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I've been unconcerned with Star Citizen for a while now due to an ongoing illness in my family. I finally have some time to get the GGGGs back up and running, so let's try this again... Ladies, gentlemen, porpoises, Bank of Bursk (a subsidiary of BurskCo. BurskCo - For a brighter, less spoor-filled future), in association with AndersBot Productions, is proud to announce... *dum dum duuuuuuuuum* the Great Galactic Goon Giveaway III Mk. II: Been Away Too Long *sad beep boop*. A reminder that the whole point of these giveaways is to get more people playing, so if you know any Goons/Goon friends/Goon partners/spoors who don't already have the game and would be likely to enjoy it, you can either enter on their behalf or get them to enter themselves. People who joined SA on or after 1st October 2013 are unable to enter themselves, sorry, but can still have an 'established' Goon enter for them. Entries must be by PM, are limited to one PM per Goon, and one Goon/Goon friend/Goon partner/spoor per PM. Do not post your entries in the thread! There are two categories, and everyone is allowed to enter both, but can only win one prize. Remember, entries are limited to one PM per Goon, so if you want to enter both categories (which you should!), wait until you have both entries ready before sending the PM. After you've finished your entries, please upload the pictures (where applicable) somewhere and include links to them in the PM. Also, if you're entering on behalf of someone else, please give details of their name (if it's a Goon) and your relationship to them (e.g. 'It's my spoor bro'). So what are our two categories? Well, first up we have... Best AndersBot Impression! In the style of said bot, you can either write something about The AndersBot (e.g. you could describe what you think he looks like or what he likes to do on his days off), or comment on something Star Citizen-related in the style of/from the perspective of The AndersBot. The special guest judge for this category is... The AndersBot himself! Oh, I forgot to say, your entry must be in the form of a haiku ^^ Our second category is... The Next Great Starshit! We've all seen some of the amazing work that was done for The Next Great Starship competition, and now it's time to see what you can do. Buuuuuuuuut with a twist! Think of this as being pretty much the complete opposite of the RSI one. I want to see some truly awful ideas here. Best worst design will win! Similar to how it's laid out on the RSI ship specs page, please include the following: Model Manufacturer Role Description Weapon/missile names Engine(s) name Shield name Any additional equipment or unique features that makes the craft 'special' (I'll leave it up to you as to how to interpret 'special') Be sure to also include some illustrations. You have some leeway as to how many illustrations you include, but 2 or 3 is probably about right. You may draw however you please (i.e. use whatever method/software/art package you prefer) and there's no set list of things you need to include or show (e.g. you can show side view, top view, 'action' view, close-up of the weapons, engine, whatever). Be as imaginative and creative as you like; just remember to make it terrible (but in a good way!). There are several prizes on offer for each category, so be sure to submit both a haiku and a terrible ship design to double your chances of winning something. Even my mam can use MS Paint, so no excuses! Since the prizes will go to people who haven't backed yet, I suggest that the winners tell them, once they've created their RSI accounts, to buy a $5 skin so that they're then classed as backers, and will receive any stretch goal rewards from that point onwards. The contest will end at midnight UK time on 17th Dec (i.e. 17th Dec is the last day to submit your entries). I'd also like to make it clear that although the entries don't have to be 'clean', anyone submitting anything particularly offensive will be disqualified from both this and all future giveaways. I'll also tell everyone what a terrible person you are. At the risk of sounding like an rear end, the final decision on what is and is not an appropriate and suitable entry lies with me. I would like to thank the following people for donating to these giveaways (in no particular order): Various Goons who wished to remain anonymous Sorla Mustache Ride J4Gently The Meat Dimension Goredema funkydue mightygerm Bootcha EdEddnEddy Megabound A Casual Guy I would also like to thank everyone who tipped me after I did their LTI laundering (tips got turned into prizes for these giveaways), as well as those that suggested contest ideas. Thanks also go out to Binkenstein and The AndersBot for their contributions. If anyone else wishes to donate something to a fourth and final GGGG, please send me a PM or an email the_bursk at hotmail.com If I've missed anything out, or something is not clear, please let me know ASAP and I'll do my best to clarify and update this post. Thank you, and have fun. Bank of Bursk - Sorry about the wait 
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Dec 2, 2014 01:25
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Thanks for the kind words and welcome backs  Oh, but why are people posting their entries in the thread?  As Rastor pointed out:Bursk posted:Entries must be by PM, are limited to one PM per Goon, and one Goon/Goon friend/Goon partner/spoor per PM. Do not post your entries in the thread! I made sure it was in bold! It's like, how much more bold could this be? And the answer is none. None more bold. What will I have to reveal on the 18th if all the entries have been posted already? Just a bunch of stuff everyone's already seen. That what you want, huh? No PM/posting in the thread = not a valid entry 
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Dec 2, 2014 18:05
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Bursk posted:Don't forget to enter the latest GGGG! Also, which is considered less poop these days, the Freelancer or the Cutlass? Oh, and what about their variants? Anything non-poop to be had there?
