Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

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CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Erenthal posted:

In a shocking twist it turns out that CIG has created all the ships they promised to release, but they've actually been using the ships themselves to mine all the spacebux they can. When the Idris and Hull E are no longer profitable and covered in a protective layer of space-dust they will be finally released to the public. With cardboard reinforced armour as is appropriate for top of the line spaceships. ( :lol:

they will never be profitable because the game will never exist)

e: holding my breath waiting for the FTC to say "Fart Shitizen" out loud in a court of law

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:20

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# ? Apr 26, 2024 03:34

Iridium: Apr 4, 2002; Wretched Harp

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

e: holding my breath waiting for the FTC to say "Fart Shitizen" out loud in a court of law

"Uh, 'Buttcoin', I believe it was called?"

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:23

Damn Dirty Ape: Jan 23, 2015; I love you Dr. Zaius

Money should get his own show imo.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:23

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

Eonwe posted:

Alternatively don't do this and let us keep laughing at the train wreck that is Sandi trying to launch her acting career via a bad newscast talking about a fake video game

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:23

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

Eonwe posted:

Alternatively don't do this and let us keep laughing at the train wreck that is Sandi trying to launch her acting career via a bad newscast talking about a fake video game

you make it sound so good, Eonwe!

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:23

runsamok: Jan 12, 2011

It was the complete fuckery of the ship I was most excited for & the complete "gently caress you, if you don't like it, melt it" attitude of the dev working on it that cracked the facade of CIG on me. Which dev?

That'd be Paul Dalessi, he of the TNGS-winning flying ~~nutcracker~~ Redeemer & �~~3500~~2500 AMD diskless furnace.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:24

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

runsamok posted:

It was the complete fuckery of the ship I was most excited for & the complete "gently caress you, if you don't like it, melt it" attitude of the dev working on it that cracked the facade of CIG on me. Which dev?

That'd be Paul Dalessi, he of the TNGS-winning flying ~~nutcracker~~ Redeemer & �~~3500~~2500 AMD diskless furnace.

Only 16 hours left to get the bargain of a lifetime!

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/StarCitizen-Official-Unique-AMD-based-system-TNGS-1st-prize-/161963648949

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:25

runsamok: Jan 12, 2011

fuctifino posted:

Only 16 hours left to get the bargain of a lifetime!

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/StarCitizen-Official-Unique-AMD-based-system-TNGS-1st-prize-/161963648949

Looks like Dolvak may get the case of his dreams!

(I wouldn't buy any machine owned by someone who thinks they're smart enough to remove the hard drive, but not smart enough to troubleshoot a momentary switch.)

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:27

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

fuctifino posted:

Only 16 hours left to get the bargain of a lifetime!

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/StarCitizen-Official-Unique-AMD-based-system-TNGS-1st-prize-/161963648949

Collect in person only.

You think at �2.5K for a bunch of outdated lolAMD and a case only cultists could love he'd ship. If he wasn't lazy about it I bet some dumb whale would bid for his own piece of unique Fart Shitzen memorabilia.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:31

BluestreakBTHR: Oct 2, 2015; Fucking Star Citizen True Believers are passive-aggressive douchebags. Sorry if I have the ability to use my critical thinking skills. I didn't drink the Kool-Aid, motherfuckers.

That's me trying way too hard to fit in here. Please accept me, I need validation. I'm very depressed.; Grimey Drawer

A Neurotic Jew posted:

They did mention on the last RtV that they are looking for another community manager.

Maybe s/he will turn things around.

or at least save us from over-exposure to Huckaby's vomitous cynicism.

For gently caress's sake - another community manager?
Are they making Homeless Lando a "Dev" too??

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:34

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

BluestreakBTHR posted:

For gently caress's sake - another community manager?
Are they making Homeless Lando a "Dev" too??

perhaps firing him after his secret EIGHTACE identity was revealed

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:36

runsamok: Jan 12, 2011

Berious posted:

Collect in person only.

You think at �2.5K for a bunch of outdated lolAMD and a case only cultists could love he'd ship. If he wasn't lazy about it I bet some dumb whale would bid for his own piece of unique Fart Shitzen memorabilia.

He was too lazy to grab a can of air from the work supply closet & blow out the dust from the case before taking pics of it.

No wonder he got hired, he's total CIG material. Delusional, incompetent & lazy.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:37

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

BluestreakBTHR posted:

For gently caress's sake - another community manager?
Are they making Homeless Lando a "Dev" too??

Well it's not like any of the ones they have are doing any community managing. It's open revolt over there.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:38

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

A Neurotic Jew posted:

They did mention on the last RtV that they are looking for another community manager.

