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Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.



Three hundred and forty seven years ago, the First Great Emperor Rim united the known world under his wise rulership, erecting a great wall around creation, keeping it safe. The Gods, fickle and corrupt, rallied against his benevolence but where likewise defeated, shown their place.
Under his tutelage, the peoples of the world advanced from sparse groups of frightened hunter-gatherers to a vast civilisation of cities ruled by knights and nobility and overseen by the stability imposed upon the world by science and reason.
But the Emperor has long since passed. What order he had accomplished during his long reign is fading, and The Empire with it. A near fatal blow was struck was struck some twenty years before today, when The Forest appeared unannounced.

It was a remarkable backlash. An unmanageable frontier had been created and from it's crevaces leaked all manner of monsters and fouler things still. The Empire strained under the loss of twenty one point six five percent of it's arable land.
Now, riots are breaking out. Banditry has become commonplace and the imperial army is spread thin, trying to keep the peace of an entire world.

To cope, humanity and it's hangers on cling to the Great Bureaucracy, a tedious institution that covers most of the known world and gives reason and meaning to it's inhabitants. The Bureaucracies tendrils stretch even into the bastions of religion, slaving the Gods to paperwork and proper procedure, expecting precise miracles for precise sacrifice, regulating their worship into the Great Unified World Church, where they can cause no more trouble. The wild and unreliable arts of magic on the other hand have not so much been tamed as caged. Forbidden and relegated to shunned academies that claim to only practise it in theory.

You are a [person] who is fed up with the onslaught of darkness. Be it for coin, glory or because someone higher up told you to do it, you have taken up arms against come-what-may. The question remains however, how will you go about your new career?

1:
The World of Rim does not abide the unaligned freelancer, thus a variety of factions and guilds have sprung up in the wake of the Great Bureaucracy. These are the real power-players of the empire, whatever the Lords and Ladies might say.
To have any chance of achieving your goal, you must join one of them or perhaps start your own subdivision within the greater whole. What faction you do end up with will heavily affect all aspects of the game, from the people you meet to the missions you receive. Thus it is the First Vote of the Game.

A: I am a member of the Order of Imperial Paladins.


The Paladins of the world are True Heroes. Fighting for whatever goals their chapter masters and gods deign them worthy for. They have several fortress-monasteries across the known world, but these are mostly used for training. A Paladins life is one of constant travel and adventure, and as such they have little need for such permanent shelter. As a Paladin, you are expected to go in alone to fight the toughest of foes and prevail, asking nothing in return. Well, maybe not depending on what deity you actually serve, but we'll get into that later.

B: I apply with the bureaucracy to start my very own Monster Hunting Guild.


Many industrious mercenaries in the empire have banded together to form collectives of soldiers-for-hire who solve the jobs that no one else dare take. Always on the look-out for new recruits, these companies provide a safe haven for the disenfranchised strongman, ne’er-do-wells, retired officer or lordling. Of course, none of them will take you. So you start your own. Here is your chance to craft your own niche, be your own boss and hoist yourself on your own petard.

C: I am a soldier in the Imperial Army.


Ah, the Army! No land has a finer one. Well, how could they when there aren’t any other lands? Unless you count The Forest, but surely even that belongs to the Empire? Of course it does. Did. We'll have it under control shortly. This is just a tactical reverse progression. At any rate, The Army is mostly used to quell dissent and prevent civil war from breaking out. The world is a very large place, after all, and not all Lords are content to be merely the kings of their own castles. With the events of recent years however, it has found itself woefully unequipped to deal with all the problems facing the Empire, and thus a proclamation went out a little while ago announcing the creation of a new, "Elite Division of Imperial Army Monster Hunters." One part morale booster, one part propaganda, one part place-which-to-send-undesirables, it has yet to have been tested against any real threat, but at least it has the backing of the Great Bureaucracy?

D: I go out into The Forest and attempt killing the first thing I see.
The direct approach, but not one likely to end well.

2:
Well, before you get yourselves killed fighting monsters, if only so the Imperial Census Agent knows what to put down on your death certificate, perhaps you could tell me something about yourself? For instance, what are you? The Empire is host to a multitude of species, of all creeds, skills, strength and ability. Your choice of species is at the same time very important and not important at all. Every species has their own innate pro's and cons, but individuals of course can differ greatly.

