FEB15 Army - There's no line in the budget for a new thread.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > FEB15 Army - There's no line in the budget for a new thread.

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

TPSDude posted:

B's cleared with no charges, 214 tommorow and I'm still a corporal.

they could have put me out as a loving e-1 and it would've been fine with me.

but i got med-boarded.

funny thing about med boards is you get retired out at your highest attained rank. it's like a free article 15.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2015 01:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 17:47

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

http://www.fortcampbellcourier.com/news/article_68390840-a800-11e4-9dae-57aa3e08ac7b.html

This was one of my soldiers in 2012. We called him Nutsack for some reason. I remember one of the team leaders making him do pushups in a puddle once.

Kinda cool that I know the guy.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2015 21:17

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

not caring here posted:

How tiny was this guy, isn't fly weight like 110 pounds max?

he was one of the smallest dudes in my company. there were a few others who were comparable.

i was a pretty good soldier until i just went crazy somewhere towards the end of 2012.

# ¿ Feb 4, 2015 21:40

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Aranan posted:

At JRTC. Someone is sneaking off to poop in the shower trailers on the FOB. We apparently are close to having 24/7 shower guards.

Army poop story unfolding as we speak.

I was in the unit that would have pulled the shitter guard.

In fact I was. It was 2am and we were sleeping. Everyone slept in PTs. Dude had to piss so he went outside of the tent WITHOUT FULL KIT to take a 15 second piss and him and his battle buddy had to split night shift shitter guard in full kit for the rest of our jrtc rotation.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 17:26

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

McNally posted:

Iraq, 2009. Taco night at the DFAC at Balad. Mission that evening.

The driver of the lead scout vehicle starts to get bubble gut and requests a halt. He jumps out of the vehicle, forgetting to grab the package of baby wipes that are sitting in front of him on the dashboard. He does his business and finds that the only thing he has to wipe with is (for whatever reason) the cardboard from a carton of cigarettes. He wipes as best he can and returns to the vehicle.

About 30 seconds later, the vehicle commander calls another halt because apparently you can't wipe your rear end very well with the cardboard from a carton of cigarettes. He kicks out the driver and tells him to use the drat wipes this time.

Afghanistan, 2010. Dysentery was going around. Daytime dismounted patrol 5km in one direction.

Had a guy duck off to take a poo poo about halfway to where we were going. He came back about five minutes later. We were walking back and he was complaining about how much his rear end itched.

Let me digress: if you are on patrol with no baby wipes, you take your sock and cut it and use that as toilet paper. This guy did not do that.

Walked about 7km with a lovely rear end in a top hat.

Should have got a purple heart for that poo poo.

We also had no running water at the time.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2015 15:12

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Master Bateman posted:

Never start a story with "In basic".

In basic I saw a grown man shaving another grown man's rear end in a top hat.

That's when I became gay.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2015 15:41

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

cmdrpinky posted:

I have a brief story about a flashlight.

Our unit (4/1ID) was replacing 3/25 in iraq in '09 at spiecher.

I'm in the JNN doing some stuff, and my satcom guy comes into the shelter and hands me this surefire that he found in the STT.

He seems to think it belongs to me, but I'm pretty sure it belonged to one of the 25th ID dudes, but w/e, free flashlight.

So I used that thing almost every day(night) to walk back to the CHUs after my shift so that I don't bust my ankle on a rock or something(tm).

One night, coming off shift, I stop by the porta shitter to relieve myself.

You had to kinda juggle dropping your trousers, situating your rifle somewhere, putting your assault pack somewhere etc IOT drop a deuce.

In the midst of that process, my surefire (still on) falls into the blue water.

My heart sinks.

Between the choice of having to buy another loving flashlight and wandering around in the darkness in the interim, or confronting the horrors that lie in that blue water to retrieve my (still shining) flashlight, I opted to retrieve it.

gently caress buying a flashlight, those things are expensive man.

So I sucked it up and fished it out of there, dousing it with as much isopropanol as I could find.

but I still have that flashlight. and it still works.

not as compelling a story as:

but there you have it.

You're gross.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2015 01:32

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

LeoMarr posted:

Does anyone or has anyone tried to re-enlist after a 2 year gap in service? I have an honorable discharge and whatnot but I'm curious of the option of rejoining as 18X is still possible with the ever constant drawdown. Every recruiter I've talked to has tried to hook me into the guard and won't give me a straight answer.

i understand man

but if you don't make it through you're 11b

at bragg most likely

and then a suicidal alcoholic.

go for it, see you in the help thread in a few months!

# ¿ Feb 10, 2015 00:10

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

she could give me STDs

i'd be cool with it

# ¿ Feb 11, 2015 01:14

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

7777777 posted:

i feel like the only thing ill miss about the army is the stupid amount of 3day and 4day weekends

It was stupid how few of them I got.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2015 22:58

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

I was in A Co 1-72. It loving sucked.

# ¿ Feb 12, 2015 01:08

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Its a fascinating book. Bravo company collectively lost their loving minds on that deployment.

The very next deployment (the one I went on) they got hit harder than any other company in the battalion.

Karma??

# ¿ Feb 12, 2015 15:22

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

7777777 posted:

if you dont have the ability to maintain your fitness to the insanely low standards the army requires you should be kicked out

when i joined i never did PT on my own and the highest i ever got was a 230. when i got to a different platoon that believed in doing PT on your own i was scoring in the 280s within like... six weeks.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2015 04:19

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Androies posted:

See some platoons try this but most of the time there's gonna be that fat rear end in a top hat who interprets "do PT on your own" to mean "eat more pizza bites and play video games" and dies running the 2 mile for the APFT and ruins it for everyone else.

it was in the battalion scouts platoon. you had to try out to get in. we got treated like adults. we would get off when our work was done instead of waiting on the 1sgt to finish doing whatever he was doing. when we did ruck marches we were allowed to have headphones because we would go off post. or PL would unzip his top and usually run the entire ruck because it was at your own pace, just be done by a certain time. we were mostly on a first name basis. when we went to the field dudes would bring tents and we would do beer runs when training was done, and then we would sleep in until like 9am, fire off a few thousand rounds and just hang out for the rest of the day until the battalion expected us back. guys would even bring their own personal firearms to the range.

we were the most hardcore wannabe SF dudes you could ask for if you were infantry and it loving ruled. one of the biggest catches was you had to maintain a 270 PT score and do a 5 mile run in less than 40 minutes. i got my PT score up to 295 and did the 5 miler in 34 minutes. i would've re-enlisted if i could've stayed in that platoon.

then i got orders to korea and the rest is history.

so yeah, if you just didn't do PT you would get kicked back to the line and have to deal with all the regular army bullshit.

# ¿ Feb 25, 2015 23:38

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

LeoMarr posted:

dont forget the neon yellow belts worn by everyone in the large group

the new sergeant major of the army released a video of him doing PT with dudes at fort myer in the new black PT getup.

they were not wearing PT belts.

i was shocked. like, legit shocked.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 00:15

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

EVA BRAUN BLOWJOBS posted:

"Do as I say, not as I do."

My mom said that once. I said "but actions speak louder than words."

She slapped me and said "what did that one tell you?"

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 00:42

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 28, 2024 17:47

Cole: Nov 24, 2004; DUNSON'D

Zeris posted:

dude got so much poo poo from G-level leadership for that photo, along with his entire command group from what i remember. they were so butthurt that he wasnt in full uniform.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 01:55

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > FEB15 Army - There's no line in the budget for a new thread.