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yeah I eat rear end posted:The Magi guys in The Mummy (the good one, not the one that has dr jekyll/hyde in it for some reason) really weren't very good at their job. When they were camped out at the mummy city thing, it looked like they easily had the numbers to kill everyone or at least hold them prisoner until they could find who had the key. Instead they for some reason gave them a day to get out of there, and of course the idiots opened up everything and let the mummy out. They could have at least said "hey, don't let the mummy out" and "hey don't read any spooky looking books while you're in there" instead of their cryptic "leave here or die". Or here's an idea: over the course of the thousands of years as technology gets more advanced, go get the sarcophagus and put it somewhere more secure so even if someone had the key they couldn't get in.  Not Magi, Medjay, which were a real thing in that they were basically Egyptian desert police who wandered around stopping sand crime.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:16
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yeah I eat rear end posted:The Magi guys in The Mummy (the good one, not the one that has dr jekyll/hyde in it for some reason) really weren't very good at their job. When they were camped out at the mummy city thing, it looked like they easily had the numbers to kill everyone or at least hold them prisoner until they could find who had the key. Instead they for some reason gave them a day to get out of there, and of course the idiots opened up everything and let the mummy out. They could have at least said "hey, don't let the mummy out" and "hey don't read any spooky looking books while you're in there" instead of their cryptic "leave here or die". Or here's an idea: over the course of the thousands of years as technology gets more advanced, go get the sarcophagus and put it somewhere more secure so even if someone had the key they couldn't get in. I mean, most of them did end up dying so it was a legit warning.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:16
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You don't have to tell them all the details, just make poo poo up like there are poison gases in the mummy and that's why you shouldn't open the box. If I hear "don't do this or you die" I feel like I need to know more, like how am I going to die? Being too vague is the cause of most horror movie situations and we need to start being more specific about curses but in a way that people will actually believe. Like the Pet Sematary "sometimes dead is bettah" thing - what does that mean? Sounds like some old man trying to teach me a lesson about life, not a man warning me that me dead relative is going to come back and murder me.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:20
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muscles like this! posted:
you know, I thought "I'm probably spelling this wrong and should probably look it up" while I was posting that, but I was feeling lazy. I hope they don't have a mummy curse about spelling their name wrong.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:21
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Biplane posted:The only less good Mummy is the dragon one. The first two are art. Hell yeah. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6nX0100wUB0&t=100s (1:40 if the link doesn't work) Always post a link to this clip when the Mummy movies are mentioned.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:34
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It may not be aesthetically pleasing, but it's certainly art.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:37
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Tv shows come up in the thread from time to time so  I've been putting Naruto on as background noise and Gaara is 2 edgy 4 me. His entire backstory is just the most grimdark poo poo and I see why edgelords online used him to show how dark they are I wanted goofy fun ninja stuff and this is more like ninja soap opera
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Jun 3, 2021 02:40
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That sand peanut guy was my sticking point on why I didn't like naruto too when my college roommate coerced me into watching it with him. He's just so unintentionally goofy and I can't take it seriously.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:43
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The funniest thing about THE SCORPION KING is how his first appearance doesn't exactly leave things open for the character so to do a spin off they had to make a prequel but then that movie also didn't leave things open so they ended up making another prequel. Then 3, 4 and 5 were sequels to the first movie with 3 being a soft reboot where it is a sequel but he basically starts over after losing his kingdom. So the timeline goes: The Scorpion King 2, The Scorpion King, The Scorpion King 3-4-5, The Mummy Returns. Also between all those movies the character was played by 4 different actors.
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Jun 3, 2021 02:50
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They made 5 Scorpion King movies are you loving with me Edit: gently caress me and a planned reboot starring ol' Dwayne
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Jun 3, 2021 03:21
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muscles like this! posted:THE SCORPION KING ... 3, 4 and 5 I'm sorry, WHAT? Morpheus posted:
WHAT??
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Jun 3, 2021 03:25
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Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:How often do they really have to defend the tomb from interlopers? After thousands of years the Magi are most likely just a social club who drink down at the hall, tell each other the same three stories, and hide from their wives. Like the Masons or something. They're probably insanely underperpared for the Mummy actually coming to life. This was the skit at the end of the MST3k version of Quest of the Delta Knights, in which over the centuries said Delta Knights have distilled their mission to where they basically exist to hold pancake breakfasts.
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Jun 3, 2021 03:34
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It was funny to see Dave Bautista pop up in one of them in as a heavy with no dialogue. Also one had access to a slow motion camera, but it seemed like they could only record for about 2 seconds so the slow motions scenes were always very abrupt.
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Jun 3, 2021 03:41
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The perfect and only use for Bautista.
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Jun 3, 2021 03:46
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Dave Bautista is best used when he gets to wear tiny little glasses.