E: I am Human.


The most common of the Citizens of the Empire and the ones nominally in charge, humans are human. That's it, basically. You have the smug satisfaction of being the baseline of society. Revel in your normalcy.

F: I am a Duck.


Ducks are industrious to a fault and prone to outrageous fortunes with tempers to match. What they lack in skill and common decency they make up for in sheer tenacity. When a duck isn't working, it is probably complaining. But rarely do they stick around in one place long enough to form any semblance of a career. Indeed, there is a saying amongst the people of Rim "If you see a duck in the same place twice, it is probably dead." Long story short, Ducks are upstanding members of the Empire, but looked down upon all the same.

Ducks come in all shapes and sizes but vary most vividly in colouring, for their feathers can be anything from white, to yellow, to brown to blue or black with rings or other moulted patterns adoring their bodies. Most ducks wear clothing on their upper bodies and they are very fond of hats in particular, although some ducks go without either, preferring to wear only undergarments. None find this odd, and modesty never seems to be an issue regardless. They have two legs ending in duck-feet, and two wings ending in humanish-feather-hands with between two and six featherfinger-substitutes. Their faces are billed, but this bill can also take a variety of shapes.

Some Ducks take to Adventure, for the thrill of the ever changing day or from inherent Ducky-Wanderlust, For whatever reason, you are such a Duck.

G: I am a special snowflake Drow with spikes to match!


Totally superior in every way, The Drow are the ruling class of society. Except for those pesky humans. Limber, Lithe and Lolth, they spend most of their time scheming against one another and hoping the Imperial Bureaucracy doesn't notice their coup attempts. A Drow is a humanoid with long ears, skin varying from pale white to dark blue and an affinity for spiders. Their age-span exceeds the humans of the world greatly but there are less of them around accordingly. They suffer the same ailments and toils as the regular citizens of the world, but they do so with an aura of grace and sometimes masochism that simply eludes everyone else.

H: I am the dwarfiest dwarf to ever dwarf.


They say dwarves have a thousand words for 'rock' but that is stupid. They have thousands of words for solid minerals, however. One of them is rock. You are not a rock, but a dwarf. For some the difference in negligible. Short, stocky, bearded, they are perhaps the hardest, most loyal workers around. They are long-term thinkers and planners and use this fact to dominate all endeavours they find interest in. The Dwarves of Rim are pragmatic and enduring and in many ways the archetype of the Good Imperial Citizen.

I: I am a Gnome and my life expectancy is seven years and 47 hours as of seven years ago.


Gnomes do not die of natural causes. At least, undertakers and Census Agents have yet to find one that did. As such, their actual life-span is pretty hard to measure, but one would assume that a Gnome could live to it's forties if you kept it tied down in a padded cage and fed it regularly. That would be a terrible crime, however, as they are True Citizens of the Empire. Gnomes are incredibly curious, adventurous to a fault and slightly hyperactive. They serve the Empire mostly as alchemists, tinkerers, scouts and trouble-shooters. Some even take to banditry and some even make it past the first week. Fear the competent Gnome, for he has faced Death and gotten away with it.

When all the bodyparts can be found and reconstructed, a Gnome resembles a human albeit much shorter.

3:
One last thing before we begin. The world is large and diverse. You have somehow survived this far and that means you must have done something right in your life. On the other hand, coming as far as you have you must have also angered someone. But who? This is a vote for a friend and an enemy, somewhere within the various organisations of the world. Someone or something to help you when the going gets tough, and something to make your life a misery. This vote is more free-form than the others, so no letters will be supplied. Instead you can debate amongst yourself which seems appropriate for the character you are making.

J: Write-In: What person or organisation owes me a favour?
K: Write-In: What person or organisation is cross with me?

---

Gms notes:
Hello and welcome to my game! It is the first one of these I have run on the internet but I hope it should be fun none the less. The format follows other popular CYOAs on these forums, where I will make a post telling you a story and presenting you with a few options on how to continue. You are however always free to take the unbeaten path. There is one slight limitation however, in that the Scope of this CYOA will always be monster-hunting. Should your character decide to retire or decide that monster-hunting is not for it, then so be it, but the game will end.

