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  • Locked thread
Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


It's a new year, Father Janus looks both forward and back.

Role reversal - I'm in.

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Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Mercedes posted:

Mercedes crushed the Red Dog 20/20 can in his spindly grasp, leftover beer foaming out of the top. He flung the beer carcass to the ground and stumbled to his computer with eyes firmly crossed and pants indubiously soiled. He pulled his computer chair out with the intention to sit on it, but his rear end found the floor nonetheless.

With his forearm, he pushed all nonessential items off the computer desk with a glorious swipe. The monitor swayed like a ship in the open sea. No matter, Mercedes pounded the keyboard like it owed him money and after what it seemed like an eternity of misspelling a word and hitting backspace far too many times, his masterpiece was in front of him in all its luminescent grandeur.

In

He nodded, swelling with pride. "I'll show these fuckers," he said, right before he lost his balance and attacked the keyboard with his face; bits of the alphabet clattering against the floor.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


sebmojo posted:

New thread title imo

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Well good job there killer, the link doesn't work. Is "writocracy.come" a writer's porn site?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


As Brothers, Once

1241

The scarred blonde huskarl shook his head. “I’d swear by Saint Vortabin, he’s madder every day.” Rodic tapped his temple with the stump of his index finger.

Dorn Vulhather, Thane of the King’s Huskarls, frowned. “Have respect. He’s still our king.”

“Last council, he nearly strangled the steward!” Rodic made choking motions.

“He lost his temper.”

“He’s been strange since that witch cursed him outside Obersend.”

The thane waved a hand. “If he’s a bit off - and I’m not saying he is - it’s from that head wound he took when the Obersenders sallied out.” Dorn rubbed his own bald head. “He didn't wake for a week.”

Rodic counted on his fingers. “He mutters to himself, he wanders the castle in his nightshirt, and I caught him pissing in a fireplace yesterday. He’s mad, I’m telling you.”

Dorn sighed. “Maybe so. We were as brothers, once. We fostered in Dartem together.” He fingered his longaxe, a faraway look in his pale blue eyes.

#

Two days later, Dorn stood guard while King Gremlaeca Skellan and his new Steward talked agriculture on a parapet. Dorn barely listened, distracted by the glory of Keloden spread before him. He remembered visiting the royal city as a boy with Gremlaeca. Keloden was then a mere sprawl of timber and wattle-and-daub buildings. Thirty years later, a trade boom with friendly neighbors doubled Keloden’s size. Anathian triremes, Andorth galleys, Varig longships, and native Grendish holks filled the harbor. A half-built stone cathedral already towered over the wooden Church of Saint Braghan.

Dorn turned as Gremlaeca’s voice rose.

“We can’t grow oranges on my Elten estate? Devil’s balls. I’m the King of Grenderholm, I’ll have oranges!”

Steward Merthgar raised his palms. “Your majesty, we’re too far north.”

Gremlaeca reddened. “By the Saints, I’ll have oranges!”

Dorn moved closer.

“But it’s not sensible…” Merthgar trailed off as Gremlaeca seized him at the hip and shoulder and lifted him over his head. The king was still a bull at fifty. Dorn grabbed Gremlaeca’s shoulder just as he hurled Merthgar over the battlement. He screamed all the way down.

Gremlaeca shoved Dorn away. His eyes were wild, unfocused. “Unhand me, dog.”

Dorn’s face grew hot, but he didn’t make to grab the king again. “For God’s sake, you just murdered him!”

“A King can only execute.”

Dorn crossed his arms. “The law applies to you like any other.”

“You presume too much,” Gremlaeca roared. “I’ll throw you after him.” He lunged, locked rough hands around his thane’s throat. Dorn drew his shortsword and pressed the edge under the king’s chin.

“Release me, or by Saint Braghan I’ll open your throat.”

Gremlaeca kept his grip, mad eyes locked on Dorn’s. Finally, he let go. His whole body went slack and he almost fell, catching himself on the battlement. When he looked up at Dorn, the madness had passed.