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Jun 3, 2021 04:09
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yeah I eat rear end posted:That sand peanut guy was my sticking point on why I didn't like naruto too when my college roommate coerced me into watching it with him. He's just so unintentionally goofy and I can't take it seriously. Like One Piece has it's share of melodrama but it also has fun goofy things. Naruto is definitely lacking in the fun goofy department
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Jun 3, 2021 04:14
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Another funny DTV spinoff that ended up being its own franchise was the Statham Death Race remake. After the moderate success of the remake there was Death Race 2, which was a prequel about the "original" Frankenstein who is played by Luke Goss. They bring back some of the minor, cheaper characters from the first movie (so no Joan Allen, Ian McShane or Tyrese) and the movie ends with Goss' Frankenstein horribly scarred in a wreck, thus setting up the first movie. However Death Race 2 turned out to be popular enough that they ended up making a sequel to it and so with Death Race: Inferno. So they had to walk back a lot of the stuff from 2's ending with Inferno opening with doctors fixing most of Frankenstein's scars. Also the producers decided to give his character a happy ending so he escapes from the prison. In order to make this fit with the first movie there's a bizarre bit where the movie's main villains, a private prison executive, is horribly injured and everybody just assumes he's Frankenstein and so he's made to continue competing in the Death Race.
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Jun 3, 2021 04:15
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Android Apocalypse posted:Dave Bautista is best used when he gets to wear tiny little glasses. I'll allow it.
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Jun 3, 2021 04:55
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yeah I eat rear end posted:That sand peanut guy was my sticking point on why I didn't like naruto too when my college roommate coerced me into watching it with him. He's just so unintentionally goofy and I can't take it seriously. I liked him as a mirror for Naruto - he is what Naruto could have become if he wasn't absolutely supernaturally well-adjusted, given the entire village treated Naruto like absolute poo poo for his entire life, even his friends were terrible (if slightly less so). Gaara's backstory was literally the same as Naruto, had a demon sealed inside him, village got spooked and bullied him from a young age. Gaara just let it break him.
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Jun 3, 2021 05:20
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yeah I eat rear end posted:You don't have to tell them all the details, just make poo poo up like there are poison gases in the mummy and that's why you shouldn't open the box. If I hear "don't do this or you die" I feel like I need to know more, like how am I going to die? Being too vague is the cause of most horror movie situations and we need to start being more specific about curses but in a way that people will actually believe. Like the Pet Sematary "sometimes dead is bettah" thing - what does that mean? Sounds like some old man trying to teach me a lesson about life, not a man warning me that me dead relative is going to come back and murder me. As an example, the Field of Thorns (something that would surround the nuclear waste disposal site):  These are examples of what the message should convey - and they sound painfully similar to "here be dragons": quote:This place is a message... and part of a system of messages... pay attention to it! That Italian Guy has a new favorite as of 10:03 on Jun 3, 2021 |
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Jun 3, 2021 10:01
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The form of the danger... we called it Vegnagun...
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Jun 3, 2021 10:26
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Morpheus posted:They made 5 Scorpion King movies are you loving with me
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Jun 3, 2021 10:28
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Each sequel the prince refuses to die. "I was a very sickly child... it wasn't just the heart of a dragon tethering me to this world. I have the pancreas of a unicorn, the spleen of a medusa, the right lung of a scottish pleisiosaur..."
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Jun 3, 2021 10:34
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Len posted:Like One Piece has it's share of melodrama but it also has fun goofy things. Naruto is definitely lacking in the fun goofy department One Piece actually has the main protagonist have superpowers that look like a Tex Avery cartoon in action because the author wanted there to be levity no matter how high the stakes got.
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Jun 3, 2021 10:50
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yeah I eat rear end posted:That sand peanut guy was my sticking point on why I didn't like naruto too when my college roommate coerced me into watching it with him. He's just so unintentionally goofy and I can't take it seriously. If you want something like that but better, I suggest My Hero Academia. It's superheroes instead of ninjas but is genuinely funny and the two angsty characters have a pretty dang good reason for being that way and they are working through it.
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Jun 3, 2021 15:08
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Inzombiac posted:If you want something like that but better, I suggest My Hero Academia. It's superheroes instead of ninjas but is genuinely funny and the two angsty characters have a pretty dang good reason for being that way and they are working through it. Well, Except Bakugo who is getting better but never had an excuse for his superiority complex, he was just a twat who enjoyed using his explosions on defenseless children for no reason. Certainly he was one of those children at the time, but that's no excuse. He was just pissy because Deku was a better person than he was despite not having powers.
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Jun 3, 2021 15:14
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I always figured it was because he leaked nitroglycerin from his palms. Any time the dude is gonna try to crack one out he might blow his dick off. That'd make me cranky too.
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Jun 3, 2021 15:16
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A thing that bugged me about The Mummy Returns was big battle with the Army of Anubis. Not a single Medjai gets hurt by the supernatural world-conquering army. No one is seen taking a hit from them, and no one is acting injured at the end, and before this these movies were not shy about showing minor characters getting hurt.
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Jun 3, 2021 15:50
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Dr Christmas posted:A thing that bugged me about The Mummy Returns was big battle with the Army of Anubis. Not a single Medjai gets hurt by the supernatural world-conquering army. No one is seen taking a hit from them, and no one is acting injured at the end, and before this these movies were not shy about showing minor characters getting hurt. I noticed this too. Actually what happens is they all line up and in the first scrum they are like 3 or 4 people deep. Then when the anubis monsters regenerate and it shows the medjai regrouping into a new line they are only one man deep, implying they suffered a great deal of attrition. But I don't remember any corpses or anything.
