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dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
DEADLINE: May 17, 2014 at 9:00 PM EST.
In South India, we have a tradition called Kalantha Saadam, or கலந்த சாதம். It involves cooked long grain rice that's been allowed to cool for a bit, and tossed with spices of your liking.

What it is.
Fluffy, separate rice, with some kind of addition, that easily mixes through. For example, if you were to take a small amount of greens, steam them, grind them in the blender, and then add a tarka to it (mustard, cumin, etc etc), and then toss it with plenty of rice, you'd have a mixed rice. Think of it more like a pasta alla ________, where the pasta takes the main stage. Yes, you have a little bit of sauce, but there's supposed to be mostly pasta.

So like, risotto wouldn't count, because it's too squishy, and not separate and fluffy. Same reason a fried rice wouldn't really count, because you're not having ingredients that are more or less interspersed through the rice. Tomatoes work, because you cook them down to a gravy. Very small quantities of shredded vegetables work, as long as there's mostly rice in the dish. It's basically fluffy, long grain rice, with a bit of flavouring to it to make it more interesting than plain white rice.

Here's the basic template:

http://goonswithspoons.com/Lemon_Rice

Basically, you start with hot fat, then add mustard seed, cumin seed, urad daal (if you have it), curry leaves, ginger, nuts, turmeric, and whatever flavouring you like. In the case of tomato rice, you add garlic, tomatoes, and some cilantro. In the case of coconut rice, you skip the turmeric, and use freshly grated (or fine unsweetened desiccated coconut that's been rehydrated in boiling water) coconut. For tamarind rice, you go through a million and a half steps. There are versions that use all kinds of herbs, like cilantro, curry leaves, and spinach, blanched, all ground up together, and tossed through. There are version that use freshly grated mango.

This is the ultimate in peasant foods. You don't use ghee, because ghee is expensive. You can use ghee in the sides, but not the rice itself. You don't use garlic very often (although some people do, when making tamarind or tomato rice), because the kalantha saadam is frequently offered to the gods, and you don't put garlic or onion in food that you offer to the gods. It's made in massive quantities. It's made for every festival, potluck, and picnic. It keeps for a good long time at room temperature.

Couple of guidelines:

- Use the longest grain rice you can find. If you can get basmati, so much the better. Jasmine is excellent. Carolina long grain is great too.
- Let the rice cook through, and then spread it on a plate to cool to room temperature. You can technically do the tossing while the rice is hot, but you might end up mashing the grains, and that's not what this is meant to be at all. This is meant to be super fluffy, super separate rice.
- Avoid brown rice, as it tends to be a little too sticky.
- Feel free to use quinoa, millet, or other grains too. In South India, you cook what you can get your hands on. If you don't have rice, you use poha. If you don't have poha, you use oats. If you don't have those, you use millet. If you don't have millet, you use noodles. I'm so not even joking. I can't tell you the number of times my mum has made lemon rice using vermicelli noodles, and it comes out great.
- Don't skimp on the heat, if you like heat. The best way to do it is to slice green or red chiles in half lengthwise, and add them to the hot fat once the spices are done popping.
- You can customise this to your liking. If you don't have black mustard seed, use yellow. If you don't have urad daal, go ahead and use the nuts for that crunch. If you enjoy sesame seeds, go ahead and add them. It won't hurt anything.
- If you want more fragrant spices (cinnamon, clove, nutmeg, cardamom), feel free to use them, but please bear in mind: this is not a pilaf. This is meant to be rice, with whole spices, and pieces. It's served to everyone, so that if people dislike a certain thing (chiles, curry leaves, specific spices), they can fish out the bits they dislike, and eat the bits they do like. If the spices were to be ground (with the exception of asafoetida and turmeric), you'll end up with something that's too uniform tasting. That's not what this is about.

Your challenge.

