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I am in a theater right now with 3D glasses waiting to watch Eva Green on the big screen in glorious 3 dimensions commit unspeakable acts of horror.
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Mar 7, 2014 06:00
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Aces High posted:I think I will see this in the cheap theatres or with a free ticket that I sometimes get because while it will be interesting for seeing how over-the-top Eva Green will be it won't be the same without David Wenham narrating Having just got back from seeing this I've got bad news, the extent of his lines is pretty much just "Oh hey, Themistocles." The only reason to see this is Eva Green, who is awesome, but don't waste your money on seeing it in the theater. Themistocles is ok, but he's standing deep in the shade of Butler's Leonidas. Also Sparta sure doesn't act like Sparta for 99.9% of their contractually obligated appearance. Man, sure is a good thing ol' Themistocles paid a visit and reminded them that man it feels good to vengeance kill some Persians. Otherwise they'd have sat out the war listening to Nu-Metal. It's 300 brought to you by some guy who is totally convinced that he for sure gets how to do that slow mo thingy that Snyder does. Unfortunately he doesn't, unless Snyder actually does completely random slo mo and I'm only remembering it having a stylistic point. Nor does he know how to either build up or end a scene. And the end is just dumb, though honestly I can't tell how much of the blame lies at his inept feet and how much goes to that ridiculous writing. Pro tip: A vast fleet of reinforcements come to save the 5 remaining Athenian ships in their hopeless fight against the Persian Armada only works when they actually save the day when all hope seems lost. After Themistocles rides his horse around the Persian ships and has beaten the final boss is not only anticlimactic but stupid. Guess you gotta cram them Spartans in there for at least 30 seconds. Also some other Greek City State with white sails, Whothefuckcaresinthia. Also thank god for that Xerxes back story that is pretty drat pointless. Sure was curious how he became a god king of EVIL!!! Spoiler: It was evil magics.
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Mar 7, 2014 06:04
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Yes, I was trying to destroy greece - and i would have gotten away with it too, If it wasn't for meddling hoplites!
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Mar 7, 2014 06:24
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Goddamn, that sex scene will go down in history. I was loving rolling. I was thinking, the only thing it needed was two of those Immortal warriors looking at each other in confusion...low and behold. The movie did deliver in that, at least. Thankfully, I saw it in a double feature with 300. Which is still silly and cheesy, but there's a heart to it. I love that movie. It knows what it is, and it's nothing more. This new one looked just like that History Channel documentary about the Spartans when 300 came out. It felt like a cheap TV special, and not a sequel to any film ever put into a theater. Pretty dull. But that sex scene. Haha.
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Mar 7, 2014 07:07
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Christ Eva Green is worth the price of admission. Owns.
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Mar 7, 2014 07:16
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I have zero desire to see this movie but I want to know all about the sex scene.
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Mar 7, 2014 08:20
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Slackerish posted:I have zero desire to see this movie but I want to know all about the sex scene. It is hands down awesome. Worthy of the best in cinema and tells a story and of characterization as well. You fight harder than you gently caress! Good God I am in love. Eva Green carries it on her back.
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Mar 7, 2014 08:36
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Gatts posted:It is hands down awesome. Worthy of the best in cinema and tells a story and of characterization as well. You fight harder than you gently caress! Good God I am in love. I was hoping more for specific details
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Mar 7, 2014 08:41
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Gatts posted:It is hands down awesome. Worthy of the best in cinema and tells a story and of characterization as well. You fight harder than you gently caress! Good God I am in love. I am now imagine a man taking her from behind while she fights dudes I am going to be disappointed
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Mar 7, 2014 09:15
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The Sex Scene as I remember it. They pretty much redo the scene where Xerxes asks Leonidas to talk with him, almost verbatim. "Oh they might kill you!" "We're not that dumb!" Therms gets onto Eva Green's ship, and they make some small talk. Then they go down below. Eva Green promises him freedom and poo poo if he surrenders. Therms says no. Eva Green then talks about skin and steel, and they get to straight FUCKIN. It's like a battle. They're slamming each other into the walls, and onto the battle plans, moaning, grunting, making hilarious facial expressions. This goes on for about 2 minutes and then they cut away to two Immortal soldiers listening to this noise, and looking at each other in confusion. I was laughing at this point, so I missed what happened, but Eva Green pretty much throws Therms off her and makes a comment about how he's "just a man". And he sulks away. Never finishing. It's better in the movie. My memory is a bit hazy from laughing so hard.
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Mar 7, 2014 09:21
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Alan Smithee posted:I am now imagine a man taking her from behind while she fights dudes Depends. It's not necessarily just a gently caress scene, it's negotiation, a fight, raw energetic sex exploding, a character noment, tells the whole story, adds a needed woman's touch to the homoerotic, etc. It's a pretty awesome and deep scene (balls deep, lol). But the best shot is after when she's holding the blade to the dude's throat. Just bask for a moment in that visual. I'm sure someone like SMG can break it down and get a lot out of it. EDIT: And yes, it's over the top and hilarious. It makes the movie, imo.
