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ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

I'm sure there is a more useless (but healthy) dwarf than I am.

I'm still pretty useless though, look at those attributes. "Quick to tire" "flimsy" "bad intuition" "clumsy kinesthetic sense." I would make a terrible draftee, and I'm pretty sure quick to tire makes me pretty useless for most anything else. Plus I'm a GLASSMAKER. The SECOND ONE.

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ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

My husband is the gooniest of goons and I was probably drunk when I married him

It's actually kind of funny how he got almost every possible negative related to communicating with others

No empathy, social skills, or linguistic ability is the trifecta of goon

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 07:36 on Sep 7, 2014

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Ghostwoods posted:

Yes, but on the plus side, we both "often feel lustful", I have "an active imagination", and you don't mind "wearing something special sometimes". So that could have been it...

I also note that I have an very odd relationship with spiders.

Spiders that bite: loving awesome

Spiders that jump: oh gently caress no

This seems reasonable to me

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

I want to intentionally make this fortress near unplayable for the third Overseer

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Well that sure is a rough start if I've ever seen one

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

:cry: Ghostwoods! Noooo! :cry:

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

I want to banish several waves of immigrants to live as the elves do

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

I want to see my baby boy

He's all I have left of my precious Ghoostwoods

Man I wonder what the chances are of Ghoostwoods not being the father. I seem to remember that an earlier version had a bug where a migrant would should up with some 10 kids in tow, each with only one parent in common

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

I am awful at this game and haven't played in months

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

If elected Overseer I promise to intentionally flood the fortress

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Not unless literally everyone who wants to be Overseer decides to reuse that same joke, perpetually

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Let me ruin the fortress even more than it already has been

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

So is the idea that I use the latest version of DF, or an older version?

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

I bet if I just ignore everything except what is absolutely necessary/I feel like messing with, everything will turn out just fine

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012


From the personal record of ninjewtsu Emasmel, Overseer
1st of Granite

So after the guy who actually drew the overseer lottery got involved in a tragic accident, I’ve been made back-up overseer. Which is a bit unfortunate, I’ve never really paid attention at all to the fort as a whole.

So I uh. I don’t really understand what is going on here?
Taking a look around now, I’ve noticed a couple of things.

So this is our river. And there seems to be a little offshoot here, and it ends up um.

Right at the top of our central staircase? Why?

There are also these farms over here. A good third of the farming land isn’t used at all for about half the year for some reason? That seems inefficient to me, and the farmers just kinda shrugged at me when I asked about it.
I also notice that we have a big tunnel going straight down, deep into the earth, and a bit further down I find that it um

Leads straight into the open caverns? With only a single cage trap as a deterrence? Seems pretty dangerous to me.

I also notice that our mayor is trapped in a room by himself? That can’t possibly be right. Why would we imprison our own mayor? Stephen Armstrong seems like a decent enough dwarf to me. I unlock the doors.

It takes a little bit of persuading. Apparently this is his “Special Room” and he’s not allowed to leave. I ask him why not, but he didn’t really seem comfortable with telling me. So I just let him know that I’m the overseer now, and I see no reason for him to stay locked up in that room all by himself.

As I tell him this, I notice that there’s a note left on the door, saying not to open it, apparently written by the mayor himself. Which sounds like nonsense to me. Someone is playing a very cruel joke indeed on the poor mayor. He could have starved!

I take a quick glance at our stocks and wow, that’s quite a few numbers, I think I’ll just leave well enough alone there. The previous overseer probably knew what he or she was doing, I’m just going to assume that we are well stocked.

Similarly, this whole crafting floor is a mess and I am not going to touch it unless absolutely necessary. This thing is just a huge splatter of different shops randomly placed and I do not want to have to get familiar with this.

In fact, I don’t think I’m really going to mess with anything the previous overseers had going, unless I really need to. I’ll just let the next overseer figure the rest of this mess out.
Instead, I only have a couple of meager additions to make.

Some walls right here

And some more walls right over here, at the rear end end of our fort, leading to the caverns.

There! We’ve got farmland and plants can be brewed into booze, so we have all we need to live in here. And now I’ve effectively solved our goblin problems! I went to have a chat with tinkerttoy, the captain of the guard, to inform her of the good news. She asked me what would happen to the military now, and I told her, well, nothing. There’s no real need for a military now, so the military is disbanded.

And hoo, boy, let me tell you, she got REAL red in the face when I told her that. Went on and on for a good hour or so about the ~pride of the axe~ and wouldn’t stop asking me “what kind of fortress doesn’t have a military?”

So I banished her. Her and the rest of the military, down into the caverns, before the walls are complete. :byewhore:

I mean it’s not like there’s anything really dangerous down there anyway, right? They’ll figure it out.
Oh, except for you, PhantomZero, honey.

