by now, as they correspond to each weapon and magic type. You can see here that on Leonard’s wheel, there are a couple of grayed out spots. This is due to character weapon restrictions. Certain characters can only learn skill for certain weapons. Leonard, for example, can’t learn Staff or Spear-based skills.  Orren, however, being the Avatar character, can learn skills from all eight branches. The Avatar is the only character in the party who can do this. As you can see above, highlighting each weapon type shows both the number of skills each character has learned in this skill set as well as both the number of total skills in the set and the percentage of completion of that skillset. The bright blue area at the center of the  Let’s look at Leonard’s Divine Magic skills. You can see here a list of otherwise grayed out skills with ???’s in their place. These are skills whose requisite skills have not yet been learned. Once those skills are learned, they will become unlocked and learnable, provided you have the skill points to learn them. Welcome to the wonderful world of White Knight Chronicles multi-tiered lock system, where abilities, equipment, and even parts of the game itself are locked away behind at times insurmountable condition barriers. Again, this is because the game was designed to be a quasi-MMORPG, and this is just the start of the MMORPG’s bleedthrough into the single player portion of the game. Wait till we really get going. You’ll be taking bets on when I’ll be having a Kim Jong Ill-style rage-stroke by the time I’m done.   You can see here a few skills that are ostensibly learnable, only we lack the skill points to learn them. Also note the information panel at the bottom of the screen which tells you key facts about each skill. Once you learn as skill, the SP requirement is replaced with a gold star, as seen above. Hitting the Triangle button takes you directly to the Skill Equip screen.  Here’s the skill learning process in action.   Sweet merciful CHRIST! I can totally see why you guys are sticking around for this! Next up, we have the Travelouge. This is the Miscellaneous section of the menu.  In the Travelouge we’ve got five options: Quests, Errands, Bounty Requests, Statue Collection, and Help.  Quests are our side quest missions. They’re self-contained little stories which actually make up the bulk of what was once the online half of the game. I’ll cover them more in detail in a later update, as they’re superfluous to things right now. ...Hell, they're superfluous to the single-player game in general, honestly.  Errands, meanwhile, are by and large fetch quests done in single player mode. Certain characters in various towns will ask you to do something like talk to another character or kill a certain monster or bring them a certain item and you get experience, Guild Points, gold or items in return. Again, there are far more than necessary in the game, and the majority of them are just plain tedious. It only gets in to infuriating territory later on if you're any kind of completionist, as each (or some of, I can't really recall at the moment) weapon type's skill set's ultimate skill is locked away behind an errand. Fair enough, you say? WRONG. To reach some of these errands you need to have completed nearly all the errands leading up that errand in order to get that errand unlocked. Then you usually need to do something like bring the requester 5 of an item that has a literal 1% drop rate from a monster that can 1-shot kill you even if you're maxed out in stats and equipment and only upon doing that will the request be fulfilled and the skill unlocked. Just google "Flemron 108". This game is the devil.  Bounty Requests are exactly like Final Fantasy XII’s Marks. You pick up a contract at the Adventurer’s Guild and go out and defeat a rare monster in a given location and return to the Guild for a reward of cash, experience, and items. Some are worth your time, others not so much.  Statue Collection pertains to the online GeoRama and Guild sections of the game which are now offline, so for the sake of this LP, this section is useless. Hell, even when the game was fully operational, only the nerdiest, spreadsheet jockeiest shut-ins did statue binding and collecting. I never even understood the purpose of it, and now, I never will…  Aw, who am I kidding, the less stuff I have to cover in this game the better.   And lastly, Help is one giant tutorial section. It covers everything I have or will cover in these sections in a very handy infographic manner.  Por ejemplo. If you really want, I can post screenshots of all of these slides in the Miscellaneous section. Also note, the Travelouge is continuously updated across both games as new gameplay mechanics unveil themselves. The final option, which I’m not exploring, is the Settings option, because I am not so obsessive-compulsive that I will LP a freaking settings menu. You want to know the mysteries of White Knight Chronicles’s Settings feature, buy the drat game and explore it yourself. So that is FINALLY it for the menus. Now, let’s get to exploring Balandor Castletown.  So heading east of Rapacci Wines, in the exact opposite direction of where we need to be going for plot purposes, we head towards the merchant quarter of town where all the shops are. Note that just like FFXII, in towns your entire party is represented by your party leader alone.  