The World I have created is heavily influenced from a whole bunch of sources and could be summarized as being set in 'Renaissance Fantasy.' If you recognize anything, and you should, it has probably been modified in some way to work with the society I am trying to simulate. That said, I will do my best to inform you on how the world differs from any world you normally find yourselves in, be that in the overall story posts, slices of life or answering relevant questioned posted in the thread. At least where that knowledge is something your character should be aware of. The rest you will have to figure out yourselves! A final word of warning; Monster Hunting is a dangerous profession. A single mistake could have disastrous consequences. Let's see how long you can last!

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Music Theory
Aug 7, 2013

Avatar by Garden Walker


A
E

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


A I


3.
J. The Holy Bureaucracy really needed a Gnome to become a paladin to balance the census trends of Gnomes not taking up crusades.
K. The Secret Inquisition. A Gnome taking up the holy sword is something of a hidden blasphemy and in certain heretical texts foretells some coming doom.

Brainamp
Sep 4, 2011

More Zen than Zenyatta



B
H

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

B
H


As a dwarf, not only are we a sturdy warrior, we are also uniquely disposed towards making our guild a financial success!

J: The Great Bureaucracy. A former clerk turned warrior, our connections are many and our forms always in order.
K: Duchess Cerise Carmine of Eastmarsh and Her Household. The Duchess never really forgave us for running that audit on her demesne on grounds of suspected vampirism and reports of virgins gone missing. No proof was ever procured, but at least we managed to lift the overtly punitive garlic import tariffs of the duchy as is only right and proper.

Theantero fucked around with this message at Oct 11, 2015 around 21:41

AnAnonymousIdiot
Sep 14, 2013



We are a Dwarven soldier of the Autumn-hand clan.


Our favor comes from a Field Chronicler in the Frontier Expeditions
A problem we have comes from that we are expected to die as we are part of an influential Clan's plans to end a rival Clan's bloodline.

Sax Battler
Jul 31, 2007

Another bloody customs post,
Another fucking foreign coast,
Another set of scars to boast,
We Are The Road Crew.


Theantero posted:

B
H


As a dwarf, not only are we a sturdy warrior, we are also uniquely disposed towards making our guild a financial success!

J: The Great Bureaucracy. A former clerk turned warrior, our connections are many and our forms always in order.
K: Duchess Cerise Carmine of Eastmarsh and Her Household. The Duchess never really forgave us for running that audit on her demesne on grounds of suspected vampirism and reports of virgins gone missing. No proof was ever procured, but at least we managed to lift the overtly punitive garlic import tariffs of the duchy as is only right and proper.

Mr Apollo
Jan 1, 2013


Theantero posted:

B
H


As a dwarf, not only are we a sturdy warrior, we are also uniquely disposed towards making our guild a financial success!

J: The Great Bureaucracy. A former clerk turned warrior, our connections are many and our forms always in order.
K: Duchess Cerise Carmine of Eastmarsh and Her Household. The Duchess never really forgave us for running that audit on her demesne on grounds of suspected vampirism and reports of virgins gone missing. No proof was ever procured, but at least we managed to lift the overtly punitive garlic import tariffs of the duchy as is only right and proper.

Hot Dog Day 80
Jun 23, 2003


B: I apply with the bureaucracy to start my very own Monster Hunting Guild.

I: I am a Gnome and my life expectancy is seven years and 47 hours as of seven years ago.

A RICH WHITE MAN
Jul 30, 2010

See them other chickenheads? They don't never leave the coop.


C E

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




AnAnonymousIdiot posted:

We are a Dwarven soldier of the Autumn-hand clan.


Our favor comes from a Field Chronicler in the Frontier Expeditions
A problem we have comes from that we are expected to die as we are part of an influential Clan's plans to end a rival Clan's bloodline.


I just like the idea of a Dwarven Guardsmen

Sapphira
Apr 7, 2006


The obviousest answer is B F.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



BE

LucyWanabe
Nov 4, 2009


A
F



Ducks are good guys. Why wouldn't they be the knight in shining armor?

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

Voting is closed whilst I work on the update.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

New Beginnings.

The first years of your life were spent in the Mountain Home of Tukatt Hold, an ancient stronghold of the Empire. From its vantage point at the top of the Mountains of Reminiscing it held sway over the River Ennui, the longest and some might say loneliest river in all of Rim. On a good day, an adventurous child (or over-excited adult) climbing to the very top of the tallest surface tower might get a view stretching all the way to the horizon, to the fabled great wall so far in the distance from whence the Empire takes its name. The Rim.




