Duggars: "Incest is Best"

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Duggars: "Incest is Best"

«‹›2 »

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

This Ain't Actually Illegal Like The Source Material: A XXX Parody

# ¿ May 24, 2015 13:39

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Jul 27, 2024 03:39

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Man I remember when TLC actually ran educational material. Discovery channel isn't as bad as TLC but it's headed in that direction.

# ¿ May 26, 2015 20:35

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

All those smiles look pretty fake.

# ¿ May 27, 2015 18:52

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Who knows what Huckabee actually believes he's just another right-wing snake running way out into crazyland so he can grab the fundie base and survive the early primaries. Watch him zip right back to reasonable if he survives.

# ¿ May 28, 2015 03:29

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

What is Aqua net?

edit nvm I can just google it

# ¿ Jun 1, 2015 03:59

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

So can anyone confirm whether the police report was leaked or whether it was a legit FOIA request

# ¿ Jun 5, 2015 07:10

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

So what was that about something being destroyed?

# ¿ Jun 5, 2015 07:31

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Eonwe posted:

prototype

I do not think that word means what you think it means

# ¿ Jun 5, 2015 16:40

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

God Emperor Jim Bob

# ¿ Jun 6, 2015 21:18

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Dress without modesty, and you will attract the worm.

# ¿ Jun 6, 2015 21:18

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

With these suits, properly maintained, we can minimize our loss of Jim Bob's semen to a thimble full a day

# ¿ Jun 7, 2015 03:53

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Jim Bob's 40,000 [grandkids]

In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only Duggars.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2015 13:37

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

From atop his golden throne God Emperor Jim Bob has taken note of the liberal heresy on these forums. Gays, trannies, and atheists beware, he has sent his chief psyker, grand inquisitor grandma to planet GBS in the Something Awful system to commence exterminatus.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2015 04:42

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

staberind posted:

I wonder if their house has *molestation in progress* codewords as well as nike?

Vans

edit: no wait Fila

# ¿ Jun 8, 2015 19:49

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

The Josh on Haunted Jill

# ¿ Jun 8, 2015 23:02

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Are there any advertisers that haven't pulled out?

# ¿ Jun 9, 2015 05:27

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Inside Out Mom posted:

Someone edit the Hitler movie scene but all the subtitles are Jim Bob.

http://downfall.jfedor.org/create/

# ¿ Jun 9, 2015 14:23

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Crusty Nutsack posted:

Where do you think all those girls get their fairly attractive genes from? definitely not jim boob

It's more heavy makeup and lighting in the photos than anything else. GIS the individual older daughters and you'll see what I mean

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 03:44

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Apparently having kids also gives a lot of women hemorrhoids.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 04:21

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Crusty Nutsack posted:

yes all women look terrible without heavy makeup and correct lighting

The goon I quoted asked where the duggar girls got their genes for being super hot. I don't think they're super hot I think they're average looking but they wear a lot of make up and with the proper lighting this makes them look hot, but with bad lighting it can backfire.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 13:08

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Slaughterhouse-Ive posted:

James Robert "J R R" Duggar

A Khal who cannot Duggar is no Khal.

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 16:48

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Part of me wants to read the bible through once just because of how culturally significant it is

Another part of me doesn't want to devote one second to that made up nonsense.

# ¿ Jun 14, 2015 05:16

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Watch a great rift form in GBS over whether emissions means farts or semen. We can call the factions the Cattledicks and the Protestaints.

# ¿ Jun 15, 2015 12:46

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Primarch Jim Bob turned to Chaos during the Huckabee Heresy and founded the Adeptus Incestus

# ¿ Jun 24, 2015 01:09

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Which Duggar is most likely to be gay/lesbian?

I'm legit curious as to people's opinions.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2015 04:09

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Pvt.Scott posted:

The invisible hand of the free market really worked for TLC, I see.

I bet Josh wished his hands were invisible.

# ¿ Jun 24, 2015 18:28

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Duggarnator Genesyster

# ¿ Jun 25, 2015 12:06

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Only people from my church go to heaven

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 09:42

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Entertainment Tonight posted:

Looks like a Duggar romance is not actually ending with a trip down the aisle.