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Jun 3, 2021 21:07
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yeah I eat rear end posted:You don't have to tell them all the details, just make poo poo up like there are poison gases in the mummy and that's why you shouldn't open the box. If I hear "don't do this or you die" I feel like I need to know more, like how am I going to die? Being too vague is the cause of most horror movie situations and we need to start being more specific about curses but in a way that people will actually believe. Like the Pet Sematary "sometimes dead is bettah" thing - what does that mean? Sounds like some old man trying to teach me a lesson about life, not a man warning me that me dead relative is going to come back and murder me. The cynic in me says there's no direct, blunt way to warn people that isn't going to make them more curious, stupid, or contrarian. Covid was a big game changer in that regard. Vault full of radioactive waste? Obviously the ancients made that hoax up to scare off grave robbers. All the ominous poo poo like thorns and junk is just telling some future society that something really goddamn interesting is underneath. And even if you get some of them able to connect the dots, they're still going to have to deal with their idiot peers:  "I think the ancients were cursed with evil spirits that consumed their bodies. They locked all the cursed totems down there so future generations wouldn't get consumed by the evil force as well." "Pffff fake news, they hide all the good poo poo in those hard shiny stones, everyone knows that. Besides, my uncle who toils in Grimtendo has this black salve that will cure any ailment. You can go ahead and cower in fear but me and the rest of us are gonna live our life. "
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Jun 3, 2021 21:16
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Panfilo posted:The cynic in me says there's no direct, blunt way to warn people that isn't going to make them more curious, stupid, or contrarian. Covid was a big game changer in that regard. Vault full of radioactive waste? Obviously the ancients made that hoax up to scare off grave robbers. All the ominous poo poo like thorns and junk is just telling some future society that something really goddamn interesting is underneath. Yeah, now I'm convinced in like a thousand years or so when the post-collapse remnants of humanity stumble upon the WIPP they'll read the warning that's it's not a place of honor and then happily open it because obviously, the Lybz (a popular boogeyman of myth) are hiding freedom in there or something.
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Jun 3, 2021 21:26
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Inzombiac posted:My IMM is that the first 10 minutes or so of Wonder Woman 84 was campy, optimistic and cheesy and I loved it. It reminded me a bit of the Reeve's Superman movies. Sorry to resurrect this post but. What's the context for this? I heard about the hosed up war stuff, but not about the canon rape thing. What the gently caress?
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Jun 4, 2021 19:45
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value-brand cereal posted:Sorry to resurrect this post but. What's the context for this? I heard about the hosed up war stuff, but not about the canon rape thing. What the gently caress? It's thinking through the implications of your dead lover coming back to life by taking over a stranger's body who had no say in the matter.
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Jun 4, 2021 19:54
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value-brand cereal posted:Sorry to resurrect this post but. What's the context for this? I heard about the hosed up war stuff, but not about the canon rape thing. What the gently caress? There's this magic stone that grants wishes at a great cost, the villain uses it to get superpowers so she can be like Wonder Woman but turns evil in the process, stuff like that. Wonder Woman uses it to bring Steve back from the dead in exchange for her powers. Instead of creating a new body for him, it jams his soul into the body of the guy who lives in the apartment next to her. They end up loving while Steve is possessing this guy's body and at the end of the movie (after she lets Steve return to death in exchange for her powers back) she meets the guy who was possessed and they flirt a bit, of course he has no knowledge of what happened.
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Jun 4, 2021 19:54
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As I understand it plenty of people have impossible wishes granted, so there’s absolutely no reason to have the guy next door involved at all.
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Jun 4, 2021 20:05
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Thank you both. That's loving horrifying. I thought it was a goofy fun comic book movie from all the trailers for it. Jesus chrit on a bogo stick.
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Jun 4, 2021 20:08
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The movie itself does absolutely nothing to make you think about that one way or another, for what it's worth. Not sure if: 
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Jun 4, 2021 20:21
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I think it’s worse, because if you acknowledge that it’s gross the it becomes the character making a terrible decision. Not even mentioning it implies that the writers themselves don’t see it as such.
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Jun 4, 2021 20:28
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Your Gay Uncle posted:I was annoyed with Army of the Dead because I thought it was a sequel to Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake and I thought maybe they'd go into what happened on that island at the end. I felt like the credits to Dawn of the Dead were pretty clear about what happened on the island at the end. Everybody got eaten. There is no escape from consumerism.
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Jun 4, 2021 21:01
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christmas boots posted:Yeah, now I'm convinced in like a thousand years or so when the post-collapse remnants of humanity stumble upon the WIPP they'll read the warning that's it's not a place of honor and then happily open it because obviously, the Lybz (a popular boogeyman of myth) are hiding freedom in there or something. Or they do believe there's something dangerous there, and they try to dig it up so they can throw it at their enemies.
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Jun 4, 2021 21:12
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