Pressing the R2 trigger brings up the full map screen. You saw the minimap down there in the right hand corner. The map shows off where you are (the arrow with the trail in the centre screen), where your destination is (the flashing gold star), as well as points of interest such as shops and Logic Stones. You can scroll through the entire map using the D-pad and snap the map back to your location using the Triangle button. You can open the map anywhere at any time, provided you’re not in combat. For the full composite map of Balandor Castletown, check the Area Maps header in the OP or at the end of this post. Balandor is locked down at the moment for plot reasons, and you can only get out by heading towards the star and triggering the next cutsene, but we’re going to head towards the merchant quarter just so I can show you the game’s shops.  First up is the Armory. It’s denoted on the map by the little sword and shield icon.  Balandor’s armory is run by Marsha, a female Warg. You can barely make it out, but she’s got cat ear and stripes on her face.  Except by every other shop in the game…  Talking to Marsha opens up the shop menu. You’ve got several options: Buy, Sell, Repair, Enhance, Dismantle, and Appraise Equipment.  In the Buy section, you have a listing of available weapons and armour all sorted by type. You can see their price, status, and even a representation of what the weapon and armor looks like.  Much the same for armor, including what the equipment looks like on a blank character model. You can flip back and forth between a male and female model using the Square button. Here we see the male model showing off the Cotton Kirtle, the Avatar’s default garb.  And here’s the female model. Sometimes the variations between genders in terms of equipment are minor, other times its just embarrassing, as the game sometimes tends to perv out and go into ‘battle bikini’ territory, with female armour variations showing off far more skin than their male counterparts do. Paging Anita Sarkeesian…  Sell and Repair are self-explanatory, no real need to cover them, especially since we’ve already kind-of covered repair and will cover it more in depth later. Now, as for Enhance…  Here’s a handy infographic that pops up when you first enter the shop screen regarding equipment enhancement. It outlines the three key enhancement catalyst item types needed to enhance weapons and armor along with various other whatnots that you need to farm like a madman to get at times.  Here’s the basic enhancement screen. All weapons and most armor can be enhanced to up their strength, defence, and elemental attributes. Shields and accessories cannot be enhanced. Depending on how powerful the equipment piece is, it can be enhanced 5, 10, or 20 times, though each subsequent level of enhancement requires more quantities of increasingly rarer items. Again, enhancing the higher end stuff was usually only done online, and to do it in a purely single player format is drat near impossible because the game scales steeply in favour of the online component in many places where instead of just your Avatar and two AI party members running around, its meant to be upwards of 8 Avatars, each comparably equipped with similarly ridiculous World of WarCraft reject crap. And now with the online elements defunct, the already crippled game is officially broken by design.  Por ejemplo, just to get Orren’s basic sword up to a +1 enhancement status I need 1 Chromium Pearl Lv. 1, and one Ghost Walnut. Whatever those are.  Please don’t make me go down this rabbit hole again. I barely survived it the first time. Please, NO! I BEG YOU! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!  Moving on to Dismantle. If selling things isn’t your game, you can also dismantle any piece of non-character-specific equipment into various items. Some equipment yields useful items, others give you… a bloody rock. White Knight Chronicles, go sit in a corner and think about this for a moment. GET IN THE CORNER! …I skipped by Appraise Equipment too fasts, but that’s because, again, it’s only relevant to the online part of the game. Occasionally on quests you will encounter unidentified items, either in chests, from monster drops, or in quest loot. You can then take them to Armories and for a fee, they will turn the item into a useable piece of equipment. Again, just like in Final Fantasy XII.  Laters, babe.  This shop with the griffin and lance logo is the Adventurer’s Guild. As you can barely see on the minimap, it’s denoted by the lance icon. This is where you go to pick up bounty contracts, buy quest contracts, and exchange Daliah, the special currency earned only be completing quests and occasionally bounties and errands, for otherwise unique items. Again, down the rabbit hole we go…  This is Malcolm, the proprietor of Balandor’s Adventurer’s Guild.  At this point, however, the Adventurer’s Guild is locked down and won’t be available until we clear the game’s opening sequence… In another three chapters.  The same goes for Harvey, Balandor’s Incorruptus mechanic. Pretty much everything about this shop is spoilers, but you can probably ferret out what it’s about by REMEMBERING THE PREMISE OF THE GAME! Incorruptus Workshops are denoted by the helmet and wrench icon on maps, although honestly, from a logical standpoint I don’t even know why they exist, given what we’re going to learn about Incorrupti in the coming chapters.  