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kikkelivelho
Aug 27, 2015



goatse.cx haver posted:

two finns walk into a bar, four hours later one says "so how are the wife and kids?" the other one downs his beer, slams it on the table, walks out and drowns himself in the lake

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XK9Wh_hEL8

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DeepQantas
Jan 13, 2008

Ah, to be a Hero... Keeping such company...


goatse.cx haver posted:

a finnish man and woman are talking
what is this, a joke?

Metanaut
Oct 9, 2006

Honey it's tight like that.

College Slice

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUyFg9xoPKk

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005




Finland seems like Minnesota without any white people.

quakster
Jul 21, 2007

by FactsAreUseless


Bip Roberts posted:

Finland seems like Minnesota without any white people.
there's always those 40 guys who think they're white and hassle people for no good reason

kikkelivelho
Aug 27, 2015




How is this not the dream and live goal of every human being? I just don't understand those Iraqis, they were offered the keys to teh paradise and they walk away.

Drake_263
Mar 31, 2010


Fashionable Jorts posted:

Nah, they just gave it the nickname. Firebombs like that had been used for hundreds of years, and were especially popular during the Spanish Civil war a few years earlier. However, they became a staple among the Finns due to the poo poo design of the Russian tanks. Firebombs were used to blind the crew; you set the tank on fire and the people inside can't see what they are shooting at. But these terrible tanks would suck in the flames and bad things would happen.

There's a story behind the name, actually. During the war, the Russians used these giantass cluster bombs to bombard Finnish cities, while one of their politicians - named mMlotov - loudly denied accusations of bombing civilian targets, claiming they were shipments of bread to a starving people. So Finns started first calling those bombs 'Molotov breadboxes'.. and when they started mixing firebombs, they'd say they were sending Molotov a drink back as a thank-you for all the bread.

So yeah. Don't gently caress with a Finn - we don't get even, we get creative.

Drake_263 fucked around with this message at Sep 27, 2015 around 17:10

Triple A
Jul 14, 2010

Your sword, sahib.

Warbadger posted:

The T-34 of the time was a pretty good on-paper tank. It had a good gun and it had thick, sloped armor.

What it did not have is a dedicated tank commander (the same guy shots the gun and tried to direct the crew), good radios, good visibility around the tank, or a precise method of steering. The engines also killed themselves super fast due to the filters not actually filtering dust and sand, but that wasn't really an issue so much in Finland.

by "for their time", i do mean they were better than what most other armies were using at the time

nobody else besides Germany had that well developed armored forces in 1939

Drake_263 posted:

There's a story behind the name, actually. During the war, the Russians used these giantass cluster bombs to bombard Finnish cities, while one of their politicians - named mMlotov - loudly denied accusations of bombing civilian targets, claiming they were shipments of bread to a starving people. So Finns started first calling those bombs 'Molotov breadboxes'.. and when they started mixing firebombs, they'd say they were sending Molotov a drink back as a thank-you for all the bread.

So yeah. don't gently caress with a Finn - we don't get even, we get creative.

Molotov specifically was the foreign secretary of the USSR

he's one of the minds behind the molotov-ribbentrop treaty

etalian
Mar 20, 2006


Drake_263 posted:

There's a story behind the name, actually. During the war, the Russians used these giantass cluster bombs to bombard Finnish cities, while one of their politicians - named mMlotov - loudly denied accusations of bombing civilian targets, claiming they were shipments of bread to a starving people. So Finns started first calling those bombs 'Molotov breadboxes'.. and when they started mixing firebombs, they'd say they were sending Molotov a drink back as a thank-you for all the bread.

So yeah. don't gently caress with a Finn - we don't get even, we get creative.

I like the story on how finns would place frozen russian soldiers upright next to roads to troll the russians.

ditty bout my clitty
May 28, 2011

by FactsAreUseless


Fun Shoe

Drake_263 posted:

There's a story behind the name, actually. During the war, the Russians used these giantass cluster bombs to bombard Finnish cities, while one of their politicians - named mMlotov - loudly denied accusations of bombing civilian targets, claiming they were shipments of bread to a starving people.

Nothing really changes in Russia, does it?

Drake_263
Mar 31, 2010


etalian posted:

I like the story on how finns would place frozen russian soldiers upright next to roads to troll the russians.

They were also taught to shoot for the stomach and/or the groin instead of the center mass - more demoralizing and forcing the Russians to spend men and supplies to try and recover their wounded.

