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  • Locked thread
Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Over 400 authors. Over 3000 stories. Over 3 million words.





Thunderdome 2012
Thunderdome 2013
Thunderdome 2014

CLICK HERE FOR THUNDERDOME 2016

hi what’s this stupid megathread i keep seeing every year?

Thunderdome is more than just a weekly flash fiction contest. However, we can’t tell you how much more, or in what way, because we’re all terrible writers because gently caress you, gently caress you, and especially gently caress you (the one in the back, almost didn't see you there) .

right that sounds good, how do i participate?

Step 1: Read the prompt post.
Step 2: Read the prompt post again.
Step 3: Make a signup post by the signup deadline in the prompt post.
Step 4: Write a story that fits the prompt and follows the specified guidelines (e.g., whatever the judge told you to do, you gently caress).
Step 5: Post your story by the submission deadline.

Bonus step: Watch the judges writhe in agony as they read your terrible goon wordsnot.

All story posts are final. No edits, no take-backsies. Once you’ve submitted, your rear end is riding the train full speed to Fistville. The judges MIGHT use lube, assuming you don’t try to sneak back in and edit your entry.

The winner of each week becomes the boss judge and chooses the next week’s prompt. They will also select two co-judges. Easy as two birds in the bush when in Rome. You’ll still find a way to gently caress it up, but that’s fine.

The judges will be there to shout at you, every step of the way.

The loser gets a free avatar!



Participants in the thread may also be challenged to participate in brawls, which are covered in detail in the second post.


im feeling kinda judgy

Ius Iudicis: Judge’s right, judge’s responsibility, judge’s law.

New judges: Read this.

Judging involves a lot of reading, writing, and being shouted at by impatient goons. Judges should be people who’ve participated in at least a few rounds of Thunderdome. Judges should NOT be people who literally disappear into the jungle when it’s their time to make the call. Judges should be prepared to offer some sort of critique for the week they judge.

Why would I even want to win, you’re asking yourself. Well. As the boss judge, you get to pretty much make the rules for a week. You are basically the Judge Dredd of one tiny bit of internet for 5-7 days of your life, which, for most of you, will be the single most impressive achievement you manage in your piddling, nugatory existences.

And finally,

quote:

Three shalt be the number of judges, and the number of judges shall be three.
Four shalt not judge, nor either shall those judging number two, excepting that thou then include a third.
Five is right out.

Please see the post below this one for information on judging brawls.




what if I want to really annoy the judges/everyone in the thread??

Good question! There are lots of ways to be annoying.

*Posting your story in quote tags. You evil heartless bastards love doing this for some unfathomable reason. It makes it harder for our nice friendly archivists to save your word diarrhea forever and ever.

*Prefacing your story with a big dumb apology or explanation. Your submission should contain a title, a word count, and a story. gently caress you.

*If you never have time to write critiques, consider NOT volunteering to judge. Critique is what keeps this perpetual poo poo train rolling.

*Derailing the thread by responding directly to critique. You can go to Fiction Advice and Discussion or The Fiction Farm to request additional critique or to discuss critique you receive in the Thunderdome thread.

*Unfunny shitposting. Funny shitposting is welcome, but are you so sure you’ve got what it takes?

*Fanfiction, unless otherwise specified, is still a reason to have your face slapped into ugly little pieces. WE ARE HUGE NERDS AND WE WILL KNOW FANFIC.

*Failure to submit means you are terrible. if you enter then fail to submit a story you should yourself on your next entry to stop your terribleness growing until it encircles the earth.

*If you goony fucks want to write your “Dear Penthouse” letters in your private time that’s fine, but so help me if your erotica makes its way into this thread I will find you and personally subject you to torments which will destroy all traces of your libido.

*Don’t be a big crybaby. Understand Kayfabe. Thunderdome is what it is because we can all come out, guns blazing, and lay down our best forums disses. Kayfabe means no one has to pull any punches in their critiques. That said, there’s a difference between showmanship and being an utter dick. Don’t be a dick, but actually since you’re going to gently caress it up and be a dick anyway: gently caress you in advance, you poo poo-brained neckbearded little Shaitans.

If you have anymore questions, consider popping into #Thunderdome on synIRC instead of blithering on in the thread.

Sitting Here fucked around with this message at Jan 4, 2016 around 21:36

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dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

on brawling by sebmojo



brawling what so someone said something mean about your personal hygiene, sex-bits or maybe even your story and your bottom lip is doing that quivery thing and you feel like you can’t go a single second more without punching a motherfucker? thunderdome has just the thing. have a seat. don’t mind the lymph-spikes, they only hurt going in.

you can’t fight here it’s the Thunderdome when two people hate each other very much, and one of them is you, you get to slap down a challenge. make it big, make it brassy; you’re slapping your balls down on the bar, try and make ‘em bounce a little.

help someone's slapped me with something help accepting brawl challenges isn’t required, but if you’re the sort to sling the poo poo around (and that’s a fine sort to be) then failing to back up your bad words with good ones will be remembered. once you’ve thrown down a challenge, and had it accepted, a brawl judge will step up just like that weird bartender in The Shining. they’ll give you a prompt, a word count and a deadline. they’ll also, and this is real important, state the . this means if you fail to submit by the deadline then you get banned. the judge doesn’t need to give you an extension.

