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It's a new year, Father Janus looks both forward and back. Role reversal - I'm in.
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# ¿ Jan 1, 2014 16:56 |
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# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 06:46 |
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Mercedes posted:Mercedes crushed the Red Dog 20/20 can in his spindly grasp, leftover beer foaming out of the top. He flung the beer carcass to the ground and stumbled to his computer with eyes firmly crossed and pants indubiously soiled. He pulled his computer chair out with the intention to sit on it, but his rear end found the floor nonetheless.
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# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 01:57 |
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sebmojo posted:New thread title imo
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# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 17:03 |
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# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 17:03 |
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Well good job there killer, the link doesn't work. Is "writocracy.come" a writer's porn site?
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# ¿ Jan 3, 2014 17:42 |
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As Brothers, Once 1241 The scarred blonde huskarl shook his head. “I’d swear by Saint Vortabin, he’s madder every day.” Rodic tapped his temple with the stump of his index finger. Dorn Vulhather, Thane of the King’s Huskarls, frowned. “Have respect. He’s still our king.” “Last council, he nearly strangled the steward!” Rodic made choking motions. “He lost his temper.” “He’s been strange since that witch cursed him outside Obersend.” The thane waved a hand. “If he’s a bit off - and I’m not saying he is - it’s from that head wound he took when the Obersenders sallied out.” Dorn rubbed his own bald head. “He didn't wake for a week.” Rodic counted on his fingers. “He mutters to himself, he wanders the castle in his nightshirt, and I caught him pissing in a fireplace yesterday. He’s mad, I’m telling you.” Dorn sighed. “Maybe so. We were as brothers, once. We fostered in Dartem together.” He fingered his longaxe, a faraway look in his pale blue eyes. # Two days later, Dorn stood guard while King Gremlaeca Skellan and his new Steward talked agriculture on a parapet. Dorn barely listened, distracted by the glory of Keloden spread before him. He remembered visiting the royal city as a boy with Gremlaeca. Keloden was then a mere sprawl of timber and wattle-and-daub buildings. Thirty years later, a trade boom with friendly neighbors doubled Keloden’s size. Anathian triremes, Andorth galleys, Varig longships, and native Grendish holks filled the harbor. A half-built stone cathedral already towered over the wooden Church of Saint Braghan. Dorn turned as Gremlaeca’s voice rose. “We can’t grow oranges on my Elten estate? Devil’s balls. I’m the King of Grenderholm, I’ll have oranges!” Steward Merthgar raised his palms. “Your majesty, we’re too far north.” Gremlaeca reddened. “By the Saints, I’ll have oranges!” Dorn moved closer. “But it’s not sensible…” Merthgar trailed off as Gremlaeca seized him at the hip and shoulder and lifted him over his head. The king was still a bull at fifty. Dorn grabbed Gremlaeca’s shoulder just as he hurled Merthgar over the battlement. He screamed all the way down. Gremlaeca shoved Dorn away. His eyes were wild, unfocused. “Unhand me, dog.” Dorn’s face grew hot, but he didn’t make to grab the king again. “For God’s sake, you just murdered him!” “A King can only execute.” Dorn crossed his arms. “The law applies to you like any other.” “You presume too much,” Gremlaeca roared. “I’ll throw you after him.” He lunged, locked rough hands around his thane’s throat. Dorn drew his shortsword and pressed the edge under the king’s chin. “Release me, or by Saint Braghan I’ll open your throat.” Gremlaeca kept his grip, mad eyes locked on Dorn’s. Finally, he let go. His whole body went slack and he almost fell, catching himself on the battlement. When he looked up at Dorn, the madness had passed. “By the Scion, what have I done? Forgive me, little brother. I wasn’t myself.” “I know,” Dorn said. He gripped his forearm, pulled him upright. “Let’s get you to your chambers.” “But Merthgar.” “That will need to be accounted for, but not now.” Dorn led his king to the stairs. # Dorn and Rodic leaned against the council chamber wall, awaiting the king’s arrival. Ivarr, a Varig member of the King’s Huskarls, stood nearby smoking a pipe. Andubren, thane of the city, exchanged vulgar jokes with Alred Skellan, the king’s nephew and heir. The Earls of Brethon and Gorsham sat together, both called to council as the closest High Nobles to Keloden. The king himself finally entered, his favorite hound on one side, the huskarl Wigstan on the other. It was Wigstan’s day to guard the king. The assembled nobles stood as Gremlaeca took his seat. At a gesture, the hound hopped up into the empty Steward’s chair. “Be seated.” The king waved his hand. “I present my new Royal Steward, Conbec of the Perfect Symmetry.” The hound lifted his ears at the sound of his name. Dorn’s mouth dropped open, and Rodic barely stifled a chuckle. Andubren’s face grew white, and the two Earls muttered to each other. “Uncle, you can’t possibly be serious.” Alred’s full lips bent in a smile. “One of your jokes?” “Not at all. Conbec will make an excellent steward. He