- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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God drat him. God drat that loving bastard. He hosed our moms right on the sparkling linoleum floor.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:33
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 28, 2024 04:40
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- i am he
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me: wow this floor is sparklin!! chicka chicka wow thats clean!
mr clean: *whispering in my ear* thats what your mom said last night when i hosed her on it...
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Sep 5, 2014 05:34
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- Diqnol
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I should have known that his highly effective cleaning solution would lead to the perfect crime...what a fool I was...
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Sep 5, 2014 05:35
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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Dad: I should have known. 'Stronger, longer'? I'm such an idiot.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:37
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- i am he
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Why are stupid bitches only attracted to older guys who can give them the level of floor cleanliness they've always wanted?
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Sep 5, 2014 05:37
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- Diqnol
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All my life I've striven to be the strongest, handsomest, baldest man I could possibly be when all along the secret to my Mom's heart was a cheap and effective cleaning product.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:39
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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That fucker gave her multiple floorgasms. To my own mudder', he did!
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Sep 5, 2014 05:42
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- i am he
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Now I have to see him staring at me every day, smugly, with his arms crossed, from the cabinet where we keep all the cleaning supplies.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:44
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- Looke
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I hosed mrs clean
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Sep 5, 2014 05:45
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- Diqnol
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That bald son of a bitch never says a word. He just looks at me with a confidence I know my mother cannot resist. I tremble at the thought but hesitate to get involved and return to a kitchen floor that behooves me to wear socks again.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:47
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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[grocery store]
Me: Sale on Chlorox.
Mom: Ummmm, no that's okay.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:47
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- i am he
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[friend at house for the first time]
Friend: drat! these floors... they're so clean, that shine! looks like they're probably free of 99.9% of bacteria and germs as well.
Me: I don't want to talk about it, let's go to a room with carpet please.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:50
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- Diqnol
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My mom doesn't even try to hide it any more. When I am sent to the store for groceries, she reminds me to get a bottle of "Mr. Peen" with a giggle. Mother, don't you know what this is doing to me?
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Sep 5, 2014 05:51
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- cuntman.net
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im really good at housework. mopping the floors and wiping the tables and such. when people ask why im so good at that i say it must be in the blood haha then i start crying
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Sep 5, 2014 05:54
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- mags
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I am a congenital optimist.
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mr clean would never do such a thing
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Sep 5, 2014 05:54
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- i am he
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I can't even set foot in the kitchen anymore. My mom is all "look at this, its incredible, you can see your reflection in it!" It's true, I can, but all I see staring back at me is a child who knows his parents marriage is falling apart, and is powerless to stop it. How could I? When facing cleaning products that are that cheap and effective.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:55
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- i am he
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I'm pretty much over it now, but I still have to fast forward through the dance scene in Risky Business.
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Sep 5, 2014 05:57
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- Diqnol
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His hauntingly jolly laugh pervades my very essence. I cannot even sleep at night anymore without my mind wandering back to the unrivaled cleanliness of my kitchen floor, its utter lack of bacteria a symbol of the black hole in my chest. The sound of the mop as it goes about its fetid work, *splish splosh* *splish splosh*, brings me to a new level of despair with every stroke. My mother is a very thorough cleaner to have wiped away both the coffee stain from this morning and my very spirit in one stroke.
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Sep 5, 2014 06:01
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- i am he
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His hauntingly jolly laugh pervades my very essence. I cannot even sleep at night anymore without my mind wandering back to the unrivaled cleanliness of my kitchen floor, its utter lack of bacteria a symbol of the black hole in my chest. The sound of the mop as it goes about its fetid work, *splish splosh* *splish splosh*, brings me to a new level of despair with every stroke. My mother is a very thorough cleaner to have wiped away both the coffee stain from this morning and my very spirit in one stroke.
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Sep 5, 2014 06:01
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- WetNightmare
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by sebmojo
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Me: [watching television] Oh no...Not this commercial...
[♫♬Mr. Clean will clean your house and everything that's in it. Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean♫♬]
[inside the television Mr. Clean points at my mom and gives thumbs up]
Me: gently caress you.
[Mr. Clean starts thrusting his hips to the tempo of the jingle]
Me: Hey gently caress you pal. Alright? gently caress you.
[Mr. Clean starts spanking an imaginary rear end while thrusting]
Me: gently caress you!
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Sep 5, 2014 06:03
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- Izumi Konata
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by Ralp
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my dad is bald.
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Sep 5, 2014 06:23
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- i am he
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my parents are getting divorced now, because of mr clean.
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Sep 12, 2014 17:21
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- Iseeyouseemeseeyou
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i too gently caress all your moms
hello children
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Sep 12, 2014 17:32
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- google THIS
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Me: [watching television] Oh no...Not this commercial...
[♫♬Mr. Clean will clean your house and everything that's in it. Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean♫♬]
[inside the television Mr. Clean points at my mom and gives thumbs up]
Me: gently caress you.
[Mr. Clean starts thrusting his hips to the tempo of the jingle]
Me: Hey gently caress you pal. Alright? gently caress you.
[Mr. Clean starts spanking an imaginary rear end while thrusting]
Me: gently caress you!
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Sep 12, 2014 19:44
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- Izumi Konata
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by Ralp
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a bald man with bold eyebrows looks kinda like a shiny new dildo. for a gay man alone at sea, or a lonely housewife who gets a sustained erection everytime dr phil comes on, or evendr. phil when he's alone at sea.
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Sep 14, 2014 00:46
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- dogcrash truther
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Sep 14, 2014 01:07
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 28, 2024 04:40
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- the unabonger
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Me: [watching television] Oh no...Not this commercial...
[♫♬Mr. Clean will clean your house and everything that's in it. Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean♫♬]
[inside the television Mr. Clean points at my mom and gives thumbs up]
Me: gently caress you.
[Mr. Clean starts thrusting his hips to the tempo of the jingle]
Me: Hey gently caress you pal. Alright? gently caress you.
[Mr. Clean starts spanking an imaginary rear end while thrusting]
Me: gently caress you!
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Sep 14, 2014 01:59
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Sep 5, 2014 05:33
[pulls pillow over head]
