GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

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Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Rad Lieutenant posted:

for nude red head http://m.imgur.com/a/Fw2ZO

Just so everyone knows, that link goes to pics of a holocaust victim trapped in a cave instead of pics of that bushy red beard guy and his presumably equally bushy fire crotch.

# ¿ Jun 3, 2015 22:05

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# ¿ Sep 1, 2024 02:51

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

beards go

reposted from my tumblr plz do not steal

# ¿ Jun 3, 2015 23:41

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Reign Of Pain posted:

How many caged women are in your basement?

tons when the short film those stills are from premieres. It's called OZY VERMIS: YOGA BUTT SLAYER. It's about an ex-marine who needs to have sex with a different yoga butt every day in order to suppress the memories of all the Taliban commandos he killed in hand-to-hand combat. Spoiler: Eventually there are no more yoga butts to conquer so he re-enlists, kills more Talibans, and begins the cycle anew..

# ¿ Jun 3, 2015 23:52

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Potential BFF posted:

I don't know if I'm unlucky or what but spinning the wheel of "sure why not" with the tig ol bitty crowd has been an exercise in disappointment. Every time the bra comes off it's like finding out your birthday cake is full of snot and nightmares. I didn't buy all those bottles of sake at the loving Thai restaurant to stick my face in a pair of week old get well soon balloons. Thanks for loving nothing. Ms. rail thin two nails hammered into a board may have higher self esteem and maintenance requirements but that roulette wheel isn't rigged for misery. Regret maybe, but not misery. I'd rather discover a maze of daddy left us cuts on a lady with the proportions of a 2 x 4 than another pair of blown out spoiled cantaloupes stuck in a walmart brassiere.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2015 20:12

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

terrez posted:

WITNESS ME

# ¿ Jun 10, 2015 13:13

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

I went like 7 or 8 months without drinking. It wasn't even a conscious decision. I just got balls deep in school stuff and forgot how much I liked drinking.

Now I'm trying to throw together a script and shoot something this summer so obviously I'm leaning on gin pretty hard to get that ball rolling.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 01:24

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

you ever frame that citation from when you got thrown out of a ball game for being too drunk?

I'm not that sentimental.

... but that is a really good idea.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 08:25

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

came home drunk

was gonna tell yall some secret of life poo poo

some get you through the dark time poo poo

some get yo dick hard poo poo

just gonna process my Steam cart instead andplay video games

on your own sluts

# ¿ Jun 12, 2015 07:27

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

New True Detective seems like poo poo so far.
The Brink isn't funny.
Ballers is black people entourage.

Pull it together HBO.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 02:30

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

MassivelyBuckNegro posted:

Like all things black, its slightly better than the white version of Entourage.

Never seen Entourage, but I'm sure that is true.

Of those three shows, Ballers was the one I enjoyed the most.

# ¿ Jun 23, 2015 02:47

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

I think Felicia Clover is comfortable getting pounded for cash at any weight.

# ¿ Jun 30, 2015 19:45

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Nostalgia4Murder posted:

You guys need some standards. I would rather just gently caress my hand.

ahahahahahaha

yeah ok

# ¿ Jul 1, 2015 05:20

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Nostalgia4Murder posted:

have fun loving 5's I guess.

I mean the only place she would be considered hot is the midwest.

http://imgur.com/YG0TwAM :nws:

# ¿ Jul 1, 2015 05:41

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Nostalgia4Murder what are your thoughts on gluten, craft beers, and having your rear end in a top hat licked by a dude.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2015 05:57

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Mike-o posted:

I think zombie's standards are a bit skewed since he's in Hawaii peepin butts all day, understandable.

Go to Hawaii.

gently caress something.

Come back here and apologize to me and the rest of the midwest.

# ¿ Jul 1, 2015 08:54

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

lol greece. BETTA STRENFIN UP YO poo poo PUSSY BABY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCv4tcQojFI&t=1463s

(about 24:23-28:20 if I hosed up the bbcode)

# ¿ Jul 6, 2015 01:31

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Steel Reserve Pineapple huh.

I mean.. I'd start there out of sheer curiosity.

Between those, the Schwepps, Vodka, and whatever that big red can is between the pineapple drinks, you might be able to whip together something that resembles a drink.

# ¿ Jul 8, 2015 22:51

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Duzzy Funlop posted:

pinapple ... with a shot of gin

I love pineapple dranks.

I love gin dranks.

But together?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUVsDy0sc3k&t=261s

# ¿ Jul 9, 2015 00:39

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Genocide Tendency posted:

Click me

You are welcome.

"If anything goes wrong, we can blame it on them. We have built-in deniability!"

:downs:

Nobody's even trying anymore.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2015 00:46

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

deadpool is lame as gently caress. gently caress off with that corny poo poo

I'm pretty sure Deadpool wasn't even a comic book. The internet just spontaneously invented him a few years ago. Willed into existence by the shared consciousness of fat manchildren everywhere.

Like Boba Fett.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2015 03:13

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

I'm not googling that word. I get the joke that they're pedophiles, but are they some kinda special snowflake pedo? Like do they only kiddie diddle wearing a Nixon face mask and robins egg blue stockings and a Cubs hat?? Because seriously- I'm not googling that. Tired of answering my waifus questions about my browser history or it's obvious gaps in coverage.

Given the choice, they would prefer to gently caress 15-19 year olds.