Listen, I know, Ghoostwoods dying was hard on all of us. There’s no need to do anything rash like join the military like your father, you can stay here with us.

Finally, I notice that there are some babies around that were never given names. Which is silly, and quickly rectified.

Here is Phosphine, daughter of Subnat and Le_Squide

As well as The True King of Dwarves, son of Dr. Tough and R0ckFish



EDIT: I forgot! Sorry! Here is the axe!


----------------
First time participating in one of these things at all! As everyone saw in Epee Em's aborted updates, the fortress is kind of a mess, and I'm hoping to mostly leave that intact/add to it with negligence, since when I play DF usually I get pretty obsessed with making things absolutely foolproof, and that'd be a bit of a shame to do here (though of course I could also accidentally set off the fortress flood or something while trying, which would be pretty entertaining).

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 06:26 on Nov 3, 2014

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

CAT rear end now!!! posted:

Ninjewtsu those babies are Phospine and The True King of Dwarves. This is the third time I post about this

Oh poo poo, sorry man. I'll have that fixed before my next update

Xun posted:

You better dwarf me soon! Your dinner is on the line Ninjewtsu!!! :mad:

It better not be mushrooms

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

:(



Update might be delayed

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

I should have one out tomorrow. I was trying to get one out by tonight but things didn't work out.

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

So here is a question. I made a few mistakes before the game crashed. None of them were at all interesting, and mostly just resulted in things taking a couple of ingame weeks longer than they should've. Do I recreate my mistakes, or play perfectly for the first month or so?

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Something horrifying has happened. I can no longer assign labors to dwarves. They immediately unassign.

More technical difficulties!

Many apologies. I'll get an update out tonight, even if it's just putting out what I've got so far.

EDIT: Nevermidn it got fixed. Somehow autolabor got enabled in DFHack? :psyduck:

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 00:19 on Nov 3, 2014

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012



3rd Granite

White Devil is no longer a child!

4th Granite

Stephen is re-elected! I bet not being locked up in a room really helped out his campaign :)

7th Granite
So. Let’s talk about Stephen Armstrong here for a bit.

As the military was marching out to the cavern, I noticed Stephen walking out with them. I stopped him and told him to stop being silly, the mayor can’t be banished! He said he was part of the military, and I told him not anymore, so he was free to stay here in the fort. You know, to do mayor things.

And then he asked me about the security of the fort. Why does no one understand the walls? I explained that with a solid wall of stone between us and the outside, no threats to the fort could possibly make their way inside. He asked me, what if a future overseer tears down the wall, and goblins swarm in while our military is off in the caverns? I told him, well, we don’t need a backup plans, because no sane overseer would ever tear down the wall due to that very threat! And he just shook his head like I wasn’t understanding him, then walked off. I think I heard him say something about taking matters into his own hands?

Now, I like Stephen Armstrong. I think he’s a fine dwarf, and a fine mayor. That’s why I’m willing to let this next part slide. You see, Stephen went and had a little chat with the miners.

Now there’s this weird room here?

And a staircase leading to this room down below? What is Stephen planning with that well water?

A few hours ago I saw him having a chat with a couple of mechanics, and I decide to leave him to his little project out of respect for his leadership. I can’t help but get the feeling that there’s something funny going on here though.

10th Granite

Idles is taken by a mood, and also a child throws a party

Idles goes on to take a metalsmith’s forge and quickly start constructing his artifact

12th Granite
So um. Hm.

You. You are not supposed to be here.

I stormed right up to TinkerToy and demanded to know what she was still doing in the fort. She shrugged and said that after her ordered to stand around at the bottom of the cavern were complete, she and the rest of the military got hungry and just kinda walked back up. The wall wasn’t finished yet so they just sorta came back in.

She was infuriatingly relaxed about defying her banishment. Clearly, a more extreme banishment is needed.

16th Granite

Idles has made an iron battleaxe! Too bad this is totally worthless in a post-military fortress.

9th Slate

So the good mayor’s project is complete. And he um.

He locked himself underneath it.

I don’t understand. If he wanted to be trapped in a room, why didn’t he just lock himself back up where I found him? He could have just told me it’s a thing he does for kicks.

Also, why is there a bunch of retracted spikes in the floor?

Ah, it wasn’t quite complete. It seems that Stephen left instructions to make a hole in the floor after he trapped himself under the project. What could the purpose of this project be?

Oh my god! Stephen! Why?!

Were the walls really that bad of an idea? Did Stephen feel that the only way to express his dissatisfaction was suicide? But why the elaborate project? The dwarf could’ve just jumped down the other well if he wanted to drown himself!

Having completed the brutal murder of Stephen Armstrong, Nuramor locks the door to the project and pulls the lever in the corner and

Oh my god I think I’m going to be sick

This horrific contraption is not only drowning the poor man, but spearing him too?! I haven’t been this terrified since my husband died


Stephen calls out to Nuramor from under the well, giving him some final commands to the project. Nuramor follows the mayor’s orders, deconstructing the well and digging another hole in the ground. And then he rebuilds the well over the new hole?