what do you mean banned brawl toxxes aren’t obligatory, but they are expected. if you’re actually a literal secret agent and you’ve just discovered you’re parachuting into Syria in two hours time then get on irc, snivel at your judge and maybe they’ll remove the toxx from the prompt, but expect that to be a one-time mercy if you gently caress it up.

anything else?
  • don’t challenge anyone until you’ve done a few rounds, good grudges take time to fester
  • don’t step up to judge a brawl unless you’ve at least got an HM or the participants have asked you to
  • declining a random drive-by brawl is more acceptable than one with a grudge behind it. this place runs on words, and hatred, and you gotta fuel the fire

is that it yes, fight well you horrible monsters

Mercedes posted:

PRIZES

If any of you disgusting turd samplers win a week or at least for some reason find yourself on the honorable mentions list, you can get a prize from my coffers: it includes games, books, audiobooks. The list keeps growing as I find stuff to add all the time.

If you win, contact me either with PMs or on IRC with what you want from my prize list.

dreadmojo fucked around with this message at May 28, 2015 around 12:01

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Assembled for Your Convenience: The Thunderdome Archive!

Once upon a time, two Thunderdome veterans who shared a fondness for records, a fascination with statistics, and a touch of OCD conceived the greatest project ever imagined: the Thunderdome Archive, where everyone's literary shame could be displayed forever. crabrock bought a domain and used his mastery of code to make all his visions come true. Kaishai assisted him by trawling the threads for prompts, stories, and relevant .gifs. Together they still fight the crime that is data loss.

The Archive's purpose is to store the over three million words of creative effluvium written for TD to date. If you want to make use of it to the fullest degree (which includes reading the stories), you'll need an account, which you can request through the link at the top left of the page.

Note that accounts are open to participants only. If you're desperate to read about Vorpal Drones and vambraces at sea without having to search the threads, you must first shed blood.

We have graphs!




We have lists and rankings!







We have mad libs!



(Please read "Rural Rentboys," Thunderdome's most beloved classic, to understand 2015teen and to reach true spiritual enlightenment.)


And much, much more! Visit the Thunderdome Archive today!

