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Weed sushi rolls presented on the finest tits and assers of the most discerning of Japanese anime cosplayers. Each will, of course, be wearing the chillest of shades. The pure chill of their auras will ensure that the sushi remains at optimal temperatures. |
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Nov 7, 2014 03:21
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 13:19 |
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Cumt posted:i put my heart and soul into the dish, i just hope it was enough to impress the judges How'd you get that red colour in your white wine and chill reduction? Is the red from the chill? I'm impressed, if so, I mean, red's usually raging, very unchill. Is that like, cajun chill? poo poo, you didn't use chilli did you?! |
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Nov 7, 2014 03:33
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Cumt posted:I cut myself while cooking but just went with it drat. Chill. |
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Nov 7, 2014 03:37
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Definitely either this guy:Quickscope420dad posted:I just empty a vase of weed onto a plate and jam a fork into it, handing it to the judges and looking at them judgementally or this guy: Theglavwen posted:How'd you get that red colour in your white wine and chill reduction? |
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Nov 7, 2014 03:44
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*backstage in glorious nipponese* 'Sorry girls, I didn't realize the judges here were so callous. Maybe they don't know you'll all be beaten by your patriarchical fathers and managers when you return to Japan, for the dishonor the judges have inflicted upon you and your ancestors. Still firm but fair, I can't fault that. On to the entrees!' |
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Nov 7, 2014 05:09
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Cooking with crews, I'm really out of my element. Never used this ingredient before. They're long. Long threads. Going to take a while I think. Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing here, so I'm going to have to cut some corners. One of these ingredients is going to have to go. I know it's a problem, but I need the time, and I've got to get something on the plate. This Smoobles meme is going to have to go. Cutting that right out. I'd never sully my hands by working with a meme anyway. Yup, this Smoobles meme isn't going to show up anywhere on this plate. So let's see. Gonna take this crew thread here, soften it up a bit, boil it then do it up with some browned butter and rock salt. Gonna make a little nest out of it. Wind that long thread all around the plate, like a bird's nest. Lemme see, think there was a label on it, yeah, Night Crew it said. Alright, so, it's a night themed dish. I can work with that. New Orleans at night, gonna get some colour, some smooth, chill atmosphere. Gonna ladle in some smooth jazz, just nestle it right into this Night Crew nest here. Mix in that jazz with a bit of smoke, a little mystery. This is shaping up pretty well. Now we'll season it with some spicy curry powder, to give it that kick of danger and intrigue. Mmkay, we can't just have pasta though, so I'll make up some meat balls. Lamb and Bison meat balls, rich and indulgent and a little wild. Stir in some more of that smooth jazz and there we go. Put those right on top. So here we go, my New Orleans Night Crew entree with Lamb and Bison mea....no, that doesn't sound good. Gotta give it a better name. Not meat balls, sounds pedestrian. Let's see, all that smooth jazz mixed in there, they're pretty smooth themselves. Yeah, alright, My 'New Orleans Night Crew entree with Smoo Balls'. Hey, wait a minute, Smoo Balls, sounds kind like that Smoobles meme. Man, after all I said about not getting any of that in there. Boy. That's Ironic. |
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Nov 7, 2014 07:10
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Looking around at my competition, I feel confident. The worthy Windmillslayer seems to have, in her enthusiasm, forgotten that this is a dessert round. Cumt's obviously knows his dessert work, but former IK's are way too volatile and dense for a soufflé, and I think he's got a few in there of quite questionable taste. As I work, some of my offscreen/backstage commentary is played, where I talk condescendingly about my chances while giving a smug look at the camera in just the way to make the audience want me chopped as the 'badguy' chef. Oooh, drumming up some drama here. There's no doubt about it, Sadbrains is the heart of this dessert. It's extremely difficult to work with, so it'll require all of my skill, but done properly it's a delicate, vulnerable ingredient just brimming with powerful emotion and hints of schadenfreud. I start whipping up this delicate Schadenfreude mousse. While the mousse is preparing, I look at the other ingredients. I'm a bit confused, they've said we're supposed to use The Cake  but they seem to have given us just Cake.  