Casual Discussion and Three Super Market Questions

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Scaly Haylie

ham_sanitizer posted:

if you took out your colon and uncoiled it, you'd be dead

that applies to a lot of organs though

# ? May 10, 2015 08:15

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 06:52

joke_explainer

ham_sanitizer posted:

if you took out your colon and uncoiled it, you'd be dead

actually there's no immediate reason you'd die on the spot. just you couldn't eat or digest or excrete food obviously. (it's unfortunate why this is known...)

# ? May 10, 2015 09:02

bog pixie

joke_explainer posted:

Okay, lol.

Sperm die in the colon very quickly. They are not as good at swimming as you are thinking basically. Here's a diagram of the colon.

So, remember the large intestine and often the rectum is compacting fecal matter. Basically it serves to drain water. The problem is one of distance -- The large intestine is contracting and absorbing water from whatever enters it, and pushing it slowly down. Neither condition will facilitate a mobile sperm getting up the thing. At this point, it's just sperm too: The mucous, and seminal fluid, is not coming along for the ride for sure and will sit in the rectum, inhibited by gravity and the body's general capability to not suddenly run backwards.

Anyway, they have to cross 2 square meters of large intestine to reach the small intestine (many orders of magnitude more area than they have to cover to fertilize an egg, and then they're even more messed up than before. The environment is incredibly caustic. Once they hit the small intestine, the small intestine is 6 to 7 METERS LONG. That's nearly 23 feet. And the surface area is enormous, because of little protrusions in the plicae circulares, called villi. These things drastically increase the surface area. It's nearly 30 square meters of space to cover to get to the stomach from the bottom of the small intestine, and you can see the convoluted path the sperm would have to take.

The entire time they'd both dealing with (neutralizing) stomach acid and bicarbonate injected from bile ducts (pictured)

So they're going to get killed. If not just the sheer area to travel, the villi, the constant contraction forcing them down, and the blockage by the process of digestion, there is NO WAY they're reaching the stomach; The percentage that would even traverse a portion of the large intestine could only be guessed, but it's got to be far less than one in a million. It's going into a total death trap, basically the walls of the intestines will digest the sperm, so then it's absorbed into the body well before it reaches the stomach -- or it dies in the rectum (most of it) and the large intestine (a small amount of it) and then is excreted normally like fecal matter.

I love life

# ? May 10, 2015 12:41

landy.

bye for now, enhydra

# ? May 10, 2015 14:01

Asphyxious: I'm trying to explain that I'm a person who wishes to live a very quiet life.

Don't help other people at the self scan, that is what trained professionals are for and you may teach them bad habits.

Seagull posted:

I choose to believe Asphyxious is just really dumb.

G-Spot Run posted:

did you also hate it when gaspy said the same thing with more words?

# ? May 13, 2015 01:32

tao of lmao

# ? May 13, 2015 01:50

Scaly Haylie

i can't wait for our good friend enhydra lutris to come back and post

# ? May 13, 2015 06:29

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

I hope that all of the other Posters on this Forum are well and contented; I was Distressed due to my Probation but now I have recovered; yesterday I visited the Super Market and took a Photograph of a flower that was on Display; here is the Photograph; I do not know this Variety of flower; but it is attractive. I am taking Photographs of Yellow objects; I am creating a Yellow Composition; I intend to create a Thread devoted to the Colour Yellow; it is my favourite Colour; I hope that this is not against the Rules. This flower is insufficiently Yellow to feature in my Composition; only the centre is Yellow; the Majority of the flower is white; so I will share it with you here; I hope that you enjoy it.

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# ? May 13, 2015 08:57

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

Thank You for the explanation of the Fate Of The Semen following Sexual Intercourse via the Anus; if the Semen is not Absorbed into the digestive membranes then I will assume that it is spilled onto the bed clothes; this does not seem hygienic; in fact it seems that it would represent a Health Hazard.

