A whispy fart off the coast of Rhode Island

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > A whispy fart off the coast of Rhode Island

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Been working out in a fairly regular manner. I am slowly becoming a slightly hunk of a man instead of a disgusting piece of blob. Also some old news from my home ~~state~~ territory:

quote:

Coast Guard Pilot To Plead Guilty In The Rape Of The Wife Of A Fellow Officer

September 2, 2014 - A graduate of United States Coast Guard Academy and commissioned officer, Lt. Daniel G. Eyer, 31, will face a General Court Martial on Thursday at Air Station Borinquen for sexual assault and abusive sexual contact of the wife of a fellow officer. Eyer, a MH65C command helicopter pilot who has performed search and rescue and executed law enforcement will be charged with sexually assaulting and abusive sexual contact of the wife of another Coast Guardsman on March 8 in Aguadilla, Puerto Rico. Eyer, who is stationed at Air Station Borinquen is accused of assaulting the victim while she was asleep in a vehicle outside an establishment in Aguadilla. Under both charges, Eyer will be charged under the Uniform Code of Military Justice Article 120.

The Coast Guard�s month long investigation revealed that Eyer, the sole member accused in this case, engaged in sexually related misconduct, specifically sexual assault and abusive sexual contact. Eyer signed a pre-trial agreement and is expected to plead guilty to the charges. Eyer began his basic flight training in May 2005 and received his lieutenant's rank in May 2009.
Update: September 5, 2014 - Lt. Daniel G. Eyer entered a guilty plea at a General Court Martial at Coast Guard Air Station Borinquen in Puerto Rico, Thursday. A military judge sentenced Eyer to 24 months confinement and dismissal from the Coast Guard- the equivalent of a dishonorable discharge for officers.

Those rascally airdales!

Also the spanish news websites go into a little bit more detail on what he did to that poor woman that night. :stonk:

# ¿ Oct 2, 2014 01:14

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 02:31

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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VTS here in San Francisco is mostly civilian workers with a sprinkling of coasties.

# ¿ Oct 2, 2014 16:15

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Nostalgia4Infinity posted:

Feedback on this please:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3670878

Hey N41 Fleet Week is going on in San Francisco, there is probably prime grade enlisted male rear end you can jackhammer in here.

Anyways, fleet week has been... interesting so far, just a poo poo ton of radio guards, some people calling to close their guards but I never had their guards and having dudes calling on 3 different frequencies. Hell we even had a vesel that was taking on water, sunk and all people on board where saved*!

*Which I am happy about because this was:
1) My first SAR case I mostly worked by myself
2) My first PIW case where people actually lived :unsmith:

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 04:21

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Melthir posted:

He is doing it wrong...thin the gene pool.

All my previous cases involving people in the water none of them survived. :smith:

# ¿ Oct 10, 2014 18:33

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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nwin posted:

So the LCDR results came out today, 67% selection. 2/3 of the people I knew going for it made it.

I'll never get the way this poo poo works. The dude that got passed over was a DCO grad (engineer type) and went to the baltimore yards for his first tour as a JG, got accepted for grad school out of there, then had to do a payback at MSC where he earned his PE cert, and then came to Houston to work in Prevention with zero quals/operational experience. He completely kicked rear end and got a bunch of quals before he went for promotion, but ultimately got passed over.

You'd think we would try to set people up for success and if they're doing everything you ask of em, they'd get promoted. Obviously I've got a ton to learn about this and the CG definitely has things figured out, just not the way I think it should.

At least he's got plenty of high paying job offers being located in Houston with his experience.

The amount of dick sucking and bickering in the officer world makes me happy i went enlisted with a degree.

# ¿ Oct 17, 2014 02:34

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Mr. Nice! posted:

Yeah because gently caress double the money and half the work.

I know this and I'm still happy I enlisted with a degree and I have not pursued the path of becoming and officer after I enlisted.

Then again maybe its because I have been surrounded by a good enlisted people and scummy officers that I am embittered by the idea of going to the dark side. :shrug:

# ¿ Oct 17, 2014 03:50

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Oh God, im being a complete nerd and enjoying command center school at yorktown. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

# ¿ Oct 21, 2014 22:14

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Melthir posted:

Think about what you just said....enjoying yorktown...you need help.

I'm already beyond help. I mean waking up at 6, joining the zombie run and working out every day. Fuuuuuck :negative:

# ¿ Oct 22, 2014 11:57

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Elendil004 posted:

Honestly I never minded Yorktown. As long as you have a car it's fine. If not, then may god have mercy on your soul.

I don't have a car in here. The only thing I'm worried about is that the desperation will drive me to drink alcohol.

Because I don't drink anymore.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2014 20:45

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Elendil004 posted:

Go hang out with Grover

I don't want him to steal my bones, so he can ground them up to dust and use it to spackle his lovely bathroom tiles.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2014 03:58

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Melthir posted:

That sucks man....at least your not a dumb enlisted like me. Personally I'd say gently caress it and bail, the amount the poo poo on prior enlisted guys when it comes to advancement is criminal.

