Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«201 »
  • Locked thread
Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

my irl epic
100 wrods

She raised her head from the pillow. The pile of laundry in the bathroom had become an edifice of laundry. She let her head fall back down.

Two hours later, it was eleven o'clock in the morning. She raised her head from the pillow again. The tower of laundry leaned dangerously to one side, as if it were a still photo of a toppling building.

Her phone buzzed. Life beckoned. She was out of clean underwear.

Slowly but with gathering speed, she pushed herself from the bed and began the long trek toward linoleum horizons; it was motherfucking laundry day.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

----------------------
|PMush used Shitpost! |
|It's super effective!|
----------------------


Mercedes, if you're chomping at the bit to write, you up for that brawl rematch?

docbeard
Jul 18, 2011

High marks for compassion, low marks for survival skills





48 Words

00:30

wtf they are all red wires

00:25

i’m cutting this one

00:21

or maybe that one

00:17

fine that one

00:14

that didn’t work

00:11

neither did that

00:08

are these wires hooked up to anything

00:02

oh poo poo

mewse
May 2, 2006




Yessss

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


The Leper Colon V posted:

Mercedes, if you're chomping at the bit to write, you up for that brawl rematch?

Oh joy. A pity brawl. No, I'll pass for now. I'll brawl you when you have more entries than failures.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, please. Help me, God, help me. Jesus.
71 words

He shouldn’t have eaten the second burrito. He knew that now. He knew that then, too, but the call of grilled steak, caramelized onions, pepperjack cheese, red hot jalapenos, and chipotle ranch was too great a siren’s song to resist. Now it was time to pay the piper and all he could do was grab his ankles and pray.

Because sometimes you take a poo poo and sometimes the poo poo takes you.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

----------------------
|PMush used Shitpost! |
|It's super effective!|
----------------------


Mercedes posted:

Oh joy. A pity brawl. No, I'll pass for now. I'll brawl you when you have more entries than failures.
Not with a tone like that you won't.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!


Dawn of the Wolf Age
100 words

Brjánn was huddled by the campfire in total silence. Suddenly the silence was shattered by a unearthly howling. A streak of light illuminated the pitch black night. A horde of etheral horsemen rode screaming across the sky. Brjánn was not a learned man but he knew this was a omen of Ragnarök. Soon brothers would battle and split each others shields. A massive wolf would swallow the sun and plunge the world into a merciless winter. Death would soon come for everyone, both gods and men.
Shaking with terror Brjánn clutched his spear tightly, he would need it soon enough.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

The Leper Colon V posted:

Not with a tone like that you won't.



A GEIS HAS BEEN LAID UPON YOU

none may touch this creature until it has been thrice more through the cleansing hell fire of the thunderous dome

tankadillo
Aug 15, 2006



Doom of the Dinosaurs
98 words

“Should we help him?” said the triceratops.

“No,” said the parasaurolophus, “all we can do now is run.”

The tyrannosaurus was using all of the might in his tiny arms to push back meteor. It looked like the sun itself and the entire sky was crushing down on him. He quivered. His feet slipped an inch, then two inches, then a foot.

“Those fools will never escape,” said the tyrannosaurs. “Once this hits the ground, nowhere on Earth will be safe.”

The tyrannosaurs collapsed. His sacrifice delayed their fate, but did not avert it.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


The Leper Colon V posted:

Not with a tone like that you won't.





I'll wait for you on the outside.

Mr_Wolf
Jun 18, 2013


98 words

I look up to the sky and don't see God there. Just the smiling face of a Djin.

“A God without worship is just a lonely man” The Djin's face looms out from the purple sky, his eyes crackle with a thousand lightning bolts, he spits out fire that tears my flesh off the bone. I try to cry out in pain but the Djin won't allow it.

“I'm your God now boy. You will worship me with pain”

This can't be it. I stand up, charred chunks of smoking flesh fall to the ground.

“I worship nobody Djin”

Accretionist
Nov 7, 2012



KROLF THE BARBARIAN
Interim Prompt
99/100 Words

Krolf stood tall afore his people, mightiest in the village, facing a massive bear gaunt from winter’s rest.

“Nanook, forgive me,” he muttered.

Krolf sighed as he drew his hunting knife. Stepping forward, arms raised, he bellowed a mighty call.

As it responded in kind, Krolf lunged for the eyes but was knocked down. The beast made for his throat but he rolled towards its gaping maw and rammed arm and blade down its neck, stabbing it in its dark heart.

Its jaws clamped shut, severing his arm, but he survived. Thus began the legend of Krolf the Barbarian.

No Longer Flaky
Nov 16, 2013

by Lowtax


God drat it. Two losses in three thunderdomes. Not saying I didn't deserve it or anything. I defer to outsiders judgement

I won't lose the next thunderdome. This is an early entry but I won't lose it.

