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Edit: Crisis has passed, pasta was made, and a new month looms. Stick around for the hobby shaming on page 2. So it's the end of the month, and I have one of those households where the end of the month is usually the point where it's time to tighten up the belt a notch or two. This month has probably been the worst in recent memory (due largely in part to poor budgeting from my wife and I's hobbies) and the belt has already been cinched as tight as it will go. My pantry is pretty barren right now and I have pretty much nothing. But! I have the bare basics to make a vat of pasta to last three days til payday. Frozen ground beef (2lbs/1kg 85/15, 1lb/500g 75/25), several pounds of spaghetti/angel hair, ziti, rigatoni, penne and macaroni. The issue I am having, is I have a large can of crushed tomatoes (Hunt's Crushed Tomatoes with Basil - 1lb 12oz / 794g), and that's pretty much it. I need to turn that can of tomatoes into a pasta sauce that isn't going to taste like watered down tomato. A non-exhaustive list of my kitchen contents: Spices (All dried unless otherwise noted): Salt, Seasoned Salt, Sea Salt, Pink Salt, Black Salt Pepper, Cracked Pepper Grinder, Fresh Peppercorns, Long Pepper, Grains of Paradise, White Pepper Crushed Red Pepper, Ground Cayenne Pepper, Chiptole (Powder and bouillon), Habanero (Fresh), Carolina Reaper (Fresh, no I'm not putting this in the sauce, my wife can't eat spicy food. I make candy out of them) Curry Powder, Bird's Eye Curry Powder, Tumeric, Cumin, Mustard (Powder), Mustard (Prepared), Powdered Ginger, Asefoteta Basil, Italian Seasoning Blend, Bay Leaf, Lavender (Fresh in my garden), Mint (Fresh in my garden), Marjoram, Crushed Cilantro, Crushed Thyme (I think. I didn't see it on first look but I'm pretty sure I have it.) Dried Onion Flakes, Garlic Powder, Onion Salt, Garlic Salt Fennel Seed, Celery Seed Ground Nutmeg, Whole Clove, Ground Allspice, Madagascar Vanilla Beans, Alum, Pickling Spice Old Bay, McCormick's: Rotisserie Chicken, Caribbean Jerk, Montreal Steak House Grinder Around 100 different Teas, some instant coffee Oils: Canola, Coconut, Sesame, Grapeseed, Rapeseed, Peanut, Safflower, Olive (Light and Virgin and probably both not real olive oil), Lard (This poo poo is the bomb on toast) Alcohols: Marsala, Dry Sherry, Golden Sherry, Sherry, Dark Horse Cab, Biltmore Estate White Zin, 1 other white wine that I don't recall off the top of my head. Sam Adams Winter Ale & Cold Snap, A about a cup of Ten Fidy Imperial Stout that I think went stale, Dragon's Milk Whiskey Stout, Wild Blue Blueberry Lager Some Whiskey, Raspberry Vodka, Moonshine (the real stuff, somewhere around 175 proof), other various Liqours you shouldn't put in a pasta sauce. Grains and Grain Like: Whole wheat flour, all purpose flour, almond flour, spelt flour, rye flour, golden flaxseed meal, Buckwheat flour, oat flour, barley flour, corn meal, Corn starch Equipment: 1.5 cup food processor, hand mixer missing half it's attachments (so only 1 blade (which works for most things)), mortar and pestle, hammer Other: Sugar, Simple Syrup, About a cup of heavy cream, some "flavor boost" vegetable stock packets, "better than bouillon" beef and chicken stocks (which I used once and they've been in my fridge for... longer than I remember.) I might have an egg or two depending on if they last forever in a fridge or not (They're probably at least 3-4 months old. Bought them for a bread recipe and only used 3 of the 6). An unopened jug of tomato juice that's been in my fridge for 2 months that I found hidden behind the beer. If I didn't list it, I don't have. (No fresh veg beyond some chili peppers, no other "normal" pantry staples, no butter (used the last of it a few days ago)). Caveat: I might have a spice not listed, but I know I do not have rosemary or sage (except what's in the premixed Italian seasoning). Kasan fucked around with this message at 19:36 on Jun 2, 2015 |
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May 31, 2015 21:05
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I lucked out and found a jar of alfredo on top of my fridge. Tonight I'll make alfredo instead and hopefully by tomorrow there are some suggestions here.
