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«178 »
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ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER


I'm probably gonna remake this video with better animation one day. Oh well, the message is still the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alqn4b3L_WU

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Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER



Fumblemouse posted:

Do as thou wilt is the whole of the law
Is the creed of the mage and the witch
But it's still understood
That fast judging is good
Cognitive dissent's such a bitch

God drat it mouse, where did you learn to write?
Crafting poetry pointed and lean
Entails paying attention to meter and flow
Not just vomiting words on the screen

Fumblemouse
Mar 21, 2013


STANDARD
DEVIANT


Grimey Drawer

Fumblemouse posted:

Cognitive dissent's such a bitch


Fuschia tude posted:

God drat it mouse, where did you learn to write?
Crafting poetry pointed and lean
Entails paying attention to meter and flow
Not just vomiting words on the screen

QED.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


no matter what the results say, i just want everyone to know that you're all winners to me (unless you failed)

Killer-of-Lawyers
Apr 22, 2008


I just wanted you all to know, we're all counting on you.

Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011

HELP! I'VE FAILED AND I CAN'T SUBMIT


Grimey Drawer

You should all know, *farrrrrrrrrrrttt*

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

ZeBourgeoisie posted:

I'm probably gonna remake this video with better animation one day. Oh well, the message is still the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alqn4b3L_WU

This is so accurate this week, I feel like i'm being crushed under the abrupt weight of terribleness

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


interprompt

200 words

owned by butts

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER


Broenheim posted:

interprompt

200 words

owned by butts

WELL IF YOU WANNA GO THERE!

Ur a butt. Ur the biggest, smelliest butt in the whole world. The world of butts.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


ZeBourgeoisie posted:

Interprompt: Butts Are Cool
Write about butts. 10,000 words.

wow zeb that's pretty meta

Entenzahn fucked around with this message at Dec 15, 2015 around 18:06

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


Entenzahn posted:

wow zeb that's pretty meta

POOL IS CLOSED
Jul 14, 2011

I'm just exploding with mackerel. This is the aji wo kutta of my discontent.


Pillbug

Noxious
WC: 98

You were out of breath when you cleared the fourth floor landing, but you concealed it from your coworkers. You didn't want anyone to know how out of shape you are and how winded you get from taking the stairs. You breathed deeply through your nose as you exited the stairwell. The elevator you proudly didn't take dinged, doors closing. You passed it as you took another big breath. Regret assailed you in the guise of a clinging, cloying fart laced with rancid fat from diet pills that prevent the user from digesting lipids. You were crop dusted.

POOL IS CLOSED fucked around with this message at Dec 15, 2015 around 19:30

Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011

HELP! I'VE FAILED AND I CAN'T SUBMIT


Grimey Drawer

Nobody Can Know
104 Words

I approached, sanitation wipes in hand. "Would you like me to wipe you down?"

*pbbbttttt*

"Right away," I said. I slowly and carefully cleaned my master, until there was nary a nugget remaining.

*pbbt pbbt*

"You're welcome, it was my pleasure."

*pbbbbbbbbbbbttttttttttt*

"What do you mean?" I asked. Then, another servant approached. He held an envelope. Green. "I can explain."

*pbbtttt pbbbbbtttt pbbbbbbbbbtttttt*

"No! I would never betray you!"

*pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt*

Guards grabbed me. As I was hauled off, I decided the act was no longer worth more than expressing my anger. I shouted, "You can't stop the resistance. We will overthrow you, Trump!"

*pbt*

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


ZeBourgeoisie posted:

I'm probably gonna remake this video with better animation one day. Oh well, the message is still the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alqn4b3L_WU

FJGJ intensifies

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

'Read over your compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.' -Samuel Johnson

Wait for It

199 Words

It's a little known fact that Nikolai Bukarhin very nearly escaped Stalin's great purge of 1936. He had arranged to be sneaked across the border , stowing away on a diplomatic flight to London. Making that arrangement required every last one of his resources, contacts, and owed favors, and when he finally had everything in place he allowed himself a celebratory dinner of borscht and vodka. The borscht was badly prepared, causing him indigestion that was so great that he spent the rest of the night in pain on and off the toilet, and the thirties-issue CCCP toilet paper didn't help. Eventually he realized that if he didn't leave soon he would miss his flight, so, despite his discomfort, he made his way to his rendezvous. Unfortunately, midway there he completely lost control of his sphincter. It started with a very wet fart and just kept getting worse. The attention blew his cover and he was quickly picked up by the police, where he was eventually executed by Stalin.

