The Management posted:

LinkedIn has allowed me to experience what it's like to be a pretty girl on a dating site, except that my suitors are idiot recruiters offering terrible jobs I don't want.

maniacdevnull posted:

care to work at a helpdesk, m'recruit?

maniacdevnull posted:

what the hell you bitch wasn't i so nice when i offered you a bad job at a quarter if you current salary? you loving owe me.

Smythe posted:

as a native californian i cannot wait for the big weed revenues this great state is going to get in the next few years. lots of fuckin money for me and my brothers in law to embezzle and fleece of this great land. big lol if you think my ex dealers hookup andre can compete with the big strong bodies of big pharma and their militias of hatchet men. i can't wait for big pharma to rain death on the cartels in the vast deserts of our sister land mexico in the great drug proxy wars of the 2020s. big props to my mexican plutocrat homeboys whos homes will be burned to ashes by the great siege between the zetas and pfizer. may the skulls of the cartel small sons be swept aside by the long arm of american capitalism. praise be to johnson and johnson, novartis, and glaxosmithkline - destroyerss of the russian mob, mexican cartel, and armenian mafia. may i never have to smoke a bowl with a retard dealer again. may this great state of california, home of the grizzly bear and big rear end hawk, home of big bear lake and the great sequoias feast upon the weed tax dollar. may the dank buds, big crystals, and wicked red hairs feed our neglected community and state colleges. parks dept. save the delta jerry!

Anatharon posted:

Does the thread title make any more sense in context?

Darth123123 posted:

Is this the new best quotes or bad quotes thread? I'm confuse

Shadeoses posted:

Captain Fraiser's C-35 had flown through a butt

Someone on Reddit posted:

Could this be a government posing as a hacker in order to discredit the threat to mainstream currencies? I don't think so, but I do think conspiracy theories will be abound!

Soricidus posted:

in the basement of the NSA, in a darkened room illuminated only by the sinister glow of monitors and blinking leds, crouches lt. col. judas b schiller, us cyber command.

the credentials prism gave him were correct: he has just logged into sourceforge with the account of the cryptoterrorist who threatens the very existence of the state he is sworn to protect. now it is time to fight back.

sweating, lt. col. schiller carefully types the word "buttcoin," then pauses to admire it. with increasing confidence he continues: "is a peer to peer butt."

america is saved.

THE PENETRATOR posted:

I assume uli is the fat one

THE PENETRATOR posted:

is he in that pic because the 2nd not fat guy doesnt seem like an artist to me

THE PENETRATOR posted:

hm well it seems like the fat goon is the huge autist here which makes sense lol

Displeased Moo Cow posted:

i dont want any semen in my mouth

Ericadia posted:

its easy to say this when you're sitting and theorizing, but out there in the field things are different, rules go out the window and you just have to do what you have to do

Sion posted:

grover forums


loadbearing css

quote:

The scene where Elton says he and Ursula have "a bit of a love life" was criticised by some commentators, who felt that the resultant implication of having oral sex with a paving slab was unsuitable for Doctor Who's large family audience; others, however, dismissed this dialogue as a harmless joke that children would not understand.^[27]

Hat Thoughts posted:

It's a really good episode, and people get mad when their dumb kids show acts like a dumb kids show.

s1ckly dW33b posted:

ArfJason posted:

me in dark hallway, a silhouette approaches: Twisty... is that, oh my god, is that you!?
twisty: the twisty you know *holds up kitchen lighter, flame illuminating his mime makeup* is dead...

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Quote thread rules:

1. Don't poo poo up the thread.
2. Don't poo poo up the goddamn thread.
3. Post forums quotes.

WindmillSlayer posted:

Your a stupid idiot

a kitten posted:

Wtf. Pro Target? I thought that guy died in the flames of old BYOB.

edit:

Blackula69 posted:

welcome to ethics 201, where we'll be doing a playthrough of spec ops: the line

mind the walrus posted:

Don't know if you're a fresh 2012 or a re-reg but if you're the former I'm really bloody impressed you figured it out so soon.

Luigi's Discount Porn Bin posted:

I didn't think it was possible to find anything sexually exciting about the writing of Neal Stephenson or Isaac Asimov, but Big Yud's clearly spent at least a few slow evenings clumsily mashing together sticky copies of Anathem and Second Foundation and growling "now kiss!"

And in the lazy afterglow, as he drifts off to hedonic-utility-maximizing catgirl dreams, he repeats, prayerlike, "All roads lead to the Bay Area, and that is where all startups end."

Dixie Cretin Seaman posted:

thanks, i wound up using $6 clear shower safety treads

i know im gonna get mocked for this, but it's a much better grip, thin, sticks really well, protects the back, doesn't show at all from the front, and and putting a double layer in the upper right hand corner eliminates the camera wobble. the stainless steel apple logo is still shiny but not reflective, and still looks reasonably handsome. overall it suits my needs p well.

