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I dreamt of 7 ancient rings melted and reforged into a crown of great power. A man leant forward out of the darkness and claimed it, his face frozen in mirth as his eyes bled milk.
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Apr 24, 2015 11:14
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there are all these boxes of cheerios in my house but i dont remember buying them... i think more of them appear when i go to sleep maybe its my roommates buying them actually
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Apr 24, 2015 11:23
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gary oldmans diary posted:strange voices, walls seeming to twist and distort, that sort of thing in general milfs meddle with forces they couldn't possibly comprehend
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Apr 24, 2015 11:26
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the witch in the walls sprinkles sugar on me every night, my dreams are getting worse
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Apr 24, 2015 11:28
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These are delicious. I've been trying to eat them with some fresh fruits but bananas instantly blacken with rot, strawberries shrivel into their wild and bitter state, and the blackberries dissolved into a swarm of biting flies when I mixed them in. Anybody have any success eating these with fruit?
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Apr 24, 2015 12:13
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the bowl and the cosmos are one
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Apr 24, 2015 12:31
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When he added the seventh grain,there was silence in heaven for about half an hour. And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and seven spoons were given to them. Another angel, who had a golden mug, came and stood at the altar. He was given much coffee to offer, with the prayers of all God’s people, on the golden altar in front of the throne. The smell of the coffee, together with the prayers of God’s people, went up before God from the angel’s hand. Then the angel took the mug, added to it cream and sugar from the altar, and hurled it on the earth; and there came peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.
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Apr 24, 2015 13:22
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how is one grain more ancient than any other?
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Apr 24, 2015 13:24
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Through the darkness of future's past The Magician longs to see One chance out between two worlds Bee Happy Bee Healthy
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Apr 24, 2015 13:37
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Apr 24, 2015 14:19
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I literally can't stop eating them! Please call the police.
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Apr 24, 2015 14:21
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Has anyone else started to experience harassing phone calls from General Mills? An automated voice asks me if I want to take a survey, but all the "questions" are just heavy, obscene breathing.
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Apr 24, 2015 14:28
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Apr 24, 2015 14:33
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'No more than 5 grains inside any one box.' These words are plastered all about the production line. We do not dare trust the machines with this. They can not respect it, they can not fear it.
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Apr 24, 2015 14:43
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I held one up to my eye and looked through, but what I saw was terrifying to behold.
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Apr 24, 2015 14:45
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C̖̝̦͜o̭̪̗̲̝ͅm̺͓̺̮̬̮͓̀p̫̜̀l̻̳e͢te ̯̭̞̪̙̻͠ͅt̩̠̟͔̞h̩̦͘ẹ̰̪̹̀ ̰̳͇̬̠̜͢c͈̻̟ir͙̘͇̣̟̮͈͡ć̫̜̻̭̳͎l҉̗e̫̪̤͎ ̶̗͉̻̤̣͔C̘͝u̟t ̯͖a̫̗̝̘̤̦n̸͚͚̯d̲͎̫͍͚͈ ͈̻̬͟s͙͕̪̙̥̙a̤̣͖͇v̪e̮ ̠̫̱t͈̦̩h̩̩̲̼̻̲̲è͔̳̗ ͉͙͕͙ͅb̲̝̩͓o̦̰̻̣̝̺͘x͉̬͕̕ͅ ͟t̸o͏͉̤p̶͍̩͈̪s̰̱͖̬͙͞ ̛̬̳A͚̞͙͡N̬̘̗͈D͈ ̭̣͚̟̗̫̲͠RḘL̹̰̺̀E̞̜̹͢Á̭̠͇̰̦͔ͅS̙̰̝͟Ę͕̤̦̝ ̭̘̳̗̝̕M͍E͢ ̟̳̦̳̜̘F̡̣͙R̹̹͇̳̱̭̭͠OM̸̖ ̼̬́T͕͖H̠̻̤͎̲̲͕͡IS̞̘͎̻̺͇ ̶͍͚͉P̧̭̣ͅR̫̯̯̟̣̰͟I̳̼̦̭̮Ş̦̭͍Ò͎̟̪ͅǸ̼̞̬͇̣!̛
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Apr 24, 2015 14:54
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they told me that there was a whole lot of power in those little o's but I didnt listen. I worshipped a graven idol of angled wheat and they took my eyes as recompense
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Apr 24, 2015 14:56
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There's nothing supernatural or magical about the power of the ancient grains. They just possess technology beyond our understanding.
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Apr 24, 2015 14:57
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i pleaded with the elders of my village to abandon their idolatrous ways but they refused to obey the one true cereal. I left the town and the o's told me not to turn around, but still I could hear the screams as they were turned to pillars of spelt
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Apr 24, 2015 15:05
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America's #1 consumer of Cheerios + Ancient Grains is the sleepy colonial seaside town of Millsbury, MA, with a full 10% of all boxes being shipped there in daily truckloads along the one dirt road connecting the town to the outside world. Oddly enough, the reporter we sent to write a puff piece on Millsbury's apparent Cheerio Fever claims that the town's one grocery store doesn't carry any cereal at all, and whenever he tries to follow a Cheerios truck to its destination he always loses track of it somewhere in Millsbury's vast array of old-growth forest. We'll have more details on just where all these Ancient Grain Cheerios are going as soon as he finds the time to call us again; he's been oddly quiet these past couple of weeks...
