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Spicy Guacamole posted:Had to borrow this thread from the next unit over, so don't gently caress it up too badly, we gotta give this poo poo back. gently caress this. We're doing a controlled exchange on our deadlined posts, annotating it on a manual dispatch, and not sending it in on the rollup until after they rotate back.
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Feb 2, 2015 18:39
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For some reason my HRC profile is saying that my service obligation ends in November of this year. Best news I've received all week.
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Feb 5, 2015 19:45
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How come people never come up with believable military stories, like jacking off in a squatashitter or running into a bunker during IDF to find two Poles banging. Or really anything involving poo poo. In fact, any time someone tells an Army story that doesn't incorporate feces or masturbation in some way, I'm immediately suspicious.
psydude fucked around with this message at 13:33 on Feb 6, 2015 |
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Feb 6, 2015 13:30
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This is the best Army thread in years.
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Feb 8, 2015 18:38
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So about halfway through my deployment I got sent down to this lovely little FOB to help close it down. A couple of weeks after I arrived, the locals manning our sewage trucks walked off the job due to some contractual issues, and the DFAC and all the showers, laundry, and latrines got shut down because the septic tank was overflowing. After like 6 days we got tired of eating MREs (although, to be fair, it did prevent us from making GBS threads as much) and I brokered a deal with the FOB S4 to buy two goats and some vegetables from the head manager of the local national security guards. One of the E5s in my platoon was a professional butcher back in the states, so he cut it up for us and we had a nice little cookout using a bunch of HT pallets we found. The next day, the FOB mayor finally got fed up with having to stand in a portajohn to take a poo poo on top of a growing mountain of poo poo popping out of the top of the seat and asked me if we could run a pipe that the SF dudes had somehow procured through the wall and down into the cesspool, which was like right behind the FOB. The idea was that we could just train a bunch of Joes to pump poo poo directly into the pipe instead of having to pay LNs to haul it around the outside to the cesspool. So I walk up onto this defilade position with my rangefinder to do a quick site survey, and as I'm looking out, I see the local goat herder walking his goats down to the cesspool. They jump in and start woofing it down like some kind of poo poo smoothie, and just generally rolling around it in and having a good ol' goat time. We bought two more goats a week later and ate the gently caress out of them anyway.
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Feb 9, 2015 01:40
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Only two things in the military are certain: dick art and dysentery. No matter how much you wash your hands, you will always wind up spraying liquid hellfire out of your rear end.
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Feb 9, 2015 13:35
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Haha, speaking of, our old CO is spreading a bunch of bullshit accusing all of the officers and SNCOs hooking up with E4s during the deployment. He even went so far as to claim that one soldier is pregnant and that it was one of the PL's. In the civilian world, this would be a goldmine sexual harassment lawsuit. In the Army, it'll get brushed under the rug by the SHARP office.
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Feb 9, 2015 17:08
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Booblord Zagats posted:Yo Army , are dudes constantly talking about going 18X because they're too hardcore for (MOS goes here) your version of our loving ammo techs and water-dogs who won't shut up about their MARSOC application? Oftentimes they're POGs who've played too much Call of Duty and go to see American Sniper and then think that being a badass is as easy a completing a few training missions and then rocking a sweet beard.
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Feb 9, 2015 23:49
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LeoMarr posted:I just want to be back in the Army and be Infantry. It's all I know and I don't go a day without thinking about going back. They could pay me in pyrite and I would still stay in forever Yeah man I'm sure going to JRTC and NTC for months at a time and doing gay ruck marches in garrison while singing about killing commies in TYOOL 2015 will fill that niche. If you want adventure, go work on a loving fishing boat in Alaska or something. You'll face more danger, be better compensated, and have more interesting stories than a Joe stationed a Hood. You're already an honorably discharged veteran with a DD-214, why are you itching to waste another 4 years of your time putting up with retardation so that a few SNCOs and officers can boost their worthless careers?
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Feb 10, 2015 04:41
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idgi is this some sort of reference that I'm not aware of? Because I only follow scandals for O6 and up.