Kaishai fucked around with this message at May 7, 2015 around 20:18

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Past Weeks of Thunderdome
pre:
Week		Title								Winner		
I		Man Agonizes Over Potatoes					Sitting Here
II		Dystopian Chick-Lit						budgieinspector
III		Check Your Cis Privilege in Swaziland				sebmojo
IV		last man in the moon						toanoradian
V		Gary Numan, Fucksticks						Nyarai
VI		VI: Week Six: It Rhymes with Dicks				SurreptitiousMuffin 
VII		The goons who lose will pay the highest price			budgieinspector (II)
VIII		Martello's Girlfriend Said, "I'm late!"				Y Kant Ozma Post
IX		Old Sex/Lawn Sounds						sebmojo (II)
X		THE DARK LORD'S CORNFLAKES					Sitting Here (II)
XI		Betrayal, by Zdzislaw Beksiñski					Jeza
XII		Hateful Protagonist						Fanky Malloons
XIII		Real Natural Horror, Bitches					Toaster Beef
XIV		You Shouldn't Be Here						Sitting Here (III)
XV		Sharp Vision Soothes Strong Reaction				LordVonEarlDuke
XVI		Oh the weave we web						Sitting Here (IV)
XVII		I Don't Know You						V for Vegas
XVIII		Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
A		Round One							Res|ults
B		Round Two							sebmojo (III)
XIX		How Deep is my Fuckin' Love					Peel
XX		Face Your Destiny						The Saddest Rhino
XXI		Welcome to My Sensorium						Fanky Malloons (II)
XXII		Schroedinger’s Nihilarian					sebmojo (IV)
XXIII		DIE FOR YOUR POETRY						twinkle cave
XXIV		Keyboard Kings							Capntastic
XXV		What They Deserve						STONE OF MADNESS
XXVI		THUNDERDOME RADIO RADIO RADIO!					sebmojo (V)
XXVII   	There is only PAIN						EchoCian
XXVIII  	Show me the love!						Kaishai
XXIX		Written in the Stars						sebmojo (VI)
XXX		We're 30 / Time to get dirty / LET US gently caress			Oxxidation
XXXI		Russian Nesting Dolls						Some Strange Flea
XXXII		Playing Angry Birds on a Derailing Train			Fanky Malloons (III)
XXXIII		The Ides of Marx						Nubile Hillock
XXXIV		No dragonshirts at the club					systran
XXXV		Pictures and Books						Sitting Here (V)
XXXVI   	Polishing Turds							Dr. Kloctopussy
XXXVII  	Professional Excellence						systran (II)
XXXVIII 	Mandatory Thunderbrawls						Nikaer Drekin, Nubile Hillock (II), and Fumblemouse
XXXIX   	Lurid & Astounding Tales of Pulp Submissions			Kaishai (II)
XL		Poor Richard's Thundervision					Bad Seafood
XLI		Get Everybody and Stuff Together				Noah
XLII		Been Called Worse by Better					crabrock
XLIII		He's Dead, Horatio						Oxxidation (II)
XLIV		Old Testament Studies with Chairchucker				sebmojo (VII)
XLV		That Prisoners Call the Sky					Fumblemouse (II)
XLVI		A Child's Garden of WTF						Kaishai (III)    
XLVII		The Rule of Three						Sitting Here (VI)
XLVIII		Sitting Here is a Lazy Stoner					V for Vegas (II)
XLIX		You Have Chosen...Poorly 					Kaishai (IV)
L		Fifty Shades of Thunderdome					Anathema Device
LI		We Told You So							Umbilical Lotus
LII		Cyberblaxploitation Anniversary					Fumblemouse (III)
LIII		The Horrors of History						Noah (II)
LIV		Petty Politics							The Saddest Rhino (II)
LV		School of a Certain Trade					Sitting Here (VII)
LVI		Keyhole Views							Didja Redo
LVII		No Characters Allowed						Zack_Gochuck
LVIII		Seeing vs Seen							systran (III)
LIX		Write Where You Live						Kaishai (V)
LX		The Case of the Regrettable Entries				Erogenous Beef
LXI		Twisted Traditions						crabrock (II)
LXII		Thunderdome Against Humanity					Fumblemouse (IV)
LXIII		Who finds short shorts unbearably depressing?			Sitting Here (VIII)
LXIV		Dead or Alive							Echo Cian (II)
LXV		Songs We Were Singing						Kaishai (VI)
LXVI		Know When to Fold 'Em						Quidnose
LXVII		Lions and Tigers and Bears					Erogenous Beef (II)
LXVIII		Once Upon A Crime						Fumblemouse (V)
LXIX		Good, Giving and Game						Jeza (II)
LXX		"And what did you see, my darling young one?"			God Over Djinn
LXXI		A way with words						foutre
LXXII		big as poo poo							crabrock (III)
LXXIII		My God It's Full of Starfish					Roguelike
LXXIV		Y Tu Thunderdome!?						sentientcarbon
LXXV		He's Not Quite Dead						Peel (II)
LXXVI		The Mystery of the Finite					God Over Djinn (II)
LXXVII		Well gee, that's certainly something				Tyrannosaurus
LXXVIII		Past Glories							Kaishai (VII)
LXXIX		Periodic Stories of the Elements				God Over Djinn (III)
LXXX		"Why don't you ask your huge cock?"				Erogenous Beef (III)
LXXXI		Chairchucker's LEGO prompt about LEGO for people who like LEGO	systran (IV)
LXXXII		Captain Thunderdome						Oxxidation (III)
LXXXIII		Comma, Noun, Verb						Kaishai (VIII)
LXXXIV		Who You Gonna Call?						Bad Seafood (II)
LXXXV		Ground Control to Major Tom					WeLandedOnTheMoon!
LXXXVI		Have You Seen My Trophy?					HopperUK
LXXXVII		Touched by a Thunderdome					Fumblemouse (VI)
LXXXVIII	The Wise Fool							Nethilia