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Dec 7, 2014 19:57
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Will I eventually be able to CCU the Cutlass from a Digital Pirate LTI pack to a Retaliator or something and still keep the contents of the Digital Pirate? I'm mainly concerned about keeping a copy of the game and transferring LTI to the Retaliator. GGGG III stuff will be posted tomorrow for you all to vote on (won't take long - not many entries ).
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Dec 18, 2014 20:19
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Thanks, both
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Dec 18, 2014 20:35
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RescueFreak posted:Bursk, can we add a new category to the GGGG? Only crappy fan fiction remains, sorry. Here's the first The Next Great Starshit entry for the Great Galactic Goon Giveaway III Mk. II: Been Away Too Long *sad beep boop*: Vergin Galactic Systems Kaer'Bai'r - Ancient Xi'an word meaning 'I play to relax' Simple cockpit design: 3 buttons Mine/Grind Level 1 Missions/Inflate Ego - Fires mining lasers into rocks. In order to make this as simple and streamlined as possible, we've built this button with a special mechanical toggle. Complain/Cry/Send IRL death threats - Should you ever be wronged in the 'verse, this button will post [concern] threads on the forums, whine in local communications and threaten your foes with OOG death and disease. Quit The Game - This equipment is not yet installed. However the button has been installed ready for when the time comes. Currently this button complements the Complain button and makes threats to CIG about losing another customer. Proprietary MountainChorieetos™ Dispenser - This device carries a carefully concocted paste containing all the essential gaming nutrients. At the click of a button, you can recieve everything you need to achieve what you want to achieve, directly into your gaping maw. Waifu Picture Holder - Carry a picture of your space waifu here, to remind you that you're doing it for her/him/xim/xer  External Features: Hull design by Tacticool Inc - The Kaer'Bai'r's external hull has been designed to look good, no matter what you're doing. With added lights, fins, laser sighting modules, a range of digital camouflage and sticky-outy bits that do nothing, your ship will look the part. 12x Class 9 Mining Beams - Decimate all and every space rock in your domain with these beauties. Your opponents (the asteroids) will shudder in fear at the mere mention of your name. Semi-automatic Harassment Artillery - Have you been shot at in a spaceships-shooting-spaceships game? Fear not! The SHART will let you make those complaint threads and player petitions as fast as possible! Conspicuously Empty Mining Permit Holder - Who needs to pay respect to the local authorities when you can mine in peace and relax? Not you, thats who. Direct-To-Rock Jump Drive - The Kaer'Bai'r is unique in the 'verse, in that it has no thrusters of any kind. Instead, we have installed a specially engineered jump-drive, which will plant you firmly in the most effective position to mine/rat efficiently! PayperThen Shield Plant - Given your important role in the economy, providing the minerals that your mouth-breathing combat peers need to build their ships, we have fitted the minimum possible shield generator. Since who would attack such a pivotal member of society?