This shop here is the accessory shop.  It’s run by Catherine. Don’t worry, she always says that, even if you drop a million G into her shop. Catherine is a clever saleswoman. Fun fact: the guy standing out in front of Marsha’s Armory is stalking her and will gleefully perv out to you if you talk to him.    Here you can buy accessories like capes, rings, earrings, and eventually even eyeglasses and helmets. You can see here, just like the armory, capes will be modeled for you before you buy them. Earrings and rings, however, are invisible equipment.  Secluded away near the back end of Balandor is a shop that doesn’t even have an icon on the map yet. It will, however be denoted by a hammer icon. This is the Binding Post.  It’s run by Gaspard, an anthropomorphic toad…  Who’s Cockney…  And an a-hole! I’ve pretty much described every Toad in this game right here. Not racist Once again, the Binding Post is locked down, but unlike the Adventurer’s Guild and Incorruptus Workshop, it won’t open up until we’ve cleared Albana, eight chapters from now. I’ll cover the Binding Post in depth in that chapter, but the long-and-short of it is, you can combine two pieces of equipment into even better equipment, or merge two quantities of certain items together to form special weapons, armor, and accessories. Pretty much every piece of clothing Orren is wearing in the storyline sections was made at a Binding Post. And once again, these shops saw their most use by online players because it was drat near impossible to farm the items needed for binding things in single player mode. Again with the rabbit hole…  Oh well, up your’s, Gaspard. On to our last shop of the update: the General Store.  General Stores are denoted by the vial icon on the minimap.  Balandor’s General Store is run by Harry.  Again, you’ve seen one item shop, you’ve seen them all. General Stores sell healing potions, revival items, and items to offset various status ailments. In the latter parts of the game, they will also offer a selection of items used in enhancing equipment… for astronomical prices.  So that’s it for part 1. Hooray! We surivived! INFOGRAPHICS!                            
nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 07:49 on Mar 4, 2015 |
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Dec 24, 2013 09:03
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Man, this is gonna be amazing.  Sounds like WKC is perfect for a bit of piss-taking, The Dark Id style.Dear God, there's already so many laughable things that I don't even know where to start.
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Dec 24, 2013 10:08
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I'm getting flashbacks of Arc the Lad: End of Darkness, and Dirge of Cerberus from reading this first chapter... I should not be reminded of those two games.
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Dec 24, 2013 10:13
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Yapping Eevee posted:Man, this is gonna be amazing. Welcome aboard. Yes, I have modelled the spirit of this LP after The Dark Id. Hopefully I will live up to his example. Probably not, but I'm gonna try. I promise you, I've seen both these games front-to-back, we're just getting started on the stupid. AnAnonymousIdiot posted:I'm getting flashbacks of Arc the Lad: End of Darkness, and Dirge of Cerberus from reading this first chapter... I should not be reminded of those two games. I haven't actually played Arc the Lad, but the Dirge of Cerberus comparisons are going to be quite apt, especially when it comes to cutscene characters versus gameplay characters, and general head-up-rear end obtuse stupidity.
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Dec 24, 2013 11:31
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nine-gear crow posted:
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Dec 24, 2013 12:21
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This game looked really awesome during development and was one of the biggest disappointments. Fortunately, I ended up never buying it. A month of two before it was released, the game dropped a few bombshells and I knew it was going to be bad.
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Dec 24, 2013 12:29
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I... am unfortunate enough to have played the first game. I never finished it, and I suspect it was less than a third of the way through, I stopped playing because it had just gotten so utterly retarded.
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Dec 24, 2013 12:55
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As a member of the goon crew that played this online, I'm just surprised it took so long for someone to LP this series. The online mode had some interesting ideas, but oh boy was it grindy.
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Dec 24, 2013 15:10
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Schubalts posted:oh boy was it grindy. Power Drill: Apply directly to the forehead. 2,000,000 GP to raise your Guild Rank one level? And highest payout quest you have access to at that point only gives you 10,000 GP for S ranking it? And it takes half an hour to complete, every time? And that's like only level 20 of 30? 