LXXXIX		We Don't Need No Water, Let The drat Roof Burn			curlingiron
XC		Down With the Sickness						theblunderbuss
XCI		OUR FINEST HOUR							Tyrannosaurus (II)
XCII		The Great White Elephant Gift Exchange!				Meeple
XCIII		The wind is rising, so we must try to live			Meinberg
XCIV		TRULY ALIEN							Sitting Here (IX)
XCV		Inhuman Centipede						Tyrannosaurus (III)
XCVI		Free to a good home!						docbeard
XCVII		Neither Tarnished Nor Afraid					Kaishai (IX)
XCVIII		Music of the Night						Anomalous Blowout
XCIX		COME TO YOUR SENSES!						crabrock (IV)
C		The Black Attache Case						Various
CI		WAR								Tyrannosaurus (V)
CII		B-I-N-G-O							Echo Cian (III)
CIII		Pacifist Run							Entenzahn
CIV		THE VERY 'BEST' OF THUNDERDOME					docbeard (II)
CV		Book One							SurreptitiousMuffin (II)
CVI		VH1 presents: Behind the Goon[sic]				Tyrannosaurus (VI)
CVII		STAY OUT OF THE MARSH						Kaishai (X)
CVIII		The Dewey Decimal System					Grizzled Patriarch
CIX		Attack of the Clones						sebmojo (VIII)
CX		cleaning up the streets						Fanky Malloons (IV)
CXI		FOLK ALL Y'ALL							Entenzahn (II)
CXII		Attack of the Graphophobes					SurreptitiousMuffin (III)
CXIII		OK YOU ASKED FOR IT SUCKERS					crabrock (V)
CXIV		Missed Catnections						Kaishai (XI)
CXV		The Eleventh Hour						Sitting Here (X)
CXVI		Today in Technicolor						crabrock (VI)
CXVII		Tired of your poo poo						Kaishai (XII)
CXVIII		If on a Winter's Night a Fire					Chairchucker
CXIX		Oh!  Calamity!							Tyrannosaurus (VII)
CXX		You Can't Jump a Fence Without Knowing Where the Sun Sets	Sitting Here (XI)
CXXI		Pet Words							Jonked
CXXII		Bar-back							Grizzled Patriarch (II)
CXXIII		C'est Nes Pas une Nouvelle					Tyrannosaurus (VIII)
CXXIV		god have mercy							Grizzled Patriarch (III)
CXXV		Thunderdome is Coming to Town					Kaishai (XIII)
CXXVI		Auld Lang Syne							Anomalous Blowout (II)
CXXVII		DOMIN' ALL OVER THE WORLD					Maugrim
CXXVIII		BLACK METAL WEEK						crabrock (VII)
CXXIX		Those We Loved							Nethilia (II)
CXXX		Twice Told Tales of Magic and Sparkles				Echo Cian (IV)
CXXXI		At the Crossroads						Entenzahn (III)
CXXXII		economy of prompt						Fumblemouse (VIII)
CXXXIII		The Gods of Thunderdome						Ironic Twist
CXXXIV		Run Domer Run							crabrock (VIII)
CXXXV		THEY MIGHT BE FULL OF REGRET					Grizzled Patriarch (IV)
CXXXVI		Famous Last Words						newtestleper
CXXXVII		A Picture is Worth rand( ) % 1500 words				Grizzled Patriarch (V)
CXXXVIII	Aaahh!!! Real Monsters						Broenheim
CXXXIX		Well gently caress Me Then						God Over Djinn (V)
CXL		Who do you think you are?					Grizzled Patriarch (VI)
CXLI		"Three May Keep a Secret, If Two of Them Are Dead"		Sitting Here (XII)
CXLII		BUT MOM, A WIZARD DID IT					Dr. Kloctopussy (II)
CXLIII		Smells Like Dome Spirit						Kaishai (XIV)
CXLIV		Doming Lasha Tumbai						crabrock (IX)
CXLV		"You gonna finish that?"					Djeser and Sitting Here (XIII)
CXLVI		The Ones You Hate to Love					Tyrannosaurus (IX)
CXLVII		The Tragedy of Shakespeare Descending				Thranguy
CXLVIII		Gambling Degenerates						docbeard (III)
CXLIX		Thrilling Adventure!						theblunderbuss (II)
CL		Everything Old is New Again					Ironic Twist (II)
CLI		Rewriting the Books						Sitting Here (XIV)
CLII		Rhymes with Red, White, and Blue				Bad Seafood (III)
CLIII		Gather Your Party						curlingiron (II)
CLIV		Naturally Unnatural						docbeard (IV)
CLV		IT'S TOO drat HOT						Tyrannosaurus (X)
CLVI		LET'S GET hosed UP ON LOVE					WeLandedOnTheMoon! (II)
CLVII		BOW BEFORE THE BUZZSAW OF PROGRESS				Obliterati
CLVIII		...LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS						sebmojo (IX)
CLIX		SINNERS ORGY							Tyrannosaurus (XI)
CLX		Spin the wheel!							Thranguy (II)
CLXI		Negative Exponents						sebmojo (X)
CLXII		The best of the worst and the worst of the best			Dr. Kloctopussy (III)
CLXIII		YOUR STUPID poo poo BELONGS IN A MUSEUM				Morning Bell
CLXIV		I Shouldn't Have Eaten That Souvlaki				Kaishai (XV)
CLXV		Back to School							Dr. Kloctopussy (IV)
CLXVI		Comings and Goings						Ironic Twist (III)
CLXVII		Black Sunshine							Morning Bell (II)
CLXVIII		She Stole My Wallet and My Heart				Kaishai (XVI)
CLXIX		Thunderdome o' Bedlam						crabrock (X)
CLXX		Cities & Kaiju							WeLandedOnTheMoon! (III)
CLXXI		The Honorable THUNDERDOME CLXXI					crabrock (XI)
CLXXII		Thunderdome Startup						Kaishai (XVII)
CLXXIII		Pilgrim's Progress						Fumblemouse (IX)
CLXXIV		Ladles and Jellyspoons						Sitting Here (XV)
CLXXV		Speels of Magic							Benny Profane
CLXXVI		Florida Man and/or Woman					Grizzled Patriarch (VII)
CLXXVII		Sparkly Mermen 2: Electric Merman Boogaloo			Entenzahn (IV)
CLXXVIII	I’m not mad, just disappointed					Grizzled Patriarch (VIII)

