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PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




Sure, I might as well try to bitterly claw my way upward. In.

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PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




"Thunderdome 2014" he said, right before he lost his balance and attacked the keyboard with his face

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




EDIT VVVV Do what he said, I forgot about that thread

PMush Perfect fucked around with this message at Jan 7, 2014 around 08:58

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
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FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




Did someone really red-text you for saying you wanted offline play in Diablo 3?

Regardless, I actually have an idea for this one, and I produced nothing last time. So, in.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




See, the problem is you're looking at it's like it's his, when it's actually he's.

The toy's robotic arm.
His robotic arm.
Its robotic arm.


All correct.

He's robotic arm.
It's robotic arm.


Both incorrect.

Make sense?

PMush Perfect fucked around with this message at Jan 7, 2014 around 19:06

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




magnificent7 posted:

Your mom's got a pretty voice for a dude.

ps I write for poo poo, that's a given.
Just shut up and challenge him to a Thunderbrawl, broseph.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




Hahaha, drat. There goes my entire story, then. Time to go at it with a butcher's knife.

What are we at, right now? How many submitted?

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




The Saddest Rhino posted:

You know what, I'm getting grumpier as time goes by so you get a nice big flash rule, for not being able to read.

FLASH RULE (ONLY APPLICABLE TO LEPER COLON V)

A key plot of your story involves germs/bacteria/viruses not being able to die.
Well, that's what I get for drunkposting, I suppose. Still, I can make this work.

Escape Attempt
569 words

"What's the damage?" Already, the clipboard was being shoved into my hand, and I flipped through it, taking in the necessary information. My throat went dry as I caught some of the lines on the page, reading the answer before I heard it. This wasn't going to be a pretty sight.

"Heavy lacerations to the face and neck via barbed wire fence. Similar injuries exist on the hands and wrists, as well." The nurse, some pretty thing whose name I couldn't remember, replied with practiced precision and clarity. She lived this just as much as I had, and if anything shook her any more, she made no sign of it. "We believe he was dead for approximately five minutes before the paramedics were able to activate the stasis implant, so there's likely to be some brain damage from the oxygen deprivation as well."

"Time left on his sentence?" I could see it right in front of me, but it didn't make any sense. Her answer, in so many words, confirmed it. This man had attempted to escape prison with only six months left before release. Now, I never could conceive of an outcome where an escape attempt had a positive ending, but even if there was one, to try with so little time left was completely inconceivable. "Any pre-existing conditions?"

The nurse hesitated, and my stride broke. "...Necrotizing Fasciitis, Doctor," She finally replied. The words were grim and wretched, and they hung in the air for several moments after she spoke them. "Very advanced. Were it not for the implant, he would most likely have died some time in the summer of last year. You may wish to brace yourself before you go in."

I thanked her for her concern, and waved her off. Now, I have been a doctor for over two centuries, I'm one of the best in my field, and I am proud of my accomplishments. I thought myself ready when I entered the patient's room, but even with all my experience, I have no shame admitting that I wretched when I saw him. If I hadn't skipped lunch that day, I might well have done more than that.

"Hope I didn't scare ya, Doc." The patient laughed, a raspy, choked sound. Some of the flesh in his cheeks had rotted through, and I could see his jagged yellow teeth and blackened tongue. Phlegm, or perhaps some sort of pus, dribbled from the corner of his lip as he spoke, dripping onto his chest and staining the gown a diseased green. "Wouldn't wanna give you nightmares."

"I appreciate that, but there's no need to worry. Let's talk about you instead, shall we?" Somehow, I managed to keep a professional tone in my voice as I spoke to him, despite the churning in my stomach. "It says in the paperwork here that due to the nature of your... condition, the judge has ruled not to extend your sentence. On the condition that you do not make any more escape attempts while you are receiving medical treatment."

"Oh, I don't think you need to worry about that, Doc." Fixing me with his gaze, the patient gave that crooked, bloody grin again. He raised his hand and wiggled his fingers at me, while darkened, half-clotted blood seeped from the gashes on his wrists. They were vertical, self-inflicted. And then I finally understood. "Can't exactly escape from immortality, can we?"

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




Martello posted:

That's not the only part of him that's quite a mouthful


His... cooking tends to consist of very large portions?

I'm not sure what you're getting at here.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




Mercedes, if you're chomping at the bit to write, you up for that brawl rematch?

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
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AND TWICE AS TALL




Mercedes posted:

Oh joy. A pity brawl. No, I'll pass for now. I'll brawl you when you have more entries than failures.
Not with a tone like that you won't.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




In.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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Yeah, I got nothing. I'm a cowardly rear end in a top hat, withdrawing from this week's.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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AND TWICE AS TALL




I'm in with the 2000s, and a .

And you know what?

Flashrule me.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
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AND TWICE AS TALL




Signing up for this was a terrible idea.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

MY PAPER SOLDIERS
FORM A WALL
FIVE PACES THICK
AND TWICE AS TALL




[Set in the 2000's, and must include Daryoush Ayyoubi]

Aching (385 words)
Daryoush's eyes ached, and he rubbed the bridge of his nose between his fingers, trying to clear his head. All of him ached, but at least this was something he could handle, and it served as a momentary distraction from the task that was staring him down. The task, and the entirety of both teams, not the least of whom being the steely-eyed goalie standing across from him, whose unflinching stare threatened to bore right through him.