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# ? May 13, 2015 09:00

Scaly Haylie

go get yourself an av

# ? May 13, 2015 16:07

landy.

Lizard Wizard posted:

go get yourself an av

stop pushing him to get an av.

# ? May 13, 2015 16:24

FluffieDuckie

the peer pressure here is just awful

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? May 13, 2015 16:53

pig slut lisa: irl is good

this thread is really good idk why i never clicked it til now

# ? May 14, 2015 03:04

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

why an earth didn't fabgoons love Enhydra?

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# ? May 14, 2015 03:04

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

I'll say it right now

Enhydra Lutris is the best poster on the something awful forums

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# ? May 14, 2015 03:04

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Pomp posted:

I'll say it right now

Enhydra Lutris is the best poster on the something awful forums

# ? May 14, 2015 03:05

Sloppy Milkshake: I MAKE YOU HUMBLE

Enhydra Lutris posted:

Thank You for the explanation of the Fate Of The Semen following Sexual Intercourse via the Anus; if the Semen is not Absorbed into the digestive membranes then I will assume that it is spilled onto the bed clothes; this does not seem hygienic; in fact it seems that it would represent a Health Hazard.

you can also like go to the toilet or w/e and get it out there.

p.s. do you have any big supermarkets near your house, especially 24 hour ones? they have stocker positions that work late at night so your whole shift would pretty much just be placing product with minimal customer interaction. that seems like something you'd like + they probably don't care you're weird or w/e.

# ? May 14, 2015 03:09

pig slut lisa: irl is good

pig slut lisa posted:

this thread is really good idk why i never clicked it til now

whoops jk

pig slut lisa posted:

i did not red all the words, or even any of them. except for what julio said about secdrone that was funny..

# ? May 14, 2015 03:09

false flag post-op: Enjoy Every Sandvich

Does the song Yellow by popular artist Coldplay fit into this discussion, or is it the wrong shade? {of colour}

# ? May 14, 2015 03:29

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

Please define the Term "Chunt Load."

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# ? May 14, 2015 10:31

Sloppy Milkshake: I MAKE YOU HUMBLE

Enhydra Lutris posted:

Please define the Term "Chunt Load."

# ? May 14, 2015 10:36

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

I briefly associated the bolding with William Shatner's stilted acting and now I can't stop reading their posts in his voice

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# ? May 14, 2015 10:37

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

enhydra lutris what is your gender identity

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# ? May 14, 2015 10:38

treasure bear

Enhydra Lutris posted:

Please define the Term "Chunt Load."

i forgot, sorry

# ? May 14, 2015 10:44

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

I am a Male.

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# ? May 14, 2015 10:47

pig slut lisa: irl is good

Hi Enhydra Lutris :wave:

I saw (in another thread maybe?) that you keep kosher. So do I. Is it easy to find a wide selection of kosher meats in your town, or do you have to order it special and/or purchase it when you go to a larger city?

# ? May 14, 2015 12:03

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

It is difficult for my Brother and I to observe Kashrut; there is no Kosher Butcher or Importer in our Home Town; we order Meat Products from the Internet to be delivered to our Farm via a Truck at great expense; Orders arrive approx. once every Six (6) Weeks; Meat does not stay fresh for this Period of Time; it rots quickly; we utilise the Freezer in order to preserve it. We do not consume many Meat Products; we do not seek out Kosher Dairy Products; it is too difficult; we do not insist on Kosher Eggs; but we only purchase food made from Free Range Eggs; these Eggs are produced under humane conditions requiring that the Chickens be housed in comfortable enclosures and allowed to forage for Seeds and Insects; we also have four (4) Chickens of our own that provide Eggs.

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:14

pig slut lisa: irl is good

My wife and I in in a somewhat similar situation. We can get some kosher meat here in town, but a lot of it is not great quality. So whenever I travel to Chicago I bring a big freezer bag and pick up steaks, brisket, etc.