As a young Dwarf of an upstanding clan, you took to the schooling of the Empire as any good imperial citizen should. You learned the basics of runes, of accounting and paperwork and the minutiae of minor rules that each of us must follow. The years went by quickly and soon you found yourself in the employ of the local Ministry of Trade, a minor clerk apprenticing to the ancient and venerable Tariff Master Cranberry.



It was here that your life took a very sudden turn. You had taken an interest in some overly punitive legislation over in the Duchy of Eastmarsh. The annual profit of the caravans travelling that route had sunken by 4.56% in the last twenty years, and you were determined to get to the bottom as to why. Your master bade you ignore it, stating that it was 'merely politics' and that poking your nose around too much in such matters would do you more ill than good. Yet you persisted, perhaps in your youthful folly wanting to prove yourself. After months of work you presented your report to the local high-representative of the Imperial Ministry of Economy, and the wheels of fate were thus irreversibly set in motion.

Your report was a great success, in as much as it was duly noted. You still prize the letter of confirmation you received from the Ministry. Your parents had it framed and set amongst the many other heirlooms in the family home.

Weeks passed. Delightfully boring. You wouldn't have had it any other way. But all things must change. The reprisal was swift, brutal and confusing. Mercenary Census Agents raided your paltry trade bureau, having been tipped of anonymously. What they found was staggering. A scandal! Corruption in the very heart of the empire! Lists of clandestine transactions fathoms long. Boxes of Garlic and bags of silver. All the relevant paperwork suspiciously missing or suspiciously fresh. No matter your achievements or immaculate conduct, your word held little sway against the mountain of evidence. Your Master was shamed, relieved from duty. Escorted away by Imperial Guardsmen to a life of hard labour in the rice fields.

As every good dwarf knows, Rules are Rules. Your apprenticeship was never finished, and as your master had turned out to be a fraud, thus your time with him was rendered equally fraudulent. Your family, ever understanding, urged you pack your belongings and set out into the wider world, perhaps finding new occupation amongst the surfacedwellers, new training in the military or finding some way of redemption amongst the clergy.

---

Not knowing what to do, you followed the advice of one of your siblings to find your equally exiled cousin, Kvelar. Kvelar had set up shop over in the township of Braav, a good two weeks journey southeast of Tukatt Hold, along the river. He was a braggart, was young Kvelar. Always going on about the glory and thrill of adventure, a perilous hobby that had gotten more people killed than it had ever helped, your cousin took you into his home. It wasn't until you took a look at his accounting (as a favour amongst kin, if not idle curiosity) that your dream hit you square in the face.

Here there was money to be made! Your young mind filled with visions of gold. Of ancient treasure long since forgotten. If what your cousin said was true, and indeed his expenditures showed his words had merit, then untold riches lay within your grasp, with but the small snag of deadly monsters around every untamed corner.

That was for the lonesome wanderer though. Surely you wagered, your brilliant mind might find some way around this? Where a single man would fall, overwhelmed by wild beasts, a trained company of fighting men and women would find no issue brokering "peace" by club and axe. The treasure once 'equally' divided would still remain a goodly sum, and you and your cousin would live as tiny emperors!

Well. At least that was the plan...












What have you gotten yourself into?




























After a night in the local tavern, wildly arguing the pros and cons of your idea with your cousin, you had found yourself quiet unexpectedly and somewhat drunkenly in the local guild registrars office. Your paperwork checked out, your request was expediently granted. The
next thing you knew you were standing outside of your very own guildhall. It was a thing of beauty. Two stories high, including training room, a shooting range, cantina and barracks. It was a former Imperial Army garrison, and it showed. It could comfortably house upwards of twenty soldiers and fend off ten times that number should the worst come to worst.



There were only a few, minor, issues. For one, you lack people with which to staff it. You lacked gear, training and more importantly missions to undertake or leads to follow. There was also the matter of the somewhat substantial debt you had accrued purchasing the property. But, not to worry! You had overseen the contract yourself. It would be six months before any payments were due. Six months to find all of these things. Six months to prove your idea had merit.