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

aka sticklegs



Grimey Drawer

The Wolf-Rider-Sword Industrial Complex
100 words


Tiny creatures ran through open plains, pursued by bigger, uglier creatures. Some of the ugly creatures rode wolf-like animals, and some of the ugly creatures had swords. There was a marked overlap between the riders and sword-havers, so much that if one were to draw a Venn diagram it would mostly look like one circle. Which draws into question the very nature of the ugly creature’s society and classicism. Are there whole groups of people totally overlooked to ride wolf-like things because they weren’t born into a sword-wielding household? Oops, the small creatures have escaped across the river now. Welp.

Peel
Dec 3, 2007



THUNDERDOME WEEK LXXVI: The Mysteries of the Finite

Sup. You guys have 1000 words to tell me a mystery story with no science fiction or fantasy elements. Don't wimp out with some fragment poo poo either, I want both a presentation of the puzzle and its resolution between the start and end of your entry.

Signups open now. Signups close 10PM EST Friday. Submissions close 10PM EST Sunday.

Your judges are:
Me
Mercedes
Sebmojo

Entrants:
The Leper Colon V suicide
Fumblemouse
ReptileChillock
QuidProQuid
Amused Frog
tankadillo
God Over Djinn
Mr_Wolf
Ihmemies
Tyrannosaurus
WeLandedOnTheMoon!
Entenzahn
V for Vegas
Djeser
Jagermonster
Bigup DJ
crabrock - 987 words
curlingiron
Feste
Anathema Device
Meinberg
Rainbow Unicorn
Quidnose
JamieTheD
Poopkitty
SurreptitiousMuffin - 500 words
Noah
Music Theory suicide
Baudolino
Schneider Heim
J. Comrade
Kaishai
Nikaer Drekin

Peel fucked around with this message at Jan 18, 2014 around 03:02

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

----------------------
|PMush used Shitpost! |
|It's super effective!|
----------------------


In.

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

In with a puzzle so puzzling and a mystery so mysterious you will wonder what the hell I'm talking about.

ReptileChillock
Jan 7, 2014

by Lowtax


Inne.

QuoProQuid
Jan 12, 2012

WHO LOVES BLOOD SODA?
KEL LOVES BLOOD SODA!


I do. I do. I do-oo.


I'm in.

Amused Frog
Sep 8, 2006
Waah no fair my thread!

In.

tankadillo
Aug 15, 2006



So in.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


No Longer Flaky posted:

God drat it. Two losses in three thunderdomes. Not saying I didn't deserve it or anything. I defer to outsiders judgement

I won't lose the next thunderdome. This is an early entry but I won't lose it.

My God. There are no words or gifs that can properly portray how much I want to pull you in for a black man's shoulder bump.

Good luck dearest goon, and do not let your gigantic balls hold you back.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


A bite-sized epic.

Flint and Fire (99 words)

Ur awoke from his slumber at the summit of the world, the whole of creation sprawled out before him. It was the song of the firebird that stirred him from his sleep, the beauty of the beast that had captured his heart. How many years had it been? How many lifetimes? He’d only been a boy when he’d first heard the tale. Once in a millennia…

Ur’s bones were old, but he knew his work. He notched his bow with an arrow and a prayer.

The firebird thundered and fell silent. Once again Ur was alone.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk

FLASH RULE

There was a lot of chitchat and horseshit floating around last week. This will not continue. Every post by an entrant that isn't an entry, a crit or a story this week will get their word count cut to 500, then to 250, then DQ'd.

Write well, you bastards.

God Over Djinn
Jan 17, 2005

onwards and upwards


in

Mr_Wolf
Jun 18, 2013


In.

Thanks in advance for the crits of the last Thunderdome.

Ihmemies
Oct 6, 2012



The Mountain of Madness
(100 words of glory)

Air retreated in terror before the shape of the war hammer. The mountain had split the day before, driving the dwellers to edge of madness.

They had nowhere to go.

Red painted every surface. Streams of blood and sweat filled the reality.

We had nowhere to go.

Hunger slowed his muscles, while the harpies feasted on the trail of corpses left behind.

On this field no one wins.

Iron ravaged the bone time and time again. The frenzy of feathers gained ground till he took the final blow, leaving a crushed man as the parting gift.

Ash veiled the earth.

***

In.

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

I'm in.

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


In digestion
(100 words)

Kodoko the Protector dragged Hardy to Tavurvur’s rim. The white skinned coward desecrated the island from the moment Tavurvur brought him to the Slate Shore.

The tribal drums signified Tavurvur’s awakening. When Kodoko found him fashioning a weapon from the driftwood, Kodoko pinned him to the earth with his spear. Still mounted on the spike, Kodoko caved his head against the shale.

Tavurvur’s breath caused Kodoko’s skin to blister. Kodoko flayed the ink from Hardy’s arm and kicked it aside, failing to notice the mark behind his ear. When Tavurvur ate, he vomited. Kodoko was consumed. The drums fell silent.

------

Also, Im in for the mystery.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


In!

Amused Frog
Sep 8, 2006
Waah no fair my thread!

Dead Eye - 89 words

Years of searching led the crippled child here. In the saloon, he called out the man who shot his father.