obeys my every command.” He demonstrated, making the dog do tricks. “Now, the matter at hand. The two Earls are here to legitimize this war council.” “War council?” The Earl of Gorsham raised his eyebrows. “Indeed. I mean to invade Andor.” Alred snorted. “For what reason? We’ve been at peace with the Andorth for twenty years. They’re our best trading partners.” Gremlaeca turned his wild gaze on his nephew. “The pig-spawned bastards are stealing our water!” The chamber fell silent. After a few seconds, Andubren spoke. “What do you mean, your Majesty?” “The Devil-bitten river! The Limberloth flows east to Marevin and doesn’t stop. Soon Andor will have the whole thing!” Again, nobody spoke for a moment. Then Alred burst into laughter. “This is too much. You’re mad as a box of frogs!” Gremlaeca pointed a shaking finger. “You dare mock me? Throw him in the dungeon.” Conbec put his paws on the table and snarled. The huskarls escorted Alred out. In the hallway, he stared at Dorn. “You’re truly obeying that madman? He made his dog the Steward! He thinks the Andorth are stealing the bloody river!” “We know,” Dorn said. “We’re not jailing you. What can we do about him?” “Kill him, give Lord Alred the throne,” Rodic said. “That’s treason.” Dorn’s voice was tight. “There’s precedent,” Rodic said. “Saint Braghan himself established the House of Skellan with his bloodstained sword." Dorn shook his head. “We’re not Saint Braghan. Furthermore…” Alred held up a hand. “Rodic’s right. He’s not fit to rule Grenderholm.” Ivarr nodded. Dorn sighed and closed his eyes. “Very well. Let’s do it in the outer court. We need witnesses.” # In the outer court, nobles, merchants, and others watched in horror and interest as the King’s Huskarls bent Gremlaeca over a stool. Rodic held his shoulders, the king’s hands bound with his own belt. Rodic’s left eye was swollen shut, Dorn had a fresh bruise on his cheek, and Ivarr’s arm bled where Conbec had bitten him. Wigstan had the hound leashed, now. The remaining six King’s Huskarls stood by. Alred Skellan stood at the foot of the empty Rowan Throne. The Archbishop of Keloden stood nearby, having been in the outer court anyway. He’d been quickly convinced to bless Gremlaeca’s execution. Dorn’s deathstare and longaxe had helped. Alred addressed the crowd. “My uncle is no longer fit to rule. In the great tradition of our founder Saint Braghan, we remove him from the throne.” He nodded to Dorn. Rodic pushed the struggling king closer to the makeshift chopping block. Dorn hefted his longaxe. “Your last words?” Gremlaeca’s eyes were wide, bloodshot. “I’m the King! Release me, I’ll have you all eaten by pigs.” Dorn waited. The king dropped his head, then looked back up. His eyes were normal. “Not the axe, little brother,” he whispered. “Kill me like a warrior, not a thief.” Dorn nodded. Rodic let the king straighten, opened his tunic to expose his collarbone. Dorn laid the longaxe aside and drew his sword. He stepped behind the king, placed the tip just above his left collarbone. Gremlaeca nodded. Dorn thrust downwards. Blood spattered his face, ran down with the tears.
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# ¿ Jan 4, 2014 21:49 |
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Mr_Wolf posted:Block 89 1249 words Y's the broad named Louis?
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# ¿ Jan 5, 2014 02:53 |
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Cocksman and cockshund Meaty-Bone is given, ah! Harmony and bliss
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# ¿ Jan 5, 2014 08:16 |
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SurreptitiousMuffin posted:If you'd written like this earlier, I wouldn't have had to whoop you. "gurrah, shitpost is as shitpost does, guv'na" Shouldn't the title of this week be "Et Tu Thunderdome?"
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# ¿ Jan 5, 2014 16:18 |
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sebmojowned bitch lol
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# ¿ Jan 5, 2014 18:19 |
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recommendation: invest 0.00 American dollars in Dropbox
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 01:46 |
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Mercedes posted:Hey guys, I'm gonna explain my story. First, it's a metaphor for SHUT THE gently caress UP AND POST YOUR STORY This, but as a gender identity
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 02:49 |
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Nubile Hillock posted:that's nice, you're an anus
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 04:15 |
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Captain Trips posted:The fact that Archie still existed when the macarena came into being has shattered my entire worldview. I thought Archie comics died in the 50s. shut up re tard
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 04:16 |
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Martello posted:shut up re tard archie is eternal hero immortal
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2014 04:23 |
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oi! i fancy a butcher's at the judging card. takin ages, innit?
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# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 03:46 |
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Roguelike posted:Martello As Brothers, Once So the other two baby bitch judges are prejudiced against fantasy, uh? for real, thanks. gonna expand and submit this one within the month.