After four months of courtship, 18-year-old Josiah Duggar has split with 17-year-old Marjorie Jackson. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar broke the news on Wednesday on the family's official Facebook page, attributing their son's breakup to "the Lord's will."

"A few weeks ago Marjorie and Josiah agreed to end their courtship, keeping in step with what they believe the Lord�s will is," they wrote. "Both are thankful for the time getting to know each other, and their families continue to enjoy each other�s company and close friendship. As parents we are very pleased to see two young people searching out their futures with God's will as their first priority!"

"Both Josiah and Marjorie have enjoyed getting to know each other and to build their friendship over the past months," they added. "We are so grateful that they each are seeking the Lord's will for their future."

Josiah officially entered into a courtship with Marjorie on April 6, after getting to know her through taking Spanish lessons with her mother, Analucia. "It's been going very well," he told People at the time. " ... I was very impressed with the way she was with her siblings and her love for the Lord."

Later that month, Josiah and Marjorie made their debut as a couple in a joint video for TLC. "Courtship is like dating with a purpose," Marjorie explained. "It's getting to know each other better in group settings, along with our families and just really asking those tough questions and getting to spend more time together along with family and friends."

In the video, Josiah's older brother, 27-year-old Josh Duggar, gives advice to him about courting.

TLC officially canceled 19 Kids and Counting last month, after the series lost numerous advertisers and sponsors when it was revealed that Josh molested several underage girls -- including his sisters -- when he was a teenager.

http://www.etonline.com/news/169378_josiah_duggar_and_marjorie_jackson_split_after_4_months_of_courtship/

# ¿ Aug 6, 2015 10:47

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

So how big of a chance is there that someone was just using his identity and it's not actually him?

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 02:34

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Fishy Joe posted:

hmmm lookin to bang a married chick, better pretend to be a weird pedophile

That didn't come out until this year.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 02:53

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Three Olives posted:

None, the card was in his name sent to his address and verified via AVS and it was hundreds of dollars worth of charges over years, he would have noticed the charges at some point if it wasn't him.

Is there any way all this leaked AM data could have been tampered with? I would think since this whole AM story is new we would have to wait for a more consistent pattern of authenticity.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 03:02

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

I feel pretty bad for Josh's kid's it's like they were screwed from day one.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 03:36

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Is a man not entitled to the Jim of his Bob?

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 15:24

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

The upside to this is now I know what answers to put on my OKCupid account if I open one. I'll just do the exact opposite of Josh Duggar:

