NASCAR 2014 (Spring): Less Legitimacy Than Pro Wrestling

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NASCAR 2014 (Spring): Less Legitimacy Than Pro Wrestling

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The Chase? This poll is closed.
Augh	46	32.39%
gently caress	96	67.61%
Total:	142 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Goodbye, old thread. Hello, new thread.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 04:22

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:07

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Nemechek's four wins:
-1999 NHIS
-2001 Rockingham (Fall)
-2003 Richmond (Spring)
-2004 Kansas:

LordPants posted:

Smokin' Joe. And what a last win he had.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_2iWcwQ6I0

fake edit: I didn't realise he was the '92 Grand National champ beating Gordon and Bobby Labonte.

That's one of those finishes where I went "Uhh...umm...uh...Oh God WHO DO I PULL FOR?"

# ¿ Jan 23, 2014 16:19

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Peanut President posted:

^DNF I think

I'm CBJ, and I approve of this paint scheme.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2014 04:30

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

The Sporting News has a survey going trying to gauge who fans think the best and worst announcers in NASCAR TV are today: http://t.co/sFPg3NYteB

So, to kill time, let's do the same thing. Best and worst on-air talent on FOX, TNT, and ESPN and why? Must be active (we all know Ken Squier owns, but he hasn't called a race since '99, so he doesn't count.)

Best-
-Bestwick (man loves him some NASCAR and loves his job bringing it to the fan)
-Joy (veteran who is also excellent and tempers DW)
-Dallenbach (calls it like he sees it)

Worst-
-Briscoe ("So, Joey, if this race, which is rain-delayed past halfway and you're leading, ended now, would you be happy?" Just bad.)
-Michael Waltrip (self-explanatory)
-Spake (Also bad.)

e- Like the original survey, pick three.

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Jan 25, 2014

# ¿ Jan 25, 2014 16:34

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

NASCAR-related racing. On the TV!

Rolex 24:
-FOX: 2-4pm Eastern
-FS2: 4-9pm Eastern
-IMSA.com: 9pm-7am Sunday, Eastern
-FS1: 7am-2pm Sunday

Chat in #nascar

# ¿ Jan 25, 2014 20:25

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Uncle Jam posted:

In 1983 Mike Potter finished 28th and last place at Bristol. His sponsor was Larry's Nightclub.

For a second, I thought the sponsor on his C-post was one of those black and red "For Sale" signs.

# ¿ Jan 27, 2014 02:43

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

In other "Let's make some changes to NASCAR because" news, the All-Star Open will now run Friday instead of immediately before the All-Star Race.

# ¿ Jan 28, 2014 20:36

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Ryan Blaney is getting the Roush Development Driver treatment: He'll still only run 15 NNS races this year, but does get to try to make two Cup races.

# ¿ Jan 29, 2014 22:25

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

PatrickBateman posted:

Is there a fantasy league this year?

Not yet.

e- There is now:

Group ID: 5780
PW: sascar

Do Fantasy players want their worst score in each segment dropped or not?

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 04:39 on Jan 30, 2014

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 04:34

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Clint Bowyer's Sore Arm. Been waiting to use that since September.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 06:17

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Brian Vickers has been medically cleared to drive in 2014.

VikingSkull posted:

In as Talladega Flight School.

Also, Bowyer had an itchy arm and needed to scratch it.

I wondered why that didn't sound right.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 17:26

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Joe Nemechek to MWR for the races Jeff Burton and Michael Waltrip don't run.

Yes, Front Row Joe.

I can't tell if since Jay Robinson is involved that this will be like TBR/SHR a couple years ago with the 10 or not.

Fag Boy Jim posted:

Boy, that looks an awful like...dare I say it...a bracket?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXDNlI7yreo

Kyle Busch also said something like a win in each of the first three rounds guarantees a berth in the next round.

kidcoelacanth posted:

wooo

I don't quite understand why NASCAR has yet to consider maybe making these drastic changes to their lower series to see if they work there first.