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# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 12:55 |
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Someone had better write a story of a germ who can't die and make it work. Got it
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# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 16:13 |
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Play posted:Hey I am really really grateful that you took the time to give me some feedback on my story and I think it was really good feedback too, the kind that I learn a lot from. I'm glad you sorta kinda didn't completely hate it too! Your effort in judging is much appreciated here. Much care in this post. wots that guv'na, i thought careposting was forbidden Indeed it is. Much like dancing.
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# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 16:13 |
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Fanky Malloons posted:Pfft, I never said I didn't like it because it was fantasy - it was just not in my top three DEAL WITH IT, KITTENTITS.
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# ¿ Jan 7, 2014 16:31 |
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Fanky Malloons posted:Mercedes: Mercedes is a irl black man pls check your filthy white Anglo-Canadian privilege tia
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 00:36 |
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get on #kyrena synirc
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 00:42 |
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 05:36 |
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I saw one in Austin and there was a chick named Aunt Flo. She had red food coloring on her crotch and inner thighs. P classy imo
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 06:02 |
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The Saddest Rhino posted:Magic Realism: Go figure it out. Nobody ever does.
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 18:30 |
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Chairchucker posted:The various references on it don't seem to agree on what it is, and not one single quoted reference agreed with the one that was pulled out of the arse of whichever judge used it as a prompt. It was ESB and me and we didn't agree either.
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 20:22 |
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magnificent7 posted:The gently caress, you can just addendum a brawl? You can't just addendum a brawl. Mercedes is a motherfuckin Unlockable Bonus Character. Did you not read the OP or what?
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2014 22:49 |
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america,newyork,close by canada, 2 1teen year old cates are entring an aboned litter box
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# ¿ Jan 9, 2014 21:59 |
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Sitting Here posted:
whers my crit t-dog?
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# ¿ Jan 9, 2014 22:01 |
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DreadNite posted:Oh my. That's quite a mouthful. That's not the only part of him that's quite a mouthful
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2014 14:27 |
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lol
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2014 18:46 |
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Sitting Here posted:I am honored and invigorated by your challenge. Add handsome in there and you've got me, so I'll do it. Write up to 2000 words of cyberpunk/technoir/space-based near-future sci-fi. Any of those three, interpreted how you want. Writing about violent criminals and street mercenaries (my ouvre, in other words) may get you bonus points but ain't necessary at all. If you write a cyberpunk oppressed housewife story that gets the cyberpunk part across in a way that makes sense, I'll probably like it even more. Deadline is Sunday night. If that's too short, let me know and we can figure something out. so like, write some poo poo Martello fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Jan 14, 2014 |
# ¿ Jan 13, 2014 23:08 |
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I meant this Sunday night.
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 00:06 |
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ReptileChillock posted:Everyone's sick of this cyberBUNK bullshit, Martello. I'll brawl you for judgedom, 500 words due thursday night. How will they know what their prompt is, weirdo? Will it change if you win?
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 02:43 |
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ReptileChillock posted:that's the idea!!! if I have to read another fukken cyberJUNK story i will srsly barf in my own mouth gently caress off bitch we can brawl for whatever else. making echo chamber and making GBS threads rear step outta their comfort zones. It's what THUNDERDOME is about
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 03:46 |
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you're the Pawn Stars of humanity
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 03:54 |
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But seriously shut up and either write or don't post.
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 03:56 |
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hullo guv'na, lots of careposting and whining in the dome, innit? sure is but guv'na, I thought that was all forbidden? SURE THE gently caress IS STOP WHINING AND CAREPOSTING AND ARGUING WITH THE JUDGES This is not the thread for it. There might be another monthly contest in CC right now, I don't loving know because I haven't checked. If you want to wheedle and whine about results and cry because someone's being mean to you, go find one of those or start your own. Don't loving do it here.
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 12:21 |
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ReptileChillock posted:shutup, martello Oh yeah you want to brawl me. Since you're a huge baby you pick the prompt and word count and even the judge. Loser can't post in the thread for a week.
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 15:40 |
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# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 06:46 |
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Lion of Anathia 99 words Androx Vanos waded through scarlet. His spatha, Death Herself, sliced armor and bone like straw. The Horned King’s banner waved yonder. Androx rushed it, his last two Imperial Bodyguards running behind. “Dromel!” The Imperator roared. “Come to me!” The Horned King shoved aside one of his own men to see his enemy. His rams-horns dipped, as if in a bow. Dromel cut down an Anathian cataphract with a single blow of his greatsword. A path was cleared. Two unstoppable kings rushed together. Greatsword met spatha and rectangular shield. Thunder boomed. Blood sprayed. A kingdom fell, beneath a lion’s paws.
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# ¿ Jan 14, 2014 23:32 |