Can you run a mile without stopping? "No"
I prefer to sleep� "Alone"
Group sex (with 3 or more people): "Definitely"
Do you keep your sexual exploits private? "No, never"
How often do you use Facebook? "I'm a somewhat inactive user"
How would you describe your body? "Not average"
If you were to die, would whoever goes through your personal belongings be shocked by what they find? "Yes"
What's the highest level of education you've completed? "None"
How much does physical attractiveness matter to you in a match? "Not at all"
Could you date someone who already has children from a previous relationship? "No"
In the line �Wherefore art thou Romeo?,� what does �wherefore� mean? "Why"
Do you think drug use with your partner can be a romantic activity? "Yes"
Should evolution and creationism be taught side-by-side in school? "No"
How often do you keep your promises? "Never"
How much do you spend per year for shoes? "$0"
Your significant other's ex is coming into town and he/she wants to go out to dinner with them alone. How do you react? "Never gonna get cucked"
Can anything be made the subject of a joke? "No. Not even clown rape is a laughing matter"
You're dating someone new. You discover that they have a housemate the same sex as you. This: "gently caress that I ain't gonna be cucked"
STALE is to STEAL as 89475 is to... "12345"
Do you like to go clubbing? "Yes, I do like to go clubbing"
On average, which best describes how often you GET WICKED DRUNK? "Always"
If someone sends you an e-mail (or has a profile) full of spelling and grammatical errors, are you less likely to talk to them? "None"
How often are you open with your feelings? "Unusually"
You're up against a nearly impossible challenge. Your ideal partner� "pushes you hard to fail"
Are you smarter than most people? "No"
Do you have a really good relationship with both your parents? "No"
Have you ever tried any sexual roleplaying, such as student/teacher or patient/nurse? "Yes, but it is not interesting"
Do you have any tattoos? "I have all tattoos"
Do you want your partner to be kinkier than you? "No"
Is a man who's slept with 100 women a bad person? "Yes"
Is a woman who's slept with 100 men a bad person? "Yes"
A college-level education is... "Elitist and wrong but mandatory"
Would you date someone who still lives with his/her parents? "No"
Is it okay to answer your cell phone while out with a friend or on a date? "Friend, no. Date, yes."
How do you feel about baseball? "I need it like crack"
Is marriage a necessity for two people who love each other? "Yes"
Would you prefer to be a financial success or to remain true to your principles? "GIMME DAT PAY-PER!"
Does the idea of flipping a coin to make important life decisions appeal to you? "Yes"
Would you date someone who kept a gun in the house? "No"
When men show extra courtesy toward women (opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc.), this is: "hosed up patriarchy poo poo. No-way"
How important to you is a potential match's sense of humor? "unimportant"
Would it bother you if someone you are dating has a lot of close friends of the opposite sex? "Yes. Humpty Dumpty"
Could you have respect for someone after having sex with them on the first meeting/date? "No"
If you were going to have a child, would you want the other parent to be of the same ethnicity as you? "Yes. Coloured Gents Mainly."
Do you like reading tabloids? "Yes"
Do you know how to drive a stick shift (manual transmission)? "What's that?"
Receiving anal sex? "I do like it / I do think I would like it"
Do you only date people with athletic and toned bodies? "Hell yeah"
Do you believe a couple should live together before considering marriage? "No"
Are you Jewish? "Yes"
Have you had a girlfriend before? "No"
Is it okay to live with someone you're dating, even before you're engaged or married? "No"
Would you date someone shorter than you? "No"

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 15:50

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

Imagine how crazy he went with the porn a couple of months into his marriage. Here's the order of events:
1. Grows up in household where sex is a total taboo subject and totally evil outside of marriage but Jim Bob and Michelle are pounding away nightly knocking the paintings off the walls.
2. Already a sense of isolation from the religion and you know that the rest of the world functions completely different from your small community.
3. Puberty happens and curiosity gets the better of him and the molestation happens, severely punished but guess what his pecker still gets wicked hard because :biotruths:

4. On the straight and narrow because arranged dating starts, and marriage is in sight and all that jizz needs to GET OUT
5. Marriage, honeymoon, living on his own, he's thinking HOLY loving poo poo NO WONDER DAD CAN'T KEEP HIS DICK OUT OF MOM'S VAGINA LIFE IS NOW AMAZING!
6. Wifey gets pregnant/the novelty of sex wears off and you're left with an arranged marriage between two fundies, who are also conservatives and thus boiling with latent fear and anger.
7. Business trip, holiday inn express first time truly alone in entire life: "Hmmm I'm a little bored I've read Matthew 3 so many times I practically know it by heart. Maybe I'll turn on Fox news or see if they have any cool Christian movies on the pay-per-view." *Satan pours the foundation for his fortress*
8. Wife's at the supermarket with the kid. God love her but she can be a bitch sometimes. pornhub.com
9. Kleenex experiences a 0.05% spike in profits over the next several years

Amarcarts fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Aug 20, 2015

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 23:06

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

I know what a bottom is but what's a power bottom? I know I could look it up but I think everyone needs to know.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 03:06

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

I envy all the terminology and hanky code type stuff that gays have.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2015 14:42

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

THIS AIN'T THE LEARNING CHANNEL XXX: I BUGGARED ANOTHER DUGGAR 19

God I wish I had that 'come up with the titles job'

# ¿ Aug 28, 2015 19:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Jul 27, 2024 03:39

Amarcarts: Feb 21, 2007; This looks a lot like suffering.

We need a sci-fi novel about the Duggar wars: Jim Bob's Game

# ¿ Aug 28, 2015 19:24

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Duggars: "Incest is Best"

«‹›2 »