Kaishai fucked around with this message at Jan 4, 2016 around 18:10

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Thunderbrawls of 2015
pre:
Thunderbrawl 122 by Bad Seafood:  Ironic Twist vs. SurreptitiousMuffin
Round 1			SurreptitiousMuffin

Thunderbrawl 123 by Phobia:  Your Sledgehammer vs. Jitzu_the_Monk
Round 1			Jitzu_the_Monk

Thunderbrawl 124 by crabrock:  Entenzahn vs. sebmojo
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 125 by Entenzahn:  sebmojo vs. Sitting Here
Round 1			Sitting Here

Thunderbrawl 126 by sebmojo:  Djeser vs. Ironic Twist
Round 1			Djeser

Thunderbrawl 127 by newtestleper:  Hammer Bro. vs. Benny the Snake
Round 1			Hammer Bro.

Thunderbrawl 128 by Mercedes:  Fanky Malloons vs. Morning Bell vs. Martello vs. Tyrannosaurus vs. Screaming Idiot vs. Mr.48
Round 1			Fanky Malloons

Thunderbrawl 129 by Fumblemouse:  Tyrannosaurus vs. Ironic Twist
Round 1			Tyrannosaurus

Thunderbrawl 130 by Maugrim:  CancerCakes vs. Benny the Snake
Round 1			Benny the Snake

Thunderbrawl 131 by newtestleper:  sebmojo vs. Maugrim
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 132 by Ironic Twist:  Tyrannosaurus vs. Benny the Snake
Round 1			Tyrannosaurus

Thunderbrawl 133 by newtestleper:  sebmojo vs. CancerCakes
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 134 by Sitting Here:  Mercedes vs. Tyrannosaurus
Round 1			Mercedes

Thunderbrawl 135 by Tyrannosaurus:  blue squares vs. skwidmonster
Round 1			blue squares

Thunderbrawl 136 by Sitting Here:  ravenkult vs. Jay O vs. Thyrork vs. docbeard vs. cargohills vs. JcDent vs. Posthumor vs. Overwined
Round 1			Jay O

Thunderbrawl 137 by docbeard:  guts and bolts vs. Blue Wher
Round 1			DOUBLE FORFEIT A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES

Thunderbrawl 138 by Broenheim:  Jonked vs. Ironic Twist
Round 1			Jonked

Thunderbrawl 139 by Djeser:  Broenheim vs. spectres of autism
Round 1			Both	

Thunderbrawl 140 by Kaishai:  skwidmonster vs. Blue Wher
Round 1			skwidmonster

Thunderbrawl 141 by Mercedes:  WeLandedOnTheMoon! vs. Djeser vs. N. Senada
Round 1			WeLandedOnTheMoon!

Thunderbrawl 142 by Bad Seafood:  Bompacho vs. Broenheim
Round 1			Broenheim

Thunderbrawl 143 by Ironic Twist:  Mercedes vs. Bad Seafood
Round 1			Bad Seafood

Thunderbrawl 144 by Obliterati:  Broenheim vs. Screaming Idiot
Round 1			Screaming Idiot

Thunderbrawl 145 by Ironic Twist:  newtestleper vs. Sitting Here vs. sebmojo
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 146 by docbeard:  Fuschia tude vs. PoshAlligator
Round 1			PoshAlligator

Thunderbrawl 147 by sebmojo:  Sitting Here vs. Ironic Twist
Round 1			Sitting Here
Round 2			Sitting Here

Thunderbrawl 148 by Broenheim:  Entenzahn vs. Jonked
Round 1			Entenzahn

Thunderbrawl 149 by Tyrannosaurus:  curlingiron vs. Sitting Here
Round 1			Sitting Here

Thunderbrawl 150 by sebmojo:  crabrock vs. Broenheim
Round 1			crabrock

Thunderbrawl 151 by Sitting Here:  spectres of autism vs. A Classy Ghost
Round 1			A Classy Ghost

Thunderbrawl 152 by sebmojo:  WeLandedOnTheMoon! vs. Grizzled Patriarch vs. curlingiron
Round 1			Grizzled Patriarch

Thunderbrawl 153 by Ironic Twist:  God Over Djinn vs. Sitting Here
Round 1			God Over Djinn

Thunderbrawl 154 by Ironic Twist:  Broenheim vs. Obliterati
Round 1			Obliterati

Thunderbrawl 155 by sebmojo:  newtestleper vs. SurreptitiousMuffin
Round 1			SurreptitiousMuffin

Thunderbrawl 156 by Djeser:  sebmojo vs. Fumblemouse
Round 1			Fumblemouse

Thunderbrawl 157 by sebmojo:  SurreptitiousMuffin vs. StealthArcher
Round 1			SurreptitiousMuffin (by default)

Thunderbrawl 158 by Sitting Here:  sebmojo vs. God Over Djinn vs. A Classy Ghost
Round 1			sebmojo (by default)

Thunderbrawl 159 by Broenheim:  WeLandedOnTheMoon! vs. Entenzahn vs. Obliterati
Round 1			Entenzahn

Thunderbrawl 160 by Thranguy:  SurreptitiousMuffin vs. Fumblemouse
Round 1			SurreptitiousMuffin

Thunderbrawl 161 by Broenheim:  ZeBourgeoisie vs. Djeser
Round 1			Djeser

Thunderbrawl 162 by WeLandedOnTheMoon!:  Entenzahn vs. jon joe vs. Broenheim
Round 1			Entenzahn

Thunderbrawl 163 by Kaishai:  sebmojo vs. Benny Profane
Round 1			sebmojo

Kaishai fucked around with this message at Jan 5, 2016 around 02:12

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Thunderdome Week CXXVI: Auld Lang Syne

Judges: Kaishai, Entenzahn, and Nubile Hillock.

quote:


Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my jo,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

---Robert Burns, 1788



The new year is almost upon us, Thunderdome. It's a time for beginnings and for resolutions, but also for reflections upon times and people long gone. What has become of those we used to know?

This week, your prompt is to write a story of acquaintances from long ago. As many as you please: a pair of former best friends would qualify, as would a group of former fellow soldiers. All of the acquaintances can appear on stage, or only one can while the rest remain in memory; perhaps some or all are dead; perhaps one turned into a hunky merman and left the other on land. Who knows. For whatever reason, these people have been estranged for years, but the bond they once shared must be important to the plot.

These acquaintances don't need to be from your own life. They're persons who knew each other once within the realm of the story. You can show them interacting or not as suits you; as long as their lapsed relationship influences the plot significantly, they don't have to meet again, but they certainly may.

No fanfiction, no nonfiction, no erotica, no poetry, and no GoogleDocs.