Make a meal out of kalantha saadam. Use an existing recipe, or make up your own. I'm going to be very generous with the requirements for the meal, with these rules:

1. No meat, eggs, or fish. This is Indian vegetarian. You may use dairy, but avoid doing so for the kalanatha saadam, because that's not the place for it. If you want to serve the stuff with some yoghurt raita (cucumbers, carrots, tomatoes, onions, green chiles, yoghurt), go ahead. If you're going to make daal as a side, and use ghee for tempering, that's fine. However, your sides aren't what will win the contest. This is all about the rice, and the stuff you put on it.

2. Try to stay true to the South Indian roots as much as you can. Feel free to improvise with ingredients you can find locally. My mum used to make this kalantha saadam with steamed pureed collard greens that was excellent. My sister-in-law loves the sort with cilantro. My brother likes his wife's mango version (it's grated green mango, not sweet mango, with the same spices as lemon rice). Back in India, they'd have more of a variety of things to use, but here, they use what they can find. My mum and I buy frozen grated coconut, because we can't be fussed to sit around and make all that effort every time we need coconut. I use the desiccated when I'm in a pinch, because it keeps forever, and make excellent coconut rice. Don't be tied down by strict ingredient requirements.

3. Kalantha saadam is and will frequently be eaten as a meal in itself. Like I said, peasant food. People are poor, and want their expensive, flavourful ingredients to stretch as much as possible. What better way than to get that perfect, warm, sun-ripened tomato, and make it into tomato rice, so that the whole family can taste it?

4. Sesame oil will make the food taste so much better, when used as a finishing oil at the end. A few shakes of the stuff will launch the dish into the sky. Soooo good.

5. You may use grains other than rice, if you wish. This will make it more interesting. If you can manage to make brown rice taste good with the mixed rice recipes, more power to you!

First prize (and only prize, really) will be curry leaves from my garden, sent to your home. If you don't like curry leaves, or live overseas, or something, I can also send you a $20 gift card. However, if you are overseas, and want the curry leaves, I can dry them and send them, and they'll be fine.

Some pictures I stole from the Internet:


Carrot kalantha saadam. See? This is what I meant by using whatever you have on hand. It can be so much fun to experiment.


The undisputed QUEEN of kalantha saadam, Puliyogare, or tamarind rice. This one is a huge effort to make, because it involves so many freaking steps. You roast a bunch of spices and daals, and powder them. You fry the nuts. You soak and squeeze the tamarind, saving only the thickest pressing for the rice, and the thinner ones for rasam or sambhar. In fact, many women will just buy the tamarind rice premixed, because it's such a huge job to make. However, once you make the puli kaachal (tamarind sauce), it keeps for a good long time.


One of the simplest kalantha saadam: lemon rice. It's a huge hit with everyone.

If you're not sure about something, please ask me. I have PMs. If you want to email me, do so: altveg@me.com and I'll answer. Emails come to my phone, so I'm really good about getting back to you. PMs send me an email reminder, so I'll get back to you quickly here too.

dino. fucked around with this message at 15:08 on Apr 12, 2014

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Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

:dong: those curry leaves are as good as mine, yo.

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

I have several bags of basmati in my cupboard at all times. Let's do this.

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.
After having to sit out the fish one because I'm vegan, I'm glad to have a chance to participate again. Plus I eat rice every day so I'm clearly a big fan of the theme!

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Awesome, you guys. :D I can't wait to see what y'all come up with. Tycho: you might try stretching your wings and giving quinoa a shot. It works extremely well in kalantha saadam applications. I've made both coconut and lemon rice with it with no problems. That said, the tamarind or tomato rice really does need rice.

Thanks to whomever fixed the tag and the title. :)

dino. fucked around with this message at 14:15 on Apr 13, 2014

Marta Velasquez
Mar 9, 2013

Good thing I was feeling suicidal this morning...
Fallen Rib
I always have a bunch of rice on hand, but I've never tried making it into a dinner in itself. This should be interesting.

Dino, not to be pedantic, but did you mean 9:00 PM EDT?

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Ugh that's right. We're in edt now aren't we? I hate that poo poo so much.