It's alright though, as they're complimentary flavours and I can use both. I'll prepare Cake, with its unique, alternative flavour, as a small cake for the mousse to sit upon. It's a bit of a flighty ingredient though, so I'll have to weigh it down. I'll add density to it by sifting IRC Chatlogs into the mix, straining them through Hammock Cat's hammock, separating the IRC wheat from the chaff, and imparting a dose of that chill, irresistable Hammock Cat taste. Now we've got a dense, groovy base for that mousse. The mousse is almost ready. Those sadbrains, while delicate, can be a bit bitter and depressing too though, so I've got to liven the mixture up. That's where The Cake comes in. I mix in those psychedelic pop rocks to give the mousse a bit more upbeat intensity, while not disturbing its 'artistic' temperament and sensitivity. Plating the dish, I realize I've almost forgot the Former IKs! No worry though, as a bit of Cracked Bo Pepper garnished over the dessert will give it a bit of spicy kick that'll really top it off. Bam. Psychedelic Sadbrains mousse layered over dense and groovy mini-cakes, topped with a sprinkling of Bo Pepper. |
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Nov 11, 2014 21:29
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*nods approvingly as the bear is done away with* Mm, finally, a kitchen that understands the seriousness of our work. Now for the anime girl... |
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Nov 12, 2014 19:38
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Here have we transcended the mortal conception of 'food'. Here in our final moments, mere comestibles become fuel not for our brief, pointless lives, but for our very souls! Now is required not only food, but art! Cumt's head must, of course, be the early focus of the dish. Delicately I remove the flesh from bone in thin strips. I'll prepare a Cumt Meat Tataki, lightly searing the tender meat then marinating it in freshly squeezed tears from an autistic child. That salty, confused and desperate taste, the bitter knowledge of a robot that will never be human, will provide the first hint of the tragedy we all know is coming. After boiling the skull so that it shines, I layer the tataki back over it, giving the semblance of hairless flesh, still clinging to bone in a desperate attempt at life. The hints of bleached skull gleaming through the gaps in its grinning rictus serve as a gruesome momento mori, reminding the judges of just how little time is left. How closely death accompanies us, even in our most mundane and every day activities. But now, now, the dish will come to life. Using all my dark powers, I summon the great comet Ia'Thncum! Ageless in its traversal of the void, its heat as fresh as the moment it was spawned in the birth of the universe! As the delicate and fragile dish of Cumt Head Tataki is served up to the judges, the heat of Ia'Thncum, our doom, will begin to lick at our mortal bodies. Eat quickly, judges, for our time is nigh! Our glorious death hovers in the sky, bringing everything into stark clarity. These are our last moments, Cumt Head Tataki, our final dish! How exquisite, how poignant, feel the despair, the knowledge that one day, this day, you will die, dance across your tongue! Feel it fire your every sense, taste it as you have never tasted anything before! Only through this, my art, my gift, can this elusive flavour truly be brought out! But what is this! Look up, judges, with Cumt dribbling from your quivering lips, look up at your end! There! Upon mighty Ia`Thncum, riding in her divine incandescence, the Great, Be-Titted Snail! That perky, glorious visage, shown only to those whose final moment is nigh! What wonder! Only now, in our final breath, are we granted the opportunity to know such mind-searing beauty! As Ia'Thncum completes its fatal mission, crashing down upon this fragile vessel we call BYOB, we can finally understand true beauty, and know that our brief, stunted lives were worth it after all. Cumt-Head Tataki, marinated in the tears of an autistic child, awash in the knowledge that one day, we will die, brought about by Ia'Thncum, Fresh Comet of The End, and finished with the final, transcendent bliss that is the knowledge of a snail with tits. ~Fin |
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Nov 12, 2014 21:41
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Let the third and final judge come forth and condemn the anime girl! Don't let the infidel Zakarian 1 rob you of your culinary trascendence! |
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Nov 13, 2014 06:53
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Cumt posted:well done Theglavwen for winning the competition and congrats WMS on getting chopped Is that what happened? I dunno, this whole thing got pretty real. Too real, maybe. |
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Nov 15, 2014 22:28
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 13:19 |
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Is it worth it if we need to be saved by Guy Fieri? Heathens? |
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Nov 27, 2014 21:25
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