“By the Scion, what have I done? Forgive me, little brother. I wasn’t myself.”

“I know,” Dorn said. He gripped his forearm, pulled him upright. “Let’s get you to your chambers.”

“But Merthgar.”

“That will need to be accounted for, but not now.” Dorn led his king to the stairs.

#

Dorn and Rodic leaned against the council chamber wall, awaiting the king’s arrival. Ivarr, a Varig member of the King’s Huskarls, stood nearby smoking a pipe. Andubren, thane of the city, exchanged vulgar jokes with Alred Skellan, the king’s nephew and heir. The Earls of Brethon and Gorsham sat together, both called to council as the closest High Nobles to Keloden. The king himself finally entered, his favorite hound on one side, the huskarl Wigstan on the other. It was Wigstan’s day to guard the king. The assembled nobles stood as Gremlaeca took his seat. At a gesture, the hound hopped up into the empty Steward’s chair.

“Be seated.” The king waved his hand. “I present my new Royal Steward, Conbec of the Perfect Symmetry.” The hound lifted his ears at the sound of his name. Dorn’s mouth dropped open, and Rodic barely stifled a chuckle. Andubren’s face grew white, and the two Earls muttered to each other.

“Uncle, you can’t possibly be serious.” Alred’s full lips bent in a smile. “One of your jokes?”

“Not at all. Conbec will make an excellent steward. He obeys my every command.” He demonstrated, making the dog do tricks. “Now, the matter at hand. The two Earls are here to legitimize this war council.”

“War council?” The Earl of Gorsham raised his eyebrows.

“Indeed. I mean to invade Andor.”

Alred snorted. “For what reason? We’ve been at peace with the Andorth for twenty years. They’re our best trading partners.”

Gremlaeca turned his wild gaze on his nephew. “The pig-spawned bastards are stealing our water!”

The chamber fell silent. After a few seconds, Andubren spoke.

“What do you mean, your Majesty?”

“The Devil-bitten river! The Limberloth flows east to Marevin and doesn’t stop. Soon Andor will have the whole thing!”

Again, nobody spoke for a moment. Then Alred burst into laughter.

“This is too much. You’re mad as a box of frogs!”

Gremlaeca pointed a shaking finger. “You dare mock me? Throw him in the dungeon.” Conbec put his paws on the table and snarled. The huskarls escorted Alred out. In the hallway, he stared at Dorn.

“You’re truly obeying that madman? He made his dog the Steward! He thinks the Andorth are stealing the bloody river!”

“We know,” Dorn said. “We’re not jailing you. What can we do about him?”

“Kill him, give Lord Alred the throne,” Rodic said.

“That’s treason.” Dorn’s voice was tight.

“There’s precedent,” Rodic said. “Saint Braghan himself established the House of Skellan with his bloodstained sword."

Dorn shook his head. “We’re not Saint Braghan. Furthermore…”

Alred held up a hand. “Rodic’s right. He’s not fit to rule Grenderholm.” Ivarr nodded.

Dorn sighed and closed his eyes. “Very well. Let’s do it in the outer court. We need witnesses.”

#

In the outer court, nobles, merchants, and others watched in horror and interest as the King’s Huskarls bent Gremlaeca over a stool. Rodic held his shoulders, the king’s hands bound with his own belt. Rodic’s left eye was swollen shut, Dorn had a fresh bruise on his cheek, and Ivarr’s arm bled where Conbec had bitten him. Wigstan had the hound leashed, now. The remaining six King’s Huskarls stood by.

Alred Skellan stood at the foot of the empty Rowan Throne. The Archbishop of Keloden stood nearby, having been in the outer court anyway. He’d been quickly convinced to bless Gremlaeca’s execution. Dorn’s deathstare and longaxe had helped.

