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SATAN: heh. [turns into a snake] hey, Eve. EVE: yeah? SATAN: apples are like, really good. EVE: how would a snake know? SATAN: ehheh [nervously pulls bowtie] |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:01
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GOD: I give you this as a sign that I will never destroy the world again [A RAINBOW appears] NOAH: gay |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:03
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god: go up the mountain. abraham: k god: kill ur kid abraham: yeah ok YEAH! god: wtf abraham: yeah gently caress YEAH [ashton kutcher steps out] abraham: you serious bro god: lmao |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:03
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JUDAH: O Lord, we beseech thee, defeat our enemies! GOD: poo poo, son, they have chariots made of iron. I'm out. Peace. |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:05
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satan: i bet he'll pick me god: nuh uh he'll pick me job: i pick god cuz he's god god: yessssss satan: fags |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:06
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jehu: so uh hey baal worshipers samaritans: yeah sup? jehu: totally gonna kill u guys now for not worshiping jehovah samaritans: weeeeeeaaaaaaak |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:09
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Dude with a pustule for a face: Touch me!! Jesus: ok Person covered in dog poo poo: I need to feel you! Jesus: I mean ok i guess Person who everybody was licking before he got to the front: Give me your hand!! Jesus: please crucify me now Judas: im on it |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:10
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god: im pretty loving good, all the bands im into are slick as hell devil: yeah, ok god: my shoes are cool as poo poo. i dont even call them shoes devil: I GUESS god: uh ok, genius. pick a dude. heres a list pick any of my guys devil: how about god: NOPE devil: uh god: looked ahead i win idiot. devil: but god: lets check the score.. dumbass: 1, me: a million |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:16
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Jesus: live by my word, my love for you is eternal Dude: ehhh Jesus: If you accept me into your heart, you will be granted eternal salvation Dude: ehhhhhhh Jesus: Believe in me before you die and you can play street fighter II forever Dude: im in |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:29
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Nacho Destroyer posted:Jesus: live by my word, my love for you is eternal |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:39
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conservative Christian BYOB summer camp |
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Oct 28, 2014 05:52
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Daughter 1: Hey dad, you look tired. We know the stress of mom turning into a pillar of salt, and the cities being destroyed has really been weighing on you. Daugher 2: Would you like some wine? Lot: How thoughtful of you girls, yes please! Daughter 1: Oh, you're empty, let's top off your glass! Keep it flowin' ha ha! *sometime later* Daughters, in unison: Hey dad... 
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Oct 28, 2014 06:10
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(who knew that Lot's daughters had what it takes to post to the gbs secrets thread) |
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Oct 28, 2014 06:11
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Younger Son: Hey dad you know that allowance you gave me Dad: Yeah Younger Son: I blew it all on videogames and anime blu-rays Dad: lol it's k come work for me Older Son: This is bullshit |
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Oct 28, 2014 10:01
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pharoah: lol jews |
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Oct 28, 2014 10:04
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Adam: haha yeah it mad fucks with Satan if he is like like "yo you are so gay" or whatever and youre like "lol yeah what of it" Adam: he gets a blank expressiona nd then hit you |
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Oct 28, 2014 10:49
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guys running from Sodom: yo brah, don't look back. you'll get stoned Lot's wife: 420 blaze it! *turns around* God: ayy lmao |
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Oct 28, 2014 10:53
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Bwee posted:GOD: I give you this as a sign that I will never destroy the world again |
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Oct 28, 2014 10:54
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Moses: Free the Jews, or I will visit plagues upon Egypt. Pharaoh: I thought you were supposed to be the chill slaves... |
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Oct 28, 2014 11:05
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sweet bro: nice jacket bro hella joseph: thanks bro. my dad bought it for me sweet bro: im going to kill you f*cker |
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Oct 28, 2014 11:08
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moses: so yeah, pi is 3 people: what are you talking about? moses: god says pi is 3, don't ask questions math guy: this is dumb moses: basic bitch |
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Oct 28, 2014 11:39
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 14:24 |
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ulvir posted:guys running from Sodom: yo brah, don't look back. you'll get stoned |
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Oct 28, 2014 13:12
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