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Best call us the Mega Powers, 'cos we're runnin' wild all over this league. (Braun you have swords stop biting the enemy god dammit)
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Nov 5, 2015 01:38
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jon joe posted:Probably Lightly Whipped's best fight yet, though that's not saying much. The Minotaur is basically a non factor, why are cows so bad? Bigger fighters can really feel the pain from having less points when it comes to weapon skill. I tried a striker minotaur last team tourney and we had the absolute worst team of the tourney if I remember right. It didn't help that that was the tourney experimenting with increased unarmed costs for big guys though.
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Nov 5, 2015 04:48
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Captaindirtnap posted:I gotta say, being disarmed is a big problem when you can't bite effectively. Thank god for Quarf's sure grip and Braun's genetic condition.  Dwarf Fortress. It's not that it's not there, it just doesn't always get mentioned. I think it's just how things are noted. Any time it "explodes into gore" or one of a few other phrasings, I'm pretty sure armor isn't actually mentioned.goatface posted:I am not getting my promised first strikes You were too fast. Check the picture. You actually crossed the midpoint. So, yeah, avoid one attack, make one attack and hey look here's two more.
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Nov 5, 2015 04:54
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ZeeToo posted:You were too fast. Check the picture. You actually crossed the midpoint. So, yeah, avoid one attack, make one attack and hey look here's two more. Were the Animists so slow that it wrapped back around into being effectively fast? Dang.
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Nov 5, 2015 05:11
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 Round Three, Fight Three  Cool Rad Awesome Pals, the home team, is on the left side of the arena. Punc Hant (Silverminnow) is a female soldier ant woman. She wears adamantine gauntlets and still nothing else. BS-45 "Apeliminator" (alcharagia) is a male strangler. He wields a bronze whip and a wooden buckler and wears a copper helm and leather gauntlets. Jimbo Akimbo (Bad Munki) is a male dwarf. He wields a copper war hammer and a copper war hammer and wears an iron helm and an iron mail shirt. The Krying Bowbold Returns! (Krysmphoenix) is a female kobold. She wields a steel bow. Go big and/or go home, the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena. Snowshank Redemption (A good poster) is a male yeti. He wields a copper large dagger and wears an iron mail shirt. Tyler Durden is Hobbes (Iunnrais) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears leather armor. 3 Wolf Moon Shirt (iLonie) is a male werewolf. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a leather cap, leather armor, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather high boots. Slam Whale Willy (potatomanjack) is a male werewolf. He wields a silver mace and a wooden buckler and wears a leather cap, a copper mail shirt, and leather high boots. Go big and/or go home is a 1.23 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 1544.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1257.00 dwarfbucks for Cool Rad Awesome Pals. All in all, the betting is fairly even this fight. The away team is actually favored, despite the fact that both have won at home and lost on the road prior to this. I guess the consensus wisdom is that a huge battle-line will run roughshod over Krying's screen and the bowbold won't have time to be decisive. Let's find out if that's warranted!  Complete whiff. Didn't even generate a report.  Moon Shirt hits first, tearing open Apeliminator's foot. The strangler collapses to the floor. Punc throws a punch at Snowshank, somehow missing the mountainous yeti, avoids an attack from Hobbes, then Snowshank connects with a dagger. Punc loses a foot and is also dropped to the ground. Jimbo and Apeliminator hit Moon Shirt, but the werewolf is tough enough to keep rolling even with that. Moon Shirt hits Apeliminator again, and the strangler's higher mental processes turn off. Meanwhile, Hobbes picks up Punc and starts scratching at her. She bites him, drawing blood. Willy manages his first attack of the evening about this time, hitting Apeliminator in the chest. Snowshank puts a dagger to Jimbo's gut, and the dwarf is trying hard not to lose his liquid lunch. He hits Snowshank in response, hammer snapping the yeti's arm like bones were twigs.  