Citizen Tayne posted:

I want at least one dad, ever, to be honest and tell his kids "Yeah, son, mommy and I are getting divorced and it's all your fault."

Citizen Tayne posted:

I'm tired of your mother's bulging panniculus, son. It's time for greener pastures and younger pussy.

ArfJason posted:

Orange Fluffy Sheep posted:

I am going to give Professor Clumsy the benefit of the doubt and assume he went completely insane before writing that review.

If he confirms that he was lucid the entire time then welp.

Nemesis Of Moles posted:

It just reads to me like he's pointing out how lazy the design is and how it adheres real strongly to cartoonishly outdated gender bullshit, and how super dumb that sounds. The woman plane is pink with giant eyelashes and sexy propellers and that's really really stupid. "someone who has no idea what a female plane would look like" doesn't mean "There are female planes and they do not look like this", it means "someone who didn't think for a second on how to design this character and just went the simple and dumb route"

I mean I didn't read the review or anything so maybe the next paragraphs goes in depth about the exact specifications for a real 'female plane' but I dunno.

Small Frozen Thing posted:

I'm continually baffled by how some people seem to think there's anything to be gained from fighting with FYAD

contrapants posted:

While there are two or three FYAD regulars replying to him, he's mostly just owning himself.

zoux posted:

I've never read Current Releases but they aren't jokey reviews but sincere ones?

zoux posted:

Hmmm maybe they should not be on the site that's about making fun of the Internet?

Big Anime Fan Here posted:

hey i wasn't around for the thing where Ralp made cool parallels between irl crimes and their harsh consequences and forums indiscretions and punishments or whatever, but the real comparison to draw from the forums is that every time one of the gbs mods or admins kirks out and starts banning a bunch of people for calling them names it is the manifestation of every time they did not have the courage to shoot up the school.

Keg posted:

g0m: instead of being bad and strange about modding gbs, I'm gonna try to be good and funny instead as an experiment

Ralp and Franco in unison: *confused Home Improvement grunt*

quote:

You probably wouldn't see a cougar coming.

quote:

If she faked an orgasm, wouldn't I have seen her coming? I don't get it.

Mans posted:

Some extra "goons can't comprehend sex" quotes.


(about men who think women orgasms are a myth\rarity)

LITERALLY A BIRD posted:

16 year olds are absolutely still children.

One of the villains in Crime and Punishment posted:

[T]heir last daughter's a schoolgirl, they took her out of school without letting her finish, in a month she'll be just sixteen, which means in a month she can be married. To me, that is. We went there; it was very funny. I introduced myself: a landowner, a widower, from a notable family, with such-and-such connections, with money - so what if I'm fifty and she's not sixteen yet? Who's looking at that? But isn't it tempting, eh? It's tempting, ha, ha! You should have seen me talking with the papa and mama! People would have paid just to see me then. She comes out, curtsies - can you imagine, she's still in a short dress; an unopened bud - she blushes, turns pink as the dawn (they had told her, of course). I don't know how you feel about women's faces, but to my mind those sixteen years, those still childish eyes, that timidity, those bashful little tears - to my mind they're better than beauty, and on top of that she's just like a picture. Fair hair fluffed up in little curls like a lamb's, plump little crimson lips, little feet - lovely!

BKPR posted:

If I read right, the catalyst for the old dude's big teen-ogling spiel was a woman talking about how she had been manipulated/abused by an older partner (who was involved in their anime game guild?) Even supposing the things he said were reasonable, bringing it up in response to that is insane.

Tubgirl Cosplay posted:

How many people have ever been ignored without an accompanying "Excuthe me, welcome to my ignore litht thir!" post, like five?

Mr Tastee posted:

I'm 20. I'm suspended from my easy-rear end 10-hours-a-week office support job because I fell asleep on the job and because I've been goofing off on the internet. On the off-days I go to the equivalent of a day care for the elderly and mentally disabled. I live with my uncle. I can't cook for real. I have never successfully been a full-time college student. The last two people I lived with kicked me out because they couldn't deal with me any more. I largely live off the teat of the government. Whenever poo poo hits the fan I try to kill myself. My reaction to reading GBS threads being transphobic is to get unironically angry and post in reaction to it.

I need to act like an adult but I just don't know what that means or how I do it. I need help, E/N. Please help.

Dex posted:

You have everything it takes to be an LP superstar, my friend.

Frostwerks posted:

Hahaha it reads correctly now.

WeaponGradeSadness posted:

How are you not just constantly ashamed to be the person you are

Pope Guilty posted:

The hell is this about?