Alred addressed the crowd. “My uncle is no longer fit to rule. In the great tradition of our founder Saint Braghan, we remove him from the throne.” He nodded to Dorn. Rodic pushed the struggling king closer to the makeshift chopping block. Dorn hefted his longaxe.

“Your last words?”

Gremlaeca’s eyes were wide, bloodshot. “I’m the King! Release me, I’ll have you all eaten by pigs.”

Dorn waited.

The king dropped his head, then looked back up. His eyes were normal. “Not the axe, little brother,” he whispered. “Kill me like a warrior, not a thief.”

Dorn nodded. Rodic let the king straighten, opened his tunic to expose his collarbone. Dorn laid the longaxe aside and drew his sword. He stepped behind the king, placed the tip just above his left collarbone. Gremlaeca nodded.

Dorn thrust downwards. Blood spattered his face, ran down with the tears.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Mr_Wolf posted:

Block 89 1249 words

I push the gun into her head. I feel her push back so I kick her hard in the bottom of her spine. The base of her neck was glistening with sweat, her ponytail was matted with blood. Joey didn't like her tone when we came into the house so he produced a full-stop to her sentence in the shape of a swift smack with the bottom of a 9mm pistol.

The house has no carpet. The walls have mould with more life than half the residents in the block and the dust has settled in all the areas it could.

Her daughter was motionless on the couch clutching a yellow bear with one eye. Behind her sat the orange skyline of Block 89. The huge skyscrapers bursting out of the ground almost like fingers reaching for something better.

The soles of her feet are black. I don't know why I am so upset by this. I tell her to get down and go and wait in her room. She jumps up and in a flash is gone. I see a fresh looking wound on her arm as she goes past. Looks like someone had carved “mine” into her.

“It's been four days Louis. We need to see some of the money”

Joey usually did all of the talking. I wanted to keep my mouth shut, literally at times with the squalor we have to do our work in.

“I have some.” She nods towards a Buddha statue place on the fireplace.

I pop the head off and immediately see a roll of money that was going to mean nobody is going home any time soon.

“It's all I could get, please. I'll get more by next Wednesday. I need to get Lexi working more”

Lexi - her 12-year-old daughter – was known to be working for Louis. I often saw Louis dragging her from door to door of the Block 89 offering her around. Most turned them away. Other times the door stayed open and the two eventually faded into the darkness of the house as the door closed behind them.

I hated these jobs; too much emotion and very little reward. Joey and I had been working together for about 3 years. He can hold his drink and a conversation so I didn't argue with the pairing.

We floated around freelance for a while; hearing jobs in the underground pubs off Block 12, posting cards in the immigrant offices whoring ourselves out whoever could pay. lovely jobs from lovely people. We are good at our jobs so eventually Tony invited us to work for him. Tony owned Block 89 and everyone in it.

The thing with Tony is he liked little girls. He liked to hurt them. I heard some poo poo about how he liked to write his name onto their bodies with a hot knife. I was about ready to shoot this gently caress in the face when I heard but Joey reminded me what was outside of the Block. He was right of course but I didn't like it.

Unfortunately a few days ago Lexi went to see Tony. This meeting didn't go to plan and a refund was requested. We are here now to get it.

“Please, I haven't anything more right now. Why don't you go into her room and have some fun for a while? She isn't very experienced but you can do anything you want to her. She doesn't make a sound.”

I feel the base of my throat become hot with bile. I want to be sick all over this woman. I want to go home and go to sleep and dream of a place away from here.

BLAM

I mustn’t have put the safety on while searching the house. I haven't been sleeping lately I suppose. That must be it.

Louis' head burst open down the left side, some of her teeth protruded through the hole in her cheek and her tongue was twitching in her blood filled mouth. I kneel down and brush her wet hair away from her eyes.

“What the actual gently caress have you done? Jesus. She's loving dead.”

Louis' pulse collar started to beep, we knew we didn't have much time before the alarm sounded. We needed to get her out of here: an unwarranted death would lead to our bounty collector licenses being revoked and a nice 12 month stint up in Tower 2.