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Dec 24, 2013 15:42
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So, I'm going to sum up this game accurately right now. "LEONARD!" "CISNA!" "LEONARD!" "CISNA!" "LEONARD!" "CISNA!" "LEONARD!" "CISNA!" "LEONARD!" "CISNA!" SHUT THE gently caress UP! I actually laugh because JB Hi-fi (Electronic Store here in australia) had a little info card for the game, describing it as a Parody of typical JRPGs, playing up it's plot for laughs. Let's dash that right now. No it does not, not in a million loving years. The thing upsetting about WKC is how much drat potential there was. It could have been a really good game, it could have had a really good plot, but for some reason every inkling of good is buried beneath... well you'll see. Fortunately I can say that only two character in the main party ever really grated on me. Unfortunately, one of them just happened to be Leonard.
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Dec 24, 2013 16:25
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That has to be the least dignified villainous scheme I've ever seen. I just hope Dragias will be in an even more ridiculous costume.
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Dec 24, 2013 17:08
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You'll see some costumes, but Dragias is your Evil Black Knight. That is his look. Only your party members really change outfits often, and that's only because equipment actually changes your appearance.
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Dec 24, 2013 17:12
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I was always interested in this, but never actually picked it up. My friend played the first one, and he didn't have very kind thing to say about it, so that might have been why.
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Dec 24, 2013 18:30
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I think I played the PSP version for like 10 minutes. I remember how it was basically textbook "don't start your video games in this manner" You were a dude(tte) in bog standard cloth clothes dragging your level 1 rear end through a maze portion of the town. Enemies gave gently caress-all exp (though I expect quests and whatnot are the way to go for that) and ramped up in toughness fairly quickly. I then gave my friend his PSP back since I was quickly bored.
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Dec 24, 2013 18:36
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I got Origins and after finishing WKC1 never played it; instead I just sold it and didn't regret it. I see I made the right choice.  Schubalts posted:I'm just surprised it took so long for someone to LP this series. I'm not. The only people I thought be crazy enough to do it would be the people who hadn't played it, but then they wouldn't be able to actually do it very well. Frankly, I'm amazed anyone would be willing to play any of them more than once.
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Dec 24, 2013 18:44
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Onmi posted:So, I'm going to sum up this game accurately right now. Well, that's the thing, the game has scant and fleeting moments of self-awareness to it. It just plays the other 98% of the game with a straight face, so you can't even call it a parody. And oh god, tell me about wasted potential. I urge everyone to check out the 2006 TGS announcement trailer at the end of the second OP. Look at the beautiful fully no-capped, pre-rendered con job Level-5 tried to pawn off on the press. Look at those animated menus, HDR lighting system, more realistic looking character models that somehow look better than the finished models... And then look at the half-assed, lazy, cartoony final product seen in the cutscenes and eventual gameplay videos. As for plot, yeah, the game does nothing creative with its premise. Like, to sum up both games, basically:  : So, a kid gains the power to transform into a 20 foot-tall magic suit of armour and be a badass hero in a Standard Fantasy Setting. : Oh, cool. So what does he do with it?: Repeatedly forgets he can transform into a 20 foot-tall magic suit of armour and gets rope-a-doped by everyone around him.
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Dec 24, 2013 19:44
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nine-gear crow posted:Make your Cis-whatever jokes here before Blind Sally does. Please. What kind of jerk do you take me for? I'm currently trying to figure out some way to make a "Princess Cessna" joke, but I fear I'm over-reaching. Heh, and we're only one update in--White Knight Chronicles!
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Dec 24, 2013 22:03
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nine-gear crow posted:And oh god, tell me about wasted potential. I urge everyone to check out the 2006 TGS announcement trailer at the end of the second OP. Look at the beautiful fully no-capped, pre-rendered con job Level-5 tried to pawn off on the press. Look at those animated menus, HDR lighting system, more realistic looking character models that somehow look better than the finished models... And then look at the half-assed, lazy, cartoony final product seen in the cutscenes and eventual gameplay videos. It was obvious the final product wouldn't be that great. Leonard grabbing a soldier from behind and his Hollywood style sword fighting with another lined up way to perfectly. In a game there will most of the time be disrupting elements such as another enemy getting in the way or the angles not being that right, so there was never a chance for the real game to look this good. However, in the real game things doesn't merely look less good, the grabbing and the Hollywood sword fighting doesn't exist at all. There's more to the gameplay con job though, but I think I'll get into it more when an actual gameplay video is posted.
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Dec 24, 2013 23:41
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BravestOfTheLamps posted:That has to be the least dignified villainous scheme I've ever seen. I just hope Dragias will be in an even more ridiculous costume. My thoughts exactly. It's not often you see a Villain with the humility to make an rear end of himself dressed like a clown.