Daryoush's eyes ached, and he pulled his gaze away, down to the ball sitting at his feet. It would be either a weapon of glory, or an instrument of catastrophe, all based solely on his next action. One ball, two men, three seconds on the clock, and fourty thousand fans watching this moment from the stands. Only God could say how many more would see the broadcast, see him illuminated by the floodlights that bathed the field in an artificial day.

Daryoush's eyes ached, but his soul ached more, not for fear but for yearning. He would not back down. Time, which had seemed to bear down on him only a moment before, slowed to a crawl, the seconds he had becoming the hours he needed. Daryoush knew this man, knew how he blocked, and knew there was only way to proceed.

Daryoush's eyes ached. So he closed them. He shut out the world, until it was just himself, his goal, and a single man standing between them. As he pulled his leg back, he could feel judgment. He could feel the fear and the expectation and the biting, clawing knowledge that if he failed, no one would ever let him forget it. And as he swung his kick forward, he could hear their screams. 'Don't fail, Daryoush Ayyoubi,' They said, in every language without uttering a single word, 'Don't you dare fail.' Daryoush's retort was the roar of cheering fans as the the ball connected with the net.

Daryoush's eyes ached. He had been sweating so hard for so long that there was barely any water left in his body for the tears of triumphant joy his heart was demanding. There was still a fight ahead of them, the kick had only tied the game, but for Daryoush, win or lose, this night was his triumph.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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AND TWICE AS TALL




Don't give up, DoR! I got in my horseshit story, you can, too!

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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You did it!

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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I didn't lose with my horrific story!

In, with Gold!

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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AND TWICE AS TALL




sebmojo posted:

Hello.

Who wants a flash rule.
I took the easiest element. Hit me.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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AND TWICE AS TALL




sebmojo posted:

An old boxer, with a broken right hand. Must not be depressing or dull.
I can do that.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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I'm a basic baby bitch and I need to drop. Again. Someone, do better with my element of Gold than I would have.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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AND TWICE AS TALL




In. I keep backing out every time I don't do this, so !

And if you're up for it, GoD, can I have a flashrule?

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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God Over Djinn posted:

Flash rule: In your story, someone gets something they don't deserve.
So, basically my whole life, then. Got it.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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God Over Djinn posted:

Will a Toxx clause be enough to make Leper Colon stop talking
No

quote:

and write a god drat story?
Yes

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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Someone I Didn't Deserve
(333 words)
Our story wasn't really anything special, on the surface. A couple of lonely college-age kids who met on the internet, and found something in each other they couldn't find in themselves. Our relationship moved fast, and by the time we'd been dating six month, we were living together. He went to school, I worked a lovely fast food job, we bitched about our lazy housemate who never, ever did her own loving dishes. Nothing revolutionary, but we were comfortable and happy. For about a year.

I can make all the excuses I want about what happened next. My fear of commitment, frustration at my working circumstances, a manic episode. None of them change the fact of the matter; when a chance to run off with an old flame came up, I jumped at it. Fumbling in a mess of guilt for something I hadn't even done yet, I cobbled together a plan. It fell apart before its wheels even touched the ground, and I was left standing in the wreckage, but I wasn't the one who was hurt.

Everyone who knew what happened told him the same thing. Give me the 'freedom' that I'd wanted so badly, and the boot. Our housemates didn't know the full story, thankfully, or I would have gotten a lot more than just verbal lashings. They knew what was coming, though, and I prepared whatever reserves I could, to stay afloat once he kicked me out. But he didn't.

One of the things about him I'd always admired is the sheer size and resiliency of his heart, but I could never have imagined that, after what I'd do, he'd forgive me. It was a process, of course. A long, slow, delicate process that I nearly fumbled on more than one occasion. But he held on, held on to what we had before, and what he hoped we could have again.

His name is Benjamin Silver, and I didn't deserve him, but he stayed anyways.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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AND TWICE AS TALL




Go Home, Hemingway, You're Drunk - 3 words
For sale: Baby.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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I am a basic bitch who backs out half the time so throw a on me. In.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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Quidnose posted:

I am a terrible person and have written nothing. #bailtown. Shame me.
Quid, I submitted a decent story this week.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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My story was Unicorn Hunt, and it turns out I failed spectacularly at drawing the parallel between "everything's magic when you're a child" and "everything was magic back when there were still mysteries about the world". If I could get a longer crit, specifically focused on precisely how I hosed that up, that'd be great.

This is at least the second time I've been really proud of a work and the point it makes, and had it actually be bad enough to nearly be worth a DM.

PMush Perfect fucked around with this message at Mar 3, 2014 around 23:31

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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"Yeah, sure, whatever," Colon V yawned, waving his hand dismissively, "I'm in."

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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AND TWICE AS TALL




Jagermonster posted:

"In," Jager monstered.

Please hit me up with a flash rule, Oxxybaby
That's brilliant.

Flash rule me as well, I can't not take this challenge.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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I asked for one, too. Unicorn Hunt, specifically how I could have better drawn the parallels about the magic of the unknown, between childhood and the past.

PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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The Saddest Rhino posted:

But none of you, save one, made me a liar, when I told people in another thread that you were putting in a conscious effort to improve your writing.
That's just about the best compliment I could have hoped for.

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PMush Perfect
Sep 30, 2009

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"...gently caress." Colon V cursed, "I've gotta drop again. Call me a basic baby bitch."

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