This is why I feel really hesitant to apply to try to become an officer, all the stories I have heard from E-to-O officers is so lovely and unfair.

In better news I got to see my adorable as gently caress niece. And went to the Mariners' Museum at Newport News and its really good, the lost at sea exhibit was a bit hard to walk though but they had an old as gently caress rowing surfboat.

I'm still waiting on the next set of cuts :smith:

# ¿ Nov 6, 2014 01:10

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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nwin posted:

Honestly, the best path I see right now is just making Chief and then going warrant if you can.

The only way I'd go officer is if I had over 10 years in as enlisted, because then you just have to make O-3 and you don't have to give a gently caress because you're guaranteed to hit 20 and retire. However, if you're over ten years, you should easily be a first class on your way to Chief (especially as an OS), and gently caress being a Chief going to OCS.

This is honestly the way i'm thinking of going. Especially since they are placing OSS in Sector command centers.

Plus I can have motto as gently caress sleeve tattoos as a warrant and that would be cool as gently caress.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2014 02:16

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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nwin posted:

You can have moto as gently caress sleeve tattoos regardless of who you are, and rest assured, you will still look like a jackass.

Yes but id be that weirdo as gently caress warrant that doesn't give a gently caress of what people think of him.

nwin posted:

idgi

Maybe he wants to ride one because he has suicidal tendencies?

# ¿ Nov 6, 2014 02:28

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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krispykremessuck posted:

I'm gonna be honest with you here for a sec, and I'm not even really trying to be mean. If that's the person you want to be, more power to you, but working for people like that is usually loving terrible. At the very best super awkward.

Jesus Christ no dude. I know very well how much of a goofball I am but at least I try to maintain a semblance of professionalism and I take my work very seriously. I work with a goony anime as gently caress guy that is grumpy as hell all the time and tries to act like a goofball all the goddammed time. It is as annoying as you guys are thinking.

I'm half joking about the tattos as I want more but I don't really want anything motto as gently caress.

# ¿ Nov 6, 2014 02:54

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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I MADE THE loving CUT I WILL BE PINNED OS2 ON THE FIRST WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

# ¿ Nov 17, 2014 23:56

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krispykremessuck posted:

I've been out two years, but since when do you find out you made the cut and two weeks later pick it up?

My OSC called me and let me know to be in trops at Coast Guard island on December 1 because i'm getting advanced.

I will triple verify this poo poo tomorrow, but I have no reason to distrust him.

Edit: I will also be rocking the Winter Blues because that uniform is sweet as gently caress.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 04:36

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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krispykremessuck posted:

How long have you been on the list? Are you waiting on the November 2013 list, or May 2014? I'm not saying you shouldn't believe him, but May's cuts just came out (well, in September) and they shouldn't be advancing off that SWE until January anyway. The advancement message for December isn't even out, as far as I know. I could be wrong, maybe they changed the day since I got out.

Either way, congrats. Sounds like your OSC is getting word from a friend if that message isn't out.

Its the november 2013 one, they cut all the way down to #56 and I am #57 on that list. I was something like #16 (after cutting all the people that advanced) on the may 2014 list.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 05:01

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Elendil004 posted:

Surprise Mast, calling it right now. What have you messed up recently that might be blowing back on you?

Not that I know off. It it happens I will probably just shrug it off, accept the charges, become an absolute poo poo head and get out in 4 years.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 05:14

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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nwin posted:

El maligno- are you one of those Hispanic dudes with two last names?

If so you're probably making it on the first. The enlisted advancement notice came out and there's only one person pinning on OS2.

Yes I am! Thanks.

Analogical posted:

I forgot it was advancement time. I can't wait for a new batch of E5s to walk around like they're hot poo poo for riding a stupidly high quota to E5.

I mean that about the CT community where its candy. Congrats OS2.

There is only like Three (now 2) OS3 in my current shop and there are no non-rates in there. So its not like I can flip my second class crows in there.

Besides I don't think that really fits in my personality.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 15:52

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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nwin posted:

Cool-congrats! Enjoy the pay bump. Are they going to transfer you out now?

Probably not, or at least I hope not. I know they are going to transfer a couple of OS1s that made OSC but they are not didnt talk about transferring those newly made OS2 or OS1.

# ¿ Nov 18, 2014 18:02

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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krispykremessuck posted:

Post-advancement transfers in an austere environment? Dude that stopped happening when the CG budget was still high. AN/SN/FN to PO3, PO1 to CPO, and PO1/CPO to CWO were the only non-officer-smoke-and-mirrors guaranteed transfers even before the budget went to poo poo.

Hell, 5 of the last 7 years I was in, I was filling a billet a paygrade (or two!) higher than what was on the PAL. Didn't stop PPC and HQ bitching about it, but they also weren't willing to either reprogram the billet or move me out to fix it.

Plus we are a bit short on people so I really doubt they are going to transfer me.