“Get the girl.”

poo poo, Lexi. I knew we had to take her with us; she was a witness and I didn't want her to be left alone either. I knocked on her door and beckoned her out. Her eyes didn't leave the floor as she came to me. She saw her Mum's corpse and I swear for a second I saw a flicker of a smirk.

I hear Joey's gun click behind me. I turn around and feel the wind of a bullet fly past me. A soft fleshy thud makes me turn back towards Lexi. Joey had shot her in the neck. I feel a warm shower of blood up my neck and onto my face. Her eyes meet mine and I catch her before she collapses.

“Joey. Man, what the gently caress are you doing? poo poo.”

Joey wipes the sweat from his forehead and picks Louis' body up.

“C'mon man, we have to get her out of here. They'll think it was robbery or some paedo poo poo or..i don't loving know man, let's go.”

Louis' pulse collar was beeping faster. Every resident over 16 in the Blocks had to have a pulse collar. The crime rate had dropped by 62% in the 3 years they were introduced. If a person's heart rate drops to zero and stays there for 5 minutes an alarm is sounded, the whole floor is shut down and the local block police are called.

I put my finger into the gaping hole in her pale neck. It stemmed the blood slightly but she needs a medic. Lexi's face was glistening with sweat, the orange hue of the dawn sky lit half of her face up. She looked beautiful.

“I'm not going.”

“Get up.” Joey said, switching our radio channel off at the same time. “Come on. Up”

“You shot a kid Joe. A loving child.”

Doors began to open down the corridor. The bleeping loudly fills the air.

“I can't leave without you. I need you to fix this. They'll send me back, I can't leave her here alive.”

“Then shoot me Joey, I can't leave her. It's not right.”

Lexi began to convulse, dark clumps of blood began to ooze from her mouth. She was already dead but I couldn't leave her. She grabs my hand and I pick her up and rest her body against the wall, I pull her legs over mine and scoot underneath to support her. Her nightie has ridden up over her bruised legs. I pull it down.

The beeping from Louis' collar begins to beep so fast it becomes a constant high-pitched screech. Joey pulls his gun up and aims it towards me. He drops Louis' body to my feet and smiles.

“You went crazy. I'd never seen you like this. You started shooting.”

Joey shoots himself in the leg. He drops to the floor.

“I tried to stop you. I didn't want to, man...but.”

He lifts his gun up towards me. I turn to Lexi. She has gone. Who was going to stay with me?

*Bleep*

*Bleep*

*Ble*

Y's the broad named Louis?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Cocksman and cockshund
Meaty-Bone is given, ah!
Harmony and bliss

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

If you'd written like this earlier, I wouldn't have had to whoop you.

"gurrah, shitpost is as shitpost does, guv'na"


Shouldn't the title of this week be "Et Tu Thunderdome?"

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


sebmojowned bitch

lol

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


recommendation: invest 0.00 American dollars in Dropbox

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Mercedes posted:

Hey guys, I'm gonna explain my story. First, it's a metaphor for SHUT THE gently caress UP AND POST YOUR STORY

This, but as a gender identity

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Nubile Hillock posted:

that's nice, you're an anus

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Captain Trips posted:

The fact that Archie still existed when the macarena came into being has shattered my entire worldview. I thought Archie comics died in the 50s.


shut up re tard

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Martello posted:

shut up re tard

archie is eternal hero

immortal

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


oi! i fancy a butcher's at the judging card. takin ages, innit?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Roguelike posted:

Martello As Brothers, Once

You loving nailed the prompt. Some people might say it’s cliche, but gently caress those people. Cliches done well are a thing of beauty. You had an interesting setting and awesome use of a lot of strange countries and names to inform rather than confuse the reader. There’s a strong voice, characters that were fun to read, and a rocking mad king with an adorable dog.
Nitpicks. For a story that feels very grounded, the ending seems far too neat and tidy. Instead of a sense of unease for the future of this kingdom, I’m left with a feeling that everything’s basically all wrapped up.
Good stuff, but the Thunderdome Gods decreed that there must be three judges, not one, and so your choice of genre has doomed you, noble barbarian.

