Awful Survivor GBS: Do not whisper sweet nothings to your erlenmeyer flask

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > Awful Survivor GBS: Do not whisper sweet nothings to your erlenmeyer flask

«‹›54 »

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

Awful Survivor returns after a bit of a layover, and I'm steering this ship once again! Prepare yourself for the ~~John Cena Fever Dream Experience~~ one of the more sadistic Awful Survivors yet, as presented by me, Minoru Suzuki! This season is a return to form, a grueling simplistic back to basics format. Sixteen players, a more condensed, intense collective of tribes, who will fight for survival. The game is called Survivor because it's about survival of the fittest. If you're the weakest of your tribe, you will be voted out and eliminated. Not what you want happening to you. About close to halfway through, the two tribes will merge into one, and the game is absolutely and individual one from that point on. If you're voted out, you are done and your game is over. Your goal is to survive eliminations all the way to the end, and from a jury of your peers consisted of those who have been voted out, to be voted Sole Survivor and winner of the $75 Amazon.com Gift Card prize. Play with honesty and integrity, with heart and courage, you may win. Lie, steal, betray, act without recourse or regret, you may still win. There is no one way to secure victory. It lies solely within your own hands.

Each week, there will be two challenges and two tribal councils. At the challenges, you compete for Immunity. If you have immunity, you are 100% safe. You will be guaranteed to not go home. It's easily the most important prize to have, and it literally makes zero sense to throw competitions to attain it. Plus, we are introducing a new mechanic this season. If you perform well and win at challenges, you as an individual can earn :10bux:

AWFULBUX :10bux:

What this ingame currency can be used for will be made clear later in the game. Trust me, you want to collect as many as you can. There is also the Hidden Immunity Idol: The Hidden Idol this time still works the same. When played while the votes are cast but before they are read, anyone who has a Hidden Immunity Idol played on them, will have all votes for them that Tribal Council canceled out, and the person with the next highest number of votes will go home. This season, there is only one Hidden Idol. There will be no clues for it. If it's used, it's gone forever. If you're holding it and fail to play it and get voted out, it's gone forever. You will know when you've found it as it self identifies as a Hidden Immunity Idol. Where it is hidden, nobody knows.

16 players, two tribes, six weeks, one survivor. It's up to you to decide how you will win.

Weekly Schedule
_{Monday: Challenge usually around 7:00pm EST

Tuesday: Tribal Council usually around 6:00pm EST, Midnight deadline

Wednesday: Challenge usually around 7:00pm EST

Thursday: Tribal Council usually around 6:00pm EST, Midnight deadline}

La'Beouf Tribe

ing yourself for any rule with a :siren:

in it. Violating these big-time rules will result in a ban. It's not that hard to not cheat.

There will be 16 players. Every single player is a survivor. The goal is to make it to the end of the game � standing alone above all other competitors.
Players will be split into different tribes that will initially compete with each other. You must work together, or against each other, in order to be the sole survivor. There will only be one winner.
If you don't have platinum, you're not getting cast. PMs are a required functionality for the game to work.
You are playing for a grand prize! The winner of Survivor will win a $75 Amazon.com Giftcard., with the Runner-Up/Runners Up winning $25. Sharing of this prize/Conspiracy of sharing/splitting/buying another player something with it is strictly forbidden.
Tribal Councils (in which one player is removed from the game) will be held every Tuesday and Thursday. Votes will be taken privately by me (Minoru Suzuki) and later published, anonymously. The player with the highest number of votes will be removed from the game. This will be announced in the thread. During Tribal Council, you may only vote for your fellow tribemates, and you MUST vote. Failure to vote will result in a penalty vote against yourself.
While alive, you may communicate out of thread with anyone that is in your own tribe. You are expected to plot against each other and make alliances and fake alliances. It is not essential to do this though... unless you want to win. If you ignore everyone out of thread, you have a death wish.
If you are voted out, you are not allowed to communicate with anyone alive/on the jury in the game. You may only contact fellow jurors in the Ponderosa page, and only if you yourself are a juror.
You are not permitted to speak with any potential players about the game before it begins. This is mostly to effectively discourage pre-game alliances, and any long-term tainting of the game itself. Please play with SOME semblance of honor to keep things somewhat fair. Don't be a butt.
No bribing other players. You cannot use money or currency equivalent to coerce players to do something. The fact that I actually have to write this rule out is stupid as hell.
When voted out, you are allowed to make only one post as a goodbye message, with a maximum of 100 words. No workarounds/linking to a bigger message or anything cute like that.
There will be individual challenges and team challenges. These will be posted at a time that best suits all people in-thread (usually 5:00-7:00PM EST). Some of these will be timed so you might be disadvantaged if you cannot be around. Some challenges which can have ties will be won by the first person to submit their result.
For the individual challenges, the winner will be rewarded with immunity from being voted out at Tribal Council. For groups challenges the tribes will be competing against each other. The losing tribe will be forced to go to Tribal Council, where they will have to vote out one of their own.
NO EDITING YOUR POSTS EVER!!!! Evidence of editing can result in punishment ranging from a challenge disqualification to a forced removal from the game depending on the severity and frequency. Ninja edits may be ignored but abuse will be punished.
Do not post/send chatlogs in this thread/via PM/note inside a bottle drifted through the ocean/etc. Please do not be a shitbag!!!!!
Mods need to be given access to any communication between more than two castaways. A link to a doc, IRC room, whatever. PM one of the mods (to be picked after cast is finalized) with how to access whatever you're using to talk. You don't need to do this if you are just communicating with a single other person, only if you are at least 3 people talking outside of your tribe doc.