Basically the whole modern Finnish military doctrine is based on the fact that we're such a small country - a bigger, more militant attacker like Russia probably could take us, the objective is to just make the whole process of actually conquering us such a comprehensive pain in the dick that they don't want to.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006


hard counter
Jan 2, 2015



compared to finns, perhaps only Stalin has bragged more about # of russians killed

Pump it up! Do it!
Oct 3, 2012


Finland was good when it was east Sweden and we got into a lot of useless war with Finnish cannon fodder to die for us, then the Russians got tired of our poo poo and cut off our balls. Without Finnish men to die for us we decided sending actual Swedes to die wasn't any fun, so instead we decided to be the smuggest pricks in the north and treat our Nordic brethren as retarded children.

Fellbat
Feb 23, 2014


Warbadger posted:

The T-34 of the time was a pretty good on-paper

The same could be said of all of the ussr

Drake_263
Mar 31, 2010


On a more lighhearted note, we also enjoy a whole brand of (terribly bad) jokes that boil down to a Finn, a Swede, and some third person (typically a Norwegian) competing at something. Usually the Finn is the one who wins in some clever off-the-wall way, the Norwegian is the one who puts in a solid honest effort, win or lose, and the Swede is the one who manages to comprehensively gently caress it up in an amusing kind of a way.

Example 1:

A Finn, Swede and a Norwegian men are trapped at the rooftop of a burning building. The stairwell is on fire and the building is too tall for them to safely jump from. Terrified for their lives, the three of them pray for rescue.. and an angel appears.

"Name one thing," the angel says, "And that will be what you fall into when you jump."

"Pillows!", yells the Norwegian, taking a running leap - and of course, he lands in a massive pile of pillows that's miraculously appeared, shaken but happily alive.
"One-hundred euro bills!", calls the Finn, and when he jumps, he's cushioned by a whole hill of loose bills, alive and now also fabulously rich.
The Swede, meanwhile, can already feel the flames licking at his heels. Running for the edge of the roof, he's getting ready to jump - and on the last step, slips on bird droppings and tumbles over the edge.
"Oh, poo poo!"


Example 2:

A Finn has ended up the roommate of a Swedish student at their stint in the university. Most of the time they get along fine, but both of them being major literary nuts, each is convinced of the innate superiority and beauty of their respective native languages - much to the chagrin of the rest of their friends, who get to listen to them contantly bicker and snipe at one another. Finally, an English exchange student snaps.

"Alright, fine, we'll solve this for once and for all if it makes you two bloody idiots shut up," says he. "Here, I'll give you a random English verse you need to translate to your own languages, and then we'll compare them and see which one sounds better. Here we go..

Island, island, grassy island, grassy island's bride."

"Saari, saari, heinsaari, heinsaaren morsian," translates the Finn while his friends nod along.

The Swede, meanwhile, makes a face, trying to figure out a good translation, until he's done -

" , h , h s m."

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItT0jBRGAOs

hard counter
Jan 2, 2015



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4om1rQKPijI

kikkelivelho
Aug 27, 2015



The friendly anti-immigration ghost strikes again:

throw to first DAMN IT
Apr 10, 2007
This whole thread has been raging at the people who don't want Saracen invasion to their homes

Perhaps you too should be more accepting of their cultures


kikkelivelho
Aug 27, 2015











Ekster
Jul 18, 2013



That's due to their proximity to Russia.

They can't help it.

AEMINAL
May 22, 2015

#gbs @ irc.synirc.net


The obly good thing the finns ever did was inventing the sauna and guarding noble sweden from the ruskis

Thanks i guess.

throw to first DAMN IT
Apr 10, 2007
This whole thread has been raging at the people who don't want Saracen invasion to their homes

Perhaps you too should be more accepting of their cultures


With Nokia gone, this will be our legacy to the world. God have mercy.

uber_stoat
Jan 21, 2001



Pillbug

Lord Tywin posted:

Finland was good when it was east Sweden and we got into a lot of useless war with Finnish cannon fodder to die for us, then the Russians got tired of our poo poo and cut off our balls. Without Finnish men to die for us we decided sending actual Swedes to die wasn't any fun, so instead we decided to be the smuggest pricks in the north and treat our Nordic brethren as retarded children.