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Dec 19, 2014 23:38
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Second The Next Great Starshit entry: Manufacturer: Kackerlacka Inc. (Cockroach Inc.) Model: Den Flygande Trä Lekstuga (The Flying Wooden Playhouse) Role: Flatpack Superiority  Description: Showcase minimalistic modular Scandinavian design and functionality throughout the verse. With its striking tunnel and groove exterior for protection against space radiation, solar winds and light snow*1. Engine name: Galactic Rowmaster Mk. III Oars (Yellow/Blue) with optional bolt-on Space Husky Turbo Pack. Engine max power: Keep adding Space Huskies and Oars until desired velocity is reached*2. Max crew: Comes fully crewed as standard, NPC’s can be folded up for convenient storage to make room for actual friends. Cargo: Additional sheds modules can be added as required – there is no maximum limit. Shield name: Volvo Won't-STOP shield. Shield type: Standard pine tunnel and groove, can be upgraded to silver birch LTI + Ronseal. Weapons Primary: State of the art realistic cannon stencils adorn the stylish wood panel exterior. These are manned by partially animated cardboard ABBA cutouts in a variety of 70’s party attire which should frighten off even the fiercest Vanduul raiders. Weapons Secondary: Should enemy raiders come within melee range, hatches are raised and throwing axes can be deployed*3. Weapons other: Meatball dispenser can be detached from wall mount and become an effective hand-held anti-border repellent. Upgrade space: Designed to be highly modular - examples of add-ons include Sauna Unit, Luxury Smorgasbord dining hall, Space Husky Turbo module and Bjorn Borg Observation/Disco unit (featured in promo). The Borg Disco unit comes complete with ex-professional tennis player and underwear designer Bjorn Borg circa 1977. Also includes complimentary ABBA crew pack which upgrades the cardboard NPC’s to actual 70’s super group ABBA, who will provide catchy 70’s disco classics and traditional Swedish folksongs. Base model includes: 'Beware Moose' sign, Swedish flag, and Viking Longboat figurehead. Additional Notes: Here at Kackerlacka Inc. we pride ourselves on our high level of Swedish health and safety standards*4. As a time-limited bonus we will include a jar of pickled herrings, a litre bottle of Absolute Vodka as well as a pair of signed Bjorn Borg racing pants. Small Print: 1*Upgrades necessary if survival is deemed essential. 2*Oars and Huskies will not affect actual velocity in space. 3*Opening any external hatches will result in immediate decompression of the entire hull. 4*Actual space travel is not recommended in any of our products as injury, mutilation and death may ensue.
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Dec 19, 2014 23:41
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Third The Next Great Starshit entry: Model: Electra Manufacturer: Buick Role: Space Superiority Fighter Description: A 1969 Buick Electra Weapon/missile names: Twin laser cannons. Cluster Missile Launchers Engine(s) name: Wildcat V8 Shield name: Mirrormatic Special Features: Looks incredibly cool 
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Dec 19, 2014 23:45
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Final The Next Great Starshit entry: Model: Bear Manufacturer: Anvil Role: Territory Control Description: A terrifying force of nature sent on long range missions to gather honey and other rare minerals from inhospitable locales, this ship is outfitted with a rugged, coarse exterior and an engine that can use almost anything as fuel. Once it has hunkered down in a defensive position, it is capable of fending off interlopers with frightening ease. Weapon/missile names: The Klaus & Werner Hammer is sure to put holes in almost anything, and anything it fails to puncture will get dented like nothing else. Engine(s) name: Paddington Mk. I engine for long range missions has low fuel consumption but is capable of "storing energy" for the winter. Shield name: The Bear forgoes typical shield tech by employing a regenerating nanomesh of bristling fur. It uses the same graphic only it ripples brown instead of blue when shot.
