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tao of lmao posted:

DM: You stand at the edge of a tall cliff. Would you like to get a better look?

Me: No, i'm good

DM: You feel strangely compelled to peer over the edge.

Me: N..NO!

DM: You want to jump, you have nothing left to live for. You want to end this wretched life.

Me: [crying] no i want to live!

DM: You companions agree this is a good idea.

Me: What?

Everyone else: It's true.

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DM: you descend to the next floor of the dungeon. your armor has vanished!

me: what the hell?

DM: you see a suit of red padded armor on the floor in front of you.

me: cast identify

DM: +1 AC. no enchantments. there is a strange insignia on the chest.

me: ugh, put it on and have my companions guard me until we find my equipment.

DM: you seem to have gotten separated from your companions.

me: you son of a bitch.

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