Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > BSS: Bisexual Super Son > Post Funny Panels: Maximum Bogosity

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Action Jacktion posted:

Strange Tales #141:

What is going on in the last panel? Are they walking down the wall, or is the window actually a trapdoor in the floor, or something?

# ¿ Jun 28, 2020 09:29

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 02:30

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

SEX WITH AVOCADO!!!

# ¿ Jul 24, 2020 07:49

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Infinitum posted:

Oglaf is fantastic.

The best part is that this becomes an entire storyline.

conclusion
https://www.oglaf.com/gifted2/2/

Also:

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 11:12 on Jul 24, 2020

# ¿ Jul 24, 2020 10:37

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Infinitum posted:

There's actually a cameo followup
https://www.oglaf.com/gongs/

ish

He also plays a major role in the "cock rampage" arc, starting here:

:nws:

https://www.oglaf.com/vorpalblade/

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 11:12 on Jul 24, 2020

# ¿ Jul 24, 2020 11:09

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Just stumbled across this old classic:

# ¿ Jul 31, 2020 15:28

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Kennel posted:

Dying is certainly very discouraging.

# ¿ Aug 6, 2020 07:53

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Infinitum posted:

Me too Hulk

Me too

This should be in the inspiring panels thread.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2020 19:12

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

DACK FAYDEN posted:

...why would that cancel the contract? Satan just has to wait for those ashes to get buried by like, the aftermath of a tornado or something, probably with ironic timing, this is Twilight Zone 101.

You misunderstand. Getting killed cancels the contract he had about NOT suffering in hell, because Satan would take him there while still alive and employ him as an emissary. Suffering in hell is the default outcome without a contract. Also, it turns out that people in Hell relive their death over and over, so getting cremated ironically condemns him to the eternal hellfire he was trying to avoid. I thought that was a nice bit of worldbuilding.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2020 13:12

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Snake Maze posted:

This is why communication is so important in a relationship. If I ever make a deal with satan I�d definitely tell my spouse about it, and I�d expect them to do the same with me.

The tragedy is that his love of his wife is what dooms him. Satan offers to take him bodily to hell, but he insists on having a public death, so his wife can inherit his estate without issues.

# ¿ Oct 23, 2020 19:44

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Worst X-Man Ever #5

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Oct 31, 2020

# ¿ Oct 31, 2020 17:07

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Skwirl posted:

When's the last time we saw Joseph, I wonder if he's on Krakoa. He's done enough to differentiate himself from Magneto I'd think he'd count as a separate person.

Uncanny X-Men #16

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Nov 2, 2020

# ¿ Nov 2, 2020 22:13

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Retro Futurist posted:

I think it's important to point out that his power isn't to then reform or make explosions or anything, literally just he can explode. Once.

Bro Dad posted:

Empyre: X-Men #4

Explodey-Boy meets his resurrected form:

From the inspiring panels thread.

They apparently made an Earth-616 version of him, just so he could have a heroic moment.

# ¿ Nov 3, 2020 19:44

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Darthemed posted:

X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever #1 (2016)

The worst x-man ever tries out for the various x-teams:

X-Men: Worst X-Man Ever #2 (2016)

# ¿ Nov 14, 2020 11:19

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Darthemed posted:

Alpha: Big Time #0.1 (2013)

Worst X-Man Ever #3

# ¿ Nov 25, 2020 18:27

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superboy #136 (1967)

Oh, no, who will save us!

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Dec 2, 2020

# ¿ Dec 2, 2020 18:31

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Sam & Max: Freelance Police

# ¿ Dec 8, 2020 18:26

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

This thread needs more European comics!

Asterix in Switzerland.

I was so dissapointed when I grew up and learned that real orgies are nothing like this.

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Dec 15, 2020

# ¿ Dec 15, 2020 18:45

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Maybe it's just me, but I always found the idea of an evil accountant who wears a business suit under his supervillain armor to be hilarious. The old G.I. Joe comics had some really interesting world-building.

# ¿ Dec 25, 2020 13:20

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #5 (1982)

Can you help the Cobra marching band find the G.I. Joe tank?

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 20:04 on Dec 30, 2020

# ¿ Dec 30, 2020 19:42

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #10 (1982)

Snake-Eyes really doesn't like apples, I guess.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2021 08:29

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Bucnasti posted:

I remember reading this as a kid and wondering why Snake Eyes hated apples.
Those early GI Joe comics were way weird.

My favourite part is Cobra Commander himself having no idea what the point is and just letting his subordinates do whatever. A good leader doesn't micromanage.

# ¿ Jan 16, 2021 09:42

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Pastry of the Year posted:

I don't know if you're joking or not, but that's not what's happening. The brain-wave scanner, every time it's used on someone new, has to learn that person's mental vocabulary, so to speak - which brain patterns correspond to real-world images and ideas and so on. So it's basically just reading a picture dictionary at him very quickly.

It's also very painful to be in the scanner, which is why he looks so aggrieved by apples.

Yes, I know that's what they are doing, but subsequent panels show him in the machine without the pained expression. Compare and contrast:

He is clearly reacting to the presence of the apple :eng101:

.

Yes, I am joking

# ¿ Jan 16, 2021 17:25

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

https://ifdb.tads.org/viewgame?id=lb2hf5pqx68wbqhh

Reminds me classic IF game "Conan Kill Everything".