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Dec 19, 2014 23:47
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As far as voting is concerned, I'd like everyone to simply list their three favourite ships (using the model name) in order of preference, like so: 1. Blah blah 2. Fiddle-dee-dee 3. I like pie Please make sure it's in bold so that I can see the votes at a glance. You're allowed to vote for your own entry. I'll leave voting open for around 4-5 days. Below are the entries for the haiku category. Do not vote for any of these! (The AndersBot will do the judging) Esteemed Space Lawyer Farting rhetoric at spergs Robotically Yours The turbulent brown sea Engulfing effluent flows A single WD40 tear Welcome to Dental Please wait for service. Hold please. Your hold time, <error> In pubbies reus Quod erat demonstratum Juris machina I hope you all liked the GGGG III Mk. II.
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Dec 19, 2014 23:48
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Bursk posted:GGGG III Mk. II entries begin here Why has hardly anyone voted?
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Dec 20, 2014 22:14
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warcrimes posted:I think you've been gone too long, Bursk, mostly J4Gs post here now. You should post a daily reminder with a link. Yes, good idea. The last day of voting will be the 23rd. We had over 100 people vote for GGGG II, so I hope we can at least get into double figures for this one! 
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Dec 21, 2014 00:52
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Capntastic posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXJZbPI5nKE Everyone's allowed to vote! Vote, fuckers, vote!
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Dec 21, 2014 19:35
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Bursk posted:Vote, fuckers, vote! Contest entries begin here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?goto=post&postid=439195815#post439195815
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Dec 22, 2014 20:08
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Hey, you! Yeah, you! Do you like bears (care or otherwise)? Seeing Swedish space huskies doin' it? Might you be a simple person who appreciates the simplicity of a zero effort, completely unedited photo of a car? Whatever your thing, be sure to vote for The Next Great Starshit winner! Contest entries begin here, and continue on the next page, where you'll also find instructions on how to vote: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3639730&pagenumber=387&perpage=40#post439195815 Today is the last day of voting! 
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Dec 23, 2014 19:25
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:Gamma -> Delta is $10, so I suspect the Omega -> Delta would be closer to $5. So $23 if you get a code from Reddit. Can someone please explain this to me? Been out of the loop for a while. Would this be a good way of getting a second copy of the game/character slot/decent ship? If so, what do I need to do, exactly?
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Dec 24, 2014 00:47
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Thanks. I've not used reddit before. Any particular traders I should use? Just the Omega pack would be fine.
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Dec 24, 2014 00:59
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Thanks, will look into it tomorrow
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Dec 24, 2014 01:36
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Thanks for all the Omega pack info and suggestions. I'll get to sorting that out in a day or so. GGGG III winners and prizes will be announced soon!
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Dec 25, 2014 18:16
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Here are the winners of the Great Galactic Goon Giveaway III Mk. II: Been Away Too Long *sad beep boop*: The Next Great Starshit First Place: Kaer'Bai'r Second Place: Electra Third Place: Bear Honourable Mention: Den Flygande Trä Lekstuga Best AndersBot Impression (judge's comments included) First Place: Esteemed Space Lawyer Farting rhetoric at spergs Robotically Yours 'This captures the subtle - or not so subtle - mocking of pubbies through the use of language. Breathtaking.' Second Place: In pubbies reus Quod erat demonstratum Juris machina 'Again, capturing the essence of The AndersBot, and what it is to be posting in a sea full of gibbering idiots. I particularly like the idea of a "Juris Machina". Full marks.' Third Place: The turbulent brown sea Engulfing effluent flows A single WD40 tear 'Unfortunately, the author had to break the syllable count to get their thoughts across in the last stanza. Still, a very good haiku, and moreover the syllable count is a guideline, not a slavish doctrinal thing. Captures the pain of a rational robot in a terrible forum. Exquisite.' Honourable Mention: Welcome to Dental Please wait for service. Hold please. Your hold time, <error> 'The monotony of a customer support line, distilled into 17 syllables. While I never got the opportunity to start slipping in syntax or reference errors into my correspondence, this haiku definitely shows how funny that might be in the future. Very well done.' Chiwie wins a Digital Bounty Hunter LTI + 325a Upgrade Capntastic wins a Digital Bounty Hunter LTI jynxed and Warcabbit both win a Next Generation Aurora LTI Yay, awesome prizes I will contact winners soon Cheers, Bank of Bursk My thanks once again to all the people involved in these giveaways in some way (please see my original GGGG III Mk. II announcement for specifics: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3639730&pagenumber=349&perpage=40#post438390480). Stay tuned for details of the fourth and final Great Galactic Goon Giveaway! Bank of Bursk - Better at arranging giveaways than writing haiku 
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Dec 25, 2014 22:53
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Chiwie posted:Bursk, could you send my prize to zcrow, I was sponsoring his entry. Did you not read the haiku?  I'll be in touch soon to arrange distribution of prizes.