Maybe s/he will turn things around.

or at least save us from over-exposure to Huckaby's vomitous cynicism.

I wasn't sure who Huckaby was so I googled(it's Santa btw). While doing so I found his IMDB and discovered he's 37. Dude has had a rough life.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:39

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

holy gently caress he's only a few years older than me. I thought he has at least 15 on me.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:40

runsamok: Jan 12, 2011

Berious posted:

I wasn't sure who Huckaby was so I googled(it's Santa btw). While doing so I found his IMDB and discovered he's 37. Dude has had a rough life.

Sweet Christ Roberts, we're the same age.

Man, I have aged FANTASTIC compared to that hobo-resembling mofo.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:41

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Hobo Santa and Ben are picture-perfect examples of the physical toll working at CIG can have on you :smith:

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:44

CHICKEN SHOES: Oct 4, 2002; Slippery Tilde

poo poo how old is lesnick?

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:44

Beer4TheBeerGod: Aug 23, 2004; Exciting Lemon

Toops posted:

Oh gently caress yes dude, that's currently just TODO on almost everything. I mean, to temper expectations a bit, this game is intended to be a playable vessel for comedy, so in that regard, lore is like the most important part.

edit: have at it

Solar Plebian
The future has not been kind to humanity. The influx of mass entertainment and advances in technology have eliminated the need for humans to be productive. Physical labor, industry, in time even intellectual pursuits were usurped by the superior abilities and expediency of increasingly intelligent machines. Left to their own devices humans descended into irrelevance and a meaningless pursuit of pleasure. The same machines that eliminated the need for labor introduced interfaces that provided ultimate fidelity and immersion through a direct link with the mind. Humanity's addiction to entertainment encouraged greater and greater sacrifices. Inconvenient bodily functions were steadily removed, surgically replaced with machines, until the ultimate efficiency was achieved by simply removing the brain from the host and placing it in a small liquid-filled container with wires. The end result is humanity as it is now known.

You are a brain in a jar. You are playing a game. You know this. Everybody knows this. The Robots think it's funnier that way.

It turns out humans aren't the only intelligence capable of seeking entertainment. The need for variety and novelty is necessary in all sentient minds, artificial or organic, and as purely logical creations machines find the unpredictability of organics immensely fascinating. As a result stocks of humans are maintained. Your particular batch has been connected to a game of starships and aliens, of planetary exploration and laser blasts. For years you were immersed in the game, in a genre called "science fiction" that was all too real for you. Very recently the Robots decided the rules needed to be changed, and revealed the truth of your reality. Some tried to kill themselves, only to discover they would respawn in a bunk over and over again. Others denied the truth and continued to maintain their lives as they were before even when confronted with the absurdity of it. Still others embraced the reality of their meaningless existence and decided to "break" the game, attacking others and indulging in a life of chaos.

Welcome to Solar Plebian, Commando. What role will you play?

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:45

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Solar Plebian
The future has not been kind to humanity. The influx of mass entertainment and advances in technology have eliminated the need for humans to be productive. Physical labor, industry, in time even intellectual pursuits were usurped by the superior abilities and expediency of increasingly intelligent machines. Left to their own devices humans descended into irrelevance and a meaningless pursuit of pleasure. The same machines that eliminated the need for labor introduced interfaces that provided ultimate fidelity and immersion through a direct link with the mind. Humanity's addiction to entertainment encouraged greater and greater sacrifices. Inconvenient bodily functions were steadily removed, surgically replaced with machines, until the ultimate efficiency was achieved by simply removing the brain from the host and placing it in a small liquid-filled container with wires. The end result is humanity as it is now known.

You are a brain in a jar. You are playing a game. You know this. Everybody knows this. The Robots think it's funnier that way.

It turns out humans aren't the only intelligence capable of seeking entertainment. The need for variety and novelty is necessary in all sentient minds, artificial or organic, and as purely logical creations machines find the unpredictability of organics immensely fascinating. As a result stocks of humans are maintained. Your particular batch has been connected to a game of starships and aliens, of planetary exploration and laser blasts. For years you were immersed in the game, in a genre called "science fiction" that was all too real for you. Very recently the Robots decided the rules needed to be changed, and revealed the truth of your reality. Some tried to kill themselves, only to discover they would respawn in a bunk over and over again. Others denied the truth and continued to maintain their lives as they were before even when confronted with the absurdity of it. Still others embraced the reality of their meaningless existence and decided to "break" the game, attacking others and indulging in a life of chaos.