Could Stephen have made a slight mistake with the well placement that he didn’t realize until just now?

Nuramor stays locked up in the room. Is he also trying to kill himself? There’s no food in there, and the only drink is that newly placed well. Which is directly above

I think I need to go lay down for a bit.

-------------
Sorry for the delays! The game actually crashed again today, as I was literally taking the last screenshot. Luckily I had saved halfway through. Apologies if the update is a bit on the short side

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Stephen is still alive. His wounds screen does not show him as drowning, and he only got speared the one time (technically five times)

What the future holds for him is anyone's guess ;)

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Haerc posted:

Mind posting a detailed description of that axe ninjewtsu?

Ah, right sorry



It currently belongs to Doc.Apple, who is not a member of the military but does have the woodcutting labor enabled.

So, one of the most incredible weapons to grace this earth is not being used for war, but to accomplish the same job a wooden training axe could

Or, I mean That's the job it would be doing. You know, if I hadn't walled in the fort and totally cut off access to any trees.

Dudette's just carrying it around for fun I guess.



I'm not so sure Doc.Apple has ever cut a tree in her entire life

But in theory she could

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

The table represents dinner. The safety to be at peace of mind and have a delicious meal is paramount. This safety can be achieved with a large battleaxe or, better yet, with large stone walls.

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012



15th Slate

Poistra is born

Poistra, son of GreyPwrVan and symuun

19th Slate

Nuramor has refused to leave Stephen’s project. In fact, it seems that he has added to it

Did Stephen start some kind of suicide cult?

Speaking of

Stephen seems to be doing ok? He’s been down in the water for 10 days and he’s just a little tired.

22nd Slate
It is complete!

Pictured: A bunch of oblivious fools, ordered to stand on a bridge

Pictured: A bunch of banished fools, one floor down with no bridge

Just a few bruises all around for them, and like magic they’re outside the fort walls with no way to get back inside!
There’s still a few straggling military dwarves who have yet to be banished. The lazy ones who like to hang back and spend an eternity getting their axes, filling their canteens,

Sleeping. You know the kind.

They’ll be banished soon enough though.

------------------
Lucky for the military, all anyone got during banishment was some bruises. The first time I did this (which was later lost to the game crashing), a couple of military dwarves got limbs pulped. Fat and Useless, in particular, not only managed to have her entire arm pulped into uselessness, but lost hold of her baby, Strevl, who then crawled up the sides of the lower room, which somehow got her on top of the bridge when the lever was pulled again. After this Strevl crawled back into the fortress, totally lacking any parents able to take care of him.
-----------------

26th Slate

I noticed miasma coming from Stephen’s hole

Turns out he’s fine, but the snack he brought with him had gone bad

3rd Felsite

Migrants!

Unfortunately, thanks to the wall, none of them can get inside the fort. Psycho Society I MEAN BUCKET JONES is the first one to reach the fort entrance, where she finds a big stone wall, with a note etched into it

The Great and Mighty Wall, Blessed be it posted:

Hi there fellow Dwarves! Welcome to Fogwall! A little known fact about Fogwall is that we are a fortress composed entirely of talented theatre actors! Not just anyone can join our ranks, only the best, most convincing actors are allowed entrance. To prove your acting ability, you must live above ground, pretending to be Elves. When you have thoroughly convinced us of your acting ability, you will be granted admittance.

Below this note you will find some helpful items to get you started. Keep in mind that goblins find the taste of elf flesh delectable, and could come to strip that delicious meat off your bones any day now. Defend the trees, Elves!

Below the note are a couple of bins filled with wooden training weapons

Psycho Society Bucket Jones spat on the wall immediately after reading the note, and the migrants grab some wooden axes and immediately start chopping some trees down. That’s not very Elfy of them!

14th Felsite
A troll finds its way over to the banished military

This does not end well for the troll

LeSquid is punching the hell out of the troll inside the second barracks, which was built down in the caverns by a previous overseer. The banished dwarves are using it as a place to sleep.

Eventually the rest of the military shows up, and Elswyyr finishes the troll off, then takes a moment to be horrified then not horrified at the prospect of murder.


The banished military has found a nice open area in the cavern and has been rooting through the moss for edibles. They also brought no axes to chop trees with them, or if they did, the axedwarves in question are unwilling to share, and they seem to be bickering among themselves over how they’re going to build any beds or structures

It seems someone in the fort has foreseen this very argument, and provided them with a few spare axes.

I can’t say I approve.


A few other things happened that I didn't quite catch at the time. None of them are particularly noteworthy, but here they are for posterity






Final Stand, Daughter of Drakenel and Pittsburg Lambi


Migrants! Elves!