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Dec 25, 2014 23:13
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Informed Consent posted:I can't decide if getting second place for a completely unedited picture is something he should be proud or ashamed of Hah! I completely agree. I'm amazed it did so well. Effort-wise, it reminded me of the entry requirements for the very first GGGG, which were literally 'Send me a PM saying you'd like to enter' (names were then drawn out of a hat to determine the winners). My personal fave TNGS entry was jynxed's Swedish space huskies doin' it in space! , but all were amusing and quite different from one another, which is something I really liked. There were a few other entries that didn't make it (two were entered in last year's aborted GGGG III, and I was unable to contact the artists for resubmission this time around, and another arrived after the deadline) - mayble I'll post them sometime.
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Dec 26, 2014 01:28
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Ladies, gentlemen, porpoises, Bank of Bursk is proud to announce... *jingling of bells* the Great Galactic Goon Giveaway IV: Merry Frakking Christmas!    A reminder that the whole point of these giveaways is to get more people playing, so if you know any Goons/Goon friends/Goon partners/spoors who don't already have the game and would be likely to enjoy it, you can either enter on their behalf or get them to enter themselves. People who joined SA on or after 1st October 2013 are unable to enter themselves, sorry, but can still have an 'established' Goon enter for them. Entries must be by PM, are limited to one PM per Goon, and one Goon/Goon friend/Goon partner/spoor per PM. If you're entering on behalf of someone else, please give details of their name (if it's a Goon) and your relationship to them (e.g. 'It's my spoor bro'). Do not post your entries in the thread! So, what's this particular GGGG all about, hmm? Well, it's time to break out the space quill and space ink because you'll be writing some Terrible Fan Fiction! Some possibilities include: - An in universe 'zine published by space care-bears - A terrible pirate story ('It was a dark and stormy nebula. I woke up next to yet another sexy blue alien and looked out the window - still night...') - News stories from in-game about the local PACT militia loving things up - A bad physics racing drama, with drifting (due to drag), and air brakes - Chartering documents for an in-game guild or clan - Spooky space ghosts - Space toilet analysis - Entries from a diary - A comic book (with suitably terrible artwork, perhaps done in MS Paint) - Selected chapters from a book - Star Citizen origin stories for your characters - Crossovers with other universes Erotic fan fiction is okay, as long as it's tastefully done and not disrespectful to the people involved (e.g. I don't want to find myself reading a story about Chelsea, Sandi, and an 8 inch replica model of the Freelancer). Also, if you do insist on going down this route, make sure it's good terrible erotic fan fiction, not terrible terrible erotic fan fiction. In other words, don't do this: Starbuck [omg I'd totally do her! Starbuck? More like Stargently caress!] opened her legs and waited for the 'UEE Dickzilla' ['It's like being hosed by a Bengal!'] to dock. 'Of course, you know what gets me really wet? I mean, even wetter than a water supply-sabotaging Boomer?' she asked. The man opposite her, the most handsome man in the known 'verse, a man envied by men and desired by wimmin, Kirk 'Ace' Solo [who is me irl], owner and commander of the Dickzilla, allowed a faint smile to appear on his usually-glowering chiselled face on hearing Boomer's name. He'd already been wondering if she should be his next conquest, but there was one thing that was troubling him 'Could what Chief O'Brien said be true?' he thought to himself 'Do Asian wimmin really have sideways vaginas?' Puzzled as to how this might work, his mind turned to another potential target - the hot piece of alien rear end he'd spotted earlier in the evening [Tali! <3] 'Man, she even got a vag, or would I need to stick it in her pooper? That's assuming she even has a pooper!' Determined to soon find the answers to these all-important vagina and pooper-related questions, he focused his attention back on Starbuck. 