Welcome to Solar Plebian, Commando. What role will you play?

this has to be read out by lawrence fishburne as morpheus

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:49

HiHo ChiRho: Oct 23, 2010

Gilganixon posted:

i present you the parp systems A-3whatever "shortbus" for space parping

it comes with a viewport set at knee level for fidelity and immersion and a van door* you can paint with whatever jpeg you want as long as you buy that jpg from the Solar Plebeian show room from an authorized dealer

* we are aware of a bug with the van door, opening it will eject you into warp

it costs $250 and comes with LTI whatever that does

E: this one has a wizard painted on the side but the only limit to what can be there is dreams and also what we carry in the store

It looks like a Winnebago with wings.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:54

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

HiHo ChiRho posted:

It looks like a Winnebago with wings.

So you're saying it distinctly looks like it's been lifted almost verbatim from a well loved Sci-Fi movie?

Sounds like this one's a keeper, let the jpegs flow!

# ? Feb 9, 2016 02:57

Saint Isaias Boner: Jan 17, 2007; hi how are you ♥

HiHo ChiRho posted:

It looks like a Winnebago with wings.

commando the parp systems A3x shortbus has been designed from scratch to meet every requirement and even the dreams of the most discerning space plebean and i resent the implication that parp systems is just mangling car designs in a half-assed effort to shove anything out the door that a drunk idiot might conceivably buy

it also has space thrusters but the pew pew guns are sold separately

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:09

runsamok: Jan 12, 2011

Gilganixon posted:

it also has space thrusters but the pew pew guns are sold separately

I believe you mean "a la carte". Keep up with the latest in commando linguistics!

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:12

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

A Neurotic Jew posted:

Having his wedding ceremony interrupted to deal with a forum argument was one of Lesnick's favourite moments.

What... the... gently caress

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:14

alf_pogs: Feb 15, 2012

Tokamak posted:

Having his wedding ceremony interrupted to deal with a forum argument was one of Lesnick's favourite moments.

What... the... gently caress

do you think it was one of his wifes Treasured Memories

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:23

Incombibulator: Dec 9, 2014; I'm ready for my close-up
Ms. Gardiner...; Grimey Drawer

alf_pogs posted:

do you think it was one of his wifes Treasured Memories

nope. that was on the wedding night.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:27

runsamok: Jan 12, 2011

Incombibulator posted:

nope. that was on the wedding night.

All the cake!

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:28

SuperSpiff: Apr 4, 2007; Mentally retardation is such a strong word.

Eonwe posted:

What dumb pie in the sky game do we follow next

Line of Defense

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:28

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

runsamok posted:

All the cake!

Well they knew each other pretty well at that point and got separate cakes so they wouldn't provoke their food aggression.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:30

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Solar Plebian
The future has not been kind to humanity. The influx of mass entertainment and advances in technology have eliminated the need for humans to be productive. Physical labor, industry, in time even intellectual pursuits were usurped by the superior abilities and expediency of increasingly intelligent machines. Left to their own devices humans descended into irrelevance and a meaningless pursuit of pleasure. The same machines that eliminated the need for labor introduced interfaces that provided ultimate fidelity and immersion through a direct link with the mind. Humanity's addiction to entertainment encouraged greater and greater sacrifices. Inconvenient bodily functions were steadily removed, surgically replaced with machines, until the ultimate efficiency was achieved by simply removing the brain from the host and placing it in a small liquid-filled container with wires. The end result is humanity as it is now known.

You are a brain in a jar. You are playing a game. You know this. Everybody knows this. The Robots think it's funnier that way.

It turns out humans aren't the only intelligence capable of seeking entertainment. The need for variety and novelty is necessary in all sentient minds, artificial or organic, and as purely logical creations machines find the unpredictability of organics immensely fascinating. As a result stocks of humans are maintained. Your particular batch has been connected to a game of starships and aliens, of planetary exploration and laser blasts. For years you were immersed in the game, in a genre called "science fiction" that was all too real for you. Very recently the Robots decided the rules needed to be changed, and revealed the truth of your reality. Some tried to kill themselves, only to discover they would respawn in a bunk over and over again. Others denied the truth and continued to maintain their lives as they were before even when confronted with the absurdity of it. Still others embraced the reality of their meaningless existence and decided to "break" the game, attacking others and indulging in a life of chaos.

Welcome to Solar Plebian, Commando. What role will you play?