Psycho Society Bucket Jones


Greader


Grizzwold


Haedrin


Lazermaniac


Manicmole


Membranoid


Oak Throshield


PMJ79


Pol Aron


Rickvoid


Torrance


Viggy Nash


Wently


Chocolate Pancake, daughter of Bucket Jones and Grizzwold


Farseli, son of Bucket Jones and Grizzwold



Gaghskull Gaghlad


Grouchy Fish


Honkmaster


Leykins


Professor Bling


Valiantman


Wraithson



And the Names of the Banished



----------
Not tooooo much happened this time around. Still wanted to get another update out there though. Apologies for missing those announcements, the item cancellation spam means I have to be going through the announcements list periodically to find these things. Please ignore any pictured inconsistencies with regards to names. Migrants will be added to this post later tonight the next day because my keyboard died, along with Drakenel's baby

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 02:57 on Nov 5, 2014

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Spanish Matlock posted:

Eh it's no trouble at all to deconstruct the walls and return the fortress to normal. Which will hopefully happen. As fun as shut-in madness is for a turn, turtle fortress is not exactly thrilling.

That's why the trolldwarf and elfdwarf colonies exist!

In my ideal world future overseers will at least attempt to keep the colonies running. Then once goblins inevitably slaughter the elves, the turtle dwarves will leave their shell to unleash Stephen Armstrong The Invincible Mayor and his Merry Band of Mighty Bureaucrats upon the goblins.

Fat and Useless posted:

By the end of this Fogwall will be two forts separated by a giant wall and it will be glorious.

The great Fogwall wall

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Nov 4, 2014

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

You are not dead. There has been zero change to your situation. You are still locked up alone in a room containing only a well, which is positioned directly above our incredible mayor. You are a miner, however, and in your spare time you have carved an identical room beside the room you are in. The only difference between the two rooms is, because you are locked up and have no access to the rest of the items int he fort, the second room contains no well, lever, vertical bars preventing escape by river, doors, menacing wooden spikes, or spike traps. And, of course, the bottom area has yet to be flooded with water.

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Elf migrants have been added to the update

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Hey at least elves have famously good alcohol, not everything about the elf name is bad :v:

I've also added The Names of the Banished to the update, since I figured people would be interested in knowing if they were part of the military or not.

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

So did I :v:

Toughness and Strength are two different stats in DF. Strength is how well you throw a punch, and Toughness is how well you take a punch, is my understanding

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Neither colony has access to picks, though the elf colony does have a trade advantage

You know, if goblins don't come and wipe them out first

Also! Some more migrants came while I was playing. I didn't realize that it takes them a full month before they're done coming in! More migrants have been added to the end of the update

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

So here is the current situation.



This happens immediately after the migrants arrive. Like literally, less than an in game week after the last migrant, the goblins come.

Now, personally, I think it would be pretty lame to have the elf dwarves immediately die. I've reloaded the save dozens of times (unfortunately, with the coming of summer the autosave overwrote my only save of the game, so I can't actually go back any further than 3 days until goblins), and I have found exactly one way to save the elf dwarves that does not involve unwalling the fortress (which is, of course, entirely unthinkable). It's a little dumb and gamey, but involves no cheating besides foreknowledge of 1. that goblins are coming 2. they will all come from the other side of the river, and all in one huge group.

Before committing to my plan as the final fate for the fort, I wanted to check with you guys to see if you think this is against the spirit of the great Dwarf Fortress LP Tradition. I normally wouldn't reload for this kind of thing (losing is fun etc etc), but come on, those guys just got here. And I already went through the tedious work of getting all those personality screenshots so

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

diarmuidqq posted:

What's Caro the military dwarf doing? I haven't seen him about for a while, so maybe he's dead and I missed it.

He's been banished. Otherwise I haven't seen anything particularly noteworthy about him. Looks like he helped kill that troll? :shrug:

ninjewtsu posted:

And the Names of the Banished



Xun posted:

I see you haven't dwarfed me yet my significant other. You are hereby consigned to mushrooms forever

It's not my fault you're 217th in line!

CAT rear end now!!! posted:

and, effectively, Drakenel's newborn baby :stonk:

Oh not just Drakenel's. There was an awful lot of military dwarves carrying babies. That good old fashioned Dwarven Body Armor at work, I suppose


Spanish Matlock posted:

As far as I'm concerned the only kind of cheating that's bad for an overseer is if they're saying no to something a previous overseer did. Like if Veloxyll dug a secret caverns exit somewhere and a troll snuck in and I reloaded and walled that exit up, that'd be kind of a lovely -gently caress you- compared to the masterwork <<*gently caress You*>> that was given to me. (Pretty sure there was a secret caverns exit somewhere. No one snuck in it. I'm pretty sure it's below the lower wall now.)