Go big and/or go home have literally encircled the smaller three foes; the green x is sick Jimbo, and the other two are on the same tiles as Jimbo and Snowshank. Punc throws a haymaker at Hobbes, who catches it on his palm, then punches back in retaliation. An entire arm is well described as "splattered". This is why other combat sports have weight classes. Another kick, and Hobbes has put down Punc. Snowshank kneels down to place his dagger in Jimbo's Achilles' heel, and the dwarf checks out.  Krying hasn't had a chance for a second shot yet. CRAP's forward line has crumbled so fast that, if you kept this at full speed instead of blow-by-blow, Go big and/or go home have hardly even slowed.  The second shot flies! As it is airborne, Snowshank gouges at Apeliminator, wielding his dagger like a spoon. He scoops out much of the strangler's internal organs. Both bits die. Meanwhile, Jimbo is puking in his pained sleep.  And Willy jumps away from the arrow. It flies at Snowshank, who similarly leans away. Hobbes's eye flicks around to see it at zero distance. The arrow puts out his right eye, sticking firmly. That was an excellent trick shot. Pity about it not having the force or speed to actually pierce straight through all three's heads in a row. Go big encircle Jimbo, picking on the poor bastard. It's Snowshank who does the honors, stabbing so hard that copper pierces iron and skull alike. So, it's time for Krying to stage a single-handed comeback, now that she's lulled the enemy into a false sense of security.  Wait for it...  No. Moon Shirt stabs both legs, one coming all the way off and the other mostly. Willy smashes her skull. Hobbes grabs at her teeth. Willy crushes her arrow-holding hand. Hobbes twists a thumb. Moon Shirt decapitates her. Snowshank couldn't even reach the kobold, because his other teammates were already in the way. An archer can be a pretty good aid, but only if given a chance to contribute. Which means the enemy has to slow down and fight. The front line this time were roughly comparable to a thick fog. Final Score Go big and/or go home: 4 Cool Rad Awesome Pals: 0 Kills 3 Wolf Moon Shirt: 1 Snowshank Redemption: 2 Tyler Durden is Hobbes: 1 Combat Log
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Nov 5, 2015 18:22
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ZeeToo posted:Moon Shirt stabs both legs, one coming all the way off and the other mostly. Willy smashes her skull. Hobbes grabs at her teeth. Willy crushes her arrow-holding hand. Hobbes twists a thumb. Moon Shirt decapitates her. Snowshank couldn't even reach the kobold, because his other teammates were already in the way.  
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Nov 5, 2015 18:28
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Teamwork at its finest.
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Nov 5, 2015 18:29
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Nov 5, 2015 19:05
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And the award goes to Go big and/or go home for most lopsidedly vicious match.
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Nov 5, 2015 22:01
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jon joe posted:And the award goes to Go big and/or go home for most lopsidedly vicious match. Needs to menace more with spikes of rhyolite
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Nov 5, 2015 22:39
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Hihohe posted:Needs to menace more with spikes of rhyolite And kobold leather.
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Nov 5, 2015 22:41
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What a brutal win. Normally a bowman can get 3 shots by the time foes get close. Did he only manage 2 shots?
Ramc fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Nov 6, 2015 |
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Nov 6, 2015 00:11
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Sigh.
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Nov 6, 2015 00:30
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Noooo! The Apeliminator's perfect mechanical body...!!!
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Nov 6, 2015 01:43
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Where did you go, psycho? posted:Tyler Durden is Hobbes (Go big) punches Punc Hant (CRAP) in the second left upper arm with his left hand and the injured part is smashed into the body, an unrecognizable mass! It's like the Fist of the
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Nov 6, 2015 01:59
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Ramc posted:What a brutal win. Normally a bowman can get 3 shots by the time foes get close. Did he only manage 2 shots? That was two shots total, yes. It wasn't that the fights was entirely one way; CRAP did some damage. It just all went quickly. No faffing about here.
