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My fellow goons, when you see the name "contrapants" appear on your screens, do any of you realize that you are posting alongside a celebrity? That's right. I share the same social ranking as A-list celebrities such as Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, and for the same reasons: a famous daddy and a great rear end. I didn't want everyone to find out this way, but I guess it's time. Goons With Spoons, I am the Burger Prince. Here's an old photo of us at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade from when I was little.  Recon I like chicken more than burgers. This sort of made me the black sheep of the family. Because of this, I couldn't just ask my parents for a recipe. Using a disguise, I went to a local fief of my father's kingdom.  I asked for a chicken sandwich with cheese.  What is this? What happened to the spongy chicken and on the salty, crumbly bun? Did my parents learn to cook while I was gone!? I ran back and ordered another without cheese this time.  That's the lovely chicken I know and love, ...  and it's exactly as bad/tasty as I remember. I think I can replicate this. The Rolls  I started by making a few rolls. I used a dinner roll recipe, but added a little sugar and doubled the salt.  Mix the ingredients together into a ball, then knead for about five minutes.  If this is going to be like my parents' recipe, we can't let the dough rise. Otherwise, we'll risk the bread developing too much flavor. I made the rolls about 2.5 times bigger than they were supposed to be, hoping they would be heavy to rise.  Turn the oven on to 425°F. Oil your bread.  Once the oven preheats, cover the rolls in sesame seeds. Throw them in for 30 minutes.  The Fries Cut up three russet potatoes.  Rub each stick with canola oil, and add extra oil to the pan as well. Make sure you salt them as my family would.  Put the tray of fries in the oven with the rolls. Remove them when golden brown and delicious. Put them on some paper towels to drain. Remember to salt them again. The Chicken  I decided to go for a chicken sandwich that combines the two I had during the recon stage of this recipe. Rather than ground chicken or a whole piece, I took multiple tenderloins and chopped them up together.  Mix 2 cups of AP flour, two eggs, pepper, garlic powder, and all the salt you have left in the container on the counter.  Look at the clock on your stove again, wondering how the sun is set but it is still 4:25. Realize that it's been 4:25 ever since you turned the oven on. Take your bread out of the oven, resulting in 30 minutes of baking time rather than 10. Enjoy the happy accident because they are perfect.  Brown the outside of the chicken over high heat.   Once most of the outside is browned, reduce the heat to medium and lid up the pan.  Eat a roll in the meantime because this is taking you way longer than you anticipated.  Remove the chicken from heat when fully cooked. Assembly Slice a roll lengthwise and put too much cheese on it. I used a hunk of mozzarella.  Put it in a toaster oven set to broil.  Once the cheese has softened, add chicken.  Add mayo and lettuce. Put the sandwich together and Wrap it in foil.  Put it back in the toaster oven to simulate the Kingdom's heating lamps.  Once the whole sandwich is warmed to your liking, plate it next to the fries.  Taste It was perfect. The salty, dense bun crumbled the second I touched it, covered my hands in mayo. The flour on the chicken add just the right amount of spongy texture. The piece of lettuce was perfectly flaccid and did absolutely nothing for the sandwich. The cheese helped balance the salt, being the only ingredient not containing any. Seriously, though, it was a great sandwich. However, it is by no means ever worth spending the hour to hour and a half I did to make fast food. It's perfect for a I-feel-like-fatassing-with my-friends-in-front-of-the-TV day as most of the time is spent hungrily waiting. This can be prepared ahead of time; the part where you keep it warm until you're ready for dinner is built into the process. If the fries contained less salt, they would have been delicious. However, that would have been inaccurate. One mistake I made was, when cool, the fries were still flavorful. They just didn't have that I-just-licked-a-salty-oilslick feel of a genuine cold fry. When my father finally goes too far when peeping in people's bedrooms like the creepy bastard that he is, I run the risk of inheriting this travesty to edibility. May the King reign forever. Marta Velasquez fucked around with this message at 05:54 on Nov 17, 2014 |
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Nov 17, 2014 05:51
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:03 |
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I forgot to mention that I used this recipe as the base for the rolls.
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Nov 17, 2014 14:18
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Served on a plate instead of a plastic tray? Shameful, just shameful. 
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Nov 18, 2014 03:26
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Everyone knows the limp fries are the best fries. You don't seem to have any. 1/10 I love your family picture though.
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Nov 18, 2014 04:05
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This was a fantastic way to sneak a chickencheese into GWS.
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Dec 3, 2014 00:37
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 12:03 |
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Akbar posted:This was a fantastic way to sneak a chickencheese into GWS. It was so subtle, even I didn't notice that.
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Dec 4, 2014 23:31
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