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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Snak posted:

Do a Two Tower's remake involving Doom taking over the Baxter Building in Parallel with Steel Serpent taking over Rand Tower.

Do the entire movie from Doom's perspective as he tries to take over the Baxter Building. Basically, remake of The Raid but with superpowers.

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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Okay, that looks better than anything I was expecting.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
I'm looking forward to Iron Fist just to see the scene where he reveals to someone how he got his powers.

"I punched a dragon in the heart"

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Or just smack him in his unarmoured jaw.

Diamondback got the Batman exemption.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Diamondback was great.

When he was off camera in the first half of the season and everyone referred to him in hushed tones because he was so powerful and frightening.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

AngryBooch posted:

The last D is for fan-favorite...

Diamondback is back with his own series you motherfuckers!

D Man.




Mentally unstable hobo who lives in a sewer.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

STAC Goat posted:

I mean, even though they presented Diamondback as a true threat I thought the drive of that second half really was "Luke doesn't really want to hurt his apparently mentally challenged insane baby brother."

It was a weak idea, sadly that didn't live up to the Cottonmouth first half.

Most shows would have held off with the "I'm your half brother" reveal until right at the end, maybe not until after the final fight.

But Luke Cage? gently caress no! First appearance, Diamondback shoots him in the tits and screams about how daddy never loved him.

Subtle it was not.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
I just want to see a man punch a dragon in the heart, is that so much to ask?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
One more thing about the Iron Fist promo:

If you have curly hair you can't be a badass.

I'm sorry, but it's just a fact.


Really, just look at this man's hair:

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 04:31 on Feb 8, 2017

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Omnomnomnivore posted:

(2) fighting in an interdimensional martial arts tournament that led to the overthrow of the Kung Fu dimension's corrupt ruler?

No, that was the first Mortal Kombat movie.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Gyges posted:

It looks more like latex body paint. Of all the things to be comic book accurate, the dragon blood burn scar that looks like a black tattoo/drawing is among the worst to choose.

I couldn't look away from his nipples and his soft, hairless chest.

Waxed chest and permed blonde hair - fear me!

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Narcissus1916 posted:

Apparently iron fist blows chunks. Early reviews are brutal.

It's the hair. I knew it.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Apoplexy posted:

It's Scott Buck. How that man got work after ruining Dexter is amazing to me.

Anyone who had anything to do with the later seasons of Dexter should have been shot into the sun for the good of all humanity.



howe_sam posted:

Here's Sepinwall take, he also says it is bad. On all levels, bad acting, bad writing, bad fight scenes.


Bad hair.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Just finished ep 7 of Iron Fist and goddamn, Danny Rand is the worst Iron Fist ever.


The Iron Fist, he tells us, is the undefeatable living weapon who stands at the gates of the City of Heaven to protect them from the evil The Hand.

In the show we see him get clowned by a business woman and incarcerated in a mental hospital, chumped with knuckle dusters by someone wearing the exact same attire as the other Rand Corp security guys he had repeatedly tangled with earlier, barely hold his own fighting two The Hand guys at once, barely surviving fighting four in a row, get cheated by the cunning leader of the vile The Hand and countless more acts of uselessness.

This is the guy who is supposed to be able to face off against an army of ninjas? He can barely tie his own shoes.

Speaking of shoes - remember the nice homeless guy who did nothing but try to help Danny in ep 1, then died and was never even thought of since? Holy poo poo, Danny was a massive smug piece of poo poo to him. Like, what the hell?


And one very special thing - in the big fight tournament, Madame Gau taunts him about not being the real Iron Fist because the real Iron Fist is a living weapon with only one purpose, to guard the gates of Kun Lun, and he could not possibly be so goddamn stupid as to leave his post and tell the head of The Hand he has left his post. He then goes and shows her that he is, in fact, the real deal and thousands and thousands of miles away from his post.

"Oh, pardon me for a moment, "she says, "I just have to make a quick phone call to our China branch. No reason. Here, you just fight this guy in our scaffolding room."


If, by the time I finish ep8, the malevolent The Hand have not sacked and burned Kun Lun and spray painted "Danny Rand is the worst Iron Fist ever" over every wall I am going to be very disappointed.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 17:25 on Mar 24, 2017

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

HIJK posted:

At the end of the first episode. I'm glad Danny found a homeless man to be friends with. :unsmith:

e: oh no he left because danny is a jerk :smith:

Yeah, Danny's whole interaction with that guy really soured me to his character - which is a bad thing to do in the very first episode. Especially for a character who spends the entire rest of the season making bad decision after bad decision.