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Jun 1, 2015 02:16
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What are you expecting here? You only have 2 ingredients: meat and tomatoes, and not enough tomatoes at that. The rest are flavorings. Brown the meat, simmer with tomatoes, add whatever flavorings you want. Your sauce will be mediocre.
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Jun 1, 2015 02:53
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Alright alright, I think I have a good handle on your situation. Based on your ingredient list and stated goal, I think it will be a little difficult to pull off, but we can totally do this ; we got this thing man! Here is my proposed recipe.
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Jun 1, 2015 05:35
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Pretty sure that unless you can get your hands on at least some tomato paste/sauce there are no miracles today.
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Jun 1, 2015 11:35
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Puree the can of tomatoes in the food processor. Put the puree into a pot over very low heat (about 30 minutes in, the surface should be steaming with the very occasional bubble). Add in: some of the Dark Horse cab, crushed pepper, a tiny amount of nutmeg, and your garlic/onion powder. Let this simmer until the saucy is getting cludgy, usually about 2 hours. Brown the meat in a pan, season with whatever doesn't make you throw up. Add finished meat to sauce, whack it again with the cab and add some olive oil. Let it go another 30 min - hour, season with salt & sugar, and serve over whatever pasta. Spend the rest of the evening re-enacting the scene from The Road where The Man begs his wife not to kill herself.
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Jun 1, 2015 14:05
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If money is tight consider growing some cilantro and limes and you can then add them to your sauces to give them a "latin" kick!
Nooner fucked around with this message at 17:29 on Jun 1, 2015 |
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Jun 1, 2015 17:22
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I bought bottle of Cajun Spices i've been using lately to give things a little 'cajun' flare
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Jun 1, 2015 17:26
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Also OP you have literal pounds of food and are gonna 'starve' bc you can't stop spending money on "hobbies". my suggestion would be to stop wasting money on steam games and perhaps spend more time in a grocery store. i recommend adding rat poison to the sauce, it will prevent any future budget issues
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Jun 1, 2015 17:34
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Dump the tomatoes into a pot and put them over medium heat until they begin to simmer, then turn the heat to medium-low so you see a bubble every 3-4 seconds. Pour in a splash of the red wine you have, some salt, and assorted spices (if you're lazy just add some italian seasoning and garlic powder). Let this reduce until the sauce isn't watery and will cling to a wooden spoon, not just run right off. While it's reducing, brown your ground beef. Once the sauce has sufficiently thickened, use an immersion blender and puree it. Then add your jar of alfredo. Dump the browned ground beef (drain the fat) into the sauce, mix it all up, and let it come up to temp, finishing cooking the ground beef. Congrats, now you have a lazy cheesy tomato meat sauce you can portion out for the various types of pasta you have.
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Jun 1, 2015 17:38
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Why drain the fat tho
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Jun 1, 2015 18:05
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Fetus Tree posted:Why drain the fat tho 75/25 meat is gonna be super oily, you don't want that much fat floating around on top of your sauce.
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Jun 1, 2015 18:29
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Fetus Tree posted:Also OP you have literal pounds of food and are gonna 'starve' bc you can't stop spending money on "hobbies". my suggestion would be to stop wasting money on steam games and perhaps spend more time in a grocery store. Blacksmithing and Historical reenactment actually. The two actual recipe suggestions both sound amazingly delicious and are being prepared immediately.
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Jun 1, 2015 23:20
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I can't believe I actually didn't guess a goony enough hobby
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Jun 1, 2015 23:31
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Nooner posted:If money is tight consider growing some cilantro and limes and you can then add them to your sauces to give them a "latin" kick! where is your beanie babby????