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Dec 25, 2013 06:27
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Hey! I rented this a while back in the boxed set that had both games in it, mostly just going off what I remembered of the early praise. It gave the option to start in game 2 with a leveled party, but I figured I should have an idea of the original story. Hooo boy was it dumb. I gave up around the time I got the second [spoiler thing] because the fight that happened immediately afterwards was remarkably hard and I didn't have the patience to learn an entirely new set of commands. Also continuing in this game is stupid, if I remember correctly. I sent it back early. I do like that you get to make a fully customizable character, complete with height and body sliders and clothing modeled to you; really more games should be better at that. But gently caress me if the way they make your character behave doesn't remind me of a mummer's farce. Still, in principle, if the game didn't suck with the awful characters and awful plot and bland gameplay, having a fully customizable player avatar that isn't the main character and merely lends advice or tips the scales in important decisions would be a great way to have your cake and eat it too if you want a heavily story driven game. I mean, Bioware or Obsidian could probably do good things with that premise; people complain about Bioware's trend of making voiced PCs that offer limited characterization options, but if the player avatar is just the best friend/advisor/crony/henchman/rabid-attack-dog-on-a-leash of the Command Shepard analogue, then you can excuse not having as many options because the final decision isn't always yours to make. Some good ideas in this game, but man oh man the execution is wanting.
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Dec 25, 2013 07:28
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I have to imagine it is just me, but I swear every fantasy-setting JRPG from the Xbox360/PS3 generation looks exactly the same from character models to environmental textures. The first thing I thought when I saw the random rock outcroppings in the opening scene was a similar object in Lost Odyssey.
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Dec 25, 2013 07:32
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This game looks really derivative. The villains sneaking into the town dressed like clowns, for instance, is ripped directly out of Dark Cloud 2, which at least has the advantage of being produced by Level-5. The gameplay, on the other hand, is looking to be a pretty heavy rip off of Final Fantasy XII, without any of the parts of Final Fantasy XII's gameplay that were any good at all. It'll be interesting to see just how bad things get. On the other hand, I'm definitely liking the LP so far. I mean, you've put more effort into the OP of this thing than some people put into their entire LP. I will look forward to following along with this terrible, terrible game. Meinberg fucked around with this message at 08:35 on Dec 25, 2013 |
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Dec 25, 2013 08:31
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Meinberg posted:This game looks really derivative. The villains sneaking into the town dressed like clowns, for instance, is ripped directly out of Dark Cloud 2, which at least has the advantage of being produced by Level-5. The gameplay, on the other hand, is looking to be a pretty heavy rip off of Final Fantasy XII, without any of the parts of Final Fantasy XII's gameplay that were any good at all. It'll be interesting to see just how bad things get. There are a lot of Level-5 References in the game I noticed, including one of their recurring characters from Dark Cloud. I tried to really excuse WKC 1 because it was world building. I get world building and while it's dumb to devote an entire game to building it, it actually does do a semi-effective job of making a good world. The problem then leads into WKC 2... Also we're going to get a scene later in the game I'm going to go ballistic on, because it apes a scene of another game but doesn't carry any of the emotional weight, build up, or writing behind that game. And it really makes you appreciate the game.
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Dec 25, 2013 08:43
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MUMMYMTN posted:My thoughts exactly. It's not often you see a Villain with the humility to make an rear end of himself dressed like a clown. This is actually why I kind of like Belcitane as a villain. Between Dana Snyder's wonderful voice work for him, and some of the antics that he gets up to between now and the end of the game, you can just tell he's having a loving blast being an evil prick. Just about every other villain in this game except one is a joyless bore. Onmi posted:There are a lot of Level-5 References in the game I noticed, including one of their recurring characters from Dark Cloud. I tried to really excuse WKC 1 because it was world building. I get world building and while it's dumb to devote an entire game to building it, it actually does do a semi-effective job of making a good world. Please feel free to point out all the Dark Cloud references as we stumble across them, because I haven't actually played either Dark Cloud game, so they're just going to slip right under the radar in the LP proper. Beyond that, I'm glad to see everyone is enjoying the LP thus far. I don't exactly know what kind of a schedule I'm going to keep as far as updates go. I'm going to try to aim for "once a week" or failing that either "once every week-and-half" or just "when it's done." I've got up to part 3 written and screencapped, so I've at least got a decent buffer ahead of me. I make no promises for the buffer of my sanity though.