Homeless guy - those people out there look down on people like us. They're fools.

Danny - You're right. They are fools if they look at us and think I'm anything like you. *scoffs*


Like, gently caress you Danny! And the guy still told him where to find shoes and later even bought him a free meal and Danny still blew him off again. No wonder he decided to kill himself.

The "enlightened" Iron Fist's first kill.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Guy Goodbody posted:

I watched episode 8

Claire and Colleen making fun of Danny's retarded "go to China -> ??? -> fix everything" plan was great. Except for the part where they actually went to China. They made it very clear why Danny was being stupid and going to China made no sense, but then they did it anyway?

Don't forget the plot beggar!


Hmmm, where should I beg for food? Should I go into the city? Maybe at a train station? No, I'll sit by some decrepit warehouse at the arse end of nowhere which also happens to be run by murderous ninjas. That makes perfect sense :thumbsup:


Phenotype posted:

That's what I thought we were gonna get!

I think we all did.

What we got was someone who was supposed to have spent the last decade and a half in the most brutal and effective martial arts school ever conceived, but came out as a mediocre kung fu hipster with stupid hair.



And now that I've finished the series I have this to say:


Danny Rand, you are the worst Iron Fist ever!

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

PostNouveau posted:

Haha, his mom dies in the dumbest way. Gets out of her seat during a plane crash so she can caress her kid's cheek (not because he needed help. No he's totally seatbelted in.) and then sucked out of the top of the plane.

That part didn't even make sense.

We know that the pilots were poisoned, so why did the roof of the plane suddenly tear away while it was still in the air?


Also - the gate to Kun Lun? Holy poo poo, of all the things in the world which do not need guarding by a guy with superpowers, that would have to be right at the top. You walk along an incredibly narrow snow covered ledge halfway up a massive cliff and then squeeze through a tiny gap in the rock only wide enough to let through one person at a time.

Get one ordinary bloke with a stick to push people off, or a bucket of grease, and you're set for the couple of months, or whatever, the city exists in our universe.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
If Danny and his friend were the prized defenders of the first city of heaven - why were they always so goddamn dirty?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Everything bad which had happened to her was after Danny returned therefore Danny was to blame for everything bad which happened to her.


Literally the argument Danny's old friend was making to her.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

homullus posted:

But they paid for that snowy gate corridor, and by God, they were going to film it, and film it some more!

Still makes no goddamn sense to me - even in comparison with everything else in the show which didn't make sense.

Kun Lun needs to be guarded by the greatest martial artist in the world, one capable of not only defeating a dragon in unarmed combat and punching it in the heart, but also of using that tremendous power as his own.

But the actual path to Kun Lun?

Yeah, that involves crawling along a foot wide ledge a thousand feet up a frozen cliff in high winds and then squeezing through an incredibly narrow gap in the cliff face until you reach a canyon where you can still touch both walls at once if you stretch your arms out.

Seriously, two guys with a stick could defend that pass. Or one guy with a firehose, just knocking everyone off.


Or, you know, they could invest in a door.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

esperterra posted:

Runaways is really good so far. If nobody cares about :effort:, since I'm strickly phone posting atm, I could throw up a thread. Or should it fall into one of the Marvel generals? Is there even more than one any more?

Oh poo poo, forgot that had started.

Really enjoyed the first couple of years of the comic before it turned to trash.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Renoistic posted:

I'm on episode 3 of Iron Fist and Danny really is intensely unlikable. Didn't think it would be this bad but here we are.

He really is, isn't he?

He starts the series as a spoiled rich douche playing at enlightened Eastern mysticism and ends it as a loving moron.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Billzasilver posted:

:saddowns: don’t white power and black power mean the exact same thing

No. They. loving. Don't.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Billzasilver posted:

How long are you all going to debate if a black widow movie is possible?

There are literally a thousand spy movies to prove that it’s possible.

I still hold out hope that one day I will see a She Hulk movie which is a gritty courtroom drama like A Few Good Men but with interdimensional aliens instead of jarheads.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Should have done it more like the blind assassin from Angel.

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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Yeah, but Danny Rand drove them to suicide by drug overdose.



RIP cool homeless dude

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