If This Story Was An X-Man It Would Be:
Selene. A 17,000 year old vampire that tears poo poo up but sets a poor example for the children by not wearing any clothes and posting white noise in the thread.



So the other two baby bitch judges are prejudiced against fantasy, uh?

for real, thanks. gonna expand and submit this one within the month.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


The Saddest Rhino posted:

Someone had better write a story of a germ who can't die and make it work.

E: Someone write this too:



Got it

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Play posted:

Hey I am really really grateful that you took the time to give me some feedback on my story and I think it was really good feedback too, the kind that I learn a lot from. I'm glad you sorta kinda didn't completely hate it too! Your effort in judging is much appreciated here.

For my money (note: I don't actually have money) I really liked the premises of crabrock and petrol blue's stories, you guys got me really interested and I thought the execution was good too, so thanks for the stories.

Finally, I'll probably regret this but count me IN

Much care in this post.

wots that guv'na, i thought careposting was forbidden

Indeed it is.








Much like dancing.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Fanky Malloons posted:

Pfft, I never said I didn't like it because it was fantasy - it was just not in my top three DEAL WITH IT, KITTENTITS.

Anyway, in lieu of critting everybody all at once, I'm going to do a few per day until I get them all done. I've decided that I can only enter this week's dome if I get everyone critted before the sign-up deadline on Friday. In the meantime, here are the notes I made while reading so that I would remember who wrote about what and why I hated it:

Mr_Wolf:
Tense issues SO MANY AUGH
clunky prose
Ambiguous descriptions "clutching a yellow bear with one eye"
CHILD PROSTITUTION
Cliches everywhere
UGH NO.

E-Bouef:
Soviet era breaking bad?
Not sure who gets betrayed here?
Not sure why there's a mention of her doing chemistry topless? Wtf.
SOLID MEH.

Fumblemaus:
TYPO
Good dialogue, mmmm yes
Really nice continuity w/dragon/lizard metaphor - super
Nice interpretation of betrayal - really good execution of the prompt.
I'm kind of jealous.
MUCH YES.

Feste:
Dense, dense prose, long sentences = hard to read/follow
zzzzzz
the man/our man, what
I hate this a lot
takes way too long to get to the point, so much pointlessness
VERY NO

Meinberg:
Hmm not sure how I feel abt 1st/2nd business
Prose is VERY GRAND WOT WOT
"Staring in mute amazement" Show don't tell bitch
"the first" "the second" is SUPER GRATING
I guess the prompt execution is aight though
MEH.

Fartello:
Though it was going to go into a super cliche flashback, phew, it didn't
"mad eyes" BORING
LOL dog steward
My dad says "mad as a box of frogs"
Mad mad mad. There are other words for crazy, USE THEM.
"watched in horror and interest" BARF
This is PRETTY OKAY I GUESS
INTERESTED MEH.

Tyrannosaurus:
" titular timber of their community’s namesake" WHAT IS YOUR DAMAGE
Liver is an organ, it doesn't attach to bone you numpty
oooh PLOT TWIST
I like the last line but literally nothing else
PRETTY MUCH NO.

Sebmojo:
Awesome little kid characterization
Confusion about who is looking at who at the dinner table
Nice writing as always, p decent betrayal
Kinda boring though?
MAYBE YES.

QUidnose:
"Alit" Awhat?
Also, what is even happening here?
Wait, I get it now I guess
Why are they talking like adults all of a sudden?
OOOH A HARSH BETRAYAL. Heartwrenching. Truly.
I THINK YES.