Zzulu
May 15, 2009


Nurge
Feb 4, 2009

I'm a real comedian! Check out my comedy guide on why we need to say retard again

Fun Shoe

Did someone paste what Tacitus wrote about the finns back in the day yet? It's pretty hilarious:

code:
 ''In wonderful savageness live the nation of the Fennians, and in beastly
  poverty, destitute of arms, of horses, and of homes; their food, the common herbs; their
  apparel, skins; their bed, the earth; their only hope in their arrows, which for want of
  iron they point with bones. Their common support they have from the chase, women as well as
  men; for with these the former wander up and down, and crave a portion of the prey. Nor
  other shelter have they even for their babes, against the violence of tempests and ravening
  beasts, than to cover them with the branches of trees twisted together; this a reception
  for the old men, and hither resort the young. Such a condition they judge more happy than
  the painful occupation of cultivating the ground, than the labour of rearing houses, than
  the agitations of hope and fear attending the defence of their own property or the seizing
  that of others. Secure against the designs of men, secure against the malignity of the
  Gods, they have accomplished a thing of infinite difficulty; that to them nothing remains
  even to be wished.'' 

bumming your scene
Dec 29, 2004



What a bunch of lovely bums

Zzulu
May 15, 2009


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC-s6nUhihA

de_dust
Jan 21, 2009

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


BombiTheZombie posted:

Im 100% finnish but i live in sweden and almost all finns ive talked to revere their homeland like mad. But deep inside we all know its a frozen hellwaste straight out of a lovely post-apoc movie. National sports include axe throwing (kirveenheitto), boot throwing (saapasheitto) and carrying your wife on your shoulders in a race to win her weight in beer (mmnkanto). Sauna and beer is legit though

this legit sounds awesome

Tuxedo Gin
May 20, 2003

Classy.


the alcohol actually makes sense from a logistic point of view. water is frozen solid for 80% of the year and dirty bog for 20% of the year.


vodka doesn't freeze, vodka doesn't get bacterial infections.

etalian
Mar 20, 2006


while good swedes were sailing all the way to canada, Finns were living in mud hunts and worshipping bogs.

Hob_Gadling
Jul 6, 2007

I'm mad that the racists and bigots are being oppressed! Why can't I express my desire for Islamic genocide on these forums without being probated for it?


Grimey Drawer

They should have stayed in Canada

etalian
Mar 20, 2006


Hob_Gadling posted:

They should have stayed in Canada

the natives said their clothes looked like a dishrag, so the Swedes left rather than take more verbal abuse and insults.

LordArgh
Mar 17, 2009



Nap Ghost

swedes never sailed to canada what are you talking about

hard counter
Jan 2, 2015



Nurge posted:

Did someone paste what Tacitus wrote about the finns back in the day yet? It's pretty hilarious:

code:
 ''In wonderful savageness live the nation of the Fennians, and in beastly
  poverty, destitute of arms, of horses, and of homes; their food, the common herbs; their
  apparel, skins; their bed, the earth; their only hope in their arrows, which for want of
  iron they point with bones. Their common support they have from the chase, women as well as
  men; for with these the former wander up and down, and crave a portion of the prey. Nor
  other shelter have they even for their babes, against the violence of tempests and ravening
  beasts, than to cover them with the branches of trees twisted together; this a reception
  for the old men, and hither resort the young. Such a condition they judge more happy than
  the painful occupation of cultivating the ground, than the labour of rearing houses, than
  the agitations of hope and fear attending the defence of their own property or the seizing
  that of others. Secure against the designs of men, secure against the malignity of the
  Gods, they have accomplished a thing of infinite difficulty; that to them nothing remains
  even to be wished.'' 

etalian
Mar 20, 2006



lol

I imagine all the bogs and lakes means it has hellish swarms of mosquitos during the summer similar to Minnesota.

etalian fucked around with this message at Sep 27, 2015 around 20:14

BexGu
Jan 9, 2004

This fucking day....

de_dust posted:

this legit sounds awesome

They have a straight up championship for it in America if you want to join in.

http://sundayriver.com/events-and-a...ng-championship

The winning couple takes home the wife's weight in beer, five times her weight in cash, and an entry into the World Championship, which takes place in Finland the following summer. Each year, the field includes 50 couples with pre-qualification given to the winners of state or regional events.

Nurge
Feb 4, 2009

I'm a real comedian! Check out my comedy guide on why we need to say retard again

Fun Shoe

poopzilla posted:

They most certainly do not hate americans as half the loving country came here after the winter war and ww2, my family included. They hate the crazy bullshit america they see from fox news and tmz.

Also what the hell is this bullshit. The crazy migration to the US was in the mid 19th century. The amounts that trickled out post ww2 aren't even a blip on the radar. Learn your drat history.

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etalian
Mar 20, 2006


BexGu posted:

They have a straight up championship for it in America if you want to join in.

http://sundayriver.com/events-and-a...ng-championship

The winning couple takes home the wife's weight in beer, five times her weight in cash, and an entry into the World Championship, which takes place in Finland the following summer. Each year, the field includes 50 couples with pre-qualification given to the winners of state or regional events.

I hope this sport gets accepted into the summer olympics:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7IM9f16QZ4

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