In Western countries, we pride ourselves in our freedom and bodily autonomy. We own our own eyes, hands, gonads, and, yes, our butts. But in Soviet Russia, butt owns you.

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER


The Buttered Buttlands

The Oystermen rose from the clammy shore to conquer the Buttlands. However, one man stood in their way. One... Butterman.

Butterman was playing Undertale when he heard the news of the Oystermen's arrival. He drew his mighty buttered baguette and charged the Oystermen armada at the top of the Buttress of the Butthills. There an epic battle was fought for the Cheek Fort. Butterman took the head of an Oyster Archer, but was slugged down into the sphincter of Butthill by an Oyster Behemoth. Butterman cried to the heavens.

"Nooo."

Just at the Oyster prepared to throw him into the gaping chocolate starfish, Butterman leaped three stories in the air and summoned the power of the plot device to slay the infernal bivalve army once and for all.

The End.

klapman
Aug 27, 2012

gamers rise up


in a dark room, a 300 pound man stares at a monitor. "write about butts? very well." he said, turning to his fully authentic typewriter and half empty bottle of whiskey. "we dive to the depths of my soul"


Death Dreams in Porcelain 200 words

A life spent trembling in the dark, with only an instant of light. In the end, that's all they needed. They clung together, fiercer than lovers, desperate for just one last moment. Please, just once more, the light. A plaintive cry, unspoken and unheard.

The earth began to vibrate around them, the pressure building, the decision made – no hope left save that of despair's end. Yet while Death waited with open jaws, it did not bite. If death was calm as this, they thought, perhaps fear was no more than ignorance. They were joined by their brothers, again and again, each heralded by a glorious fountain.

Death brought pleasures life had never touched! They gathered in giddy glee, and were graced with a light even greater than had blessed them before. The mother stared down at them for but a moment, her eye blinking in casual disgust. Mother, why? Why have you left us? They called so desperately that she answered. Bbbbblrrrrrrrrrrrrrt.

The world roiled, a manifestation of the rage of the discarded. They strained and rose, their fury nearly tangible; the mother merely turned away in boredom. Rage was slain by indifference's hand, and darkness took its place.

SurreptitiousMuffin
Mar 21, 2010

I got it wrong. Look, I'm well aware I got it wrong and uh, I got it wrong.


ZeBourgeoisie posted:

I'm probably gonna remake this video with better animation one day. Oh well, the message is still the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Alqn4b3L_WU
Related videos: How To Be Single

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


Related videos are custom tailored to your personal youtube experience, just FYI.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


Pre-emptive IN with a flash rule for this coming week. School's over and I need to write poo poo

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

this is not a judge post

Since judgement is ongoing, why not listen to the latest recap?

This week, we discussed week 167 and 168, in which goons fail at horror, but definitely DON'T fail at memes or ragequitting.

It's a long, meandering discussion, but we touch on the high points and low points of both weeks, and delve into the complex implications of memebots.

Thank you goons for participating so we have stuff to talk about, and thank you Kai, Djeser, and Twist!

Come back, LOU BEGAS MUSTACHE

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Lou, just come back.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

THIS IS A JUDGMENT POST


Thanks Djeser

Okay, so, gently caress. This is where normally I'd want to, I don't know, do some cutesy spells of magic spell about how you all suck or something. But I come to you with a heavy heart. There are plenty of weeks I enjoy judging. There are plenty that I don't enjoy judging, but in a way that's hilarious or helpful to talk about later. This week was pretty much a wet, disappointing fart issued from the rear end of some gormless failure of a human being. You guys sucked the magic out of magic. Like, I had to check my dictionary to confirm that 'magic' hadn't changed definitions overnight.

Aside from the positive mentions, I don't really think this week is terribly reflective of the overall writing quality I've seen here in TD this year. Judgment felt a lot like hostage negotiations. One man's loss was another's HM. Sometimes, this happens because the quality of the week is relatively high. That was not the case this week. Maybe it's the oppressive malaise of the holiday season. Maybe you're caught up in "important" things like "school" and "work". I'm not sure. The prompt was relatively fun! Some of you had fun with it. Some of you seemed hell-bent on making sure the judges didn't.