# ¿ Jan 28, 2021 13:26

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Yardbomb posted:

Listen, I just want a Kingdom Come movie complete with Shazam's huge dick looming over Superman looking square on in distress right in the center of the shot multiple times, if the movie has to be rated R then god wills it.

From the Online Creators thread. I like the implication that Superman thinks of Marvel's package as "Armageddon".

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Feb 3, 2021

# ¿ Feb 3, 2021 16:04

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superboy #136 (1967)

# ¿ Feb 7, 2021 15:13

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

What the hell, let's have just one more ridiculous canine superhero:

Superboy #136 (1967)

I could post this entire issue, but I should probably stop now.

Bring back the Space Canine Patrol Agents!

# ¿ Feb 7, 2021 20:57

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

davidspackage posted:

That's kind of horrifying, but going by the last panel he's capable of retracting his tusk?

Yes, it's definitely retractable. You see him at the table in my previous post:

SimonChris posted:

Superboy #136 (1967)

Oh, no, who will save us!

Edit: Oh, and he explicitly states it in a previous panel:

gimme the GOD drat candy posted:

that must be one unsettling prophecy.

Nah, the prophecy is just that a "Hound" will save them. Notice that they are lying on top of a big block of kryptonite.

The SCPA are too busy goofing off and doing dog stuff to help, so they end up being saved by a random loser who just wanted Superboy's autograph. An autograph hound, get it?

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 08:54 on Feb 8, 2021

# ¿ Feb 8, 2021 08:40

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Darthemed posted:

Incredible Science Fiction #11 (1995)

Sandman #18 (1990)

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Feb 15, 2021

# ¿ Feb 15, 2021 19:31

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superboy #136 (1967)

# ¿ Feb 15, 2021 20:46

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Superboy #136 (1967)

These dogs have the lamest powers, and I do not say that lightly. Ten-Eyed Man and Armless Tiger Man could kick their asses.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2021 17:54

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

John Dyne posted:

I had to find out if they have ever been used in a more modern setting because I was getting this feeling that I've seen them in a more recent cartoon and, of course, there is a loving Wiki for all things Krypto..

..and it looks like absolute dog poo poo.

Scooby-Doo! Team-Up #36

They also did a crossover with Scooby Doo!

# ¿ Feb 21, 2021 18:19

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Dareon posted:

It really says something that the villainous cat team is more cohesive and interesting than the SCPA.

Partially it says I'm a cat person, but still.

I like how even the writers can't think of any use for Tusky Husky's "power", so he just stands there.

Anyway, speaking of Ten-Eyed Man, this is an old classic from Seanbaby.com, but now with much higher resolution!

Batman #226

Man-Bat #2

He can see with his fingers, which makes him one of the most dangerous criminals in the world because

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 19:59 on Feb 21, 2021

# ¿ Feb 21, 2021 19:56

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Toshimo posted:

Can you imagine being him and having to wipe your rear end?

Well, they keep his hands in the box at all times, so I guess the guard does it for him?

# ¿ Feb 21, 2021 20:43

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

The Question IRL posted:

So this is where the Omegaverse started.

As for those super villain cats, they have to be like the pets of Supervillains, right?

Like Captain Cold dressed his cat up like a stereotypical French person and made him his own freeze ray?

I am not sure about those cats specifically, but they do fight the pets of evil kryptonians, as I posted earlier:

SimonChris posted:

Superboy #136 (1967)

# ¿ Feb 22, 2021 17:58

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Drakyn posted:

I like cats and dogs and these characters and their awful, awful little clubhouse are starting to make me hate dogs. I beg of you, can someone please post something with a good dog in it that isn't some sort of garbage animal like these bastards. I don't want to hate dogs.

Namor may not like the dog, but it seems fine to me.

# ¿ Feb 22, 2021 20:04

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Esplanade posted:

I like how the other dogs' reaction seems to be "BALL!"

They do love balloons!

Superboy #136 (1967)

# ¿ Feb 25, 2021 16:24

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

nine-gear crow posted:

Also, I'm not watching the #SnyderCut, but I can be drat certain that it will not include any scenes of Darkseid just casually chilling in someone's living room just waiting for them to get home and discover him there as a means of starting a menacing conversation with them:

From the Online Creators thread. I've always loved that kind of scene myself. Does anyone have some good examples with other villains?

# ¿ Feb 26, 2021 08:59

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Darthemed posted:

Quasar #11 (1990)

Why does the portal have huge eyes and a beak with teeth? It looks way too pleased by this whole thing.

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 21:46 on Mar 5, 2021

# ¿ Mar 5, 2021 21:43

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero #7 (1983)

The best part is that the Iranians aren't the bad guys in this story, or even part of it very much. They just slaughter a random border patrol while looking for Cobra.

SimonChris fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Mar 7, 2021

# ¿ Mar 7, 2021 20:57

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# ¿ Apr 26, 2024 02:30

SimonChris: Apr 24, 2008; The Baron's daughter is missing, and you are the man to find her. No problem. With your inexhaustible arsenal of hard-boiled similes, there is nothing you can't handle.; Grimey Drawer

Makes you wonder how she ever got her eyesight back.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2021 09:48

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