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Mar 7, 2014 09:22
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Gatts posted:Eva Green carries it on her back. I bet she does!
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Mar 7, 2014 10:45
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I remember seeing the first 300 with my dad in theaters and the sex scene in that one being pretty awkward to watch because he was there with me, so I think I'll have to see this one to see how awkward it is to watch in comparison.
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Mar 7, 2014 10:48
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CelticPredator posted:The Sex Scene as I remember it. You're missing the best part! Just when you think they're done, Therms gets a big second wind and bends her over and starts giving it to her from behind. That part had everyone in the theatre howling with laughter. That was right before she dismissed him as being just a man..
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Mar 7, 2014 12:56
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I'm sure the actual Athenian politician Themistocles would be so honored to know we remember him as a naked barbarian who does Eva Green doggy style 
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Mar 7, 2014 13:44
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Piedmon Sama posted:I'm sure the actual Athenian politician Themistocles would be so honored to know we remember him as a naked barbarian who does Eva Green doggy style Who wouldn't be honored by that?
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Mar 7, 2014 14:01
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Piedmon Sama posted:I'm sure the actual Athenian politician Themistocles would be so honored to know we remember him as a naked barbarian who does Eva Green doggy style To be fair, we remember the several positions of his gently caress fight(aggressive negotiation?) with the Persian Admiral, Eva Green. Also his hilarious following scene where he tries to tell his boys, without directly saying so.
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Mar 7, 2014 14:21
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CopywrightMMXI posted:You're missing the best part! Just when you think they're done, Therms gets a big second wind and bends her over and starts giving it to her from behind. That part had everyone in the theatre howling with laughter. That was right before she dismissed him as being just a man.. AHAH! Yes! Thank you! That was the part that killed me!
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Mar 7, 2014 20:46
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CelticPredator posted:The Sex Scene as I remember it. This sounds campy and fun. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you trying to get me to see this piece of poo poo?
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Mar 7, 2014 22:19
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I saw the original 300 sober however I will not make the same mistake this time and get high as balls before stepping into the theatre.
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Mar 8, 2014 01:49
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Grey Fox V2 posted:I saw the original 300 sober however I will not make the same mistake this time and get high as balls before stepping into the theatre. I'm not gonna lie - I was pretty baked when I saw this and it didn't help.
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Mar 8, 2014 02:32
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CopywrightMMXI posted:I'm not gonna lie - I was pretty baked when I saw this and it didn't help. Yeah I imagine something like triple the recommended dose of a pre workout supplement would be better.
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Mar 8, 2014 07:41
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I didn't really like the first one, and wasn't going to bother with this, but I ended up seeing in a whim with a friend and was kind of pleasantly surprised. Sure, the main character is incredibly boring, as is the plot, but drat if Eva Green doesn't just kill it. Also, that sex scene.
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Mar 8, 2014 14:06
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I saw this movie because we were supposed to see Philomena, but the movie theater took our passes whilst forgetting that they were doing a special showing of the 300 sequel. So we saw this instead. Here is what I learned about 300 - Rise of an Empire: Movies can have SexFights. A bunch of dudes get their limbs chopped the gently caress off. Horses can swim(?). I really wanted to make out with the girl seeing the movie with me, but maybe we'll end up as friends instead, I dunno. This movie is WAY better if you think of it as opposing gay leather bars arguing about petty poo poo. Xerxes is kind of a bitch. If you go into battle with your son, one of you is most certainly going to die. Powering boats with slaves is bad, and it's better to power your boat with democratic Athenian muscle. MOVIES CAN HAVE SEX FIGHTS!
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Mar 8, 2014 15:25
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Tumble posted:Horses can swim(?). Virtually all mammals can swim. Plus that was a free horse of Athens, and he'd be damned if he failed to keep his horse brothers free from the tyranny of Persian saddles.
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Mar 8, 2014 17:18
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CelticPredator posted:AHAH! Yes! Thank you! That was the part that killed me! The whole theater I was at last night found the over the top sex battle scene funny too especially the two shrugging persian guards. Also Eva Green gets em out and they still wonderful as you remember. etalian fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Mar 8, 2014 |
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Mar 8, 2014 18:05
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It was probably the funniest sex scene in 2014, but not the funniest such scene in 365 days (which goes to The Counselor).
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Mar 8, 2014 18:11
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I've got a free ticket to this since I got the bluray of the first movie, is it worth seeing in the theatre for free?
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Mar 8, 2014 18:24
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Xenomrph posted:I've got a free ticket to this since I got the bluray of the first movie, is it worth seeing in the theatre for free? Absolutely.
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Mar 8, 2014 18:53
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Eva Green's character is pretty much the only interesting one in the whole movie.
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Mar 8, 2014 20:00
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Xenomrph posted:I've got a free ticket to this since I got the bluray of the first movie, is it worth seeing in the theatre for free? Yes. Paying a cent more? No. Unless it's a double screening with the first movie.
