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As many of you are surely aware, Bobbi Christina Brown, the daughter of the late and greatly missed Whitney Houston, was found face – down and unresponsive in a bath-tub filled with water in a way eerily reminiscent of the death of her mother some three years ago. She is currently in a medically-induced coma on a respirator. Doctors fear she has suffered irreversible brain damage due to hypoxia and may never regain full consciousness. This is a tragedy of rare proportions, as she had great potential to follow in her mother’s footsteps as a musical artist and so partially restore the void in our collective hearts left by the untimely loss of our dear Whitney. I cannot describe my personal feelings of loss and regret of this great disaster - except to channel the shade of the late, great Sam Kinison (PBUH); who similarly suffered an ironic death at the hands of a 17 year old drunk driver- and because he would not wear a God-Damned seat belt. Well, here we go- Here’s Sam. “Well, Bobbi, I hear you screwed up a few days ago. I can’t understand why you did this, you had it ALL!! YOU HAD EVERYTHING!! AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!! You were on top of the heap, girl. You were living the American Dream that most of us can only WISH for. You had a musical career guaran-loving-teed by the tear-drenched money of your crack-addled mother’s devoted fans. You had a loving husband and a solid income from mom’s residuals so you could pursue your “artistic visions” without actually having to hold down a loving JOB LIKE THE REST OF US! YOUR LIFE WAS MADE OF loving GOLD AND YOU THREW IT AWAY!!! What? What’s that? You say you were afraid of failure? You just couldn’t face the fame? You couldn’t do justice to Mom’s legend? You thought the market for doped-up yowling Negresses was full-up? Did that stop Janet Jackson? Did you spare one thought for your loved ones? YOU BROKE YOUR HUSBAND’S HEART! HE’LL NEVER BE THE SAME! HE’LL DIE A BROKEN MAN!!! FOR THE REST OF HIS loving LIFE, HE’LL HAVE TO LIVE WITH THE MEMORY OF FINDING YOUR INERT SOGGY rear end IN A BATHTUB!! HE’LL NEVER BATHE AGAIN WITHOUT RE-LIVING THE HORROR!!! YOU HEARTLESS SELFISH WHORE!!! At least you didn’t make your Mom cry, ‘cause you know, she’s ALREADY DEAD!!! You weak-assed loser oval office, THOUSANDS OF ARTISTS SUCCEEDED WITH A FRACTION OF THE RESOURCES YOU INHERITED FOR FREE! I started out as a loving DOORMAN AT THE loving COMEDY CLUB AT THREE BUCKS AN HOUR! I LIVED OFF OF SCRAPS I STOLE FROM THE TABLES AND loving RAMEN NOODLES! I HAD poo poo, I HAD DICK, I HAD NOTHING, AND LOOK AT WHAT I MADE OF THOSE SCRAPS! And what about the millions of dollars that get used up as your mindless body is maintained on life support for years? Dollars that could have been spent on the homeless, or curing little kid’s cancers, or feeding mewling little orphans? Did you think of that, you USELESS SLAB OF MEAT!!! THE HOSPITAL SHOULD AUCTION JOYRIDES ON YOUR SENSELESS rear end ON EBAY TO COVER THE BILLS AT $1000 A LAY!!! FOR THE ORPHANS!!! FOR THE loving ORPHANS!!! What would you care- you’re BRAIN DEAD!! YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!! Whooo. Okay. That’s what about all I got to say. See ya soon down here in Comedy Hell! Whitney’s sitting on my dick right now, and when you get here after they finally pull the plug on your comatose rear end, we’ll take turns BEATING THE LIVING poo poo OUT OF YOU, YOU SPOILED LOSER oval office- FOREVER !!! AAAAAAHHH!!!” ... I think Sam speaks for us all. zimboe fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Feb 2, 2015 |
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Feb 2, 2015 17:55
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:55 |
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hi zimboe |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:01
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zimboe, you don't look so hot. What happened?
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Feb 2, 2015 18:04
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no zimboe |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:05
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Some people think I'm a cynic. I do. Dammit. |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:20
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hey zimboe |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:22
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Dont bully me! posted:hi zimboe Looke posted:hey zimboe |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:29
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welcome home, zimboe |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:29
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ahaha holy poo poo |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:30
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#yesallzimboes |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:35
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zimboe i love you. im sorry about the forums cancer |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:47
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So how do I cure this forums cancer poo poo? I can't see my own posts. I'm half blind- this is discriminationionion, that's what it is. What? I gotta give the 'Tax another 5.95? WELL SON OF A BI- You dime-biting greedy bastards. I'll pay it, I guess. You win, Lowtax. zimboe fucked around with this message at 18:55 on Feb 2, 2015 Dammit. |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:52
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Bull Runner posted:zimboe, you don't look so hot. What happened? What, you can see me? Gotta put a piece of tape over this traitor webcam. Dammit. |
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Feb 2, 2015 18:54
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zimbone hows it going
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Feb 2, 2015 19:31
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Feb 2, 2015 19:51
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everyone who voted this thread something other than 5, please go back and change your vote to 5
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Feb 2, 2015 20:18
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i missed zimboe
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Feb 2, 2015 20:21
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Sleepy Owl posted:everyone who voted this thread something other than 5, please go back and change your vote to 5 I was told my vote was the best the forum ever saw, so I'm not changing it |
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Feb 2, 2015 20:38
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DemonToadGoat posted:I was told my vote was the best the forum ever saw, so I'm not changing it
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Feb 2, 2015 21:39
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Sleepy Owl posted:everyone who voted this thread something other than 5, please go back and change your vote to 5 GoodbyeTurtles posted:i missed zimboe |
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Feb 2, 2015 22:03
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DemonToadGoat posted:I was told my vote was the best the forum ever saw, so I'm not changing it yes but just imagien how much better it could be
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Feb 3, 2015 01:10
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Stormyish posted:no zimboe go back to gbs ---------------- |
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Feb 3, 2015 07:27
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MasterCard posted:go back to gbs  i dont even post in gbs |
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Feb 3, 2015 07:31
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wow zimboe |
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Feb 3, 2015 15:41
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heh
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Feb 4, 2015 00:59
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someone please remove our friend zimboes forums cancer |
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Feb 4, 2015 23:42
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i think i can cure him. i i think i cure zimboe's cancer.
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Feb 6, 2015 05:49
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WetNightmare posted:i think i can cure him. i i think i cure zimboe's cancer. can i have it instead ---------------- |
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Feb 7, 2015 07:40
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admins please give mastercard forums cancer and reset my postcount to zero tia |
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Feb 7, 2015 07:44
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Garbage Person posted:admins please give mastercard forums cancer and reset my postcount to zero tia i queued zimboe for chemo, and mastercard for cancer, but i can't do anything about postcount
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Feb 7, 2015 07:50
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MasterCard posted:can i have it instead by the way, speak now if this was a classic byob goof, because i can still retract the request before an admin approves it |
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Feb 7, 2015 07:54
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i want forums cancer, sincerely and desperately
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Feb 7, 2015 07:56
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MasterCard posted:can i have it instead Mastercard... |
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Feb 7, 2015 07:57
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MasterCard posted:i want forums cancer, sincerely and desperately purrrrfect |
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Feb 7, 2015 08:00
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blub has wanted forums cancer for as long as i can remember.. he's the real deal. |
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Feb 7, 2015 08:53
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omg
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Feb 8, 2015 04:06
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Feb 8, 2015 04:06
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congratulations 
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Feb 8, 2015 04:35
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you did it! i've never been happier for blub |
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Feb 8, 2015 05:31
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 03:55 |
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whoa
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Feb 8, 2015 05:39
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