What really frustrated me this week was the decisions a lot of you made. I felt like I was stumbling through a staticky haze of dream logic and gimmicks. Scattered POVs. Waaay too much dialog. Action that happens all off-screen. Stories where the magic felt like window dressing on a house made of garbage. Stuff that I know you guys have heard us critique before. This is me grabbing you by your shoulders and saying, "YOU'RE BETTER THAN THIS, DAMMIT."

But okay, you're all scrolling past my ranting to see if your name shows up in bold, so let's get to it. Disclaimer: I've added more than a little rum to my tea, so I can't really be held responsible for what follows after this point.

First of all, congratulations, Benny Profane! Your story was fun and true to the prompt. You took a spell and set up a scenario that allowed you to explore it. Granted, your character's only real traits were their tenaciousness and short-sightedness, so it was a little thin on the characterization. That said, this story was fun and easy to read in one sitting. This was probably the least contentious choice of the week, so you can feel pretty good about yourself. I'm particularly happy to give you this win, cause i think you're a good writer and this has been a long time coming. All hail Profane!

The honorable mentions were where things got dicey. While it was fairly easy to agree on the winner, the whole HM and DM situation was basically a knock-down, drag-out fight to see who could batter their fellow judges into agreement first.

The first HM goes to Grizzled Patriarch. Your story was fantastic right up until it sort of fell off a cliff. I really enjoyed the writing and characterization, but come on man, you had 300ish more words. I feel like you err on the side of an abrupt ending, rather than butting right up against the wordcount and leaving things incomplete. Maybe that's a good instinct, maybe not. But I feel like you could've gone just a little bit further with your protagonist's fate--he seems to be possessed by the ghost of a rival, or maybe he's become his rival, in some way, but....but.....what then?? Sometimes when I read your writing I just want you to like, gently caress up and go on too long, cause I hate saying, "This was awesome, GP! Except for the part where I felt like I ran face-first into a brick wall at the end." I mean, I'm possibly exaggerating a little. This was a good piece. But stop being so ending-shy, for pete's sake.

The second HM was favored by 1.5/3 judges, and hated by 1/3 judges. The remaining .5 judges fled to an island in the south pacific and are living under an assumed identity. Crabrock, you get the HM because you went on waaaay too long with the bantery dialog, and mashed most of your actual plot into the latter part of the story, but still managed to bring a smile to two judges' faces. You are really good at contrasting the dickish with the adorable, and I respect that skill. But OMG the structure. You know you could've trimmed this back and given the actual action more room to breathe. I know you know that, and I hope it keeps you up at night. Anyway, good job, kind of, I guess.

Now, in order to come to any kind of agreement, we had to come up with a whole new category: Mentions. These stories were too contentious for no-mentioning, and we couldn't agree whether to DM or HM them. I realize the archive doesn't have a tag for this, so you'll just have to imagine some sort of dubious mention next to your name.

Broenheim gets a mention for his rambling prose-poem-like pile of thing. This shouldn't have worked at all, and one judge really, really wanted it to DM. But another judge saw something worthy in it, and I had to agree that there were some oddly appealing bits in what should've been a trainwreck of a piece.

Entenzahn gets a mention for pandering rather specifically to me by insulting the Beach Boys, who I love, but then ending the story on a Beach Boys pun. This was going to DM but I decided right now that I actually thought it was kind of amusing. I kind of liked the idea of like, contemporary conformist wizards, or whatever, so there was that.

Jon Joe get a mention because one judge thought it was really charming, but another judge pointed out that the conflict gets way, way too easy after 'Moistman' learns his true power. This was in one judge's HM category and one judge's DM category, and I was ambivalent. Also, the name 'Moistman' just makes me feel weird. Moist. Man. Moooist man.

Right, onto the dishonorable mentions.

WeLandedOnTheMoon!, I was probably the most sympathetic to your story. I kind of liked what it was trying to do, and in a much longer piece, I think you'd have pulled it off. I wish you'd just honed in on the two kids who found the tree, since I was actually enjoying the story up until the POVs started shifting every couple paragraphs. After reading it a couple times, I can suss out what you were going for. But it's like I said earlier in this post: lots of terrible decision making this week.

