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Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:Those events are? Former Dolphins scout sues Dolphins for firing him, because he worked at home to be with his sick wife.
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May 29, 2014 01:05
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| # ? May 17, 2024 20:14 |
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 This loving team.
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May 29, 2014 01:08
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korrandark posted:Former Dolphins scout sues Dolphins for firing him, because he worked at home to be with his sick wife. And before they got around to firing him they (allegedly) specifically changed their insurance plan to not cover his wife's illness. Like that was the one big thing that changed according to the suit.
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May 29, 2014 01:16
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korrandark posted:Former Dolphins scout sues Dolphins for firing him, because he worked at home to be with his sick wife.  I'll allow it. Millitree, please update the bracket to reflect this.
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May 29, 2014 01:16
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Grittybeard posted:And before they got around to firing him they (allegedly) specifically changed their insurance plan to not cover his wife's illness. Like that was the one big thing that changed according to the suit. I actually think this is worse. I don't know how exactly scouts work, like if working from home fulltime could be a problem, but I know it's fairly common across many industries for some managers to prefer not to let workers work from home. Although the fact he was doing it so he could care for his sick wife means they should have made reasonable accommodations under the ADA. But specifically excluding Cystic Fibrosis medications from their health plan is hosed up poo poo. That's basically telling their one employee whose insurance is covering his sick wife that you hate him. It's even worse because COBRA lets you keep your existing health care plan when you lose your job (by paying the same premiums your employer was paying, so it's not always easy or worthwhile to do COBRA), but by yanking the CF meds from the plan, and then laying him off, they're ensuring he can't even pay out of his own pocket to get his wife's meds covered. That's just evil.
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May 29, 2014 01:26
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Leperflesh posted:I actually think this is worse. I don't know how exactly scouts work, like if working from home fulltime could be a problem, but I know it's fairly common across many industries for some managers to prefer not to let workers work from home. Although the fact he was doing it so he could care for his sick wife means they should have made reasonable accommodations under the ADA. The other thing is that he had been working from home for years and apparently been doing a good enough job that no one had issue with it before. I mean scouting is 99% looking at video tape of players and 1% seeing them/talking to them in person. You could outsource it overseas and be fine as long as you had some people to tell you if the guy is a total shithead or not.
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May 29, 2014 02:04
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Schwack posted:This guy gets it. Let your petty nonsense come before rational thought. That's what it means to be a fan. That seems kinda...douchey
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May 29, 2014 02:12
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swickles posted:In light of new events, can we substitute Miami Dolphins Front Office for Jeff Ireland? Yea, I second this. I'm sorry Dolphin Bros, but this event, the Incognito poo poo, and general Ireland douchebaggery should be lumped together in a single group.
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May 29, 2014 02:14
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Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:
Thy will be done.
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May 29, 2014 02:20
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So what happens to Incognito if they end up going head to head? One certainly cannot exist without the other.
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May 29, 2014 02:32
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Mughe posted:So what happens to Incognito if they end up going head to head? One certainly cannot exist without the other. Front office that allowed it vs the player who did it I guess, would make for interesting conversation if we got there.
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May 29, 2014 02:37
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Febreeze posted:That seems kinda...douchey 12th Man Nation, bitch. 12s up. Toot toot.
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May 29, 2014 02:44
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Schwack posted:12th Man Nation, bitch. 12s up. Toot toot. Keep in mind, motherfuckers. If we win it just means we swept the sport this season. 
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May 29, 2014 03:01
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Manoueverable posted:but Kaep has done pretty much nothing doucheworthy except for being the QB for a division rival and This would be why I'm voting for him.  Stop destroying Green Bay's defense you jerk! Kaep
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May 29, 2014 03:12
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Mughe posted:So what happens to Incognito if they end up going head to head? One certainly cannot exist without the other. Incognito has years and years and years... hell, a whole CAREER's worth of douche-ness to draw upon. I can assure you Richie didn't just become a d-bag the moment he signed with the Dolphins. He existed before and will continue to exist as a douchebag before, during and after the Dolphins. Also, this current round has been hilarious and couldn't have gone any better thus far. Kaepernick is totally and unequivocally a douche-bro but he has the luck of the draw to be going up against a smug rear end rapist. I can't not vote Jameis Winston as the Douche du Jour of this round. 
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May 29, 2014 03:21
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Duke Chin posted:Incognito has years and years and years... hell, a whole CAREER's worth of douche-ness to draw upon. I can assure you Richie didn't just become a d-bag the moment he signed with the Dolphins. He existed before and will continue to exist as a douchebag before, during and after the Dolphins. Linked contestants has happened multiple times. Season 1: Craig and Adam James S3: Gov. Corbett and PSU cover up crew, Petrino and mistress, ND and Te'o's GF
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May 29, 2014 03:51
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Ben Has Tiny Weenus posted:Linked contestants has happened multiple times. Linking Ireland in with The Dolphins I totally get. For some reason I had it in my head that there was a call to link Incognito and The Dolphins together in the same slot - which isn't the case. No  on the play - Game on! 