Viewer's Vista

La'Beouf Tribe
Radium Tribe
Ralp Tribe

EARLIER SEASONS

Links to previous threads:

Awful Survivor: You Look Like poo poo
Awful Survivor: Goons in Platoons
Awful Survivor: ADTRW
Awful Survivor: BYOB
Awful Survivor: Pet Island
Awful Survivor: Sports Argument Stadium
Awful Survivor: Goons With Spoons
Awful Survivor: The Game Room

RULES FOR THE VIEWERS' VISTA

There will be a special Viewer's Only page, where non-players can see some content unavailable in the thread or to the actual players of the game, ranging from player's confessionals and snippets of their out of thread interactions to their voting histories and some advance knowledge on upcoming twists and turns, along with some other perks. If you would like access to the Vista, please PM me a request. However...
What goes on in the Vista, stays in the Vista. This is by far the most important rule of the viewer's vista. Nothing that is posted in there may be posted in the thread or leaked to players. Keep it in the Vista!!!
You are not allowed to communicate with the players in the game. Unless they were voted out pre-jury, you flat out cannot communicate with any player of the game as long as it is going on. This is essential to keep things fair and to avoid providing information to players that could impact the game.

STING 64 fucked around with this message at 02:31 on Oct 1, 2015

# ? Aug 23, 2015 20:25

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 13:36

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

Players

Ralp Tribe

Username: JakeP
A/S/L30 male Boston
Why I'm going to win: I went into Awful Big Brother pretty cocky, and am trying to approach this more realistically and just trying to do my best. I understand that things happen outside of my control, so I guess I will just try to position myself the best I can to last into the late game.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: sell it so i can buy heroes of the storm skins in the hit blizzard team brawler Heroes of the Storm
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "Farted out my butt and it smells real stink
when my cat smelled it I gave her a wink
i shat my pants on the forth of july
i kept wearin those pants and now I have flies
me and my flies kick it just right
playin with my fly buddies drat near all night
get real high when I huff on dat glue
if you're lucky ill share some with you

Never wash your clothes because then you'll get a rash

Only bathe for christmas
"

Username: imgay
A/S/L 24 male florida
Why I'm going to win: you gotta play hard to get hard and im very hard
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: video games
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "I'm ripping through this noise
Playing with all my naughty toys.
You gotta love all the boys.
Even in bed sometimes we coys"

Username: Magnus Gallant
A/S/L 25 m NC
Why I'm going to win: I have a beard
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: Buy a bunch of books I have on my save for later page.
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "I am a cheeseball,
I am very small. "

Username: Ironic Twist
A/S/L 24 Male NJ
Why I'm going to win: I stay level-headed, and when I'm not, at least I'm charming about it. I can outplay you and make you love me for it.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: Buy books, and then buy more books.
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "I'm one, you're two's.
I bleed, you bruise.
I sprint, you cruise.
I'm rhythm, you're blues.
I work, pay dues.
You're spent, old news.
Die when? You choose.
I win, you lose."