No Longer Flaky:
No, his hull donned a new layer of paint DUH
Um, boats are female FYI, WAY TO ADHERE TO TRADITIONAL GENDER ROLES YOU SHEEP
A pot. No two pots. JUST SAY TWO.
"Passengers were thrown forward with violence as the forward momentum was broken" forward forward foward...to overdescription
"What am I, a tool?” LOL YES
Let'S just pretend this convo never happened, okay?
Personification of the boat doesn't really work?
Also the betrayal is p lame tbh
SUPER MEH.

Kleptobot:
OMFG A BITE
"Sell us down the river" LOL THEY'RE ON A BOAT
A literal stab in the back? Bitch, please.
WTF why would his brother not be horrified to get STABBED TO DEATH
This story is bad and you should feel bad
MUCH NO.

sentientcarbon:
Wow Mama is a jerk
"harsh streaks of blah blah road map face" CALM YOUR TITS MAN, we know she's ugly okay.
Nooooo Jimmmyyyy D:
Dude. Why. D: D: D:
VERY YES.

Black Griffon:
Woo scifi!
Hmmm not enough detail? I'm not sure who these people are or what their relationship is.
Stupid typos, booo
Why does he have a sword and not like, a rad space laser?
Yeah, still not clear on what's going on re: who they are.
VERY MEH.

crackrock:
Snuck. Doesn't fit with the style of narration
I like the betrayal by an inanimate object
I like this one. ANOTHER.
MUCH YES.

Schneiders Ham:
YEAH PUNCH THAT KING IN EXILE
MAD. A MAD PLAN.
This boar hunt seems like a bad idea. Haven't you read GoT?
Not seeing any betrayal here
Although I GUESS the prompt doesn't state that you have to show it.
ALMOST YES.

Nubile Hillock:
What is condensation rain.
Hmm so archology is not a weird typo, but an object? Person?
TENSE SWITCH
Why randomly shortened wor's?
LOL atlatl wtf
MEH.

Jagermonster:
Ooh political intrigue
Decent imagery, doesn't succumb to overdescribing
Solid storytelling, bravo.
PROBABLY YES.

Mercedes:
What's with the DEAREST READER business?
Nigga :[
LOL a top ranking member of PETA?
Narrator breaking 4th wall isn't consistent enough
heheh dogs with hats
"...and poo poo" really doesn't fit with overall narrative style?
Ahaha WHAT THE gently caress
What are these black jesus shenaigans
I kind of hate this.
VERY NO.

JuniperCake (DQ):
Magical realism?
Whatever, it's p well done
TENSE FAULT SIGHTED
Awww sad elephant
MAYBE YES?

petrol blue:
it's = it IS, its = usually every other instance of the word GET IT RIGHT YOU rear end in a top hat
Nice depiction of hatefulness
Uh what? I don't get the ending
MEH

ThirdEmporer (DQ):
A quarter of a fifth?? In his cups? What is this, game of thrones?
Drunk guy at a funeral, never seen that before
zzzzzzz
NO, GOD.


SilkyMuffin:
Ugh, poetry AND an in-joke, gently caress you

Play:
WEll he's not getting any money for that coke if he just GIVES IT AWAY, GOD
"shuddering orgasms" are you serious
Hi I do a bunch of drugs and have crazy sex lol im cool
This is just like, a list of stuff that happened some time. Lame.
MUCH NO.

Seldom POsts:
ARCHIE FANFIC GTFO

Kaishai:
I was a teenage girl once, it was awful.
Totally cliched depiction of ED, but the mirror self being the rational actor is kinda cool I GUESS.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT DAD
MEH.


Walamor:
CLICHED COUNTRY GAL ALERT
EXPOSITION DROP
MORE CLICHE
MEH

Nikaer Drekin:
BUTCHER BARRY LOL
Bruhl is too close to Bruh and it's annoying
HI I'm Sarah and I'm an inanimate object
OMG crime show cliches all up in here, BARF-O-RAMA
SOLID NO

uranus:
Mwahahahaha evil scientists
WHY WOULD YOU ETCH THAT POT YOU MONSTER (not that you could afford it)
Hahahaha, nice betrayal though
LOL NO.