---

1:
You have the facility and grounds to get a good amount of training in before the missions start trickling in, be it from word of mouth or leads you find around town. Your life thus far has left you woefully unprepared for adventure, but your cousin is a different matter. Kvelar is built like a brick outhouse and has trained most of his life with battleaxe and buckler. He also knows a thing or two about archery, and has a friend in town on leave from the Imperial Army that knows the basics of Pike and Sword.

What weapon and style do you spend the next couple of weeks learning?

A: Axedwarfship
B: Archery
C: Formation Pike
D: Swordsmanship
E: Something else? Write-in. Trainers for other styles may or may not exist, but you can always go at it by yourself and hope you have natural talent.

---

2:
Not two weeks into your training, your cousin brings the first Potential Recruits to your attention. You consult your careful budgeting and realize you can only hire four of the seven candidates. Your cousin, having always fought alone, leaves the choice of future companions up to you.
The first to arrive are three "brothers" who look nothing alike. They state their names and proficiencies, but are open to further questioning should you wish it. They would rather all come work for you, but understand if you only have room for one or two of them.

F: Konnie "Cowfoot" Loman
States he is an 'expert daggerteer' (whatever that means), quiet adept at sneaking. Says he has a nose for jewellery.

G: Johakim "The Chisel" Loman
Professes to being a combat medic. Has the right gear, albeit in bad shape. Says he knows his way around "the business" but refuses to elaborate. Figures himself the leader of the three brothers.

H: Tommy "Woodhead" Loman
A giant of a man. Wields a club. One of his eyes is pale and his face is heavily scarred. Has seen his way around quite a few fights by the look of it. Survived. He is the oldest of the brothers.



I: Skvababt
The next recruit to arrive is this sultry and provocative, to be honest you are not sure what she is, but she does carry a bow bigger than herself. When instructed she manages to at least hit the furthest target on your range two times out of five. You can't help but notice her constant perspiring. It is.. strangely arousing.



J: Axi Meyer
A gnome scurries in a while later, offering its services. It claims to have a number of inventions it can lend to your cause, craves a room to itself and wants to be kept off of field-duty.


K: Erudiel of the Quiet Moon, the Beam of which illuminates the Lovers Embrace on the Field Below, Flowering. (Erudiel for short.)
This curious dark-elf down on his luck carries with him (aside from prosthetic teeth and a garland of flowers) some medium quality armour and his very own masterwork halbard. His temper seems very uneven. Flipping from quiet contemplation to frothing rage at the drop of a hat.



L: Khami
Carries a length of iron chains and wields light armour which he keeps concealed under a cloak. He doesn't say much unless spoken to.



---

To reiterate, all of these people are available to be interviewed should you require more information. You can only recruit four of them, and the majority vote will decide which of them join your guild. Assume for now they will take a fair cut of the profits, especially this early in the game. They understand that pickings might be spare and trust you will lead them to victory.

3:
Not too long after you finish the recruiting process, an Imperial Census Agent finds his way to your doorstep. After the customary greeting ritual (whereupon you exchange paperwork gingerly) you invite him into the room you and your cousin have dubbed the office.
The Census Agent hands you some paperwork. It is a simple affair as paperwork goes. You must merely state the name of yourself and your company. Do note however, that the Office of Acceptable Naming Practices (a subdivision of the Imperial Census Agency) will be auditing this form in the very near future. Dire consequences (such as rejection and a small fee) await those who submit erroneously or unacceptably.

M: What is your name?

N: What is the name of your monster-hunting-guild?

Swedish Thaumocracy fucked around with this message at Oct 13, 2015 around 14:26

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.




E.Duel wield shield style
F: thief for trap disarm and search treasure
G: medic
K: charismatic orc
J: he probably will die fast before payday and free invention!
M: Meatball Marinara
N: Good Squad

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

A: Axe is a proper dwarfy weapon, and we have the strong build necessary to take advantage of it.

M: Our name is Thorgrim Ironscript.

N: Our 'guild' shall be the Ironscript Tyrannofauna Extermination Company, or ITEC for short. Clear, professional and to the point.

Now, to the prospective recruits.

We need muscle, and Tommy seems to have it. Also, he is big and experienced looking so he will most certainly impress potential buyers and convince them we are not too dweeby to handle their Giant Rat infested cellar. Ask him what kind of combat experience he has.