DentArthurDent
Aug 3, 2010

Diddums
Thanks for helping to keep ICSA alive. There were a few months with no new contests, and I was starting to think it had died. Glad to see we have had several in a row now.

Personally (and this is not a dig at Dino) I prefer ICSA's with a more general theme. Broad topics like "curry" or "rice" or, sticking with dino's suggestion, "peasant food", allows the entrant to be creative. Kalantha Saadam, which I had never heard of before, sounds interesting, and I'm sure there will be some great submissions. But reading the competition rules, with some very specific restrictions as to cuisine, ingredients, and methodology, it seems more like I`m reading a recipe for a specific dish, rather than an open challenge. Part of the fun of ICSA is taking some vague concept and coming up with an interesting twist on it.

Of course, maybe it`s good to have an ICSA that is a little more specific and more challenging... I look forward to seeing what people come up with!

paraquat
Nov 25, 2006

Burp
I love learning about dishes I never even heard of,
will be fun to see what people come up with (and I do need to make that Lemon Rice soon)

Here's my entry...I know it's quick, but I didn't want to wait until it was all cold..
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3625314

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.

DentArthurDent posted:

Thanks for helping to keep ICSA alive. There were a few months with no new contests, and I was starting to think it had died. Glad to see we have had several in a row now.

Personally (and this is not a dig at Dino) I prefer ICSA's with a more general theme. Broad topics like "curry" or "rice" or, sticking with dino's suggestion, "peasant food", allows the entrant to be creative. Kalantha Saadam, which I had never heard of before, sounds interesting, and I'm sure there will be some great submissions. But reading the competition rules, with some very specific restrictions as to cuisine, ingredients, and methodology, it seems more like I`m reading a recipe for a specific dish, rather than an open challenge. Part of the fun of ICSA is taking some vague concept and coming up with an interesting twist on it.

Of course, maybe it`s good to have an ICSA that is a little more specific and more challenging... I look forward to seeing what people come up with!

Take the drat thing and customise it, dude. There's guidelines based on what I would consider it to be. But, look at paraquat's entry. There's none of the spices that I'd use in mine. That's fine. Use a grain. Use a spice or two. Use another thing that you grind up finely to toss through with. There are times when you're REALLY poor, and lemon rice is basically mustard seed, turmeric, and lemon juice, with rice. Or cumin, turmeric, and lemon juice. Or, greens, ground up in a blender, sauteed with onions and garlic, and then tossed through.

You know what else would count? Furikake. It's the same concept: take rice, toss with nori and other spices, and then eat it. You know what else would technically count? Tabbouleh. It's a grain, with really finely chopped veggies. Again, if you feel like there's a thing that wouldn't quite count, just ask. I'll more than likely let it ride, because you're taking my (rather strict) guidelines, and using your own imagination.

There's this saffron rice that I'd make when I was at my friend's house. It was rice, with saffron steeped in water, tossed together with a bit of salt. That would count. You know those packets of yellow rice you find in the store? That counts. You know that "spanish rice" they make, with tomatoes, peppers, onions, garlic, turmeric, and rice? That counts.

The whole point of the rules is so that you challenge yourself to try something different, and see how pretty drat near the rest of the planet eats. When I was in Chennai back in 1992, there were families who would make a meal out of steamed rice and lemon pickle. Why? Because they're poor, and can't afford fancy spices, or fresh produce. The pickled lemon (which has a bunch of chiles and spices) would give flavour to the rice, so that you're not just eating plain rice. That would count as well.

I have faith in you all to stretch the boundaries of what I've provided as guidelines.

And if you really want to try out a stir-fry? Chop the veggies micro-small, and see what happens. It'd most likely count. The point is that it's meant to be a dish that's mainly grain, with a bit of flavouring, to bulk out your meal.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


I'm really disappointed by this ICSA theme. You say there'll be plenty of scope for creativity, but at the end of the competition, every entry will be a plate of "grains and stuff". Unlike your Battle Vegan, which gave an amazing insight into how much brilliant food you could make without using animal ingredients, this one is really constrained. It would've been a great NICSA, but I really feel like it's too limiting for regular ICSA. If this had been Battle: Rice, I'd be really looking forward to seeing what people made using the theme as a platform to deliver some cool food, and how they used the theme ingredient in a creative and varied way, but I just can't get excited about one dish of "Fluffy, separate rice, with some kind of addition"...