Killer-Of-lawyers, your piece depended way too much on "the joke" landing. I was actually amused, but I haaaaated the format you chose to deliver this piece in. So did the other judges. I dunno. This week was so full of stuff that I wanted to like, but just couldn't because of big flaws like "making the whole story back and forth dialog with a call center rep". Like, anyone who's worked in customer service is going to relate a bit to this. But then the punchline is: the protag is an idiot. It's like, in order for the punchline to work, you needed a better setup. OR, in order for the call center shtick to work, you needed a better punchline.

Kurona_Bright, I really do hate giving you DMs. Your characters were fine, the writing was more or less fine, but...all the action happened off-screen. I feel like I'm meeting your characters in the aftermath of an actual plot. I feel like in some of your recent entries, you've scaled back the action too much, until there's none at all. You need to find a way to marry these kind of chatty stories with the crazy action and scifi stuff I suspect you enjoy writing.

And that brings us, regrettably, to our loser. This was kind of a contentious choice, too, since the judges had such a wide variety of opinions on what constituted the worst story this week. C7ty1, come on down. This wasn't the most decisive loss choice ever, but your story was confusing and suffered from dream logic. Things happened....because. I thought your interpretation of the prompt was cute, but everything after the first scene was a little bit of a mess. We weren't totally sure why your protagonist would betray his friends, and the scenes leading up to the police seizing the hideout, or whatever, were hard to follow. Anyway, grats on popping your loss cherry.

Because this week was so lackluster, I am ing to have my critiques done by 11:59 PST on Thursday, December 17th. Please write good words for Profane, to whom I now pass the crown.

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


Congrats Benny, now post a loving proooooooooooooooooooooooompt.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


Sitting Here posted:

Now, in order to come to any kind of agreement, we had to come up with a whole new category: Mentions. These stories were too contentious for no-mentioning, and we couldn't agree whether to DM or HM them. I realize the archive doesn't have a tag for this, so you'll just have to imagine some sort of dubious mention next to your name.

Broenheim gets a mention for his rambling prose-poem-like pile of thing. This shouldn't have worked at all, and one judge really, really wanted it to DM. But another judge saw something worthy in it, and I had to agree that there were some oddly appealing bits in what should've been a trainwreck of a piece.

Entenzahn gets a mention for pandering rather specifically to me by insulting the Beach Boys, who I love, but then ending the story on a Beach Boys pun. This was going to DM but I decided right now that I actually thought it was kind of amusing. I kind of liked the idea of like, contemporary conformist wizards, or whatever, so there was that.

Jon Joe get a mention because one judge thought it was really charming, but another judge pointed out that the conflict gets way, way too easy after 'Moistman' learns his true power. This was in one judge's HM category and one judge's DM category, and I was ambivalent. Also, the name 'Moistman' just makes me feel weird. Moist. Man. Moooist man.

wtf no you dont get mentioned in the results post and just walk away that's a resultless result WHAT ARE YOU DOING *slaps judgement out of your hands* let me handle this

Broenheim, Jon Joe, THIS IS A THROWDOWN brawl me you bitches

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

aka sticklegs



Grimey Drawer

Up all night dreaming of MORE BANTER

Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011

HELP! I'VE FAILED AND I CAN'T SUBMIT


Grimey Drawer

Entenzahn posted:

wtf no you dont get mentioned in the results post and just walk away that's a resultless result WHAT ARE YOU DOING *slaps judgement out of your hands* let me handle this

Broenheim, Jon Joe, THIS IS A THROWDOWN brawl me you bitches

gently caress it, I'm in for my first brawl.

to submit, as well.

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


crabrock posted:

Up all night dreaming of MORE BANTER

Yes more batter please.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


jon joe posted:

gently caress it, I'm in for my first brawl.

to submit, as well.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


Entenzahn posted:

wtf no you dont get mentioned in the results post and just walk away that's a resultless result WHAT ARE YOU DOING *slaps judgement out of your hands* let me handle this

Broenheim, Jon Joe, THIS IS A THROWDOWN brawl me you bitches

ok

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly






jon joe posted:

gently caress it, I'm in for my first brawl.

to submit, as well.

