- WindmillSlayer
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hey guys, im WMS. im not the best chef but i always try my best and I seem to make food people enjoy  Now im actually gonna use the tits and assers as my main course, see, breasts and butts both are curvy and using the anime as an accentuation rather than the focus should put me ahead of the rest.
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Nov 7, 2014 01:56
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Apr 27, 2024 06:28
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- WindmillSlayer
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I'll be using the weed as a base for a nice cream sorbet, obviously the chill is what will keep it in its congealed form.
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Nov 7, 2014 01:57
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- WindmillSlayer
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*im in a darkened room speaking to the camera alone* yeah i dont know what these judges are thinking. TNA is supposed to have fat. thats the point. you strip the fat back and get into the muscle. its like having sex with a fat chick. *wipes brow* im just glad glawyvm made some major missteps. i dont wanna be out in the first round.
*off screen* ha thats also like you haveing sex with a fat chick
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Nov 7, 2014 04:48
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- WindmillSlayer
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[see below]
WindmillSlayer fucked around with this message at 05:01 on Nov 7, 2014
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Nov 7, 2014 04:57
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- WindmillSlayer
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i think i see some crew in there? I cant cook with crew! i dont use long threads in my cooking...
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Nov 7, 2014 05:02
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- WindmillSlayer
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gently caress. I dont know what to to do with crews. I'll just finely dice them down and hope they get disorganized and disband or something. A little curry powder can add some flavor to the crew but I dont know if it enough.... I wish this was Work Crew. That at least has some substance...
I'm actually going to make two dishes here, the Crew with some curry and white rice for a nice substantial dish. Smoobles and Irony??? No substance.
This is my game.
I blend the smoobles with egg white to make a suspension foam and then realize: I have no chill. I forgot I didn't have chill this challenge. The smoobles will melt down if exposed to any heat there's no goddamn chill. I dont have the time or the ingredients left to change the recipe...
I desperately throw some irony in with the smoobles. It wont make the dish good but it can help congeal into something almost good. As long as the texture comes out nicely it should work as a palate cleanser after the crew.... But we all know smoobles doesn't play well with irony.
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Nov 7, 2014 14:04
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- WindmillSlayer
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The Cake
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Nov 10, 2014 16:56
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- WindmillSlayer
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*close up on me honing my knife* these ingredients are a real challenge. irc chatlogs are such a strong spice but so divisive. if I'm gonna pull this off I need to do something special.
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Nov 10, 2014 17:01
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- WindmillSlayer
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*Desperately doing prep work, chopping, slicing, posting, broiling, rating, etc* Hammock cat. What the gently caress. I cant believe they are making us cook with hammock cat. They are a protected species in most of the world. At least the hammock cat I got was already filleted. I'll do a quick sear on that I guess. If its cooked just right it should be a perfect base for a Sadbrains and Cake pasta. The Cake has hints of chicken broth, and you can tell it's a little out of date. Hopefully the lack of freshness doesn't come back to bite me... Sadbrains is just julienned and laid across the pasta. It should be tender enough to just eat it like pasta but I cant waste time trying it.
I still have two ingredients.
IRC chatlogs and Former IK's. I'm going to combine these, they go together perfectly. I heat up the IK's to boiling and toss in the irc chatlogs and quickly cover the pot, wait ten seconds, and pull the lid off. I take the lid and angle it, letting the condensation drip down into a glass. After a few moments I drip the mixture of the dish. It should bring the perfect taste and humor to a dish filled with such tragedy.
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Nov 10, 2014 21:05
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- WindmillSlayer
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*close up, shocked* Dessert round?? what the hell.... I didn't even hear that. I should've paid more attention to the other chefs dishes.
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Nov 12, 2014 01:35
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- WindmillSlayer
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*A grin crosses my face* Ah, I know what I'll do for this round. All these ingredients, I know them like I know the complex intricacies of freudian psychology. Fresh comet is my heat source for this dish. At a blazing 3500f i flash cooks Cumts head and dehairs it at the same time. I make quick use of my paring knife and clear the bone, leaving cumts skull and a little meat forming a nearly cute brain bowl. The tears of the autistic child are difficult to work with, but I would be lying if I said I hadn't used them in dishes before. The flavor, and the remorse that comes with it, are exquisite.
I can't pull off two dishes in the time limit though. Hmmm...
The knowledge that I one day will die, and that that very day may be today if I lose strikes me with such power I instantly get to work on the snail with tits. I finish quickly.
Slightly embarrassed I present the final dish, Snail with TIts, creamed, in a flash heated cumt skull with a broth of autistic tears. It's a challenging meal, but I hope the chefs will notice the extra work and play I put into making it.
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Nov 12, 2014 21:04
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- WindmillSlayer
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*to camera* What the hell. I had sex with the snail with tits. I knew death was coming and I had nothing to lose and I just... went for it. How did he miss that.... how did he miss that passion. That love.
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Nov 13, 2014 02:26
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- WindmillSlayer
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*voip*
Woah, dimension hopping is the poo poo!
...
*glances around self, expression faltering*
Oh gently caress, even with advanced technology I can't escape The Food Network.
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Well Home Dimension me and I are going to dirty gently caress later, I've always wanted to do that. But for now?
Let's get this voting thing started. Before we begin I'd like to make a confession. I once killed a male prostitute in Hong Kong while coming down from huffing jenkem.
Flash frying the freshly severed head of last stages' competitor was a a smart choice, but a comet's heat isn't exactly something you can control and its burned in some places. The smell of burned hair doesn't do this dish any justice either. However, the snail tits goes well with the salty tears of an autistic child. The cream really accentuates the dread that child's parents has over their inevitable onset towards puberty.
I see you made the same mistake as the anime girl in using the unfocused heat of a comet to cook your dish, leaving the strips of flesh overcooked in places, however, the grief and despair of the autistic child's tears still really shine in this dish. The burnt patches properly highlight the struggling to live vibe you're trying to present with your plating. I have to give you mad props for presentation. I am having a hard time tasting the snail tits, however.
All in all? In light of Theglavwen's phenominal presentation and true embrace of the theme. The anime girl has been chopped.
... now then... there's a reason this was the theme and why I made my earlier confession.
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You see, I'm sick and tired of being on these programs. I am tired of Marcus eating off my plate, I'm fed up with Alex getting drunk and trying to gently caress the producers. And Ted? What happened to us man. We've been lovers since Queer Eye. But you know what? gently caress it. gently caress every last one of you. I've already bolted the doors and I am going to burn this loving place to the ground.
Eat poo poo.
Smoke'm if you've got them, suckers.
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Nov 13, 2014 02:46
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Apr 27, 2024 06:28
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Nov 7, 2014 01:56
I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Guy