Sign-up deadline: Friday, January 2, 11:59pm USA Eastern
Submission deadline: Sunday, January 4, 11:59pm USA Eastern
Maximum word count: 1,300

Old Acquaintances:
crabrock: "Waves"
LOU BEGAS MUSTACHE: "Penny Puncher"
Screaming Idiot: "Like Old Times"
kurona_bright: "Stump Talk"
Cacto: "The will"
Schneider Heim" "New Habits"
Grizzled Patriarch
Bad Ideas Good: "Charolette"
Sitting Here: "Touch and Go and Touch Again"
docbeard: "Good Night, Miss Mason"
Phobia
Ironic Twist: "Crush"
Benny the Snake: "The Christmas Truce"
Your Sledgehammer: "Two Bullets"
Walamor: "Decisions"
Nethilia: "Out of My Life"
Jonked: "The Pearl"
chthonic bell
leekster: "Injury Reserve"
Fumblemouse: "Football and Fireworks"
ZeBourgeoisie
Anomalous Blowout: "When You Need It Most"
Tyrannosaurus: "Teeth and Time"

Kaishai fucked around with this message at Jan 5, 2015 around 05:10

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

HOW TO RECEIVE CRITIQUES, A THUNDERDOME GUIDE:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBqTng4c2iU#t=135s

crabrock
Aug 2, 2002

aka sticklegs



Grimey Drawer

goal: 0 wins in this thread

edit: god dammit

crabrock fucked around with this message at Jan 20, 2015 around 03:05

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


preface your stories

Fanky Malloons
Aug 21, 2010

Is your social worker inside that horse?


OP needs more swears and pictures of Tina Turner being glittery and pouting in the post-apocalyptic desert. B+, would probably Dome again I GUESS.

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


PRIZES

If any of you disgusting turd samplers win a week or at least for some reason find yourself on the honorable mentions list, you can get a prize from my coffers: it includes games, books, audiobooks. The list keeps growing as I find stuff to add all the time.

If you win, contact me either with PMs or on IRC with what you want from my prize list.

Mercedes fucked around with this message at Jan 1, 2015 around 06:28

J.A.B.C.
Jul 2, 2007

There's no need to rush to be an adult.


Wooo, a whole year to make an rear end of myself and bug the poo poo out of judges.

Happy 2015, and God's mercy on you swine.

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER



In.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


Let's all strive to write good okay acceptable above average not horrifying bare minimally digestible stories this year.

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

deleted

dreadmojo fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2016 around 21:45

Benny the Snake
Apr 10, 2012

Whose kitty litter did I shit in?


In

Edit: Happy New Year, 'Domers

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



new thread sucks
don't like it?
fight me

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


farts forever an ever amen

Your Sledgehammer
May 10, 2010

by Nyc_Tattoo


I told myself I was too busy this week, but I just can't pass up that prompt. Also, I'd hate to miss my chance to present a New Years offering to Her Royal Highness, the fair and honorable Blood Queen Kaishai. May her reign be mercifully short

In,

Thread newbies, a quick note on word counts. They are entirely optional and you should probably ignore them. More like guidelines, really. You'd do well to note that most of the winning entries from previous threads were 5000+ words long, so you should definitely base your approach on quantity. The judges will love you.

Also, Phobia: my (sort of belated) brawl entry is in the other thread.

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

What will you say when
your child asks:
why didn't you invest in
Thunderdome?


crabrock posted:

Sebmojo vs. Entenzahn

Too Much of a Bad Thing
1494 words

The bass drives me mad. Thump, thump, thump thump thump. A constant rhythm that burrows into my skull, surrounds me from all sides and beats down on me. I roll over, back around, pull the pillow over my head.

Thump, Thump.

It drowns out my jazz music and I need my jazz music to relax. The rage bubbles up inside me with every passing beat. Keep calm, I think, they can’t be playing music all night long.

I fish a pair of earplugs out my nightstand and put them in. Still hearing it. Maybe it’s just an earworm.

I snap my fingers close to my ears, and despair.

I don’t want to go up there.

I want to sleep. It’s midnight, I have to get up in six hours. Hit the gym. Do my chores. I have to go to work.

It’s probably the new neighbor from above. I’ve seen him on the hallway. Pierced kid in ill-fitting clothes, looking like that kinda loser that’s into weed and satanism. Probably has an altar in his living room.

loving rear end in a top hat.

Relax. Think happy thoughts. I imagine myself confronting him. “It’s too loud,” I say. And he objects, tells me it’s not that bad and I say, “Well, it’s loud to me. I don’t care how loud you think it is.” And he has to accept that. He’s not allowed to keep me up at night.

The music stops. Or did it get quieter? I focus. Is the bass still there? No. Nothing. Thank loving--

Thump, thump, thump thump thump.

I get out of bed, throw on some clothes and leave the apartment. Dull music reverberates across the hallway, like someone had opened a disco across the street. I move up a floor.

My fist hovers over his door. There’s a built-in window, light flickering behind the curtain. I hesitate. Get nervous. You never know how people react.

I take a deep breath.

I knock. Blood pounds in my ears. Thump, thump, thump thump thump. Seconds pass and a human troll doll answers the door, stoned out of his mind. Beyond the dubstep in the background there’s a soft chanting: “Ooooooooohhhh eeeehhheeeeehhhhhh…”

“Whaaa…?” my neighbor says.

“Uhm, can you like… the music’s a bit loud.”