The mindset I've had is that cheating is only allowed if it makes things more interesting. So no reloading random deaths or whatever, that's all part of the story. But, for example, the good mayor's project had a number of problems with it (and still does, actually! Working on trying to figure out how to solve them without just having a do over. Fun Fact: Stephen can pretty high when he feels like it. Also hungry dwarves won't pull levers, even if there is nothing else for them to do and no food is available), and I went ahead and reloaded to fix that because none of the problems were interesting or funny. The end result was "well I guess another project room has to be dug out now. That's a week's worth of waiting down the drain, whoops."

Erecting a wooden wall at the bridge AFTER goblins show up just seemed too blatant for me to just go ahead with it without getting a consensus first though.

Elves are well known for their speedy construction skills

(Also the caverns were a mess that I just did not want to deal with. There was some 4 branching paths in there that I did not want to closely inspect for access. The wall is strategically placed so as to cut off all of them. The overseer who unwisely chooses to tear the wall down can figure that part out)

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Dashticle posted:

If I had been drawn from the overseer hat I was going to build one of these too and so I did my homework on it. Pretty sure one of the problems is Water needs to be at least 2 whole Z levels deep to draw a well from it. From what I see this one isn't, but moving the well one more Z up, demolishing the floor in the old well room then screw-pumping water into that level from the reservoir should fix it? .

Nah that isn't a problem. There's a well in the hospital that's only one deep that people are drinking from, so I don't think that's the issue.

The big problem right now is Stephen didn't bleed enough or something, so the lever needs to be pulled again. However, Nuramor is starving (I left him in there to force him to drink from the well) and as such refuses to do anything that isn't eating. Unlocking the door and releasing him, however, also releases Stephen, who apparently can climb out of the well)


diarmuidqq posted:

Going to a foreign land (aboveground), fighting the enemies (Goblins) of a foreign people (Elves). Sounds like Caro to me. Now all we need for it to come full circle is for him to get captured by the Goblins and tossed in a cell to rot :>

Caro isn't an ElfDwarf, he's a banished TrollDwarf. Along with the rest of the military of Fogwall, he's down in the caverns eating moss and punching trolls

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 22:06 on Nov 5, 2014

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Air is lava! posted:

Can't you dig a hole from above and drop some food down?

I've gotten food in there, but for some reason Nuramor is just broken or something. He refuses to do anything except stand over the water ramp made by the final flood channel, unless I unlock the doors. Some kind of food strike maybe?

In any case, I've found that if I quickly unlock the doors, wait for Nuramor to move (first thing he does is take a drink. Why couldn't he have done that before? :iiam:) then immediately lock the doors again, everything turns out alright.

More or less. Stephen leaves the well, then hops back in after the door locks.

Experiments are still ongoing. Not sure I can do an update tonight (if I do, it'll probably be on the short side), between fixing Stephen's project, the TrollDwarves finally reaching a point where they have the resources to do something besides scavenge for food, and the ElfDwarf situation, this has suddenly become very time consuming to get any in game time to pass at all!

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012



1st Hematite

Summer has arrived!

A giant toad has found its way over to the Banished TrollDwarf colony. The TinkerToy orders the TrollDwarves to get their weapons and armor.

Toad never stood a chance

3rd Hematite

They must have been following the Elf Migrants.

The goblins appeared up on the north side of the river. The elves are totally defenseless! Using their refined, graceful, cat-like elf reflexes, they hastily construct a wall blocking off the bridge before the goblins can get across. As always, walls are the answer.

5th Hematite

It would appear that someone has brought Nuramor some food. How interesting.

Smelling food, Stephen Armstrong leaps out of the well

He hops right back in shortly after

9th Hematite

A Jabberer attacked a TrollDwarf. The TrollDwarves prepare to retaliate.

The jabberer proceeds to kill an elk bird with its big toe

Nuramor, in the meantime, starts pulling the awful spike lever again.

After Stephen starts screaming in pain, Nuramor stops. It seems Nuramor has pulled the lever a few too many times, and Stephen has had his ankle jammed and a fractured hand.

Also, his index finger flew off, up the well, and landed over here

Nuramor takes a moment to clean up the blood

Nuramor then reaches into the well, grabs the good mayor, and carts him off to the hospital.
The mayor, still conscious, decrees that the well in the hospital be dismantled, and that dwarves shall only drink from the well of his project now.

The trolldwarves, in the meantime, have been chasing after the jabberer, who runs away from them, overcome by terror.

Fat and Useless eventually catches up to the jabberer, immediately stabbing it through the head

The rest of the combat log that is cut off here is just another 3 attacks or so, and they’re all Fat and Useless slashing the gently caress out of that jabberer’s face

12th Hematite

The elfdwarves have begun militarization behind their wall. A small structure is being built to serve as the Mighty Elf Dwarf Fort. Crossbows and crossbow bolts are being carved from the plentiful wood. Mechanisms are being made out of the piles of rocks the fortress had left outside, to make traps out of, and large spiked balls are being carved out to give those traps a nasty bite. The herd of animals that was left outside by the fortress is being slaughtered, the animal skin being made into quivers and the animal bones made into crude armor.