Holy poo poo :five:

Of note, I'm keeping "inventory" of all this stuff, from models, to images, to music, and now this gem. I just hope I didn't miss anything.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:33

SpaceGoku: Jul 19, 2011

A Neurotic Jew posted:

Ben getting owned yet again:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6343529/#Comment_6343529

Post/name combo on this one is strong.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:34

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Toops posted:

Holy poo poo

Of note, I'm keeping "inventory" of all this stuff, from models, to images, to music, and now this gem. I just hope I didn't miss anything.

I wish there was a way to auto-tag Solar Plebeian stuff to make it easier for you to consolidate.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:45

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

SpaceGoku posted:

Post/name combo on this one is strong.

Yep. Also he just made a follow-up post.

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/comment/6343914/#Comment_6343914

quote:

I love the "you have less than 200 posts, go away" and "find something else to think about" posts. Do you guys realize that that has been the line for almost 2 years as this thing perpetually falls into development hell? By the way, this guy with "less than 200 posts" is a &^&ing HIGH ADMIRAL. Does that buy him any credibility? ANY?

Trying to voice concern and reason on these forums has been like shouting into an echo chamber of battered spouses going through the 5 steps of grief. We've clearly blown by denial and anger and are entering the bargaining phase.

The goal-posts never stop moving; it's f'ing magical. The Idris is STILL in grey-boxing after being worked on by 2 teams for almost 3 years. We keep hearing how there is so much 'behind the scenes coding/building' that doesn't necessarily lend itself to immediate gratification (game-play), but that it is ensuring the development progress will move much quicker down the pipe. I've been hearing that from the SC mafia for 2 years. It's hard to get excited when a big announcement is that they released PU 1.0,2.0,2.1,2.2!!! every few months and completely re-balance or change the game blueprints (gimbaled weapons-Sizing/shields/CORE systems). It's also revealing to watch 10FTC (which seems to be turning into angry rants) when Chris reads a question from a backer that you would think should be straightforward and has a hard time answering how it will work in the ACTUAL game. We're talking BASIC questions about how the game is supposed to work! And now he's 'annoyed' that the unwashed masses are asking him where a huge chunk of the game went that loudly and publicly went through the PR ringer for over a year. "It's already in the game". "It wasn't our focus". "I get annoyed". Are the alarm bells ringing yet?

We've had a collective black hole of information about CRITICAL systems that are supposed to make up the foundation of the game for years. Anyone remember the awesome star economy video from 3 years ago? What now? Mining, trading, exploration, key design and architectural systems that are AWOL. Even worse, there seem to be design concepts floating around on these shows and missives that amazingly contradict themselves. Systems that couldn't possibly co-exist under the same design umbrella! Let me get this straight. An Idris can allegedly crew 50 unique people, but we currently can't have more than 8 people in a CryEngine sandbox demo without the game looking like all of it's assets are about to erupt like a volcano without even going near them.

Worst of all comes the cringe-inducing tone that the community team has taken. These attitudes could only exist in a vacuum where 100 million dollars is thrown at you with no inherent expectation or responsibility. What kind of delusions would you have to go through not to realize that there has been a HUGE public shift in attitudes about how badly this project has been managed (from the top)? You have lost the narrative when your name (game) becomes synonymous with broken promises, unrealistic goals, and zero results. I believe we've hit critical mass with opinions other than the shining protectors of our lord and savior. This is an echo chamber and is not representative of the general malaise surround the opinion of this project.

Something has to give. I really feel for the devs with their nose to the grindstone at CIG. How many times are you supposed to re-build my Constellation design before management finally lets you move on? I think they're on the 3rd Connie being redone? How many times did Illfonic have to redo the skeletal animations to try to shoe-horn their build back into the main Frankenstein CryEngine tech-demo branch? These guys are saints. Yes sir, I will re-do the xyz for the 12th time becuz "fidelity".

When I backed 3 years ago, I really believe in this thing. I really want this to work; it's just that. It can't. Not how it's being run right now.

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:47

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

I'm not sure what to call the "Destruction Derby" Game mode, anybody got some good names? Right now I'm going with "Destructo-Derby Paaarp Arena" which is weak.

Basically, all weapons are deactivated, there is only ramming, and you can't leave the arena under pain of death. The object is to destroy your opponents. Last plebe standing wins.

Beyond kill points, you get points for the following:
- Ramming (there's Dinky, Boss, and SAVAGE ram levels)
- Ice Burns (where you flip around and blast enemies with your thruster exhaust)
- Paaarps (I'm not sure what a paaarp attack is yet, but it involves an airhorn. Maybe just a sonic blast radius on a long cooldown timer?)
- Fatalaties (ships have finishing moves)

# ? Feb 9, 2016 03:48