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Nov 6, 2015 05:01
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Round Three, Fight Four  Spooky Scary Skeletons , the home team, is on the left side of the arena. Tash Al'rhyn (tithin) is a female werewolf. She wields a silver war hammer and a wooden shield and wears a copper mail shirt and leather gauntlets. Three Gremlins in a Blender (AJ_Impy) is a male strangler. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears a copper cap, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Bad Munki (Coward) is a male kobold. He wields a steel bow and wears a leather cap. Candy Corn Tiger (Klokwurk) is a male tigerman. He wields an iron halberd and a wooden shield and wears no armor. Hell's Dentists, the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena. Madmartigan (gbuchold) is a male molemarian. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears no armor. The Abominable Gladiator (Pickled Tink) is a female yeti. She is empty handed and wears a copper mail shirt, a copper mail shirt, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, a copper mail shirt, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots. Krog Bonesmasha (astus) is a male elf. He wields a copper war hammer and wears an iron helm, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron high boots. Hell's Dentists is a 1.04 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 6933.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 6635.00 dwarfbucks for Spooky Scary Skeletons . Interestingly, this is basically a duel for top of the leaderboards in betting; the top two have each put the vast majority of their dwarfbucks on this fight. One is going to double his money, and one is going to be reduced to penury.  First arrow. Abominable finds it in her spine.  It doesn't slow her. It does... slow Flynn, though?  Why the hell is the dwarf so slow? Before he even gets close, Tash has hit Madmartigan twice in the left arm, crunching bone. The mole loses his pick. Then Three Gremlins chops off his foot, too. A second shot is in the air. Flynn has only even gotten halfway to the melee. As the quarrel flies, Abominable removes one of Three Gremlins's hands with a scratch. The arrow hits. Krog finds it in his pancreas. Three Gremlins does an overhand swing at Abominable, and the yeti collapses with a thunderous crash. Flynn reaches the melee now, though! He tries a swing at Three Gremlins, and misses. Utterly disdaining the dwarf, Three Gremlins chops down again, and Abominable is dead.  Krog and Candy Corn have been dueling for a while, basically ineffectually. Madmartigan is fighting the other two melee members of Spooky Scary Skeletons, and they're carving him like a turkey (jumping away means that they're a space away in the above screenshot). Flynn is one space from anyone, so we'll get back to him in another hour. A third arrow flies. As it's in the air, Madmartigan dies, courtesy of a removed neck due to Three Gremlins's pick. Then, the arrow hits Krog again. The larger half of the Dentists lies dead. The elf can't handle arrows, and the dwarf... I don't know. Too much weight? Even with his thick armor, Candy Corn breaks his spine with a thrust. He's still conscious, but he's a quadrapeligic. Everyone beats up on him. Three Gremlins deals the fatal blow, then turns around and removes Krog's hand.  Another arrow flies, but this time Krog steps aside.  And there is Flynn's arm. Even his bits fly through the air slowly. Candy Corn chops at Krog, putting the elf out.  Still another arrow flies. See, this is how you shoot properly: you do it quickly. It hits, but Candy Corn gets the kill, splitting Krog completely in twain, vertically. Final Score Spooky Scary Skeletons: 4 Hell's Dentists: 0 Kills Candy Corn Tiger: 1 Three Gremlins in a Blender: 3 Combat Log
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Nov 6, 2015 18:29
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I did not expect this result, nor did I expect it to be such a one-sided battle.
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Nov 6, 2015 19:10
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Flynn's condition isn't much of a mystery:quote:In Like Flynn (grobbendonk) is a male dwarf. He wields an iron pick and a wooden shield and wears a copper helm, a copper mail shirt, an iron mail shirt, a copper breast plate, copper greaves, copper gauntlets, and copper high boots
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Nov 6, 2015 19:20
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People tend to forget that copper is heavy enough to be good blunt weapon material, and bad enough at protecting you that it's only better than leather at blocking some sharp copper weapons. And it costs twice as much as leather. Pretty much the only copper armor I'd ever buy is a copper cap to give at least basic head protection, and maaaaaybe a copper mail shirt on a minotaur+ sized creature, but not really. If you buy full body copper armor, you'll need a lot of armor skill to make up for it, and at that point you might as well buy iron instead.
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Nov 6, 2015 19:26
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my dad posted:I did not expect this result, nor did I expect it to be such a one-sided battle. I picked Spooky Scary Skeletons as the obvious winner due to their total counter to Hell's Dentists' primary strength, really good defense. They could have been wearing paper mache for all it mattered. That they also had less points total on their team hurt. Also, Pickled Tink, not starving on the streets, are you? Do you need a handout? 
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Nov 6, 2015 20:10
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My plan is to put another shirt on when I can afford it and turn flynn into a pillbox
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Nov 6, 2015 20:36
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my dad posted:People tend to forget that copper is heavy enough to be good blunt weapon material, and bad enough at protecting you that it's only better than leather at blocking some sharp copper weapons. And it costs twice as much as leather. Pretty much the only copper armor I'd ever buy is a copper cap to give at least basic head protection, and maaaaaybe a copper mail shirt on a minotaur+ sized creature, but not really. If you buy full body copper armor, you'll need a lot of armor skill to make up for it, and at that point you might as well buy iron instead. I stand by copper mail as a good teeth/fang deterrent. I'm pretty sure a Molemarian can bite straight through leather.
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Nov 6, 2015 21:37
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Slade gauntlets apparently worked, so a heavy metal glove makes for a useful emergency backup punch/scratch material.
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Nov 6, 2015 22:31
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jon joe posted:I picked Spooky Scary Skeletons as the obvious winner due to their total counter to Hell's Dentists' primary strength, really good defense. They could have been wearing paper mache for all it mattered. That they also had less points total on their team hurt. Yeah. Almost all copper armor versus a team with steel/iron slash/stab with home team advantage would skew the weapon skill advantage.