The elfdwarves will not sit and wait forever. No help is coming for them until after the goblins are dead, and the elfdwarves know that.

------
Very short update today! Wanted to be able to get you guys SOMETHING by this evening.

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Lektor posted:

The rest of the combat log that is cut off here is just another 3 attacks or so, and they’re all Fat and Useless slashing the gently caress out of that jabberer’s face

Isn't that exactly the kind of stuff to include in DF lp? anyways looking forward to the real antics beginning for the elves


:shrug: Seemed unnecessary for me to devote more than one image/make a larger image for that, unless something spectacular happened within the combat log. Maybe it's because I've read a billion DF combat logs and the excitement of "Urist stabs the Jabberer in the head, tearing the muscle and bruising the skull" 10 times in a row has worn off for me.

necrotic posted:

Is that his actual bio? Awesome.

This is turning out to be a great turn, thank you for the entertainment. Also, where did my dwarf end up? Barred inside the fort? She's kind of a loner.

No that is not his actual bio

necrotic is a DENIZEN OF THE WALL, and hasn't really done anything of interest to my knowledge. When I checked up on her she was bringing some Plump Helmets down into the dining room for dinner.

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 06:42 on Nov 8, 2014

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012

Idles is standing around idle in the dining room

ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012



In case anyone was wondering what the true dwarf fortress experience is like (this is the second time this has happened for this update)

Is anyone else using this version having frequent problems with this? 40.13 for the record

EDIT: hahaha I tried resizing my window to get a full combat log and as a result crash count is 3 times now :smithicide:

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 15:45 on Nov 9, 2014

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ninjewtsu
Oct 9, 2012



13th Hematite

So, there’s this catapult here, at the (former) entrance to the fort. It’s set to fire at all times. It is pointed towards the inside of our fort.

I don’t understand? Seems like a good way for a helpless dwarf to get a rock in the face, and of course we don’t need protective measures now that we have The Walls. It’s kind of a miracle that no one has died to this yet. I put out an order for catapult to cease firing.

14th Hematite
You know. I was walking around, minding my own business when I came across good old Geri Khan today, and stopped to have a chat with her.

Something off about that dwarf, but I use can’t quite place my finger on it…

21st Hematite

A goblin bowman is trying to swim across the river. The elfdwarves are nowhere near ready for combat! There is 21 of them though, surely they can handle just one goblin.

As the elfdwarves take up battle stations, the goblin amuses itself by shooting a stork before its assault on the elfdwarf camp.

Well that’s three less arrows for the elfdwarves to worry about, at least

Oh dear. It seems a troll has gotten across the river as well, and is gunning right for the elfdwarves. How does the battle go? The elfdwarf forces, led by Bucket Jones, Grizzwold, and Wentley, storm out the incomplete fort to fight the troll.

It is entirely possible that the elfdwarves have made a grave miscalculation, and actually had more time to prepare their forces. The troll is more interested in running down an alpaca baby than fighting the elfdwarves. Unfortunately, by the time Bucket Jones, the head elven tactician, realizes this, it is far too late.

ChocolatePancake, the five year old dwarf child who’s been playing army with her older brother, Farseli, rushes out to face the troll before any other elfdwarves can arrive.


ChocolatePancake puts up a decent enough fight, all things considered. The troll gores through the child with its tusks, but, undeterred, the five year old keeps punching, giving the troll a few bruises.

ChocolatePancake was prepared to die, and unfortunately, eventually the troll grabs her by the neck and wrings the life out of her.

Torrance is the first adult to get to the fight. Seeing the breathless corpse of ChocolatePancake held in the troll’s giant hands, she freezes in horror, but only for a moment. She assaults the troll immediately, unable to score any real blows, but she keeps the troll on the backfoot as the rest of the elfdwarves arrive.

Wentley is the next one to the battle, closely followed by the rest of the elves, most of them unarmed. The troll charges right at Wentley, who takes the charge head on and is knocked to the ground. Wentley immediately starts brawling with the troll, the rest of the elfdwarves quickly joining in.

None of the elfdwarves can do more than bruise the troll. The troll is unable to get a decisive hit in for a while, too busy dodging the flurry of blows form the elves, when eventually

Wentley takes a tusk to the head, and falls to the ground in a crumpled heap.

The rest of the elfdwarves keep fighting, undeterred by Wentley’s unfortunate fate. None of them are strong enough to do any more than bruise the troll, however

The troll, now under a vicious flurry of blows that it cannot hope to dodge or block, unable to score a hit on even a single one of the many dwarves swarming it, finally collapses, too tired to continue fighting.