Ask Konnie if he has knowledge of court-intriguish crap. Our chief antagonist is a noble, so we might want to hire someone to help guard us against their trickery at some point. If he just seems like a common thief, I'm most likely not interested.

Ask around if any of our recruits have outdoorsman/ranger skills or other survival training. We do not want to stumble into a manticore nest by accident on our first bout to the bush.

Ask Khami about his unorthodox weaponry and what kind of experience training he has. We should not hire a person just they are brooding and silent and mysterious.

Ask Skvababt whether she has other skills than archery. We probably want her anyway due to her being a ranged character, but hey.

Ask Johakim how well he can handle himself in a fight.

Ask Axi if he has any sort of recommendation and what he could give us in concrete terms. We should not waste a slot this early on for a non-fighter unless the expected payoff is really good.

I'm iffy on the orc elf. He has good equipment and is probably strong, but I do not want to deal with the mentally unstable when we are just starting out.

Tentatively I'd suggest we take either H or L as our frontliner, G because a medic is always good to have, I for range, and for the last slot we either take the other fighter, the thief or the gnome, regarding on how they answer.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



CGKL

Wentley
Feb 7, 2012


Theantero posted:

A: Axe is a proper dwarfy weapon, and we have the strong build necessary to take advantage of it.

M: Our name is Thorgrim Ironscript.

N: Our 'guild' shall be the Ironscript Tyrannofauna Extermination Company, or ITEC for short. Clear, professional and to the point.

Now, to the prospective recruits.

We need muscle, and Tommy seems to have it. Also, he is big and experienced looking so he will most certainly impress potential buyers and convince them we are not too dweeby to handle their Giant Rat infested cellar. Ask him what kind of combat experience he has.

Ask Konnie if he has knowledge of court-intriguish crap. Our chief antagonist is a noble, so we might want to hire someone to help guard us against their trickery at some point. If he just seems like a common thief, I'm most likely not interested.

Ask around if any of our recruits have outdoorsman/ranger skills or other survival training. We do not want to stumble into a manticore nest by accident on our first bout to the bush.

Ask Khami about his unorthodox weaponry and what kind of experience training he has. We should not hire a person just they are brooding and silent and mysterious.

Ask Skvababt whether she has other skills than archery. We probably want her anyway due to her being a ranged character, but hey.

Ask Johakim how well he can handle himself in a fight.

Ask Axi if he has any sort of recommendation and what he could give us in concrete terms. We should not waste a slot this early on for a non-fighter unless the expected payoff is really good.

I'm iffy on the orc elf. He has good equipment and is probably strong, but I do not want to deal with the mentally unstable when we are just starting out.

Tentatively I'd suggest we take either H or L as our frontliner, G because a medic is always good to have, I for range, and for the last slot we either take the other fighter, the thief or the gnome, regarding on how they answer.

I like this vote.

Also, ask Axi Meyer what inventions he has for us right now.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

quote:

"Ask Tommy what kind of combat experience he has."



"The way me Mam speaks of me, I've been clobbering since before I was born." "It's been tavern brawls and pit fights and what have you for the most part. Real professional like. Don't think I ever met something I couldn't handle, But then again I've never been up against no monsters neither."

quote:

"Ask Konnie if he has knowledge of court-intrigue."



"I ain't exactly royalty mate. Them nobles can keep to their fancy courts all they likes, if there ain't a buck or two in it for ole Konnie then it is of no interest to he!"

quote:

"Ask Khami about his unorthodox weaponry."



"I've trained with this chain all my life. There is nothing I cannot do with it. Nothing. It is most useful for tripping and disarming, but can also be used to bind prisoners in a pinch."

quote:

"Ask Skvababt whether she has other skills than archery."



"Mhmmm, my previous lover was a tanner, so I picked up a few tricks from his... tannery.... such a delight to work with leather."
Her sensuous laughter fills the room.

quote:

"Ask Johakim how well he can handle himself in a fight."