Obviously, it's your prerogative to decide what your theme is, and I'm sure lots of people will like it and disagree with me!

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

Seems like it's implied that you can make a whole meal with a few side dishes out of it as long as the mixed rice takes center stage. Or not and just do some really good mixed rice!

I mean I'm gonna be honest, it did seem a little "that's all?" for an ICSA compared to earlier ones, but I don't mind, and given that furikake and tabbouleh also count, it's a more expansive theme than it appears at first.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.

Scientastic posted:

I'm really disappointed by this ICSA theme. You say there'll be plenty of scope for creativity, but at the end of the competition, every entry will be a plate of "grains and stuff". Unlike your Battle Vegan, which gave an amazing insight into how much brilliant food you could make without using animal ingredients, this one is really constrained. It would've been a great NICSA, but I really feel like it's too limiting for regular ICSA. If this had been Battle: Rice, I'd be really looking forward to seeing what people made using the theme as a platform to deliver some cool food, and how they used the theme ingredient in a creative and varied way, but I just can't get excited about one dish of "Fluffy, separate rice, with some kind of addition"...

Obviously, it's your prerogative to decide what your theme is, and I'm sure lots of people will like it and disagree with me!

Hey! I love you dearly, and you know I do, but go gently caress yourself. Already addressed your points in my previous post. When you're hosting yours, you're welcome to any restrictions you'd like. Yeah, it's a narrow-focused deal, but I'm leaving the theme /wide/ open for interpretation. If you've failed to read my posts, that's on you, not me. For a NICSA, I'd be happy to do something like battle rice, because I'd be working with beginners, you know? I don't expect them to go and take a theme, and tweak to what works. I expect a newbie who's never cooked before, or is just starting to get comfortable in the kitchen to look at a recipe (or series of recipes), and whine that s/he can't do it, because s/he doesn't have ______________ (insert specific ingredient here). For someone who's comfortable in the kitchen, working within parameters, but using what's available is not something unreasonable to expect.

Heck, Paraquat came up with an entry using none of the Indian spices I'd mentioned /at all/, and it's still a lovely entry which I want to make when I get my hands on some nice sage. Seriously, you mean to tell me you've literally never looked at a thing, and went, "Huh. Good concept but I don't like _______, so I'm going to make something in that vein, but with what I like."

My Lovely Horse posted:

Seems like it's implied that you can make a whole meal with a few side dishes out of it as long as the mixed rice takes center stage. Or not and just do some really good mixed rice!

I mean I'm gonna be honest, it did seem a little "that's all?" for an ICSA compared to earlier ones, but I don't mind, and given that furikake and tabbouleh also count, it's a more expansive theme than it appears at first.

Ting! And also, it doesn't even have to be rice if you don't like rice. Rice is like the starting point. People customise it based on what grains they can get their hands on all the time.

dino. fucked around with this message at 09:40 on Apr 16, 2014

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


dino. posted:

Hey! I love you dearly, and you know I do, but go gently caress yourself.

I did think that might be your reaction... I'm sure that the entries will prove me wrong!

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.

Scientastic posted:

I did think that might be your reaction... I'm sure that the entries will prove me wrong!

I'm just teasing. It's mainly because the prize kind of goes with the contest. If I were to do icsa:rice, I'd want to offer saffron as a prize and that isn't growing in my garden.

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.
dino. and I and everyone else who's vegan or vegetarian didn't poo poo up the fish ICSA by complaining about how we were not even able to enter so I don't really think it's anyone's right to come in and complain about how they can't figure out how to make an interesting mixed rice meal because their horizons are so small that they think everything's going to turn out the same. The last ICSA only got two entries too so this one is already almost as successful.