If I missed anyone, it's because you're dead to me.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Fanky Malloons posted:

Mercedes:
Nigga :[
What are these black jesus shenaigans

Mercedes is a irl black man pls check your filthy white Anglo-Canadian privilege tia

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


get on #kyrena

synirc

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


I saw one in Austin and there was a chick named Aunt Flo. She had red food coloring on her crotch and inner thighs. P classy imo

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


The Saddest Rhino posted:

Magic Realism: Go figure it out.

Nobody ever does.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Chairchucker posted:

The various references on it don't seem to agree on what it is, and not one single quoted reference agreed with the one that was pulled out of the arse of whichever judge used it as a prompt.

It was ESB and me and we didn't agree either.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


magnificent7 posted:

The gently caress, you can just addendum a brawl?

My addendum: Tell Don't Show.

You can't just addendum a brawl. Mercedes is a motherfuckin Unlockable Bonus Character. Did you not read the OP or what?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


america,newyork,close by canada, 2 1teen year old cates are entring an aboned litter box

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Sitting Here posted:



I am legit happy about this development.

whers my crit t-dog?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


DreadNite posted:

Oh my. That's quite a mouthful.

That's not the only part of him that's quite a mouthful

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


lol

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Sitting Here posted:

I am honored and invigorated by your challenge.

I accept; I beg only a fair and competent arbiter.

Add handsome in there and you've got me, so I'll do it.

Write up to 2000 words of cyberpunk/technoir/space-based near-future sci-fi. Any of those three, interpreted how you want. Writing about violent criminals and street mercenaries (my ouvre, in other words) may get you bonus points but ain't necessary at all. If you write a cyberpunk oppressed housewife story that gets the cyberpunk part across in a way that makes sense, I'll probably like it even more.

Deadline is Sunday night. If that's too short, let me know and we can figure something out.

so like, write some poo poo

Martello fucked around with this message at Jan 13, 2014 around 23:06

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


I meant this Sunday night.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


ReptileChillock posted:

Everyone's sick of this cyberBUNK bullshit, Martello. I'll brawl you for judgedom, 500 words due thursday night.

How will they know what their prompt is, weirdo? Will it change if you win?

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


ReptileChillock posted:

that's the idea!!! if I have to read another fukken cyberJUNK story i will srsly barf in my own mouth


and then eat it

gently caress off bitch

we can brawl for whatever else. making echo chamber and making GBS threads rear step outta their comfort zones.

It's what THUNDERDOME is about

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


you're the Pawn Stars of humanity

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


But seriously shut up and either write or don't post.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


hullo guv'na, lots of careposting and whining in the dome, innit?

sure is

but guv'na, I thought that was all forbidden?

SURE THE gently caress IS



STOP WHINING AND CAREPOSTING AND ARGUING WITH THE JUDGES

This is not the thread for it. There might be another monthly contest in CC right now, I don't loving know because I haven't checked. If you want to wheedle and whine about results and cry because someone's being mean to you, go find one of those or start your own. Don't loving do it here.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


ReptileChillock posted:

shutup, martello

you're careposting






shitlord

Oh yeah you want to brawl me.

Since you're a huge baby you pick the prompt and word count and even the judge.

Loser can't post in the thread for a week.

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Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Lion of Anathia

99 words

Androx Vanos waded through scarlet. His spatha, Death Herself, sliced armor and bone like straw.

The Horned King’s banner waved yonder. Androx rushed it, his last two Imperial Bodyguards running behind.

“Dromel!” The Imperator roared. “Come to me!”

The Horned King shoved aside one of his own men to see his enemy. His rams-horns dipped, as if in a bow. Dromel cut down an Anathian cataphract with a single blow of his greatsword.

A path was cleared.

Two unstoppable kings rushed together. Greatsword met spatha and rectangular shield. Thunder boomed. Blood sprayed. A kingdom fell, beneath a lion’s paws.

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