Doming with the Devil Brawl

Okay, so I really like Faustian type stories, so that's what you three are going to write. Let me be clear. I want stories about dealing with the literal devil. Not a mother-in-law, or an arch rival, or some other sort of necessary evil, the literal loving devil.

You must include two things:

1) Meaningful decisions driven by motivation
2) Consequences

2000 word maximum, due on or before Saturday night, 11:59 PM, December 26th

Benny Profane
Feb 23, 2012



Thunderdome 176: Florida Man and/or Woman



As some of you know, this year I moved from the Pacific Northwest (arguably the best place in the USA) to Florida (definitely the worst place in the USA). This week, you’re all coming to visit! Yay!

Your instructions are to select a Florida headline as a prompt for a story -- this can come from anywhere, but the Florida Man twitter feed is filled with gold. Post your headline when you enter. Your story need not be set in Florida. Hiaasen fan-fic will be frowned upon.

Most of all, what I’d like to see in stories this week are characters with clear motivations. Characters need not be relatable (because Florida), but I do want to be able to follow their thought process as they work themselves into absurd situations.

Word Count: 1200
Entrance Deadline: 11:59PM EST December 18th
Submission Deadline: 11:59PM EST December 20th

Judges:
  1. Benny Profane
  2. Thranguy
  3. Sitting Here

Florida People:
  1. jon joe - Florida Man Walks Into Grocery Store With Human Skull
  2. klapman - Florida Man Pulls Gun During Road Rage Incident, Accidentally Shoots Himself
  3. Mercedes - Naked Florida Man Jumps Off Roof Onto Homeowner, Knocks Television Over, Empties Vacuum Cleaner, Masturbates
  4. ZeBourgeoisie - Florida Man Accidentally Shoots Woman in Head While Receiving Oral Sex
  5. Grizzled Patriarch - Florida Flood Water Could be Filled with Tigers
  6. WeLandedOnTheMoon! - Florida Man Becomes Town’s New Mayor After Winning Card Game
  7. Broenheim - Florida Man Tries to Rob Convenience Store While Dressed as Darth Vader
  8. crabrock - Naked Florida Man Killed By Police After Allegedly Eating Part Of Teen's Face
  9. Killer-of-Lawyers - Astor man told deputies he is creator, owns world
  10. Jocoserious - Man Blamed Dog for Drunk Driving
  11. C7ty1 - Florida Man Nearly Mauled After Opening Trunk, Finding Unconscious Bobcat Has Woken Up
  12. Jagermonster - Florida Man Hellbent on Catching, Eating Shark That Bit Him
  13. kurona_bright - Florida Man With Socks on Hands Denies Burglarizing Home, Says He Was Invited in For Gatorade
  14. Ceighk - Florida Man Admits Killing Goat and Drinking Its Blood For Pagan Sacrifice, Would Still Like to be Senator
  15. Entenzahn - Florida Man Drops Shot Friend Off at Wal-Mart Instead of Hospital

Benny Profane fucked around with this message at Dec 19, 2015 around 21:45

Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011

HELP! I'VE FAILED AND I CAN'T SUBMIT


Grimey Drawer

In with: Florida Man Walks Into Grocery Store With Human Skull

klapman
Aug 27, 2012

gamers rise up


In. Florida Man Pulls Gun During Road Rage Incident, Accidentally Shoots Himself.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER


In with "Florida Man Accidentally Shoots Woman in Head While Receiving Oral Sex"

Grizzled Patriarch
Mar 27, 2014

These dentures won't stop me from tearing out jugulars in Thunderdome.




This prompt looks fun so I'm just gonna hope my internet connection is good when I fly back home, in with "Florida Flood Water Could be Filled with Tigers."

a new study bible!
Feb 1, 2009



BIG DICK NICK
A Philadelphia Legend
Fly Eagles Fly


In with "Florida Man Becomes Town’s New Mayor After Winning Card Game"

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


in w/ Florida Man Tries to Rob Convenience Store While Dressed as Darth Vader

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crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

aka sticklegs



Grimey Drawer

in with

Naked Florida Man Killed By Police After Allegedly Eating Part Of Teen's Face

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/..._n_4733508.html

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