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Jun 2, 2015 02:22
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Fry up ground beef in largest pan you have until majority of pink is gone. Remove beef from pan and drain meat, but reserve some fat in pan. Slice an onion thin. Add spices (whatever seems 'italian' and some red pepper flakes) to fat, allow to bloom but do not burn them. Turn down heat, add sliced onion, brown and soften for 10 minutes on low heat. Then add tomatoes. Glug of red wine. Let simmer, then re-add ground beef. Simmer on low to reduce sauce to desired thickness. I do my most basic marinara this way, without the ground beef and use bacon drippings as my fat. Also a healthy glonk of sriracha at the end for heat, but red pepper flakes do nicely. I find blooming the spices really adds a lot of power to them. There is, however, a secret tomato sauce in my family. It is called Candy Sauce, but I dont have the recipe. It is the world's most perfect spaghetti sauce, and mom got the recipe from a lady named Candy who worked in the kitchen of the 4H Camp we went to as kids. All I know is that it uses crushed tomatoes, ground beef and turkey, spices, garlic, and a decent amount of burgundy. I dont know the amounts though. It is basically Mom's only remaining culinary secret that she keeps from me. I only know that the order of cooking things is very much the way I posted the above marinara sauce.
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Jun 2, 2015 02:55
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Adding spicy ketchup to the pasta sauce seems kind of different
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Jun 2, 2015 03:01
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Jun 2, 2015 03:05
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i see you that and raise you some cajun flair 
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Jun 2, 2015 03:29
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Crusty Nutsack posted:where is your beanie babby???? Idk I woke up this morning and it was changed \ : Real talk op you should probably spend less on nerd stuff if eating is becoming a struggle. There is a good thread in GBS right now with helpful tips and tricks for saving money at discount grocers!
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Jun 2, 2015 03:38
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I would guess if the OP's primary hobby is LARPing that he probably isn't remotely close to starving, anyway
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Jun 2, 2015 03:42
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Looks like some recipes were already suggested and apparently accepted/used, but in case there's more stuff left over to cook with and/or you're a true goon and dont learn from your mistakes and this is going to happen again next month, it looks like you have enough stuff to jerry-rig something that's almost a good ragu bolognese. General walkthrough: Prep: Thaw some meat, blitz those tomatos in your processor until you've got a puree, probably will want 2-3 cups. Take some of the beefs (Preferably a blend of the two kinds, more fatty than lean, probably 2 pounds or so, give or take a half), throw it in a hot pan with some olive oil. Season with a little bit of salt now. Brown it over medium-high heat. No, don't just cook it until it's not pink: That's not brown, that's grey. This browning is one of the main sources of flavor of the sauce, keep frying that poo poo until it looks drat near caramelized, like a thousand ground up tiny steaks all seared to a delicious crust on the outside, this is important. Since you have no actual onions/celery/garlic/etc, throw in some onion flakes, celery seed, and garlic powder near the end of this step so they have time to cook a little in the fat, but not burn. This should all smell savory and delicious. Skim off some of the fat if there's a shitton. Dump in half a cup or so of the pureed tomatos and an equal amount of white wine, turn the heat down a bit, and stir to combine, making sure to deglaze all the delicious browned meatbits you've made from that Real Meat Browning action. Add some You can either serve with pasta immediately when it's done, or let it cool down and stick it in the fridge for later (Even better, in my opinion, since the flavors can meld more). When ready to serve, cook your pasta, heat some of the sauce (It's going to look more like meat bound together in tomato paste than a normal wet sauce, but this is correct) in a pan, add the pasta and a splash of pasta water to loosen the sauce up, toss, and enjoy.
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Jun 2, 2015 04:43
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Fetus Tree posted:I would guess if the OP's primary hobby is LARPing that he probably isn't remotely close to starving, anyway SCA. Not that fru-fru hurr durr I'm an elf bullshit. (Or Vampire if MET is still a thing). Edit: Blacksmithing is my primary hobby, SCA second. Steam games are probably a distant 6th behind some other crafting hobbies like wood working and building miniature cannons to scare the neighbors kids off my lawn. Pasta was editable and the sauce wasn't horrible but definitely not great. Today is pay day so the week long single meal days are done and it's back to my usual fare as soon as the farmers market opens here in a minute. Kasan fucked around with this message at 09:57 on Jun 2, 2015 |
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Jun 2, 2015 09:55
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Ok for reals- If you have it, or not, acquire onions and garlic. Dice garlic and onion. Olive oil in pan, fry on medium-high till soft. Ensure you season with salt and pepper you scrub lord. Next the meat, turn heat up high and brown.Next up, season that. Next, red wine, Worcestershire sauce (small amount), salt and pepper. Cook out, empty tin of tomatoes, half fill with water, slosh it around the tin and add the lightly tomato flavoured water. Alternatively if you have the cash grab a tin of condensed tomato soup and add that as well. Season. Turn heat right down, add piles of Rosemary, basil, whatever else you want, cover,simmer until it's as thick as desired. Reevaluate life choices over beer
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Jun 2, 2015 09:56
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Kasan posted:SCA. Not that fru-fru hurr durr I'm an elf bullshit. (Or Vampire if MET is still a thing). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2sgMvv8NDOU Wow, you guys actually get some pretty nice looking damsels. Whats the name of your sword?