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Apr 24, 2015 15:08
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hey not to sound like a noob or anything but how do you throw away the cereal? i want to get rid of it because im pretty sure its responsible for my nightmares but it keeps coming back
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Apr 24, 2015 15:11
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Bro Dad posted:hey not to sound like a noob or anything but how do you throw away the cereal? i want to get rid of it because im pretty sure its responsible for my nightmares but it keeps coming back According to the General Mills FAQ page: Pin the box to a willow tree by a silver spike.
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Apr 24, 2015 15:15
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Applewhite posted:According to the General Mills FAQ page: I can verify this works but don't do it with any willow tree you own or have a sentimental attachment to. The tree in my backyard is growing really weird leaves now. They're, like, strings of tiny little circles or something? I tried taking the box down but it started screaming.
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Apr 24, 2015 15:19
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loquacius posted:I can verify this works but don't do it with any willow tree you own or have a sentimental attachment to. The tree in my backyard is growing really weird leaves now. They're, like, strings of tiny little circles or something? I tried taking the box down but it started screaming. Yeah should have mentioned DO NOT PULL OUT THE SPIKE. EVER. It will only make things worse.
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Apr 24, 2015 15:21
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I grabbed a box of ancient grains + cheerios the other morning but I had a really weird dream last night, and when my infant daughter started crying in the night and woke me up I went to go check on her but she was crawling on the ceiling. I guess I was just kind of dreaming that though. I'm sitting here at work now and I have a headache the won't go away and every time I blink I hear screaming and see a brief flash of a dark dimension of some circular form hurtling through a void of visible darkness. Maybe I should try tylenol? Please advise.
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Apr 24, 2015 16:49
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Brought one of the single serving boxes to work to eat for lunch today. Opened it via the flaps on the front, but instead of cereal there were organs inside as if I'd just cut open a tiny, rectangular animal. The tiny heart was still beating, even! Needless to say it spoiled my appetite.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:24
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I thought they were supposed to be little Os but mine are non-euclidean geometric shapes. On the plus side, I am slowly turning into an immortal fish person. 4/5 stars would buy again.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:41
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Every time I try to pour the cereal into a bowl of goats milk/blood it starts to swirl and a tiny maw with a million sharp teeth forms into existence and sucks in all cheerios while a thousand doomed voices whisper vile things in my ear. I mean the box of cereal never empties but it's starting to get annoying because how am I going to get my daily fiber?
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Apr 24, 2015 17:49
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Opened a box of it, didn't find any grains inside but every time I look inside I can feel something gazing back at me and I get this weird urge to draw on my walls for the next several hours. Now there's a bunch of eyes on my walls and I can't tell if they were there the whole time or not. Was very disappointed. Went back to the store to return it only to find out that it had burned down over 50 years ago or something? Sounds like some kind of scam to trick people out of refunds, Yelp's gonna hear about this.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:51
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Ever since I clipped the box tops for my son's school the children have been eerie quiet and one class locked their teacher in the room and beat the poo poo out of her.
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Apr 24, 2015 17:52
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Anyone else ever notice that when you hold the box up to a mirror the pictures and writing aren't backward?
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Apr 24, 2015 17:56
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what a night. the wasps finally stopped and i shooed them all out of my apartment with only a few stings. when I came back in though there was something on my wall it's circular and about the size of a car tire maybe? hard to describe beyond that because if you give it anything longer than a passing glance the pain is unfathomable and you can feel all your bones contorting and trying to pull themselves out of place i really wanna get this thing off my wall but if just looking at it is that bad I'm afraid of what'll happen if I try to touch it
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Apr 24, 2015 17:56
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Moldy Taxes posted:Ever since I clipped the box tops for my son's school the children have been eerie quiet and one class locked their teacher in the room and beat the poo poo out of her. Kids these days! Mine has just started to talk, oddly enough the same day I bought these cheerios. I can tell she's trying to say "daddy" but it keeps coming out as "dagon"
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Apr 24, 2015 17:57
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apparently my stainless steel silverware has high iron content because when I dipped my spoon in the bowl the milk curdled and a high pitched keening overwhelmed me
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Apr 24, 2015 17:58
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Is anyone else having trouble with the activity section on the back? Tried to do the word scramble but all the clues were extremely personal allusions to my own deepest insecurities. Also every time I think I've got the maze figured out, I swear it changes so I can never escape. Maybe I'm doing it wrong?
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Apr 24, 2015 18:03
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now the weird circle things are on EVERY wall so I have to keep looking at the floor. and the bathtub and sinks are all filling with poo poo even though the faucets are off. ironically, the toilet seems fine? in any case i have never in my life been more dissatisfied with a cereal purchase and general mills is gonna get the nastiest email over this
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Apr 24, 2015 18:06
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I don't know what all this nerdy lovecraft poo poo that you guys are talking about, my Ancient Grains cereal is just fine. Wait a second... *looks at box* when did Post start making Cheerios? What th
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Apr 24, 2015 18:21
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i'm not saying it was quinoa but it was quinoa
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Apr 24, 2015 18:30
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at first i only ate them for breakfast or maybe a late night snack, but I soon felt myself craving them more and more. lunch and dinner were cheerios. i would wake up in the middle of the night and find myself, seated at my breakfast table, eating. i do not remember my dreams anymore, just the horror of them. faces on the street become O's and the O's are faces screaming. i do not remember my parents or my brother. i do not remember my name or who i am. i know what i must do. i open the box and prepare to crawl inside, to join the rest of them until i too eat and am eaten. but first i clip off the box top for education and mail it in.
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Apr 24, 2015 18:47
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No wonder it costs so much; instead of using a plastic bag to keep the cereal from going stale, it looks like it's made out of stitched together intestinal casings!
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Apr 24, 2015 18:49
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