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hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

drunkill posted:

How about that cricket game chaps?

- luv, oztrayla
We in Scotland would like to make it our national sport, as it seems to involve hitting things with sticks for 5 days.

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hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

hemale in pain posted:

whats everyone favourite coffee shop?
Laboratorio Espresso in Glasgow. Wanky as all hell, but the coffee's good enough that I don't mind.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Fluo posted:

open a can of surströmming inside

Good advice for any building you don't live or work in, imo.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Aramoro posted:

We've solved this in Scotland by saying you cannot buy alcohol before 10am. That's why we have no alcoholics anymore
I used to work in a Glasgow pub that had queues outside the door at 11am, every weekday.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Ratjaculation posted:

best man speech guidance pls

Look up best man speeches on youtube, steal the jokes you think will work.
Remember that everyone present wants you to succeed, try not to piss this goodwill away.
Most brides will straight-up murder you if you ruin their wedding day, possibly tell her in advance what you're planning on saying so she can veto any bits involving her that her family shouldn't hear. The groom gets no such veto powers.
Mock the groom, but remember this isn't a night in the pub. Frankie Boyle is very good at his act. You are not. Do not copy him.
Keep it short. This allows you to make a 'speech as long as the groom lasts in bed' joke, which usually goes down well ("Like the bride!!!!1111eleventy")

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Bobby Deluxe posted:

why not say 'no because its loving smirnoff ice you girl' then hit them with it
Bottling people at weddings, while expected up here in Scotland, is frowned upon in some other parts of the UK.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004


Their songs weren't that offensive.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Aramoro posted:

As far as I know Edinburgh is the fastest parkrun because it's also the easiest, even goons can do it.

I think Strathclyde is fast too, it's almost entirely flat.

Plus it has a loch to cool off in (don't do this) and a poo poo theme park next to it.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Bozza posted:

roast beef is the best monster munch.
Only because this particular limited edition hasn't returned:

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Fluo posted:

The goon approved coffee sperg site is http://www.hasbean.co.uk/

Order before 4pm turns up next day and roasted by order

Running low so ordering some for saturday after work
I've been using pact until now, might give these guys a try.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

NaDy posted:

are parkruns a particular length or do you just leg it round a field until you've decided you've earnt a big mac?

5k

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

corn in the fridge posted:

she thinks that if i can afford to buy a ps4 then i should be putting that money towards the deposit instead it's all very frustrating
The trick is to win a PS4 in a competition. One of those competitions where you just enter your card details and you win. Amazon do them a lot.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

TEAYCHES posted:

cornish is a really bad sounding word, it doesnt sound cool at all. why do they call themselves cornish??

Because 'inbred hicks' is even less appealing.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Ratjaculation posted:

why are there train strikes?
Because people ignore the barriers at level crossings.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Ratjaculation posted:

whats everyone up to tonight?

I went to the ice hockey. It was good and Braehead won, although I have once again shredded my vocal cords.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Phoon posted:

gently caress braehead, blaze forever!!!
Them's fightin' words.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Phoon posted:

go see a hockey game

e: and get drunk there
But not in Toronto, because the Maple Leafs are shite.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Party Boat posted:

just seen two men eat a plate of nachos with knifes and forks
Changed my mind on the death penalty, bring it back for people who do this.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Jose posted:

the ai mod is really bad and probates people for posting hello in the chat thread :wtc:
If I was AI mod I'd probate anyone who drove on the right.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Solefald posted:

I went to Leeds for a silly metal festival and now I am dead.



Hello
I am clearly getting old because I was not aware of a metal festival happening.

As opposed to a few years ago when I would have been aware of the festival but unable to attend. Decent lineup?

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Bobby Deluxe posted:

my 360 controllers started to crap out a week before i got my ps4 :(

That's a lot of controllers.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

learnincurve posted:

Mongrels live longer no question, but there is a downside to getting a mongrel rescue in that you don't know what the temperament will be like.

--What kind of dog do you have?
--A Labradoodle.
--Oh, a mongrel. Cool.

I will never tire of the reaction this gets.


(Also West Highland Terriers are the best dogs)

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Merry Christmas, fuckers.

I'm going to try and set a new record later today, by having my family go two years without a massive argument at the christmas dinner table.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

freelop posted:

I'd like to say it will be great to go back to work tomorrow
But I'd be lying

Living in the superior part of the UK, I'm still on holiday tomorrow. I plan to spend it watching Japanese wrestling at an ungodly hour and consuming as much tea and bacon as I can.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

DrWrestling69 posted:

I was going for a run but it was very cold and then snowing for several hours so I went to the gym instead.

I was going to go to the gym but it was very cold outside and my bed was warm so I stayed there.

My plan of avoiding the cold will be undone by going to the ice hockey tonight.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Jose posted:

posting about it with a cop itt is especially risky

If you don't go through the self checkout and scan every item as onions then you're doing life wrong.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Hello from Swansea!

Long work trips are the worst.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Jose posted:

I didn't read that

I read it hoping the punchline would be that the kid got hit by an asteroid or a falling dolphin or something.

I chose poorly.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Bozza posted:

When I was there we went to Spoons, then to The Old Hairdressers then I had to go cos some poo poo came up.

I have no recollection of anything post-Spoons.

My alcohol tolerance may or may not be shot to ribbons.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

lenoon posted:

I have found the easiest pub quiz of all time, I'm now farming it for 40quid of free drinks every monday

Where is it? We keep finishing second or third and missing out on a £50 bar tab.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Bozza posted:

In other news, just got tickets to the Toronto Maple Leafs for when I'm in Canada :toot:
Who are they playing? You might get to see one good hockey team if the visitors are decent.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Bozza posted:

Columbus Blue Jackets who are probably terrible because I've never even heard of them.
Your instincts are correct.

Though if you do enjoy the hockey, you should totally come along to Braehead one Saturday. Ideally a Saturday the Clan are at home.

hyper from Pixie Sticks fucked around with this message at 16:13 on Mar 11, 2016

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Pedricko posted:

Which one of you sent a furry convention to my market

Probably Taff, so a future stairsing seems less bad in comparison.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Cost my team £50 at tonight's pub quiz with a mistake in the landmine round. Would have won by a point. Shameful.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

The Big Taff Man posted:

was the answer princess diana

No, but the round's named after her "because she loved landmines".

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Morning.

Work's closed and I'm still in bed, so this certainly is a Good Friday.

Unless you're the sucker who got nailed to a cross.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Erm I think you'll find the true point of Easter is to celebrate on Sunday, when the graverobbers did their thing.

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

buteruc posted:

Tomorrow's the Boat Race, but I can't be arsed to go down to London to watch.
Is one of the secondary boats still called ISIS?

hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Won the pub quiz tonight. Turns out one of the keys to victory is to get there early and choose the right table so that the team that usually has about 8 people can't all fit in and have to split up. It's a lot harder to win when you can't bring an entire loving postcode with you.

Also helps if you know the answers. Which we did. £50 bar tab, so next week's food and drink is basically already paid for. A good evening.

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hyper from Pixie Sticks
Sep 28, 2004

Bozza posted:

Got a decent performance review which is nice except due to budget cuts and government messing my pay rise will be dogshit.
Hark at Big Jimmy Payrise here.

I may or may not be bitter because the pension / NI changes mean I actually get a pay cut from April.

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