'Moar spoors.' she said, and let out a sigh 'Moar frakking spoors...'. Suddenly there was a knock on the bathroom door -  , fresh from his sermon at the Church of Christ Roberts, had arrived for the threesome. He grinned at Ace and Starbuck 'Time to roll some gorram buttholes...'There's a 1,500 word limit, but basically, just go nuts, try to be entertaining on some level and don't make it too long (i.e. don't feel you have to pad out your awful writing just so you hit the word limit). There are several prizes on offer. Since the prizes will go to people who haven't backed yet, I suggest that the winners tell them, once they've created their RSI accounts, to buy a $5 skin so that they're then classed as backers, and will receive any stretch goal rewards from that point onwards. The contest will end at midnight UK time on 12th Jan (i.e. 12th Jan is the last day to submit your entries). I'd also like to make it clear that although the entries don't have to be 'clean', obviously, anyone submitting anything particularly offensive will be disqualified. I'll also tell everyone what a terrible person you are. At the risk of sounding like an rear end, the final decision on what is and is not an appropriate and suitable entry lies with me. I would like to thank the following people for donating to these giveaways (in no particular order): Various Goons who wished to remain anonymous Sorla Mustache Ride J4Gently The Meat Dimension Goredema funkydue mightygerm Bootcha EdEddnEddy Megabound A Casual Guy I would also like to thank everyone who tipped me after I did their LTI laundering (tips got turned into prizes for these giveaways), as well as those that suggested contest ideas. Thanks also go out to Binkenstein and The AndersBot for their contributions. If anyone else wishes to donate something to this giveaway, please send me a PM or an email the_bursk at hotmail.com If I've missed anything out, or something is not clear, please let me know ASAP and I'll do my best to clarify and update this post. Thank you, and have fun. Bank of Bursk - [This space left blank because I already used all my good ideas in the erotic fan fiction] Bursk fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Dec 28, 2014 |
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Dec 26, 2014 23:37
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warcrimes posted:Please add Star Citizen origin stories for your characters as one of the story suggestions. Done. Don't forget to enter, people! http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3639730&pagenumber=401&perpage=40#post439434313
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Dec 28, 2014 20:28
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Beer4TheBeerGod posted:To be honest I would just get the Omega code, the Omega->Gamma downgrade for $0, and the $5 Gamma->Avenger upgrade and not apply anything. Maybe spend another $5 for the Avenger -> Delta in case you think that will turn out to be a not-lovely option. But I wouldn't apply any of them until we know more about what will suck and what won't. Beer, any chance you could give me a step-by-step walkthrough for doing this? a) I'm not familiar with the upgrade/downgrade process (not applied any myself) and b) I have a terrible cold and it's really difficult to think straight. I've just messaged Loneshade about the $20 'goon special' so hopefully I'll have an Omega code soon enough. Bursk fucked around with this message at 18:35 on Dec 29, 2014 |
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Dec 29, 2014 18:33
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Jethro_E7 posted:
$20 'goon special' no longer exists (did anyone get one for $20?): 'I'm afraid our original patch sold out: Sadly a planned purchase of 80 pieces failed and what we got left, we paid more than that ourselves. What I can still do though, (Goon-only) is retain the original price of $30 +$1,58 for covering paypal transfer fees if that's ok with you?' Is this still worth bothering with? It's quite the increase on the $20 price quoted just 5 days ago. I was mainly looking at doing it to get a cheap second character slot.
