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InitialDave posted:What is it with sodding 20th Century Fox blu-rays? My player has the newest firmware, yet won't recognise my Kingsman disc. Apparently they're known to be bad for these problems? people still buys their movies on discs? mind blown 
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Aug 2, 2015 00:07
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 07:50 |
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Super Aggro Crag posted:I paid $180 for SunTek HP tint but I've had to reschedule like 3 times now cuz of work. All black interior is killer in the summer. dident you get fired? should maxe scheduling easier atleast. Anyways, i dont think this 1950s approach to dealing with my emotions is going to last any longer. every other day it really just hits me like a hammer. I never really dealt with my feelings. everytime something felt lovely i just focus on something else and move on, sorta pushing the bad stuff to the bottom of the drawer in the dark hole that is my soul. But lately these moments of weakness has gotten real regular and more violent. i can be lying in bed next to my wife, struggeling to fall asleep and just starting to...shake. all the poo poo that has being hidden in my "mind basement" just rushes forward and strangle my brain. cancer poo poo, old afghanistan poo poo, mean ex girlfriends, hell, even the time i pushed my buddy of his bike when we where 13 comes back and just drowns my ability to think in guilt, fear,confusion and darkness. I try to put up an armour of self ridicule about my disease, and i know i am on my way to recovery. but i think the sum of hiding away serious doubts and fear for the last 18 months are finally greater then my resolve. From being told that it was just routine and i would be well in three months to some months later mentally preparing to not being able to see my kids grow up. and then going back to being on the path to recovery. i dont want to sound like a pussy, but it has been really really tough. I have never ever talked about any negative emotions, or emotions at all really, it just never was room for it in our family. it was allways handled like any other pain, just walk it of and be quiet. I dont think i ever really have sat down and thought about how i feel about things. and when my feelings now are so loving up front in my brain i have no qlue what to do. no sleep the last 74 hours or so. I had to stop the car earlier today and just cried my brains for 35 mins. I think i am finally going totally insane. and not like... good insane, like roadkill or madmax insane. but like, walking around in a trenchcoat with a brick in your left pocket and a live chicken in the other. I seriously think i should be committed, i cant deal with this poo poo. most of all, i should probably tell my wife or something. she is a doctor, she fixes broken people. i just dont want to bother anyone with my crazyness
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Aug 6, 2015 03:20
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Phonepostin from the loony bin. The doctor at the er recommended 72 hours of inpatient treatment while my brain sorta lands. I can leave if i want to. But i have a feeling that some good sleep and what they called an intro to therapy where i have two sessions a day is good for me.
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Aug 6, 2015 13:25
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14 INCH SLIT posted:I wasn't allowed a phone at my involuntarilies I am volunteering, actually i am volunteering to obey their ruleset and to stay the full stint. i can remove my consent at any time but i really dont see the point. i only get to have my phone in periods of the day and at night to listen to podcast. i have a feeling that with the meds i on atm i probably wont make it past the plugs on the beginning of freakonomics. There really was no viable "middle of the road" solution for me about this. the doctor at the er told me that my option was either waiting for 6-26 weeks for a therapist to be aviable for sessions, or a short stint as an inpatient. the way this works is that every patient being released from inpatient facilities gets an offer for 10-20 sessions starting maximum 48hrs after their release. the kind doctor told me that the main goal for me these next days are getting used to the idea of counselling and sleeping. the sessions here have basicly been about making a plan for the therapy the comming weeks. i should have done this months ago. and sincerly, dudes and dudettes, thank you for the support. you rock. and for gently caress sake 14. put that piece of lung back where it came from
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Aug 6, 2015 19:48
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FREEDOM!!! I guess i needed that, now its time to bottle up my emotions untill my next breakdown... Only kidding, therapy starts wednesday. Good job on staying sober STR. i am proud of you.
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Aug 10, 2015 13:19
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Super Aggro Crag posted:I will stab you with Dr. Suess' old rusty dildo. whatever happend to dinner and a movie first?
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Aug 10, 2015 23:25
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god, my legs hurts from yesterdays bike ride. my cancer treatment is going great tho, if everything goes to plan i only have 4 weeks of radiation left, then a 12week chemo and then...i should be done. my not being crazy treatment is also going kinda ok, therapy really helps. Our startup business is really going balls out. or, two of us are doing great and our third partner is...doing gently caress all. last week he did 12 hours of billable work. and since we take out pay based on billables that should not be an issue, problem is that i am working on one major contract that eats all my time, and work is stacking up for the two others due to one of them being so..slow. me being away probably did not help the situation, but in honest. the contract i work on is very long term and the only one i was hurting work wise with my "gone crazy" break was my self. but in lighter news. i have been cleared medically to work proper firefighter shifts again, and will be doing a 50% shift load for the FD from next week. i cant wait to be back doing what i love. oh, and also. i ate fresh baked bread with goat cheese for breakfast, alongside two glasses of orange juice.
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Aug 19, 2015 12:46
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CAT INTERCEPTOR posted:10,000 kms this year on the bike already this year. Not bad you are a loving animal, i have yet to pass 2k km this year. cant wait to test my new insoles today tho
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Aug 20, 2015 14:47
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my tummy hurst, we went to the cabin this weekend and picked a ton of blueberries (75kgs) and for supper today we made pancakes with fresh stirred blueberries. i ate so much that my gi tract is declaring war
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Aug 24, 2015 02:11
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doing my first proper shift at the firehouse since i got sick, figures we get a massive thunderstorm with floods, fires and all the other good stuff. i feel loving spectacular, except that some of these new guys makes me feel old...
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Aug 27, 2015 16:27
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goats are metal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjlHqdaijJk and why are we talking about dicks?
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Aug 28, 2015 23:01
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for some reason the lead singer of norwegian black metal band "satyricon" fondles goat horns while on stage... now i get it
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Aug 28, 2015 23:37
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When i came here yesterday to tell you the good news i was afraid to interrupt dickchat. so i waited and got drunk instead. yesterday, august 28th at 1335 hours, the year of our lord 2015 i was declared cancer free. there is no evidence of mutation anywhere in my body. i am done.... 76 doses of chemo, 6 surgeries and 184 radiation treatments is behind me... (not really behind me, i am starting a 12 week aggressive chemo course to make sure in 4 weeks) i hosed cancer in the rear end, and it gave in before me..
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Aug 29, 2015 14:37
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Raluek posted:You made your bed; you're the one who's going to have to sleep in it. More like..."parking"
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Aug 30, 2015 00:36
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Raluek posted:To be fair, she is an acquaintance of Rhyno's.  Hah, i became the national champion in 1/8 electric rc cars today. race was local so i showed up for fun in my broken rear end ten year old buggy. i even got sponsored before i got home. this week is best week
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Aug 30, 2015 14:42
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put in a bid on a pickup. hope he takes it.. i like pickup trucks, and my wife wants to be the only doctor driving to work in one
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Aug 31, 2015 17:44
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| # ¿ Apr 27, 2024 07:50 |
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LloydDobler posted:If fjelltorsk somehow dies today he's gonna feel soooooooooooooooo dumb. would be a shame, ill try to stay safe.
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Aug 31, 2015 20:43
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