"Always had me brothers to see me through a scuffle I did. Always ended up helpin' them out when our foes back was turn, sure enough. Know me way around the blunt end of a Sword and ain't that enough for most types? Ken tell you a fair bit about anatomies, tho t'befair tis mostly of the human variety. " "A good smack to the temple from Tommy will see most keel over, mind."

quote:

"Ask Axi if he has any sort of recommendation and what he could give us in concrete terms."

quote:

"Ask Axi Meyer what inventions he has for us right now. "



Axi replies but you are not sure what it said. It's monologue does take two hours of your life however, and at the end of it you are almost completely sure it knows what it is talking about. If only you did as well.
Seeing your flustered look, she presents you with a wooden hamster. It has a small, hatched lid on top and what looks like a receptacle for some sort of potion of alchemic concoction inside of it. The gnome makes a scurrying motion with it's hands and then a dramatic explosive gesture with it's arms. Seeing you reach for the hamster the gnome gets a somewhat panicked look on it's face and makes sure to put it away before you do anything rash, like actually use it.

quote:

Ask around if any of our recruits have outdoorsman/ranger skills or other survival training.

Skvababt reports that she knows her way around if you know what she means. When further prodded, she suggest you take a moonlit stroll by a swamp at some point. She says she will make sure you will get out of there alive but damp. When asked to be serious for a moment, please, this is important, she shrugs and states that she's had several companions over the years in the Imperial Army, most of whom where rangers or scouts of a sort. It's where she picked up her archery skills, and she has spent many a night outdoors "rough-housing" it with her former lovers.

All three brothers Loman state that they know a thing or two about camping, but have no idea on how to distinguish the various critters of the forest aside from perhaps the difference between a fox and a bear.

Khami has travelled with a few caravans in his years, mostly doing mercenary work. His opponents where mostly bandits, but he did face a giant snake once. It took three guardsmen to fight it off, and two of them died within a week from infected wounds. "Avoid the fangs." He comments, helpfully.

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009


E.Duel wield shield style, as long as one shield is a Pavise to protect our whole body, and the other a Hungarian to deflect quick blows and cleave everything to death.
M: Bross Griften
N:Bross' Bastards

I: Skvababt, an archer and a full shield-men is a combo made in heaven she can lay down fire with ease behind us and we can move freely because of that.
K: Erudiel, a pole arms men behind our shields is an extra deadly thing, one that'll go berserk when our backs are against the wall even more necessary.
L: Khami, throwing chains over a big bad monster is a good for capture and killing, also us and Erudiel are probably strong enough to hold and hog tie whatever he wraps up.
F: Konnie "Cowfoot" Loman, A cut throat building our treasure stock and backstabbing behind the scenes while everyone else making an aggressive mess in battle.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




A: Axedwarfship

F: Konnie "Cowfoot" Loman
G: Johakim "The Chisel" Loman
H: Tommy "Woodhead" Loman
L: Khami

M: Svart BumbleGoon

N: Svart's House of Pain and Gain. "Got a monster problem? Get Smart and Get Svart!"

LucyWanabe
Nov 4, 2009


1: A
2: F, G, H, I
3: M--Felsen Axebeard
N--Inglorious Bastards

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009


Looks like Skvababt is our 'charming rogue' even if it is the grossest way possible, the girl is oozing sex drugs. But looks like we can also get hides and field armor from slain monsters if we take her, and with the added bonus of being the most functional wilderness scout our party is less likely to get knocked off eating something poisonous.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


GloriousDemon posted:

Looks like Skvababt is our 'charming rogue' even if it is the grossest way possible, the girl is oozing sex drugs. But looks like we can also get hides and field armor from slain monsters if we take her, and with the added bonus of being the most functional wilderness scout our party is less likely to get knocked off eating something poisonous.

Pretty sure she worked with a cannibal or something making skin lamps. Do not trust the frog.

Wentley
Feb 7, 2012


Arkanomen posted:

Pretty sure she worked with a cannibal or something making skin lamps. Do not trust the frog.

I agree. The only one I want so far is L: Khami . The gnome is just too much of a liability now, as we need fighters, and our base to not explode.

Nyaa
Jan 7, 2010

Q.E.D.



Wentley posted:

The gnome is just too much of a liability now, as we need fighters, and our base to not explode.
I think it's fine to treat him as a one-shot suicide bomber to be use for one mission and then we hire a real fighter.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


We could take the Gnome as a sort of canary. Send him in first to get excited and set off any traps or find out just how that particular swamp dragon manages to liquefy so many adventures (It's acid breath and the Gnome just ran up and slapped it).