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Mar 8, 2014 20:10
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etalian posted:Eva Green's character is pretty much the only interesting one in the whole movie. Reading the wiki article about her, Artemesia seems like the kind of character that should get her own movie rather than co-star in this. I'm glad they got a decent actress for her.
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Mar 8, 2014 20:33
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The movie was kind of weird as a whole. There's a lot of jumping around in time (but characters never age) and an oddly large focus on Xerxes and his backstory even though he's probably in this less than the original 300. Also the battles feel really pointless in this and don't feel like they have any stakes. And as much as I like Peter Mensah his inclusion in this movie was super stupid.
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Mar 8, 2014 21:42
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That...was a very strange movie. It was not good. I did like the inclusion of some things the hellespont was cool but all in all it was disjointed, and that sex scene holy moly.
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Mar 8, 2014 23:04
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They had a couple of call backs to characters from the first movie. I got the Persian emmisary from 300 being the guy who rescued\trained Artemesia, but who was the Greek with the beard when she was in the slave ship? Was that the "good" Spartan senator? Going to echo the fact that this movie felt awfully disjointed, and that the Spartans were shoehorned in during there scenes. Despite the various weak points of the film, I think that the first naval combat scene was presented in an interesting fashion. Spoilers? When you see the Persian fleet appear, they're cresting a huge wave, with the Athenian circle of boats presented in a circle of light at the "bottom" of the wave. Despite the water acting normally, throughout that entire scene, you have the Persian ships bearing "down" on the Greeks, echoing the scene from the battle of Marathon where the Athenians do the same thing to the Persian landing forces. It was a scene that had a glimmer of technical greatness, but I think, like the rest of the movie it was ultimately fumbled by the director. I might not be as articulate as some of the other posters in here, but the movie had to overcome a post-Spartacus movie-watching public, and had to compensate against its strengths to make up for that. Had this followed up 300 within 2-3 years, I think it would have been a much better film. One thing that just made the film for me was that it went out of the way to say "Spartans are dicks, no one likes them, but they love to fight so we kind of need them". Now I want an Anabasis movie.
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Mar 8, 2014 23:28
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AHahahah man this movie. There were so many silly things. It was INCREDIBLY over the top, I mean, everything that could have been taken to an 11 was taken to an 11. There was so much CGI blood it could fill a CGI stadium. Eva Green was most definitely the best part of the movie. It was entertaining, but there are just so many things that made me say "WHAT?" especially when the loving HORSE suddenly appears in the middle of a naval battle Dumb, way dumber than the first film, but certainly entertaining. My friends and I were howling with laughter at some of the ridiculous deaths. I found it hilarious how there were some fights were it seemed like the Athenians were just chopping down every single Persian left and right without any effort, cutting through layers of armor and cloth as if it wasn't even there... and then when a single Athenian gets a scratch on his arm its suddenly this HUGE MOMENT OF DRAMA... Oh also I'm pretty sure at one point in this movie the Athenians call the Spartans "boy lovers", so I guess back then every jock called everyone else human being too just like today. Actually this movie is pretty great now that I think about it, if you go into it as if it were a comedy.
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Mar 8, 2014 23:52
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I thought the movie was pretty good. It delivered exactly what it promised, which is more than most blockbusters can accomplish. Goofy, gratuitously violent, and homoerotic.
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Mar 9, 2014 01:23
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All I can say is that if you enjoyed the first 300 movie this one is a great time and delivers pretty much everything from the first movie but with large naval battles this time. Lots and LOTS of blood, violence, washed-out colors and hammy dialogue with a large number of callbacks to the first film with a slight sequel hook where we see Xerxes at the end on the shore, watching the end of the naval battle where his troops and ELEPHANTS are waiting for the united Greek forces. Overall, if you hated the first 300 movie this one will not do anything for you but as an action movie it more than had enough of it for a good time. Oh yes, and the sex scene in this movie was just so drat...odd yet appropriate for the era when you think about it. OK, so Artemisia brings Themistocles in for negotiations in the form of seduction which quickly turns into very aggressive sex. Que the reaction shot of the guards outside, which had my theatre laughing as well, followed by Themistocles just simply saying "no" revealing he was really just a dude looking for a quick gently caress. It's kind of appropriate for this little fantasy world in a way. Justin Godscock fucked around with this message at 06:48 on Mar 9, 2014 |
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Mar 9, 2014 06:42
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I hope they make a sequel where the Spartans get their rear end beaten by 300 flamboyantly effeminate Thebans.
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Mar 9, 2014 22:32
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Tumble posted:
This was fun but not as fun as the first. It has a lot of the same things going for it, big showy fight scenes and over the top-ness, but it's missing something; it just doesn't have any of the "this is where we fight, this is where they die" scenes from the first that make that one so rewatchable. When they cut to a scene of Leonidas and his Spartan bros marching off to their deaths, I was kinda hoping they'd just show the movie 300 again. Enjoyable but as a whole, even seeing it in 3D Imax most of the film left this reviewer cold!
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Mar 9, 2014 22:38
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