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Dec 29, 2014 19:22
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I had 1 (one) entry for GGGG IV. I think it's fair to say that the giveaways have run their course. This was the last one I was going to do anyway. I'll post the entry tomorrow.
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Jan 13, 2015 22:32
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It's 24 hours over, and I can't let anyone enter now because I had a late entry to GGGG III that wasn't allowed in, so it's not fair to change things despite the poor showing this time around. Sorry.
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Jan 14, 2015 00:33
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I'm not sure what that means, but okay.
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Jan 14, 2015 00:35
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Rap Three Times wins a Digital Freelancer LTI for their entry in the Great Galactic Goon Giveaway IV: Merry Frakking Christmas! My thanks once again to all the people involved in these giveaways in some way (please see my original GGGG IV announcement for specifics: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3639730&pagenumber=401&perpage=40#post439434313) This was the last GGGG. I'm going to ask Megabound to help me sell the remaining prizes to fools on reddit. If he can't help me I'm sure I can find someone else who's able to. The money will be donated to several charities. (Feel free to suggest some, bearing in mind I'm in the UK). The entry is below. ________________________________________________________ How it all ended. She looked out the side window as the manoeuvring thrusters began their pre-flight warm-up. She could feel the hum through the body of the craft, the sensi-gel seat only somewhat absorbing the vibrations. Air rippled around the smooth cones as the air was superheated, adding an ethereal overtone to her excited mood. These moments before liftoff always gave her goose bumps, made her hairs stand on end and little tingles shoot across her hands as though tiny sparks ran amok in her fists. She looked down at them, checking, noticing the white tightness in her knuckles. Consciously she loosened her muscles. She should relax. Relaxing is important. She ran her hand through her thick blonde hair before putting on her helmet. The suit clicked as it sealed hermetically. The tall woman with Jerry written on her EVA suit stretched out her legs, considering how glad she was that the pilot had had the extra leg room installed for passengers. She didn’t want to be uncomfortable. She relaxed her muscles, limb by limb, starting with her feet and working up to her thighs, then her hands and to her neck and shoulders. The sensi-gel seat moulded itself to her shape, giving her support and comfort. Outside, lights began to flash and Jerry, a moment before she heard it on the helmet comm, saw that they were about to depart. She felt herself tightening again; she hated this bit. She knew it was safe but she still felt the bile rise in her throat. Small beads of sweat formed on her forehead and she felt the suit lower the temperature slightly to compensate. She glanced down at her mobi-glass; they were leaving right on time. Gripping her seat with both hands, eyes closed tightly, she felt the ground fall away and the craft lurch upwards away from the planet’s gravity. She kept her eyes closed for a full 5 minutes until they were away. She could easily feel the change now, zero-G giving her the dislocated feeling after the weight of the planet and the artificial gees of the take-off. She felt her head clearing though- she was more familiar with the weightlessness of space than the gravity of large planets. Jerry felt her self-assurance returning. She looked at the pilot and the co-pilot who were both seemingly oblivious to her in the rear seat. They were chatting on their comms, their heads moving from side to side and nodding occasionally. She sat there in silence, watching for a few moments. Then space spun around as they turned the sluggish craft towards the chosen hyper-route in preparation for their journey outwards to the jump-point. The co-pilot turned his head back, then seemed to say something to the pilot. Both helmets shook though Jerry wasn’t sure if it was in laughter or if the pilots were nodding. She heard the pilot’s voice on her comm, asking if she was ok after take-off. What to say? To be honest and to admit that she felt assured in her previous belief that the pilot was a disgusting piece of scum, or to choose the more socially acceptable choice and politely admire the pilot’s skill while trying to hide the fact the she was lying? Jerry decided to make the pilot wait; she counted to ten, then murmured something unintelligible. The co-pilot and pilot exchanged glances, then went back to looking at their instruments. She had paid an exorbitant price for this trip, it wasn’t everyone who felt comfortable carrying live freight, especially