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Or we could fill that slot with someone who will be useful as more than a distraction

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Theantero posted:

Or we could fill that slot with someone who will be useful as more than a distraction

We can always just get another gnome.

Wentley
Feb 7, 2012


Theantero posted:

Or we could fill that slot with someone who will be useful as more than a distraction

Yeah, that was my thought. HiHo ChiRho's plan of taking the brothers as well might work. They know how to work together.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


Wentley posted:

Yeah, that was my thought. HiHo ChiRho's plan of taking the brothers as well might work. They know how to work together.

But they could also plot together. We need to be in charge.

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

If we get a reputation for having our people perform suicide-charges we might soon start having a shortage of recruits.

Each one of the brothers fills a useful niche. Even though the Thief has no experience with higher intrigue he might still notice if we are being watched or shadowed etc. Tommy and Erudiel are the ones geared towards frontlines, and to be honest I'd rather take the one who is mentally stable. I can see the appeal of taking all of the brothers. For the fourth I'd like Skvababt because she is the only ranged recruit and is also the one with most survival knowledge, but I do admit she is really shady and might perhaps be somewhat unsafe to keep around. Khami might be a stabler alternative.

Nevertheless, Axi and Erudiel I say we scrap. Wildcards can be useful and fun later on, but not yet when they'll have to pull a significant amount of weight by themselves.

Klingtron
Sep 10, 2011


HiHo ChiRho posted:

A: Axedwarfship

F: Konnie "Cowfoot" Loman
G: Johakim "The Chisel" Loman
H: Tommy "Woodhead" Loman
L: Khami

M: Svart BumbleGoon

N: Svart's House of Pain and Gain. "Got a monster problem? Get Smart and Get Svart!"

Voting for this

GloriousDemon
May 1, 2009


Since we got two sneaky rogues, one murderous frog girl, one greedy 'cowfoot', we pair them off here and now so they'll end up killing each other before trying to off us. This is a wolf and sheep puzzle. You don't leave the two smart professional killer brothers behind or together, and you keep an unaligned shady killer with the one you take.

Khami can chain them up and Erudiel can beat on them when they get out of line.


Erudiel as the band grows can you make fine arms and armor for us?

Ask Konnie why they call him 'cowfoot'.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


he's a teifling or something with cloven hooves.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

quote:

Ask Erudiel as the band grows can you make fine arms and armor for us?



"Ask not a stone the nature of permanence. It forever changes to forces unseen.
Ask not a mountain what will endure, for once it too will be the sea.
Ask not a blade it's deadly purpose, for it knows not it's wielders faith.
Ask not Erudiel such stupid questions, or his knee will end up in your face!"

quote:

Ask Konnie why they call him 'cowfoot'.



"Now ain't that a story? Well ya see, few years back me and me brothers where out by a township called Furnsberg, up north a fair bit dontcherknow. We'd been looking for legitimate business opportunities, plying the trade as it where, when we come upon this here tavern. Some halfling nonsense on the sign, you know the type "Warming Hearth" or "Tripple Piglet Dinner" or something equally quaint. A real classy establishment. Inside there's this fat merchant (who turns out to be the owner) having a right party of fleecing his customers left and right with outrageous wagers. Everybody seems to be having a jolly time of it though, so we sit down to have a drink or two. The rest is a bit hazy, halfling drinks being what they are, but we figured we had a sure thing going when he was down two weeks pay and decided to go all in. Bet his entire fortune that Woodhead over there couldn't eat a cow. Funny, never did see a cow that size before nor after. The way the guy just waltzed it in from outside. Could have sworn the place didn't even have a barn when I arrived. But a bet's a bet. Tommy did his best but couldn't hack it in the end. As punishment I had to eat what was left. And that's why they call me Konnie "Cowfoot" Loman."

Theantero
Nov 6, 2011

...they shall march out of my laboratory and sweep away every adversary, every creed, every nation, until the very planet is in the loving grip of the Pax Bisonica. And then peace will reign, and the world, and all humanity, shall bow to me in humble gratitude...

Yeah Erudiel seems like a no-go.

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Sapphira
Apr 7, 2006


D. With a fancy shield and a fancy sword.

F
G
I

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