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Jun 2, 2015 15:51
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I'll back him up - SCA has tons of weirdos and nerds in it, but the combat is legit sport stuff. I used to do it, and still would but there's no organization close enough to me to make it worth my time. Heavy armored combat is serious cudgeling people, no larping poo poo. Steer clear of the people who try to reenact Shakespeare and the Renfair types and it's a hell of a time. Like in this bridge battle below - doing this for 10 hours and then hanging out by the campfire with your bros is a pretty good weekend. Even better are the large scale battles with a few hundred people on each side at once. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB2f3perFGw
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Jun 2, 2015 17:41
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Kasan posted:SCA. Not that fru-fru hurr durr I'm an elf bullshit. (Or Vampire if MET is still a thing). ok so make fewer broadswords and maybe save some money in case this poo poo happens again jesus christ
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Jun 2, 2015 18:05
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OP, what kind of swords/armor do you smith? I might be able to set up a barter where I send you cans of tomato paste in exchange for some chainmail, or perhaps studded leather. Bonus: you can use the metal in the tomato paste cans for extra forging fun!
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Jun 2, 2015 18:06
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Voted 5
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Jun 2, 2015 18:06
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also you are wearing costumes and fake fighting who are you to judge anybody's hobby wow
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Jun 2, 2015 18:07
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Mr. Wiggles posted:I'll back him up - SCA has tons of weirdos and nerds in it, but the combat is legit sport stuff. I used to do it, and still would but there's no organization close enough to me to make it worth my time. Heavy armored combat is serious cudgeling people, no larping poo poo. Steer clear of the people who try to reenact Shakespeare and the Renfair types and it's a hell of a time. Like in this bridge battle below - doing this for 10 hours and then hanging out by the campfire with your bros is a pretty good weekend. Even better are the large scale battles with a few hundred people on each side at once. That really wasn't a battle. I've seen more intense games of tag, and tag doesn't require me to wear a costume expensive enough that I can't afford to eat.
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Jun 2, 2015 18:08
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don't toss out those used soup/vegetable tins! they may not look like much but remove the labels, grab a hole-puncher and some twine and you can weave yourself a pretty legit combat mail that will resist most blunt/long trauma. be weary, though, for you are still quite vulnerable to stabbing thrusts.
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Jun 2, 2015 18:09
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Kasan posted:So it's the end of the month, and I have one of those households where the end of the month is usually the point where it's time to tighten up the belt a notch or two. This month has probably been the worst in recent memory (due largely in part to poor budgeting from my wife and I's hobbies) and the belt has already been cinched as tight as it will go. My pantry is pretty barren right now and I have pretty much nothing. oh god loving kill yourself
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Jun 2, 2015 18:10
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Also your grammar is terrible.
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Jun 2, 2015 18:15
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when you cosplay fighty-knights are you pretending to be an Italian knight? If not i believe your inquiry into how to better cook pasta sauces and dishes is reaching into the "realm" (just a little medieval humor for ya) of cultural appropriation. Maybe you would be better "suited"(  )asking how create some authentic doritios or mt dew based mead
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Jun 2, 2015 18:15
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Kasan posted:SCA. Not that fru-fru hurr durr I'm an elf bullshit. (Or Vampire if MET is still a thing). 
whoflungpoop fucked around with this message at 04:10 on Jun 27, 2015 |
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Jun 2, 2015 18:16
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maybe you could barter your 20 different kinds of salt for some food or maybe some rat poison so you die
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Jun 2, 2015 18:16
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*Has 10 different types of cooking oil among two people, which you most likely cannot consume before some of it goes rancid and is an oddity unless the cook often prepares large batches of food* "honey, we are having trouble making ends meet again. maybe we can just cut meat of the equation this month?"