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May 29, 2014 04:18
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Duke Chin posted:Linking Ireland in with The Dolphins I totally get. For some reason I had it in my head that there was a call to link Incognito and The Dolphins together in the same slot - which isn't the case. No I said the Dolphins should be blamed for the Incognito scandal, you may have misinterpreted that.
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May 29, 2014 04:21
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swickles posted:In light of new events, can we substitute Miami Dolphins Front Office for Jeff Ireland? You son of a bitch
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May 29, 2014 05:17
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Jameis Winston Seriously.
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May 29, 2014 06:01
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Rasczak posted:You son of a bitch This gives your boy a much better chance of making a run at the title.
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May 29, 2014 06:21
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Leperflesh posted:I know it's fairly common across many industries for some managers to prefer not to let workers work from home. Obviously on a case-by-case basis there are some jobs that can't be remoted, and some workers whose records will probably indicate that they are, in fact, lazy fuckups, but hell, this guy was around for 17 years and three GMs, he was obviously taking care of his poo poo on the video analysis end of things. The insurance shuffling is just icing on the douche cake.
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May 29, 2014 07:34
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I hope we get browns FO vs miami FO.
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May 29, 2014 07:34
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effectual posted:I hope we get browns FO vs miami FO. Jesus I would have no idea. Hopefully there would be some awesome effort posts.
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May 29, 2014 07:55
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Elotana posted:Managers who hate people working from home as a rule tend to believe themselves to be Randian Prime Movers who will benefit their subordinates through inspiration and micromanagement, lest those shiftless peons get drunk and watch soaps all day. Yup. I work from home five days a week and I'm grateful that my manager fully supports me. If I got moved to a manager that insisted I come in 5 days a week I'd probably quit. There's absolutely no need for me to waste gas and sit in traffic so I can do my job from a cube. The occasional meeting? Sure. Co-workers in from out of town? Of course, I'll come in, we'll do lunch. Training? Yeah. If I was entry-level, or new to the company, or had poor performance reviews? OK, that's reasonable. But making me come in after 10+ years doing my job well? That's just ego-stroking micro-managing power tripping bullcrap. There's no doubt in my mind that's what happened in Miami. gently caress those guys.
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May 29, 2014 09:26
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I know I got a lot of time but I got to get my TPD write-up all ready
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May 29, 2014 13:55
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effectual posted:I hope we get browns FO vs miami FO. That would be one of the better story lines going into the douche-offs. Browns FO for loving up a franchise vs the Miami FO for loving up people's lives. Yeah, I'm gonna vote for Miami there, because at least we can all laugh at the hilariously bad Browns organization. All I can do for Miamia is ask them what their collective loving problem is. 
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May 29, 2014 17:10
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Kaep plays for a division rival, looks silly and dumb when he kisses his biceps but Jameis Winston got away with rape. Even my irrational sports fandom cannot overcome this.
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May 29, 2014 18:27
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 (2)Jameis Winston has crabwalked his way to victory over (7)Colin Kaepernick 50-13!Jameis has a few words about his victory. Let's go down to Lord Alfred Heyes with the scoop:  Lord Alfred Heyes here with the winner of the Winston / Kapernick matchup in the 2014 Douche of the Year tournament. Jameis just a moment of your time please. WOOOOO!!!! Allie what’s up!?!LAH - Jameis, can you reflect on victory here? JW - WOOOO!!! Simply a more impressive body of work when compared to “The BEAST”. Colin is a great guy, don’t get me wrong, but he’s also too much of a nice guy for this thing. Hell if having a punchable face then my boy Frankie WOOOO!!! the Equipment Guy would win every year. Seriously have you seen that dude’s mug? Totally hittable, my fist aches just thinking about walloping that guy! WOOOO! LAH - So you were just better? JW - The only thing I can add is that once again I have proven that I am the man, and the voters realize that. WOOO!! Let’s keep it rolling BABY!!! WOOOO!!! Thank you Lord Heyes, and thank you to Gerund who was a last minute fill in for the Kaepernick interview. Episode 8: The Second Biggest rear end in a top hat From Jersey Featuring: (1)Greg Schiano vs. (8)The Factory of Sadness Greg Schiano  Febreeze posted:I nominate Sataere posted:With Schiano, the way he just completely took a poo poo on the entire Tampa Bay organization and gave off the impression that they should be thankful for the magnificent dump he was giving them, as if he were doing it the right way