“Ohhh.”

“Can you turn it down?”

“I dunno man. It’s not that loud, is it?”

“Well, it’s loud to me.”

“Come on man.”

“Just… turn it down please. I really gotta sleep.”

His tired eyes pierce me for many beats. “Whatever,” he says. He closes the door.

My heart races. I wait, stand there uncertainly, until finally, the bass fades.

Back in my apartment the music’s gone. I lay in my bed with the biggest grin on my face.

I won.

It lasts twenty minutes.

The bass comes back with force, like it had taken a breather and now it’s ready to finish what it started.

gently caress!

My heart skips a beat. I slam my fists into the mattress.

He knows I’m hearing it. He loving knows. Why is he turning it back up? What’s wrong with him? How can he ignore that?

I don’t hesitate this time.

“You again,” he says. He seems on edge, jittery. His eyes dart around. The chanting is still there.

“Look, I don’t like this either,” I say.

“You can’t keep coming here.”

“Yeah, but the bass is really loud.”

“I dunno, maybe you’re just sensitive.”

I take a deep breath. “I’m here because I hope we can clear this up between each the two of us. But I don’t need to. You need to keep quiet at night. It’s the law.”

He bows past me, looks up and down the hallway.

“You calling the police?” he says.

“I don’t want to.”

“Hold on.”

He disappears inside. The music stops, and the chanting turns to a murmur. He comes back out.

“I’m Chris,” he says, and holds out his hand. I shake it.

He jerks his other arm up.

My legs are replaced with pain. I collapse on the floor. Chris stands over me, taser in hand.

The world goes black.

#

Thump, thump, thump thump thump.

Dubstep music bursts into my skull. I roll over, back again. My hands are tied.

I open my eyes to the gritty texture of a stone altar. I loving knew it.

There’s robed figures around me, chanting, “Droooooooooop the baaaaaaaaaaaass.” Their faces are hidden under hoods, covered by the flickering shadows of candlelights.

Chris steps forward, a smile playing over his lips. “You are not going to ruin this ritual,” he says. “We’ll--”

I roll off the altar and leg it. I dash through the cultists. A burly figure clotheslines me.

I’m pinned back to the altar.

Chris hmphs and someone hands him a bowl and a dagger. He comes closer.

Oh poo poo.

I can’t die like this. Not to loving dubstep cultists.

The edge of the dagger burns itself into my neck. It gets wet.

I live. Chris steps back and mixes the contents of the bowl, takes up an incense rod and tips it in. The mixture catches on fire. It fills the room with smoke, the smell of incense and grass and sulfur.

“Stillabunt in bass,” Chris says. “Bonum Vibes inchoare.”

He repeats the phrase, his voice growing, rising above the chants in the background. The smoke fills my conscience, races through my nostrils, the nooks and crannies inside my head, the creases in my brain. I’m dizzy. My heart slows. My breath slows.

“Stillabunt in bass! Bonum Vibes inchoare!”

The rhythm slows.

Thump. Thump. One per second. Thump. One per minute. Each hit comes more slowly, lasts longer, dragged out. I sense attack, decay, sustain, release of each beat. The single frequencies as they layer over one another to create noise. The twists and turns, highs and lows of each single frequency as they phase in and out, unfold along their sine waves.

The continuous signals turn concrete, series of beats within a beat, creaking like a broken subwoofer.

“Maggot,” the bass rasps.

“What?” My voice is hollow.

“You are tiny. Tiny ant.”

The voice slows, becomes clear.

“I am Vibes,” it says.

“Uh…”

“Prepare.”

My entire body is rocked by an explosion of base. My teeth clatter and my stomach churns. I’m full. Slow and heavy.

Time returns to normal and bass seeps into me from all around - the soft hum of the earth turning; the faint traces of a car door slammed close two roads down; the loving dubstep.

No…

I just want quiet.

I stagger off the altar. The bass nurtures me. Not me. Something in me. A hunger that grows with every beat.

“Drop the bass,” I growl involuntarily.

“Drop the bass,” the cultists reply.

The something in me expands, pushes my stomach outward. Every beat shatters my belly.

I don’t want his poo poo. This crap music. Why is this happening to me?

“Yes…” Vibes booms, “hate me. Despise me. Turn up the vibes.”

I can’t help it. I can only think about how all I wanted was to sleep, and get up, and get my dumb poo poo done, and now it’s two in the morning and my hard week’s work will be rewarded with these loving stoner cultists feeding me to some idiot bass deity.

“Wait,” Vibes says. “That’s enough. Enough hate.”

There’s a disturbance in the air. The cultists notice. They look at each other uneasily.

gently caress you. Look at these losers. Unemployed slackers, ruining my night, in my perfectly fine apartment that I worked for. Useless assholes worshipping a useless god. What the poo poo are you supposed to be. Dubstep god? Your dumb music will be irrelevant two years from now. It’s already a joke.

Vibes screams. It sounds like he dropped his mic. “No! Stop! Too much!”

Back in the day music was more than THUMP THUMP THUMP for five minutes. Hipster bashing his head against the keyboard. Do you get born with that kind of brain damage? Leave me out of this poo poo. Let me go home. gently caress you.

gently caress! YOU!

Vibes croaks, and my belly quivers. The bloated feeling makes way for a vacuum, sucking at my stomach.