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Jun 2, 2015 18:19
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Mr. Wiggles posted:I'll back him up - SCA has tons of weirdos and nerds in it, but the combat is legit sport stuff. I used to do it, and still would but there's no organization close enough to me to make it worth my time. Heavy armored combat is serious cudgeling people, no larping poo poo. Steer clear of the people who try to reenact Shakespeare and the Renfair types and it's a hell of a time. Like in this bridge battle below - doing this for 10 hours and then hanging out by the campfire with your bros is a pretty good weekend. Even better are the large scale battles with a few hundred people on each side at once. Several of my friends are currently out of commission from broken wrists, twisted ankles and cracked ribs. You's essentially being hit with a baseball bat by somebody who actually knows how to swing it for maximum force and efficiency. I don't really do the heavy combat (I have a partial suit of armor that's a mix between stainless steel, air craft aluminum and plastic, but no helmet because gently caress those are expensive and I don't have the skill yet to make one myself), but I do participate heavily in the arts, service and thrown weapons. I can accurate hit a 3"^2 target from up to 30 feet with axes. Primarily I cook feasts at events. We two manned a feast for 98 people earlier this month because the volunteers that signed up to help in the kitchen didn't make it to the event. Everything was fluid until we got to the point we started in on making Bonnie Prince Charles Chicken. Trying to pan fry 75 lbs of chicken and make sauces before transferring to a giant pot to hold it all with only three usable burners set us back nearly 2 hours. But man, those feels when the kitchen staff receive a standing ovation. I was asked to teach a couple of classes at an upcoming learning event called Collegium (basically people teach something they know, ranging from something as simple as Cornet Identification and proper terms of address all the way to Exchequer 101-301 which is basically a 6 hour crash course in accounting.). I'll be teaching a class on how to make a period "correct" Scandinavian bread utilizing grains and nuts that are/were common to the area at the time (importing flour is loving expensive but man the bread is good) and a class on the preparation and history of an SCA Feast staple: Savory Toasted Cheese. tl;dr: Join the SCA. Get you head caved in and enjoy a delicious feast with all the home brewed mead and spirits you can drink afterwards. Edit: Croatoan, my grammar has always been horrible. You've pointed that out a couple times over the last 7 years. Yes, I do cook food for very large numbers of people, it's why I have an absurdly stupid amount of oils, salts and other things I didn't list because you don't put them in pasta. Edit2: BahnMi - I'm not a bladesmith or armorer. I make tools, iron goods, the occasional axe. My last commissioned work was for 40 hand wrought S-hooks for a guys pavilion. $200 for 3 hours worth of work and $20 worth of steel. That's been several months back. I have a current project for an iron ball on the end of a 15-18" chain for some pirate guys to get it cherry red hot and drop into a cask of rum and butter for some pirate drink. I'm getting $40 and a 1 gallon jug of a rum based mixed drink they make that's delicious. Re; Tin Cans. I don't toss any of those away. Actual tin cans get melted in with copper and aluminum to make aluminum bronze which I use for gilding or casting. Cans that turn out to be steel get used for other projects. Kasan fucked around with this message at 18:36 on Jun 2, 2015 |
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Jun 2, 2015 18:19
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Mr. Wiggles posted:I'll back him up - SCA has tons of weirdos and nerds in it, but the combat is legit sport stuff. I used to do it, and still would but there's no organization close enough to me to make it worth my time. Heavy armored combat is serious cudgeling people, no larping poo poo. Steer clear of the people who try to reenact Shakespeare and the Renfair types and it's a hell of a time. Like in this bridge battle below - doing this for 10 hours and then hanging out by the campfire with your bros is a pretty good weekend. Even better are the large scale battles with a few hundred people on each side at once. lol nice cosplay ****** Dang It Bhabhi! fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Jun 2, 2015 |
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Jun 2, 2015 18:28
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