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Nov 7, 2015 01:16
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my dad posted:People tend to forget that copper is heavy enough to be good blunt weapon material, and bad enough at protecting you that it's only better than leather at blocking some sharp copper weapons. And it costs twice as much as leather. Pretty much the only copper armor I'd ever buy is a copper cap to give at least basic head protection, and maaaaaybe a copper mail shirt on a minotaur+ sized creature, but not really. If you buy full body copper armor, you'll need a lot of armor skill to make up for it, and at that point you might as well buy iron instead. Platinum armor or nothing 
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Nov 7, 2015 01:44
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Hooray! Now I wish I'd actually bet on my team.quote:Candy Corn Tiger (Spooky) charges at Krog Bonesmasha (Hell Dentists)!
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Nov 7, 2015 02:28
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Oh hey my dude is doing alright out there. Helping release some angst of the kobold race via axe murder. Or something. e: the dude is Albrik the Insignificant, btw. gently caress your "small races need this" builds, he's going to die hard with his axe and leather pants Tiler Kiwi fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Nov 7, 2015 |
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Nov 7, 2015 03:05
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Tiler Kiwi posted:Oh hey my dude is doing alright out there. Helping release some angst of the kobold race via axe murder. Or something. Oh hey buddy what's up we beat the poo poo out out one another in fight 1.
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Nov 7, 2015 04:33
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Ramc posted:Oh hey buddy what's up we beat the poo poo out out one another in fight 1. That elf didn't give a gently caress about being gutted. 
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Nov 7, 2015 04:40
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Tiler Kiwi posted:That elf didn't give a gently caress about being gutted. Elves are good. Kobolds are good.
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Nov 7, 2015 04:46
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I took the liberty of tallying up everyone's kills. Halfway through round three, we have several fighters tied on five kills each: Srirarcha Fartstorm Returns of Worse Munki Three Gremlins in a Blender of Spooky Scary Skeletons Albrik the Insignificant of Worker Cooperative Dusseldwarf of Subterranean Animists Qwarf of Subterranean Animists Who will be the first to break the team-and-a-half barrier? AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 13:51 on Nov 7, 2015 |
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Nov 7, 2015 12:57
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AJ_Impy posted:I took the liberty of tallying up everyone's kills. I think there is a mistake with one of the end-of-fight kill tallies. In the log and commentary Josie kills two people, but is only credited in the tally for 1. For posterity.
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Nov 7, 2015 13:02
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Ramc posted:I think there is a mistake with one of the end-of-fight kill tallies. In the log and commentary Josie kills two people, but is only credited in the tally for 1. For posterity. Found it. -1 kill for Dory, +1 kill for Josie. Thanks!
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Nov 7, 2015 13:51
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Now that I've actually remembered this was a thing and seen Albrik do alright, comedic irony dictates that he will die senselessly immediately into his next match. So don't bet on him winning any kill contest.
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Nov 7, 2015 13:53
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I hope my recent Crawl splat in the Snake end vault wasn't some sort of prophecy splat on our upcoming fight with a snake man in it.
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Nov 8, 2015 16:07
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Round Three, Fight Five  Worker Cooperative, the home team, is on the left side of the arena. Combat Liberalism (Jack the Lad) is a female gremlin. She wields a copper large dagger and wears no armor. Unthrottle the Axolotl (Zwingley) is a female kobold. She wields a copper scourge and wears no armor. Jameson the Unruly (alvie) is a male human. He wields an iron two-handed sword and wears a copper cap, a copper breast plate, copper leggings, copper gauntlets, and copper low boots. Albrik the Insignificant (Tiler Kiwi) is a male kobold. He wields an iron battleaxe and wears leather leggings and leather low boots. Team Laser Explosion, the visiting team, is on the right side of the arena. Anthony (dasmause) is a male tigerman. He is empty handed and wears an iron helm, an iron mail shirt, iron greaves, iron gauntlets, and iron low boots. Mogwai (Dark Off) is a female gremlin. She wields a copper large dagger and an iron buckler and wears no armor. Molegrim (Maugrim) is a male molemarian. He wields a copper spear and wears a bronze helm and leather gauntlets. Turquoise Tonic (Hihohe) is a male human. He wields a silver mace and wears a copper cap, leather armor, an iron mail shirt, leather leggings, leather gauntlets, and leather low boots. Worker Cooperative is a 2.26 to 1 betting favorite in this match with 3250.00 dwarfbucks in total bets placed on them, compared to 1436.00 dwarfbucks for Team Laser Explosion. Of some note is how similar these teams really are. Each fields a gremlin with a copper dagger. Both field a human with one-handed weapon and plenty of armor. One side has a pair of kobolds and the other a tiger and a mole, though. Will size or skill win out?  