I think pretty much every dairy product we get is hechshered but that may be a function of living in America, which I gather you do not. It's not like we specifically seek it out either.

I would love to see a picture of your chicken(s).

# ? May 14, 2015 12:18

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

I cannot take a Photograph of Biological Specimens; the Flash will frighten them; it will damage their laying capacity; and cause them to become Stressed; resulting in Challenging Behaviours.

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:21

Iron Crowned: by Hand Knit

Enhydra Lutris posted:

I cannot take a Photograph of Biological Specimens; the Flash will frighten them; it will damage their laying capacity; and cause them to become Stressed; resulting in Challenging Behaviours.

Can you take a picture of them tomorrow while the sun is up and not use the flash?

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:31

landy.

couldn't you not use the flash for the chickens since they're (I assume) in a lighter place than the bugs?

# ? May 14, 2015 12:32

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

Inadequate Colour representation.

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:34

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

The vivid Colours of a Chicken are a crucial component of a Chicken; Three (3) of the Chickens are Chestnut; it is not Brown; it is not Orange; it is a rich warm Gold Medley; the fourth Chicken is Black; the Chicken is adorned with Iridescence; Green and Purple are evident; without the Flash these Colours are not represented; the Chicken Essence is absent due to the lack of a crucial component; namely; the Colour Shades.

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:37

Iron Crowned: by Hand Knit

Enhydra Lutris posted:

The vivid Colours of a Chicken are a crucial component of a Chicken; Three (3) of the Chickens are Chestnut; it is not Brown; it is not Orange; it is a rich warm Gold Medley; the fourth Chicken is Black; the Chicken is adorned with Iridescence; Green and Purple are evident; without the Flash these Colours are not represented; the Chicken Essence is absent due to the lack of a crucial component; namely; the Colour Shades.

Sunlight can capture that better than a flash could.

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:39

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

The most Enjoyable aspect of the Chickens (besides their Eggs; I prefer the Eggs to be poached; I like to excavate the Yolk; I pretend that I am unearthing a Treasure) is holding them; they are warm; they make soft chirping Sounds; they have small Reptilian feet.

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:40

Enhydra lutris: by FactsAreUseless

Iron Crowned posted:

Sunlight can capture that better than a flash could.

I do not agree.

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# ? May 14, 2015 12:41

landy.

Enhydra Lutris posted:

The vivid Colours of a Chicken are a crucial component of a Chicken; Three (3) of the Chickens are Chestnut; it is not Brown; it is not Orange; it is a rich warm Gold Medley; the fourth Chicken is Black; the Chicken is adorned with Iridescence; Green and Purple are evident; without the Flash these Colours are not represented; the Chicken Essence is absent due to the lack of a crucial component; namely; the Colour Shades.

alright

# ? May 14, 2015 12:56

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

natural sunlight _is the best light for photos, especially chickens _{_as} all other forms of light are bastardizations of true light that greatly alter color and the color spectrum. Furthermore chickens have been bred to endure, _even enjoy the flash of a camera.

checkmate bitch

:colbert:

# ? May 14, 2015 13:09

City of Glompton

Enhydra Lutris posted:

The most Enjoyable aspect of the Chickens (besides their Eggs; I prefer the Eggs to be poached; I like to excavate the Yolk; I pretend that I am unearthing a Treasure) is holding them; they are warm; they make soft chirping Sounds; they have small Reptilian feet.

I also like chickens. my favorite chicken is the Buff Cochin, particularly bantam varieties. their color is not as interesting as some chickens, but their rounded shape and feathered feet are very appealing to me.

the prettiest chicken I ever owned was a Rhode Island Red rooster. he bad gorgeous iridescent feathers.

do you name your chickens?

# ? May 14, 2015 14:02

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 06:52

BIRDCON 2017

how did you first find somethingawful enhydra? and what prompted you to make an account?

i don't think this has been asked and i am curious

# ? May 14, 2015 14:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Casual Discussion and Three Super Market Questions

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