UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > UK Cunt Thread: bread and coffee wankers

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Shirley Crabtree posted:

i appreciate the male form as well as the next goon when its done right but we're talking pasty old bald guys with pot bellies and flacid moobs and usually the cocks arent anything to speak of either

mate, your avatar :stare:

you've a bit of a fixation, haven't you?

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 10:26

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:32

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

maybe it's the time of day i go at but the gym i go to is full of hawt giyz :jiggled:

i once saw a pierced cock

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 10:30

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Creamfilled posted:

Or you can come live in Wales! You can get a six bedrom for �90,000 so long as you don't mind living in Cymmer

is that pronounced how i think it is?

(as cummer?) :laugh:

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 23:19

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

The Big Taff Man posted:

Careful freelop. I might get my notebook out

quality drawer action, that

# ¿ Jul 31, 2015 10:46

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

it's very girlish pengirlship imo. surprised the is aren't dotted with hearts tbh

# ¿ Jul 31, 2015 11:39

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

The Big Taff Man posted:

Just added the word twat to both your pages

Only joking, you two dont have pages under the rule "those without a tar dont get a page"

you with your girlish writing and secret diary keeping. you sat at the girls' tables all the way through school, didn't you? :laugh:

# ¿ Jul 31, 2015 12:00

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

wear funny police hat!

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 09:47

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

hemale in pain posted:

does anyone believe those lidl adverts? i think those people are paid actors

which ones? they show different ads in different regions. the ones here go on about how local everything is and how proud they are to serve northern ireland :laugh:

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 10:22

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

hemale in pain posted:

they have these ads were they serve people food and say "this is x brand" but then go "NO ACTUALLY ITS LIDL YOU MORON" and everyone laughs and acts surprised instead of angry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SuCpZ2CPao

ah, you must live in a posh place. NI has mostly skint people so their tactic here is the now worn out to all gently caress play on local pride. every multinational supermarket seems to do it: pretend to be a good, honest local shop with local things for local people by doing ads in hammed up regional accents and assume people will be naive/thick enough to appreciate that poo poo. i call it the Coohoolin Phenomenon :laugh:

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 13:00

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

quorn

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 14:04

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Gibberish posted:

I work with a guy from near Manchester

He blows his nose like a trumpet loudly in our tiny office, coughs and hacks phlegm and spits it into tissues, then examines it

He has jungle-like nose hair, is super fat, has hosed up teeth and walks like a duck

His only hobbies are talking about how Man U sucks and how great Man City is, and making fart jokes

He reads Viz and Garfield unironically

He refuses to say the word "lunch" because it sounds too much "like a Jessie", and when he hears sad news about someone dying he says "oh my deary, what a shame, bless him"

It's no wonder his wife divorced him because he yelled at "the telly" too much during games

He constantly repeats phrases in lower and lower volumes, like after reading a particularly rib-tickling Viz comic "that's good that... that's good that....... that's good that"

Why is it that all northern English people I have ever met are retarded? the Londoners and people from Brighton or whatever are usually fine. Even the Scots are decent.

a turbogoon

Vitamins posted:

och aye the noo ya wee jessie

one coohoolin is enough :mad:

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 16:29

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

ceylon tea? :awesomelon:

# ¿ Aug 2, 2015 12:09

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

every tea but this tea:

is tea for guardian reading, sandal wearing wally woofters imo

# ¿ Aug 2, 2015 12:15

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

cilla black is dead :rip:

# ¿ Aug 2, 2015 13:04

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

our graham is apparently still alive

# ¿ Aug 2, 2015 13:08

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

freelop posted:

2007 Peugeot 107

"OOH"!

# ¿ Aug 5, 2015 12:29

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Fingerless Gloves posted:

There is an I'll looking magpie hopping about outside so I three him some rice cake through the window and he keeps looking at me either like 'is this a trap are you going to eat me' or 'rice cake are you loving serious'

I just wanted to help you, maggers

i read that first bit in the voice of officer crabtree

# ¿ Aug 7, 2015 13:30

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Jose posted:

i went to aldi before work to get some shopping and the woman in the queue at the till in front of me had a 2 litre bottle of cider and nothing else

when i used to work nights i'd sometimes buy a booze in the morning, and i'd always get judgemental glares and sometimes tsk-tsks

# ¿ Aug 8, 2015 12:51

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

so like is england like part of london :sissies:

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 14:52

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Vitamins posted:

do you know the queen?!!!

is she like, able to just chop peoples' heads off and stuff?! :eek:

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 16:09

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

uuuurgggh piss off, nige

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 17:27

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

i mostly lay around in my pants

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 20:04

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

i didn't involve anyone else in my sex this weekend :cool:

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 20:55

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

UncleBlazer posted:

angry boyfriend

sending a photo of your winky is an even better suggestion now

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 21:19

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

let's all send dick pics :holy:

# ¿ Aug 9, 2015 21:37

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Vitamins posted:

it rained a lot today but was also sunny

i also have a sore throat now, its not a v good day imo

e: now ive run out of wet hot american summer to watch

same, i went for a jog and it was sunny and nice but also pissing down :aaa:

# ¿ Aug 11, 2015 00:36

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

also of note today: when i went to the shops a lady with big hair and wearing several dresses asked me for a pound coin, and when i said i didn't have one she told me, very sternly, that she was an anglo-saxon :catdrugs:

# ¿ Aug 11, 2015 00:38

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

i went jogging a while ago and (i think because of the fruity shampoo i've been using) at one point i had about 6 fat bastard flies orbiting my head. i sprinted v fast with my arms flailing around my head to try to lose them. thankfully i jog in the countryside so afaik only cows witnessed this spectacle

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 11:50

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

and i did a little closed mouth scream tbh

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 11:53

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Aramoro posted:

those seem like v british reactions to a man in a public place with liquid poo poo running down himself

# ¿ Aug 12, 2015 13:44

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Semprini posted:

Only because this particular limited edition hasn't returned:

i used to have bad dreams about the pink one

he tickled me

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 00:53

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

in Belfast Buckfast is often called "wreck the house"

Stella is often referred to as "beat the wife" :/

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 16:17

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

my terrible secret is that i never outgrew this:

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 16:24

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

i like it so much i carry around a tube and sneak little tastes throughout my days

# ¿ Aug 13, 2015 16:27

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

RIP blakey

# ¿ Aug 14, 2015 12:56

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

boy george looks like ming the merciless now

crispix fucked around with this message at 14:56 on Aug 14, 2015

# ¿ Aug 14, 2015 14:49

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

hi!

# ¿ Aug 15, 2015 12:25

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

JFairfax posted:

which one is fraction?

# ¿ Aug 15, 2015 23:31

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

why do so many people think doing pretend legalese is the correct way to word things they type at work. like using more words makes you a serious and important person :shepface:

and everything is regarding something

# ¿ Aug 16, 2015 12:53

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 11:32

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

where is the list of approved topics to discuss itt? i don't want to post incorrectly :ohdear:

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 14:36

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