Teams are well-matched in speed this time. Albrik draws first blood, battle axe catching Molegrim's rear foot. In response, and in literally the same moment, Molegrim stabs back, mangling Albrik's left hand, and Anthony punches Liberalism, smashing her right Unthrottle manages to break Anthony's tail with her scourge. Liberalism decides another gremlin is more her weight class, and exchanges stabs with Mogwai, with Mogwai coming away the worse. The two have more different builds than their similar equipment suggests, and it's no surprise to me as I stand behind the curtain that Liberalism is the winner. Anthony punches Unthrottle in the neck, and spine cracks. The spinal column is still together, though, so Unthrottle is in the fight. Anthony is beating up on Liberalism, here, but it's not really anything decisive yet. Jameson stabs away at Mogwai, who is still not doing well. Basically, Mogwai is not doing well this fight.  Then, again at the same moment, Liberalism stabs Anthony and Mogwai stab Liberalism, and both targets give into pain. This is weirdly close to a mirror fight, folks. South of there, Molegrim stabs Albrik in the head, a merely glancing blow, but a reminder of how hard it is to fight a mole unless you land an instantly lethal blow. Of course, now that Anthony is down, he's only improved his tanking abilities. Unthrottle starts trying to beat his skull in, not realizing that copper scourge against a big guy's iron helmet is not a quick winner. Mogwai is trying to deal Liberalism a fatal blow, but so far she's not having luck, either. Albrik eventually finds he's footloose. In the sense that his foot is kind of loosely connected to the leg, I mean.  The humans are fighting, too, I guess. Both of them have injured the other, but it's Jameson who seems to be winning. He might have a seriously damaged arm, but Tonic has outright lost his weapon hand. Jameson dances away from Tonic, towards Molegrim... the mole attacks... Jameson counters and stabs off a foot. The visitors are probably losing, slightly. Unthrottle hits the weaponless Tonic in the foot, and the human crumples to the ground. Albrik and Jameson double-team Molegrim, who's beginning to look the worse for it. Meanwhile, Tonic finally gives up and goes out. Unthrottle begins trying to beat on his skull, instead, with a lot more success. Humans have smaller skulls than tigers, I suppose. And Mogwai just cannot kill Liberalism. Laser Explosion really need his attention elsewhere, but almost double-digit head shots haven't worked yet.  Eventually, Tonic passes away. It took Unthrottle a mere five headshots to kill him. Moments later, Molegrim moves to dodge Albrik's axe, but accidentally goes both ways. Top half goes one way, bottom half the other. It's not all their way. Liberalism finally dies, but it's bloodloss. Mogwai gets the kill, technically, but this bodes ill for the gremlin's ability to mount a counter-offensive. Unthrottle isn't going to make it easy on her; that scourge catches her arm painfully, and her dagger drops to the floor. Laser Explosion have quite literally no more weapons.  Meanwhile, Anthony is still tanking. Jameson can't break that iron helm, either. Mogwai bleeds to death, and the game awards it to Unthrottle. Anthony is the last of the visiting team. He was the first to fall, but the last to die. It's a long time coming, but eventually Jameson strikes him down.  The gore, this time, did not go everywhere. It's pretty concentrated, really. Combat Log Final Score Worker Cooperative: 4 Team Laser Explosion: 1 Kills Jameson the Unruly: 1 Unthrottle the Axolotl: 2 Albrik the Insignificant: 1 Mogwai: 1 Also... sorry, folks, but my work schedule is changing and I probably can't keep pumping out games like I have been this week. It's going to be a few days at a minimum before I can run another.
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Nov 8, 2015 22:22
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Caught up on 30 something posts. Someone will need to point Pickled Tink back to the thread (too busy playing tits sc) so I can run my victory in their face.
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Nov 8, 2015 22:38
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Do tigermen ever manage to be anything but punchingbags? I seem to remember them being pretty ineffectual in the last tournament, too.
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Nov 8, 2015 22:44
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Pharnakes posted:Do tigermen ever manage to be anything but punchingbags? I seem to remember them being pretty ineffectual in the last tournament, too. They're significantly smaller than Minotaurs for only 100 extra points and have worse stats (that extra point of strength on a 'taur does a lot more than the point of Toughness on the Tigerman). I'd much rather build a Werewolf, personally.
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Nov 8, 2015 22:56
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