Username: bowmore
A/S/L 27 Male Oztralia
Why I'm going to win: Because I have learned what needs to be done, also I am tenacious.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: "buy paper cards that I will used to play paper fight men

or buy my cat a toy"
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "baby if you call my name
woah oh
we can kiss the night away"

Username: curiousCat
A/S/L 24 F Tampa/FL/USA
Why I'm going to win: I probably won't! Statistically, that's the truth. But I love strategy games and the like, so I do think that I will have a good chance as long as I can keep up with the social side of things.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: Probably buy things to draw on, like placemats and bedsheets
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "What is a poem?
what are the requirements?
is haiku okay?"

Username: fast luck
A/S/L 33 m md
Why I'm going to win: there's 18 people. im not going to win. if im going to actually confront the question though i guess id say... because of large amounts of care.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: ask it to be sent to my paypal like mmm did, thats money in the bank yo Mod note: After issues with a prior request of this nature, this will not be a fulfillable request.
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "if poetry class is in session
then teach us all a lesson
show us youre clever
with the best tree mail ever"

Username: Tremendous Taste
A/S/L 23 Male EST, probably
Why I'm going to win: Probably won't, but I might be the best player.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: I'm going to use it to fund some desperate author to write a history of awful survivor
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "I join, hesitant.
Do I have more to prove here?
Without a win, yes."

Radium Tribe

Username: Meinberg
A/S/L 32 Male The Land of the Forgotten
Why I'm going to win: "The tempest blows, and the world wracks. Chaos has been allowed to linger for too long. A new hand is needed to return to these lands, to unite the people in a spirit of joy and understanding. Not a cruel tyrant, but a builder of consensus and a sharer of dreams. A man who make the impossible real, and bring forth the wonder of a lost age.

I will show all the light of the world, the pain that they have lost, and the glories that they rejoice in. And I will let them bring me to victory."
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: I shall acquire fine drink and cheese.
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "drip
dripdirippippp
tiny little shadows dancing
heavy memories fresh on the brow
awak en to devestation
and heartily call to lost paths and poor remembrance
of times gone by
the sleeper has awoken past is prologue new chapters
now"

Username: Dragonatrix
A/S/L 23 M United Kingdom
Why I'm going to win: Because I am cool and awesome and perfect. Also because I know what pitfalls to avoid but still somehow fall in them and make it look like I planned that.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: Keep hold of it for until I think I really need it, but forget I have it a few days later.
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "roses are red
woodchips are beige
i lost the key
to let you out of that cage"

:chloe:

Username: K-ParAdoX
A/S/L 30 Male I guess West Haven, CT
Why I'm going to win: Because I can be a shitbag while still following the "don't be a shitbag" rules. I'm hilarious and weird, and people think I'm the nicest guy around. I put french fries on my cheeseburger and wear a silly hat every third Wednesday of the solstice. Your hair is pretty.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: I will either be responsible and use it for expensive school poo poo or I'll get a really lovely graphics card so I can play games on my PC.
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "Mary had a little lamb
It's fleece as white as snow
I killed it for a coat and food
Now weeping Mary is my ho"

Username: Blanketspace
A/S/L 19 Male Tucson, Arizona, USA
Why I'm going to win: I'm a very competitive person despite being friendly and personable. I will push my own agenda, and I will negotiate with others to my benefit if I can. I'm a student, so I can put a decent amount of my life into this.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: Have a dedicated fund for AV cables and house sundries!
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "its a prose poem ok

�Dad?� I wondered, two gentle syllables forming from one, rolling across the lush deep green lawn of late summer, buying time for the thoughts still forming as the words began. �Why can�t I be an adult?�

�Mom?� I mused, my curiosity aroused, thoughts coming more quickly now. The words flashed, glimmering with insight and intensity. �Is the world you see as lovely as the one you paint?�

I never heard the reply, because I never truly dared ask. I believe I already know, and it�s out there, stashed in the hushed and darkened recesses of my golden childhood."