This assumes Brian France has common sense. Though, it is a good point, seeing as all the other sports he wants to emulate try stuff in the minors first.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 19:37

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

L_Harrison posted:

Whoever wins, we all lose.

Ok, who would be the worst possible Final Four in terms of people we don't want to win?

I'm taking Kenseth, Biffle, Jimmiebot, and Kyle. :shepicide:

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 19:52

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

The National Weather Service has issued a Shitstorm Warning for: America. Effective until: The Apocalypse. Shitstorm conditions are rapidly developing following this news:

quote:

Jenna Fryer ‏@JennaFryer 3m

Confirmed: Under this format, Dale Earnhardt Jr. would have won the 2013 Sprint Cup title.

Conditions will include redneck rage and poo poo hitting fans.

e- Beaten. So here's Harry Gant, three time Winston Cup Champion:

http://nascarnomics.com/appendix-points/

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 20:14

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

It's as much coincidence as the RoTY eligibility changing in time for Danica Patrick's rookie season.

quote:

Jeff Gluck ‏@jeff_gluck 11m
.@odsteve says his message to you is this: "Give this a chance, bc this is still the sport you love. This elevates the sport you love."

These are the Chase changes you're looking for.

These are the changes we're looking for, guys. The Jedi Wizard at NASCAR said so. Move along.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 20:20

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

ellspurs posted:

Would Nationwide ever reach 16 (or even 10) eligible winners?

Now I want to see it in NNS because they would all but have to ban Buschwackers, unless they made it like the Dash4Cash, in which mediocrity is rewarded.

quote:

Motor Racing Network ‏@MRNRadio 55m
"The casual fan doest understand points racing and this clears all that & puts more emphasis on winning" - #NASCAR Brian France. #AskMRN

I'm sure casual NFL fans don't understand the playoff system, yet still watch.

BMB5150 posted:

Gordon would've won the 2000 championship under this guise... oh my loving god, what the hell...

That was the first year where Jeff Gordon was irrelevant most of the season. I think he finished 9th in points and "only" won three races. Wow.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 20:35

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

I pledge to boo the gently caress out of whatever NFL franchise Brian France buys into with his golden parachute someday, because he's trying his damndest to make it happen.

bigbillystyle posted:

Yeah that sucks. Looks like the C list will once again be a desert of start 'n parkers. At least Austin Dillon is on the C list but after 9 races using him its Danica, a start 'n park or a one off entry from somebody like Michael Waltrip or Ron Fellows or something.

The B list has a lot of options though which is nice. Best looking B group in a couple years I'd say.

Kyle Larson's on the C list, as probably the entire rookie class will be.

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 21:09

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Peanut President posted:

Breaking news...yes it seems that Batista is challenging for the NASCAR Sprint Cup in a Tables, Ladders, & Chairs match!

America when Dale Junyer loses:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvXRoe3vui0

(I was hoping for an excuse to post that in here for some ungodly reason, and Peanut gave me a softball. :hfive:

)

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 22:46

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Kevin Harvick: "HEY. Kyle Busch. ROWDAAYYYYY. You think you're tough, huh? You've got 7 wins this year, but that doesn't mean poo poo. You know why? Because the rest of the season doesn't matter, baby. And at Winner Take All, it's all about me. I still owe you a walling from Darlington. And I am th--"

Allen Bestwick: "Oh, wait...WAIT A SECOND..."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rItulX_r-0A

"...THAT'S KYLE BUSCH'S MUSIC!"

# ¿ Jan 30, 2014 22:56

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Kwik posted:

Someone call Brian France, I've got an idea!

If one WINNER TAKE ALL race is good, what about...36?

The winner of the Daytona 500 is the "provisional Champion". If he keeps winning, he stays the champ, and if someone else wins, they're the champion. Whoever wins Homestead gets the big prize. Everyone's in the Chase! And the excitement goes ALL YEAR LONG!

Have I got a future at NASCAR, or what?

A nine-month ladder match. SASCARasslin' goons, what say you?

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 01:42

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

kidcoelacanth posted:

I'll have you know I'm watching in the futile hopes that Kevin Harvick will get the Championship he was robbed of, sir.