Those monsters.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2015 08:51

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Rough Lobster posted:

Yeah I'll stick with the 18-19 year olds thanks

Also the 24 year olds

http://fightthenewdrug.org/this-years-most-popular-genre-of-porn-is-pretty-messed-up/

The attached article is pretty eye-roll inducing, but it does touch on one truth: the ape-part of your brain (aka all of it) associates flawless skin and naturally free-standing boobs with girls who could pass for high school students.

24 years old? Crapshoot. Might be hitting their experimental stride, might respect themselves too much to take the dick in a deviant way. But definitely a higher probability of c-section belly stripes, dangly poon, and a body that's already conforming to the shape of an office chair.

I'm the exception, of course. I only search for "teen" because I get perverse satisfaction out of seeing hosed-out mid-30's pornstars forced to wear pig tails and plaid skirts.

# ¿ Jul 14, 2015 15:33

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

I just remembered something, and I feel like it's too important to trust a mere notebook with it.

My buddy farted on a kid in Afghanistan.

And the kid didn't laugh. Barely even registered.

I don't care if you have written language and art- if you don't laugh at farts you are not a part of my species.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2015 02:20

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Dead Reckoning posted:

Look, a lot of things seem less funny when you're a detainee.

Detainees farted a lot. I always suspected it was because HQ fobbits kept their wrists and ankles zip-tied constantly. I'd cut em loose and listen to their guts de-compress as they stretched out for a bit.

They didn't laugh, but considering the circumstances I guess that's okay.

# ¿ Jul 15, 2015 02:57

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

are we not supposed to use them anymore? Because I slip that poo poo in everywhere.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 01:08

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Victor Vermis posted:

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 01:31

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Victor Vermis posted:

edit: fixed

Victor Vermis fucked around with this message at 02:30 on Jul 16, 2015

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 01:54

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Crazy solo black dude who recently converted to Islam?

Angry white sovereign citizen pushed over the edge by Jade Helm?

Disgruntled Recruiter?

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 20:02

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Booblord Zagats posted:

Open contract signer

yeah right

Open contract signers don't even have the balls to voice a preference when signing away 4+ years of their life.

Mass shooting seems a little out of their league.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 20:05

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

She has the ugliest goddamn face.

Her tits are mundane.

Completely unremarkable- physically- human being.

You guys are weird.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 23:13

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Oh hell yes, I'd still crush that pussy.

Your pretty much a giant human being otherwise. That girl cleans up nice, tells a good joke, and does the filthy stuff with kinda big titties. I promise I look worse in a speedo stand up rafting than baby girl does in that bikini. I bet that apply to more than 3/5ths of us, too. When she bloats up float out, but its pretty to say you wouldn't gently caress Amy Schumer unless your sone butt loving soddomite like our mod.

welp, that confirms it.

Shim isn't a jew.

He's black.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 23:16

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

LtCol J. Krusinski posted:

Still love you though bro, I'll touch dicks.

I'm not gonna catch you up on cell phone payments or let you blow a load in me just because my dad bitched about welfare recipients.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 23:22

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

pkells posted:

Seriously if you look at that face and that body AND THAT FACE and can imagine some kind of sex scenario without cringing.. you gotta have some ROOTS.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 23:36

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Nostalgia4Dicks posted:

lmbo like any of you have standards

I don't.

That's how you know I'm being sincere.

Obviously all bets are off when I'm drunk.

... but I'm drunk right now SO YEAH I THINK I AM BEING SINCERE.

# ¿ Jul 16, 2015 23:39

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

PINING 4 PORKINS posted:

cracked some cans and decided i should finally see what this True Detective show is all about and oooh man

PINING 4 PORKINS posted:

yeah from the beginning

You're in for a REAL TREAT.

Cherish it.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 05:16

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

ManMythLegend posted:

Don't listen to the haters. Season 2 is loving great.

It's not a great as Season 1, but it's still awesome and it's credibly the best thing on TV.

It's not awesome.

But yeah it probably is the best thing on TV right now.

TV sucks right now.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 06:10

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Rough Lobster posted:

I'm still waiting to be grabbed by the story

Same. And I'm sure a lot of people feel this way about the season.

The problem: there are only 3 episodes left.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 19:22

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

Kawasaki Nun posted:

i have no pm but am interested

RE True Detective Chat: Alot of the scenes and lines seem like they could have been much better if the actors had been given more/better direction. I wonder how many takes they took because it seems like the actor are talking past each other alot.

nah. A lot of the dialogue is just bizarre utterances. The characters are talking to themselves.

When it's weirdo cerebral dude creeping out his short-fuze simpleton partner, those lines are terrific. Not so much when the entire cast is dropping them in every scene.

# ¿ Jul 26, 2015 02:21

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

jesus christ you guys are slow

PINING 4 PORKINS posted:

check out r/legaladvice and r/personalfinance on reddit, they always keep me laughing at work

# ¿ Jul 29, 2015 04:51

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# ¿ Sep 1, 2024 02:51

Victor Vermis: Dec 21, 2004; WOKE UP IN THE DESERT AGAIN

After high school I delivered pizzas for 2 years, worked in a packaging factory for less than a year, and spent nearly 3 years mopping gas station floors on 3rd shift.

I have zero interesting stories.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 05:12

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > GiP Drunk Thread 2k15: Merry Christmas from the beaniesons!

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