# ¿ Nov 20, 2014 03:23

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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nwin posted:

So they're actually increasing the tour lengths for certain billets. I don't have the message in front of me, but it was a bunch of aviation poo poo and then MST's are doing 5 years if they are at a feeder port and LT+ are doing 4 years at NCOE's instead of 3 like before (staff tour).

I never thought it would happen, just figured it was a bunch of rumors/thoughts. Five years seems like a really long time to be somewhere. I think they unit will benefit, but man are some people going to get bored/burnt out.

Depending on what happens on the next few years I may try to extend, transfer out of sector as an OS1 and homestay in the bay for a while. But mostly im happy that a good friend of mine has orders to D11, another wants to come here and I got an apartment for cheap (1200/month) and im going to get a 300 increase in my BAH next year (2400/month). im gonna save so much money.

# ¿ Dec 22, 2014 23:11

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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nwin posted:

Haha I just checked the bah tables-it's down about $150 for me next year. Normally that wouldn't be a problem since you stay grandfathered in, but since I'm promoting next December, I bump up to o-3e bah, which will still be $80 less than im making right now. Welp.

Yes but the bay area housing bubble is going to blow the gently caress up in a extremely ugly way, but until them im gonna ride this wave until i crash.

# ¿ Dec 23, 2014 00:45

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Had a dude call us on ch16 to wish us a happy new year. He also sounded drunk as hell.

Oh bay area :allears:

Edit: Happy new radio new year you filthy animals

ElMaligno fucked around with this message at 02:01 on Jan 1, 2015

# ¿ Jan 1, 2015 01:58

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Hey whats going on in the CG recenly?

Never mind...

# ¿ Feb 5, 2015 20:35

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krispykremessuck posted:

Sounds about right for an IT.

All ITs i know are a bunch of nerds that have wives and kids. Its kinda sad really.

Speaking of bad things.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2015 19:54

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Elendil004 posted:

So I hear y'all are not getting paid, maybe?

Haven't heard anything official from my chain or anywhere else, still would have to go to watch regardless.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2015 01:50

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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krispykremessuck posted:

Master's degrees ... haven't ruined their credit.

I really doubt this, i was pretty lucky to get in with almost no debt at all.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 02:59

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Rise from the dead you miserable thread.

Got weighted in today, lost 10 pounds since October, I will probably lose 10 more and be under my weight limit. :boom:

# ¿ Apr 16, 2015 04:44

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krispykremessuck posted:

you had to lose 20 lbs to get under your max??

technically 14, but I always made tape so who cares???

# ¿ Apr 18, 2015 06:14

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Mr. Nice! posted:

Sounds like you're fat to me.

I know a dude who is 3 inches smaller than me but had like 50 pounds on me, he is still in the cg!

Dude is a jacked as gently caress BM that would literary eat insane portions and workout almost everyday

# ¿ Apr 19, 2015 03:46

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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Speaking of moneis there are doing a 10000 for a 6 year re-enlistment bonuses for OS and FS. I may or may not qualify :shrug:

# ¿ May 8, 2015 01:36

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nwin posted:

6 years for 10,000? I remember when BM2 was an extra 20k or something to re-up. I only got 6k for four more years when I did as a BM2, and it went away right after that.

well yeah, but those money happy wasting days are over but OS3/FS3 have really high attrition rates and we are bleeding more E4s then we can train. A lovely carrot in a stick is better than no carrot in a stick.

# ¿ May 8, 2015 18:04

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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krispykremessuck posted:

I dunno man, it doesn't work out to being much after taxes. You'd make better money by getting out and doing contract work or going full-on civil service.

Its a good thing I am in no need for money and I like my current job.

and if for some dumb reason i can put that money into TSP or a mutual funds or something.

# ¿ May 8, 2015 22:19

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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From what i remember, the class never had torpedo tubes. Maybe they where supposed to have them but where removed during the design phase? I have no idea.

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 18:37

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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But I seriously panicked for a bit when I learned the news, but I am glad the crew is OK.

And no I wasn't on watch.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2015 04:40

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Elendil004 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQmllwTKtqU

A completely unbelievable story if not for the fact that it happened. 36500 is still around too, which is impressive (albeit maintained by the aux).

I heard the audiobook a couple of months ago and it gave me the hardest motto boner ever. Also i wonder how they are going to deal with the cook's death?

# ¿ Jul 8, 2015 22:22

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Elendil004 posted:

It's been years since I read the book, remind me again about the cook's death?

He gets chrushed between the lifeboat and the tanker. The book also mentions that years later Webber meets the cook's widow and kid. :smith:

# ¿ Jul 8, 2015 22:39

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Melthir posted:

What the gently caress is up with these god drat nonrates with anthropology degrees that some how think the college makes them special. I just had one ask me not to call him a dude because he identified as gender neutral.

hahahahahaha lmao, you should have told him to route that poo poo up the chain.

# ¿ Aug 3, 2015 02:43

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 02:31

ElMaligno: Dec 31, 2004; Be Gay!
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krispykremessuck posted:

On this day 4 years ago you creepily attended a funeral for someone you never met.

Man gently caress you

# ¿ Aug 27, 2015 20:50

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