I've been waiting 12 years for the Drive for Five to be completed. It should've been done six years ago.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2014 04:24

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Jeff Gordon has a new paint scheme which makes the Axalta logo on the hood look less awkward:

http://www.jayski.com/news/schemes/2014/story/_/page/2014-NASCAR-Sprint-Cup-24-Team-Schemes

# ¿ Feb 2, 2014 02:58

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Brian France clicked that thread and now plans on NASCAR on the Moon by the end of the decade.

# ¿ Feb 2, 2014 17:14

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Hate it or love it, the underdog's on top:

quote:

Jenna Fryer ‏@JennaFryer 12m
Swan Racing has partnered with 50 Cent's audio and electronics company. Headphones and kisses for everyone!

Jenna Fryer ‏@JennaFryer 12m
SMS Audio will be on Swan's cars, Kligerman and Whitt's firesuits, and both drivers will be featured on Swan-branded SMS Audio headphones.

Has anybody told Fitty who Swan, PK, and Whitt are?

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 17:14

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Community Service. Community Service is a punishment for a NASCAR rule violation.

:roflolmao:

e- What the gently caress in the NASCAR realm constitutes community service? Driver has to ride along in the sewage truck that pumps out the port-a-potties after a race weekend? Driver has to pump the sewage?

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 20:19 on Feb 4, 2014

# ¿ Feb 4, 2014 20:16

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Morgan Shepherd making the Daytona 500 would be cool.

I think this got lost in the shuffle of the new Chase news, but Joe Nemechek is going to MWR for the races Mikey and Jeff Burton don't run, so 26-29 races. Whether he'll actually drive MWR cars or if this will be NEMCO equipment masquerading as MWR stuff (like Reutimann/SHR a couple years ago) is unknown.

Jayski says the 87 may run with another driver when Joe's in the 66. If it's another full-time team, I'll take it.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 17:36

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Is the NRA really a worse sponsor than Duck Dynasty, NASCAR?

FuzzySkinner posted:

http://motorsportstalk.nbcsports.com/2014/02/06/were-ducking-serious-april-texas-nascar-race-is-the-duck-commander-500/

Dick..err..I mean Duck Commander to sponsor the spring Texas Race.

...

In all seriousness, I've been waiting for a "Bubba the Plumber" like parody from Squidbillies in regards to these guys.

DO IT TO IT!

Drop the pipe wrench, jackass!

# ¿ Feb 6, 2014 19:48

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Uncle Jam posted:

That was waaaaaay before 2001, like when Jeff foxworthy vhs were getting passed around.

Didn't King of the Hill introduce the Lucky character to differentiate between "The Hills are Rednecks; Lucky is White Trash"? I'd stopped watching KotH by that point.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2014 17:03

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Do I make you Hornish, baby? Do I?

# ¿ Feb 8, 2014 18:32

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

By my count, there are still 19 spots open for Yahoo SASCAR Fantasy 2014. If you haven't registered yet, come on in.

Group- 5780 (SASCAR Cup Series)
PW- sascar

Also, weren't we thinking of doing a LASTCAR-style Fantasy game this year? Pick the drivers in each category you think will finish the worst?

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 02:44

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Numerical driver list:

Full-time:
1- Jamie McMurray
2- Brad Keselowski
3- Austin Dillon
4- Kevin Harvick
5- Kasey Kahne
7- Michael Annett (R)
9- Marcos Ambrose
10- DANICUHHHHHHHH
11- Denny Hamlin
13- Casey Mears
14- Smoke
15- Clint Bowyer
16- Greg Biffle
17- Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.
18- Kyle Busch
20- Matt Kenseth
22- Joey Logano
23- Alex Bowman (R)
24- Jeff Gordon
26- Cole Whitt (R)
27- Paul Menard
30- Parker Kligerman (R)
31- Ryan Newman
32- ?
33- ?
34- David Ragan
35- ?
36- Reed Sorenson
38- David Gilliland
41- Kurt Busch
42- Kyle Larson (R)
43- Aric Almirola
47- AJ Allmendinger
48- Jimmie Johnson
51- Justin Allgaier (R)
55- Brian Vickers
66- Michael Waltrip (Daytona)/Jeff Burton (6-8 races)/Joe Nemechek (the rest of the races)
77- Dave Blaney
78- Martin Truex, Jr.
83- Ryan Truex (R)
87- Joe Nemechek
88- JUNYER
98- Josh Wise
99- Carl Edwards