Horrible Smutbeast
Sep 2, 2011

TychoCelchuuu posted:

dino. and I and everyone else who's vegan or vegetarian didn't poo poo up the fish ICSA by complaining about how we were not even able to enter so I don't really think it's anyone's right to come in and complain about how they can't figure out how to make an interesting mixed rice meal because their horizons are so small that they think everything's going to turn out the same. The last ICSA only got two entries too so this one is already almost as successful.

Wroughtirony posted:

What is ICSA?
ICSA (Iron Chef Something Awful) is a series of online cooking contests loosely based on the Iron Chef TV series. In each contest, contestants must design and execute a menu based on whatever theme the chairman has chosen. The winner is picked in a poll that usually pops up a few days after the deadline, and REAL PRIZES usually get shipped out in a week or two. The chairman has nearly unlimited power to decide the rules of their specific event. Most entries are multi-course meals where the theme ingredient is featured in each course.

dino. posted:

Make a meal out of kalantha saadam. Use an existing recipe, or make up your own. I'm going to be very generous with the requirements for the meal, with these rules:

1. No meat, eggs, or fish. , your sides aren't what will win the contest. This is all about the rice, and the stuff you put on it.

2. Try to stay true to the South Indian roots as much as you can.

3. Kalantha saadam is and will frequently be eaten as a meal in itself.

No, I think others are right. No brown rice, no risotto, no fried rice, nope, just make this indian curry rice and that's it. Fish at least has a huge range of things you can do with it (soups, main course, frying, baking, curing etc) but dino.'s basically just asking for people to make a pot of rice with barely any flavourings added to it other than the recipes you could probably find in his cookbook (and only his cookbook). I really want to support dino. on this since he's a really cool dude who posts really helpful stuff in this forum, but this is pretty boring. I really hope there's some good entries to prove me wrong but I don't really see "add something to rice" working out too well for an ICSA.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Hey all. Just sent my computer out for repairs. I still have my iPhone, so I can still reply to messages and whatnot. I'll be peeking in to see if all is well but it's awkward to type. @hs: it's a thing people eat. I left the guidelines loose. If someone tries a thing, and wants to know how to get it to qualify, just ask. Easy to do. Xo

CerealCrunch
Jun 23, 2007
You keep saying the guidelines are loose, but they are not. Now you are getting all defensive because people are calling you out on your poo poo theme.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Lol fair enough. They're too strict. Don't enter if isn't working for you. Would write more but I suck at writing on phone.

Scientastic
Mar 1, 2010

TRULY scientastic.
🔬🍒


dino. posted:

Don't enter if isn't working for you.

This is what we should do.

I feel bad for getting at you, because it is your competition, and the solution is for me not to enter, and see what everyone else's entries are. I hope to be inspired, and shown up for my lack of creativity.

bartolimu
Nov 25, 2002


CerealCrunch posted:

You keep saying the guidelines are loose, but they are not. Now you are getting all defensive because people are calling you out on your poo poo theme.

Hey now. Let's keep it civil in here. The Chairperson has always had broad control over ICSA - including doing weird poo poo like multi-stage contests, contests specifying only cooking method (Battle BBQ for instance), and others. This theme has more specificity of ingredients than some, yes. Think of it as an experiment, and participate or not as you choose.

artichokeyou
Jul 1, 2010
I don't post very often, but I feel like I should come to dino's defense here. I will agree that this ICSA has more restrictions than most, but I do have to disagree with those that say there are limitations as to what can be produced as a final product. Personally, I have been doing a lot of reading and researching on this particular type of dish and plan on making an entry after experimenting with several different options. I am actually considering presenting several dishes in this manner. I know we are asked to make one dish and I don't even want to necessarily be considered for the prize winnings, but want to prove that there is a variety of options available to the contestants willing to participate. As I stated in the beginning of my post, I am more of a lurker than anything so my opinion may not matter as much as those of you who post often, but here is the bottom line of what I think: Do your loving best to interpret this ICSA and make it fit your "standards", whatever those may be, and present a dish that is going to compete with the others that are willing to make an effort. If you don't like it, get the gently caress out. From what I have noticed as being a lurker, everyone has complaints about every single competition but people still manage to come up with amazing entries despite those complaints. I like to think of this particular ICSA as a challenge rather than an obstacle, and I for one am up for the challenge.

artichokeyou
Jul 1, 2010

bartolimu posted:

This theme has more specificity of ingredients than some, yes.

