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Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



If you want to see a bunch of elementary and middle schoolers have a mental breakdown behind a microphone over "verbarspermococcus," the National Spelling Bee starts its first round today at 8AM until 11:45 AM today before coming back at 1:15 PM, then resuming for the semifinals tomorrow at 10 AM and the finals at 10 PM. The stuff on today will be on ESPN 3, the semifinals on ESPN 2, and the finals on ESPN, like some kind of gradual evolution of "sports" relevance that ends with someone like Samantha Ponder going, "Ah, how cute!" at the kids for an hour.

The rules are constantly evolving because the goal is actually pretty attainable (just memorize the dictionary) so there's more and more bullshit offscreen computer testing that the participants have to go through to weed them out, but it still didn't work because there were co-champions last year because they spelled each other into a tie. So I'm not even sure how the rules work anymore, but presumably the broadcast will explain it.

The Favorite



Vanya Shivashankar, official Chilid Genius (TM) thanks to a bullshit Lifetime Channel reality competition, four time returner to the Bee, sister of a previous winner, yadda yadda, kinda the Seattle Seahawks of spelling bees or some other tortured comparison equivalent. Probably gonna win.

Other Contenders

I dunno, Gokul maybe. I don't recognize many of these kids from last year.

Also, the best way to find someone to root for is go here and pick out the kid who went to school nearest where you lived or grew up or whatever. Alternatively, just spot the most awkward kid there and root for them as they go through their most embarrassing routines and tics imaginable.

Why Should I Care?

Mostly because it gives good .gifs to use in actual sports GDTs.





Alternatively, because you like chess, but figured it just wasn't nerdy enough to root for, so you want to look at even nerdier poo poo under the thin guise of "competition."

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Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



Kid laughed at getting "llama" and that wasn't even the easiest word that's been offered. ("Renegade," really?) While other kids get random Chinese or Hawaiian words. The early rounds are weird that way.

DJExile
Jun 27, 2007




I look forward to this every year :allears:

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



Ah, yes. "Ribaldry."

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


Gokul is gonna get his revenge this year.

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



Kid who apparently dressed as Tom Baker for a Halloween is out. :(

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


Cy is the most Jewish kid I have ever seen. I'm all in on him.

"Thought she was gonna make like Steph Curry at the buzzer" LMAO

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



Henchman of Santa posted:

Cy is the most Jewish kid I have ever seen. I'm all in on him.

"Thought she was gonna make like Steph Curry at the buzzer" LMAO

The horribly shoehorned-in sports references have only just begun.

Gokul the Lebron of Spelling going against the Spurs that are the Shivashankars, who wins???

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



"Oh well."

Marshal Prolapse
Jun 23, 2012

Big Boss Biden

I never thought I'd see an OT for the Spelling Bee....I'll have to pass it along to my wife, she always loves watching this every year. She's hyped to watch it tonight.

Ah spelling bee I'll never forget hands girl Rebecca Sealfont.

Marshal Prolapse fucked around with this message at 22:39 on May 28, 2015

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:


Oh hell yeah

zakharov
Nov 30, 2002

:kimchi: Tater Love :kimchi:


Oh come on bouillabaisse is a gimme

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


I don't know why I'm rooting for a child to lose but I guess I need a villain and I've decided it's Vanya

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
:shrek:

Henchman of Santa posted:

I don't know why I'm rooting for a child to lose but I guess I need a villain and I've decided it's Vanya

because these millennials need to learn that in life there are losers and participation awards should not exist :argh:

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


Calling Dev as next year's winner

Pancakes
May 21, 2001



Crypto-Rump Roast

Gokul is spelling The Right Way

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


Gokul is loving fire. Last year he was a robot. This year he's all swag, probably because he's into Illmatic.

Brogeoisie
Jan 12, 2005

"Look, I'm a private citizen," he said. "One thing that I don't have to do is sit here and open my kimono as it relates to how much money I make or didn't."


Gokul is my fave, true baller, LeBron is his number 1 player, compared his game of horse using nonpareil

Brogeoisie
Jan 12, 2005

"Look, I'm a private citizen," he said. "One thing that I don't have to do is sit here and open my kimono as it relates to how much money I make or didn't."


Wow is right, this girl is psycho good

MakaVillian
Aug 15, 2003

Well, in Whoville they say - that his tiny hands grew three sizes that day.



This cracker is out of his depth

Brogeoisie
Jan 12, 2005

"Look, I'm a private citizen," he said. "One thing that I don't have to do is sit here and open my kimono as it relates to how much money I make or didn't."


This cole kid immediately sits down and starts eating a cookie and has this "I don't give a gently caress" face on

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

and we're down to the heavy favorites.

corn on the cop
Oct 12, 2012

Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

― Corey Dostoyevsky

these two are so far and beyond everyone else it's stunning

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



C'mon Gokul!

Mukaikubo
Mar 14, 2006

"You treat her like a lady... and she'll always bring you home."


Gokul all like "na gently caress this i got it no questions asked" for the finale. That's classy as poo poo. I am down with Gokul.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001



Crypto-Rump Roast

Gokul: Zero fucks given.

Pinche Rudo
Feb 8, 2005



Gokul with the no hesitation winner

Brogeoisie
Jan 12, 2005

"Look, I'm a private citizen," he said. "One thing that I don't have to do is sit here and open my kimono as it relates to how much money I make or didn't."


hell YES GOKUL

Adun
Apr 15, 2001

Publicola

Fun Shoe

omg Gokul just dropped the mic

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



I took a nap and hosed up the time for when this started, and I was like, "What, there's only two spellers left? Okay, Gokul and... Vanya, that's completely unsurprising."

That No Questions Ending owned. Good bee, just for that. Gonna pour one out for Jae Canetti tonight. Nvr 4gt.

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010


That walk-off was dripping with more swag than both Run the Jewels albums combined

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Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012



More than three people posted in here. Thread was a success.

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