While the troll was squeezing the breath out of ChocolatePancake’s lungs, another goblin bowman makes it across the river, opening fire on the approaching elfdwarves. A few elfdwarves split off from the troll brawl to tackle this goblin instead, a couple of the few armed elfdwarves (Oak Thorshield and Valiantman) taking aim with their crossbows

The elfdwarves have a much harder time scoring a hit on the goblin than the troll. The goblin is far too fast for their untrained arms.


The elfdwarves waste no time laying into the troll after it falls, the troll putting up only the weakest of attempts to stop them

Eventually, the troll finally gives in and can fight back no longer, falling unconscious. The elfdwarves immediately start trying to bash its head in. They have some trouble getting through the troll’s thick skull, but with the troll down for the count it’s only a matter of time really.


As the brawl rages on, yet another goblin bowman crosses the river, this one joining the very first (who has not joined in the brawl)


With its final arrow, the goblin bowman lets loose an arrow right into Leykins’ spine, who shrugs the attack off and charges right at the bowman, his eyes red with fury. The goblin, reaching for another arrow only to find none, is knocked to the ground as Leykins piles on top of it, screaming and kicking. The goblin shoves Leykins off and gets up on its feet, staring down Leykins and Pol Aron before engaging in melee with them, its arrows spent. Grouchy Fish, seeing her husband screaming and rushing down the goblin, breaks off from the troll fight to assist her husband in his battle.

The three elfdwarves fight valiantly against the goblin, but this goblin is a seasoned veteran of war. Pol Aron, frustrated at the goblin dancing around his every attack, charges at the goblin just as Leykins did. The goblin stands firm, however, and knocks Pol Aron back. Seeing weakness in Pol Aron’s untrained skills, the goblin dives for his leg, biting into the bone. Shaking Pol Aron’s leg around with his teeth, the goblin leaves Pol Aron with a nasty, gaping leg wound.



As the battle rages on, Bucket Jones and Grizzwold soundly sleep in the mud, blissfully unaware of their military duties and the fate of their daughter, ChocolatePancake.


As Leykins, Grouchy Fish, and Pol Aron dance the deadliest dance with the goblin bowman, the other elfdwarves have not let up on the troll’s noggin. Wentley got back up to show that troll what for, only to find the troll already on the ground with four other elfdwarves stomping its face in. Wentley was all too happy to join in.

For a brief moment, the troll wakes up, only to realize that its friends have not taken the river plunge to save it, and gently drifts back into what could very well be an eternal slumber.

They seriously are just punching its face in for 7 pages and counting at this point



Pol Aron, Leykins, and Grouchy Fish still just cannot land a hit in on the goblin bowman. At the same time, however, although the goblin bowman is a seasoned veteran, it is not a frontline fighter, and years of pulling bowstrings instead of lifting axes has left its muscles a little lacking. Armed only with a copper bow to use as a crude blunt object, the goblin’s hits don’t even make it through the elfdwarves’ leather cloaks. The four dance in this stalemate for a few minutes, until, finally

Just like its troll friend before it, the goblin falls, unable to keep up with 3 opponents that it can not hurt.

Just because it’s on the ground doesn’t mean it’s down for the count though. Seeing the elfdwarves let their guard down as it falls, the goblin waits for its time to strike. Leykins is the first to move, grabbing the goblin by the toe. The goblin, seeing its opportunity, lunges for Leykins’ arm, biting into it.

Leykins, filled with fear at the memory of what the goblin’s teeth did to Pol Aron’s leg, instantly punches the goblin in the chest. The goblin feels something inside of it give, just a little. This punch was the first strike in this entire fight to give the goblin pause, and the thought that it could die here flashes through its mind. The punch bruised it, just like any other, but the goblin knew. Something inside it had been bruised, something important. And when Leykins grabbed the goblin’s face and wrenched its mouth open, the goblin, momentarily distracted by its own mortality, didn’t even remember to keep biting down.

Enraged at losing its grip on Leykins’ arm, the goblin lashes out wildly, its bow bouncing off Leykins’ cloak ineffectually yet again, but its fingers catches the side of Leykins’ skull. And swiftly, coldly, the goblin digs its fingernails into Leykins’ head and rips them straight through his ear.

Seeing Leykins clutch the side of his head as blood streams out between his fingers, the elfdwarves lay into the goblin furiously.

And slowly, the goblin starts to feel it again. It’s been hurt. It’s only bruises, but as the bruises pile on top of bruises, something inside it is slowly starting to give.

Bit by bit, the goblin is falling apart. And finally, it can’t take it anymore.

The goblin gives up.

It doesn’t take long. A goblin is nowhere near as hardy as a troll. The elfdwarf trio just punches it, they start punching and they don’t stop. Not until Pol Aron, the pain from his leg wound driving him crazy, his eyes filled with bloodlust, punches the goblin with all his might, square in the gut.