I don't even think that this has a specificity of ingredients, to be honest. It is supposed to be a mostly rice dish with subtle/bold flavorings in small amounts. This can be accomplished in SEVERAL ways. Dino isn't implicating that we must pursue traditional preparations of this dish, as I interpret it, but is suggesting that our dishes consist of mostly rice with other things added in. It doesn't have to be rice either, just some sort of grain. I feel as if this opens up a load of possibilities and those bitching about it aren't willing to commit and try to come up with a unique dish.

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Thanks, Artichoke. <3 Much obliged. You put a smile on my face for the first time this week (and it's been a hell of a week, because school is wrapping up this term).

For the record, if you google "lemon rice", or "tomato rice" or "south indian rice recipes" there's a bunch of different things out there, if you choose to go the route of full on traditional. Otherwise, making up your own thing is cool too. :) Hell, if you want to use noodles and do the same sort of thing, I'm game for that. Sort of like a pasta aglio olio situation (yes, I'd accept that as an entry, because it's in the spirit of the thing).

PTizzle
Oct 1, 2008
I like the theme, just because this forum is usually extremely creative and I think there could be some great entries. Plus lemon/tomato rice is bloody delicious.

Chef De Cuisinart
Oct 31, 2010

Brandy does in fact, in my experience, contribute to Getting Down.
This is a pretty awesome ICSA. I can think of a good 20 totally different tasting rices with different applications. Also, if I can find the time, I will do this one, AND with Arborio rice, and blow your goddamn mind dino.

Allahu Snackbar
Apr 16, 2003

I came all the way from Taipei today, now Bangkok's pissin' rain and I'm goin' blind again.
Oh sweet there's still time to do this! I'll make a trip to the farmers market this weekend and get zazzy

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Sweet. Thanks, guys. :)

dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Made Kale Rice here at Puppy's dorm kitchen, because I don't have access to much in the way of herbs. Whatever. It worked out rather nicely. Essentially, you can use that technique to make the rice with chopped herbs of various kinds. You can even skip the urad daal. I just had some, because I brought my spices. :3

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

I made a thing. It's not a particularly eventful thing, but it was tasty.

goodness
Jan 3, 2012

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?
I tried making the Lemon Rice from the op last night but it turned out pretty bland. The only thing I did not have were curry leaves and nuts, but I doubt that would have made that big an impact.

I did 1/4 the recipe so maybe it just did not work because of that? Idk. I could taste a very subtle flavor of all the spices and lemon, but it was mainly plain, yellow rice.

TychoCelchuuu
Jan 2, 2012

This space for Rent.
Curry leaves make a pretty big difference.

goodness
Jan 3, 2012

When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?

TychoCelchuuu posted:

Curry leaves make a pretty big difference.

I did not think it would that big a deal since it said they were optional and it would have only been 1/2 stalk? But I guess I'll go grab some and try again with half the recipe instead of a quarter.

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dino.
Mar 28, 2010

Yip Yip, bitch.
Thanks for the entries, you two. If you'd both just send me your address, I'll send you both curry leaves from the garden. :) Everyone wins!

Lemon rice isn't one of those that you really want to decrease in quantity with regards to the spices. Make the full batch of spice mix separately, and keep it in your fridge for when you want more lemon rice. When the rice is ready, sprinkle on the spice blend, and toss to combine. Taste, and see if you could use more spice. Add it.

dino. fucked around with this message at 18:29 on May 18, 2014

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