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Feb 12, 2015 03:45
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terre packet posted:How's the BEQ on Yongsan? I report there this summer and am very much looking forward to being like one of like 15 total Marines in Seoul. The proper pronunciation is sarnt.
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Feb 18, 2015 03:49
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Does anyone actually call their PSG "smoke" anymore? I think I heard some gay ADA people using it, but I'm not sure.
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Feb 18, 2015 15:36
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While officers do love them some lying and cheating, and the article does specifically make mention of the crushing bureaucracy, it still doesn't really do a good job of differentiating between outright lying and massaging the truth in order to get things done. Imagine trying to follow every regulation to the T when it comes to trying to maintain 10 year old equipment in theater. Everyone's done sketchy "controlled exchanges," manual dispatches, and worked with the XO and motor sergeant to paint a creative picture of the truth on the O2 report while forward deployed away from the BMO to avoid deadlining equipment for stupid poo poo that can't be replaced in the middle of Afghanistan.
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Feb 20, 2015 02:45
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Whipped Buttcheeks posted:Majors. Majors are the loving worst "truth massagers" out there. Major is the point where you know you're in it for the long haul, but you haven't reached the "I'm at the end of the line" LTC comfort zone. Sit in on a group of staff officers briefing a Brigade commander or higher. It's like watching ants run from a magnifying glass under sunlight whenever a section OIC opens his mouth. No one wants to give the boss honest and frank advice, they just want to avoid looking like anything short of Clausewitz incarnate. When they aren't busy angrily swatting away their various staff lieutenants like gnats, majors spend their time hiding away in their office reminiscing about the days when they had command authority (none of that S3 sort of but not really command cocktease nonsense) and desperately petitioning their branch managers and friends from ILE to hook them up with career broadening assignments so they can escape staff hell. They occasionally emerge from the battalion TOC to forage in the DFAC or Green Beans for food before returning to their natural habitat of excel spreadsheets and power points. psydude fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Feb 20, 2015 |
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Feb 20, 2015 20:08
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White Chocolate posted:You make it sound so attractive I can't wait another 6-7 years to be a major. Also career broadening assignments? What would the equivalent of that be for the reserves? Probably an IMA position with a weird DoD or other government agency, or a PFI/ADOS tour. Then there's things Contingency Response Unit, the LOGPAC, and the cyber command reserve battalion.
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Feb 20, 2015 20:40
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St. Robert, the town right outside of Fort Leonard Wood, is a major stop on the biker gang meth trade route. While I was there for BOLC, there were no fewer than three major gun battles that took place between rival gangs in various parking lots right off the main drag going in to post.
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Feb 23, 2015 13:56
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Androies posted:See some platoons try this but most of the time there's gonna be that fat rear end in a top hat who interprets "do PT on your own" to mean "eat more pizza bites and play video games" and dies running the 2 mile for the APFT and ruins it for everyone else. My PSG scheduled no organized PT in Afghanistan despite spending 90% of our time on the FOB. We found it encouraged and empowered the junior NCOs to schedule smaller group sessions with their joes where they did workouts they enjoyed with their friends, and in the end we didn't have any problems with people hanging out and doing nothing. It also helped that I had really good NCOs that took a positive approach to fitness rather than the standard "run you into the ground until your joints are grinding" technique that's oh so common.
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Feb 26, 2015 04:18
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not caring here posted:It's very easy to understand that when you take into account that someone higher ranking than you will gladly sacrifice your well being and even your life for a bullet point. I was trying to figure out a way to explain the warped mindset of the average O3/E7+ on BAF/KAF and it just made me angry so I stopped.
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Feb 26, 2015 17:10
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When I was on BAF, they actually didn't give a poo poo about PT belts or eye pro, but that may have been because we lived in the Army slums to the east of the runway instead of on Disney. At Ghazni, nobody really cared about uniform standards.
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Feb 27, 2015 01:04
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Cole posted:dude got so much poo poo from G-level leadership for that photo, along with his entire command group from what i remember. they were so butthurt that he wasnt in full uniform. Yeah but Gates himself said he was impressed so I would have kindly told all of them to suck my cock and invited them to spend the night in the patrol base the next time around.
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Feb 28, 2015 04:45
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