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Dec 25, 2013 09:08
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Kind of miss that sort of villainy, as much as I hate to give this game's characterization any credit. What ever happened to villains just enjoying being a massive rear end in a top hat to everyone?
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Dec 25, 2013 11:43
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Oh my god white knight chronicles. I plqyed this game to the end in the first one and i got to, what im guessibg is close to the end of 2 when that came out. I also did a lot of the online mission bullshit. God this is a stupid rear end game. I can't wait to see how this LP goes because this game is an utter trainwreak. Also the ending for 1 is the most bullshit thing.
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Dec 25, 2013 15:50
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nine-gear crow posted:Please feel free to point out all the Dark Cloud references as we stumble across them, because I haven't actually played either Dark Cloud game, so they're just going to slip right under the radar in the LP proper. Okay, well from the beginning we have GeoRama. This was one of the main features of the Dark Cloud games, in those games the world was essentially blown up and then sealed into orbs that you would find in the local dungeon, this let you build the town anew, its residents, and essentially craft your own unique version of the town. However each member of the town had their own desires, such as the location of certain buildings. Which added a puzzle mechanic to the world builder. It's essentially the same thing for your GuildSpace in this game, but only important to the online portion of course. the weapon upgrade/repair system is also similar to the Dark Cloud games, where they did degrade (though this had more to do with their dungeon crawler aspects) and could be upgraded through collecting gems and other items. The difference is at least with Dark Cloud 1, is that the upgrades were freeform. Once you levelled up an item it upgraded, having gems equipped integrated them on the next upgrade. then at a certain level you could transform them into new weapons. You could also level up a weapon and then synthesize it into a gem to equip to another weapon. Obviously WKCs is much more limited in scale, which owes a lot to the difference between a Dungeon-Crawler mixed with town-simulator and a straight JRPG with an online component. When playing through WKC you never need to upgrade your equipment like that, and they can be repaired from any save point. In DC you needed repair powder and upgrading weapons was pretty much the best way to get new and better equipment. But those are similar systems shared across Level-5 RPGs. But a major difference is that Dark Cloud was essentially a free-form action game, like a Zelda title more than a traditional RPG. WKC... well if this doesn't constitute a spoiler. Once an enemy has you locked in for an attack? even if you've run half way across the map, they will still be attacking you and will connect. I think distance may do... something to accuracy? but otherwise no. I have the masochistic honour of having brought WKC 1, and still wound up buying 2.
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Dec 25, 2013 16:23
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Meinberg posted:This game looks really derivative. The villains sneaking into the town dressed like clowns, for instance, is ripped directly out of Dark Cloud 2, which at least has the advantage of being produced by Level-5. The gameplay, on the other hand, is looking to be a pretty heavy rip off of Final Fantasy XII, without any of the parts of Final Fantasy XII's gameplay that were any good at all. It'll be interesting to see just how bad things get. I see it as The Legend of Dragoon of this generation. It The worse thing about the game is how much worse it looks and plays than the tech demo shown at Tokyo Game Show 2006. It was obviously pre-rendered but when the truth hit, it hit hard.
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Dec 25, 2013 17:04
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Lotish posted:Hey! I rented this a while back in the boxed set that had both games in it, mostly just going off what I remembered of the early praise. It gave the option to start in game 2 with a leveled party, but I figured I should have an idea of the original story. Hooo boy was it dumb. I gave up around the time I got the second [spoiler thing] because the fight that happened immediately afterwards was remarkably hard and I didn't have the patience to learn an entirely new set of commands. Also continuing in this game is stupid, if I remember correctly. I sent it back early. This is exactly how I felt when I rented the game too. Having the player character who wasn't the Main Character seemed interesting to me, but how WKC did it was horrible. I stopped playing before actually leaving the first town because of how the Avatar would literally stand stock still with a goofy-rear end smile on his face while poo poo was going down. The Avatar just had absolutely no effect on the story, and also felt like I had no effect on the story, which killed all desire I had to play it and see it through.