Part-time/One-off:
12- Ryan Blaney
21- Trevor Bayne
33- Brian Scott (RCR @ Daytona)
40- Landon Cassill
35- Eric McClure (Daytona)
52- Bobby Labonte
93- Morgan Shepherd (Daytona)
95- Michael McDowell

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 21:46 on Feb 9, 2014

# ¿ Feb 9, 2014 21:43

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Elitist Bitch posted:

So apparently someone decided female NASCAR fans have more money than brains and hired Alyssa Milano to develop a ladies line of NASCAR apparel. I just can't see paying 2-3 times as much for one of her shirts as for a men's shirt or even less for a kid's shirt. Her NFL stuff was certainly really nice looking, but not worth the price.

I'm sure it doesn't matter to you guys, unless you have girlfriends or relatives you buy for. This sort of merchandise is so drat expensive anyway, and I think it really sucks that women have to pay a premium for their merchandise. It's also why I own two football jerseys and three baseball jerseys and all but one are size kids XL.

Fervently hoping this does not happen.

They were pimping the unveiling of this stuff hard during the Coke Zero 400 week. You could even buy the stuff and get it signed by Milano in the FanZone.

My question all along was "Why is Alyssa Milano designing NASCAR clothes?".

# ¿ Feb 10, 2014 00:45

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

bigbillystyle posted:

When essentially the only living legend of the sport speaks out to how horrible you are that has to be a pretty big blow to the ego right before speedweeks.

Danica Patrick released a reaction:

"LALALALALALALALALALALALA I can't hear him LALALALALA GODADDY, GOGODADDY, I am the best and Richard Petty is picking on me LALALALALALALA!"

e- Brian Williams (NASCAR fan) just brought the story up on the NBC News.

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 01:24 on Feb 11, 2014

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 01:09

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Who's ready for NASCAR 'Murica?

http://www.nascar.com/en_us/news-media/articles/2014/2/11/nascar-nbc-sports-new-daily-show-after-daytona-500.html

# ¿ Feb 11, 2014 18:05

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

I know it's NBC's call, but NASCAR America being co-hosted by an Australian is the most NASCAR thing.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 03:50

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

LordPants posted:

He's an American Citizen, he's your problem now.

Not complaining at all. Leigh Diffey owns.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 05:23

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Bad news: I'm going to be stuck out of town due to the weather until Saturday night.

~~Good news: The second flight to get me home has Satellite TV and FOX is in their lineup, so I'm watching the Shootout after all on Delta.~~

e- For the first time, the race is on FS1. Get hosed, NASCAR.

CBJSprague24 fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Feb 12, 2014

# ¿ Feb 12, 2014 18:45

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Elitist Bitch posted:

That C&D came quick.

Heh. "I'm going to take my original game down because I'm horrified people got addicted to it, but DAMNIT YOU BETTER NOT COPY IT AND REPOST!".

# ¿ Feb 13, 2014 19:12

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

Guess who's going to ask one of the bars at the airport to change the channel so he can watch a god drat LOL ARCA race during a layover tomorrow afternoon? This guy.

mearn posted:

This car recently disappeared from the NASCAR restaurant at Universal Orlando.

I'm pretty sure it's somewhere within the ARCA garage at Daytona right now.

Is that thing a Transformer?

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 16:36

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 19:07

CBJSprague24: Dec 5, 2010; another game at nationwide arena. everybody keeps asking me if they can fuck the cannon. buddy, they don't even let me fuck it

CARS ARE ON TRACK :siren:

I'm going to #nascar.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2014 23:04

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NASCAR 2014 (Spring): Less Legitimacy Than Pro Wrestling

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