live human freight. This cargo was special, though only she knew how special. They had agreed to carry the sealed stasis container, no questions asked, though they were clearly suspicious. Jerry didn’t care. They wouldn’t be alive for long enough to make any difference to her. She looked out the window again. The stars swirled and spun but the fractional adjustments to the ship’s internal fake-G made it seem that they were stationary while it was space the spun around them. Jerry first loosened and then undid her harness. It was starting to get constricting. She had to remember to relax. Rapid breathing would betray her. She slowed her heart-rate consciously, checking her mobi-glass readouts as it dropped to normal levels. Her comms crackled. The pilot. Jerry nodded as she was told that they would soon be entering cruise. At that speed, the stars would be nothing but a blur and the ship itself would out-distance all but the comm signals bouncing around like angry fireflies in the night. The ship came to a complete stop, pointing towards the jump-point coordinates Jerry had provided. Then, with nothing but a rumble to alert them, the engines began again to power up, mimicking the previous terrestrial ascent. Jerry felt her body pushed back into the seat and resisted it pushing herself forward. She timed himself, she didn’t want to move too quickly. Her heart-rate had to be just right, her monitored body signals at the right frequency. Her muscles strained as she pushed herself forwards, against the drag, towards the jump-point, towards the pilot ahead of her. Her arms reached forward, wrapped themselves around the pilot’s chair and the pilot himself. It was easy to grab his helmet and allow herself to be pulled backwards, effortlessly twisting the pilot’s neck to the awkward angle that signified unnaturality. Then, bracing herself once more with her feet, she propelled herself against the pull of the ship. She reached around the pilot’s prone body to where her pistol, her very own heater pistol, was tucked into the dead man’s belt. The pilot had looked smug when he took that from Jerry, part of the contract of trust that he required. Now though,Jerry slipped it out and pointed it towards the co-pilot. The co-pilot was turning when he saw the pistol pointed at him. He moved to draw his own but his movements were clumsy, slowed by his suit’s cocktail of relaxi-drugs, slowed by the harness that held him in, slowed by the pull of the ship that dragged him back. He had barely turned when the bolt struck him in his chest, a look of shock registering on his face before his eyes drifted towards the ceiling to stare at nothing. Jerry watched for a few seconds as the body slid back into position in the co-pilot seat. Then, dragging herself forward, she slowly disengaged the cruise drive. She felt the pull drop off until she could stand again, her muscles aching and her face covered with droplets of moisture despite the attempts at regulating her body. She checked the scanner. They were alone in the sector. The coordinates had lead them to a secluded part of space, far from shipping lanes and interferences. Jerry slipped the gun into her waiting holster and made her way back to the cargo section. It took only a moment to find the crate, large as it was. She keyed a number into the keypad and waited as the retina scan was completed. A door slid open, noiselessly. A hand from inside the crate slowly grasped the edge of the steel box, pulling an older, weathered person out. Jerry looked at herself, himself, her other self. Reaching forward, she pressed the palm of her hand against the old man’s forehead as the other pushed back. A sensation came over her, something akin to the swirling of air behind nacelles in atmospheric environments or the tingle of sparks across skin. The ship seemed to spin and merge with the stars behind, until a moment later, the briefest of seconds, he was standing in a crate- a tall blonde woman touching his forehead with her hand. Jerry brushed away the hand and took the gun from the blonde’s waist holster. He would need to get rid of the blonde but not for a while yet. He ordered it to remove the bodies, stipulating that it should hide them in the stasis crate before it was ejected. Settling into the newly evacuated pilot's seat, Jerry smiled. Somewhere, two very pissed people were waking up in a hospital bed, demanding a search for a very tall, very beautiful blonde. He admired his new ship as he turned it towards lawless space, his dull-eyed alt sitting beside him smiling at the stars as they spun past like so many fireflies. ________________________________________________________
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Jan 19, 2015 22:31
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| # ¿ Apr 26, 2024 15:10 |
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We'll see. Pretty about how this all ended.
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Jan 19, 2015 23:14
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