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Dec 25, 2013 18:44
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quote:This is exactly how I felt when I rented the game too. Having the player character who wasn't the Main Character seemed interesting to me, but how WKC did it was horrible. I stopped playing before actually leaving the first town because of how the Avatar would literally stand stock still with a goofy-rear end smile on his face while poo poo was going down. The Avatar just had absolutely no effect on the story, and also felt like I had no effect on the story, which killed all desire I had to play it and see it through. I bailed on this game after like, two random encounters, but man is the player Avatar the worst implemented thing ever. Right from the beginning of the game, you see Leonard getting the standard generic JRPG protag treatment, and then *wham* the store owner goes "Oh, take this nameless mute with no backstory with you so he can carry your stuff or whatever." If Leonard had tucked a cardboard cutout of your avatar under his arm as he left it wouldn't have been any more of a slap in the face. I ended up crafting an avatar that looked vaguely like Leonard, so it was extra confusing and jarring. I didn't know anything about the game other then that I'd just bought a PS3 and wanted a couple cheap games to round out my library but apparently I was right to shut it off when I did.
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Dec 25, 2013 18:53
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I managed to force my way through the first game but didn't play the second. There seemed like there were lots of interesting ideas that were all poorly executed. What really killed me though was that the avatar was basically this weird third wheel who has no impact on the plot despite being easily the most useful character in the party, to a laughable degree if you've been grinding online, but who is nevertheless creepily hanging around. The online component was also really poorly realized despite being interesting in concept. I do like the first main villain though, I wish more games would do bad guys who are really enthusiastic about being bad guys
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Dec 25, 2013 18:55
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I have a lot of patience for even crap games. I got through Final Fantasy XIII and liked it, only finding flaws glaring long after I had finished, for instance. I still didn't get through WKC without finding it stupid as hell. gently caress this game and its stupid mechanics. gently caress it for making me want to play again with a better Avatar and do more giant knight rampages. gently caress it for making me consider getting the second.
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Dec 25, 2013 20:24
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Tobias Grant posted:This is exactly how I felt when I rented the game too. Having the player character who wasn't the Main Character seemed interesting to me, but how WKC did it was horrible. I stopped playing before actually leaving the first town because of how the Avatar would literally stand stock still with a goofy-rear end smile on his face while poo poo was going down. The Avatar just had absolutely no effect on the story, and also felt like I had no effect on the story, which killed all desire I had to play it and see it through. Frankly, I'm getting similar impression with other issues this game has, the developers knew what the game was supposed to be, but ended up with a product that had little to none of it.
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Dec 25, 2013 22:41
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So it seems like the only way to not have a stroke is to hack the game a little. I cannot actually believe some of the requirements for these things.
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Dec 25, 2013 22:59
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ZenVulgarity posted:So it seems like the only way to not have a stroke is to hack the game a little.  Crystalgate posted:There was a footage of some sort of demo where a certain pink haired girl is talking to the player avatar. They were in the background and you heard no sound from them, but you could see the girl talk and the avatar turning it's head towards her to listen. He looked far more like a person then. I'm getting the feeling that level 5 knew how the avatar should have worked, but they never got there, either due to incompetence or they didn't give it enough priority. Framboise. We'll be running in to her (much to my eternal consternation) in the second game. Again though, you're hitting the nail on the head with everything you're saying. This is a game comprised of things that should have worked but somehow didn't because they just didn't know what kind of game they wanted to make by the end of things, and didn't have the vision or conviction to follow through with whatever their original plans for the game were. I am going to have to go to ridiculous lengths to try and justify why the Avatar is still with the party throughout both games primarily because they never make any effort to acknowledge he's even there from this point forward, and they're such a collection of massive gently caress ups that it literally makes more sense to join the villains at certain points.
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Dec 25, 2013 23:16
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For me the main problem with this game was the fact that after they took everything offline, they never bothered to first patch out all their dlc/money-store bullshit; making the two games needlessly grindy and terrible. I started the first game a couple months ago after randomly buying it, and lost the will to continue playing it after I realized most of the quests where balanced around a group of players and grinding for hundreds of hours. There were some cool ideas in this game, but it's a perfect example of how lovely greedy companies can ruin anything. I mean seriously $10 to change the look of your avatar?
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Dec 25, 2013 23:24
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Oh man, I think this is my choice for the most disappointing game on the Ps3. I can't stress how the player's avatar is literally the most awkward thing I ever seen in a game story-wise. It's literally just some dude who silently hangs out around who the party never acknowledges. The pawns in Dragon's Dogma are better characters. [e] I just realized that the avatar in this game is pretty much exactly the same as a souless pawn. DrManiac fucked around with this message at 23:38 on Dec 25, 2013 |
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Dec 25, 2013 23:32
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