Username: Murmur Twin
A/S/L 35 female Boston
Why I'm going to win: I won once, suck at challenges, and won't be here on the 23rd (I'm going to a music festival from Aug 21-3rd and will be driving home on the 24th) so it's entirely likely I will be one of the first people eliminated. I enjoy the challenge.
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: If history is any indication I will forget that I have it for a year and then let my boyfriend spend it on art supplies
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "self-referential
haiku, used to apply for
awful survivor"

Username: Nexal
A/S/L 24 Male Utopia of Sweden
Why I'm going to win: "If I were to win then that would mean that I socially bonded with the right people and managed to use them to my advantage to move forward in this game.
Also nobody would want to eliminate the bartender. I deliver cocktail recipes of every player that gets voted out till I get voted out myself."
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: http://www.amazon.com/Think-Like-Ch...ds=donald+trump
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "Autumn apples makes cocktails sour
As it happens syrup is the thing to pour
So that you have right balance before it's your hour
This will give you power as if this poem was made for this hour"

Username: Max Peck
A/S/L 29 Male Ohio--I only live in states that are at least two-thirds vowels.
Why I'm going to win: I've been practicing even harder (this is a lie), and will completely sweep the immunity challenges (this is also a lie).
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: "Board games, for sure this time!

Or possibly a phone headset for work. One of the two."
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "Empty, silent beach:
The sun slowly warms it up
For the next season

(y'see, a haiku is supposed to contain a seasonal reference and... aw, skip it)"

Username: winvirus
A/S/L 24/immortal male georgia
Why I'm going to win: hel;p
What am I going to do with the LIFE CHANGING POCKET BOOK FATTENING SEVENTY FIVE DOLAR AMAZON DOT COM GIFT CARD: you said $100!!! also probably buy some games or something Mod note: we said $100 in prizes. 75 to winner and 25 to first runner up = 100.
write me a poem. no plagiarising. "why am i voluntarily signing up for this hell
this................................will not end well"

# ? Aug 23, 2015 20:25

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

The first challenge for Tribal Immunity will occur tomorrow, at 7:00PM EST. I'm going to take time right now to tell everyone to assume all challenges are not mobile friendly. Any failure to make a challenge or participate is on you, everything was laid out in the sign up thread when you applied.

# ? Aug 23, 2015 20:39

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

Whoever finds the idol can I please have it?

# ? Aug 23, 2015 20:46

Meinberg: Oct 9, 2011; inspired by but legally distinct from CATS (2019)

JakeP posted:

Whoever finds the idol can I please have it?

Oh, and so JakeP begins by casting the card of the Fool, signifying the beginning of this, the new Hero's Journey.

# ? Aug 23, 2015 20:51

winvirus: Jan 23, 2009; You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

curiousCat you're 24 and in tampa? i'm 24 and i grew up in tampa. wouldnt it be hilarious if we actually knew eachother irl

# ? Aug 23, 2015 20:53

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

Hi winv <3

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:00

winvirus: Jan 23, 2009; You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

Tremendous Taste posted:

Hi winv <3

my man.

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:03

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

im also 24 and in tampa

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:05

Meinberg: Oct 9, 2011; inspired by but legally distinct from CATS (2019)

Let us all be friends, and not descend into aggression or self-destructive behavior. Let us work together to see that our time here is the best for all involved. Through cooperation and honesty, we can become mighty.

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:05

winvirus: Jan 23, 2009; You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

imgay posted:

im also 24 and in tampa

whoa

either of you go there through high school or nah

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:06

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

i grew up in orlando, I just go to USF now

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:09

winvirus: Jan 23, 2009; You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

imgay posted:

i grew up in orlando, I just go to USF now

whatcha studying?

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:13

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

econ

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:15

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

the term is "I am an economist"

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:16

winvirus: Jan 23, 2009; You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

well good luck buddy

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:18

winvirus: Jan 23, 2009; You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

the opportunity cost of this game is your humanity :twisted:

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:19

Max Peck: Oct 12, 2013; You know you're having a bad day when a Cylon ambush would improve it.

I thought that was the opportunity cost of studying econ?