and everyone else were the assholes, makes him a worthy candidate for the coveted Douche of the Year award. We now go down to our very own Jon Gruden for an interview. Jon? Gruden: Greg. Why don't we start by talking about your opponents, Mike Lombardi and Joe Banner. Schiano: It's a crying shame, Jon. These guys, they're Schiano guys. They're Schiano men. The way they handled themselves was a credit to the Browns organization and frankly if they hadn't had that dead weight of a head coach we could have seen some real progress from them. Gruden: What exactly did you like about Banner and Lombardi? Schiano: You know, they wanted Chudzinski to cut a starter. Cut a starter! I love it! They were gonna cut their quarterback, their wide receiver, a lineman. I love it. Now see the folks at home and the second guessers in the media don't understand it. Cutting players, Jon. Cutting players feels so good. Gruden: Were there-- Schiano: So. drat Good. You call them into your office, Jon, all polite and friendly like. You sit em down and look into their eyes and you start talking and wait for it to dawn on em. Their adorable little Afro and big brown eyes got no place because dammit they ain't a Schiano man. They're toast. Gruden: The situation with Josh Freeman. Schiano: Josh Freeman, he wasn't playing at the level we expect for Schiano football. There are lots of reasons for that. Did he have health issues? Yes. Did he have substance abuse issues? Yes. Does he have an unpaid parking ticket in Manhattan, Kansas from 2008? Yes. Is his former address 1522 South Saint Patrick Lane, Tampa, Florida? Yes. Is his Social Security number 299-56-5206? Yes. Did he illegally downl-- Gruden: Greg, thank you, we're going to go back to the studio. Schiano: --AND Ghostbusters 2? Yes. Is his VIN 44GH35TL44JN3312-2? Yes. Does he have an American Express-- VS. The Factory of Sadness Mike Lombardi Febreeze posted:FEBREEZE EFFORT DOUCHE POST TIME ”Ben Has Tiny Weenus” posted:None of you who nominated him cared enough to write anything about him, so I wrote this blurb while typing up the match up. Joe Banner  SlipUp posted:Here's a nomination for Joe Banner, who thinks you should cut the best player on your team to send a message. The man behind the curtain for the CHUD saga that enthralled TFF for a season. By all accounts a petty rear end in a top hat on the same level as pioli. SlipUp posted:Joe Banner INTERVIEW!  And now, an interview with Jimmy Haslam, owner of the Cleveland Browns JH: "And CEO of Pilot Flyin' J! Best Truck Stops in Northwest Ohio! Er... yes. That. Interviewer: "Mr. Haslam, thank you so much for being here today." JH: "I tell ya' Chuck, it's great to be here. Great to be comin' up on another exciting season of Browns Football." Interviewer: "Well, we're not quite there yet, Mr. Haslam, and my name isn't Chuck. But we did want to discuss a few matters with you..." JH: "You mean like our new quarterback?" Interviewer: "Yes, sir. Our listeners were wondering if you had any public reaction to Manziel's trip to Las Vegas last - " JH: "Who?" Interviewer: "Sir?" JH: "Manziel? Who the hell's that?" Interviewer: "Johnny Manziel? Johnny Football?" JH: "Name doesn't ring a bell. You sure you're at the right team son? I was talkin' about Conner 'Chuck Norris' Shaw." Interviewer: "The... undrafted free agent?" JH: "drat right! MVP of the Capital One Bowl. We see big things in him. Got him at a steal from the rest of the league, and we're hoping to work him into the rotation real soon." Interviewer: "You're not actually serious." JH: "Well I mean, Mike says we're gonna have to work him up behind Thigpen of course, teach him the ropes, but way I see it, there's nobody better to learn from than a proven veteran like that. He was starting QB of the Chiefs, you know." Interviewer: "He had a 1-10 record with the Chiefs." JH: "Yeah, and? Have YOU ever won a football game as a starting quarterback? Doesn't that make him something like infinity times better than you are? So who are you to judge? Who are ANY of the fans to judge?" Interviewer: "You don't think the fans are going to demand you start Manziel? Especially after the disappointment of last season?" JH: "What are you talking about? Last season was fine." Interviewer: "You went 4-12..." JH: "We've done worse than that before. What's the big deal?" Interviewer: "I think the fanbase believes that it's - " JH: "See, look here. I don't understand why we keep talking about the 'fanbase' all the time. So it's been a while since we've won a Super Bowl - " Interviewer: "You've never won a Super Bowl." JH: "Like I said, a while. But that's no excuse to start whining all the time. After all, nobody HAD to put a team back here after they left in '95." Interviewer: "Well it's not my place to speculate, but I think part of the issue might be that the team is 77-163 since returning and has yet to win a playoff game." JH: "You see, that's what I'm talking about. Everybody in the media wants to fixate on the negative. This team has given Cleveland something to cheer and feel good about no fewer than seventy-seven times in the last fifteen years, and what thanks do any of us get?" Interviewer: "Perhaps we should talk about the front office for a moment. There's been some concern about your hiring former Redskins' Offensive Coordinator Kyle Shanahan." JH: "Concern? By who? Shanahan has two Super Bowl rings!" Interviewer: "That's... Mike Shanahan. Kyle is his son." JH: "So? This stuff is genetic. Look at the Harbaugh boys. Or Archie Manning's kids. Kyle's got a proven pedigree of winning behind him." Interviewer: "Well last year, both he and his father came under fire for the way in which they handled things in Washington." JH: "That was just the media getting all bent out of shape because their darling pretty boy got hurt. Mike and Kyle are the cream of the NFL right now as far as I'm concerned, and if it makes the fans feel any better, I promise that if things don't work out with Pettine, I've got dear old Dad there on an autodial, so that he and his son can bring the same brand of competitive, well-balanced football to Cleveland that they brought to Washington." Interviewer: "I er... I think we might want to leave things there, Mr. Haslam. Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with us, and before we go, is there anything you'd like to share with the fans directly." JH: "That I do, Chuck - " Interviewer: "It's James." JH: "Whatever. Fans, look. I understand, believe me. I know that you all have been through a lot. Modell skipping town, the Paul Brown disaster, Belichick failing to do whatever child sacrifice ritual he used to drag New England back into relevance. But this is a new era. This is not the Browns you're used to. This is a new team, with a new owner, and a new outlook on life. I know you have to live in Cleveland, and that the weather sucks and your jobs are gone, and nobody wants to be here really, but I'm committed to making at least a few Sundays a year that much better for you. So I want you all to come down to FirstEnergy Stadium and cheer on your team. I can't guarantee we'll win it all, but I can guarantee that we'll put on a hell of a show. We've got a hot young quarterback and two of the best receivers in the game, Josh Gordon and Nate Burleson, for him to throw to." Interviewer: "Er... sir? Josh Gordon failed another drug test. He's likely going to be banned for the season. And Burleson broke his arm again." JH: "Huh... really? Well... we'll work something out then. Hey why don't we see if that 'Manziel' guy you were talking about can catch? He looks like he'd make a fair wideout, don't you think?" Interviewer: "Back to you in the studios." JH: *From behind* "Oh, and go see Draft Day!" One on one, Schiano likely takes this easily, but can he win a handicap match against an entire factory of douche? Only one way to find out! 3... 2... 1... DOUCHE! Ben Has Tiny Weenus fucked around with this message at 04:26 on May 30, 2014 |
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May 30, 2014 01:58
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I hate that someone has to lose here.
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May 30, 2014 02:00
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I am voting The Factory of Sadness because I want to see the face down the Dolphins front office in the Admin bracket finals.
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May 30, 2014 02:01
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Lombardi and Banner are solid Schiano Men, but do they match up to the original Schiano Man? I think not. Greg Schiano
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May 30, 2014 02:08
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Hahaha you quoted me for both schiano and the factory. What do I say now? All 3 have supreme punchable faces. All 3 helped run their franchises into the dirt in record time. All 3 are dumbasses bad at their jobs. But there is only one Greg Schiano. Lombardi and Banner needed each other to fully complete the cycle of suck. Without the other, they fall. They are middle class douche at best alone. But Greg Schiano is in douche the penthouse overlooking douche beach. He needed no one else. He was a true bootstraps douche. He ruined a players career and blackmailed him just because he didn't like the guy. He didn't cut him, her blacklisted him. Freeman may never be good again but Schiano is part of the reason why. The MRSA thing is just bad. How can you be such a control freak that the locker room got infected with one of the worst infections possible. Then actively hosed over Lawrence Tynes on his treatment. gently caress the ball swarm thing. Classless. Coined the term Schiano man. Enough said. I want to remind people that while he was at Rutgers, he coached Ray Rice. The very same Ray Rice that might win this tournament. gently caress Greg Schiano.
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May 30, 2014 03:16
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gently caress Greg Schiano for making Rutgers relevant
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May 30, 2014 03:27
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Yeah I'm completely convinced. Greg Schiano is a gigantic douche.
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May 30, 2014 03:29
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Hey remember the time Greg Schiano stopped letting Dexter Jackson bring kids to practice?
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May 30, 2014 03:34
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Greg Schiano, though putting him against the Factory of Sadness made it a tough pick.
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May 30, 2014 04:09
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Greg Schiano is a big scumbag. I wanna see the 12th man kick his butt!!!!
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May 30, 2014 04:34
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The factory makes me sad to say that I must quarantine myself from Schiano. Cleavland was mostly just inept, Schiano was a true douchebag through-and-through, burning bridges even before he was on his way out.
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May 30, 2014 05:30
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I don't have a huge rear end effort post for these two (3) other than, yeah, Greg Schiano is the exact sort of Schiano Man™ I'm looking for to win this Schiano round.
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May 30, 2014 05:38
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