It just can’t take it. The goblin’s body, finally fed up with all the abuse it has received, just caves in. Pol Aron’s fist just punches straight through the goblin’s belly, squishing its guts into a disgusting mass of bodily fluids.


The trio is done. That goblin isn’t getting back up. Grouchy Fish, Leykins, and Pol Aron turn their backs on their goblin foe. Panting heavily, they catch their breaths. A second later, still not satisfied with the death of the goblin, Pol Aron marches towards the troll’s unconscious body, eager to help end this skirmish as soon as possible.

Leykins and Grouchy Fish stay behind, standing beside the goblin’s corpse. Together, the married couple cannot move. The stress and turmoil of their first battle is finally settling in on their psyches. Both of them, overcome by the horror of their experience, wordlessly stand beside each other. It was too much. They can’t do it again. Not even against an unconscious foe, with eight other dwarves beside them. They had to stop.

And then, something happened that made the elfdwarves take pause.

A dwarf that they had never seen before waddled up to the battleground, a cheery smile on his face as he kindly greeted the strangers. Not a single elfdwarf knew who he was. They had only been at Fogwalls a month, but with only 23 dwarves to get to know, the elfdwarves could quickly recognize any face that they saw.

But they did not recognize this dwarf’s face.

How did Spanish Matlock escape the wall? Is there a flaw in the fortress’ security? Where could he have come from? I cannot say.

Spanish Matlock stopped his merry “Hi Ho”s as he saw the troll. His face immediately drained of all its cheer. He took a couple slow steps back. This was not what he expected to find when he left the fortress. He just wanted to grab a trinket from the aboveground, surely he must have thought the surface still safe and goblin free. And yet, there he was, staring 8 dwarves in the face as they tirelessly stomped all over an unconscious troll.


As Spanish Matlock slowly made his way away from the troll, the elfdwarves got back to work on the troll.
When I took this screenshot, the troll falling unconscious for the first time happened on page 4 out of 32


Somehow, Veloxyll has made his way outside as well. I will have to interrogate Both him and Spanish Matlock later to find out how.

Finally, Grizzwold and Bucket Jones have finally awoken. They each deal with the news of their daughter’s demise differently.

Grizzwold marches right over to the troll that murdered his daughter and joins in with the rest of the dwarves stomping its face in, determined to be the one that strikes the killing blow

Bucket Jones, unable to cope with the news, begins violently lashing out at everything nearby her.



I order Spanish Matlock and Veloxyll to reenter the fortress, but neither of them can seem to figure out their way inside. Which I suppose means that they are both simply stuck out there! At any rate, I then ask them to help out the Elves with their troll problem. And extra pair of stomping feet should help, and it would be nice if those elves could get back to developing better means of disposing of trolls.


Veloxyll and Spanish Matlock take one look at that troll on the ground and immediately turns around and runs.

I don’t know why but somehow I expected something much more useful to happen.


Veloxyll gets over his fears, comes back to punch the troll in the facea few more times, then realizes that he is punching an unconscious troll and runs away again.

This troll has been unconscious for 4 days now.


Manicmole, having become immensely frightened at the troll’s durability, ran away screaming up north.

Where the first goblin to cross the river was standing around.

Luckily, that goblin’s friend from earlier crossed back over the river again. Unluckily, Manicmole is probably in no condition to fight a goblin on his own.


Viggy Nash, similiarly, went running north as well. Only, good ol’ Viggy rana bit more directly north, and went straight into the river.

The goblins on the other side of the river noticed him pretty fast.


Viggy ain’t in good shape.

Manicmole ain’t looking too good either

Leykins, too, took an unfortunate trip up north.

This is getting silly. It is the 1st of Malachite now. The fighting began on the 21st of Hematite. Clearly, the elfdwarves + some weird escapees are not cutting it. The elf dwarves are going to need some help.





Some troll help.

-------
I am so sorry that this took so long to get out. And it’s not even finished kind of!

I mean, it's a mostly completed overseer journal. It’s certainly longer than my other journals, though again, not very much in-game time has passed. Feedback would be appreciated! How did you guys like this approach to battle descriptions? Was it hard to follow? I mostly just went through the battle logs, looked around the map occasionally, unpaused for a few seconds, then checked the logs again, updating the update as I went. Did I go into the fighting a bit too in depth? Do I suck at describing what is happening? Was it too disjointed to be constantly swapping back and forth between the goblin trio and the troll?

As you might be able to tell I got a bit less serious about this after the goblin trio was finished. Too much silly stuff just started happening. Did the lack of a consistent tone ruin the update?

Also, I tried to proofread the update, but with 50+ images it's entirely possible I missed something. let me know if there's an image that looks like it doesn't belong, or duplicates or any other such things

ninjewtsu fucked around with this message at 19:45 on Nov 9, 2014

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