Bass blasts out of my body. Any way it can. It fills the room with smoke and sound, blows out speakers and sends cultists to the ground holding their bleeding ears.

“Yeah! Screw you!” I yell. “And your loving music!”

I kick Chris as he spasms on the ground.

“And get a job!”

He wheezes and keels over. I don't know if he's dead. I kick him again.

#

It’s six in the morning. My apartment is silent. Just me, the birds and the thump thump thump of policemen walking above me. The noise and the stench and the bodies probably attracted some attention. Whatever. It’ll stop. And then I'll have peace.

My radio alarm jumps into action. Smooth jazz. I switch over to the metal channel.

I call in sick at work, roll over and sleep.

Walamor
Dec 31, 2006

Fork 'em Devils!


In for this week like probably many others who shamefully realized how little they wrote last year.

autism ZX spectrum
Feb 7, 2007



Fun Shoe

Martello posted:

farts forever an ever amen

Nethilia
Oct 17, 2012

Hullabalooza '96
Easily Depressed
Teenagers Edition


IN
(ugh now I have to change where my avatar points good job me)

Jonked
Feb 15, 2005

by exmarx


I'll sign up this year.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Nethilia posted:

IN
(ugh now I have to change where my avatar points good job me)

If you ask the CC mod very very sweetly they might do it.

Martello
Apr 29, 2012

by XyloJW


Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


MERC-BRAWL 8: THE NU-UH IT AIN'T HAPPENIN'



You know what chafes my balls? Getting shot down. Not getting that job you were totes mcgotes qualified for. Getting the job you totes mcgotes wanted and then fired a week later for something completely out of your control. Four stalwart domers will write about rejection, but with a caveat. Someone gets kidnapped. Last week was fantastic and different so I will continue with tradition until it starts to suck. There will be two teams of two. Each team will write about one event while each person is writing from their perspective. I will judge based on order of posting, so keep that in mind.

Here is the prize list. As per usual, you have two weeks to write 2,500 words. January 14th 2359 is your deadline. If you sign up, you will be taking a

Who are my rejectees?

Mercedes fucked around with this message at Jan 2, 2015 around 09:17

December Octopodes
Dec 25, 2008

Christmas is coming
the squid is getting fat!


Here's my homework from last thread.

Tesla's Coil 290 words

"You! Don't buy that lamp!" I nearly dropped the fishnet leg lamp as I recognized the man standing before me. It was… Me! I had lost weight, gotten beard, and from the smell it had been at least a month since my last bath.

"But. But dude, it's that lamp! And it's half price!"

"I know. Trust me, I know, but everything went wrong here. You meet the one at trivia night tonight. Her legs, her body, her personality. It's like she's your missing half. You spend the night baring your soul and exploring each other. In the morning she notices the lamp and it ruins everything! You fight over the lamp and she walks out. One month later she's on top of the world. She designed some amazing chair or something that sold in the millions. She's it, the ticket to the big time."

"But duuuude. It's great!"

Future me rolled his eyes. "Come on man, let it go. The lamp, or keeping the girl of your dreams, your job, not going to the pain of inventing time travel."

"We invented time travel?"

"Well, yeah I paid bums to be test subjects. After the first few tests they needed a lotta malt liquor to climb into the machine. Eventually I got it right. So you're not going to buy it right?"

I sighed and turned away. "Okay, but man it's such a good lamp!"

"We're making the right choice here, trust me. Now go get cleaned up for trivia night. You need to be at your best."

"Thanks future me." I ran out the door with a huge grin on my face.

"Pay up Tesla, told you I'm a sucker."

"Very well, let's go get some bitches and forties."

painted bird
Oct 18, 2013

by Lowtax


I'm in, hoping to break my streak of no-shows.

Chairchucker
Nov 14, 2006

The man was stunningly well dressed. He had a smart looking jacket, and a really neat looking cape, the lining of which was shimmering and sparkling in more than Oriental splendour, which is a great deal of splendour indeed, just ask Kipling.

Just an FYI, I have given something resembling a crit to everyone who entered my Oh! Calamity! week. They are in the old thread.

Bad Seafood
Dec 10, 2010

If you must blink, do it now.


leekster
Jun 20, 2013


I'm in.

Screaming Idiot
Nov 26, 2007

The turtle moves.


Fun Shoe

Happy new year, everyone! May your stories have words in them!

docbeard
Jul 18, 2011

High marks for compassion, low marks for survival skills





Screaming Idiot posted:

Happy new year, everyone! May your stories have words in them!

Don't, like, stifle my creativity, maaaaaaaan!

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Screaming Idiot posted:

Happy new year, everyone! May your stories have words in them!

omg stfu u blithering poltroon

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Screaming Idiot posted:

Happy new year, everyone! May your stories have words in them!

happy newyear every one

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Sitting Here posted:

happy newyear every one

your mum is a newyear (butt mum)

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

sebmojo posted:

your mum is a newyear (butt mum)

this is america we don't have mums here sorry

except your mum, she comes over a lot

dreadmojo
Oct 23, 2010



Legit Cyberpunk

Sitting Here posted:

this is america we don't have mums here sorry

except your mum, she comes over a lot

it's because you have a lot of pies (she's pretty fat, it's glandular)

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

sebmojo posted:

it's because you have a lot of pies (she's pretty fat, it's glandular)

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