The murderer spat back. "Left your daddy dead and your arm withered, boy. What chance you got now?"

They faced each other in the street, dripping sweat and scorched by the noon sun. Birds circled and doors slammed.

Two shots rang out. His father's killer fell to the dirt, a hole between his eyes. The crippled kid reached to his own throat and tried to hold in the blood.

=========================

Gonna try to do some crits of the short stuff too because I want to make people feel bad.

Paladinus
Jan 11, 2014



The Last Wish
(100 words epic)


‘And I’ll finally see the world in all its glory?’ a grey-haired man muttered almost crying.
‘You’ll see more than that,’ the doctor was visibly irritated although her voice didn’t betray any emotions, ‘you’ll see the planet dying, you’ll see the Sun burning red in its agony, you’ll see the end.’
In a minute the bandages were undone.
‘You hear that noise? Sounds like another bombing. What’s the hold-up? Open them up.’
‘I only wish the first thing I see wasn’t that morbid…’
‘Well, I wish I could see anything at all, Your Grace. Now get on with it already.’

V for Vegas
Aug 31, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER

War 91.


His first war had been what? 3,000 years ago? In all that time, in all those battles, the blood, the screams, the terror, the euphoria had been the same. Didn't matter if he was killing with a sword, a chariot, a musket, a bayonet, a pistol, an AK.

But this. This was different. Watching a small screen as the white/green figures shifted around. Then a flash. And that small ancient thrill wriggled up his spine to lodge in the base of his skull. He smiled.

War, war never changes.



- Also signing up for this week.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



In.

Black Griffon
Mar 12, 2005

Now, in the quantum moment before the closure, when all become one. One moment left. One point of space and time. I know who you are.

You are destiny.


In, and this week I will deliver.

Jagermonster
May 7, 2005

Hey - NIZE HAT!


In.

For the love of god, Muffin, what have you done? Weren't these mini-epics supposed to be only til the result thread was posted?

Bigup DJ
Nov 8, 2012


I'm in! And thanks for the feedback, Muffin.

Does anyone have reading on how to do a good mystery story?

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk

Jagermonster posted:

In.

For the love of god, Muffin, what have you done? Weren't these mini-epics supposed to be only til the result thread was posted?

Yes. No more epic stories.

e: imma limit your stupid FACE vvvv

sebmojo fucked around with this message at Jan 14, 2014 around 22:19

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

aka sticklegs



Grimey Drawer

You poke at the gelatinized mass of brown and decide that putting that in your body means you probably won’t live to see the end of your grounding, and toss it in the trash.

You take a couple of deep breaths, run your fingers through your hair, and shuffle over to Molly.

She puts down her book and looks up at you.

You stand above her a changed man: ditcher of class, eater of donuts, smoker of cigarettes, befriender of huge boys with hints of mustache. You realize she’s not that scary.

“Hi, I’m Jake.”

She smiles back. “I know that, silly.”

“Oh.”

She pats the grass. “Here, sit down.”

You sit.

“We sat next to each other in kindergarten, don’t you remember?”

You think back. There was a girl he sat next to, but he had to be moved after her mom complained that he ate his boogers. Oh no, that was Molly?

“I had the biggest crush on you,” she says. “Then one day you moved and then you never talked to me again.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” you say. “The teacher made me move, I didn’t want to.”

Her cheeks turn red and she looks down, picking at the grass. “I felt like I was invisible to you. I thought you hated me.”

“Hate you? Me? Never! I didn’t realize that was you.”

“Gee, that doesn’t make me feel a whole lot better.”

You flinch at your own idiocy. “I mean, I’ve liked you for as long as I can remember, and I didn’t realize that you were that girl the teacher made me move away from.”

Molly looks up at you. “Do you mean it?”

You open your mouth to ask her to the dance when you hear somebody yell “heads!” and look up. Gus comes barreling toward you, looking over his shoulder with his arms outstretched. A football flies over his head and he jumps for it, missing and landing on top of you.

“Ow! Gus!”

Gus stands up and brushes himself off. “Sorry Jake, didn’t see you there. Hope I didn’t interrupt anything,” he says with a wink.

“In fact you did, I was just about to ask Molly to the dance.”

Molly’s friend interrupts just as Molly is about to answer. “I saw that crash, are you alright?”

“I’m fine, Shannon,” Molly says.

Shannon turns to Gus. “That was a crazy cool fall. You should be a stuntman or something!”

Gus looks at you and you give him the stare. “If you think that’s cool, you should see what I can do down a flight of stairs!” he says to Shannon, leading her away from you and Molly.

You are alone again, and you smile at her. “So, what do you think? You and me, go to the dance tomorrow and catch each other up on what we’ve been up to since kindergarten?”

“Sounds like a date!”

Your insides jump up and down. “Ok, but right now I really think we better go stop Gus from doing whatever stupid thing he’s about to do.”

Molly grabs your hand. “We better hurry,” she says, pulling you behind her.

The End

crabrock fucked around with this message at Aug 4, 2014 around 06:39

  • Locked thread
«201 »