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:20

curiousCat: Sep 23, 2012; Does this look like the face of mercy, kupo?

alliance of geographical convenience clearly

# ? Aug 23, 2015 21:24

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

tragedy of the commons

# ? Aug 23, 2015 22:00

curiousCat: Sep 23, 2012; Does this look like the face of mercy, kupo?

winvirus posted:

curiousCat you're 24 and in tampa? i'm 24 and i grew up in tampa. wouldnt it be hilarious if we actually knew eachother irl

I am a military brat so this is doubtful I should mention

# ? Aug 23, 2015 22:03

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

I wanna send a confessional!!!!! >: (

# ? Aug 23, 2015 22:08

Max Peck: Oct 12, 2013; You know you're having a bad day when a Cylon ambush would improve it.

Tremendous Taste posted:

I wanna send a confessional!!!!! >: (

Confessional: the Ralp tribe smells

Secret bonus confessional: I'm pretty sure this joke's been done before but I don't care

# ? Aug 23, 2015 22:52

Nexal: Apr 21, 2010; Moby - Extreme ways

Sunday evenings with a taste of Japanese beer?

Cheers for another game of Awful Survivor! :guinness:

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:01

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

i usually serve my beer on a bamboo mat and garnish with flowers

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:05

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

bamboo mats are the strongest mats

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:13

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

I've decided to exhibit the slightest bit of restraint and not install Skype on my phone this time.

Namaste and hello nexal

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:35

imgay: May 12, 2014; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Tremendous Taste posted:

I've decided to exhibit the slightest bit of restraint and not install Skype on my phone this time.

Namaste and hello nexal

so who am i talking too on skype then...

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:38

Nexal: Apr 21, 2010; Moby - Extreme ways

Tremendous Taste posted:

I've decided to exhibit the slightest bit of restraint and not install Skype on my phone this time.

Namaste and hello nexal

Namaste. How are you these days?

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:39

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

imgay posted:

so who am i talking too on skype then...

I set my pc on autopilot

Nexal posted:

Namaste. How are you these days?

I'm ok, all things considered. I hope the same, or better?

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:41

Nexal: Apr 21, 2010; Moby - Extreme ways

Tremendous Taste posted:

I'm ok, all things considered. I hope the same, or better?

Things are going well.
I have gotten a new job and found some love along the way.

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:44

t a s t e: Sep 6, 2010

That's wonderful! I'll have to keep pace

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:45

Nexal: Apr 21, 2010; Moby - Extreme ways

Tremendous Taste posted:

That's wonderful! I'll have to keep pace

You have a fabulous avatar.

# ? Aug 23, 2015 23:46

winvirus: Jan 23, 2009; You only delay the inevitable. All of this island will soon belong to me.

curiousCat posted:

I am a military brat so this is doubtful I should mention

oh probably not then. its just always cool meeting people who are in tampa because its where i grew up, so thats my story, i hope you enjoyed it.

# ? Aug 24, 2015 00:33

STING 64: Oct 20, 2006

# ? Aug 24, 2015 01:28

JakeP: Apr 27, 2003; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS; Lipstick Apathy

lol could you be more obvious???

# ? Aug 24, 2015 01:50

Max Peck: Oct 12, 2013; You know you're having a bad day when a Cylon ambush would improve it.

No, see, it's a brilliant bluff, the picture's actually really relevant.

# ? Aug 24, 2015 01:52

Meinberg: Oct 9, 2011; inspired by but legally distinct from CATS (2019)

curiousCat posted:

I am a military brat so this is doubtful I should mention

Oh hey, I am also a military brat! I'm an old man, so it's unlikely we know we each other, but it's an interesting life experience that I can definitely relate to. My family was stationed over in Germany and England for the vast majority of my childhood, which was pretty nifty.

# ? Aug 24, 2015 02:10

Meinberg: Oct 9, 2011; inspired by but legally distinct from CATS (2019)

Also, the image is clearly not important. Not important at all. Ignore the image.

# ? Aug 24, 2015 02:16

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 13:36

Max Peck: Oct 12, 2013; You know you're having a bad day when a Cylon ambush would improve it.

Meinberg posted:

Also, the image is clearly not important. Not important at all. Ignore the image.

Image is love, image is life.

# ? Aug 24, 2015 02:19

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Traditional Games > The Game Room > Awful Survivor GBS: Do not whisper sweet nothings to your erlenmeyer flask

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